Perspectives

“They presumably were, as is the nature of their show, aiming to humiliate a lot of well-known people.” Australian Foreign Affairs Minister Alexander Downer, on television comedians who were arrested for driving a motorcade carrying a man dressed as Osama bin Laden through two checkpoints into Sydney’s APEC Forum security zone, a block from George W. Bush’s hotel

“There is an honorable butcher in our neighborhood who is aware of all the problems of the people, and I also get important economic information from him.” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, whose policies risk wrecking his country’s economy, on how he keeps in touch with the lives of the poor

“When he goes into battle, a soldier should not have to feel that a portion of our society regards him as a sucker.” Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak, pledging a crackdown on the country’s growing number of draft dodgers, including young celebrities who escape service through sham marriages, low aptitude-test scores or health excuses

Quotation sources from top to bottom: Sydney Morning Herald, New York Times (2), Globe And Mail

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Justin Via”

“You can’t have three fliers and four comatose people up there along for the ride.” Former NASA rocket scientist James Oberg, responding to recent reports of NASA astronauts drunken-flying in space. The claims are outlined in a review of astronaut health that NASA ordered in the wake the Lisa Nowak scandal.

“It’s a fun day. It’s a family day.” Jerry Thibodeau, the organizer of the New Hampshire Machine Gun Shoot, a Republican fund-raiser, where attendees can spend the day trying out automatic weapons

“I am a retired Christian.” British actor Peter O’Toole, who will star in a U.S. cable-television series as Pope Paul III

“[He] loves what we call homemade ‘cheeseburger pizzas’.” White House chef Cristeta Comerford, describing President George W. Bush’s favorite supper—a pizza that consists of ground beef, cheese, ketchup, pickles, fried onions and tomatoes on top of a standard crust

“I don’t know who they are. But I like them.” Pauline Kemunto, of Kenya, who works with her husband carving, smoothing and selling cartoon replicas of the Simpsons. The U.S. television series had its big-screen debut on July 27.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Bonnie Matthews”

“These aren’t debates—this is a cross between ‘The Bachelor,’ ‘American Idol’ and ‘Who’s Smarter Than a Fifth Grader’.” U.S. conservative politician Newt Gingrich, who calls the current White House race too long, too expensive and “insane,” but still may enter it

“No matter what, it’s going to stay ‘4Real.’ I’m certainly not a quitter.” New Zealander Pat Wheaton, after the government registry rejected his newborn son’s given name, 4Real. Wheaton and his wife say they will now apply to name their son Superman, but will call him 4Real regardless.

“Yes, they were tortured by electricity, and they were threatened that their family members would be targeted.” Saif al-Islam al-Qadhafi, the son of Libyan leader Muammar Kaddafi, acknowledging on Al-Jazeera TV that Libyan authorities abused the Bulgarian medical workers who were jailed on charges of infecting children with HIV

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Robert Hutchins”

Rep. Nancy Pelosi, on being elected the first woman Speaker of the House in U.S. history as the 110th Congress opened

“I don’t think he thought it was real.”

Julio Gustavo, on his 10-year-old nephew Sergio, who died after apparently mimicking the execution of Saddam Hussein by hanging himself from a bunk bed in Webster, Texas. Two other deadly copycat hangings–by a 15-year-old girl in eastern India and a 9-year-old boy in Pakistan–have been reported.

“She’s been here for six years. It’s hard duty.”

White House spokesman Tony Snow, on why former Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers resigned as White House counsel. Miers withdrew as a candidate for the high court in 2005 amid protests from Republicans that she lacked credentials and was not a proven conservative.

“He’s one hell of a quarterback … He can throw the ball in ways that are unheard of.”

LSU receiver Early Doucet, on teammate JaMarcus Russell’s MVP performance at the Sugar Bowl. Russell passed for 332 yards, including two touchdowns, against Notre Dame.

“That nonveto hamstrings Congress.”

American Bar Association president Michael Greco, on President Bush’s signing statement–attached to a recent law–asserting the power to conduct mail searches in “exigent circumstances” without warrants. Unlike a veto, a signing statement cannot be overriden by Congress. The White House denies any change in policy.

“I guess it’s the same old story of the political use of the FBI.”

Lawyer Alexander Charns, on a newly released FBI file showing the Nixon and Reagan administrations used the bureau to investigate witnesses at the late chief justice William Rehnquist’s confirmation hearings. The file also said Rehnquist had hallucinations after going off prescription meds in 1981.

“I’m not whining.”

North Carolina Rep. Patrick McHenry, a Republican, on proposing a “minority bill of rights”–similar to a blocked 2004 plan by the then Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi–to protect his party

“Don’t move, or both of us’ll die.”

New Yorker Wesley Autrey, after leaping onto the subway tracks and covering a man who had fallen, as an oncoming train approached. The two were unharmed.

“She calls it her ‘Rocky moment’.”

Britney Spears’s manager, Larry Rudolph, on the image-tattered singer’s planned comeback in 2007

Reader Matthew Glynn of Buffalo, N.Y., submitted this quote: “To fly 7 million light-years to O’Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable.”

O’Hare International Airport controller Craig Burzych, on reports–made public last week–that airline workers saw a UFO there last fall. The FAA says it was a weather phenomenon.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Holly Mix”

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, on remarks from the Bush administration describing the Iraqi government as being “on borrowed time”

“The jury will not be asked to render a verdict on the war.”

Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, on the jury selection for the trial of former White House aide I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby. Libby–whose attorneys are reportedly trying to weed out anti-Bush jurors–is charged with lying during an investigation into the identity leak of a former CIA agent.

“Our leaders in Washington seem incapable of working together in a practical, common-sense way.”

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, on why he has formed a presidential exploratory committee. Obama said he’ll announce definitively whether he’ll run or not on Feb. 10.

“[The Bush library] will promote a point of view that is contrary to the Methodist point of view.”

Retired minister Milton Jordan, on an online petition organized by ministers urging Southern Methodist University to reject plans to build George W. Bush’s presidential library and policy center on its Dallas campus

“We’re satisfied that this will be effective. We found a happy agreement.”

White House spokesman Tony Snow, on the Bush administration’s consenting to oversight of the domestic wiretapping program by a secret court. President Bush has previously said such court approval would hamstring surveillance operations.

“I am cursed with the responsibility gene.”

Sen. Hillary Clinton, on why she says her rhetoric on Iraq is measured in tone. She announced Saturday she was forming an exploratory committee for a presidential run.

“The San Francisco Democrats want to run the cars on the road with wind.”

Rep. Steve Pearce, Republican of New Mexico, on a recently passed House bill that would rescind $14 billion in tax breaks and subsidies for oil drillers. The money saved–which opponents have labeled a “slush fund”–would go toward research into alternative energy.

“It was a horrible choice.”

GOP strategist Royal Masset, on Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s having rocker Ted Nugent play his inauguration party. Nugent reportedly wore a Confederate-flag T shirt and yelled offensive remarks.

“You look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle.”

“American Idol” judge Simon Cowell, to an opening-week contestant

“You’re telling me that an unarmed man with one leg just robbed a bank and then wheeled over here to get a sub?” Virginia sub-shop manager Amanda Carriker, to police officers searching for a disabled man they suspected of robbing a nearby bank. The accused reportedly stopped for a sandwich after his accomplice drove off without him.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Ann Bianchi”

Former president Gerald R. Ford, in a just-now-published New York Daily News interview from last May, opposing President Bush’s reasoning for the Iraq war

“The governor was awake, alert and talking in the recovery room.”

Dr. Kevin Ehrhart, on California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, following surgery to repair a broken leg he incurred while skiing. The governor is expected to be on crutches for his Jan. 5 Inauguration.

“I wish him well and am glad he’s out of the AL West.”

Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks, on failing to sign free-agent pitcher Barry Zito, who reportedly agreed to a seven-year, $126 million contract with the San Francisco Giants–the largest deal ever for a pitcher

“His life and career would be a lot different had he not made that arrest.”

Attorney Richard Shinee, on James Mee, the L.A. County sheriff’s deputy who arrested Mel Gibson in July on suspicion of drunken driving. Mee alleges he has been harassed at work since reporting Gibson’s anti-Semitic tirade; sheriff’s department officials deny the allegations.

“I call on you not to hate because hate does not leave space for a person to be fair.”

Saddam Hussein, in a letter posted online after an appeals court upheld his death sentence, urging Iraqis not to hate U.S. forces there

“I’ve reached my own conclusion that this is the best way to serve my country.”

Former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards, on NBC’s “Today” show, explaining why he is running for president in 2008

“We don’t want to see Mogadishu destroyed.”

Sheik Sharif Sheikh Ahmed, an Islamist leader in Somalia, on why his forces vanished from the nation’s capital last week, allowing Ethiopian-backed troops to take the city. Following the Islamist retreat, chaos and looting occurred throughout the capital.

“It’s a success that hasn’t occurred yet.”

Bush homeland-security adviser Frances Fragos Townsend, on whether the fact that the U.S. government has not found Osama bin Laden should be termed a failure

“She’s a mental midget, a lowlife.”

Donald Trump, on Rosie O’Donnell, who called him a “pimp” on her blog–the latest exchange in a feud that recently erupted between the two

Reader Ed Davids of Manhattan Beach, Calif., submitted this quote:

“We were blown away … But we certainly won’t be naming any of the hatchlings Jesus.”

Chester Zoo reptile expert Kevin Buley, on news that Flora, a Komodo dragon in the English zoo, was pregnant despite being a virgin. Reptiles can reproduce asexually, though it is extremely rare in this species.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Hugh Stepnoski”

California Sen. Barbara Boxer, to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Senate hearing on Iraq. Boxer’s remarks prompted a debate over whether she went too far.

“At $5.15 an hour, I get zero applicants–or maybe a guy with one leg who wouldn’t pass a drug test.”

Idaho restaurant owner Rob Elder, on the difficulties of finding good workers with his state’s low minimum wage, compared with nearby Washington state’s $7.93 an hour, the highest in the nation

“David Beckham coming to the United States is … [like] Tiger Woods meeting Brad Pitt on the red carpet. This transcends sports.”

USA Today sports columnist Christine Brennan, on news that the soccer star is leaving European powerhouse Real Madrid to sign a reported $250 million, five-year deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy

“It was good theater for you–and for Jay Leno.”

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, to members of the press, on a mysterious gaslike odor in Manhattan last week. City officials pointed to New Jersey industrial waste, which officials there denied.

“A city that could not be drowned in the waters of a storm will not be drowned in the blood of its citizens.”

The Rev. John C. Raphael Sr., to the more than 3,000 New Orleans residents who marched on city hall in protest of violence that has claimed nine lives since New Year’s

“They are proposing that these people who save lives … can’t be trusted to maintain their locker.”

Steve Cassidy, of the Uniformed Firefighters Association, on a New York Fire Department policy that reportedly forced firefighters to remove U.S. flags and 9/11 memorial cards from lockers. Officials said the policy targeted only offensive material.

“My Fox guys, I love every single one of them.”

Condoleezza Rice, overheard on an open mike between interviews, revealing her favorite TV news personalities. Rice also said she liked CBS anchor Harry Smith, even though his network is, “like, 55 in the ratings.”

“It makes perfect sense here in Dallas, in Phoenix, in Denver.”

Pizza Patrón spokesman Andy Gamm, on why the restaurant chain is accepting Mexican pesos. It has received death threats as a result.

“I am appalled at this new scheme.”

Consultant plastic surgeon Douglas McGeorge, on a plastic-surgery lottery being offered in Britain

Reader Jerry Banks of Atlanta submitted this quote: “Like I said, desperate measures call for desperate times.”

Seattle Seahawks defensive back Jordan Babineaux, on tackling Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo at the end of a first-round playoff game. Dallas lost by one point after Romo bobbled the snap for a field goal that would have given his team the lead with a minute left.

Quotation sources from top to bottom, left to right: New York Times (2), ABC News, New York Times, AP, Reuters (2), AP, BBC, nbcsports.com

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Lawrence Marriner”

Outgoing State Department terror coordinator Henry Crumpton , on the U.S.-led war on terror

“Fatherland, socialism or death–I swear it. I swear by Christ–the greatest socialist in history.”

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, echoing Fidel Castro

“My Fox guys, I love every single one of them.”

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice , referring to correspondents working for the Fox News Channel. Rice’s comment was inadvertently picked up by an open microphone in between morning television interviews.

“The Anglo-Saxons arrived in Australia in shackles. [Muslims] came as free people. We bought our own tickets. We are entitled to Australia more than they are.”

Sheik Taj el-Din al-Hilali, Australia’s top Muslim cleric, during an appearance on an Egyptian television show

“It was good theater for you–and for Jay Leno.”

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, to members of the press, on the mysterious gaslike odor in Manhattan last week. City officials pointed to New Jersey industrial waste, which officials there denied.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Kimberley Gordon”

Ethiopian Prime Minister Meles Zenawi, on his military’s advancement into Somalia’s capital after Islamist troops vanished last week

“I’ve reached my own conclusion that this is the best way to serve my country.” Former Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards, announcing last week that he would run for president in 2008

“[James Brown] went from an at-risk child to a global cultural icon, and that is a part of the Christmas story. After all, Jesus was an at-risk child who grew up to be King of Kings.” The Reverend Jesse Jackson, on the death of singer James Brown

“I have absolutely no fear, no concern whatsoever. It is part of our faith and that’s why we are here.” Indian-born London Underground worker Nazir Hussein, who last week embarked on this year’s hajj. His aunt and uncle were among 362 killed in a stampede last year.

“There’s no point in using cheap sociology at a time like this. Felons have to be treated as felons.” Sérgio Cabral, the new governor of Rio de Janeiro, on gang violence that claimed 18 lives in Brazil’s capital last week. The gangs were trying to undermine Cabral’s authority prior to his inauguration.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “John Hickman”

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, on his wish to vacate his office before his term is completed

“There is no government in the world that could do that.”

Thai Interim Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont, asked if he could guarantee no repeat of the deadly New Year’s Day bombings in Bangkok

“I don’t know if the pants still fit, but I know the hat will.”

“Indiana Jones” star Harrison Ford, on the fourth Jones movie, which will begin filming this year

“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear. The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”

The Rev. Pat Robertson, claiming that God told him terrorists would attack the United States in late 2007

“At home in England you can’t even climb a tree without a safety certificate, so I hope it will ignite a little spark in some families.”

Hertfordshire resident Peter Perham, on his 14-year-old son’s record-breaking solo sail across the Atlantic Ocean

“That’s not his focus.”

White House spokesman Scott Stanzel, on why U.S. President George W. Bush has not watched the video of Saddam Hussein’s execution

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Johnnie Dixon”

“It would be like Miss USA wearing a dress showing images of the Ku Klux Klan in the Deep South, with their hoods, their burning crosses and beer cans.” Mexican columnist Jorge Camil, on Miss Mexico’s plan to wear a gown to the Miss Universe pageant depicting violent scenes from an early 19th-century Roman Catholic uprising

“We don’t want to confront our bodily functions anymore. We’re too busy.” Linda C. Andrist, a professor at MGH Institute of Health Professions in Boston, on a new contraceptive pill that eliminates menstruation

“Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.” U.S. presidential hopeful John McCain, jokingly making up lyrics to the Beach Boys song “Barbara Ann,” in response to a question about the possibility of U.S. military action against Iran

“I was running around my hotel like a freak.” Stuart Gold, a California-based software-firm executive, on the technical glitch that left him and more than 5 million other Americans without their BlackBerry wireless e-mail service for 10 hours starting last Tuesday night

Quotation sources, top to bottom: Newsweek Reporting, BBC, New York Times, Fox News, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Karen Abadie”

“We believe these new passports are sinful.” Valentina Yepifanova, one of 100 residents of the Russian village of Bogolyubovo, which translates to “God-loving” in Russian, who are refusing to get new passports because they believe the bar codes contain satanic symbols

“She was not much of a looker.” Publisher Helen Trayler, explaining Wordsworth Editions’ decision to add makeup and hair extensions and remove the nightcap on a painting of Jane Austen used on the cover of a book about her life

“This is pocket money for me.” Japanese billionaire and real-estate mogul Genshiro Kawamoto, on giving a $5 million Hawaii home to a homeless single mother of five

“The reason Republicans lost the war—sorry, the last election—was because of spending.” Republican Presidential candidate John McCain, in a slip of the tongue during a campaign stop in Iowa. McCain is traveling aboard his campaign bus, the “Straight Talk Express.”

“The great danger would be to leave the field open to sects and charlatans.” Jacques Patinet, head of the UFO division of France’s space agency on the release of 100,000 pages of documents about reports of extraterrestrial contact

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Patrick Squier”

“You have permission to call me anything you want—except sir, all right? Lord of lords, your demigodness, that’ll do.” U2’s Bono, joking about his knighthood

“They have bloggers in Baghdad, just like we’ve got here.” U.S. President George W. Bush, citing two anonymous Iraqi bloggers who wrote that the situation in Baghdad was improving

“I have no rights in the Romanian state because I died in 2005.” Filoftea Popescu, 55, who was mistakenly declared dead by Romanian authorities struggling to conform to EU bureaucratic standards. Popescu was asked to pay a fine to prove she is still alive.

“You can see the flush on their faces. Taking eight or nine meters of cloth off your head releases a certain amount of pressure.” Indian hairdresser Namrata Saluja, on Sikh men shedding their turbans and getting their first haircuts. Up to half of Sikh men have dropped the turban as India modernizes.

Sources: AP (2), New York Times, Reuters, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “David Singh”

“Frankly, given what it looks like, we don’t have the technical capacity to create something like this. It’s pretty extraordinary.” Presidential candidate Barack Obama, on a viral “mash-up” video that showed his Democratic rival Hillary Clinton edited into an iconic Apple Computer television spot from 1984

“While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore.” New York Supreme Court Judge Sheila Abdus-Salaam, reading a complaint from a New York couple against a fertility clinic that allegedly impregnated the wife with the wrong sperm

“The general felt it was best to move them out of that area.” Army spokesman Lt. Col. Lou Leto, on the unusual withdrawal of a 120-member Marine unit from Afghanistan following an incident in which Marines from the unit are accused of shooting and killing civilians

“The great danger would be to leave the field open to sects and charlatans.” Jacques Patinet, head of the UFO division of France’s space agency, on the release of 100,000 pages of documents about reports of extraterrestrial contact

“Some raw material has entered our supply chain that did not meet the quality that had been represented.” Paul Henderson, president of Menu Foods, on recalls of his company’s cat-food products after an ingredient used in rat poison was detected in it

“I have not met one single Web master or adult-video producer that is in favor of.xxx, and I’ve met a lot of them.” Mark Kernes, a board member of the adult-industry trade group Free Speech Coalition, on the proposed creation of .xxx Internet addresses for adult sites. The proposal is expected to come to a vote this week.

“It’s not something I want my name on.” Tennessee state Sen. Raymond Finney, on his lack of support for a resolution in the state legislature to honor singer and Tennessee native Justin Timberlake

“If I give an interview to you, I have to give an interview to everyone.” Publicity-shy author Gabriel García Márquez, to a reporter at a press luncheon in Colombia. After seeing the reporter’s reaction, García Márquez reportedly followed with “I love you, young man.”

“This isn’t something we’ve seen before. It’s a lot of underwear to take.” Lt. Edgar Martinez, spokesman for the Jersey City Police Department, on the three shoplifters who made off with $12,000 of bras and panties from a Victoria’s Secret location

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Kelly Weeks”

“Could Darwin have been wrong? Why do so many of our statesmen have calloused knuckles?” Novelist Gore Vidal, on growing anti-intellectualist sentiment in the United States

“I think America is ready for a multilingual president.” Hillary Clinton, after adopting a Southern accent while campaigning in South Carolina

“We want to create a site that allows people to … share something with new friends, to share pain and loneliness.” Luo Chuan, the new chief executive of MySpace.com in China, which ran a test launch last week

“Does this mean you don’t like football anymore, Mike?” Los Angeles Times sportswriter Mike Penner’s Welsh barber, Robert, responding to the journalist’s decision to undergo gender-reassignment surgery. Penner recently told readers that he would return from vacation as “Christine.”

Quotation Sources from top to bottom: New York Times, Newsweek, CNN, AP, New York Times, Los Angeles Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Betty Ogle”

“He should say, ‘I, the king, confess, I was beside myself, I made a mistake’.” Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, demanding an apology from Spanish King Juan Carlos for telling him to shut up when he interrupted a speech by Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero

“The difference is that hedge funds don’t make cars last time I checked.” Spokesperson for Porsche on the accusation that the luxury carmaker, which earns at least three times more from trading derivatives than it does from car sales, acts like a hedge fund

“Investors better go to the drugstore and get a neck brace.” Investment strategist Ed Yardeni, on the daily ups and downs of the “extremely emotional” stock market

Quotation sources, top to bottom: Los Angeles Times, Reuters, Financial Times, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Dave Taylor”

“I said I was a friend of America, and with that, they elected me—not bad.” French president Nicolas Sarkozy, commenting on his election campaign during a meeting with the French American Business Council in Washington, D.C.

“People are buying guns more than ever.” Beirut arms dealer Abu Jamil, whose business is booming amid rising tension before Lebanon’s presidential election. Last year he charged around $500 for an AK-47 rifle —now the price is $900

“While technologically and financially you are giants, morally you are pygmies.” United States Congressman Tom Lantos, dressing down Yahoo Inc. executives for their company’s cooperation with Chinese authorities to identify at least two Chinese dissidents who are now in prison

“We cannot let our country become the stage for dirty geopolitical escapades by other countries.” Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili, blaming Russia for his country’s state of emergency after police battled protestors calling for his resignation and he shut down the leading opposition TV station

Quotation sources from top to bottom: New York Times (2), Christian Science Monitor, Wall Street Journal, Financial Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Al Bayas”

“We’re not against foreigners—at least not against good foreigners who work hard.” Pirmin Schwander , parliamentarian for the ultranationalist Swiss People’s Party

“I’ve been absolved! I’ve been absolved!” Rabei Osman, the alleged mastermind of the 2004 Madrid commuter train bombing, after Spain’s National Court acquitted him of mass-murder charges

“So they’ll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can’t do what comes naturally?” Tony Elwood, an Australian who flew with his wife in one of the 12 first-class suites aboard Singapore Airlines’ inaugural double-decker Airbus A380 flight, on the carrier’s request that passengers refrain from sex during the trip

“I believe that America is behind this matter.” Iraqi fisherman Hatim Karim, on the shark caught in a Euphrates River irrigation canal more than 200 kilometers from the sea

“My friends used to ask me to say anything—just one thing—that was not to do with heavy metal, and I couldn’t.” Roger Tullgren , describing how his heavy-metal addiction entitled him to sickness payments under Sweden’s social-welfare system

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-24” author: “Beverly Simple”

“My name and identity were carelessly and recklessly abused by senior officials in the White House and State Department. I could no longer perform the work for which I had been highly trained.” Former CIA officer Valerie Plame, testifying before a congressional committee about being exposed as a covert agent in 2003. Plame is planning to sue Vice President Dick Cheney and others.

“If I were the president, I would fire the attorney general.” New Hampshire Sen. John Sununu, a Republican, on Alberto Gonzales’s handling of the dismissal of eight federal prosecutors

“She received the benefit of advice that what was being done was perfectly legal. She never had the slightest criminal intent.” Attorney James J. Brosnahan, on his client, former Hewlett-Packard chairwoman Patricia Dunn. Charges against Dunn for allegedly spying on her board members have been dismissed.

“We few of us out there who are open with our love of math—who are unabashed math lovers—for us, this is the day where we get to let our hair down and be silly.” St. Olaf College’s Luke Anderson, on celebrating Pi Day on March 14 (that is, 3.14)

“If [stereotypical gay men] want to be accepted as couples and daddies … the flamboyance may have to be brought under control. Parents are supposed to stand in back and not wear chartreuse pants and black polka-dot shirts. That’s for the kids.” Garrison Keillor, in an essay on the evolving American family and gay parenting

“Lines beget lines.” Disney film executive Chuck Viane, on the surprising success of movies like “Ghost Rider” feeding releases like “300” "

I think you’re going to see tourists taking their picture with the mailboxes all the time, too. It will be a hilarious thing to see when you’re going about your business." Seattle business owner Ganny Hochberg, on new mailboxes designed to look like the “Star Wars” character R2-D2. The U.S. Postal Service is installing the boxes in about 200 cities.

“Even the best wrestlers want some insurance against losing. The fixing used to be much worse than it is now. But I can tell by watching that they are still doing it.” Retired sumo wrestler Keisuke Itai, who says he threw matches in the 1980s, on a Japanese magazine’s allegations the sport suffers from rampant cheating

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “John Kallevig”

“I’ve had the itch for 30 years.” Actor John Travolta, on his return to movie musicals after almost three decades to play the role of a plump Baltimore housewife in “Hairspray”

“They can go hang.” Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe, responding to international opponents of his latest crackdown on anti-government demonstrations

“Our concept is more to accomplish and solve things, rather than giving; that is, not going around like Santa Claus. Poverty isn’t solved with donations.” Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, taking a jab at Warren Buffett and Bill Gates while announcing his new $450 million foundation for health care and research

“What we in journalism need is a spine transplant.” Former CBS anchorman Dan Rather, arguing that American journalism has “lost its guts” because of reporters’ unwillingness to ask tough questions and their tendency to get too close to politicians

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Jeffrey Burris”

“I’ve certainly not reached a decision about that.” Gen. David Petraeus, on whether the 21,500 American soldiers deployed to Iraq as a security reinforcement would remain there until early 2008

“She’s really gone into the realm of wanting to be, what-ever, a personality, a celebrity flame-thrower.” Glenn Gilbert, executive editor of The Oakland Press, one of several newspapers to drop a column by Ann Coulter after the pundit used an anti-gay slur against presidential candidate John Edwards this month

“I have been trying to hold down the rhetoric and try to deal with this on a factual and analytical basis, and his letter was volcanic.” Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter, on a published letter by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, in which he referred to the controversial ouster of eight federal prosecutors as an “overblown personnel matter”

“I think it’s fabulous he finally paid them.” Susan Clippinger, a Cambridge, Mass., parking and transportation official, on presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s recent $375 payment for parking tickets accrued while he studied at Harvard Law School from 1988 to 1991

“They have lost their only child due to Lane Garrison’s recklessness.” Paul R. Kiesel, attorney for the family of a teenager killed in an auto accident while riding with Garrison, former star of television’s “Prison Break.” Garrison faces more than six years in prison.

“It helps us get over the stress and feel like men again.” Baghdad resident Nashwan Habeeb, on a trend pharmacists there are noticing: a rise in the number of men asking for Viagra knockoffs

“She was crying. She was saying, ‘Please take us home, please take us home’.” Leon Peck, describing a phone call from his sister Marina Kovalesky, who, along with her daughter Yana, was a victim of thallium poisoning in Moscow. Peck flew to Russia with the antidote; the two are now recovering in a Los Angeles hospital.

“My husband started to unwrap one and said, ‘This is strange, it looks like a liver.’ He started the second one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.” Ludivine Larmande, of Kent County, Mich., on opening a misaddressed package meant for a lab

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Johnny Pitts”

“If you have a white Southern mother, or a mother from the middle states who has ancestry in the South, it doesn’t strike me that that should be very surprising.” Gary Boyd Roberts, of the New England Historic Genealogical Society, on a report that Barack Obama’s mother’s ancestors owned slaves

“We would like clarification of the term ‘reasonable doubt’.” A note from the jury deliberating over the perjury charges against former White House aide Lewis (Scooter) Libby.The request suggests that jurors are discussing Libby’s memory of the events.

“There are only two options: TV or computer. What else can I do in the holiday as all markets … and cafeterias are shut down?” Xu Yan, a teacher in China, on the death of a26-year-old, 330-pound man who collapsed after a “marathon” online gaming session that lasted nearly seven days

“This is a hopeful day.” President George W. Bush, on his first trip to the Gulf Coast in six months, reassuring residents that “we still think about them in Washington”

“It is an unfortunate fact of life that funds will need to be generated to counteract the present injustice.” From a statement on the legal defense site of Deborah J. Palfrey, the alleged head of a D.C.-area prostitution ring. Palfrey has threatened to sell “the entire 46 pounds of detailed and itemized phone records” to raise funds to defend herself against federal racketeering charges.

“I know Pacman, and I know he didn’t do this.” Willie Louise Davis, on her grandson, Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam (Pacman) Jones. Jones was at the scene of a triple shooting in Las Vegas in which a man was paralyzed.

“Could you double-check the envelope?” Martin Scorsese, while accepting his Academy Award for best director. He had been passed over for an Oscar on six prior nominations.

“It’s just way over the top.” American tourist Christie Rathgaber, on the elaborate memorial service for Anna Nicole Smith in the Bahamas

Reader Kristy Jurst of New Braunfels, Texas, submitted this quote:

“My client had absolutely nothing to do with any animal getting a degree from an institution of higher learning.” Lawyer Dean Henry, on Fostoria, Ohio, Police Chief John McGuire, who holds a degree from an online college that also reportedly issued a degree to a police dog. McGuire is awaiting trial for allegedly falsifying records.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Mike Michalski”

“[They] wanted to make this known, otherwise I don’t know why they would have gone to Euro Disney to watch a parade with Mickey Mouse.” Colombe Pringle , editorial director of Point de Vue, a French gossip magazine, discussing the romantic relationship between French President Nicolas Sarkozy and former supermodel Carla Bruni

" What we ’ ve identified is an act of violence by a black hole, with an unfortunate nearby galaxy in the line of fire. " Astrophysicist Dan Evans, who led a study at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics that found that a black hole at the center of a distant galaxy is blasting another galaxy nearby

" We know that Saudi Arabia invests in the propaganda of the Saudi Arabian-style Islam … much more than the whole Soviet Union for the whole Soviet history spent on the propaganda of the communist ideology." Evgeny Satanovskiy , president of the Institute of Middle Eastern Studies in Moscow, discussing the targeting of Russians on the hajj with extremist Islamic propaganda

" You ain ’ t seen nothing yet … It ’ s going to be huge. The tea leaves are not difficult to read. " An unnamed hedge-fund manager, predicting high levels of success for hedge funds in 2008

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Eric Mcmullen”

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, in a speech after the U.S. National Intelligence Estimate reported that, contrary to Bush administration assertions, Iran has halted its nuclear-weapons program

“I’m not against the peacekeepers, I just find them a waste of money.”

Economist Jeffrey Sachs, head of the Earth Institute at Columbia University, dismissing the peacekeeping effort in Darfur as irrelevant since there is no accompanying development plan for health clinics, schools, electricity and water holes

“I am 120 centimeters tall and how much I weigh is a secret. I know a lot about the Prius.”

Robina, a new"partner robot"created by Toyota to be a tour guide at the company’s Tokyo headquarters—it can also carry on simple conversation and sign its name

“Everything is still there, even the oil and vinegar in the kitchen.”

Bela Horvat, lieutenant colonel at Serbia’s Defense Ministry, on plans to sell the"salon wagon"from the Blue Train used by late communist dictator Josip Broz Tito to crisscross Yugoslavia

“We’ve said, just take us off the map, actually.”

Geoff Coombs, a council member in Barrow Gurney, one of England’s tiny villages whose narrow streets are clogged with traffic because Global Positioning Systems identify them as good routes

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Mary Clemens”

“We don’t need poetry. We don’t need reflection. We need money.” Adil Jazouli, a sociologist who focuses on France’s immigrant suburbs, on how failure to deal with chronic lack of jobs and education has brought another bout of youth rioting—this time with shooting at police

“But what can be done if a man is hellbent on finding a woman’s whereabouts?” Taseen Khorakiwala, a resident of Bhopal, India, where officials have halted an e-government text-messaging service that gave out drivers’ contact details, after men used it to harass women

“There is an unrealistic or even impractical obsession with your form of democracy, human rights and civil liberties, which you have taken centuries to acquire and which you expect us to adopt in a few years, in a few months.” Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, addressing foreign diplomats as he was sworn in to another term the day after resigning as head of military

“We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly.” Emma Clarke, former official announcer for the London Underground, in one of the spoof messages that got her fired from her job

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Gerard Odems”

" There is more vomiting, nudity and defecation: the stuff consumers really want. " An unnamed Paramount Pictures executive, on the upcoming film “Jackass 2.5”—a film composed of outtakes from “Jackass 2”—which debuts online this week

" This president may be a woman, but we ’ re not going to allow them to pressure us. " The newly elected president of Argentina, Cristina Fernàndez de Kirchner, responding to American claims that Venezuela smuggled $800,000 into Argentina to fund Fernàdez’s election campaign

" In the wrong hands, samurai swords are dangerous weapons. " British Home Office Minister Vernon Coaker, discussing the country’s recent decision to ban samurai swords in response to a rash of highly publicized attacks involving the weapon. Swords used by martial-arts enthusiasts, however, would be exempt.

" The vodka quickly had an effect. " A spokesperson for the Nuremberg police department discussing the case of a 64-year-old man who drank a liter of vodka at an airport checkpoint, after being told he could not take the alcohol on the airplane. He was treated at a local hospital for alcohol poisoning.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Jenny Miller”

“How can a person with a mustache be removed? This is a democratic country.” Judges H. K. Sema and Markandey Katju, in a ruling criticizing India Airlines for sacking a crew member due to his inordinately large handlebar mustache

“I have not completely lost my mind to the dog world, just my heart.” Patty Hearst, heiress and former brainwashing victim of the Symbionese Liberation Army, who showed her prize-winning French bulldog at the Westminster Kennel Club show

“It’s like the Hotel California … You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” Facebook user Nipon Das, on the difficulty of deleting his account from the popular online networking site

“I don’t see mass transportation switching to cars that dive.” Frank Rinderknecht, CEO of Switzerland’s Rinspeed Inc., on his company’s new specialty auto that can drive underwater, inspired by James Bond’s vehicle in “The Spy Who Loved Me”

“Britain has become the true Prozac Nation.” Nick Clegg, leader of Britain’s Liberal Democrats, on the country’s overreliance on antidepressants

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-24” author: “Etta Taylor”

" We have four empresses with different names and a tsar … the true Romanovs, whom I know well, are not among them." Vladimir Churov , chairman of Russia’s Central Election Commission, on a spate of applications from fake aristocrasy seeking to run in the March parliamentary elections

“It is not meant as a nose joke.” Kanittha Rattanasin , a Thai sign-language interpreter, on the national sign—two fingers pinching the proboscis—for the prominent-featured new prime minister, Samak Sundaravej

" We are unsure whether … institutions would be clamoring to accept people with McQualifications." Sally Hunt , general secretary of Britain’s University and College Union, on a government plan to allow McDonald’s to grant employees high-school-equivalency degrees for management training

“I always wanted to write novels anyway.” Jim Jennewein , striking Hollywood screenwriter, who is pitching publishing houses as the Writers Guild strike drags on

" No one is perfect. " Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, on the death of the former dictator Suharto, whose political purges targeted hundreds of thousands of citizens in the 1960s

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Micheal Vasquez”

" This frog … was quite voracious. It ’ s even conceivable that it could have taken down some hatchling dinosaurs. " David Krause, paleontologist at New York’s Stony Brook University, whose team discovered the fossil of a fanged devil toad the size of a bowling ball in Madagascar

" I have fallen into the habit of not drinking at midday on workdays. " An unnamed Chinese official, lamenting a ban on lunchtime boozing in Hunan province

" We will not rest until Kosovo is again under Serbia ’ s control. " Tomislav Nikolic, ultranationalist Serbian leader, who accused the E.U. of trying to steal Kosovo and has egged on rioters protesting Kosovar independence

" If the paintings could speak, they would tell the real story. " Isaac Herzog, Israel’s minister of the Diaspora, on a joint Israeli-French show featuring art looted by the Nazis, with the aim of identifying former owners

" When you have a product like Prada or Dolce & Gabbana, you are not supposed to use illegal workers. " Andrea Calistri, a third-generation Italian handbag-maker, who is having to compete with an influx of cheap Chinese labor in Tuscan leather factories

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Elizabeth Bouchard”

“Think potato, grow potato, eat potato.” The slogan for a recent potato festival in Dhaka, Bangladesh, where the government is trying to get the population to adopt the humble spud in place of pricier diet staples like rice and wheat

" There I was bleeding, and they were talking about what was going to be the line to the press. " Cherie Blair , wife of former British prime minister Tony Blair, writing in her new autobiography about her miscarriage in 2000 that forced a canceled trip abroad. Blair’s press secretary leaked the news to avoid panic that the P.M. was staying home to invade Iraq.

" Why should we not talk about an ’ extraterrestrial brother ’ ? It would still be part of creation. " The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the head of the Vatican Observatory, conceding the possibility of alien life forms in an interview with the church’s official newspaper

" This is the first time beer has taken priority over a child. " Australian constable Wayne Burnett, on the arrest of a driver who had buckled up his load of beer—but not his 5-year-old son—for a trip across the Outback

" I voted for Bush in 2000 and 2004. And not only that, far more important than a vote, I campaigned everywhere in America for him … I did everything I could to get him elected and re-elected president. " Republican presidential candidate John McCain, disputing a claim by blogger Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post that he’d told her he didn’t vote for George W. Bush in 2000

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Tyrone Perez”

“Don’t let Grandma hear it.” U.S. soldier Stephen Phillips, whose cell phone redialed home during a firefight in Afghanistan and broadcast the chaos onto his parents’ answering machine

“They are trying to outfox us. They aren’t willing to give up territory to humans.” Kazuhide Kyutoku, deputy chief of Japan’s Kyushu Electric safety group, on the flocks of crows that are taking over parks, causing blackouts and stealing ducklings from Tokyo zoos

“I’m not going to put my lot in with the economists.” Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, on “This Week With George Stephanopoulos,” where she was asked to name a single economist who agrees with her temporary gas-tax-holiday plan

“Old-school objections to golf on ideological grounds have fallen away.” Mark Entwistle, a former Canadian ambassador to Cuba, on President Raúl Castro’s new embrace of the “capitalist” sport

“This is our ticket back in time, to when all mammals laid eggs.” University of Oxford researcher Chris Ponting, whose team recently decoded the DNA of the duck-billed platypus. The animal’s genome is a unique mixture of mammal, reptile and bird.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Jon Britten”

“It makes the cars smell like a kitchen — you feel like falafel is following you.” Ahmed al-Beltaji, a Gaza falafel-stand owner who is selling used cooking oil to gasoline-starved drivers for fueling their vehicles

“I’m even selling my bulletproof car, that’s how bad it is.” Jean-Marie Le Pen, leader of France’s far-right National Front, on putting his armored Peugeot on eBay in order to pay party debts

“Rome is beginning a new phase.” Gianni Alemanno, the first rightist politician to be elected the city’s mayor since World War II

“The market wants growth, growth and growth.” Paul Sankey, a Deutsche Bank analyst, explaining why Exxon-Mobil shares fell 5 percent after announcing a first-quarter profit of $10.9 billion, its second highest quarterly profit ever

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Ivan White”

“I’m going to send my 95-year-old mother to just go over and wash Chuck Norris’s mouth out with soap.” GOP candidate John McCain, responding to the film star’s accusations that the 71-year-old senator would be too old to handle the executive office

“Now every time I walk into a Metro station I feel very uncomfortable.” An unnamed Shanghai man whose kiss with his girlfriend in Youyi Road subway station was furtively taped by employees and uploaded to YouTube. The couple plans to sue the Shanghai Metro Co.

“He was starting to work on a small portfolio. He’s more of a shy person than an extrovert.” A banker at France’s Société Générale, speaking about a trader whose unauthorized investments lost his employers $7.2 billion

“Your video may well be the best thing that has ever happened to her. For all the hurt and pain, it may finally … convince her to get the help she needs to quit.” Amy Winehouse’s father, Martin Winehouse, speaking to the British tabloid The Sun about a leaked tape of the Grammy-nominated star smoking what appeared to be crack cocaine in her East London home

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “Bethany Mccoy”

" I can imagine it going another $5 to $10 from here. " Gerrit Zambo, an oil trader, speaking about $100-per-barrel oil prices

" On the Chinese mainland, it was money and technology that took the honors last year. " The China Daily, reporting that, in 2007, “sex” fell far behind other Google search strings like “stocks” and bank names

" We will have to look into what is in the law. " Antonio Nunes, the cigar-smoking head of Portugal’s food-standards agency, who was caught on camera at a New Year’s party violating his country’s new smoking ban

" For all these years, we ’ ve been living together. Why are we fighting now? " Stanley Mania, a Kenyan shopkeeper, on ethnic conflict following the contested presidential election

" That s.o.b. on the cell phone is slowing you down and making you late. " David Strayer, a University of Utah psychology professor whose research blames cell-phone usage for traffic slowdowns

" She was a fun-loving tiger who would greet you when you came. " Susan Pettitt, a patron of the San Francisco Zoo who came to “mourn the death of Tatiana,” the tiger that escaped and mauled three people

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Steve Mcalpin”

" Having a physical, archival high-fidelity master recording … is significantly better than just purchasing zeros and ones. " Atlanta record store owner Eric Levin, on why Radiohead’s new album was the top seller in the U.S. last week, even though the band has offered it free online since October

" One brave boy saved the president ’ s life. " Maldives state spokesman Mohammed Shareef, on the 15-year-old Boy Scout who thwarted a knife-wielding assassin’s attempt to kill President Maumoon Gayoom

" A few minutes ago, I was covered with snowflakes. In my hair, on my shoulders. I invite all the people to enjoy peace, because the snow means peace. " Hassan Zahar, 60, on January 11, when Baghdad saw its first recorded snowfall

" To put it bluntly, it sounds as though the telecoms believe it when the FBI says the warrant is in the mail but not when they say the check is in the mail. " Former FBI agent Michael German, on telephone companies’ cutting FBI wiretaps due to unpaid bills

" Hell ’ s Kitchen has a rich history, but this is one for the books. " NYPD spokesman Paul J. Browne, on the case of two men who wheeled a corpse to a check-cashing store on Ninth Avenue to cash his Social Security benefits

Quotations sources from top to bottom: NYTimes.com (2), ABCnews.Go.com , In.Reuters.com, AP.Google.com, NYTimes.com

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Tanya Bishop”

" I live for the nights I will never remember, with the friends I will never forget. " Sean Rees, Wales’s latest teen suicide victim—the 19th since January 2007—writing on his page on Bebo, a social-networking Web site, before he hanged himself last week after a night out drinking with his buddies

" We are facing an extreme emergency. To understand what ’ s happening to Le Monde, it ’ s necessary to talk about the arrogance of newspapers. " Laurent Greilsamer, assistant managing editor of Le Monde, on the organization’s plan to lay off a quarter of its 600 employees. The paper hasn’t turned a profit in seven years.

" It ’ s easier for a terrorist to enter Europe than for a dope smoker to get inside a coffee shop. " Marc Josemans, chairman of the Maastricht coffee-shop association. Dutch authorities plan to put finger scanners in the cannabis-selling shops to ensure that no one buys more than five grams per day.

" Never will we accept in our profession that a judge decides if a young girl is skinny or not skinny. " Didier Grumbach, head of the French Federation of Couture, criticizing a proposed law in France that would penalize any form of mass communication—from fashion magazines to anorexia Web sites—that promotes an eating disorder

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Son Kuether”

“I have to ask, ‘What Cuban can pay a night in a hotel with a normal salary?’ " Tatiana, a Havana-based doctor, commenting on the government’s new policy to allow Cubans to stay in the country’s hotels, alongside foreign travelers

“They said that God had given them a signal to leave after the fourth partial cave-in.” Oleg Melnichenko, deputy governor of Russia’s Penza region, on 14 members of a doomsday cult who abandoned the underground bunker where they’d been hiding for half a year while awaiting the end of the world

“Palestinian businessmen import everything from China. I even get orders to send Chinese-made Palestinian flags and the Palestinian kaffiyehs.” Shyoukhi, an exporter in China’s eastern Zhejiang province, commenting on the growing trade relations between the two regions as Palestinians look for ways to circumvent Israel’s trade embargo

“We understand a lot of people will be highly reluctant to fill their fridges and freezers with dying cane toads, but at the moment that is the only humane way that we can recommend.” Michael Beatty, spokesman for Australia’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, commenting on a Queensland lawmakers’plan to allow residents to hunt and kill the imported amphibians, which are threatening local wildlife

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Lenora Mcneil”

" President Bush has an exit strategy for just one man: himself. " U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Nevada Democrat), criticizing the American leader’s reluctance to reduce U.S. troop levels in Iraq before leaving office next January

" This is horrible. They have a first-class line over here with no one in it, and they are not diverting anyone. " Hillary Dowe , a traveler stranded in Austin, Texas, after American Airlines canceled more than 1,000 flights—roughly half its schedule—to inspect a potentially faulty wiring system on its fleet of MD-80 jets

" Back at home, we sometimes run for five or six days, day and night … 26 miles? Not far. " Isaya, a Masai warrior who entered the London Marathon to raise money to find a clean water source for his home village

" She drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time. " Sabir Ali , pediatrician for a town northeast of Delhi where a baby born with two faces is being worshiped as an incarnation of the Hindu goddess Durga

" You ’ re not particularly happy to be here, are you, ma ’ am? " Attorney Preston Burton, questioning on the witness stand a call girl who worked in a D.C. sex ring, where clients included a U.S. senator, a deputy secretary of state and a top military strategist

Sources, top to bottom: AFP, BBC, CBS news, Reuters, A.P., U.K. Guardian

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Manuel Cook”

“Your appearances are very much alike. When going to meet Medvedev, I saw you on the television and felt at a loss as to who is who.” Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak, speaking to former Russian leader Vladimir Putin about his supposed resemblance to his handpicked successor

“His kinships are across the political spectrum.” Genealogist Christopher Child, commenting on findings that U.S. presidential candidate Barack Obama is distantly related to former presidents Lyndon Johnson, Harry Truman and both Bushes, as well as Veep Dick Cheney

“In the morning, in front of the shepherd hut, he saw this enormous metal casing, as smooth as an egg. It nearly crushed the outhouse.” Russian villager Marina Urmatov, whose brother Boris is suing Russia’s space agency for stress-related damages after metal from a passing rocket crashed into his yard

“They gather tusks like mushrooms after the rain.” Aleksei Tikhonov, director of St. Petersburg’s Zoological Museum, on Russian ivory hunters who are getting a boost as global warming softens the Siberian permafrost and exposes previously hidden woolly-mammoth skeletons

“These aren’t just swamp leeches … we are talking about highly trained medical leeches.” American actress Demi Moore, joking about a recent bloodletting treatment as part of an Austrian spa’s detox plan

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Carmen Alvarez”

“I shot down Exupéry.” Former Luftwaffe fighter pilot Horst Rippert, revealing that he believes himself responsible for the death of France’s author of “The Little Prince,” during a dogfight in July 1944

“We have these conflicts where no one really wants to get involved, powerful countries with means will not touch it with a barge pole, they will support weak, ineffectual initiatives by others … to create the impression of action.” Former United Nations secretary-general Kofi Annan, recommending that the U.N. peacekeeping force resist taking on new engagements as long as major powers fail to provide necessary support

“These 17 people seem to have the life sucked out of them.” Piyush Mordia, Uttar Pradesh police chief, on a raid that found captive migrant workers who were held in a farmhouse and forced to give blood to supply nearby hospitals

“New Life for Sale!” Listing for Australian philosophy student Nicael Holt’s online auction, which promised his name, phone number, job, social circle and worldly possessions to the highest eBay bidder

“What wonderful fiction … any historian will tell you that it’s virtually impossible to prove ancestry through the Middle Ages.” Dr. Katie Stevenson,medieval-studies scholar at Scotland’s St Andrews University, on recent claims by Sen. John McCain that he’s descended from the warrior-king Robert the Bruce

Quotation sources, top to bottom: Xinhua News Agency; Le Figaro Magazine; New York Times; BBC, Independent, U.K.; U.K. Guardian

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Peggy Carr”

“I was passing through Heathrow airport, and I spoke to the manager of the toilets there. He’s an educated man, and he told me there was a lot of money to be made in that line of work.” Otunba Olusegun Rwusewe , director-general of the Nigeria Tourism Development Corp., on a new plan to install pay Porta Potties at markets, transportation hubs and festivals

" It will be a good opportunity for Western music to be understood better by Koreans. " An unnamed North Korean official, on reports that his country has extended a concert invitation to Eric Clapton—an alleged favorite of Kim Jong Il’s son—in the wake of the New York Philharmonic’s historic Pyongyang appearance

" Si pu ò fare. " Campaign slogan of Italian prime-ministerial candidate Walter Veltroni, translating the popular rallying cry “Yes, we can” of American Sen. Barack Obama

“Fifty-two, that’s not even a breakfast for me.” Mohammed Hamid , who last week was found guilty of running terrorist-training camps in Britain, on the number of people killed in London’s July ‘05 terror attacks carried out by his pupils

" It ’ s bizarre … I ’ m out here now, haven ’ t really had a shower for four days, haven ’ t washed my clothes for a week and everything seems completely normal. " Britain’s Prince Harry, on his Army deployment in Afghanistan. The British Ministry of Defense pulled Harry off the front lines after media outlets broke an embargo to keep his service situation secret.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Lillian Dodge”

“The Animal Health Department should take some samples, conduct tests and see how dangerous the hamsters in Vietnam really are.” Vietnamese Agriculture Ministry official Nguyen Thanh Son,speaking about a ban on the pet due to fears that it could spread disease

“I don’t know how somebody who is in second place is offering the vice presidency to someone who is in first place.” Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, on comments by rival Hilary Clinton about the possibility of a joint ticket, with the Illinois senator in the veep slot

“Invincible Ugly Woman.” China’s translation of the hit American sitcom “Ugly Betty,” which is slated to be adapted by Hunan satellite television later this year

“I didn’t know the Army had anything left to sell. I thought it had all been stolen long ago.” An unidentified Russian Army officer, commenting on the military’s plan to raise money by auctioning off mansions, land and even whole towns in its possession

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Denise Johnson”

Gennifer Flowers’s response to Larry King, who asked what may have motivated President Clinton to have an alleged sexual affair with Monica Lewinsky, a former White House intern

“I didn’t pay this guy, by the way.” White House spokesman Mike McCurry, joking at a press briefing after one reporter implied that Linda Tripp was an “operative” of the Bush administration and that independent prosecutor Kenneth Starr “is playing the role of the grand inquisitor” in the latest Clinton sex scandal

“By the time the president is packing his bags and waiting for the helicopter on the South Lawn, the markets will already have anticipated and discounted it.” New York University business-school professor Lawrence J. White, on how Wall Street might respond to presidential-impeachment proceedings

“It turns out that the fate of the peace process depends on a different woman.” Israeli journalist Nachum Barnea, noting that the success of the Middle East peace talks may not hinge on Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, but on Monica Lewinsky

“There is a great story here. It may turn out to be a history-making event.” CBS News anchor Dan Rather, boasting early last week of the comprehensive coverage his network planned for the papal visit to Cuba. By the end of the week, CBS and the other networks had mostly pulled out of Havana and descended on the White House.

“He said to be quiet, and the people obeyed. Look around, they don’t have a choice.” A young Cuban catechism teacher, on Fidel Castro’s request that crowds attending Pope John Paul II’s masses refrain from shouting revolutionary slogans

“My occupation, I suppose, now is jail inmate.” Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski, responding matter-of-factly to a court question regarding his current profession

“I only apologize for my sins before God.” South Africa’s last hard-line apartheid president, P. W. Botha, on defying three subpoenas to appear before the country’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission

“Let them use my frequent-flier miles on their train ride into Hades.” Anti-abortion activist Randall Terry, on the National Organization for Women Legal Defense and Education Fund, which has asked 13 major airlines to freeze his frequent-flier credits and transfer them to the NOW fund. The group claims the credits are part of a $500,000 court judgment it’s due.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Marsha Brown”

President Clinton, in response to Chinese President Jiang Zemin’s statement that China has only 115,000 lawyers

““I have apologized to the England players and management, and I want every England supporter to know how deeply sorry I am.’’ England World Cup midfielderDavid Beckham(and Spice Girl fiance), after being sent off the field in an elimination match against Argentina

““It’s a feeling that’s like the day I got married, the day my children were born and the day I first had sex rolled into one!’’ Alberto Berrucci,54, an Argentine cellular-phone salesman, celebrating his team’s World Cup victory over England

““He’s better than our guys. He is willing to talk about anything–pollution, human rights, anything goes.’’ Shanghai dump-truck driverLuo Zhigang, on Clinton, who last week wrapped up his state visit to China

““I was absolutely drained for two days. It was really sad to see this little girl running around and to know what happened to her when she grew older.’’ Charles, Earl Spencer, on the anguish of editing home movies of his sister Princess Diana, for the memorial museum that opened this week at the family estate, Althorp House

““I’m embarrassed to be here.’’ Lindy Jamieson, a secretary who had visited the Diana museum at the request of a friend

““Go ahead, take everything I own; take my dignity. Feel good as you grow fat and rich at my expense; sucking my tax dollars and property.’’ From a 1993 letter Oklahoma City bomberTimothy McVeighwrote to the Department of Defense Finance and Accounting Service in response to a request that he return $1,058 he had been overpaid in salary

““It was like two cement blocks hit me.’’ Paul Shimkonis,on a suit he filed against Clearwater, Fla., topless bar Diamond Dolls, for injuries he claims to have sustained at his bachelor party two years ago in an encounter with generously proportioned stripper Tawny Peaks

““We didn’t want her to look like she had come from the hairdresser.’’ HairstylistBulent Bozdemir, on a pre-grand-jury session for Clinton sex-scandal figure Linda Tripp, whose hair was less than salon-perfect on her first day of testimony

““It is hard to understand how this is serving any useful purpose to God or to politics.’’ The Rev.John O’ Sullivan,pastor of a Roman Catholic church in the hamlet of Aldergrove, near Belfast, on last week’s arson attacks on 10 churches in Northern Ireland

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Gail Simonelli”

WE ARE TAKING WHAT IS OURS. A slogan Indonesian farmers carved into the fairway of a golf club to protest the meager compensation they received when the land was taken from them to build the course

““On a big screen, seeing wrinkled lips kissing wrinkled lips, it’s not as appealing. We older wrinkled-lips people have other things to do–like being wise.’’ Jane Fonda,on what she thinks of aging male stars playing opposite much younger women

““It’s the first meat I’ve eaten in years.’’ Welsh TV anchorJonathan Hill,who swallowed a fly that flew into his mouth while he was on the air. Hill is a vegetarian.

““Kids seem to want to do work that’s more in tune with a career. Maybe they prefer carpal tunnel syndrome to sunburn.’’ New York Deputy Parks Commissioner Alan Moss,on the lifeguard shortage that may leave one third of the city’s beaches closed

““People are not debris to be swept up for a visitor.’’ White House national-securityadviser Sandy Berger, criticizing the detention of several Chinese dissidents in connection with President Clinton’s visit

““I am a much better person today than the one you sentenced. I promise you, you won’t be sorry.’’ Whitewater figureSusanMcDougal,to the Arkansas judge who granted her an early release from prison for health reasons

““We just wanted the film treated in a dignified manner. The money issue has always been secondary.’’ Henry Zapruder,heir to the Zapruder video of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. The family, which is asking the government for $18.5 million for the original, will make copies available to the public next month for $19.98.

““I have done my bit. I don’t think I am going to do any more for several years. I am going to try to keep my foot on the floor and out of my mouth.’’ Sen.John McCain,on why he wouldn’t tell jokes at the roast of former White House spokesman Marlin Fitzwater. McCain made a tasteless attempt at humor at a GOP fund-raiser three weeks ago.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Devin Pickrell”

““What’s a Muppet?’’ House Majority Leader Dick Armey, after Speaker Newt Gingrich complained that smoking is so prevalent in movies that even one of Jim Henson’s Muppets has been seen puffing a stogie

““All I want is for it to go away. I can’t get caught, I mean I really can’t, can’t.’’ Amy Grossberg, in a letter to her boyfriend Brian Peterson, while she was pregnant with their child. Grossberg was sentenced to 30 months in prison last week, and Peterson to two years, for contributing to the death of the baby boy whom the couple secretly delivered in a Delaware motel room in 1996 and abandoned in a Dumpster.

““I’m terribly sorry, but would you mind if my wife and I butted in? The thing is, I’ve got to go and see the queen at 6 o’clock.’’ British Prime Minister Tony Blair, to other parents waiting on line for parent-teacher meetings at the London Oratory school, which two of his children attend

““It’s all insured. We’ll redo it. Make it even better.’’ Floridian Ed Callahan, looking to the bright side after his house was destroyed by recent wildfires

““You’re supposed to go by the law, and I don’t think any person involved in the law who looked at that trial and looked at some of the rulings would say it was legal.’’ O. J. Simpson, on his decision to appeal the $33.5 million wrongful-death judgment against him awarded to the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman

““I’d be happy to give him [oral sex] just to thank him for keeping abortion legal.’’ Former Time magazine White House correspondent Nina Burleigh, discussing an article in Mirabella magazine in which she recalled a willingness to be ““ravished by the President’’ after playing hearts with him on Air Force One

““Freedom of speech is when you talk.’’ Los Angeles Dodgers general manager Tommy Lasorda, explaining to a congressional committee why the First Amendment should not protect flag burning

““When Sunday loses its fundamental meaning and becomes merely a part of a weekend, it can happen that people stay locked within a horizon so limited that they can no longer see the heavens.’’ Pope John Paul II, in a 95-page apostolic letter reminding Roman Catholics to attend mass

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Carl Crowl”

““The world requires an end to this mawkish nonsense. Most of the time Europeans like to poke sticks through the bars at the United States. It makes us feel important. We only realize how much we need you when things go wrong, like now.’’ Christopher Patten,the last British governor of Hong Kong, on whether the Lewinsky scandal has affected President Clinton’s ability to conduct foreign policy

““It makes me want to throw up.’’ German ChancellorHelmut Kohl,on the televised airing of Clinton’s grand-jury testimony

IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE AN IDIOT. Sign held by a protester greeting Hillary Rodham Clinton during a Democratic campaign stop in Colorado

““My greatest sin was to challenge Dr. Mahathir. He’s old. He’s senile.’’ Malaysian oppositionleaderAnwar Ibrahim, of the sex scandal that has engulfed his political career and sabotaged his election bid against Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad

““You read what Disraeli had to say . . . I don’t remember what he had to say. He said something. He’s no longer with us.’’ Former senatorBob Dole, on the challenge of keeping a politician’s private life separate from his public life

““There’s one regret I’ve had throughout my life–that I never became the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. I would like my friend, Evander Holyfield, to know that today I feel like the heavyweight boxing champion of the world.’’ South African PresidentNelson Mandela,after becoming the first African ever to receive the Congressional Gold Medal

““While we have every sympathy with Mr. Rushdie’s difficulties with overseas travel, our ultimate responsibility is the safety of our passengers and staff.’’ British Airways spokesmanBruceTobin, on the airline’s continued policy of not allowing Salman Rushdie to fly on its planes, despite Iran’s assurance that it will not carry out its death sentence against the author

““Bomb Afghanistan? Where?’’ An Iranian government official, on the difficulty of waging war against Afghanistan’s Taliban militia

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Randall Inman”

““I just want Starr to show up in a big chiffon dress, and have a fit in the thing, and we can all get his deal.’’ Sharon Stone,on the independent counsel

““When we throw somebody out of this club, we give them a hearing.’’ Thomas Cuthbert,head of the Army-Navy Country Club’s board of governors, on a motion to suspend Clinton’s membership until the Lewinsky scandal investigation is complete

““I can say we climbed the foothills. We still have a very large mountain to scale in Washington.’’ Israeli Prime MinisterBenjamin Netanyahu,who discussed the possibility of a peace deal with Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat at an impromptu lunch

““I don’t want to continue with this job if I don’t have to.’’ New York City taxi driverMohammad Rahman,after hitting two cars and striking a pedestrian during his second day behind the wheel of a cab

“”… Supermodels, with legs up to their shoulders … kept coming up and praising me. I said to my wife, “If this had happened 30 years ago, I’d be dead of whisky and fornication’.’’ WriterFrank McCourt,on his newfound fame as a Pulitzer Prize winner

““It is difficult to act as a great power when you constantly beg for aid.’’ Georgi Arbatov,foreign-policy expert and former adviser to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, on Russia’sworsening economic state

““It’s not the water, it’s the belief you have in it.’’ C. B. Gibsonof the United House of Prayer for All People in Charlotte, N.C., on the baptism of 2,000 people by fire hose with help from church elders and firefighters

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Sophia Casas”

“Life has been normalized. Serbia has thwarted the secessionists.’’ Serbian Prime MinisterMirko Marjanovic,speaking at a special session of the Serbian Legislature on the topic of peace in Kosovo

“Did you think Saddam Hussein was going to join the Boy Scouts?’’ Arizona Sen. JohnMcCain,asking Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Henry Shelton why the Joint Chiefs only recently stressed the severity of U.S. military unpreparedness, which they say has been developing for years

“Whoever gets the interview, God help you with your struggle.’’ Oprah Winfrey,who passed up the first exclusive interview with Monica Lewinsky after Lewinsky’s representatives implied that she should be paid somehow for her appearance

“Fortunately for me, I have no integrity.’’ Comedian and talk-show hostRoseanne, on offering Lewinsky more than $1 million to appear on her show

“We would rather be popular than unpopular, but it is better to be unpopular than wrong.’’ Prime MinisterTony Blair, to members of his ruling Labour Party, some of whom expressed concern with the difficult decisions facing the party in the future

“The difficulty now is trying to convince you . . . that what you are being told is the truth. You cannot believe you are being told the truth because for the last 20 years you probably haven’t been.’’ Prince Andrew, telling reporters from The Sun that palace attendants and royal spokesmen ““routinely’’ lied to the press for two decades

“Sometimes not knowing the answer–even though that puts you in a tough position, too–is better than consciously misleading people.’’ Clinton Press SecretaryMike McCurry,during his final press briefing, defending his strategy of deliberately not asking the president about the Monica Lewinsky scandal

“We fly sugar, which can be used for cake, but that doesn’t mean we’re flying a cake.’’ Nachman Klieman,spokesman for Israel’s airline, El Al, on reports that an El Al cargo plane that crashed in Amsterdam six years ago was carrying a chemical that can be used in the manufacture of the deadly nerve-gas sarin

“I should like to repeat, there is no program of any kind.’’ Russian Prime MinisterYevgenyM. Primakov,on the ongoing deliberations surrounding a rescue plan for Russia’s economic crisis

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Raul Castillo”

““It’s a good sound.’’ Albanian woodcutterBajram Hila, on NATO warplanes flying overhead during military exercises near Kosovo

““Pepsi and Coke are the pride of America . . . their spinal cord. We have to break this.’’ Anil Jha, on protests by Hindu activists who oppose the U.S. sanctions against India that followed their nation’s nuclear tests. Anti-American vandalism has included dumping U.S. soft drinks and torching a Baskin-Robbins ice-cream shop.

““As the wall of mistrust comes down, we can develop with the Islamic republic, when it is ready, a road map leading to normal relations.’’ Secretary of StateMadeleine K. Albright,on resuming U.S. relations with Iran

““From time to time in my metro column, to create the desired impact or slam home a salient point, I attributed quotes to people who didn’t exist.’’ Award-winning journalistPatricia Smith, in her final column in The Boston Globe, which demanded her resignation for fabricating people and quotations

““It’s the outcome that matters, not the process. If you are out-come-driven, you have to break some crockery. I try to do better as time goes along.’’ Newly appointed U.S. Ambassador to the U.N.Richard C. Holbrooke, on his diplomatic style

““I hope the senators who derailed this bill today lose sleep every night listening to the sound of children taking their first puff and the sound of emphysema and cancer patients gasping for their last breath.’’ Dr. C. Everett Koop,after the Senate dropped the tobacco bill

““There are all kinds of addictions . . . that are wrong. But you should try to work with that person to learn to control that problem.’’ Sen. Trent Lott,whose comparison of homosexuality to problems such as alcoholism, kleptomania and ““sex addiction’’ drew criticism from the White House and gay-rights groups

““We just acted like nobody was there and everything went fine.’’ Gilbert, husband of the woman identified only as Elizabeth, who gave birth to a 7-pound 8-ounce baby last week in front of thousands of Internet viewers in what is being billed as the first live broadcast of a birth

““Michael Jordan is much more famous than Clinton here.’’ Cheng Qian,a student at Beijing University

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Caroline Pham”

““Let’s see if the top people also eat grass.’’ Pakistani construction workerNoor Mohammad,echoing the 1965 phrase made famous by former prime minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, who declared that his countrymen would ““eat grass and leaves’’ to pay for a nuclear bomb if India built one first. Pakistan today faces sanctions and bankruptcy stemming from its nuclear-weapons program.

““No wonder so many women have claimed to have had affairs with him.’’ A caption accompanying a portrait of Bill Clinton with outstretched hands in ““Clinton: A President of Strong Desires,’’ a Chinese book that officials ordered stores to remove in anticipation of the president’s visit

““Mr. Clinton, sir, Americans didn’t trust you with our health-care systems, and Americans didn’t trust you with gays in the military, and we don’t trust you with our 21-year-old daughters. We sure, Lord, don’t trust you with our guns.’’ ActorCharltonHeston, in a speech before the National Rifle Association before he was inducted as president of the gun lobby

““Modern Europe will not tolerate the full might of an army being used against civilian centers.’’ British Foreign SecretaryRobin Cook, on the Serbian campaign to suppress ethnic Albanian rebels in Kosovo

““America please pray for us.’’ A sign in Jasper, Texas, where three white men allegedly chained a black man to a truck and dragged him to his death

““You cannot afford to disappoint us, because a dismal outing will further depress the national mood.’’ Nigerian military leader Gen. Abdulsalam Abubakar,in a message to the Nigerian World Cup team representing Africa in France this week

““If anyone’s pants fall down while shaking hands with the president, I can’t imagine the Post not covering it.’’ Jim Dickson,of the National Organization on Disability, commenting on criticism The Washington Post received for reporting that a disabled guest accidentally dropped his pants while shaking hands with Clinton at a state dinner for South Korean president Kim Dae Jung

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Pearl Morton”

“I invited her, I paid for her to come. And now she’s dead.” Linda Picco,upon learning at Geneva’s Cointrin airport that her sister was among those to die on the Swissair flight

“I have an obligation to my parents, my brothers and my whole family who perished in the war.” Seventy-year-oldGerry Blumenfeld, a plaintiff in a class-action lawsuit against Volkswagen by Holocaust survivors who were forced to work as slave laborers

“President Yeltsin is pushing the nation to a civil war.” Russian Communist Party leaderGennady Zyuganov,on Boris Yeltsin’s continued support of Viktor Chernomyrdin’s nomination to be prime minister

“We, as individuals with high moral character, would prefer not to meet a person who still can’t sort out his relationship with his secretary. In the traditions of Russian society, in such situations, one divorces the old wife and marries the secretary.” Russian ultranationalistVladimirZhirinovsky,telling the Russian Parliament that President Clinton should stay home

“People here are so rich, they’re still rich.” Betsy Threshie,on how the wealthy denizens of Greenwich, Connecticut, weathered last week’s huge stock-market losses

“Morally, I think it’s wrong. At least with an abortion it makes you think about it.” SharonMadden,who opposes the emergency “morning after” birth-control pills approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration last week

“I’m having one now.” First LadyHillary Rodham Clinton,when asked at a Martha’s Vineyard clambake whether she’d ever had a stress test

“I deeply regret it. I’m dealing with the people I hurt the most. I’ll have nothing further to say about it.” White House spokesmanJoe Lockhart, on missing Air Force One’s departure from Moscow

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Joel Funk”

“I have never stopped leading this country in foreign affairs in this entire year, and I never will.” Clinton,responding to a reporter’s question on whether he has lost “all the moral authority to lead this nation or to conduct foreign affairs”

“Lou Reed, one of the fathers of the American underground . . . affected even the Czech lands with his works.” Czech PresidentVaclav Havel, in a statement explaining his request for Lou Reed to perform at a White House state dinner in his honor

“We’ll dance for stronger international currencies.” First LadyHillary Rodham Clinton, insisting that National Economic Council chairman Gene Sperling join her for a dance at the dinner

“All I can think of is here is this man, this hypocrite who broke up my family.” A 76-year-oldretiree,Fred Snodgrass, whose then wife, Cherie, had an affair with current House Judiciary Committee chairman Henry Hyde in the late 1960s

“The statute of limitations has long since passed on my youthful indiscretions.” Hyde, a 74-year-old Republican from Illinois, admitting to the relationship, which began when he was 41 years old

“Is there anybody here that just, almost for the practice of it, has a question about the health care of children?” Sen. Jay Rockefeller,Democrat of West Virginia, when reporters at a press conference on health-care reform asked only questions about the Lewinsky scandal

“While there has been much progress in eliminating racial discrimination, disparities and stereotypes, many challenges remain, and these challenges cannot be resolved overnight.” JohnHope Franklin, chairman of the advisory board for Clinton’s 15-month initiative on race, in a letter to the president accompanying the board’s report

“There is no crackdown. Whether it’s SOSA or MCGWIRE or a FOR SALE sign, we’ve got to enforce the law.” New York Police Department spokeswomanMarilyn Mode, after a motorist was ticketed for driving with an obstructed view when he wrote SOSA 63 on his rear windshield

“I didn’t want anybody to have any preconceptions about who I am.” Miss District of ColumbiaNicole Messina, who chose not to mention on her official Miss America Pageant biography that she spent four months in 1997 as a White House intern

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Wilma Williams”

President Bill Clinton, begging forgiveness at the White House prayer breakfast Friday

“This is personal, and not impeachable. The salacious allegations in this referral are simply intended to humiliate, embarrass and politically damage the president.” Clinton’s private attorney David Kendall, after the release of Independent Counsel Ken Starr’s report detailing 11 counts of possibly impeachable offenses

“David Kendall is not the one who will decide what is impeachable and what isn’t. It’s the House of Representatives.” Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Orrin Hatch

“This is not politics . . . This is not polling . . . This is not a witch hunt . . . This is a constitutional test.” House Democratic leader Richard Gephardt, who voted to release Starr’s report without granting Clinton an advance look, amid Democratic opposition

“Slow down, take a deep breath,” Newt Gingrich, advising the nation as he awaited delivery of the Starr Report

“He did it with such passion and with his eyes locked on me. He lied. Blatantly. He’s the third public man to do that to me. Nixon and Agnew lied to me, bluntly, boldly. And now Clinton.” Rev. Robert Schuller, of the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, Calif., from whom the president has sought spiritual guidance

“I’m not talking about anything.” Monica Lewinsky’s father, Dr. Bernard Lewinsky, from his home in Brentwood, Calif., after Starr’s report was released

“I guess we have to vote for ugly men for president in the future.” Washington resident Bettie Gerachis, who is rooting for Clinton despite the scandal

“We’re talking more about 62 home runs. I’d rather them identify with baseball.” Joh Lunn, principal of an Oklahoma City elementary school, on why teachers at the school aren’t discussing the Clinton affair with students

“It’s painful to see the leader of the free world go through a perpetual 12-step program.” Republican Rep. Peter King, of New York, on Clinton’s apologies

“We think a president who has affairs is charming.” Edwy Plenel, editorial director of the French newspaper Le Monde

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “James Mario”

“She kept it as a souvenir. How sick is that?” Book agentLucianne Goldberg, who advised Linda Tripp to record phone conversations with Lewinsky, on the dress the former intern claims bears physical evidence of a sexual encounter with President Clinton

“There’ll be the Pinto with the exploding gas tank, flammable pajamas, asbestos and breast implants, the whole history of medical malpractice.” Consumer advocateRalph Nader,on the Museum of American Tort Law he hopes to open in Winsted, Conn., his hometown

“Why sell drugs and risk a huge sentence, when you can make all kinds of money in telemarketing with less risk and a kiss if you get caught?” Barry F. Elliot,head of the Ontario Provincial Police’s Operation Phonebusters, on the growth of telemarketing scams

“In a world-title fight, if I hit an opponent and his eye fell out of his head, I’d eat it before he could pick it up and put it back in.” TV boxing analystBobby Czyz, explaining to New Jersey’s State Athletic Control Board how the “performance blackout” that sometimes affects fighters led former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson to bite Evander Holyfield’s ear during a 1997 bout

“Jesus would puke.” Rev. Nancy Jo Kemperof the Kentucky Council of Churches, on the state legislature’s decision after lobbying by some pastors to lift a ban on concealed weapons in houses of worship

“It’s not my house, and I could care less.” O. J. Simpson,on hearing that his former home in the Brentwood section of Los Angeles, from which he was evicted last year after defaulting on the mortgage, had been demolished by its new owner

“This is the best thing for the Republican Party here since they won the Civil War.” Roger Morris,a political writer in Santa Fe, N.M., on the growing popularity of the state’s Green Party, whose candidates tend to attract Democratic voters

“I wouldn’t feel right just sitting back and saying, “I want a new stadium’.” New York Yankees ownerGeorge Steinbrenner,who for years has demanded a new Yankee Stadium, indicating publicly for the first time last week his team’s willingness to help pay for one

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Tracy Alvarado”

Democratic political consultant Frank Mankiewicz,on why people are reluctant to discuss the seamier aspects of the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal

“I think a lot of this is prejudice against our state. They wouldn’t be doing this if we were from some other state.” First LadyHillary Rodham Clinton,in an interview with the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette last week, attributing the many investigations of the Clinton White House to an anti-Arkansas bias

“We have pulled out bodies with our bare hands. We are just like robots. We can’t have any feelings if we want to continue.” Meital Hallawi, a member of the Israeli team that helped rescue survivors from the rubble at the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya

“They do a nice job on these buggies now.” Former Kansas senatorBob Dole,admiring wife Elizabeth’s 62d-birthday present, a new, top-of-the-line, champagne-colored Chrysler Sebring convertible

“I thought we were going to shoot over their heads. We didn’t think anybody was going to get hurt.” Fourteen-year-oldMitchell Johnson,sentenced last week to a juvenile-detention center until he turns 21–the maximum penalty under Arkansas law–for killing a teacher and four students in a March schoolyard-shooting spree

“You can accuse me of sloppiness, and I plead guilty. You can accuse me of intellectual laziness, and I plead guilty. But plagiarism, no.” Boston Globe columnist Mike Barnicle, after the paper withdrew its request for his resignation and instead suspended him for two months without pay, for using jokes in a recent column similar to some found in a recent book by comedian George Carlin

“I just wanted a normal nose to match my face.” Paula Jones,who is appealing the dismissal of her sexual-harassment lawsuit against President Clinton, on her recent nose job

“Sure, records are made to be broken. But, honestly, I’d like to see Dad hang on to this one a little longer.” Roger Maris Jr.,on his father’s major-league record of 61 home runs in the 1961 season, expected to be broken this season

“I expected kids to clamor for it, but it was fun to watch grown men with their Beanie Babies. And you’d be surprised how many players have their own collections.” Mark Gorris, vice president of team services for Major League Baseball, on the Beanie Babies days many teams have held this year

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Catalina Parker”

“When I see you wearing this tie I’ll know that I am close to your heart.” Monica Lewinsky, when giving Clinton a necktie he then wore on her first day of testimony before Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr’s grand jury, according to a friend

“It’s fair to say this is not the best day of her life.” Marsha Berry, spokesman for First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, speaking the day after the president’s admission of infidelity

“I am proud of him because he is a great president.” Vice PresidentAl Gore, in a statement delivered from Hawaii, where he is vacationing with his family, after Clinton’s address

“The Constitution doesn’t give us the option of docking a president without pay for two months.” Former White House spokesmanJody Powell, on the all-or-nothing option facing Congress in an impeachment process

“It’s hard to know which to do first: scream, cry or take a shower.” A Philadelphia Daily News editorial on Clinton’s admission

“I didn’t elect him to be my husband. I only elected him to lead.” Ann DeLaney, former chair of the Indiana Democratic Party, on why she can disregard Clinton’ s moral failings

“According to the polls, 12 percent of the American public thinks that oral sex isn’t sex. I’m sure they’re just doing it wrong.” A popular Israeli joke, according to Tel Aviv’s Ma’ariv newspaper

“Today, we have struck back.” Clinton, announcing the missile attack on two alleged terrorist installations–a training camp in Afghanistan and a factory in Sudan said to produce chemical weapons–in response to the recent bombings of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania

“I especially want to know the reason for doing it now. I want to know what the evidence was.” Pennsylvania Sen.AllenSpecter,a Republican, questioning whether Clinton ordered the attack in an effort to distract attention from his domestic troubles

“I don’t think he’s that much of a dimwit.” Lina Fetter, an accountant from Morris Plains, N.J., suggesting that he did not

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Theodora Brown”

““I’d love to get him in the ring one time before he becomes president.’’ Hulk Hogan, on former pro wrestler Jesse (The Body) Ventura, governor-elect of Minnesota

““It’s time to rotate the crops.’’ Campaign slogan of Iowan Tom Vilsack, the surprise victor and first Democratic governor-elect in more than 30 years

““This is better any time than getting into the Hall of Fame.’’ Former major-league baseball player and Republican Kentucky Senator-elect Jim Bunning

"” “Here’s my grand-jury testimony–read it’.’’ An unnamed presidential adviser, suggesting a possible response by Clinton to the 81 questions sent to the president from the House Judiciary Committee

““The noise got impossibly louder, the ground began to shake and then, before we knew it, the mud was on top of us.’’ Nicaraguan Fausto Moreira Ruiz, on disastrous floods and mudslides resulting from Hurricane Mitch, claiming the lives of at least 9,000 people in Central America

““I just don’t see any use for it.’’ Viola Bevilacque, 87, on Babe Ruth’s first home-run baseball hit in Yankee Stadium 75 years ago, which was given to her husband as a prize in 1927 and will be put up for auction

““It’s less than I expected. I’m not charged at all with the Oklahoma City bombing. I can truthfully say if my sentence is 350 years, I don’t intend to serve.’’ Former Louisiana governor Edwin Edwards, who was indicted Friday on 28 counts of federal corruption

““When John Glenn returns from space, everybody dress in Ape Suits. We have six days in which to bury the Statue of Liberty up to her head.’’ An e-mail titled ““World’s Biggest Practical Joke’’ circulating around the Internet last week

““Why this sudden outpouring for geezers? I never feel sexy.’’ Harrison Ford, 56, on being named People magazine’s ““Sexiest Man Alive’’

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Arthur Dilsaver”

““It is only fair, in all sorts of ways, that he should now know fear.’’ British doctorSheilaCassidy,who said she was tortured by Chilean secret police, on the arrest of former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet

““This election is about next year’s TV schedule. If you want eight months of Monica Lewinsky, vote Republican. If you want it over quickly, vote Democrat.’’ Jody Severson, a Democratic political consultant, on this month’s U.S. elections

““We’re paying in blood and we’re not going to sit idly by and let it happen.’’ Yehudit Taylor, a Jewish settler and activist in the West Bank, vowing to oppose a peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians

““Is that really why you called?’’ Israeli Prime MinisterBenjamin Netanyahu,to Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who had called him at 2:15 Wednesday morning to wish him a happy 49th birthday

““There were times when I took my briefing book and threw it against the wall.’’ Mike McCurry,on his frustrations as White House press secretary

““Do I know what’s in this bill? Are you kidding? Only God knows what’s in this conference report.’’ West Virginia Sen.Robert Byrd,on the $520 billion, 4,000-page omnibus spending bill passed by the House of Representatives

““Remember our faces, Salman Rushdie. We will kill you.’’ Chant recited by members of Ansar e-Hezbollah, a hard-line Iranian group that opposes its government’s decision to disassociate itself from death threats made against British author Salman Rushdie

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Angela Lopez”

““I’d like to tell you I’m really, truly sorry for what I’ve done, OK?’’ Melissa Drexler,20, of Forked River, N.J., after receiving a 15-year sentence for killing her newborn baby at her high-school prom

““I do not dine with those who split infinitives.’’ University of Connecticut professorSamuelPickering,on the Oxford dictionaries’ end of the ban on splitting infinitives

““I have to be who I am. I can’t go out and gain weight . . . in order to be a better role model.’’ ““Ally McBeal’’ starCalista Flockhart,denying rumors that she has an eating disorder

““It’s really a stupid and jerky thing to do.’’ New York MayorRudolph Giuliani,criticizing a parachutist who jumped from the 86th floor of the Empire State Building and the 61st floor of the Chrysler Building

““Great, that’ll leave us with Dan Rather and a mop.’’ An unnamed CBS News employee, on word that the network will downsize its news division to help cover its $500 million commitment to broadcast National Football League games

““They were clamoring for it. [Readers] all said they wanted horoscopes.’’ Glamour magazineeditorBonnie Fuller,on her decision to add horoscopes and kill the politics column, due to a lack of news

““In a sense, the system worked, although it took some time.’’ Brooklyn, N.Y., Deputy DistrictAttorneyDennis Hawkins,on the release of Jeffrey Blake, who was exonerated in two killings after serving eight years in prison

““Tea is royal, it’s heritage. Coffee is Italian. It’s sexy, steamy.’’ London-based marketingconsultantAllyson Stewart-Allen, on efforts to revitalize the tea industry to combat the influx of gourmet coffee chains like Starbucks

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “David Sak”

David Bull, head of the British arm of Amnesty International, on Britain’s denial of Augusto Pinochet’s immunity claim

““They are killing our comrades, they are killing our friends. Do they want to stop us? Do they want to frighten us? It won’t work. I want to say this at the coffin of our comrade, absolutely clearly and absolutely firmly: they will not succeed.’’ Anatoly Chubais, former deputy prime minister of Russia, during his eulogy for assassinated Russian lawmaker Galina Starovoitova

““We’ve only seen planes on TV. I expected them to be big, but not this big.’’ Sobhi Shurar, a Palestinian student, at the opening of Gaza International Airport

““The law no longer works here.’’ Petrus, a money changer in Jakarta, where more than a dozen people were killed in recent riots

““I am not defending a dictator. I am defending the country.’’ Chilean Foreign Minister Jose Miguel Insulza Salinas, who flew to London in a bid to free Gen. Augusto Pinochet. The former dictator faces extradition on charges of torture.

““Like it or not, we the British and the Irish are irredeemably linked together. So much shared history, so much shared pain and now the hope of a new shared beginning.’’ British Prime Minister Tony Blair, in a speech before the Irish Parliament

““It’s not so easy for some to give up smoking for a day. It might be easier to visit a prison inmate.’’ Archbishop Crescenzio Sepe, a top Vatican official, on the various good works that will earn an ““indulgence’’ for the penitent. Pope John Paul II reaffirmed the widespread use of indulgences, which eliminate punishment on earth or in purgatory and have been out of favor since Martin Luther protested their sale in the 16th century.

““The things we usually write about are garbage incinerators. I don’t think we have ever seen such a mass of media representatives in a Boblingen courtroom.’’ Siegfried Dannecker, editor of the Boblingen Kreiszeitung, the town newspaper, on the media flap surrounding rapper Coolio’s arraignment on charges that he stole about $900 worth of clothes and assaulted a clerk at a local boutique

““Mrs. Thatcher was adorable with Denis, her husband, but she started flirting with Ronald Reagan–there was a little electricity there.’’ Lucky Roosevelt, Reagan’s chief of protocol, as quoted in a new book by London socialite Mona Bauwens

““I’ve got plenty of frailties.’’ Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, when journalist Diane Sawyer told him that ““people wonder if you understand human frailty’’

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Fred Norris”

Ahmed Salahat, outside the Amman hospital where King Hussein lay critically ill

““I never like to use the words “optimism’ and “Balkans’ in the same sentence, but I believe we have a very good process here.’’ Ambassador Christopher Hill, the top U.S. representative at the Kosovo peace talks

““I swear in front of my people that over this moribund Constitution, I will push forward the democratic transformations that are necessary so that the new republic will have an adequate Magna Charta for the times.’’ Hugo Chavez, Venezuela’s new president, improvising the oath at his inauguration

““There’s a thin line between being an artistic perfectionist and a barking loon.’’ Britain’s Punch magazine on reclusive director Stanley Kubrick, who is now suing the magazine for the comment, claiming Punch impugned his mental health

““God almighty, take the vote and get it over with.’’ Richard D. Llamas, shouting from the U.S. Senate gallery last Thursday. He was removed from the chamber and arrested.

““Nonracialism is not working in South Africa. The color of your skin once again is becoming a negative factor.’’ Former president of South Africa F. W. de Klerk, speaking to the Pretoria Press Club in Johannesburg

““We’ve got to sink “Titanic’ with this film, in the name of French pride.’’ Albert Uderzo, cocreator of the cartoon character Asterix, on the release of ““Asterix & Obelix Versus Caesar,’’ the most expensive French-language film production ever. Critics panned the heavily hyped feature, calling it ““dull’’ and ““annoying.’’

““We were like sheep. Wherever the shepherd led, we followed.’’ Iranian farmer Abil, on the 20th anniversary of the Islamic revolution, commenting on the leadership of Ayatollah Khomeini

““She is totally her father: a real authoritarian.’’ Suha Arafat, wife of Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, on their 3-year-old daughter, Zahwa

““We’ll use American money, but only if they put Evita on the $100 bill.’’ Antonio Gatti, an Argentine office assistant, on Argentina’s proposed currency switch

““I will happily die, rather than be forced to renounce what I believe.’’ Muntaga Tall, supreme Islamic leader of the Toucouleur people, on her refusal to abide by a new law in Senegal banning female genital mutilation

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “John Gray”

Connecticut Gov. John Rowland, telling a group of centrist Republican leaders that the party’s rightward shift has alienated most voters

““When they come, they will eat the fat ones first.’’ A billboard ad for an exercise club, featuring an alien’s leering face, that elicited protests from overweight San Franciscans

““I’m not paranoid; I’m not delusional. I’m normal.’’ Linda Tripp, announcing on ““Larry King Live’’ last week her belief that President Clinton’s friends are trying to kill her

““If there really were a moral majority out there, Bill Clinton would have been driven out of office months ago.’’ Conservative leader Paul Weyrich, president of the Free Congress Foundation, in a letter questioning whether conservatives have lost the power to influence politics

““That’s like saying you don’t like chocolate ice cream.’’ New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, asking how anyone could dislike pitcher Roger Clemens, for whom Steinbrenner traded away David Wells, who pitched a perfect game last year, and two other players

““This is not about the Second Amendment. This is about parents burying their children.’’ Suzann Wilson, whose 11-year-old daughter was killed in the Jonesboro, Ark., school shootings, confronting gun-rights advocates on the steps of the state capitol

““James is young and did not expect the reaction he got, but it is always foolish to make jokes about the Nazis.’’ Nicholas Coleridge, of Conde Nast UK, on British GQ editor James Brown, 33, who listed Nazi Field Marshal Erwin Rommel as one of the century’s most stylish men

““If you’re only going to have 10 rules, I don’t know if adultery should be one of them.’’ Media magnate Ted Turner, suggesting that the Ten Commandments be revised

““Perhaps someone ought to bring that up with Jane.’’ Catholic League president William Donohue, responding to Turner, who is married to Jane Fonda

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Mona Rickman”

Diego Ruiz, who could not find coffins for five family members who died in the Colombian earthquake that killed more than 900 people last week

““I admire all her hairdos. Personally, I’ve had the same one for the past 20 years.’’ Alice Starr, wife of Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, on Hillary Clinton

““We trust that you will find Jasper to be the warm, hospitable, God-centered town that we have all come to love.’’ A pamphlet in Jasper, Texas, where the trial began last week of a white man who allegedly dragged a black man to death behind his truck

““This is about gangs? Hmm, I guess America really does have social problems.’’ Chinese computer programmer Wang Jian, after hearing Washington’s National Symphony Orchestra perform works from ““West Side Story’’ in Beijing’s Great Hall of the People

““He stares at it and grins.’’ James Brown, on his friend Matthew Scott, who received the nation’s first hand transplant last week

““I’ll have to say I was moved by his concern for this prisoner.’’ Pro-death-penalty Missouri Gov. Mel Carnahan, who commuted a triple-murderer’s death sentence after an appeal from Pope John Paul II during his visit to St. Louis

““Do you think the pope liking your sausage gets you a special place in heaven?’’ ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer, interviewing a butcher asked to make Polish sausage for the pope

““Hey, this is bigger than the pope.’’ William Lipscomb, principal of Sousa Middle School in Washington, D.C., on Michael Jordan’s visit to the school last week

““I was delivered by God when he left.’’ Actress Linda Hamilton, on her pending divorce from ““Titanic’’ director James Cameron, whom she called a ““miserable, unhappy man’’

““My idea was to expose hypocrisy, but now if I released any more, it would just be to embarrass people.’’ Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt, who told NEWSWEEK last week that he is unlikely to expose any more Republicans whose sexual peccadilloes he’s uncovered

““Shall we go to the toilets and prove it?’’ Chess legend Bobby Fischer, after denying to a Hungarian radio interviewer that he is Jewish. The live broadcast was cut short when Fischer broke into an impromptu anti-Semitic tirade, prompting the confused host to ask, ““Aren’t you Jewish yourself?’’

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “William Hatten”

Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, thanking Chief Justice William Rehnquist for presiding over the impeachment trial

““I would thank them.’’ Linda Tripp, telling NBC’s ““Today’’ show how she would feel if someone did to her daughter what she did to Monica Lewinsky

““He is purple–the gay pride color; and his antenna is shaped like a triangle–the gay pride symbol.’’ The Rev. Jerry Falwell, issuing a ““parent alert’’ in his National Liberty Journal that Tinky Winky, a character from the popular children’s television show ““Teletubbies,’’ is a gay role model for impressionable children

““In all fairness to Jerry Falwell, it’s probably too sophisticated for him.’’ Openly gay Rep. Barney Frank, Democrat of Massachusetts, defending the program geared toward toddlers

“"[It is] common knowledge that it’s nearly impossible to even partially remove jeans from a person without their cooperation.’’ From a ruling by Italy’s Court of Cassation, the country’s highest criminal appeals court, holding that it is impossible to rape a woman wearing jeans

““I’m remembering now why I don’t go on vacation and why I usually drive.’’ American Airlines passenger Malini Biswas, who got stuck in Los Angeles en route from Australia to Boston last Thursday, when the airline was forced to cancel more than half of its flights due to a pilots’ work slowdown

““I was a survivor, alone in the world, who had to convince the world to look at the atrocities committed in my homeland.’’ Nobel Peace Prize winner Rigoberta MenchU, conceding that she mixed stories of other victims of Guatemala’s civil war with her own in her 1983 book, ““I, Rigoberta Menchu’’

““I’ll go from the idiot who spent $3 million on the crown jewel to the idiot who spent $3 million on a $5 ball.’’ ““Spawn’’ comic creator Todd McFarlane, who revealed himself last week as the anonymous purchaser of Mark McGwire’s 70th-home-run ball, on what will happen once McGwire’s record is surpassed

““I’m very different from the kind of person that the media have portrayed with the help of my brother and my mother.’’ Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, opening his book, ““Truth vs. Lies,’’ to be published this spring

““She was so brave. She is . . . well, she is a queen.’’ Jordanian Insaf Kadrasheh, after paying her condolences to the American-born Queen Noor, King Hussein’s widow

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Steven Barrera”

Diego Ruiz, who could not find coffins for five family members who died in the Colombian earthquake that killed more than 900 last week

““It is a puzzling prospect.’’ German Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer, on the planned relocation of his ministry to Hitler’s Reichsbank, where gold stolen from Jews was stored during WWII

““If they want their freedom, they are welcome.’’ Indonesian Foreign Minister Ali Alatas, announcing that Indonesia is willing to grant independence to the province of East Timor

““They probably scratched themselves.’’ Defense Minister Moven Mahachi of Zimbabwe, denying doctors’ reports of clear signs of torture on two journalists detained by military police after reporting on an alleged military-coup plot

““I admire all her hairdos. Personally, I’ve had the same one for the past 20 years.’’ Alice Starr, wife of Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, on First Lady Hillary Clinton

““This is about gangs? Hmm, I guess America really does have social problems.’’ Chinese computer programmer Wang Jian, after hearing the National Symphony Orchestra perform Leonard Bernstein’s ““West Side Story’’ in Beijing’s Great Hall of the People

““I don’t know what adjective I should use to describe what is happening now. It’s unimaginable to see what we are doing to ourselves.’’ Dr. Johnson Taylor, who, without humanitarian aid, had to operate without anesthetic during a two-week period in which a hospital in Freetown, Sierra Leone, recorded 2,768 deaths

““Shall we go to the toilets and prove it?’’ Chess legend Bobby Fischer, after denying a Hungarian radio interviewer’s suggestion that he is Jewish. The live interview was cut short after Fischer broke into an anti-Semitic tirade.

““I think arms merchants all over the world are queuing up to sell to them now.’’ A Western diplomat on ethnic-Albanian rebels in the Serbian province of Kosovo

““Hey, this is bigger than the pope.’’ William Lipscomb, principal of Sousa Middle School in Washington, D.C., on Michael Jordan’s visit to the school last week

““The best sperm is fresh sperm. It’s like ice cream and chocolate. The nearer it is to being manufactured, the better it is.’’ Richard Fisher, co-author of ““Making Babies,’’ recommending an April 9 date of conception for parents aiming to have a child born on Jan. 1, 2000

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-04” author: “Stephania Ishikawa”

Richard D. Llamas, shouting from the Senate gallery last Thursday. He was removed from the chamber and arrested.

““It’s not as exciting as a case I had on “The People’s Court’ involving a python that swallowed a Chihuahua.’’ Television judge Ed Koch, in real life former mayor of New York City, on the trial over which his judicial colleague William Rehnquist is presiding

““For the most part, they discuss what they saw on Turner Classic Movies.’’ Lawyer Bernard Kleinman, on what his client Ramzi Yousef, the World Trade Center bombing mastermind, talks about with Oklahoma City bomber Tim McVeigh during their joint exercise periods at the federal prison in Colorado they share with Unabomber Ted Kaczynski

““We’re going to buy that place, and I’ll be giving tours on weekends.’’ Former senator Bob Dole, who will expand his Watergate apartment by combining it with the unit next door, which has been vacated by its previous tenant, Monica Lewinsky

““We deeply regret and are profoundly saddened by the decision of People magazine to print a cover story featuring our daughter, Chelsea.’’ A statement from President Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton, condemning the magazine’s plan to run a feature on their daughter. People went ahead despite the White House protests.

““Yes, I would defend him. And I would win. Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz, telling a group of Yale Law School students that, if he had the chance, he would defend Adolf Hitler

““Speak what you perceive as the truth. If that’s outspokenness, that’s fine.’’ Sportscaster Tim McCarver, who was let go as New York Mets color commentator last week, on his philosophy of sportscasting, which many believe did not endear him to Mets management

““See what happens when you let men into the cabinet?’’ Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, after Health and Human Services Secretary Donna Shalala pointed out that the two women were discussing Kosovo policy while, nearby, Housing and Urban Development Secretary Andrew Cuomo was complimenting Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman on his shoes

““It looked like amateur porn with really good-looking women.’’ Wired magazine contributing editor David Bennahum, on last week’s much-advertised, live-via-Internet Victoria’s Secret fashion show

““He may think, “Well, since I’m not president now, I . . . can get rid of her or hurt her family.’’ Paula Jones, explaining to a British magazine her fears of postpresidential reprisals from Clinton

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Frank Kane”

“After landing. I realized that I was going to have to say something.” Neil Armstrong, reminiscing about his “one giant leap for mankind” line on the 30th anniversary of the first lunar voyage

“Don’t say anything! It’s too dangerous. There are informants everywhere.’’ Two residents of Islamshar warning another not to talk about the demonstrations in Iran last week

“It takes two to tango. I am ready.’’ Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, during a visit to the United States, on proposed peace talks with Syria

“I can be Tibetan with Tibetans and Chinese with Chinese. I’ve learned to hide.” Lan Qu, 29, the only Tibetan saxophonist in Lhasa, on living in Tibet today

“Look at the Russians. They have not helped us.” Gen. Nebojsa Pavkovic, the commander in southern Serbia, speaking to angry reservists in Vranje who have still not been paid for service in Kosovo

“The recriminations and criticism will pass. Put them behind you, and get back to work—work to build that trust, or solving your problems will remain impossible.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair in an appeal to both sides of the Northern Ireland peace process

“They just look at me as if I’m describing an alien land. I am.” A Russian businessman describing his children’s reaction to stories about the old Russia

“When people in the West say, ‘Why don’t you get rid of Milosevic?’ They act like it’s just that easy. We’re faced with situations which are not imaginable to the average Western European or American.” A Democratic Party organizer commenting on demands from the West that Serbians remove President Slobodan Milosevic from power

“I want to get humanity back on the moon–including myself.” Planetary scientist Alan Binder, director of Lunar Research Institute, on his ongoing efforts to develop technology that will return man to the moon

“This does not mean that if you’re highly educated, your brain will shrink.” Neurologist Steven DeKosky, on new evidence that people with higher education levels lose more brain cells as they grow older than those who are less educated

“The first thought I had was, ‘Oh, good!’ The second thought I had was, ‘Oh, no!’ " British civil servant David Chuter, upon winning theannual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a competition in bad writing

“I feel like I’m on ‘Baywatch’!” Hillary Rodham Clinton, surrounded by lifeguards on a Long Island beach during her New York state “listening tour”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Rebecca Logan”

“They took all of our things. Now it is our turn to take all of their things.” Albanian Peti Ajvazi, as she carried a dining table from a Serbian home

“We are not safe here.” Kosovar Serb Slavka Ristic, on why she and 100 other Serbs were leaving the village of Zegra with little more than what they could cram into cars and wagons

“Perhaps it takes a special kind of sensitivity to do what Diana did. The rest of us can only draw inspiration from it.” U.N. Secretary- General Kofi Annan, speaking of Princess Diana as he gave the first lecture for the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Lecture in London

“We’re not building this memorial for the Jews or for other victims. We’re building it for us.” Wolfgang Thierse, the Bundestag president, on the German Parliament’s recent decision to build a memorial for the Jewish victims of the Holocaust after 10 years of debate over how to pay tribute to the 6 million Jews killed by the Nazis

“I’ll never drink Coke again.” Fourteen-year-old Belgian Sasha Cockx, suffering from what physicians called “probable intoxication” after drinking the popular soft drink

“We don’t think the bank has any business diluting ethnic populations.” John L. Ackerley, the president of the International Campaign for Tibet, after the World Bank’s decision to proceed with a $160 million antipoverty loan that would resettle ethnic Chinese farmers in a traditionally Tibetan area

“I’m sorry. We were too late.” Bishop Teodoro Bacani, quoting Philippine President Joseph Estrada’s apology after busy phone lines prevented him from stopping the execution of a man convicted of raping his own daughter

“Most surfers they just spit out.” University of California expert Peter Kimley, on new research that proves the long-feared great white shark rarely eats humans

“Half the time they print crap, the other half they just make it up. You have a row in the supermarket and the next day you read you’re divorcing.” Mel G., a.k.a. Scary Spice, on tabloid newspapers

“I can assure you, it’s been a difficult few days at our house.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, after admitting that his wife failed to declare $19,000 worth of clothing and jewelry to U.S. Customs when she returned from a trip to Paris

“Fat cats, skinny cats, we like all cats.” Bush campaign spokesman David Beckwith, on publisher Steve Forbes’s charge that the Texas governor was “cozying up to Washington fat cats” in exchange for their financial support

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-12” author: “Numbers Mcclain”

“She’s such a character. In Japan, there are not so many women– none–who are so ambitious.” Osmau Sorimachi, of Japan’s Fuji television network, on Mrs. Clinton’s likely U.S. Senate campaign

“We were in the field and we could see that Serbian radio was telling us lies about the war. We believed BBC. And now we are not afraid.” Serbian reservist Vlada Djordjevic, 31,who served for 65 days in Kosovo, at an anti-Milosevic rally in Leskovac, Yugoslavia

“I’ve forgotten how to walk, how to talk.’’ Mohamed Beceri, a young ethnic Albanian in Mitrovica, Kosova, as he took his first steps outside his family’s apartment building in three months

“You Americans want to get rid of Milosevic? So do we. You get me a bridge.” Nenad Canak, a leader of the League of Social Democrats in Novi Sad, Yugoslavia, who wants to make a deal with the West to rebuild his country if Serbians can topple Slobodan Milosevic

“The Greens have to get rid of the image that they are against everything that is fun.” Cem Ozdemir, 33, one of the younger generation of Greens and a member of the German Parliament, commenting on the generational divide within the party

“I’m just very, very happy. I went so fast past the clock I didn’t know at first what I had done.” Moroccan long-distance runner Hicham el-Guerrouj, on breaking the world record for the mile with a time of 3 minutes 43.13 seconds

“[Barak] may not be the Messiah, but he’s the best thing Israel’s got.” Hirsh Goodman, vice chairman of The Jerusalem Post, on Israel’s new prime minister, Ehud Barak

“Nothing is more important than putting an end to the 100-year conflict in the Middle East.” Ehud Barak, speaking to the Israeli Parliament before his swearing in as Israel’s prime minister

“Let’s put it this way. It wasn’t as good as Disneyland.” American tourist Lawrence W. Goichman, referring to his visit to the Cu Chi tunnels, the 75-mile-long underground maze built by the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War

“Just because dolphins have a smile doesn’t mean they’re nonaggressive.” Dr. Amy Samuels, of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, discussing recent reports of injuries to humans who encounter dolphins in the wild

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Michelle Mcafee”

“This could turn into a political fiasco, and that’s not what the appropriate purpose of a city facility is for.” New York City Deputy Mayor Randy Levine, after Mayor Rudy Giuliani canceled Talk magazine’s debut party at the Brooklyn Navy Yard because Hillary Clinton was rumored to grace the cover

“This is the most tense their relationship has ever been. The president is very upset.” A Clinton adviser, on the repercussions of Vice President Al Gore’s public condemnation of the president’s relationship with Monica Lewinsky

“The deciding factor for us was that it seemed improbable that a person could be unconscious during that whole time.” Jury foreman Mike Riley, after convicting Scott Falater of first-degree murder despite Falater’s claim that he was sleepwalking when he stabbed and drowned his wife

“It’s a new sound to the great stadiums of the world. It’s higher pitched.” Event organizer Donnade Varona, in comparing the women’s World Cup with men’s sports

“I am speaking from the experience of being a former criminal!” Community activist Wallace (Gator) Bradley, during a Chicago city-council hearing, on why he is an expert on the subject of police brutality

“Most surfers they just spit out.” University of California, Davis, expert Peter Klimley, on new research that proves the long-feared great white shark rarely eats humans

“If a jerk burns a flag, America is not threatened, democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk.” Rep. Gary Ackerman, Democrat of New York, arguing against the need for a constitutional amendment that prohibits desecrating the American flag

“I can assure you, it’s been a difficult few days at our house.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, after admitting that his wife failed to declare $19,000 worth of clothing and jewelry to U.S. Customs when she returned from a trip to Paris

“The most expensive peaceful reconstruction is still cheaper than the cheapest war.” President Bill Clinton, on the cost of rebuilding war-torn Kosovo

“They took all of our things. Now it is our turn to take all of their things.” Albanian Feti Ajvazi, while carrying a dining-room table from a Serbian home

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Odessa Fox”

“Today is a proud moment: a new stage of a journey begun long ago.” Scotland’s first minister, Donald Dewar, in his speech opening the first Scottish Parliament in more than 300 years

“I got drunk last night and didn’t get any sleep, but it was worth it.” Actor Sean Connery, on how he spent the eve before the Scottish Parliament’s opening

“It would be a dreary world indeed if we all agreed on everything.” President Bill Clinton, on the possibility that Hillary Rodham Clinton and Vice President Al Gore, if elected, would disagree with his policies

“Berlin is welcome to them. They’re a load of good-for-nothings anyway.” Jurgen Stein, 40, an unemployed carpenter in Bonn, on the German Parliament’s move to Berlin after 50 years

“Nobody knows how long these talks will last.” A South African delegate on the ceasefire talks in Congo

“The road ahead is long and the obstacles many. But we have seen the birth of a new dawn.” Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, on the imminent change of government in Israel under Prime Minister-elect Ehud Barak

“I promised the Algerians during the election that I would make peace. I will make peace.” Algerian President Abdelaziz Bouteflika, elected in April, defending his plan to grant amnesty to some 5,000 political prisoners jailed for terrorist activities during seven years of fighting by Islamic fundamentalists

“We’re still engaged with them, but we have to put some northern ice in the middle of it.” Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, on the decision to cool relations between Cuba and Canada

“I didn’t know it went in until everybody started yelling and hollering.” Blind golfer Worth Delton, who sank a hole in one during a charity golf event benefiting the Foundation for Fighting Blindness

Twenty-one-year-oldof Brainerd, Minnesota, after winning $150 million in the multistate lottery Powerball

“They have promised me they’ll use a softer color, which will look more demure.” Ivana Trump, after complaining that the red lipstick on her statue in Madame Tussaud’s famed wax museum “made her look like a vamp”

“These poor people have my full sympathy and support. The bureaucracy is appalling. I just wanted to show solidarity with the long-suffering public and do something to ease their burden.” Mohamed Al Fayed, Egyptian-born owner of Harrods who has been waiting five years for a British passport, explaining why he arranged to provide free drinks for people waiting in a queue for a British passport, the backlog for which has climbed to 500,000

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Ian Hutchinson”

“There has to be a million theories about how this could happen. At this point, all we have is hate.” Chicago Police Department spokesman Patrick Camden, on what prompted admitted white supremacist Benjamin Nathaniel Smith’s alleged three-day shooting spree that left two people–and the gunman, who shot himself–dead

“How can I forget you, my son?” Shin-Ho Yoon, after visiting the apartment of his son, 26-year-old Won-Joon Yoon, one of the two men allegedly slain by Smith

“I ate too much.” Bill Clinton, after feasting on baby back ribs, catfish, steaks and potato salad during his four-day tour of America’s pockets of poverty

“What you will have here is a virginal version of Hooters.” Max Baer Jr., who played Jethro on “The Beverly Hillbillies” TV series and plans to feature waitresses dressed like the show’s Elly May at his $175 million hotel-casino

“He was not chewed up. He could have been pulled under by the whale’s vortex, or the whale may have considered him a toy.” Orlando, Fla., sheriff’s spokesman Jim Solomons, after a nude, dead body was discovered in the tank of SeaWorld’s killer whale

Listen, Hillary, go home A protester’s sign that appeared in the background on the first day of Hillary Rodham Clinton’s “listening” tour of New York state

“What’s the big deal? President Clinton did it.” Unidentified girl,active in an “oral-sex ring” that shocked parents and administrators at her Arlington, Va., middle school

“Anybody that’s taking $100 and signs a release better get their head examined.” Mayor Rudy Giuliani, disdaining an offer from Consolidated Edison to victims of food spoilage during New York City’s near-19-hour power outage amid record heat

“We must swallow it. We are not a people who have a choice.” Sierra Leone refugee Ousman Bangura, on the peace accord that promises to end a civil war between the government and the rebel movement that has divided the African country for eight years

“All measures were exhausted. And that’s when the decision to use nuclear weapons was made.” Russian Defense Minister Igor Sergeyev, on why Russia’s military carried out mock nuclear strikes last month

“I think she’s the checkout person at the market.” Attorney General Janet Reno, quoting a woman she overheard during a Fourth of July parade telling her husband why she thought Reno looked very familiar

“I’m not a journalist. I’m an Internet reporter. Everything I’ve learned about journalism I learned from the Internet.” Cybergossip Matt Drudge, on word that he would host a syndicated talk show on the ABC Radio Network

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Eric Lee”

“THEY’RE ALL TAKING IT RATHER WELL, KIND OF EXCITED. VACATIONERS, NEW EXPERIENCES–WHAT CAN I SAY?” JACOB NAYLOR, NIGHT MANAGER AT THE JOSHUA TREE HOTEL, WHICH LOST POWER IN THE WAKE OF A 7.0 EARTHQUAKE THAT ROCKED SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA LAST WEEK, ON HOW HOTEL GUESTS COPED WITH THE CRISIS

“WE SUSPECTED WHEN WE SET THIS COMMISSION UP THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOME DARK CHAPTERS IN OUR IMMEDIATE POSTWAR HISTORY.” STUART E. EIZENSTAT, A CLINTON ADMINISTRATION REPRESENTATIVE FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ADVISORY COMMISSION ON HOLOCAUST ASSETS IN THE UNITED STATES, ON ITS REPORT SHOWING THAT SOME AMERICAN TROOPS PLUNDERED A NAZI SHIPMENT OF GOLD, SILVER, PAINTINGS AND OTHER ITEMS BELONGING TO HUNGARIAN JEWS EXECUTED IN WORLD WAR II

“THAT’S WHAT AGENTS ARE FOR.” NEW YORK KNICKS GUARD LATRELL SPREWELL, ON WHY HE FAILED TO INFORM HIS COACHES OR TEAMMATES OF HIS WHEREABOUTS AFTER MISSING THE ENTIRE WEEK OF BASKETBALL- TRAINING CAMP IN CHARLESTON, S.C.

“THIS IS AN URBAN MYTH. IT’S AS SILLY AS SEEING ELVIS AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE.” PEPSICO SPOKESMAN JONATHAN HARRIS, DENYING WIDESPREAD RUMORS, MOSTLY AMONG TEENAGERS, THAT DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW LOWERS SPERM COUNT IN MEN

“I’LL BE AWAKE, FOR ONE THING.” MUSICIAN DAVID CROSBY, A FORMER DRUG ADDICT, WHEN ASKED HOW THE CROSBY, STILLS, NASH AND YOUNG BAND’S UPCOMING U.S. TOUR, SLATED FOR JANUARY, WILL DIFFER FROMITS LAST IN 1974

“IT WAS A MEDICAL ADVENTURE, BUT ALSO A POLITICAL ONE AGAINST CONFORMISM AND THE WAY BORDERS ARE BUILT.” BERNARD KOUCHNER, ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS, THE FRENCH VOLUNTEER ORGANIZATION THAT RECEIVED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR ITS PIONEERING EFFORTS IN PROVIDING MEDICAL AID TO COUNTRIES IN NEED

“I THINK AMERICANS WILL BE GLAD THAT FROM NOW ON, HE’LL BE TAKING HIS GARBAGE OUT EACH MORNING IN PRIVATE.” WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMAN JOE LOCKHART, ON THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT INDEPENDENT PROSECUTOR KENNETH STARR PLANS TO STEP DOWN NEXT WEEK

“I’M A BIG FAN. WOULD YOU MIND?” MIAMI-DADE POLICE OFFICER RALPH DE JESUS, ASKING O. J. SIMPSON TO POSE FOR A PICTURE, AFTER THE INFAMOUS FOOTBALL PLAYER PHONED 911 FOR A FRIEND WHO HAD USED COCAINE. DE JESUS WAS TEMPORARILY DEMOTED TO DESK DUTY FOR HIS BEHAVIOR.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Agnes Ford”

“AMERICA APOLOGIZE!” SOUTH KOREAN ACTIVISTS OUTSIDE THE U.S. MILITARY BASE IN SEOUL, DEMANDING PUNISHMENT OF U.S. SOLDIERS REPORTEDLY RESPONSIBLE FOR AS MANY AS 400 CIVILIAN DEATHS IN NO GUN RI, AT THE ONSET OF THE KOREAN WAR IN 1950

“WE’RE JUST WAITING FOR MISS PIGGY, KERMIT AND FOZZIE THE BEAR.” MARK PFEIFLE,OF THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE, ON ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER’S EXPRESSED INTEREST IN RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR IN 2002, JOINING THE RECENT RASH OF ACTORS TURNED POLITICOS IN HOLLYWOOD

“I WAS CONSTANTLY A CANDIDATE FOR 20 YEARS. IT KEPT ME YOUNG.” GERMAN NOVELIST GUNTER GRASS,WHO WON THE 1999 NOBEL PRIZE IN LITERATURE FOR CAPTURING THE ESSENCE OF POST-WWII GERMANY

“ORGANIZED RELIGION IS A SHAM AND A CRUTCH FOR WEAK-MINDED PEOPLE WHO NEED STRENGTH IN NUMBERS.” MINNESOTA GOV. JESSE VENTURA,INTERVIEWED FOR THE NOVEMBER ISSUE OF PLAYBOY MAGAZINE, WHERE HE DISMISSES RELIGION AND RATIONALIZES THE BEHAVIOR OF MEN TOWARD WOMEN IN THE MILITARY

“INSTANTANEOUS DEATH DOES NOT AMOUNT TO TORTURE.” ATTORNEY CLIVE NICHOLLS,WHO REPRESENTS FORMER CHILEAN DICTATOR AUGUSTO PINOCHET, REFUTING ALLEGATIONS DURING THE EXTRADITION TRIAL THAT PINOCHET TORTURED A VICTIM WITH ELECTRIC SHOCK; THE VICTIM DIED INSTANTLY

“HE’S GROUNDED FROM A LOT OF THINGS ACTUALLY.” RENEE PEREGORY,WHO GROUNDED HER 12-YEAR-OLD SON CHRISTOPHER AT HOME AFTER HE SNEAKED ONTO A TWA FLIGHT WITHOUT A TICKET AND FLEW ALL THE WAY TO ST. LOUIS BEFORE PHONING HOME

“I BELIEVE SHE KILLED MY DAD TO PLEASE SATAN AND I THINK HE DIED A MARTYR’S DEATH.” PASTOR GREG SIMON,REFERRING TO THE WOMAN WHO SHOT HIS FATHER OUTSIDE THEIR CHURCH IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA., SIX YEARS AGO, AFTER SHE RECENTLY ASKED FOR A REPRIEVE ON HER STAY AT A MENTAL HOSPITAL

“THEY’RE DEFINITELY NOT CHOCOLATE BULLETS.” MARILYN MODE,CHIEF SPOKESWOMAN FOR THE N.Y. POLICE DEPARTMENT, AFTER EXAMINING THE 9MM CARTRIDGES DISTRIBUTED AS SOUVENIRS AT AN EXHIBIT BY ART DEALER MARY BOONE, WHO WAS CHARGED WITH UNLAWFUL POSSESSION AND DISPOSAL OF AMMUNITION

“IF THE ADAGE IS TRUE–YOU DIE A DEATH OF A THOUSAND DEATHS IN POLITICS–ROSS PEROT WAS ONE OF A THOUSAND CUTS.” GEORGE W. BUSH,IN A SPEECH DENOUNCING PEROT AND HIS PUSH TO UNDERMINE HIS FATHER’S PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN IN 1992

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “Daniel Crawford”

“I DON’T CARE IF HE IS A POLITICIAN OR A PRIME MINISTER, THERE SHOULD BE NO FORCE TO STOP A FATHER AND A SON FROM COMMUNICATING.” HASSAN SHARIF, AFTER THE MILITARY LEADERS OF THE PAKISTANI COUP THAT OUSTED HIS FATHER, PRIME MINISTER NAWAZ SHARIF, REFUSED TO LET THE TWO SPEAK BY TELEPHONE

“TO QUIT EUROPE WOULD BE AN ACT OF ECONOMIC MUTILATION.” PRIME MINISTER TONY BLAIR, KICKING OFF A MULTIPARTY CAMPAIGN TO PROMOTE CLOSER BRITISH INTEGRATION WITH EUROPE

“HEY, THEY’RE COMPLAINING. THAT MEANS THEY’VE REALLY BECOME ISRAELIS.” ISRAELI SPEAKER OF THE PARLIAMENT AVRAHAM BURG, ON THE GRIPES OF RECENTLY ARRIVED CUBAN IMMIGRANTS THAT THEY’RE NOT GETTING AS MUCH ASSISTANCE AS THEIR ETHIOPIAN AND RUSSIAN COUNTERPARTS

“THERE HAVE BEEN DETRACTORS, PEOPLE WHO LAUGHED AT US, BUT THAT’S NORMAL. THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND.” BERNARD KOUCHNER, ONE OF THE FOUNDERS OF DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS, ON THE UNCONVENTIONAL OUTREACH METHODS OF THE GROUP AWARDED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE LAST WEEK

“WE SUSPECTED THAT WHEN WE SET THIS COMMISSION UP THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOME DARK CHAPTERS IN OUR IMMEDIATE POSTWAR HISTORY.” STUART E. EIZENSTAT, A CLINTON ADMINISTRATION REPRESENTATIVE TO THE PRESIDENTIAL ADVISORY COMMISSION ON HOLOCAUST ASSETS IN THE U.S., ON A RECENT REPORT SHOWING THAT SOME AMERICAN OFFICERS AND GIS PLUNDERED GOLD, SILVER, PAINTINGS AND OTHER BELONGINGS OF HUNGARIAN JEWS EXECUTED IN WORLD WAR II

“THIS IS AN URBAN MYTH. IT’S AS SILLY AS SEEING ELVIS AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE.” PEPSICO PUBLIC AFFAIRS SENIOR MANAGER JONATHAN HARRIS, DENYING WIDESPREAD RUMORS, MOSTLY AMONG TEENAGERS, THAT DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW CAUSES MALE INFERTILITY

“I’LL BE AWAKE, FOR ONE THING.” MUSICIAN DAVID CROSBY, OF CROSBY, STILLS, NASH AND YOUNG, WHEN ASKED HOW THE BAND’S UPCOMING U.S. TOUR, SLATED FOR JANUARY, WILL DIFFER FROM ITS LAST IN 1974

“I’M THINKING ABOUT CHANGING MY NAME TO SOMETHING LIKE ‘COWDUNG.’ " AMERICAN CROONER HARRY CONNICK JR., NOTING THAT AUSTRALIA’S MOST SUCCESSFUL BANDS HAVE NAMES LIKE SPIDERBAIT AND POWDERFINGER

“I LOST MY FREEDOM… FOR WRITING ABOUT A DEBATING TEAM. I WASN’T BOB WOODWARD TRYING TO BRING DOWN THE PRESIDENCY.” CANADIAN JOURNALIST MURRAY HIEBERT, WHO SERVED FOUR WEEKS IN A MALAYSIAN JAIL AFTER HE WROTE ABOUT A WOMAN WHO SUED A SCHOOL FOR DROPPING HER SON FROM ITS DEBATING TEAM. HIEBERT SUGGESTED THAT THE CASE MOVED THROUGH THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM EXCEPTIONALLY QUICKLY BECAUSE THE BOY’S FATHER WAS A JUDGE

“YOU CAN’T LOOK AT A… CROP AND KNOW IF IT’S BEEN GENETICALLY MODIFIED. IT DOESN’T GLOW AND IT DOESN’T HAVE A DIFFERENT COLOR.” BRUCE FERGUSON, PRESIDENT OF THE MAINE TESTING COMPANY ENVIRO LOGIX, EXPLAINING WHY HE HELPED DEVELOP A DIPSTICK TEST THAT IDENTIFIES GENETICALLY MODIFIED FOODS

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-22” author: “Micheal Koeppen”

“I JUST MISSED GETTING HIT BY A BULLET. BUT WE WON’T STOP UNTIL THIS COUNTRY IS DEMOCRATIC.” ARIF DAI, A 21-YEAR-OLD INDONESIAN, PART OF THE CROWD THAT CLASHED WITH POLICE IN JAKARTA AGAINST A NEW LAW GIVING THE MILITARY MORE POWER TO QUELL PROTESTS.

“I’M GOING TO NEED EVERY VOTE I CAN GET AMONG REPUBLICANS TO WIN THE ELECTION.” GOV. GEORGE W. BUSH, APPEALING TO PAT BUCHANAN NOT TO BOLT TO THE REFORM PARTY, DESPITE THE FUROR OVER THE RENEGADE CANDIDATE’S COMMENTS ON THE ALLIES’ ROLE IN FIGHTING HITLER

“YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!” JOE SCAGLUSO, WHO WORKS IN TIMES SQUARE, ON NEWS THAT THE AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE ASSOCIATION HAS GIVEN NEW YORK CITY AN AWARD FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY

“IT’S REALLY A PAIN HOW OFFICIOUS THEY ARE. BUT I HAVE TO SAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, THOSE OLD LADIES MAKE ME FEEL SAFER.” GALINA NOVOSVETSKAYA, ON THE REAPPEARANCE OF THE BABUSHKI, THE ELDERLY WOMEN WHO SIT SENTRY IN FRONT OF MOSCOW APARTMENT BUILDINGS, IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE BOMBINGS THAT HAVE KILLED ALMOST 300 PEOPLE

THERE ARE ONLY A CERTAIN NUMBER OF WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.” SCOTTISH AUTHOR JAMES MACKAY, REFUTING ACCUSATIONS THAT HE PLAGIARIZED HIS BIOGRAPHY OF JOHN PAUL JONES, A YEAR AFTER HIS BIOGRAPHY OF ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL WAS RECALLED BY A PUBLISHER FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

“IT SURE MAKES YOU DEPRESSED AFTERWARD. IT STOPS ABRUPTLY AND YOU REALLY REALIZE YOU’RE IN PRISON.” SANDRA TAPPEINER, A GERMAN INMATE AT SANTA MONICA WOMEN’S PRISON IN LIMA, PERU, ON HER PARTICIPATION AS A CONTESTANT IN THE PRISON’S ANNUAL BEAUTY PAGEANT

“CROOKS HAVE CALENDARS TOO.” TONY AVELING, A REPRESENTATIVE FROM THE AUSTRALIAN BANKERS ASSOCIATION, WARNING CUSTOMERS THAT PANIC WITHDRAWALS FROM THE BANKS IN ANTICIPATION OF Y2K WILL GIVE THIEVES AN ADDED INCENTIVE TO ROB HOUSES

“MY DAD USED TO HEAR TALK ABOUT THE LAND GOING SOUR. BUT HE NEVER SAW IT SMELLING AS SOUR AS THIS.” NORTH CAROLINA FARMER CHRIS STANCILL, ON THE STENCH OF $700,000 WORTH OF ROTTING COTTON LEFT IN HIS FIELDS AS THE FLOODS FROM HURRICANE FLOYD RETREATED

“IT IS NOT 100 PERCENT NORMAL, BUT COMPARED TO WHAT THE LAST 10 YEARS HAVE BEEN LIKE, IT IS BETTER.” WRITER SALMAN RUSHDIE, COMMENTING ON HIS LIFE SINCE IRAN LIFTED THE FATWA ON HIM

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Janice Jensen”

“A MAJOR ACCIDENT RESULTING IN A RADIOACTIVE LEAK HAS HAPPENED. WE APOLOGIZE FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS.” KOJI KITANI, PRESIDENT OF JCO CO., OPERATOR OF THE NUCLEAR-FUEL PLANT IN TOKAIMURA, JAPAN, WHERE THE CHAIN REACTION OCCURRED

“I AM FURIOUS.” TOKAIMURA RESIDENT TOMI OSHIRO ON THE SEVERAL-HOUR DELAY IN ALERTING PEOPLE TO THE NUCLEAR ACCIDENT IN THEIR TOWN

“THIS IS NOT AUSTRALIA’S NEXT VIETNAM. THIS IS INDONESIA’S LAST VIETNAM.” MAJOR GEN. PETER COSGROVE, OF AUSTRALIA, COMMANDER OF THE EAST TIMOR MULTINATIONAL PEACEKEEPING FORCE, ON WHETHER HIS COUNTRY WOULD BE DRAWN INTO A LONG ENGAGEMENT IN THE PROVINCE

“THIS MAY BE A FAMOUS SITE TO SOME, BUT TO ME IT’S JUST A BOTHER.” LUIGI SCAVIZZI, AN ENGINEER ON THE VATICAN’S NEW UNDERGROUND-GARAGE PROJECT, WHERE WORK WAS SUSPENDED WHEN PART OF AN ANCIENT ROMAN VILLA WAS DISCOVERED ON THE SITE

“THERE ARE 3 BILLION PEOPLE IN ASIA AND 2 BILLION OF THEM ARE IN THE MTV GENERATION. THAT’S WHO WE’RE AFTER.” SUMNER REDSTONE, CHAIRMAN OF VIACOM INC., WHICH OWNS THE MUSIC-TV NETWORK, ON WHAT BROUGHT HIM TO A GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED FORUM OF 300 CAPITALISTS, IN SHANGHAI

“IT CAN’T BE SOMETHING THAT SIMPLE THAT COULD CAUSE THIS TO HAPPEN.” NOEL HINNERS, VICE PRESIDENT FOR FLIGHT SYSTEMS AT LOCKHEED MARTIN ASTRONAUTICS, WHICH BUILT THE LOST MARS ORBITER. THE COMPANY DESIGNATED SOME OF THE SATELLITE’S PROGRAMS IN POUNDS, AN ENGLISH UNIT OF THRUST, BUT NASA READ THEM AS METRIC NEWTONS.

“WE DO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.” CIA SPOKESMAN BILL HARLOW, ON THE AGENCY’S NAMING ITS NEW VENTURE-CAPITAL COMPANY IN-Q-IT. Q IS THE NAME OF THE TECHNOLOGICAL EXPERT IN THE JAMES BOND MOVIES

“I WAS CONSTANTLY A CANDIDATE FOR 20 YEARS. THAT KEPT ME YOUNG.” GERMAN NOVELIST GUNTER GRASS, ON WINNING THE 1999 NOBEL PRIZE IN LITERATURE

“AND HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN CALLING OUR WIVES ‘FLIGHT ATTENDANTS’ AND ‘BIMBOS’?” GOLFER DAVIS LOVE III, REMARKING THAT AMERICAN COMPETITORS HAD BEEN HECKLED WHEN THEY PLAYED OVERSEAS IN THE PAST, SO ANY COMMENTS TO THE EUROPEAN TEAM DURING THE RECENT RYDER CUP TOURNAMENT WERE BUSINESS AS USUAL

“IT ALL SEEMS VERY DISTANT AND CONFUSING TO ME. IT’S LIKE A PLAY, AND SOMEHOW I GOT MENTIONED IN THE SCRIPT.” CHRIS OFILI, THE BRITISH ARTIST WHOSE PAINTING “THE HOLY VIRGIN MARY,” WHICH INCORPORATES A CLUMP OF ELEPHANT DUNG AND CUTOUTS FROM PORNOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES, IS AT THE CENTER OF A FIGHT OVER PUBLIC FUNDING OF ART EXHIBITS IN NEW YORK CITY

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Stephen Cruz”

“While the West is busy erecting Holocaust museums, it has failed to study the history that produced it.” Pat Buchanan, in his new book “A Republic, Not an Empire,” which asserts that Nazi Germany posed no threat to the United States after 1940 and questions whether Hitler was driven to war with the West

“It was a difficult time, and you know we didn’t let many Americans into Cuba.” Fidel Castro, apologizing to JFK Jr. during his visit to Cuba in October 1997, for rejecting Lee Harvey Oswald’s visa application a month before the gunman shot JFK

“Crooks have calendars too.” Tony Aveling, a representative from the Australian Bankers Association, warning customers that panic withdrawals from banks in anticipation of Y2K will give thieves added incentive to rob houses

“The bandits will be pursued wherever they are. If that is at an airport, then at the airport.” Russian Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin, after Russian warplanes bombed the Grozny airport, the first air attack on the airport since the Chechen war ended in 1996

“There are only a certain number of words in the English language.” Scottish author James Mackay, refuting accusations that he plagiarized his biography of John Paul Jones, a year after his biography of Alexander Graham Bell was recalled by a publisher for copyright infringement

“I was like, ‘Damn, put your credit card to use someplace else’.” Steven Azeez, an administrative assistant at dbusiness.com, after he delivered four UPS packages to the desk of a co-worker who spent the day shopping online

“It’s short on policy statements, but the sex scenes are a lot better.” HarperCollins editor David Hirshey, comparing actress Cybill Shepherd’s autobiography to Sen. John McCain’s memoir, after the actress expressed interest in running for president

“She’s really been the Joan of Arc of anti-sweatshops.” Bob Adler, head of licensing for Kathie Lee Gifford’s clothing line, shocked by worker-advocacy groups’ charges that “Kathie Lee sweatshops” still exist in El Salvador, with young girls working 11-hour days for 60 cents an hour

“The idea of… having so-called works of art in which people are throwing elephant dung at a picture of the Virgin Mary is sick.” New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who threatened to withdraw funding for the Brooklyn Museum of Art’s exhibit of 42 British artists, after the works received complaints from the Catholic League

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Dan Day”

“He’s broken promise after promise. We must not and cannot trust his words. We can only judge him on what he does.” British Defense Secretary George Robertson, on Slobodan Milosevic

“Even the politicians don’t know how long this is going to take. I don’t trust Milosevic.’’ Zegir Shala, a 29-year-old refugee from Kosovo, as he boarded a plane to Denmark, on the odds of returning safely home

“If my own son had not been lost in the massacre, I probably would have been one of the silent majority.” Retired professor Ding Zilin, whose son was killed at Tiananmen Square, on why she both speaks out but understands the general Chinese public’s silence on the 10th anniversary of the massacre

“I have no advice for Thabo [Mbeki], because he has the wisdom to lead the country.” South African President Nelson Mandela, leader of the African National Congress, speaking of his successor in his country’s elections

“We lived with apartheid for 40 years. The ANC needs more than five years to make things right.” Soweto resident Themba Ndlovu, on why he voted for the African National Congress

“We are at a point where we have to decide what we want, to punish Ocalan or to end terror in Turkey.” Istanbul columnist Avni Ozgurel, in the daily paper Radikal, on the trial of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan, who has called for an end to the Kurds’s 15-year war against the Turkish Army

“Make yourself at home.” NASA Mission Control, welcoming the U.S. space shuttle Discovery’s astronauts to the International Space Station, a 16-nation cooperative project begun last December. When completed in five years, the station will stretch the length of a football field.

“This utterly discouraging decision is dictated by the economic crisis in the country and the absence of Western investors.” Russian space agency flight director Vladimir Solyovov, speaking of the decision to abandon the aging space station Mir

“We don’t follow anyone’s lead. When the village head tells me to choose one party or another, I just say no.” Javanese farmer Udi, commenting on Indonesia’s June 7 elections, the first free elections there in 44 years

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “John Jackson”

“I think it belongs to the family and we can get rid of it any way we want to. I don’t think anybody will be upset about the fact that we disposed of it.” Sen. Robert Kennedy, in documents released about the mysterious sea burial of the bronze coffin that once held the body of assassinated President John F. Kennedy

“The feeling is, maybe we couldn’t stop Wal-Mart, and there’s a Starbucks on every corner, but don’t take our water.” Maude Barlow, chairwoman of the nationalist Council of Canadians, in reference to suggestions by entrepreneurs that water-rich Canada export some of its surplus to the thirsty United States

“The biggest trouble we’ve got with safety is the cheese–it’s a missile. We can’t guarantee anybody’s safety here. We put signs up and boundary fencing, but you can’t stop the cheese, not completely.” Tony Pither, chairman of the Cooper’s Hill Cheese Rolling Committee in Cooper’s Hill, England, before the annual–and sometimes dangerous–race to chase rounds of Gloucester cheese down a steep hill commenced this week

“I was kind of creeped out. It’s scary that such a safe place to me can be so shattered.” Student Erica McClaugherty, after returning to Columbine High School for the first time since the nation’s deadliest school shooting occurred there April 20

“You want an honest conversation, let’s have an honest conversation. I am the first president who ever took on the NRA. I got my party in Congress to stand with me on the Brady bill.” Bill Clinton, in response to “Good Morning America” anchor Charlie Gibson’s suggestion that the president did not use the occasion of recent school shootings to weaken the National Rifle Association’s hold on gun-control laws

“We can’t keep the station aloft because we have no money.” Russian Space Agency spokesman Sergei Gorbunov, after announcing that cosmonauts would leave the Mir space station in August

“People have breaking points. People snap.” Retired police detective Robert Volpe, on his son, Justin Volpe, who pleaded guilty to torturing Abner Louima two years ago

“I’m still asked if Tenzing or I got to the summit first. We agreed we would say we reached it ‘almost together,’ when in fact I reached it a few paces ahead of him. I’ve decided now I’m going to tell it like it was.” Sir Edmund Hillary, on his conquest of Mount Everest

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Corrie Morin”

“I would–I don’t–I can’t imagine it being me.” Tipper Gore, when asked what she would have done had she been in Hillary Rodham Clinton’s shoes

“That clearly shows that you don’t have to have a big brain to be brilliant.” Dr. Sandra Witelson, explaining that the weight and overall size of Albert Einstein’s preserved brain fall within the normal range

“We’re a bunch of hot-blooded babes with a lot of physical energy.” U.S. Women’s Soccer Team cocaptain Julie Foudy, on why head coach Tony DiCicco–unlike many men’s coaches–permits conjugal visits during training camp

“Congress probably should spend more time obeying the Ten Commandments and less time trying to exploit them for crass political purposes.” Barry Lynn, director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, on the House bill that would permit posting the Ten Commandments in schools to deter juvenile crime

“I just sat where I was. I said, ‘If God wants me to die today, I would like it to happen in this temple’.” Julia Moreno Rodriguez, after surviving the earthquake that shook central Mexico and the church in which she prayed

“It’s easier to sing it than do it.” Pope John Paul II, 79, when crowds in his hometown sang a Polish song the title of which translates to “May You Live to Be a Hundred”

“She’s a Jew, a lesbian and a Southerner. Just think of all the scholarships that makes her eligible for.” Sandy Gellar, on her 17-year-old daughter, Samantha, whose play about two lesbians was banned for school audiences in Charlotte, N.C., but performed last week at the New York Shakespeare Festival

“I see people passed out, and I don’t even think about it. But I wouldn’t expect anybody to come onto the train and die.” Commuter Sean Grant, on learning that a passenger who appeared to be sleeping had actually died on a New York City subway

“He’s handsome. He’s charismatic. But really we can’t find out why he’s so popular.” Tokyo Broadcasting System’s Eiichiro Inai on George W. Bush’s run for the presidency

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Thomas Vann”

“The decision to attack the entire nation has been counterproductive, and our destruction of civilian life has now become senseless and excessively brutal.’’ Jimmy Carter, arguing in a New York Times op-ed piece that U.S. policy in Yugoslavia has failed

“We’ve already bombed his house. We’ve already bombed his wife’s business. If that didn’t wound him or change his thinking, I don’t think an indictment will.” Jon Western, a former war-crimes analyst at the State Department, wondering whether Slobodan Milosevic will much care that he was indicted for war crimes

“I will not vote for Democrats–it’s too dangerous for the country.” Sergei Khrushchev, son of former Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev, who will become an American citizen later this month and vote in his first presidential election next year

“Now, New Hampshire must be judged by the content of its character.” State Rep. Jane Kelley, a Democrat, arguing in favor of legislation that would recognize Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the state, as in the 49 others. After failing 11 times since 1979, the bill finally passed the state House of Representatives last week.

“Nobody, even feminists, wants to make a federal case out of a food fight in the cafeteria. The behavior we are talking about goes way beyond snapping girls’ bra straps.” NOW president Patricia Ireland, after a divided Supreme Court ruled that public schools may be held responsible if they fail to prevent students from sexually harassing classmates

“If this is the picture of life after baseball, it’s not pretty.” Judge Jack Espinosa Jr., who sentenced erstwhile New York Yankee Darryl Strawberry to 18 months’ probation for drug and solicitation charges

“That is a colossal mistake.” Former vice president Dan Quayle, after 115 GOP members of Congress announced their endorsements of Texas Gov. George W. Bush, Quayle’s rival for the Republican nomination

“Let’s say you have a daughter and she is really ugly. OK, maybe you get her a nose job, a chin implant. But you don’t kill her.” Dante Mazzitelli, the owner of an Italian hotel that was demolishedlast week on order of the government because it violated zoning laws and was considered an eyesore

“Everything that happens in America happens in New York.” First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, discussing her possible plans for a New York Senate bid with CBS’s Dan Rather

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Margaret Ferrara”

“We’ve already bombed his house. We’ve already bombed his wife’s business. If that didn’t wound him or change his thinking, I don’t think an indictment will.” Jon W. Western, a former war-crimes analyst at the State Department, wondering whether Slobodan Milosevic will much care that he was indicted for war crimes

“This is what I call the Teddy Roosevelt force. It is a force that we are designing to speak softly and carry a big stick.” NATO spokesman Jamie P. Shea, on the plans for a heavily armed peacekeeping force of 50,000 soldiers to enter Kosovo if Serbian troops withdraw

“I can assure the American people that their nuclear secrets are now safe at the labs.” Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson, who says his department has been insufficiently credited for tightening the security lapses that allegedly enabled China to engage in widespread espionage at U.S. weapons labs

“The glue is very deep.” Ezra Vogel, head of Harvard University’s Asia Center and a former national-security official, commenting on the multitude of business and personal ties that bind China and the United States

“I became a bride, a mother and a widow in front of your eyes.” Indian opposition leader Sonia Gandhi, addressing her supporters upon her return as president of the Congress party

“It sounds like the worst of our fantasies about cloning, combining the inexperience of youth with the biology of the aged.” Thomas H. Murray, president of the Hastings Center, an ethics think tank in New York, commenting on reports that Dolly, the 3-year-old cloned sheep, has 9-year-old cells

“Thank you, thank you, oh, dear mayonnaise.” Frostbitten Eiichi Urata, an amateur Japanese mountain climber lost for 15 days on a 7,700-foot peak near Nagano, who survived on snow and two tubes of mayonnaise

“Let’s say you have a daughter and she is really ugly. OK, maybe you get her a nose job, a chin implant. But you don’t kill her.” Dante Mazzitelli, owner of the Fuenti, an Italian hotel in Vietre on the Amalfi coast that was demolished last week on order of the government because it violated zoning laws and was considered an eyesore

“It’s not for guns, like in your American schools. They’re trying to keep us from using our phones in class.” Helsinki high-school senior Hanna Riihelainen, on why school principals want to install metal detectors. Finland has 5 million people and 3 million mobile phones.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Norman Riston”

“I can report to the American people that we have achieved a victory for a safer world, for our democratic values and for a stronger America.” President Bill Clinton, after Serbian leaders signed the peace agreement for Kosovo

“The aggression is over, happy peace to us all.” President Slobodan Milosevic, after the signing

“You invade my privacy this way, six months from now I’ll whip your a–. You have no damn business playing these games.” Mississippi Gov. Kirk Fordice, who leaves office in January, to a local TV reporter who asked him about the vacation he took with his junior-high-school sweetheart while his wife remained at home. Fordice’s attorney later said the governor plans to divorce his wife and marry Ann Creson.

“One man’s violence is another man’s action.” Stephen Sommers, director of “The Mummy,” on proposed federal legislation that would prohibit the sale of obscenely violent movies, books and videogames to children

“It’s not going to be easy to sort out who belongs where.” Richard Kocher, who works for the International Organization for Migration, on helping Albanian refugees establish their claims

“When I was a child we carried a bottle in the back of the car. I don’t know what my dad did with it.” Oregon truckers association spokesman Robert Russell, on the state bill that prohibits motorists–and a growing number of truckdrivers–from discarding bottles of urine along roadways

“It’s not an area where we had anticipated finding bodies.” New York Deputy Mayor Rudy Washington, after archeologists unearthed the remains of 11 Colonial residents during the reconstruction of City Hall Park

“They violate our land and occupy it and steal the Muslims’ possessions, and when faced by resistance they call it terrorism.” Osama bin Laden, the Saudi millionaire officials blame for the deadly 1998 bombings of U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, calling for a holy war against the United States

“I think this country would be greatly served. There would be rejoicing in many parts of the land.” ABC newsman Sam Donaldson, predicting public reaction if he stopped talking for five weeks while benign nodes behind his vocal cords heal

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-02” author: “Georgia Martinez”

“If I die, at least I will die there!” 12 year-old ethnic Albanian Liridon Maharremi, driving with his family back into Kosovo despite NATO’s warnings that the area was still dangerous

“We’ll go to the refugee center and register. We are not refugees, because we are in our own country. But we’ll be living on humanitarian aid.’’ A Serbian refugee near Merdare, on how they will survive now

“Shall we kill Granny?’’ Naxhie Salihu, 82, an ethnic Albanian, recalling the taunts of a Serbian soldier just before he and his troops robbed her

“The world has proved crazy of late. We are taking measures to create a world that is more stable, more generous and more courageous.” French President Jacques Chirac, commenting on the G8 decision to forgive some $65 billion in developing-country debt

“Opening agricultural markets in Europe and the United States might have provided more real help to these states.’’ Deutsche Bank chief economist Norbert Walter, on the G8 debt decision

“He’s handsome. He’s charismatic. But we really can’t find out why he’s so popular.” Tokyo Broadcasting System’s Eiichiro Inai, on George W. Bush’s run for the presidency

“What he did was inexcusable, and particularly as a father, I felt that it was terribly wrong, obviously.” Vice President Al Gore, on President Clinton’s extramarital affair with Monica Lewinsky

“Congress probably should spend more time obeying the Ten Commandments and less time trying to exploit them for crass political purposes.” Barry Lynn, director of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, on the House bill that would permit posting the Ten Commandments in schools to deter juvenile crime

“People do ask whether Anwar is behind this. He is in a way, but he’s also behind bars. So I have to sink or swim.” Wan Azizah, wife of Malaysia’s former deputy prime minister, Anwar Ibrahim, on her role as the leader of the newly formed Keadilan, or National Justice Party

“Halfway is not enough.” Fatima al-Abdali, 40, one of seven women who have already declared themselves candidates for the 2003 Kuwait elections, the first year women will be eligible to hold office if Parliament approves Sheik Jabar al-Sabah’s proposal to allow women the right to vote and run for office

“That clearly shows that you don’t have to have a big brain to be brilliant.” Dr. Sandra Witelson, explaining that the weight and overall size of Albert Einstein’s preserved brain fall within the normal range

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Mark Bell”

“I can report to the American people that we have achieved a victory for a safer world, for our democratic values and for a stronger America.” President Bill Clinton, after Serbian leaders signed the peace agreement for Kosovo

“The aggression is over, happy peace to us all.” Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic after the signing

“We are under no illusions that it’s a safe environment.” British Lt. Gen. Michael Jackson, commenting on the potentially volatile situation in Kosovo when ethnic Albanian refugees return home and see the extent of Serb damage

“Even if they were ethnically cleansed, revenge is not appropriate.” Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, warning the KLA not to attack retreating Serbs

“Until we see the Americans come, we won’t know it’s really over. Come back in 10 days, and you can have all our names.” An Albanian man in Gnjilane, Kosovo, who remained in his town throughout the war but refused to identify himself until he sees American troops in the area

“Why is it taking so long?” Amien Rais, leader of the National Mandate Party, on the delays in counting the votes in the first free elections in Indonesia in 44 years

“I need time to prepare.” Kurdish guerrilla leader Abdullah Ocalan, to the presiding judge after prosecutors demanded that Ocalan be hanged. He is on trial for leading a 15-year war against Turkey for Kurdish independence.

“I’d say that any movie that has more than 50 killings is pushing the envelope.” U.S. Representative Henry Hyde, on what constitutes obscene violence, as Congress considers legislation to ban selling violent movies, books and videogames to children

“It almost feels like it was just sheer destiny.” Andre Agassi, after winning the French Open, becoming the fifth man ever to win all four Grand Slam events

“I have to ask myself, having looked at that video, if this is the best you can do.” British Judge Richard Benson, addressing three pornographic-film dealers on trial before him. Judge Benson said he had seen more graphic material on television.

“A lot of guys would like to be in my position, raising my kids and playing golf. I mean, my life is fine. It’s not what it was, but that’s life.” O. J. Simpson, five years after the murders of his ex-wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman for which he was tried and acquitted

“Too many of you are hugging the Hubble Space Telescope.” NASA Administrator Daniel S. Goldin, exhorting a group of American astronomers to dream of new technologies for space exploration

“I hope this is one of those things that fades like a summer tan.” NATO spokesman Jamie Shea, commenting on his newfound celebrity

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Sara Long”

“We can turn the power off whenever we need to and whenever we want to.” NATO spokesman Jamie Shea, after air attacks on the power grid shut off electricity to 70 percent of Yugoslavia

“They’re crazy, those NATO pilots.” Yugoslav government official Goran Matic, after NATO bombs hit the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade

“But then who is to say what is truly horrible anymore?” Kosovar Ferat Gashi, who exhumed his nephew from a mass grave in Kosovo and reburied him

“Oh, a famous actor. Too bad. What I need is a doctor.” Kosovar refugee Hatixhe Ajeti, coming upon Richard Gere and an entourage of cameramen in a Macedonian camp

“That has surprised me greatly, that the tape should turn up magically after seven years. That doesn’t even happen in Hans Christian Andersen stories.” Israeli Ambassador Yitzhak Aviran, on a recently found audiotape that has raised suspicion that the Buenos Aires police were involved in the 1992 bombing of the Israeli Embassy that killed 29 people

“Scots are pretty canny, and they can see that we have a sweet deal here as it is. So most people say, ‘Why walk away from a good situation?’ " University of Edinburgh economist Brian Mane, commenting on last week’s Scottish elections for their first independent Parliament in 300 years

“I need air. I almost died out there.” Colombian Javier Zapata, 26, after earning his place in the Guinness Book of Records for pedaling his bike up 760 stairs in a Medellin office building

“Take one step away from there and you’re not worried about George Mallory’s life anymore… you’re worried about your own life and falling down the North Face.” Mount Everest climber David Hahn, referring to the ledge at 27,000 feet on Everest where he and his team found the body of the British explorer, lost 75 years ago

“This jury finds you guilty of all charges.” Verdict on Marine Capt. Richard Ashby, for obstruction of justice when he removed a videotape from his jet after a flight that severed a gondola’s cables in Italy last February, causing 20 deaths. Earlier, he was found innocent of manslaughter; he faces up to 10 years in prison

“Rome is not a hamburger.” Marcello Fiori, Rome city planner, reminding potential Jubilee 2000 visitors that they will be in a foreign country and may not have some of the conveniences they are used to

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “Jimmie Dinkins”

“It was the shortest way down.” Columbine High School student Patrick Ireland, who was shown on television dragging himself out of the building through a second-story window, speaking publicly for the first time at a hospital press conference last week

“I don’t care how many people are watching over us. I’m still scared.” Columbine freshman Margot Brown, on the difficulty of returning to school–at a different building–for the first time since the shootings

“It just looked like pictures of Hiroshima. When we came up, everything was gone.” Oklahoman Jeannette Ralston, on the tornadoes that ravaged Oklahoma and Kansas

“We can turn the power off whenever we need to and whenever we want to.” NATO spokesman Jamie Shea, after air attacks on the power grid shut off electricity to 70 percent of Yugoslavia

“I think there is a real peace process underway.” President Clinton, after the Western Alliance and Russia agreed on principles for reaching a negotiated end to the war in Yugoslavia

“He told me if I ever talk to anyone about what happened to me, he’ll kill me and everybody in my family.” Haitian immigrant Abner Louima, testifying for the first time and singling out NYPD Officer Justin Volpe as the man who sodomized him with a stick

“He’s obviously a better teacher than he is a special prosecutor.” NYU law student Max Karpel, on Independent Counsel Ken Starr, who receives rave reviews for the course he teaches there each year

“He seemed to be at peace with himself.” Climber Conrad Anker, who last week was the first to spot the body of British explorer George Mallory, who died 75 years ago attempting to scale Mount Everest

“We let them play freely on the field, and we have no concern about it.” Alfonso Urquiola, manager of the Cuban baseball team that trounced the Orioles last week, on why he wasn’t worried that his players would try to defect. A pitching coach–but no players–did.

“I needed to take care of myself.” Tipper Gore, discussing for the first time her treatment for depression nearly a decade ago

“Without all Kirk’s emotion and intensity and high-octane hand-wringing, our villains of the week might have seemed more ridiculous than frightening.” “Star Trek” star William Shatner, defending in his book “Get a Life” his much-lampooned overacting

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Tami Mosley”

“This is a cultural virus. We have to ask ourselves what kind of children we are raising.” Colorado Gov. Bill Owens

“Even in death, Hitler is still killing.” Nobel laureate andHolocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, responding to reports that the killers used Nazi insignia and salutes

“We don’t want you here.” Mayor Wellington Webb, in asking the NRA to cancel its upcoming Denver meeting

“Protocol–who has to be there and how much space do they need?” Thomas Gorman, an organizer of the NATO summit in Washington, on the diplomatic concerns that necessitated building a $70,000 conference table

“Behind its monstrous dress, what we now have inside the Reichstag is a rather modest woman.” State Minister for Culture Michael Naumann, commenting on the newly renovated glass-domed Reichstag

“There’s a feeling that we’re all collateral damage now.” An unidentified Serbian journalist, after NATO attacked media and political sites in Belgrade

“I thought it would be someone like Al Gore or Clinton. But Michael Jordan? This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to this school.” Chicago teacher Carol Rolowicz, who was told her class would be hosting an unnamed visitor

“It is out of kilter from anything else we have known, so it has to be another species.” University of California anthropologist F. Clark Howell, on the discovery of 2.5 million-year-old fossils in Ethiopia

“I cannot tolerate that the name of my grandfather and of my father be used to sell something as banal as a car.” Marina Picasso, the painter’s granddaughter, on the name of the new Citroen Picasso

“The price is artificially high, and it’s not just teenagers that can’t afford them, it’s poor people as well.” Spokeswoman from the Family Planning Association, on British trade officials’ investigation of condom costs

“Do not forget, we are dealing with a major politician… Boris Yeltsin will still catch cold at our own funerals.” Chief Kremlin Dr. Sergei Mironov, saying Yeltsin faked illness to confuse political opponents

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Brandon Kilmer”

“How can this be collateral damage when it was such a direct hit?” Zoran Savic, of Surdlica, Yugoslavia, where a NATO missile struck a residential area

“The good thing about this war is that it’s being fought by an alliance. The bad thing about this war is that it’s being fought by an alliance.” Sen. Joseph R. Biden, a Democrat from Delaware, after NATO’s 50th-anniversary meeting in Washington, D.C.

“In all honesty, it bothers me that I sell guns.” Gun designer Tom Deeb, whose 9mm Hi-Point carbine was one of the guns used in the Littleton, Colorado, school shootings

“Dear Mr. Heston, I hope you’re happy now.” Note left in NRA president Charlton Heston’s mailbox by his neighbor, singer Lorna Luft

“We have to react to every little thing now because we can’t separate the real from the imagined.” Pat Lewis, school superintendent in Coalinga, California, where two boys were arrested last week for saying they want to blow up their schools

“Now we know there’s nowhere safe to be.” Becky Zsednai, 17, of Taber, Canada, after a copycat killing in an Alberta high school

“We are not going to enter the new millennium without television.” Kurdish television station director Hikmet Tabak, responding to Britain’s decision to shut down the world’s sole Kurdish-language TV station, based in England

“Get a lot of rest.” Outgoing Director of the United Nations Development Program James Gustave Speth’s advice to his successor, Mark Malloch Brown

“They’re crazy. But there are a lot of them, so the government has to listen.” Beijing resident Li Xiaoming, referring to last week’s protest in the Chinese capital by 10,000 members of the Buddhist Law cult

“He will become our Y2KKK problem.” Rep. Billy Tauzin, Republican of Louisiana, on the damage to the GOP’s public image if former Klan leader David Duke is elected to Congress

“I’m going back to Chicago financially ruined, but I don’t care.” Kurt Volk, an art student who quit his job in Illinois to go to Hollywood to stand in line for tickets to the “Star Wars” prequel, “The Phantom Menace”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Carol Harrison”

“We put an X on the map, but we put the X in the wrong place.” An American official commenting last week about the bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade

“It doesn’t mean mistakes don’t happen.” Commander general of the United States Air Forces in Europe, Gen. John Jumper, after NATO’s bombing of Korisa, Kosovo , on the accuracy of cluster bombs, which are not precision guided weapons

“In Kosovo, we have all come face to face with the European future, and it is frightening.” British Defense Secretary George Robertson, at a meeting of the Western European Union, Europe’s long-dormant military arm

“You help them now or never.” Lili Erbeli of Brooklyn, New York, who has taken in 14 of her Kosovo relatives

“Maybe. If we’re not on a picnic.” Navon Armand, a bus driver in Beersheba, Israel, on whether he planned to vote in the May 17 election, a holiday

“It’s high time to take energetic measures.” 68-year-old Russian President Boris Yeltsin, reading slowly from a prepared text to announce that he had fired his prime minister and cabinet

“These prices have no bearing on reality.” Manhattan art dealer Susan Seidel, after an unidentified buyer spent $35.2 million for a painting by Seurat, 13 times the artist’s 1996 record

“We speak with our eyes.” An unidentified Kurdish man in Lice, Turkey, who spoke of the weather, not politics, because of the presence of Turkish military and police officials

“Not a lot of this is real rocket science.” John Willacker, head of space-launching operations for the Aerospace Corp., a consulting company, on the increasing number of mechanical mishaps in the highly competitive satellite-launching business

“The cat is out of the bag.” British Foreign Office spokesman commenting on the appearance of mirror sites that copied a World Wide Web site listing 100 people as British spies

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “Kenny Jorge”

“In all honesty, it bothers me that I sell guns.” Gun designer Tom Deeb, whose 9mm Hi-Point carbine was one of the guns used in the Littleton school shootings

“Dear Mr. Heston, I hope you’re happy now.” Note left in NRA president Charlton Heston’s mailbox by his neighbor, singer Lorna Luft

“We have to react to every little thing now because we can’t separate the real from the imagined.’’ Pat Lewis, school superintendent in Coalinga, Calif., where two boys were arrested last week for saying they want to blow up their schools

“He will become our Y2KKK problem.” Rep. Billy Tauzin, Republican of Louisiana, on the damage to the GOP’s public image if former Klan leader David Duke is elected to Congress from his state

“It’s like when you got automatic door locks on your car, and at first you thought, ‘Do I really need this?’ Once you have them, you can never go back.” Brian Banberger, on his new, high-speed DSL Internet connection

“Sinead O’Connor must be hallucinating… Next week, she’ll be a Buddhist monk. The week after, maybe she’ll turn into an Orthodox rabbi.” William Donahue of the Catholic League, on the controversial Irish singer who now claims she’s been ordained a priest, in part to repent for ripping up a picture of Pope John Paul II on television in 1992

“I am sure he is a lovely man.” O’Connor, on the pontiff

“Now I have no piece for the most important show of my career.” Photographer Spencer Tunick, who was arrested last week while attempting to photograph 150 naked people in New York’s Times Square. He had not yet snapped a shot when the police took him into custody.

“I live vicariously through my rumors.” “Ally McBeal” star Calista Flockhart, not quite denying gossip-column reports about her

“They are like two balls of burning flame.” Pamela Anderson Lee, on the residual pain caused by her recent surgery to remove breast implants

“I’ve heard ’em on those talk shows actually say it: ‘A Jewish life has to be avenged’.” O. J. Simpson, telling “Hard Copy” why he thinks the media were interested in covering the murder of Ron Goldman

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Kelly Reeves”

“It’s high time to take energetic measures.” Sixty-eight-year-old Russian President Boris Yeltsin, reading slowly from a prepared text to announce that he had fired his prime minister and cabinet

“I think it’s possible to defend this constitutional right and also defend the kids in the school cafeteria.’’ Sen. Gordon Smith, Republican of Oregon, speaking on the Senate floor in favor of a GOP-sponsored gun-control bill

“Right now, I am looking forward to spending time with my family, having dinner with my mom and taking the dog for a walk.’’ So-called Long Island Lolita Amy Fisher, in a statement issued to the press after being released from prison, seven years after shooting her lover’s wife in the face

“We want to at least have somebody show up besides Strom Thurmond.’’ Former senator Bob Dole, explaining on the “Today” show why time is of the essence in building a memorial to those who served in World War II

“I’d rather put my children through college than own a box full of Salinger’s letters.’’ Author Joyce Maynard, who last year wrote a memoir trading on her youthful affair with reclusive novelist J. D. Salinger and is now selling a collection of love letters from the “Catcher in the Rye” author

“I only have a certain amount of time. I like to read good books.’’ Former senator Bill Bradley, on “Earth in the Balance,” the book written by Vice President Al Gore, Bradley’s opponent in the Democratic presidential primary

“It’s very strange to know that little kids somewhere will be playing with me.’’ “Phantom Menace” star Natalie Portman, telling TV Guide about her discomfort with being rendered as an action figure

“I told him I loved him, and he said, ‘I love you, too’.’’ Twenty-year-old Veronica Leturia, one of more than 5,000 fans who crowded a Manhattan record store to get Latin pop star Ricky Martin’s autograph

“I guess that proves that ignorance is bliss. Frankly, I miss the bliss.’’ Minnesota state Sen. Roy Terwilliger, a Republican, on the revelations contained in Gov. Jesse Ventura’s biography

“He is not perfect, but nobody is.’’ Monica Turner, Mrs. Mike Tyson, in a Father’s Day Esquire magazine article on her husband, who is currently in prison for assaulting two motorists

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Joshua Sparks”

“This is a cultural virus. We have to ask ourselves what kind of children we are raising.” Colorado Gov. Bill Owens

“Even in death, Hitler is still killing.” Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel, responding to reports that the killers employed Nazi insignia and salutes

“If there had been even one armed guard in the school, he could have saved a lot of lives and perhaps ended the whole thing instantly.” NRA president Charlton Heston, on ABC’s “Good Morning America” the day after the shootings. Later reports indicated there was an armed guard at the school.

“Protocol–who has to be there and how much space do they need?” Thomas Gorman, an organizer of the NATO summit in Washington, on the diplomatic concerns that necessitated building a $70,000 conference table

“I thought it would be someone like Al Gore or Clinton. But Michael Jordan? This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to this school.” Chicago teacher Carol Rolowicz, who was told her class would be hosting an unnamed visitor

“I’ve been waiting for that introduction for 35 years.” Sen. Edward Kennedy, after Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, forgetting that Kennedy, not President Clinton, was the next speaker, introduced the Massachusetts senator as “the president of the United States”

“You tell stories about me… I bathe in the glory, rage in the heat–and then overtly ignore you.” Actress Sharon Stone, speaking to the American Society of Newspaper Editors

“I feel like Elvis in his fat period: my hour and a half of fame are over, but they can’t stop applauding.” Rep. Lindsey Graham, a House impeachment manager, at a celebration for the 13 impeachment managers that was thrown by the Independent Women’s Forum, a conservative group

“What happened to you, it wasn’t your husband’s fault… it wasn’t my father’s fault. It was my fault, and I’m sorry.” So-called “Long Island Lolita” Amy Fisher, apologizing in court to Mary Jo Buttafuoco, whom she shot in 1992

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Willard Hoch”

“It said to me, ‘Cleland, we got to do something here’.” Georgia Sen. Max Cleland, who, shortly after the Conyers shooting, changed his mind and voted for a Senate gun-control amendment, bringing the vote to a 50-50 deadlock. Al Gore cast the tiebreaker to pass the measure.

“I urge you to trust and believe in the courage of following your heart and surrendering your fear and anger.” Actress Sharon Stone, who turned over four guns she owned to the police in the wake of the Columbine High School massacre

“We were singing the Celine Dion song ‘My Heart Will Go On,’ trying to keep everyone’s spirits up.” Greg Haywood, an Australian passenger on the luxury cruise liner Sun Vista, which sank off the coast of Malaysia. All 1,104 passengers were rescued in lifeboats.

“I told him I loved him. I told him he was in the woodshed.” GOP presidential hopeful Elizabeth Dole, on husband Bob Dole’s comment saying he might contribute to rival Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign

“They haven’t installed a phone in his woodshed yet, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to him.” McCain, on whether he had spoken to the former senator since the flap

“After three years of constant struggle, my physical and spiritual sources to resist are exhausted.” Democratic fund-raiser Yah Lin (Charlie) Trie, after pleading guilty to violating federal campaign-finance laws in the 1996 presidential campaign

“No, Mr. Charles de Gaulle… your name doesn’t belong to you. It doesn’t belong to you to use it to defend ideas and men who for half a century have been the enemies of what General de Gaulle represented.” A complaint printed in the French daily Le Monde from outraged family members to the grandson of the late French president General de Gaulle, for joining the ultra-right-wing National Front

“I can disagree with doctrines and dogmas and still celebrate them.” Madonna, who had her daughter baptized as a Roman Catholic though she herself has rejected the church

“It just didn’t appeal to me… More attention is paid to a First Lady than to a senator.” Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, on why she rejected Georgia Democrats’ suggestions that she run for senator

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Margie Bacon”

“Read my lips. It’s not about NATO. It’s about the U.N.” Yugoslav Foreign Ministry spokesman Nebojsa Vujovic, demanding both his country’s participation in any U.N. negotiations to end the war in Kosovo and for NATO to not dictate solutions

“We’re not going to offer any carrots.” NATO spokesman Jamie Shea, insisting that the allies are united and will not compromise on their conditions to end the fighting in Kosovo

“As of tomorrow, this is a different Israel.” Former Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres, on Ehud Barak’s victory

“It may not restore health to the banking sector, but it will drag away the carcasses.” Margot Jacobs, an analyst for United Financial Group, an investment group in Moscow, on the Russian Central Bank’s revoking 12 banks’ licenses

“The first thing that flashed across my mind was: ‘Oh God, is this the Titanic?’ " Briton Mary Mailer, one of the 1,104 rescued passengers aboard the luxury cruise liner that sank off the coast of Malaysia

“It’s not like we have a bunch of favorite recipes to work with. This may be an ancient tradition, but it’s all new to us.” Richard Markishtum, a member of the Makah Indian tribe in the Pacific Northwest, on how to prepare the whale the tribe killed last week, the first one in 75 years

“It’s true that I don’t drive, not because of ideology… but because I have never found the time to take the test.” Supermodel Claudia Schiffer, who, despite earlier claims that she would never do car advertisements, has been making ads for French car maker Citroen since 1997

“She is nonetheless mad about cars.” Citroen spokesman Jean-Claude Cardinale

“I can disagree with doctrines and dogmas and still celebrate them.” Madonna, who had her daughter baptized as a Roman Catholic though she herself has renounced the church

“The mark will enrich our soil, as it once enriched our lives.” Gerald Vollmer-Heuer, of the German company Environmental Protection North, which is turning 60 million marks, withdrawn from circulation as the euro is introduced, into compost

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Jeanne Rowden”

“THIS PLEA IS MORE THAN ACCEPTABLE FROM OUR POINT. THIS IS NOTMARYLAND.” ISRAELI ATTORNEY GENERAL ELYAKIM RUBINSTEIN, REFERRING TO THE 24-YEAR JAIL SENTENCE ACCEPTED BY AMERICAN SAMUEL SHEINBEIN, THE 19-YEAR-OLD WHO FLED TO ISRAEL AFTER COMMITTING FIRST-DEGREE MURDER IN 1997

“TWO INCHES OF RAIN SHUTS DOWN THE WHOLE CITY.” LOUISA LINCOLN, AS SHE WAITED TO USE A PAY PHONE IN NEW YORK CITY, WHERE A RUSH-HOUR RAINSTORM FLOODED SUBWAYS AND COMMUTER TRAINS LAST WEEKAND LEFT THOUSANDS OFCOMMUTERS STRANDED

“WE’RE NOT GOING TO BE GIVEN AID BY THE NUMBER OF DEAD BUT BY THE SCOPE OF THE DAMAGE.” IZMIT MAYOR SEFA SIRMEN, DEFLECTING ACCUSATIONS THAT THE EARTHQUAKE DEATH TOLL IN TURKEY WAS INFLATED TO INCREASE FOREIGN AID

“THE PEACE WE HAVE NOW IS IMPERFECT, BUT BETTER THAN NONE.” NORTHERN IRELAND SECRETARY MARJORIE (MO) MOWLAM, DECLARING THAT THE IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY’S POLITICAL PARTY MAY PARTICIPATE IN AN UPCOMING REVIEW OF THE REGION’S STALEMATED PEACE PROCESS

“DO YOU THINK THE ENEMY CARRIES FLASHLIGHTS?” SENAIT TEKLEAB, A 19-YEAR-OLD FEMALE INFANTRY SOLDIER WHO HEADS THE FRONT LINE IN ERITREA, A NATION EMBROILED IN A 15-MONTH WAR WITH ETHIOPIA, ON FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MEN

“ONE OF OUR INSPECTORS TOLD ME THAT HE WAS TALKING TO A FOOD HANDLER TODAY, AND THE PERSON WAS CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT THE EXPIRATION DATE MEANS.” JACK BRESLIN, ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF SAN FRANCISCO’S BUREAU OF ENVIRONMENTAL HEALTH, AFTER STUDENTS IN A CITY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WERE SERVED THREE-MONTH-OLD MILK ON THEIR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

“THESE ARE THE SOLAR SYSTEM’S JUICES IN A BOTTLE.” NASA SENIOR SCIENTIST EVERETT GIBSON, ON THE DISCOVERY OF 4.5 BILLION-YEAR-OLD WATER ENCAPSULATED IN SALTY CRYSTALS WITHIN A METEORITE THAT LANDED IN WEST TEXAS

“EVERY DAY I’M TEASED, EVERY DAY I’M HARASSED, EVERY DAY SOMEONE CAN’T WALK BY WITHOUT SAYING, ‘WATCH YOUR MOUTH, HERE’S THE CURSING CANOEIST’.” TIMOTHY BOOMER, WHO WAS SLAPPED WITH A $75 FINE AND FOUR DAYS OF COMMUNITY-SERVICE DUTY AS PENANCE FOR USING FOUL LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF CHILDREN AFTER HIS CANOE TIPPED LAST SUMMER IN MICHIGAN

“YOU LEARN TO SPELL THAT WORD BY THE SIXTH GRADE.” JOSEPH BEAHM, WHO PAID FOR A NEW JERSEY TATTOO ARTIST TO BRAND HIS BACK WITH AN IMAGE THAT DEPICTS BEING STABBED IN THE BACK, ALONG WITH THE WORDS WHY NOT? EVERYONE ELSE DOES. THE ARTIST MISSPELLED ELSE “ELESE.”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Jennifer Chehebar”

One of the last crew members aboard the Mir space station,as he and two other astronauts, one Russian, the other French, left the 13-year-old station for the last time

“Talking about the history of democracy in Serbia is like talking about a vegetarian crocodile. It sounds nice, but does not exist.” Leader of the League of Social Democrats in Serbia, Nenad Canak, on the increasingly fragmented relations between the country’s opposition groups

“We’re not going to be given aid by the number of dead but by the scope of the damage.” Izmit Mayor Sefa Sirmen, deflecting accusations that the earthquake death toll in Turkey was inflated to increase foreign aid

“Why can’t we develop our own nuclear bombs?” Taiwanese presidential candidate Cheng Pang-chen, who believes Taiwan should become the world’s eighth nuclear power in response to continued threats from China

“We would bomb all of their suspected nuclear facilities.’’ Yan Xuetong, an intellectual at the government-supported China Institute of Contemporary International Relations, on China’s response if Taiwan tries to build a nuclear bomb

“These are the early solar system’s juices in a bottle.” Everett Gibson Jr., a senior scientist at NASA, on the discovery of 4.5 billion-year-old water found within salty crystals in a meteorite that landed in Texas

“The peace we have now is imperfect, but better than none.” Northern Ireland Secretary Mo Mowlam, in declaring that the Irish Republican Army’s political party may participate in an upcoming review of the region’s stalemated peace process

“Do you think the enemy carries flashlights?” Senait Tekleab, a 19-year-old female infantry soldier who heads the front line in Eritrea, a nation embroiled in a 15-month war with Ethiopia, on fighting alongside men

“Nine months–or less.” Juliet Kiyaga, a guest at the royal wedding of Ronald Mutebi, King of Buganda, and Sylvia Luswata, speculating on how soon the couple would begin their family

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “John Derrick”

“I’M GOING TO WALK IN THERE. PLEASE DON’T FOLLOW ME. I’M GOING TO WALK OUT THE SAME DOOR.” CHELSEA CLINTON, ADDRESSING A CROWD BEFORE WALKING INTO A SKANEATELES ART GALLERY IN UPSTATE NEW YORK, WHERESHE IS VACATIONING WITH HER PARENTS

“THIS IS NO LONGER WHAT SIX PEOPLE THINK. IT’S WHAT GIULIANI THINKS.” FORMER MAYOR ED KOCH, ON COMBATIVE NEW YORK CITY MAYOR RUDY GIULIANI, WHO WAS PICKED TO SERVE ON A JURY LAST WEEK

“IT IS ALMOST LIKE GOD’S FURY–SO NATURAL AND YET SO UNNATURAL TO A PERSON LIKE ME.” JERRY GULLEDGE, A SHERATON HOTEL GUEST IN ATLANTIC, N.C., AFTER HURRICANE DENNIS SWEPT THROUGH THE AREA WITH 60-MPH WINDS, CLIPPING THE HOTEL ROOF AND KILLING TWO MOTORISTS NEARBY

“I’M WHITE TRASH. BUT GOD HAS GIVEN ME A GIFT TO RELATE TO PEOPLE AND TO SEE THE COMMON SENSE OF THE BIBLE.” JAY BAKKER, THE 23-YEAR-OLDTATTOOED SON OF EVANGELIST JIM BAKKER, WHO PREACHES TO PUNKS, GOTHS AND METALHEADS AT HIS ALTERNATIVE MINISTRY IN ATLANTA

“YOU CAN SHOOT IF YOU WANT, BUT I’M NOT PUTTING MY HAMMER DOWN.” WITNESS ACCOUNT OF GIDONE BUSCH’S FINAL STATEMENT TO BROOKLYN POLICE BEFORE THEY SHOT HIM MORE THAN A DOZEN TIMES WHEN HE REFUSED TO DROP HIS WEAPON

“FOR [WOMEN] IT’S A CHALLENGE: THEY WANT TO BE THE ONE TO TURN ME AROUND. I LET THEM.” ACTOR KEVIN SPACEY, ON THE UPSIDE OF WHAT HE SAYS TO BE FALSE RUMORS THAT HE’S GAY

“THE BEACH IS OPEN! ONLY THE WATER IS CLOSED!” MICHAEL ALI, A SURF-SHOP OWNER IN HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIF., WHERE THE BEACH HAS BEEN SEALED OFF FOR WEEKS BECAUSE OF EXCESSIVE BACTERIA IN THE WATER

“IT’S EASIER FOR A JAPANESE WOMAN TO SAY SHE’S HAD AN ABORTION THAN TO SAY SHE’S ON THE PILL.” JAPANESE GYNECOLOGIST TOMOKO SAOTOME, ON THE LINGERING STIGMA OF THE BIRTH-CONTROL PILL IN JAPAN, WHERE THE CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT FINALLY APPROVED ITS USE LAST WEEK, AFTER ALMOST NINE YEARS OF DEBATE

“THE ONLY THING THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKEN AWAY IS HIS DRIVER’S LICENSE.” AUTHOR STEPHEN KING, WHEN ASKED WHAT KIND OF RETRIBUTION HE EXPECTS FORTHE MAN WHO RAN HIM DOWN WITH A VAN IN JUNE

“I COULDN’T THINK OF A WORSE TIME FOR THIS TO HAPPEN. I’VE HAD CHRONIC STUFF, AND IF THIS WAS CHRONIC I’D PLAY TOMORROW.” TENNIS STAR PETE SAMPRAS, WHO WITHDREW FROM THE U.S. OPEN DUE TO A BACK INJURY

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Jacqueline Carpenter”

“The phone rings, but nobody answers.” Ali Demir, one of hundreds of Turks in New York trying to reach relatives in the earthquake’s aftermath

“All presidents want to be Warren Beatty. [He] has won Oscars, he’s married to Annette Bening, he has wealth, he has a legacy of–shall we say?–the good life. Why does he want to go to Washington now?” Actor Alec Baldwin, on Beatty’s expressed interest in running for the White House

“The rats may be jumping off the ship, but the ship isn’t sinking.” Jonathan Baron, press secretary for Dan Quayle, on whether Quayle intends to quit the presidential race, after an embarrassing eighth-place finish in Iowa’s straw poll

“The most important concern is that the children’s needs be addressed with a minimum of disruption.” Billionaire Gordon P. Getty, son of oil baron J. Paul Getty and father of four adult sons, who disclosed that he has harbored a second family in Los Angeles for more than a decade. The three girls and their mother filed for name changes and plan to negotiate for inheritance rights.

“It must have been one long, good layover.” Bob Kenia, vice president of the Association of Flight Attendants, on the unprecedented number of pregnant flight attendants at British Airways

“It’s like they are laughing in our faces.” Tammy Theus, mother of one of Columbine High School’s 15 black students, after parents discovered four swastikas scratched into the walls on the first day students returned to the Littleton, Colo., school since last April’s shooting spree

“She had a look in her eyes saying, ‘I don’t know who you are, but I’m going to kill you’.” Colorado Rep. Bob Schaffer, describing his encounter with a seven-foot-tall female moose while camping inColorado’s Roosevelt National Park

“I stop the cab at the side of the road if I have to make a trade. Safety first.” New York City cabby Carlos Rubino, who pauses at red lights and traffic jams to check stock quotes with the palm-size computer mounted next to his steering wheel. He claims a 70 percent return on his investment so far this year.

“We would rather lose a thousand soldiers than lose an inch of land.” The Liberation Army Daily, China’s military newspaper, on the brewing China-Taiwan conflict

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Richard Lopez”

“[It’s] the moral equivalent of letting them go play on a freeway.” From ‘An Appeal to Hollywood,’ signed by 50 politicians and public figures, on exposing children to violent and explicit material in entertainment

“So Mr. President, we say, ‘What’s wrong in letting American taxpayers keep more of their hard-earned money?’ " House Speaker Dennis Hastert, after House Republicans passed a dramatic tax-reduction bill that President Clinton is expected to veto

“Your bill is what we call in Harlem a trip to nowhere.” Rep. Charles Rangel, Democrat of New York, on the tax-cut bill

“Hey, it’s good for the salmon. He should go canoeing more often.” Phil Kline, of the American Oceans Campaign, after 4 billion gallons of water were released from a New Hampshire dam for an Al Gore photo op

“It was like an apparition, like a ghost rising out of the depths.” Underwater-expedition leader Curt Newport, on recovering late astronaut Gus Grissom’s Liberty Bell 7 space capsule 38 years after it sank off the Florida coast

“I have a natural talent.” Henri Pellonpaa, on winning the sixth annual Mosquito Killing World Championship in Lapland

“He should be the poster child for renal failure.” Transplant specialist Dr. Jonathan Bromberg, on San Antonio Spurs star Sean Elliott’s announcement that he played pro basketball for six years with a kidney condition that will now require a transplant

“I wanted to soar through the air.” Hijacker Yuji Nishizawa, to police, after commandeering an All Nippon Airways flight and stabbing its pilot to death in order to try flying the plane himself. He was overpowered by the crew, and the plane landed safely.

“Who the f— do you think you are?” Psychologist Michael Brooks, author of the best seller “Instant Rapport,” a how-to manual on relating to strangers, in a confrontation with a flight attendant that ultimately forced the plane’s emergency landing

“Hey, now I’m flat broke! Give me 20 bucks!” Chicago author Studs Terkel, to the robber who took $250 from him. The robber complied.

“I think I started doodling as an exercise in subpoena-avoidance.” Departing Treasury adviser Bob Boorstin, whose collection of drawings created during government meetings are on display this Tuesday at the department’s Cash Room

“DON’T BID–show some respect.” A message posted on eBay, the Internet auction house, about the sale of Kennedy-related domain names like “kennedy-curse.com”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Andrew Vanpelt”

“Nowadays, under Yeltsin, nothing is strange.” Lena Golovina,a Moscow street vendor commenting on yet another shake-up in the Russian government after Yeltsin fired his fourth prime minister

“We want to stand up and say to them both, ‘Thank you for loving us, but spare us the honor of being your battleground’.’’ Kashmiri lawyer Muzafar Baig, on the ongoing fighting between the Indian and Pakistani governments for control of his homeland

“If Russia goes away from the Caucasus by itself, we will leave it alone. If it does not, we will force it to go.’’ Chechen guerrilla leader Shamil Basayev, as he claimed responsibility for the recent uprising in Dagestan

“It looks as though it was put in by an Indian.” Britain’s Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, during a factory tour, commenting on a fuse box that looked a little out of place in the state-of-the-art facility. Buckingham Palace later apologized for the remark.

“Many people say it’s too easy to get into Canada. But I wouldn’t call spending 39 days crammed into a filthy cargo ship ’easy,’ would you?’’ President of the Canadian Council for Refugees, Franciso Rico-Martinez, on the disparity between the welcome given Kosovar refugees and 122 illegal Chinese immigrants found on a decrepit ship, described as the first wave of an Asian invasion by Canadian politicians and media

“Isn’t it better… to take out Milosevic, to take out Saddam Hussein, rather than to spend billions of dollars on a war that harms innocent civilians?” Christian Coalition president Pat Robertson, surprising viewers of his “700 Club” TV program with remarks that seemed to endorse political assassination

“You know what kind of people Serbs are. If they hadn’t made all that fuss, everyone would have stared at the sun, and 90 percent of Serbia would be blind.” Mila Vukoje of Belgrade, where city advisories for last week’s total solar eclipse left the city more deserted than at any point during last spring’s NATO bombings

“It feels freaky. It’s like God left to go to the toilet for two minutes.’’ Lucie Mortimer, a Coca-Cola representative, in Cornwall, England, during the total eclipse this past Wednesday

“It’s like saying that because you’re an ironworker, you’re less susceptible to being killed by a bullet.” Jack Baugher, president of a pepper-spray company, on last week’s report that police in Cambridge, Massachusetts, had been advised that certain ethnic groups respond less to the anti-crime spray because of high pepper content in their diets

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-21” author: “Craig Koehler”

“I ORIGINALLY PROPOSED EAR TAGS LIKE THEY PUT ON CATTLE, BUT NOBODY WAS WILLING TO GO ALONG.” IOWA REPUBLICAN PARTY CHAIRMAN KAYNE ROBINSON, JOKING ABOUT WAYS TO LIMIT REPEAT VOTING AT THIS PAST SATURDAY’S GOP STRAW POLL IN AMES

“IT’S LIKE SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IRONWORKER, YOU’RE LESS SUSCEPTIBLE TO BEING KILLED BY A BULLET.” JACK BAUGHER, PRESIDENT OF A PEPPER-SPRAY COMPANY, ON LAST WEEK’S REPORT THAT POLICE IN CAMBRIDGE, MASS., HAD BEEN ADVISED THAT CERTAIN ETHNIC GROUPS RESPOND LESS TO THE ANTI-CRIME SPRAY BECAUSE OF HIGH PEPPER CONTENT IN THEIR DIETS

“I’D LIKE TO BUY MORE TOYS.” FROM A PLATINUM VISA CREDIT-CARD APPLICATION BY ROCHESTER, N.Y., PRESCHOOLER ALESSANDRA SCALISE, WHOSE REQUEST FOR A $5,000 CREDIT LINE, FILED BY HER MOTHER AS A JOKE, WAS ACCEPTED BY TWO BANKS

“ISN’T IT BETTER… TO TAKE OUT MILOSEVIC, TO TAKE OUT SADDAM HUSSEIN, RATHER THAN TO SPEND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON A WAR THAT HARMS INNOCENT CIVILIANS?” CHRISTIAN COALITION PRESIDENT PAT ROBERTSON, SURPRISING VIEWERS OF HIS “700 CLUB” TV PROGRAM WITH REMARKS THAT SEEMED TO ENDORSE POLITICAL ASSASSINATION

“YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE SERBS ARE. IF THEY HADN’T MADE ALL THAT FUSS, EVERYONE WOULD HAVE STARED AT THE SUN, AND 90 PERCENT OF SERBIA WOULD BE BLIND.” MILA VUKOJE OF BELGRADE, WHERE CITY ADVISORIES FOR LAST WEEK’S TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE LEFT THE CITY MORE DESERTED THAN AT ANY POINT DURING LAST SPRING’S NATO BOMBINGS

“IF YOU HAVE A MEAT PRODUCT AT YOUR PARTY, IT’S A SIGN YOU’VE MADE IT… IF YOU HAVE NOT MADE IT, ALL YOU GET IS CHEESE AND COKES.” A WHITE HOUSE STAFFER, ON THE RECENT RASH OF FAREWELL PARTIES FOR PRESIDENTIAL AIDES

“WHO WILL TAKE ANY PRIME MINISTER SERIOUSLY IF THEY ARE CHANGED LIKE GLOVES?” COMMUNIST PARTY LEADER GENNADI ZYUGANOV, ON BORIS YELTSIN’S REPLACEMENT OF PRIME MINISTER SERGEI STEPASHIN WITH FORMER KGB OFFICER VLADIMIR PUTIN, THE FOURTH GOVERNMENT SHUFFLE IN 17 MONTHS

“HE’S MADE ME A BETTER PERSON IN TANGIBLE WAYS. I GET ANGRY LESS QUICKLY.” ACTOR AND BUDDHIST RICHARD GERE, ON THE DALAI LAMA, WHO VISITED NEW YORK CITY THIS PAST WEEKEND

“SHE’S NOT THE CHEERLEADER TYPE.” LINDA CHEALE, DESCRIBING FRIEND CALLISTA BISEK, THE 33-YEAR-OLD MEMBER OF THE HOUSE AGRICULTURE COMMITTEEWHO HAS HAD AN AFFAIR WITH NEWLY DIVORCED NEWT GINGRICH FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Susan Weiss”

“TODAY HE WILL BE ANNOUNCING HIS CANDIDACY FOR SOME SIGNIFICANT MAJOR OFFICE IN ARKANSAS.” ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE, OF NEW YORK MAYOR RUDY GIULIANI DURING THE MAYOR’S VISIT TO ARKANSAS LAST WEEK, POKING FUN AT HILLARY CLINTON’S POTENTIAL RUN FOR THE U.S. SENATE IN NEW YORK, WHERE SHE HAS NEVER LIVED

“I NOTE YOUR DISTRESS AT MY FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION OF THE CTBT.” SEN. JESSE HELMS, DEEMING THE COMPREHENSIVE TEST BAN TREATY WORTHLESS BY USING A WORD HE SAYS HE LEARNED FROM SEN. DANIEL PATRICK MOYNIHAN

“AS LONG AS STATE SECRETS AREN’T BEING REVEALED, WE WANT MORE SUCH OBJECTIVE NEWS REPORTS.” THE CHINA YOUTH DAILY, A PUBLICATION OF THE CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY YOUTH LEAGUE, ON CONFIRMING LAST WEEK THAT IT HAD BEEN DOCTORING ITS WEATHER REPORTS FOR 36 YEARS

“AS RIOTS GO, IT WAS A VERY FRIENDLY RIOT.” WOODSTOCK ‘99 REVELER MEGHAN MACIVER, ON THE ARSON AND LOOTING THAT SWEPT THE END OF THE MUSIC FESTIVAL AND RESULTED IN SEVEN PEOPLE INJURED AND SEVEN ARRESTS

“MARIANNE IS SADDENED AND DISAPPOINTED AT NEWT’S DECISION.” VICTORIA TOENSING, LAWYER FOR MARIANNE GINGRICH, ON FORMER HOUSE SPEAKER NEWT GINGRICH’S DECISION TO FILE FOR THE COUPLE’S DIVORCE LAST WEEK

“YOU KNOW, I’M A BOY, AND BOYS ARE ALWAYS CLOSER TO THEIR MOTHERS.” CONGO REBEL LEADER JEAN-PIERRE BEMBA, WHOSE FORCES AIM TO OVERTHROW THE NATIONAL GOVERNMENT IN WHICH HIS FATHER IS A MINISTER

“WE’LL NEED TO CHECK WITH OUR ATTORNEYS.” OFFICE OF OKLAHOMA GOV. FRANK KEATING, RESPONDING TO A REQUEST THAT AUG. 8 BE DECLARED “NATIONAL ADMIT YOU’RE HAPPY DAY”

“IF WE SEE ANYONE WEARING THESE DESIGNS, WE’RE GOING TO KNOW THEY DIDN’T BUY THEM AT SAKS.” A DETECTIVE FOR FASHION DESIGNER NICOLE MILLER, WHOSE ENTIRE FALL APPAREL LINE WAS STOLEN IN NEW YORK’S GARMENT DISTRICT LAST WEEK

“THEY HEARD NO NOISE… THEY SAW A WALL OF BLACK WATER COMING ON THEM AND THAT’S IT.” DR. MANFRED STUDER, WHO TREATED SIX SURVIVORS OF A DEADLY CANYONING ACCIDENT IN SWITZERLAND LAST WEEK, DESCRIBING WHAT THEY REMEMBERED OF THE RAIN-SWOLLEN SAXETEN RIVER BEFORE IT SWALLOWED 19 TOURISTS

“IT WASN’T EVEN A PARTICULARLY GOOD AIR CONDITIONER.” JOHN CLAYTON OF KANSAS CITY, MO., WHOSE AIR CONDITIONER WAS STOLEN IN A CITYWIDE RASH OF 31 AIR-CONDITIONING THEFTS PROMPTED BY LAST WEEK’S MIDWESTERN HEAT WAVE

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Barbara Werley”

“I hope this doesn’t ruin your trading day.” Stock trader and gunman Mark Barton, to workers in a day-trading firm during his shooting rampage that left nine dead in two Atlanta office buildings

“Thank God we sent George Mitchell and not Madeleine [Albright] to Ireland. We’d be bombing them this morning.’’ Sen. Ernest Hollings, remarking on the recent problems with the Northern Ireland peace process

“We will judge the international community by its deeds, not by its assurances.” Deputy Yugoslav Foreign Minister Nebojsa Vujovic, after the funeral for 14 Serbian farmers killed in the worst incident since NATO peacekeepers took control in Kosovo

“You know, I’m a boy, and boys are always closer to their mothers.” Congo rebel leader Jean-Pierre Bemba, whose forces aim to overthrow the national government in which his father is a minister

“As long as state secrets aren’t being revealed, we want more such objective news reports.” The China Youth Daily, a publication of the Chinese Communist Party Youth League, on confirming last week that it had been doctoring its weather reports for 36 years

“The first thing that came to my mind was: could this be China?’’ Betty Liu, a secretary in Taipei, describing her reaction to Taiwan’s power blackout that left 7 million homes and businesses without power

“Right now, this heat is just impossible.” Russian President Boris Yeltsin, commenting on the most recent crisis to hit the country–a heat wave with temperatures reaching 79 degrees Fahrenheit

“It won’t be so terrible to have Tarzan in pants.” Avi Lant, a promoter for the Disney animated film in Israel, on clothing the cartoon character in more than a loincloth in deference to ultra-Orthodox Jewish viewers

“They heard no noise… they saw a wall of black water coming on them and that’s it.” Dr. Manfred Studer, ho treated six survivors of a deadly canyoning accident in Switzerland last week, describing what they remembered of the rain-swollen Saxeten river before it swallowed 19 tourists

“We’ll need to check with our attorneys.” Office of Oklahoma Gov. Frank Keating, responding to a request that Aug. 8 be declared “National Admit You’re Happy Day”

“I would never take an American woman; I would rather remain single until death.” The National Hockey League’s 1999 most valuable player, Jaromir Jagr, of the Pittsburgh Penguins, explaining his deep affection for Czech women and culture

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Albert Gelinas”

“He was a visionary, a believer in peace. He supported it, dreamed of it and fought for it.” Former Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres, on the death of King Hassan of Morocco, the longest- ruling Arab monarch

“We can build great roads, but what will be on either side of these roads?” Remzi Lani, executive director of the Albanian Media Institute, commenting on the recently approved $41 million loan from the World Bank, and his hope that funds have been set aside to address social problems beyond the country’s infrastructure

“I make no bones about the fact that I would have preferred not to come back. I am not surprised, but I am disappointed.” George J. Mitchell, former U.S. senator who presided over the original Northern Ireland peace agreement, on returning to Belfast

“It was the only target we nominated.” CIA Director George J. Tenet, testifying before the House Intelligence Committee on the accidental bombing of the Chinese Embassy in Belgrade

“This music releases very pessimistic emotions. This does not suit the main tone of our propaganda.” Wang Xiaoyan, a music-video producer at CCTV in Beijing, discussing why the station won’t air music videos by the newest Chinese rock sensation, The Flowers

“We’re broke. How broke is a matter of some speculation.” Goran Pitic, a research director at the Economics Institute in Belgrade, on the Serbian economy

“I was a halfway-dead man. It took the best doctors in the world to put me back together.” American cyclist Lance Armstrong, on his amazing recovery from cancer and position as the leader in the Tour de France

“It’s amazing. Think of your worst nightmare in a ship and that would be it.” Citizen and Immigration spokesman Jim Redmond, describing conditions on a ship that carried 122 illegal Chinese immigrants who paid up to $38,000 for the 39-day voyage to Canada

“I have a slight feeling of euphoria.” Russian journalist Grigory Pasko, 37, on his release after spending 20 months in prison after he was charged with treason for documenting the Russian Navy’s practice of dumping nuclear waste in the ocean

“This is not a trip to grandma’s on a Sunday afternoon.” Edward Weiler, chief scientist at NASA, commenting on the difficulties of launching the $1.55 billion, 45-foot-long Chandra X-ray observatory into space, a mission headed by Eileen Gould, the first female commander in U.S. space history

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Brandon Roe”

“THIS IS WHAT SCOUTING TAUGHT ME: GOODNESS WILL PREVAIL.” JAMES DALE, A FORMER BOY SCOUT LEADER DISMISSED FROM HIS POST BECAUSE OF HIS HOMOSEXUALITY, ON LAST WEEK’S LANDMARK NEW JERSEY SUPREME COURT DECISION THAT THE BOY SCOUTS’ EXCLUSION OF GAYS WAS DISCRIMINATORY

“I DON’T THINK ANYBODY’S GOING TO BE SAYING, ‘OH, SHE’S SUCH A NICE JEWISH GIRL’.” DEMOCRACTIC CONSULTANT JEFFREY PLAUT, ON THE REVELATION THAT HILLARY CLINTON’S GRANDMOTHER’S SECOND HUSBAND WAS JEWISH

“I HATE THE STUPID PURPLE DINOSAUR, BUT IT GIVES KIDS RULES, AND IT’S MESMERIZING TO THEM, GOD KNOWS WHY.” DR. SHANNON THYNE, A PEDIATRICIAN, IN RESPONSE TO LAST WEEK’S AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS REPORT THAT TELEVISION, INCLUDING EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS, IS DETRIMENTAL TO CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

“IF HE HAD AN ITALIAN LAST NAME, THEY WOULD’VE ELECTROCUTED HIM.” INCARCERATED MAFIA BOSS JOHN GOTTI, ON PRESIDENT CLINTON’S PENALTIES FOR LAST YEAR’S SCANDAL

“WE NO LONGER USE THE TERM ‘GARBAGE.’ WE PREFER TO CALL IT MATURED WASTE.” MANUEL MINDANAO, A DEVELOPER FOR THE SMOKY MOUNTAIN HOUSING PROJECT IN THE PHILIPPINES, WHICH IS BEING CONSTRUCTED ON AND AROUND A 50-YEAR-OLD, 10-STORY PILE OF TRASH

“I AM POOR AND BORED, AND BEING WHITER WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER.” SHERI ROTH, A JAMAICAN WOMAN WHO TAKES PART IN THE PHYSICALLY HARMFUL TREND AMONG BLACK RESIDENTS OF USING STEROIDAL BLEACHING CREAMS TO LIGHTEN SKIN

“IT IS ALREADY GONE.” REP. DAVID OBEY OF WISCONSIN ON NEXT YEAR’S FEDERAL BUDGET SURPLUS, WHICH WILL LIKELY SOON BE SPENT ON EMERGENCY MEASURES TO PAY FOR AID TO FARMERS FOR DROUGHTS AND FOR THE 2000 CENSUS

“PUT THEM SIDE BY SIDE, AND OUR JESUS IS BETTER THAN THEIR JESUS.” CBS TELEVISION CEO LESLIE MOONVES, ON THE TWO MINI-SERIES ABOUT JESUS ON NBC AND CBS

“WHAT HAS WORKED ON OCCASION WITH MILOSEVIC MIGHT WORK WITH CAPITOL HILL.” A SENIOR CLINTON ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL, ON BALKANS NEGOTIATOR RICHARD HOLBROOKE’S CONFIRMATION AS U.S. AMBASSADOR TO THE UNITED NATIONS

“TWO FLOODS AND YOU ARE OUT OF THE TAXPAYER’S POCKET ACT.” NAME OF A BILL BY REPS. DOUG BEREUTER AND EARL BLUMENAUER TO STOP ASSISTANCE FOR REPEAT BENEFICIARIES OF NATIONAL FLOOD INSURANCE

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Laura Davidson”

Michael Jordan, announcing his retirement from basketball

““America would willingly take Clinton’s retirement in exchange for [Michael] Jordan’s.’’ Italian newspaper La Repubblica

““Bill Clinton seems to have a sin for each of us to identify with.’’ An Indiana woman, explaining to New York Times columnist William Safire why the president continues to be popular with the public

““Who’s going to try them? They killed all the lawyers.’’ A human-rights worker in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, on attempts to bring the Khmer Rouge to justice for crimes against humanity

““An Israeli Watergate?’’ Headline in the Israeli daily Yediot Ahronot, on the burglary at the Washington offices of Greenberg Quinlan Research Inc., which advises Ehud Barak, leader of the opposition Labor Party and candidate for prime minister

““For five years while writing the book I suffered isolation and depression and I never allowed myself to do anything fun or frivolous.’’ Historian Amanda Foreman, explaining her decision to pose nude to promote her new Whitbread Prize-winning biography of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire

““I’m afraid we’re starting this a little late.’’ Franco Bassanini, Italian under secretary to the prime minister, announcing the formation of a committee to address the Y2K problem

““I’m going to remain a research scientist; I just have a big bank account now.’’ Twenty-six-year-old Phil Ozersky, who last week sold Mark McGwire’s 70th-home-run ball for $3 million

““She looks like a sheep dog in drag.’’ Fashion maven Mr. Blackwell, on Linda Tripp, who topped his annual worst-dressed-women list

““Madeleine Albright. She’s a tough chick . . . I’d hate to meet her in a dark alley.’’ Actress Lucy Lawless, better known as Xena, the warrior princess, on who most closely resembles her TV character

““I’m happy to go and live there, but pay me the money.’’ Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, who won’t move into the home the royals purchased for her until her divorce settlement is increased

““We’re practically all white here, so I don’t see why we need this.’’ A villager in Fremainville, France, objecting to a statue depicting ““Marianne,’’ the icon of French liberty, as a black woman

““Citizenship is not a one-way street.’’ Interior Minister Otto Schily, on why Germany now requires that foreigners seeking citizenship take a language test and swear an oath of loyalty to the Constitution

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Lori Hahn”

““We don’t want to put our pets into chemical straitjackets.’’ Dr.Stephen Zwistowsky,an ASPCA science adviser, cautioning against overuse of two new psychiatric drugs approved for dogs by the FDA

““I asked, “How did you learn this?’ He said very quickly, “I watched the ““Jerry Springer Show’’ ‘.’’ Hollywood, Fla., police Det.Curt Navarro,recounting the explanation a 15-year-old boy gave for repeatedly committing incest with his 8-year-old half sister

““We give it out: reader service.’’ Washington Post advertising executiveMarc Rosenberg,noting that the paper, which in October ran an ad from Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt offering to pay for proof of adulterous liaisons with high government officials, still gets telephone calls seeking the pornographer’s toll-free number

““It’s over.’’ Legendary New York Yankee catcherYogi Berra,who knows of what he speaks, declaring an end to his 14-year feud with team owner George Steinbrenner

““If you have a copy, your kids won’t die.’’ Heather Kenyon,editor of Animation World magazine, after Disney announced a recall of 3.4 million videotapes of ““The Rescuers’’ because naked female breasts can be seen in the background when the movie is viewed frame by frame

““I don’t know about that.’’ Britain’s Prince Edward,to photographers’ requests that he kiss his fiancee at a press conference announcing their engagement. The prince, who once issued a statement declaring ““I am not gay,’’ eventually gave his intended a small peck on the cheek.

““There were 25 men within 20 miles of Monticello who were all Jeffersons and had the same Y chromosome.’’ HistorianWillard S. Randall,pointing out that although a recent DNA test proves that a male member of Thomas Jefferson’s family had a son with slave Sally Hemings, the father was not necessarily the third president

““The process is a bitch.’’ Longtime Georgetown basketball coachJohn Thompson,on his ““draining’’ divorce proceedings, which led him to resign his coaching duties last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Donna Dedeke”

““One reputation I don’t have is for stealing money from the public.’’ Outgoing Washington,D.C., MayorMarion Barry,reflecting on his 16-year tenure in a farewell news conference

““I would have tried to tell her that this was a relationship that had no future.’’ TelevisioninterviewerBarbara Walters, on the advice she would have given Monica Lewinsky if the two had met during the intern’s affair with President Clinton

““If people like my personality, thank you. If you don’t, I don’t really care.’’ Combative NewYork City MayorRudolph Giuliani,speaking to reporters in a year-end interview

““Maybe we’re just more, you know, advanced.’’ Eighteen-year-oldDaniel Wells,who answers technical-support calls for Nintendo of America, explaining his generation’s facility with high-tech equipment

““The mere fact that you’re a celebrity doesn’t give you a lock on a gun.’’ New York policespokesmanWalter Burnes,on the growing number of celebrities caught with firearms, ostensibly for protection

““It’s not my role to be like Hillary and try to rule the world.’’ Terry Ventura,on her new job as First Lady of Minnesota

““Allowing Reform rabbis to perform conversions is like allowing garage mechanics to perform conversions.’’ RabbiAvraham Ravitz,an Orthodox member of Israel’s Parliament, on a court decision recognizing conversions performed by non-Orthodox movements

““I now have a 7-year-old boy and a 9-year-old boy, so all I can say is I apologize.’’ MattGroening,creator of animated antihero Bart Simpson, frequently criticized as a bad role model for kids

““This happens to be the first time an impeached president sent a wreath to another impeached president.’’ Kendra Hinkle,a park ranger at the Andrew Johnson National Historic Site, when the birthday wreath that the sitting president traditionally sends each of his predecessors arrived last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Ruby Armstrong”

Michael Jordan, announcing his retirement from basketball

““I see Michael doing a lot more car-pooling.’’ Juanita Jordan, on her husband’s future plans

““Bill Clinton seems to have a sin for each of us to identify with.’’ An Indiana woman, explaining to New York Times columnist William Safire why the president continues to be popular with the public

““He is giving paralytics a bad name.’’ Quadriplegic cartoonist John Callahan, on Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt

““I’m going to remain a research scientist; I just have a big bank account now.’’ Twenty-six-year-old Phil Ozersky, who last week sold Mark McGwire’s 70th-home-run ball for $3 million

““Madeleine Albright. She’s a tough chick . . . I’d hate to meet her in a dark alley.’’ Actress Lucy Lawless, better known as Xena, the warrior princess, on who she thinks is most like her TV character

““She looks like a sheep dog in drag.’’ Fashion maven Mr. Blackwell, on Linda Tripp, who topped his annual worst-dressed-women list

““They get a little panicky.’’ Postal Service counter worker Barbara Myers, on customers who flooded their post offices on Monday, the first day the new 33-cent first-class rate was in effect, seeking one-cent stamps

““One third of the children today are born into homes without families.’’ Former vice president Dan Quayle, on the social ills caused by the antiwar sentiments of the ’60s generation

““We tried the Ivana out on customers, and everyone felt it was way too bitter.’’ A spokesman for Culture Club, a New York bar that attempted to name a drink after the former Mrs. Donald Trump, until her lawyers informed the establishment of her displeasure

““I’m happy to go and live there, but pay me the money.’’ Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson, who won’t move into the home the royals purchased for her until her divorce settlement is increased

““The only thing we know is he must be male and Jewish.’’ The Rev. Jerry Falwell, acknowledging he does not know who the Antichrist will be, but providing what information he does have about the Biblical figure who will spread evil prior to the Second Coming of Christ, which the reverend expects within 10 years

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Laura Lambert”

Britain’s Prince Edward, to photographers’ requests that he kiss his fiancee at a press conference announcing their engagement

““We have a few bad apples, and we will get rid of them.’’ Richard Pound, of the International Olympic Committee, after investigating allegations of misconduct in the selection of Olympic host cities. Two officials of the Salt Lake Organizing Committee later resigned.

““It was inevitable the Titanic was going to set sail, but that did not mean you had to be on it at the time.’’ Conservative leader William Hague, on the British decision not to join the rest of Europe in economic union

““There is no shred of support for Saddam anywhere in the Arab scene.’’ Nabil Osman, chairman of Egypt’s State Information Service, on Iraqi President Saddam Hussein

““I am not a politician. But I didn’t land here from another planet, either.’’ Amnon Lipkin-Shahak, former Israeli Army chief of staff, announcing his centrist candidacy for prime minister

““Even if they say this man is right and this man is wrong, my children won’t come back from the dead.’’ Mey Mann, 78, who lost three children during the Khmer Rouge years, on why a trial for former Khmer Rouge leaders might not help Cambodia

““We want to get away from the wimpy Nordic figure in a white nightie.’’ The Rev.Tom Ambrose, director of communications for Britain’s Anglican Ely Diocese, on why 50,000 churches will be asked to buy posters advertising Jesus Christ with an image of the Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara

““We know people with deep belief will be arriving and expecting to witness apocalyptic events that will change the face of humanity.’’ Yair Bar-El, the Israeli Psychiatric Society chairman, who estimates that 40,000 of the expected 4.5 million visitors to the Holy Land for millennium celebrations will need psychiatric help

““Now they have me in their cross hairs and I feel like David up against Goliath.’’ Linda Tripp, whose Pentagon salary tops $90,000 per year, explaining her mounting legal bills in a fund-raising letter sent to about 20,000 people

““This is like passing a kidney stone on the body politic.’’ Sen. Ernest Hollings, Democrat of South Carolina, on the excruciating impeachment process

““It’s safe here, not like other places. If you’re caught stealing something here, they don’t put you in jail; they just kill you.’’ A Cambodian pickup-truck driver, on security in Pailin, Cambodia

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Shawn Ryals”

Monica Lewinsky, turning away an autograph seeker at the Los Angeles airport

““Steve’s been a famous football player. I’m a single mother. We’re an example of the diversity that we want to see in our party.’’ Rep. Jennifer Dunn of Washington, on why she and Rep. Steve Largent of Oklahoma were chosen for the GOP response to the State of the Union

““I’m convinced someday there will be a president who announces his program in less than 15 minutes. I don’t care if he’s Democrat or Republican, I’m going to support him.’’ Sen. Orrin Hatch, on ABC’s ““Good Morning America’’ the day after Clinton’s 77-minute speech

““I’ve wanted to be president for a long time.’’ Former vice president Dan Quayle, announcing on ““Larry King Live’’ that he will run for president in 2000

““The American people are now and for some time have been asking to be allowed a good night’s sleep. They’re asking for an end to this nightmare. It is a legitimate request.’’ Former senator Dale Bumpers, Democrat of Arkansas, speaking in Clinton’s defense at the Senate impeachment trial

““I’m happy to report that I have not been beaten to a bloody pulp.’’ Republican political consultant Mary Matalin, after a false newspaper story was spread on the Internet suggesting that her husband, Democratic consultant James Carville, had been arrested for assaulting her

““I’m sorry, but four children and a house in the suburbs looks pretty married to me.’’ Lesley Garner, writing in London’s Evening Standard about Rolling Stone Mick Jagger’s claim that Jerry Hall can’t divorce him because they were never properly married

““Above all, we are all older.’’ Pope John Paul II, when asked upon his arrival in Mexico last Friday what had changed since his first visit to that country, in 1979

““We do have summer. Last year, I remember, it was a Wednesday.’’ Helga-Marie Johnsen, a resident of Tromso, Norway, where the sun sets each November and doesn’t rise again until late January

““This is a reciprocal relationship.’’ New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, explaining that while other regions benefit from the business and culture centered in his city, New York benefits by shipping them its trash

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Robert Sumstad”

“Why was a refugee convoy escorted by Serb military vehicles on the Prizren-Djakovica road… in the first place? Why weren’t the people in their homes, at their jobs, going about their normal lives? Why were they en route to the border?” NATO spokesman Jamie Shea, arguing that responsibility for the inadvertent U.S. bombing of fleeing ethnic Albanians rests with the Serbs who forced them to leave

“I ran the government to the best of my honest ability. And I did it for nothing but acknowledgment and love.” Former Pakistani prime minister Benazir Bhutto, twice removed from office for corruption, after she and her husband were found guilty of accepting kickbacks while she was in office and sentenced to five years in prison

“You had the audacity to go on national TV, show the world what you did and dare the prosecution to stop you. Well, sir, consider yourself stopped.” Judge Jessica Cooper, sentencing Dr. Jack Kevorkian to 10 to 25 years in prison for second-degree murder

“I said, ‘Man, why do you want to screw up your life? Take my car. You don’t want to do this.’” O. J. Simpson, on what he told the man who tried to rob the former football star at gunpoint last week

“Starting in this town, in this place, at this hour, we will fight back.” Former vice president Dan Quayle, announcing his bid for the GOP presidential nomination and pledging to end the “dishonest decade” of Bill Clinton and Al Gore

“The court takes no pleasure whatsoever in holding this nation’s president in contempt of court.” Judge Susan Webber Wright, citing Clinton last week for providing “false, misleading and evasive answers” in his deposition in the Paula Jones case

“At the end of the day, you know something? It’s just a movie.” Actor Liam Neeson, who stars in the forthcoming “Star Wars” prequel, on the hype surrounding the project

“I don’t think this is over. But tonight I’m going dancing.” IRS whistle-blower Jennifer Long, after the tax commissioner stopped her pending termination, which she believes is in retaliation for her testimony at 1997 Senate Finance Committee hearings on abuses by IRS agents

“We lost by one vote. We accept defeat.” Indian Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee, after his government lost a no-confidence vote, clearing the way for Italian-born Sonia Gandhi to become prime minister

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Steve Rawson”

“I kept thinking we’d be disconnected and I would never hear his voice again.” Queens, N.Y., butcher Mike Stefanovic, on speaking by phone with his father in Yugoslavia during the bombing

“If they had asked if he committed perjury, I would say yes.” Freda Alexander, forewoman of the Lewinsky grand jury, saying that she would have indicted the president for lying

“I think there’s a couple of levels where it’s just bizarre.” Paul Boden of the Coalition on Homelessness, on a plan supported by San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown to provide that city’s panhandlers with machines to accept credit-card and ATM donations

“Now there’s a dress more famous than my dress.” Monica Lewinsky, on the pink Ralph Lauren gown Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Academy Awards

“The lesson of this opinion is that being head of state does not provide a license to torture.” Pierre Sane of Amnesty International, after Britain’s highest court ruled the extradition proceeding against former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet can continue, despite Pinochet’s argument that he is protected by the traditional immunity granted to heads of state

“You know, most psychiatrists call me a genius.” Los Angeles Laker Dennis Rodman, when asked by NBC sportscaster Jim Gray whether he’d sought any professional help during his four-game absence from the team. Replied Gray: “Maybe they need a little help.”

“That I hate the independent counsel and I want them dead and their children dead? That one?” Whitewater figure Susan McDougal, in an outtake from an interview with ABC’s Diane Sawyer, responding to Sawyer’s question about what message she wanted to deliver. McDougal’s attorneys say the clip was taken out of context.

“People are strange when it comes to sex.” David Brinkley, Pfizer’s director of sexual-health products, reflecting on some of the odd stories he’s heard about his product Viagra in the year it’s been available

“It was too much. I had to go have a pint.” Pulitzer Prize-winning author Frank McCourt, on his first, brief visit to the set on which the movie of his autobiography was being made

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Donna Hollan”

“I don’t trust them. We want to go back, but how? They’ve stolen everything we had.” Refugee Gaymand Darvishe, who was told by Serbian police at the Albanian border that she could remain in Kosovo

“Whatever is happening, you can rest assured it is not to the benefit of these refugees.” Eugene O’Sullivan of the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, after tens of thousands of Kosovars waiting to cross the border into Albania disappeared one night last week

“I know what I did. I’m very sorry for what I did. I am ready to pay for what I did.’’ Russell Henderson, pleading guilty to the kidnapping and murder of 22-year-old gay college student Matthew Shepard

“It’s a sad thing when my husband and I have to take out an atlas to find out where the murder trial of our son is going to take place.’’ New Jersey resident Kathleen Flynn, whose 21-year-old son was killed in the 1988 bombing of Pam Am Flight 103, on the trial of the two Libyans charged with the attack, which will take place in the Netherlands under a deal among the United States, Britain and Libya

“Yes, Bill Clinton is a big flirt. He flirts with men. He flirts with women. He flirts with pets.’’ Former White House press secretary Dee Dee Myers, in a speech at a Montgomery, Ala., college

“For some people, an affiliation with the Kennedys is sort of a life goal.’’ Boston political consultant Dan Payne, on the incentive for Democratic donors to join the “Team 2000” program, one perk of which will be a weekend at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port, Mass.

“I hope you don’t underestimate your own ability to keep secrets, and don’t underestimate the capability of the Chinese people to develop their own technology.’’ Chinese Prime Minister Zhu Rongji, who visited Washington last week despite recent allegations that the Chinese military stole U.S. nuclear secrets

“With what’s been going on in Kosovo, he’s been on my mind a lot more… It’s like if you smell someone’s perfume it reminds you of that person.’’ Monica Lewinsky, who says she’s been thinking about President Clinton a lot recently and is no longer in love with him

“He is one very evasive and wily creature.’’ National Park Service spokesman Earle Kittleman, on the beaver–later determined to have accomplices–that avoided capture long enough to fell four of the famous cherry trees around the Tidal Basin in Washington, D.C., along with five nearby white cedars, and critically wound four other cherry trees

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Jose Avalos”

“The last victim of the fall of the wall is German pacifism.” Stephan Speicher, columnist for the Berliner Zeitung, commenting on German fighter jets going to war for the first time since World War II in the NATO attack on Yugoslavia

“The history of bloodshed remains in people’s hearts; they will not forget.” Bao Tong, former Chinese Central Committee member and prisoner from 1989 to 1996 for supporting Tiananmen protesters, in a recent letter to President Jiang Zemin, Prime Minister Zhu Rongji and members of the Politburo Standing Committee

“This is better than car insurance.” Mario Kempy Avelo, 23, who drove his minivan from La Paz to Copacabana, Bolivia, to have a Franciscan priest bless it for protection against everything from drunken drivers to bad directions

“It’s completely deflated, like me.” Brian Jones, asked about the condition of his balloon after a record-setting nonstop trip around the globe with Dr. Bertrand Piccard, a Swiss psychiatrist

“I also want to thank my parents in Vergaio who gave me the greatest gift: poverty.” Roberto Benigni, director and star of “Life is Beautiful,” in his acceptance speech at the Academy Awards

“The state is the mafia.” James Lilley, former U.S. ambassador to South Korea, on North Korean use of diplomatic pouch to ship drugs

“I absolutely love him.” Freda Alexander, forewoman of the Lewinsky grand jury, saying that she would have voted to indict the president for perjury anyway

“Now there’s a dress more famous than my dress.” Monica Lewinsky, on the pink Ralph Lauren gown Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Academy Awards

“Mickey Mouse, this is Goofy come to see you.” South African President Nelson Mandela, to opposition leader Tony Leon, recovering from heart surgery in the hospital, referring to an angry partisan exchange in which Mandela called the opposition “Mickey Mouse parties” and Leon accused him presiding over a “Goofy government”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Charles Leon”

“It’s a systematic extermination that recalls in a horrible way what was done in the name of Germany at the beginning of World War II.” German Defense Minister Rudolf Scharping, on reports from Kosovo

“What can you do? The man is dead.” Altus, Okla., Police Chief Mike Patterson, on the difficulty of campaigning against his opponent, who died two weeks after the deadline for candidates to withdraw their names from the ballot

“You’ve got to be a bull.’’ New York Stock Exchange chairman Richard Grasso, after the Dow Jones industrial average closed above 10,000 for the first time last Monday

“You are welcome to visit Oregon, but please don’t stay.” The message that would be posted on freeway signs at the state’s borders under a measure proposed by state Sen. John Lim, an advocate of managed growth

“One of the most difficult issues we will face is whether or not members of Congress deserve and should receive a modest increase in salary.” A letter to his colleagues from Sen. Ted Stevens, Republican of Alaska

“I want justice for my son.” Sankarella Diallo, upon arriving in New York from Guinea to witness the arraignment of the four police officers charged with the murder of his son Amadou

“Everyone sure seems to like inexpensive food at the grocery store.” Orchard owner David Carlson, on why many fruit growers hire illegal aliens

“I do not regard this impeachment vote as some great badge of shame.” Clinton, in an interview with CBS’s Dan Rather

“There’s nothing violent about us. We’re a community group that does helping things: cutting firewood, mowing lawns, taking up collections for sick people, that sort of thing.” Roger Kelly, of the Maryland Ku Klux Klan, after the state’s Anne Arundel County shut down its Adopt-a-Road program rather than allow his group to sponsor a stretch of highway

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Ken Williams”

“I don’t trust them. We want to go back, but how? They’ve stolen everything we had.” Refugee Gaymand Darvishe, who was told by Serbian police at the Albanian border that she could remain in Kosovo

“Come on, you’ve won a free train ride–in exchange for your homes.” Serbian soldiers to Kosovars boarding freight cars, according to a report from journalist Antonio Russo, who rode the train with the exiles

“There are tears in their eyes when they cross the border because they think it’s all over. They don’t know they are facing another nightmare.” Dorian Vienneau, of the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, on the agony of being a refugee

“Whatever is happening, you can rest assured it is not to the benefit of the refugees.” Eugene O’Sullivan, of the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, after tens of thousands of Kosovars waiting to cross the border into Albania disappeared in the middle of the night

“Hi, it’s good to be here. We are under the bombing umbrella, but we’re alive. I’m ready to take your questions now!” Arkan, a Serbian leader believed to be responsible for some of the worst atrocities of the Bosnian war, in a recent online chat on MSNBC

“I’m doing everything I can not to go into the army. Everyone is trying not to fight. No one I know wants to die for Slobodan Milosevic, or for this wretched Kosovo.” Zarko, a lawyer in Belgrade

“Ta Ta sweet for the present–your hubby.’’ British soldier Thomas Hughes, who died in World War I, 12 days after writing this last message to his wife, which was found in a bottle by a fisherman 85 years after it was tossed into the sea

“It’s a sad thing when my husband and I have to take out an atlas to find out where the murder trial [of our son’s accused killers] is going to take place.’’ New Jersey resident Kathleen Flynn, whose 21-year-old son was killed in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, on the trial of the two Libyans charged with the attack. The trial will take place in the Netherlands under a deal among the United States, Britain and Libya.

“Making love in cars has its own history and its dignity. Just think of drive-ins.’’ Riccardo Schicchi, manager of Italian porn star Cicciolina, on an Italian court ruling that constitutes car sex as an obscene act, punishable by up to three years in prison

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Jeremy Horton”

“We’re taking direct fire. We’re trapped. They’re all around us. We can’t get out.” The captured Americans’ final radio transmission

“It’s a systematic extermination that recalls in a horrible way what was done in the name of Germany at the beginning of World War II.” German Defense Minister Rudolf Scharping, on reports from Kosovo

“You’ve got to be a bull.” New York Stock Exchange chairman Richard Grasso, after the Dow Jones industrial average closed above 10,000 for the first time last Monday

“I want justice for my son.’’ Sankarella Diallo, upon arriving in New York from Guinea to witness the arraignment of the four police officers charged with the murder of his son Amadou

“I do not regard this impeachment vote as some great badge of shame.” Bill Clinton, in an interview with CBS’s Dan Rather

“We have shown them that Cuban baseball is as good as the baseball in the big leagues.” Jose Fernandez, an electric-company worker, reflecting the pride many Cubans take in their national team despite its 3-2 loss to the Baltimore Orioles

“I will more than crack the whip. I will use the whip.” Olusegun Obasanjo, president-elect of Nigeria, on how he will deal with corruption during his administration

“It’s boring. My ma says I can learn more earning money on the street.” Du Renming, a 12-year-old pickpocket in China, on why he no longer goes to school

“On my mother’s side were very strong Irish Protestants. I married a Catholic, although I am Church of England. We are about to enter the 21st century. Do these things really have to pull people apart?” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on his religious background

“I am a mix of three things: good luck, dullness and perseverance. And I’m going to keep on plugging along with those same characteristics.” Japanese Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi, poking fun at his lack of charisma

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Sharon Nelson”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Robert Young”

“There are times, you know, when, good God, I’d authorize any means to achieve a goal abroad.’’ President Nixon, in a transcript from his secret White House taping system first released last week, discussing his authorization of a 1972 break-in of the Chilean Embassy in Washington

“She is a woman, after all. Rattling rockets and bombs–it is simply against nature.” Russian Communist Party leader Gennady Zyuganov, arguing that Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is bringing shame to the world’s female population by frequently advocating the use of military force

“This is crazy, because this is hip-hop music.” Lauryn Hill, who became the first rap artist to win the best-album Grammy award. Hill was expected to make a strong showing at the awards show, despite its stodgy image.

“Me and Derek Jeter are employed by the same people now?” Jayson Williams, power forward on the hapless New Jersey Nets, after learning that his team plans to enter a joint-operating agreement with the storied New York Yankees

“Whoever designed the streets must have been drunk … I think it was those Irish guys.” Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, on the confusing streets of St. Paul, Minn. He later apologized.

“Somewhere along the line, he traded the good book for the bank book.” Prosecutor Bill Loughery, in his closing argument against the Rev. Henry Lyons, president of the National Baptist Convention USA, who was later convicted on corruption charges last weekend

“You might call them dog terrorists.” New York City Parks Commissioner Henry Stern, announcing stiff fines against those who allow their dogs to roam free in city parks, the latest effort in Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s quality-of-life campaign

“He got stuck on one step: he couldn’t cross that one leg over the other.” April Ryan, White House correspondent for the American Urban Radio Network, on her more-or-less successful attempt to teach Vice President Al Gore “the Booty Call,” a popular line dance, aboard Air Force Two en route home from South Africa

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Donnie Mccarthy”

“The Bush campaign hit a ‘bump in the road.’ I think it tore out the transmission.” Insurgent Republican presidential candidateJohn McCain,at a rally in a South Carolina restaurant

“I miss my family.” Janis Ost-Ford,36, who lost five relatives in the crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 off the coast of southern California

“We were all most appreciative of the cooperation we received. Students were very cooperative and very respectful, except for the man who mooned me.” Sue Wasiolek,Duke University assistant vice president for student affairs, assessing the scene on campus after the school’s basketball team defeated the University of North Carolina

“There is no statute of limitations on a moral obligation.” Oklahoma state Rep.Don Ross,supporting a commission that recommended that reparations be made to black survivors of the 1921 Tulsa race riot, one of the nation’s bloodiest

“We’re bringing back old-fashioned, smash-mouth football…” World Wrestling Federation chairman and master marketerVince McMahon,announcing plans for the XFL, an alternative professional football league to be launched in eight U.S. cities next year

“It takes twice as good a man to have two wives as it does to have one. If you have three wives, it takes five times as good a man to do it–if you’re going to have harmony in your family.” Grandfather of modern-day polygamyOwen Allred,86, father of 23 children and husband to eight women, a target of lawmakers trying to polish Utah’s image before the 2002 Olympic Winter Games

“Let her do what she wants. And when she loses, I think she’ll feel very badly.” Former First LadyBarbara Bush,on U.S. Senate candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton from New York

“We don’t need it.” Belgian Foreign MinisterLouis Michel,referring to Austria’s place in the European Union, in a statement indicating his displeasure with the rise of Jorg Haider’s rightist, anti-immigrant Freedom Party, which was sworn in as part of a new government despite massive international opposition

“I heard my words even when my lips weren’t moving.” Republican presidential-race dropoutGary Bauer,suggesting that his conservative ideas caught on with the other candidates, if not the voters

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Gaynell Hill”

“We don’t need it.” Belgian Foreign MinisterLouis Michel,referring to Austria’s presence in the European Union. Michel spoke after the Austrian People’s Party welcomed Jorg Haider and his far-right, anti-immigrant Freedom Party as a partner, despite threats from many European governments that they would not do business with a coalition that includes Haider.

“I just don’t know what New Labour is.” Former British Defence ministerPeter Kilfoyle,after he resigned to protest Tony Blair’s failure to stand up for the “heartlands of Labour”

“I think he’s wrong, I think there is a purpose and the purpose is clear, actually; it’s to create a much fairer Britain.” Parliamentary Labour Party chairmanClive Soley,defending Blair’s middle-of-the-road Third Way

“New Hampshire has long been known as a bump in the road for front runners, and this year is no exception.” Republican presidential hopefulGeorge W. Bush,after suffering a huge primary-election defeat in New Hampshire, where voters take a certain pleasure in tripping front runners

“The Bush campaign hit a ‘bump in the road.’ I think it tore out the transmission.” Insurgent Republican presidential candidateJohn McCain,speaking to supporters at a restaurant in South Carolina, which hosts a primary on Feb. 19

“I miss my family.” Janis Ost-Ford,36, who lost five of her relatives on Alaska Airlines Flight 261, which crashed with 88 people on board last week after the crew lost control of the plane off the coast of southern California. There were no survivors.

“It takes twice as good a man to have two wives as it does to have one. If you have three wives, it takes five times as good a man to do it–if you’re going to have harmony in your family.” Grandfather of modern-day polygamyOwen Allred,86, father of 23 children and husband to eight women, a target of lawmakers trying to polish Utah’s image before the 2002 Winter Olympic Games

“Let her do what she wants. And when she loses, I think she’ll feel very badly.” Former First LadyBarbara Bush,on U.S. Senate candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton

“We would have had a civil war in Venezuela. Thank God, the Feb. 4 uprising took place.” Venezuelan PresidentHugo Chavez,boasting that his 1992 coup attempt would be remembered “until the year 5000.” The left-wing populist seeks a sweep of all parliamentary seats for his “revolutionary” followers in May elections.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Percy Branstetter”

“With the people of Israel watching, I bow in humility before those murdered, before those who don’t have graves where I could ask them for forgiveness.” German PresidentJohannes Rau,who spoke the first German words in Israel’s Knesset during a speech in which he asked for forgiveness for Nazi atrocities that killed 6 million Jews in the Holocaust

“There are laws that don’t let people have their own lives, and we will try to change that.” Mohammed Reza Khatami,leader of the reformist’s parliamentary ticket and brother of the Iranian president on what his party hopes to accomplish in a changing Iran

“I can’t put it back if only one part goes back on the track–it has to be all the parts.” Irish Prime MinisterBertie Ahern,on the breakdown of the Northern Ireland peace talks and suspension of the Northern Ireland government

“You train for that, you prepare for that. There’s nothing aggressive about that.” A senior Indian officer on the war games India conducted last week 60 miles away from the Pakistani border

“This has been the best 25 hours and 19 minutes of my life so far.” Michael Kobrick,NASA scientist at Houston’s Mission Control, describing his reaction to the preliminary results of the space shuttle Endeavor’s groundbreaking mission to map Earth in never-before-seen detail

“We won’t know the real extent of the damage until an evaluation can be carried out in spring. But we know already that the rehabilitation of the river will take decades.” A report from the World Wide Fund for Nature on the catastrophic cyanide spill in Romania that has contaminated the Tisza and Danube Rivers, killing scores of fish in Yugoslavia, Romania and Hungary

“But there was no way the church could lift the heretic label. Bruno contested the Virgin Mary and said Jesus was a wizard.” Giuseppe Martelli,a teacher and labor-union organizer explaining why the Roman Catholic Church issued a statement last week saying it “regretted” burning Giordano Bruno, an Italian 16th-century rationalist and philosopher, but stopped short of apologizing as it did for condemning Galileo as a heretic

“I think we’ve moved from the permafrost into slightly softer ground.’’ NATO Secretary GeneralGeorge Roberston,on the current state of relations between the alliance and Russia since the conflict in Kosovo

“It took something like this to make the Miss America pageant look good to me.” Patricia Ireland,president of the National Organization for Women, referring to the would-be brides on parade during the Fox Network’s special “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Gregory Connelly”

“Leave me alone.” Six-year-oldElian Gonzalez,lashing out at supporters outside his home after an emotional reunion with his grandmothers

“This is preservation month. I appreciate preservation. It’s what you do when you run for president. You’ve got to preserve.” Presidential candidateGeorge W. Bush,praising students at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H., for their “theme of the month,” which was actually perseverance

“We don’t want to give people a logo that stretches under their armpits.” Eddie White,a vice president at Logo Athletic Inc. of Indianapolis, describing the challenge that the string of Roman numerals presents in designing Super Bowl XXXIV merchandise

“’[B]ad hair’ negatively influences self-esteem, brings out social insecurities, and causes people to concentrate on the negative aspects of themselves.” Yale University psychology professorMarianne LaFrance,in a study titled “The Psychological, Interpersonal and Social Effects of Bad Hair,” paid for by shampoo giant Procter & Gamble

“I’ve seen enough killing in my life. I know how precious human life is, and I don’t need a lecture from you.” Republican presidential hopefulJohn McCain,a former prisoner of war in Vietnam, chastising Alan Keyes, another Republican candidate, who questioned McCain’s understanding of the abortion issue

“There’s this unknowable quality that lurks in the atmosphere at all times. Sometimes it manifests itself in a noticeable error, like today.” Pennsylvania State University meteorologistFred Gadomski,admitting that, even with sophisticated computer modeling, it’s impossible to always predict the severity of storms

“Like the [Millennium] Dome and the monarchy, it would be a sign that Britain is a country that is refusing to grow up.” BiographerAnthony Holden,dismissing “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” by J. K. Rowling, as a serious candidate for a top literary prize, which Seamus Heaney’s translation of “Beowulf” won by one vote

“I’m probably the most normal, down-to-earth human being you’ve ever seen.” Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner,the ex-wife of jailed televangelist Jim Bakker, discussing the documentary “The Eyes of Tammy Faye,” which is screening at the Sundance Film Festival

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Jimmy Sisson”

“No people ever inflicted such suffering as your people on mine in such a short period. Until the end of time, Auschwitz is part of your history and mine.” SurvivorElie Wiesel,urging Germans to face up to their country’s Nazi past, at the dedication of a Holocaust memorial site in Berlin

“My fellow Americans, the state of our union is the strongest it has ever been.” PresidentClinton,delivering the opening remarks in his 89-minute State of the Union address, the last of his presidency, in the House chamber

“It is turning into the little currency that couldn’t.” Ann Mills,senior foreign economist at Brown Brothers Harriman, on the euro’s decline in value to less than $1

“Leave me alone.” Six-year-oldElian Gonzalez,who lashed out at supporters camped outside his home after an emotional reunion with his grandmothers

“Like the [Millennium] Dome and the monarchy, it would be a sign that Britain is a country that is refusing to grow up.” BiographerAnthony Holden,on why he voted against giving the Whitbread literary prize to J. K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.” Holden voted instead for Seamus Heaney’s translation of “Beowulf,” which won by one vote.

“This is preservation month. I appreciate preservation. It’s what you do when you run for president. You’ve got to preserve.” Presidential candidateGeorge W. Bush,praising students at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H., for their “theme of the month,” which was actually perseverance

“’[B]ad hair’ negatively influences self-esteem, brings out social insecurities, and causes people to concentrate on the negative aspects of themselves.” Yale University psychology professorMarianne LaFrance,in her newly released study titled “The Psychological, Interpersonal and Social Effects of Bad Hair,” paid for by shampoo giant Procter & Gamble

“This is a time of choice for the republican movement. It cannot continue to claim to act on behalf of the people of Ireland while defying their clearly expressed will that decommissioning happen now.” Roman Catholic politicianSeamus Mallon,on the Irish Republican Army’s refusal to lay down its arms

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Lynn Alfaro”

“Thursday, California could have dropped into the Pacific Ocean in one rumbling crash. Tidal waves could have turned Florida into a sandbar the width of your driveway. George W. Bush and John McCain could have called a press conference to announce their upcoming marriage. And nobody in Cincinnati would have noticed.” Howard Wilkinson,of The Cincinnati Enquirer, in one of 21 stories that the newspaper dedicated to the Reds’s acquisition of former Seattle Mariners superstar Ken Griffey Jr.

“The song encourages young people to use drugs and masturbate.” New York MayorRudolph Giuliani,on a Rochester, N.Y., radio station, referring to “Captain Jack,” a Billy Joel tune about the perils of drug use, that was inadvertently played on a public-address system before rival Hillary Rodham Clinton’s Senate campaign kickoff speech

“It sounded like firecrackers to me. There was a pause. Then there were more pronounced shots. Then I hit the floor.” Lavonne Clarke,a nurse who heard police shoot Amadou Diallo from an apartment across the street, recalling the rapid-fire event as a witness in the trial of four New York City police officers charged with murdering the unarmed man

“They’ve bought the BMW and they have the $3 million Mill Valley house. And they still wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t feel good about myself’.” Bay Area psychologistStephen Goldbart,co-founder of the Money, Meaning & Choices Institute, highlighting the perils of Sudden Wealth Syndrome, an affliction affecting many of the info-tech economy’s nouveau riche

“What is more immoral than taxing people just because they fall in love?” Tillie Fowler,Republican representative of Florida, referring to a GOP House bill that would cut taxes for married couples by $182 billion over the next decade

“You just have that bovine sense of calm.” Pat Piper,a 32-year-old aspiring doctor at Loyola University in Chicago, explaining the spirituality he gains from chewing smokeless tobacco, a stealth trend among office workers whose employers have cracked down on smoking

“Technically speaking, these attacks are one step up from spray paint on the highway overpass.” Paul Saffo,of the Institute for the Future, a technology consultancy in Silicon Valley, describing the low-tech nature of the “denial of service” bombardments that wreaked havoc on many of the Web’s most most popular sites

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Jacqueline Serrato”

“When Buddy Holly died, they always said it was the day the music died. Well, with Schulz’s death, it is just like the day the laughter died.” Longtime “Peanuts” fanMay Kobold,of Santa Rosa, Calif., mourning creator Charles Schulz

“You can’t have it both ways in the political process. You can’t take the high horse and then claim the low road.” Republican presidential candidateGeorge W. Bush,attacking rival John McCain for waging a negative campaign

“He believed there was no way they could ever be apart.” Wendy Kunselman,mother of Nick Kunselman, 15, a Columbine High School sophomore killed in a sandwich shop with his girlfriend, Stephanie Hart, 16

“After having done CNN and the Superstation, winning the America’s Cup in 1977 and the ‘95 World Series with the Atlanta Braves, I feel that I can do just about anything. Except have a successful marriage.” Multibillionaire and Time Warner vice chairmanTed Turner,twice divorced and currently separated from wife Jane Fonda

“With the people of Israel watching, I bow in humility before those murdered, before those who don’t have graves where I could ask them for forgiveness.” German PresidentJohannes Rau,who spoke the first German words in Israel’s Knesset during a speech in which he asked for forgiveness for Nazi atrocities that killed 6 million Jews

“I don’t like any female comedians… A woman doing comedy doesn’t offend me, but sets me back a bit… I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.” Jerry Lewis,at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colo., where he was the subject of a tribute that followed awards given to female comedians

“When you spend your time on the Internet, you don’t hear a human voice and you never get a hug.” Norman Nie,a political scientist at Stanford University and principal investigator for a study on the negative social consequences of America’s online obsession

“Personally, I would like to see more porn on the Internet.” A comment posted during a CNN online chat with Bill Clinton, formatted to look like the president’s words, a day before a major White House meeting on computer security

“I’m trying.” Tiger Woods,when asked by his caddie to “just hit a fairway” during Woods’s subpar performance at the Buick Invitational, his first loss in six tournaments

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Donald Rogers”

“In our country, vodka is a purchase of the highest importance. Russians will never skimp on vodka–they’ll just eat less.” Dmitry Dovchenko,director of a Moscow liquor store, predicting the likely response of most of his countrymen to the 30 percent increase in the minimum price of vodka at the end of February, announced by government officials last week

“Putin’s going to lose a lot of votes to the communists because of this.” Alexei Dokchus,as he emerged from a store outside a Moscow vodka factory carrying 30 bottles he waited in line for three hours to purchase before prices go up at the end of the month

“Isn’t the captain supposed to go down with the ship? Or [are we] trained for such situations for no real reason?” An airline pilot commenting on the cockpit crew’s daring escape from the hijacked Afghan jet in Britan whose 152 passengers were finally released last Thursday

“Technically speaking, these attacks are one step up from spray paint on the highway overpass.” Paul Saffo,of the Institute for the Future, a technology consultancy in Silicon Valley, describing the low-tech nature of the “denial of service” bombardments that wreaked havoc on many of the Web’s most popular sites

“That great sucking sound you hear is the sound of the media’s lips coming off of John McCain’s…” Marvin Bush,brother of Republican presidential hopeful George W, after being introduced to the traveling press corps on a flight from Greenville to Columbia, S.C.

“I don’t want to clear out the plane.” Vice PresidentAl Gore,who narrated Aaron Copland’s “Lincoln Portrait” at Lincoln Center, when later asked by reporters aboard his plane for a sampling of his singing talents

“For the first time in their marriage… he’s the cheerleader and she’s on the field.” Mitchell Moss,New York University political scientist, just before Hillary Rodham Clinton officially declared her candidacy for the U.S. Senate while President Clinton stood in the background

“It sounded like firecrackers to me. There was a pause. Then there were more pronounced shots. Then I hit the floor.” Lavonne Clarke,a nurse who heard police shoot Amadou Diallo from an apartment across the street, recalling the rapid-fire event as a witness in the trial of four New York City police officers charged with murdering the unarmed man

“The guy’s a champion, and he’s proving it every week.” Former Stanford University golfer,Notah Begay III,after former teammate Tiger Woods won his sixth consecutive tournament on the PGA, leaving him just five wins shy of the sport’s 11 consecutive wins record set in 1945

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Dawn Plunk”

“Success is danger, and failure is not.” Zeev Chafetz, a columnist for the Jerusalem Report, on the difficulty of reaching an agreement between Israel and the Palestinian Authority

“We are the first democratic government in Mexico. This gives us the moral authority, the democratic legitimacy.” Mexico’s President-elect Vicente Fox, on his National Action Party’s victory over Francisco Labastida and the long-ruling Institutional Revolutionary Party

“I think I would like to be a better dancer.” Al Gore, known for his stiffness both on and off the dance floor

“He’s going to corner those people… He’s going to murder them and then go have a glass of vodka.” North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, on Russian President Vladimir Putin’s military campaign against Chechnya

“I wish reporters would ask me more about what’s in my head and less about what’s between my legs.” Vermont’s Karen Kerin, the first openly transgender candidate for Congress

“It’s not been the greatest day, let’s put it like that.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who recently called for a crackdown on drunken hooligans, on having his 16-year-old son picked up for being “drunk and incapable” in Leicester Square

“We failed to achieve an intercept.” Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman on the second failed test of a U.S. missile inceptor–the first step toward constructing the controversial $36 billion national antiballistic-missile defense system

“If you asked me, life or death, ‘You’ve got to tell me how big the tax cut is that George is proposing,’ I couldn’t tell you. I don’t give a damn. Because I’m out of it.” Former president George Bush in a New York Times interview about his son’s presidential campaign

“I kept wondering, ‘Where are the slaves? Who’s picking the cotton?’ " Director Spike Lee, on his reaction to the Revolutionary War epic “The Patriot”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Mabel Thompson”

“Since the Olympic Games scandal, public opinion has lost all its illusions about the integrity of numerous sporting chiefs.” German newspaper Suddeutsche Zeitung, on the bribery allegations surrounding FIFA’s decision to grant the 2006 World Cup to Germany over the heavily favored South Africa

“We are the first democratic government in Mexico. This gives us the moral authority, the democratic legitimacy.” Mexico’s President-elect Vicente Fox, on his National Action Party’s victory over Francisco Labastida and the long-ruling Institutional Revolutionary Party

“I kept wondering, ‘Where are the slaves? Who’s picking the cotton?’ " Director Spike Lee, on his reaction to the Revolutionary War epic “The Patriot”

“We failed to achieve an intercept.” Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman, on the second failed test of a U.S. missile inceptor–the first step toward constructing the controversial $36 billion nationalantiballistic-missile-defense system

“There are a lot of young staff who mistakenly think that they are working just by sitting at their keyboards all day long.” Mayor Mitsuyasu Ota, of Hirata, Japan, explaining the reasoning behind his bid to make every Friday a computer-free day in his town’s government offices

“People who can’t switch off from the world for just two hours deserve our pity.” Luis Yabiko, sponsor of a new law in Campinas, Brazil, under which mobile-phone users will be ejected from movie theaters, libraries and classrooms

“He’s going to corner those people… He’s going to murder them and then go and have a glass of vodka.” North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, on Russian President Vladimir Putin’s military campaign against Chechnya

“We don’t want people to think of just basketball, baseball and hockey–they should think of cricket, too.” Ken Podzib, New York’s sports commissioner, on developers’ plans to build a $30 million cricket stadium in Brooklyn

“I think I would like to be a better dancer.” Al Gore, known for his stiffness both on and off the dance floor, when asked by a reporter which of his characteristics he would most like to change

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Wendy Hoyt”

“I’m confident that justice is being done.” George W. Bush, on the execution of Gary Graham, whose 1981 murder conviction by a Texas jury was based on the testimony of a single eyewitness

“This is what happens to black men in America.” Gary Graham, speaking minutes before his execution

Resist, my dear Christians. The forces of globalization and religious marginalization are out to get us.” Greek Orthodox Archbishop Christodoulos, protesting against the Greek government’s decision to remove religious affiliations from identity cards

“Pilot error.” The cause of John F. Kennedy Jr.’s plane crash, as reported last week by NBC, according to the forthcoming findings of the National Transportation Safety Board’s investigation

“I couldn’t run backward. I had to run forward. That’s the job of a soldier.” Barney Hajiro, an 83-year-old Asian-American soldier, denying heroism after being awarded the Medal of Honor for services performed as a member of the U.S. 442d Regimental Combat Team during World War II

“If you want a silver medal, you should not write to the head of the country on such a piece of paper and with mistakes.” Nikolai Sych, head of education in the region of Vologda, reacting to a Russian schoolgirl’s letter, in which she failed to capitalize one letter and missed an exclamation mark

“What sort of girl do you think I am?” Monica Lewinsky, responding to a reporter’s suggestionthat she reacquire and sell the infamous blue dress

“I’m even thinking about a feather boa.” Al Gore, on his emerging friendship with Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura

“Nothing should be rushed, because too often when we rush to justice, we don’t get it.” U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno, on the possibility of a special-counsel investigation into Al Gore’s 1996 fund-raising activities

“When it’s complete, firstgov will serve as a single point of entry to one of the largest, perhaps the most useful, collection of Web pages in the entire world.” U.S. President Bill Clinton, in his first Saturday Webcast to the nation, referring to a new Web site allowing access to every online resource offered by the U.S. government

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Anna Collins”

“We are very happy to be going home.” Juan Miguel Gonzalez, on the end of the seven-month custody battle over his son Elian

“I want to eat your children.” Mike Tyson, to world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis after Tyson knocked out Lou Savarese in 38 seconds

“He’ll have to eat my right and my left hand first.” Lewis, who has no children, responding to the onetime ear muncher

“The church has tried everything to improve relations with the Jews. But they don’t forgive us the slightest thing.” Vatican official Msgr. Carlos Liberati, on Jewish opposition to the scheduled beatification of Pius IX, the 19th-century pope who abducted a 6-year-old from his Jewish parents and raised him in Rome as a Catholic

“It’s not like there’s going to be a huge caravan going north to Vermont.” David Elliot, spokesman for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, on the state’s law allowing gay couples to participate in licensed “civil unions”

“I’ll be your straight man.” Bill Clinton, on his willingness to appear in ads with former presidential foe and E.D. spokesman Bob Dole

“You don’t expect this to happen here. You think you’re in a fantasy land.” Disney World visitor Rhonda Powell, on the man who held his son and a waiter hostage for 10 hours in one of the resort’s hotels while demanding to speak with his estranged wife

“Ralph is going to fertilize our natural strengths.” Longtime Green Party member Ross Mirkarimi, on the party’s decision to nominate Ralph Nader for president of the United States

“I am trying to convince everyone that the secret to world happiness lies in fat women.” Dr. James Watson, who helped discover the structureof DNA, on his belief that happiness is produced by chemical levels that increase with a person’s size

“The first complete sentence my son uttered was ‘More Dr. Dre’.” Expatriate actor John Malkovich, on the aspects of American culture he has not barred from his home in the south of France

“It will show people that she has had a huge impact on our culture already.” Rajiv Doshi, founder of a Britney Spears fan Web site, on plans to build a Britney museum in the teen star’s hometown of Kentwood, La.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Ernesto Scoby”

“They had already shot him five times. They didn’t have to beat him.” Tracey Jones, on the Philadelphia police officers who were captured on video kicking and hitting her brother, Thomas, to subdue him after a shoot-out and 20-minute car chase

“This trade agreement is absolutely necessary if Vietnam wants to be connected to a globalized world.” Thomas Vallely, a Vietnam expert at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, on the recently approved trade deal between Vietnam and the United States

“I think that’s why they killed Jesus, for being a communist.” Raul Castro, Fidel’s brother and second in command of Cuba’s ruling Communist Party, on Jesus’ leftist leanings

“This in effect makes matrimony an option for Christian people.” Gordon Charlton, a retired Texas bishop, on the Episcopal Church’s decision to support congregation members in monogamous relationships–a resolution widely understood as an attempt to make the church responsive to gay couples

“The stained-glass ceiling has been pierced.” The Rev. Vashti Murphy McKenzie , after being named the first female bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal Church

“This industry has left a half-century trail of deceit which has decimated millions of Americans.” Stanley Rosenblatt, the attorney representing smokers in Florida’s class-action lawsuit against Big Tobacco, on the jury’s decision to make the companies pay almost $145 billion in punitive damages

“Mr. Rosenblatt does not seek truth, does not seek justice; he only seeks money.” Dan Webb, attorney for Philip Morris, arguing that the record-breaking award “makes a mockery” of the trial

“Getting the right [eyebrow] shape… can transform your look, your eyes and possibly your life.” Makeup artist Robyn Cosio, on the transformative powers of a well-tweezed brow

“This puts Brazilian science in a new light.” Dr. Andrew Simpson, a lead researcher from the Organization for Nucleotide Sequencing and Analysis, on the breakthough by a So Paulo-based consortium that has just decoded the first genome for Xylella fastidiosa, a bacterium that causes disease in plants

“It’s a ketchup [kids] can call their own.” Heinz representative Deb Magness, on the company’s newly unveiled green version of the condiment

“I’d move to Los Angeles if Australia and New Zealand were swallowed up by a huge tidal wave, if there was a bubonic plague in England and if the continent of Africa disappeared from some Martian attack.” Aussie actor Russell Crowe, making it clear that even new flame Meg Ryan, the soon-to-be former Mrs. Dennis Quaid, cannot induce him to live in L.A.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Timothy Warren”

“The church has tried everything to improve relations with the Jews. But they don’t forgive us the slightest thing.” Vatican official Msgr. Carlos Liberati, on Jewish opposition to the scheduled beatification of Pius IX, the 19th-century pope who abducted a 6-year-old from his Jewish parents and raised him in Rome as a Catholic

“It’s not like there’s going to be a huge caravan going north to Vermont.’’ David Elliot, spokesman for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, on the state’s law that went into effect last week allowing gay couples to participate in licensed “civil unions”

“Today we are learning the language in which God created life.” President Bill Clinton, on the completion of the human-genome map

“None of my friends have it. It’s just wonderful.” Laura Cantwell, an 8-year-old from Fairfax, Va., on winding up with the new Harry Potter book, which was accidentally placed on a store bookshelf prior to its July 8 release

“I want to eat your children.” Mike Tyson, challenging world heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis after knocking out Lou Savarese in the first round

“He’ll have to eat my right hand and left hand first.’’ Lewis, who has no children, responding to the onetime ear muncher

“I am trying to convince everyone that the secret to world happiness lies in fat women.’’ Dr. James Watson, who helped discover the structure of DNA, on his belief that happiness is produced by chemical levels that increase with a person’s size

“You don’t expect this to happen here. You think you’re in a fantasy land.” Disney World visitor Rhonda Powell, on the man who held his own son and a waiter hostage for 10 hours in a resort hotel as he demanded to speak with his estranged wife

“Ralph is going to fertilize our natural strengths.’’ Longtime Green Party member Ross Mirkarimi, on the party’s decision to nominate Ralph Nader for president of the United States

“It will show people that she has had a huge impact on our culture already.’’ Ravij Doshi, founder of a Britney Spears fan Web site, on plans to build a Britney museum in the teen star’s hometown of Kentwood, La.

“The old era of gross invasion of privacy has gone, and I will play no part in bringing it back.” David Yelland, editor of The Sun, Britain’s largest-selling tabloid daily, after the Press Complaints Commission last week urged newspapers to exercise continued restraint in their coverage of Prince William

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Betsy Blocker”

“Mr. Rosenblatt does not seek truth, does not seek justice; he only seeks money.” Dan Webb, attorney for Philip Morris, arguing that the record-breaking award “makes a mockery” of the trial

“Welcome to the daily press blackout.” State Department spokesman Richard Boucher, on the secrecy shrouding the peace talks between Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat

“Those children should be alive today, would be alive, but for the actions of a man who thought he was Jesus Christ.” U.S. attorney J. Michael Bradford, on the jury finding that federal officials were not liable for the deaths of nearly 80 Branch Davidians during the Waco, Texas, debacle

“They had already shot him five times. They didn’t have to beat him.” Tracey Jones, on the Philadelphia police officers who were captured on video kicking and hitting her brother, Thomas, to subdue him after a shoot-out and 20-minute car chase

“Our party is strongest when we’re unified, when we speak with one voice.” Defeated presidential contender Bill Bradley, endorsing former foe Al Gore

“The stained-glass ceiling has been pierced.” The Rev. Vashti Murphy McKenzie, after being named the first female bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal Church

Getting the right [eyebrow] shape… can transform your look, your eyes and possibly your life.” Makeup artist Robyn Cosio, on the transformative powers of a well-tweezed brow

“We’ll be the only state in the union that has a governor living in a double-wide.” Arkansas resident Robin Louk, on news that Gov. Mike Huckabee will live in a trailer while the governor’s mansion is renovated

“They say a picture is worth a thousand words. It might be worth a vice presidential nomination.” The Rev. Al Sharpton, who has long alleged that the state of New Jersey engages in racial profiling, on a recently released photograph of New Jersey governor and vice presidential hopeful Christine Todd Whitman frisking a black man in 1996

“We must find a way to honor same-sex relationships.” The Rt. Rev. Chip Marble, on the Episcopal Church’s carefully worded resolution to support people in monogamous relationships, not just married couples

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Ronald Monroe”

“This is what happens to black men in America.” Gary Graham, speaking minutes before his execution

We’ve been litigating school prayer for 40 years, and I expect it will be litigated for another 40.” Jay Sekulow, attorney for the Santa Fe Independent School District, on the Supreme Court’s decision to ban voluntary prayer at high-school football games

“I’m even thinking about a feather boa.” Al Gore, on his emerging friendship with Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura

“What sort of girl do you think I am?” Monica Lewinsky, responding to a reporter’s suggestionthat she reacquire and sell the infamous blue dress

“Nothing should be rushed, because too often when we rush to justice, we don’t get it.” Attorney General Janet Reno, on the possibility of a special-counsel investigation into Al Gore’s 1996 fund-raising activities

“You will never again receive the support of the Senate of the United States for any office.” West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, to Energy Secretary Bill Richardson, during congressional hearings on security breaches at the Los Alamos, N.M., weapons lab

“There was just piles and piles of bodies. It was absolutely sickening.” A British Customs officer, on discovering the remains of 58 illegal Chinese immigrants–all of whom suffocated–in the back of a truck from Belgium

“This is a pack-your-bags decision.” Pamela Falk, international-law professor at the City University of New York, on the federal appeals court’s refusal to reconsider the Elian Gonzalez case, leaving the Supreme Court as the Miami relatives’ only hope of keeping the boy in the United States

“I’m trying to open a business on the Internet.” Longtime Chicago cabdriver Emmanuel Philogene, seeking alternate employment in light of soaring gas prices

“Pilot error.” The cause of John F. Kennedy Jr.’s plane crash, as reported last week by NBC, according to the forthcoming findings of the National Transportation Safety Board’s investigation

“I don’t think he has the guts to get on this train… He may be able to pull this stuff down South, but this is New York.” New Yorker Robert Illa, on John Rocker’s promise to ride the No. 7 subway line to Shea Stadium during this week’s Braves-Mets series

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Beverly Fisher”

“If we can eradicate smallpox, put men on the moon and decipher the human genome, surely we can learn to stop killing each other.” Stephen Smith, cofounder of the Genocide Prevention Research Initiative, which has brought together academics from around the globe to research the causes of genocide and suggest prevention strategies for the future

“We’ve tried 40 years of isolation. It has not worked. The will of the House is that we take this incremental step.” Republican representative Mark Sanford, on the U.S. House of Representatives’ approval of measures to bar the Treasury Department from enforcing travel restrictions, as well as the sale of food and medicines, to Cuba

“Ministers and deputy ministers are the biggest culprits. Backbenchers seem to obey the rules.” Zambian Chief Whip Vernom Mwaanga, on his national Parliament’s decision to crack down on M.P.s who bring mobile phones into Parliament sessions and disrupt proceedings

“The tragedy at Waco rests with certain Branch Davidians and their leader, David Koresh.” Special Counsel John C. Danforth, on finding that the FBI and U.S. government were not to blame for the deaths of 80 members of the Branch Davidian cult in the 1993 Waco siege

“This is like riding a roller coaster. Every minute is different from the last.” Israeli Immigration Minister Yuli Tamir, on the stalled but ongoing Mideast peace talks

“As long as there are negotiations, there is hope to clinch a deal.” Hassan Abdel-Rahman, the Palestine Liberation Organization’s Washington representative, on the chance of reaching agreement on the most volatile issues–including control of Jerusalem

“I was there and [Hillary] never said it. In 29 years, my wife has never, ever, uttered an ethnic or racial slur against anybody, ever.” Bill Clinton, to the New York Daily News, denying reports in Jerry Oppenheimer’s “State of a Union” that Mrs. Clinton (who also denies it) once used a Jewish slur to describe a top aide

“No, you can’t kill your ancestors.” Raymond Chiao, a Berkeley physics professor, on the time-travel limitations of the discovery that light pulses can, in fact, travel faster than the speed of light

“What you try to do in any tournament is not make a mistake.” Strategist golfer Tiger Woods, who won the U.S. Open by a record-setting 15 strokes last month, on his play in the British Open–where a win would make him the youngest player ever to win all four major golf tournaments

“It’s put him off Burger King for life.” Adele Coulter, aunt of 2-year-old Toby Sharpe, to the BBC, on her nephew’s alleged discovery of a deep-fried lizard in his portion of Burger King french fries in Halifax, England

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Benjamin Foley”

“The first was too hot, the second too cold and the third just right.” Al Gore, comparing his performance in the three presidential debates to porridge in “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”

“I thought he was gonna hit George.” Barbara Bush, on Gore’s stage-stalking during the last debate

“We now have before us an additional opportunity to get back on track towards stability, coexistence and cooperation. I expect that our Palestinian neighbors share this hope with us.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, on the Sharm al-Sheikh agreement attempting, so far unsuccessfully, to defuse the mounting Arab-Israeli violence

“The people are rebelling. Their blood is boiling. They won’t listen to Arafat. What did we get from this summit? Nothing.” Jawdat Odeh, a Palestinian construction worker, one day after the agreement was announced

“I thought you were talking about a sandwich shop.” Stephanie Netolicky, of Ankeny, Iowa, when asked about the Subway Series

“When all his friends were collecting baseball cards, he was collecting stories about Missouri governors.” Gary Stangler, who recently retired as Missouri’s Social Services director, on the death of Missouri Gov. Mel Carnahan. The lifelong politician, who was locked in a close Senate race, died in a plane crash while en route to a campaign stop.

“I personally feel the Bible says all people are equal in the eyes of God. I personally feel that women should play an absolutely equal role in service of Christ in the church.” Former president Jimmy Carter, announcing that he is cutting ties with the Southern Baptist Convention over its treatment of women

“We’ll be lucky [if] we don’t get beat up on the first day.” Adalberto Lara, a part-time bus driver for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Transportation Authority, on returning to work after a 32-day strike

“This is an impressive crowd–the haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base.” George W. Bush, trading jokes and barbs with Gore during the Archdiocese of New York’s annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Martha Mader”

“It was their cheering that kept me going.” Twenty-two-year-old swimmer Eric Moussambani of Equatorial Guinea, on his now famous “dash” to the finish line in his 100-meter freestyle heat. Moussambani had never swum that long a race before; his time was more than a minute longer than the fastest swimmers. He won the heat because the other competitors had been disqualified for false starts.

“I have a mandate to govern and I will continue governing. A transition government? There is no way I will permit that.” Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori, who plunged the nation into chaos by announcing that he will step down as president, but insisting he will continue to rule until the next leader is officially inaugurated

“Evidence was insufficient to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that either President or Mrs. Clinton knowingly participated in any criminal conduct.” Independent counsel Robert Ray, in closing the six-year, $52 million Whitewater investigation

“[The chancellor] is damaged goods and his position is untenable.” Conservative opposition M.P. Michael Portillo, calling for the resignation of British Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown, who Portillo claims lied about donations to the Labour Party

“I would not lie, I did not lie.” Brown, responding to the accusations “If the intention of the attackers was to disrupt SIS’s operations, they have failed in their objective.

" British Foreign Secretary Robin Cook, on Wednesday’s attack on the London headquarters of MI6, the nation’s secret service

“Every person and every ethnic group has been adding the colors of their own discoveries, energy and talent to the palette of our common culture.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, visiting a bombed-out synagogue in Moscow, where he gave a speech in which he decried Russia’s anti-Semitic history

“I don’t want to retire. I’m not that good at crossword puzzles.” Novelist Norman Mailer, who recently received the fifth annual F. Scott Fitzgerald Literary Award

“It is forbidden to anyone who does not have a burial plot to die within town limits.” Mayor Gil Bernardi of the small French Riviera resort town of Le Lavandou, on issuing a municipal decree banning outsiders from dying in the town, due to lack of space in the overcrowded local cemetery

“When there’s a mistake you should admit it quickly and move on.” Court TV chairman Henry Schleiff, on the American cable channel’s decision to pull the plug on its controversial program that outraged the families of murder victims by showing killers’ taped confessions

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “David Jones”

“[Yasir] Arafat does not appear to be a partner for peace.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, responding to the mob killing of two Israeli soldiers being held in a Palestinian jail

“I believe Barak turned the light off tonight. This is a declaration of war–a crazy war.” Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat, on Israel’s retaliatory bombings

“Now is the time to stop the bloodshed, to restore calm, to return to dialogue and, ultimately, to the negotiating table. The alternative to the peace process is now no longer merely hypothetical. It is unfolding today before our very eyes.” President Bill Clinton, urging a ceasefire in the region and pressing for the planned peace summit in Egypt

“As critics we often find ourselves asking, ‘What were they thinking?’ This year the question a lot of us are asking is, ‘Do they really know what they’re doing?’ " TV Guide critic Matt Rousch, on the numerous high-profile television series being overhauled at the last minute

“I put all my sighs in a lockbox.” Al Gore, on the collegial tone of the second presidential debate

“Writing eases my suffering… Writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence.” Chinese-born author Gao Xingjian, who lives in exile in France, on receiving the Nobel Prize in Literature

“Of course I’m disappointed. I’m just disappointed. I’m surprised and I’m disappointed.” Joe Alleva, Duke University’s athletic director, after a jury demanded the school pay $2 million to a kicker who claimed she was denied a spot on the football team because she is a woman

“Maybe he realizes now that he’s never going to be free, and reality has set in.” Jose Muniz, defense attorney for Kenneth Kimes, the convicted murderer who held a Court TV reporter hostage for several hours

“I’m not really a big baseball fan. I’ve played it. I love playing the game. But I don’t watch baseball at all. I don’t read the sports sections. I don’t watch ESPN. It’s not me.” Mariners pitcher John Halama, before his team’s game-two loss against the Yankees

“While I express my opinions from the perspective of an Orthodox Jew and a staunch defender of the traditional family, in talking about gays and lesbians some of my words were poorly chosen.” Radio and television host Laura Schlessinger, in a full-page ad apologizing (sort of) for her controversial comments about gays and lesbians

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Micheal Francis”

“[Yasir] Arafat does not appear to be a partner for peace.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, responding to the mob killing of two Israeli soldiers being held in a Palestinian jail

I believe Barak turned the light off tonight. This is a declaration of war–a crazy war.” Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat, on Israel’s retaliatory bombings

Now is the time to stop the bloodshed, to restore calm, to return to dialogue and, ultimately, to the negotiating table. The alternative to the peace process is now no longer merely hypothetical. It is unfolding today before our very eyes.” President Bill Clinton, urging an immediate ceasefire in the region and pressing for an emergency peace summit

“I believe it is an unparalleled honor.” South Korean President Kim Dae Jung, upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize for his groundbreaking efforts at reconciliation with his North Korean neighbors

“I put all my sighs in a lockbox.” Al Gore, on the collegial tone of the second presidential debate

“Writing eases my suffering…. Writing is my way of reaffirming my own existence.” Chinese-born author Gao Xingjian, who lives in exile in France, on receiving the Nobel Prize in Literature

“I’m a Basque, but I’m for peace. It’s not a solution to kill people.” Sixty-six-year-old Luis Elizondo, from the Basque region of Spain, protesting in Bayonne, France, against the separatist terrorist group ETA’s killing of a Spanish prosecutor early last week

“Yugoslavia is running the victory lap and along that track there is no Milosevic.” President Vojislav Kostunica of Yugoslavia, addressing a triumphant crowd of half a million supporters in Belgrade

“Cleaning the window didn’t remove her. She left when she was ready to leave.” Thirty-eight-year-old Ramon Coloado, fromNew Jersey, on the image of the Virgin Mary on the window of his living room. The window drew thousands hoping to see the image, until Coloado cleaned it last week.

“I did try cannabis while at university, like a lot of students at that time, and it is something that I have left behind.” British Public Health Minister Yvette Cooper, joining the ranks of British politicians who are backing the war against decriminalizing certain drugs and admitting their own past indulgences

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Christina Coleman”

“It takes a real man to step forward and say, ‘We found nothing,’ but these are not real men.” Susan McDougal, the Clintons’ business partner in the land deal, who has served time for financial misdeeds and for refusing to cooperate with Kenneth Starr

“Here’s $12.6 million, but you can’t compete in the game. Do they expect me to take the money and go to the beach?” Reform Party candidate Pat Buchanan, who has received Federal Election Commission funds but is barred from the nationally televised debates

“It’s not the end of the world, is it?… I can’t win everything. I’ve got to share.” Russian Aleksandr Popov, who settled for silver in his attempt to be the first man ever to win the same event–the men’s 100 free–in three straight Olympics

“It was a tragedy for all the athletes. For the rest of [Svetlana] Khorkina’s life–or for any of the gymnasts–they’ll say, ‘What if?’ " Peter Vidmar, an NBC analyst and former American gold medalist in gymnastics. Several gymnasts, including Khorkina, the former world champion, fell when the vault apparatus was set two inches too low during the women’s all-around final

“Safety and security will be ensured ultimately not by appeasement, not by the hope of trade at any cost, but by dealing with Communist China without selling out the very moral and spiritual principles that made America great in the first place.” North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, criticizing the Senate for voting to remove trade restraints against China despite the nation’s human-rights violations

“I have a mandate to govern and I will continue governing. A transition government? There is no way I will permit that.” Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori, who plunged the nation into chaos by announcing he will step down as president, insisting that he will continue to rule until the next leader is officially inaugurated

“New Yorkers deserve to know if she was there, ‘getting to know’ these big donors or if they were merely renting out these taxpayer-owned monuments like cheap hotels.” Rick Lazio, on learning that 98 of the 361 overnight guests at the White House or Camp David have donated funds to Hillary Clinton’s Senate campaign. The White House released the guest list in response to accusations that the First Lady is using executive perks to further her personal interests.

“I don’t want to retire. I’m not that good at crossword puzzles.” Novelist Norman Mailer, who recently received the fifth annual F. Scott Fitzgerald Literary Award

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Soledad Grant”

“You will not find a safe harbor. We will find you, and justice will prevail.” Clinton, vowing to avenge the tragedy

“The people are rebelling. Their blood is boiling. They won’t listen to Arafat. What did we get from this summit? Nothing.” Jawdat Odeh, a Palestinian construction worker, one day after the agreement was announced

“We now have before us an additional opportunity to get back on track towards stability, coexistence and cooperation. I expect that our Palestinian neighbors share this hope with us.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, on the Sharm al-Sheikh agreement attempting, so far unsuccessfully, to defuse the mounting Arab-Israeli violence

“The first was too hot, the second too cold, and the third just right.” Al Gore, comparing his performance in the three presidential debates to Goldilocks’

“I thought he was gonna hit George.” Barbara Bush, on Gore’s performance

“I personally feel the Bible says all people are equal in the eyes of God. I personally feel that women should play an absolutely equal role in service of Christ in the church.” Former president Jimmy Carter, announcing that he is cutting ties with the Southern Baptist Convention over its treatment of women

“If we do not defeat this, we are finished.” A radio broadcaster in Uganda, urging listeners to send for help if they knew someone who might be infected with the ebola virus, which has killed at least 50 people so far in Uganda

“I hope that these words will bring her a little peace and help her rediscover the childhood I stole from her.” Amon Chemouil, after the landmark case in which the French public-transport worker was sentenced to seven years in prison for raping an 11-year-old child while on holiday in Thailand in 1994

“A killer is a killer, whether he is a prime minister or not.” Jacques Bihozagara, Rwanda’s ambassador to the Netherlands, on the possibility that former Rwandan prime minister Jean Kambanda might serve his life-prison sentence for genocide somewhere other than his home country

“The queen chooses her colors well–the violet and apricot we have seen have been just right.” Carla Fendi, the world-famous handbag designer and one of the many to praise Queen Elizabeth II’s wardrobe for her state visit to Italy last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Joseph Baumann”

“This is not a victory speech.” U.S. Energy Secretary Bill Richardson, promising to continue investigating the May disappearance of two hard drives from the Los Alamos weapons lab, despite the classified information’s mysterious re-emergence last week

“I don’t know anything about why that happened…I’m not an expert on computers.” Al Gore, who once boasted that he invented the Internet, on how copies of his outgoing e-mail could have disappeared

“I’ve got good celebrities.” Green Party presidential hopeful Ralph Nader, on his list of supporters, including Paul Newman, Warren Beatty, Susan Sarandon and Pearl Jam

“The reality is that men’s bodies are taking a turn for the worse…Millions of years after man became upright, millennium man is stooping lower and lower.” British scientist Stephen Gray, who reported on the BBC that his research had revealed that a sedentary lifestyle is making men become fatter and more stooped

“It’s just amazing,” Pisa native Fabio Vasarelli, one of 100 Pisa University students allowed inside the Leaning Tower of Pisa. They were the first visitors to the tower since it was closed to the public a decade ago when restoration work was begun to stop the increasing tilt of the medieval structure.

“Diamonds are a guerrilla’s best friend.” Paul Collier, author of a World Bank study that concluded that greed for diamonds, drugs and coffee were more likely to cause bloody civil strife than political, religious or ethnic differences

“Is that your wallet? Is this your life?” Lyrics from Bruce Springsteen’s unrecorded and unreleased song “American Skin (41 Shots),” which clearly refers to last year’s shoting of Amadou Diallo, a West African native, by four white New York City police officers. The cops fired 41 bullets after mistaking Diallo’s wallet for a gun.

“I consider it an outrage that [Springsteen] sould be trying to fatten his wallet by reopening the wounds of this tragic case.” Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association president Pat Lynch, in a letter to PBA delegates and members, to boycott the Boss’s 10-concert run at New York’s Madison Square Garden

“It’s going to take a miracle to make a corn crop.” Dave Barry, a Nebraska farmer, on the drought ravaging much of America

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Sharon Venturelli”

“THE RECIPE TO OUR FAMILY’S CARROT CAKE IS PROBABLY MORE SECURE THAN THIS COUNTRY’S NUCLEAR SECRETS.” FLORIDA REP. MARK FOLEY,VOICING WIDESPREAD CONCERN ABOUT SECURITY BREACHES WITHIN THE LOS ALAMOS LAB’S X DIVISION

“IN OUR HEARTS, I THINK WE HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED REUNIFICATION.” KIM BOK YOUNG, A CLOTHING RETAILER IN SEOUL, ON HIS HOPES FOR A UNIFIED KOREAN PENINSULA

“I’M ENTITLED TO DO THINGS OTHER THAN GOVERNING 24 HOURS A DAY.” MINNESOTA GOV. JESSE VENTURA, ON HIS RECENT STINT ON ‘THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS’

“IT’S GOING TO TAKE A MIRACLE TO MAKE A CORN CROP.” DAVE BARRY, A NEBRASKAN FARMER, ON THE DROUGHT RAVAGING MUCH OF THE COUNTRY

“I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHY THAT HAPPENED… I’M NOT AN EXPERT ON COMPUTERS.” AL GORE, WHO ONCE BOASTED THAT HE CREATED THE INTERNET, ON HOW COPIES OF HIS OUTGOING E-MAIL COULD HAVE DISAPPEARED

“YOU KNOW WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH YOU CAN ALMOST KILL THEM? I WAS NEARLY KILLED LAST NIGHT.” NEWLYWED ANGELINA JOLIE, ON LIFE WITH BILLY BOB THORNTON

“MY QUALIFICATIONS TO HOST A TELEVISION SHOW? THAT’S ABOUT THE ONLY JOB IN AMERICA ONE DOES NOT NEED QUALIFICATIONS FOR.” LAURA INGRAHAM, FORMER HOST OF MSNBC’S “WATCH IT!,” DURING A DISCUSSION ON WASHINGTONPOST.COM

“SOUTHERN BAPTISTS, BY PRACTICE AS WELL AS CONVICTION, BELIEVE LEADERSHIP IS MALE.” THEREV. ADRIAN ROGERS, EXPLAINING THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION’S DECLARATION THAT WOMEN SHOULD NO LONGER BE PASTORS

“HE FELT THAT THE DOG WAS A QUEER-TYPE DOG AND IT MADE HIM ANGRY.” CAPT. MIKE MCQUAIG, ON A FLORIDA MAN CONVICTED OF CRUELTY TO ANIMALS FOR KILLING HIS PET BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE ANIMAL WAS GAY

“WHEN I SEE BUSH AND KASICH NEXT TO EACH OTHER, I SEE TWO BOY SCOUTS AND NOT ENOUGH MERIT BADGES.” POLLSTER JOHN ZOGBY, ON GEORGE W. BUSH AND OHIO REP. JOHN KASICH

“I’VE GOT GOOD CELEBRITIES.” GREEN PARTY CANDIDATE RALPH NADER, ON SUPPORTERS LIKE WARREN BEATTY, SUSAN SARANDON AND PEARL JAM

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Jon Allen”

“It is a police state, a place where injustice is law and brutality is order.” Rep. David Bonior of Michigan, who opposed the China trade bill

“We all wonder where he is now. Everyone’s walking around asking, ‘Where’s Harry?’ " Mary James, owner of Mac’s Tavern in Parkman Township, Ohio, where Harry Kirtley’s ashes disappeared during a final toast to him

“Women? I love women. Life would have been virtually zero without them. Journalism? I really feel like I am a journalist… And courage? I had a boat named Courageous.” Ted Turner, during the keynote speech at this year’s International Women’s Media Foundation party

“He was standing out in the hall, telling everybody to go back into class because it wasn’t time to be dismissed. Five seconds later he was shot.” Amanda Grunwald, 13, of Lake Worth, Fla., after one of her seventh-grade classmates allegedly shot and killed teacher Barry Grunow

“I have to agree with your records. I can’t dispute them.” Korean War veteran Edward L. Daily, to the Associated Press, after the organization showed him records proving he could not have witnessed a massacre he said he had

“This can’t be Naomi Wolf’s idea of an alpha male.” Republican National Committee Chairman Jim Nicholson, on a report that Al Gore uses a makeup wand to spray a mist of foundation on his face to cover blemishes

“He shot a 90. At the end of the game, his scorecard said 84.” NCAA golfer Bryce Molder, a 21-year-old junior from Georgia Tech, after a round with President Clinton at Chenal Country Club in Little Rock, Ark.

“You know when birds fly out of a cage? That’s how we feel.” Hizbullah officer Abu Jaffa, on Israel’s withdrawal from Lebanon

“This is the most horrendous crime scene I’ve ever witnessed.” Richard A. Brown, the Queens, N.Y., district attorney, describing the Wendy’s where seven employees were bound and shot execution style

“Does he know it’s only a dinosaur?” A Chicago reporter, upon hearing that President Clinton, while in town, wanted to see Sue at the Field Museum

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “James Vu”

“Microsoft as it is presently organized and led is unwilling to accept the notion that it broke the law.” Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, in his decision to split Microsoft into two companies

“Today’s ruling really represents an unwarranted and unjustified intrusion into the software marketplace.” Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, vowing to appeal the decision

“I have met him many times and gotten to know him very well. We had our differences, but I always respected him.” President Bill Clinton on the death of Syrian President Hafez Assad

“The trick is to live.” Small-business owner Sandy Graffius on her strategy for avoiding the estate tax

“We didn’t get along because Nicole was afraid you were going to have sex with me.” O. J. Simpson, to former sister-in-law Denise Brown, during a discussion on “Fox News Live” about Simpson’s refusal to take a polygraph test

“You’re a pig.” Denise Brown, responding to Simpson

“Very carefully.” Salon founder David Talbot, on how he broke the news to his wife, Camille Peri, that she was among the 13 employees being laid off by the online magazine

“Your budget by now is about as big a secret as my sexuality.” Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank, speaking at a CIA gay-pride celebration, on his efforts to “out” an estimate of U.S. intelligence spending

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Cheryl Gonzales”

“It is a police state, a place where injustice is law and brutality is order.” Rep. David Bonior, a Michigan Democrat who opposed the China trade bill

“Women? I love women. Life would have been virtually zero without them. Journalism? I really feel like I am a journalist… And courage? I had a boat named Courageous.” Ted Turner, during the keynote speech at this year’s International Women’s Media Foundation party

“I have to agree with your records. I can’t dispute them.” Korean War veteran Edward L. Daily, to the Associated Press, after the organization showed him records proving he could not have witnessed a massacre he said he had

“You know when birds fly out of a cage? That’s how we feel.” Hizbullah officer Abu Jaffa, on Israel’s withdrawal from Lebanon

“Where will you be when the missiles are launched?” A question posed by the Coalition to Protect Americans Now, in a 30-second ad attacking the Clinton administration for leaving Americans open to a nuclear strike

“Does he know it’s only a dinosaur?” A Chicago reporter, upon hearing that President Clinton, while in town, wanted to see Sue at the Field Museum

“The wisest decision by an umpire would be to suspend the game.” President Hugo Chavez, after the Venezuelan Supreme Court postponed general elections scheduled for May 28 because of continuing problems with the computerized vote-counting system. No new date has been set for the more than 36,000 candidates vying for 6,241 posts.

“These were professionals, seeking to report on a bloody conflict that has already taken too many lives.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, in praise of two journalists slain in an apparent ambush 50 miles from Freetown, Sierra Leone

“We do not want to deny justice or delay it.” Sierra Leone President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah, after announcing that his government would soon put rebel leader Foday Sankoh on trial

“Bless her. She has more courage than most to come and do it.” Mark Rylance, artistic direct of the Globe, after Vanessa Redgrave swapped genders to play Prospero, the Duke of Milan, in Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Cathi Geier”

“Any time DNA evidence… is deemed to be relevant in the guilt or innocence of a person on death row, we need to use it.” Texas Gov.George W. Bush,after issuing a 30-day reprieve to convicted murderer Ricky McGinn

“Our employees have been speculating on who will be the first one to take advantage of the offer.” Yusuke Fukuda,a manager at Japanese toymaker Bandai Corp., which is trying to combat low birthrates by offering employees 1 million yen, or $10,000, for every baby they have after their second child

“I think historians will look at Bill Clinton with puzzlement and make the following judgment: that it was a great waste.” Sen.John McCain,in an interview with Esquire magazine

“Hopefully some of my nieces and nephews are there—captured,not killed.” Ethiopian diplomatYemane Kidane,who, like others, has relatives on the Eritrean side, as he watched footage of prisoners taken by Ethiopia during fighting between the two countries

“I want to thank the American people. I hope we can finally go home.” Juan Miguel González,after an Atlanta federal appeals court upheld the INS rejection of asylum for his son Elián

“I do not think this was a coincidence. I do not think our number just came up.” Nursing-home ownerJuanita Broaddrick,who says the president raped her in 1978, referring to her recent IRS audit and the audits of two other women who claim Clinton made sexual advances toward them

“We are very happy here in Seattle.” Jim Cullinan,spokesman for Microsoft, amid reports that authorities in Canada were trying to lure the software giant north, and out of its antitrust entanglements

“I refer to it as a grass museum.” New York City residentDavid Gibson,complaining of the city’s new fussiness with regard to Central Park, after spending $250 million over 20 years on improving the park and its lawns

“I feel safe in white because deep down inside, I’m an angel.” Rap superstarSean (Puffy) Combs,explaining why he often wears white suits

“Only in Switzerland, people still think [interviews] have to be true word for word.” Hollywood-based Swiss journalistTom Kummer,who admitted that the celebrity interviews he wrote for European newspapers were works of fiction

“I was so happy to be home that I had to kiss the ground. I didn’t know that it would kiss back.” Rep.Rick Lazio,New York’s Republican nominee for Senate, after he fell and cut his lip while marching in a Memorial Day parade in his hometown, Babylon, N.Y.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Merle Hoffman”

“Microsoft as it is presently organized and led is unwilling to accept the notion that it broke the law.” Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, in his decision to split Microsoft into two companies

“Today’s ruling really represents an unwarranted and unjustified intrusion into the software marketplace.” Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates, vowing to appeal the decision

“Very carefully.” Salon founder David Talbot, on how he broke the news to his wife, Camille Peri, that she was among the 13 employees being laid off by the online magazine

“The world has lost a quiet genius.” Humorist Dave Barry, on friend Jeff MacNelly, a three-time Pulitzer Prize-winning political cartoonist, who died last week at 52

“I think you need to take your seasickness pills before crossing.” London visitor Margaret Vint, after using the Millennium pedestrian bridge. The city’s first new span in more than 100 years was closed temporarily for safety reasons on opening day.

“It’s impossible to find anything right to wear… Black’s good because it is the slimming color. Anything else and I look like a sofa.” Madonna, at the London premiere of her new movie, “The Next Best Thing,” talking about her pregnancy and claiming that she has had cravings for crisps, olives and eggs

“We’ve concluded there is no Raoul. He’s merely the invention of James Earl Ray.” The U. S. Justice Department, after an exhaustive 18-month investigation into the 1968 assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., undertaken at the request of his family

“We didn’t get along because Nicole was afraid you were going to have sex with me.” O. J. Simpson, to former sister-in-law Denise Brown, during a discussion on “Fox News Live” about Simpson’s refusal to take a polygraph test

“You are a pig.” Denise Brown, responding to Simpson

“Your budget by now is about as big a secret as my sexuality.” Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank, speaking at a CIA gay-pride celebration, on his efforts to “out” an estimate of U.S. Intelligence spending

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Roy Rosa”

“When is all of this going to end? It seems like every time we start to get over things, something else happens. This is all so unbelievable.” Columbine High School sophomoreJamie Conwell,on learning that classmate Greg Barnes, who witnessed last year’s shooting, hanged himself last week

“I found 64 messages saying ‘I love you’ on my computer this morning. Given the state of e-commerce these days, I was strangely moved.” Dr.Matthew Naythons,a vice president of the Internet pharmacy PlanetRx, reflecting on the Love Bug

“[She is] a good friend, a very good friend.” New York MayorRudolph Giuliani,describing his relationship with Judith Nathan, a woman who has accompanied him on public occasions of late and who is not his wife

“It’s like a common-law marriage. If we’ve flown it for 94 years, it is our flag, and it should continue to be our flag.” Mississippi Rep.Keith Montgomery,on whether the legislature should adopt the flag that includes the Confederate stars and bars as its official flag, despite a state Supreme Court ruling last week that, technically, Mississippi has had no official state flag for nearly a century

“We’ll have… a president where we work out of their office.” National Rifle Association vice presidentKayne Robinson,at a closed meeting of NRA members earlier this year, describing the access he envisions if George W. Bush becomes president

“No matter how mean he is to me, I just love this guy because together, together, we give hope to gray-haired, chunky baby boomers everywhere.” PresidentBill Clinton,referring to comedian Jay Leno, who hosted the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner last week

“I just hope the Americans don’t keep an old lady like me waiting too long in this heat.” Eighty-year-oldLolita Lebron,one of the squatters at the U.S. bombing range on Vieques, Puerto Rico, as she awaited the government raid that cleared the demonstrators last week

“I’m shocked. It’s becoming more and more like America.” Japanese motoristYoshio Zuigyo,after hearing that a teenager allegedly hijacked a bus and held its passengers hostage for 15 hours, killing one woman and holding a 6-year-old at knifepoint

“While you’re doing your job, there is no gender factor.” JockeyJulie Krone,after becoming the first woman elected to racing’s Hall of Fame last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Charles Allen”

“As long as communist China has no intention to use force, I assure within my term of office I will not declare independence.” Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian, during his Inauguration, which ended more than 50 years of Nationalist Party rule

“He should not have applied any conditions, he should not have failed to recognize One China… Obviously, his ‘good will and reconciliation’ lacked sincerity.” An official statement from China’s government in response to Chen’s speech

“There was almost a jolly atmosphere, which was quite ridiculous in the circumstances. It was just a nice afternoon tea.” A flight attendant on a British Airways plane forced to make a crash landing, describing passengers’ stoic reaction to the news–and the light snack that followed

“Los Alamos has been hit by an 18-wheeler, and the government was driving that 18-wheeler.” New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson, during a press conference in which Interior Secretary Bruce Babbittfaulted National Park Service officials for starting–and losing control of–the blaze that ravaged the area

GREENSPAN RAISES RATES A HALF POINT AND THE WORLD CONTINUES TO TURN. A headline that appeared in Argentina’s El Cronista newspaper, after the U.S. Federal Reserve chairman’s latest interest-rate hike

“I’ve decided what I should do is to put my health first… This is not the right time to run for office.” New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, ending speculation that he will drop out of the race for U.S. Senate against Hillary Rodham Clinton in New York to concentrate on treating his early-stage prostate cancer

“It’s like having puke-green paint on the walls of your restaurant. People just won’t like it.” New Yorker Jeff Knapp, in reaction to news that the National Rifle Association hopes to open a family-oriented theme restaurant featuring a game-filled menu and a shooting gallery in Times Square

“Today doesn’t compare to anything else that’s happened in my life.” Elizabeth Taylor, after being made a Dame of the Order of the British Empire for her work in the entertainment industry and with charities. Queen Elizabeth also bestowed the title on Julie Andrews.

“[His birthday is] a celebration for all those who believe in human values and principles.” Palestinian President Yasir Arafat, on Pope John Paul II’s 80th birthday

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Jerrica Wilson”

“The reason I settled for sanctions instead of dismissal is because I believe that while Knight cannot change his impulses, he can stop acting on them.” Indiana University trustee Ray Richardson, on the school’s decision to discipline basketball coach Bobby Knight

“A computer? Are you kidding? Forget it, I’m not that modern. God, I still carry a typewriter.” “ABC World News Tonight” anchor Peter Jennings, describing how he drafts daily e-mail dispatches to promote the show while he’s on the road

“If he died quickly, it would be too good for him.” Maria Ema Kasam, a resident of Freetown, Sierra Leone, after the capture of rebel leader Foday Sankoh

“There was almost a jolly atmosphere, which was quite ridiculous in the circumstances. It was just a nice afternoon tea.” A flight attendant on a British Airways plane forced to make a crashlanding, describing passengers’ reactions to the news–and the light snack that followed

“Los Alamos has been hit by an 18-wheeler, and the government was driving that 18-wheeler.” New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson, during a press conference in which Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt faulted National Park Service officials for starting–and losing control of–the blaze that ravaged the area

“Greenspan raises rates a half point and the world continues to turn.” A headline in Argentina’s El Cronista newspaper, following the U.S. Fed chairman’s latest interest-rate hike

“It’s like having puke-green paint on the walls of your restaurant. People just won’t like it.” New Yorker Jeff Knapp, in reaction to news that the National Rifle Association hopes to open a family-oriented theme restaurant featuring a game-filled menu and a shooting gallery in Times Square

“Once they sue ya, you’re screwed. They ride off in a Mercedes. The disabled ride off in a wheelchair.” Actor Clint Eastwood, complaining on Capitol Hill that “vigilante” lawyers use the civil rights of the handicapped as a smoke screen to profit from the Americans With Disabilities Act

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Brandon Eastridge”

“I’m totally disgusted.” Connie Michalik,whose son was shot and paralyzed in the Columbine school massacre, after the county attorney’s office began selling videotapes of the shooting site with a music background

“When you think about the zoo, you’re not thinking guns and blood.” Ninth graderSteven Ferrell,after hearing an announcement at his school about a shooting at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., that left seven youngsters injured, one seriously

“I still bear them ill will, not because of what they did to me, but because of what they did to some of my friends–including killing some of them.” Former POW Sen.John McCain,touring the Vietnamese prison known as the Hanoi Hilton on the 25th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War

“Not many people could have survived this. But those who did, it made them stronger people.” Jack McCain,the senator’s 13-year-old son, who toured the Vietnamese prison with his father

“I might as well be teaching the Peloponnesian Wars.” Col.Cole C. Kingseed,on instructing West Point cadets about the Vietnam War

“We shouldn’t let our familiarity with Bill Clinton stop us from appreciating the depth and range of his accomplishments as president.” Former Arkansas senatorDale Bumpers,in a letter soliciting donations for the Clinton Presidential Library

“I haven’t lost my sense of humor or even my tolerance for dreadful behavior.” Feminist authorGermaine Greer,after allegedly being attacked in her home outside London by a 19-year-old female student

“It has really taken off.” Steve Urvan,CEO of GunBroker.com, an online auction house for firearms that has just had its first million-dollar month in sales

“I’m tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired.” James Rubin,on quitting as State Department spokesman to spend more time with his wife, CNN correspondent Christiane Amanpour, and their newborn son

“The case is about the freedom of a voluntary association to choose its own leaders.” George Davidson,a lawyer for the Boy Scouts of America, urging the U.S. Supreme Court to allow the organization to expel a gay scoutmaster

“My name is Joe and I am Canadian.” The last line of a Molson beer commercial that has become such a phenomenon that it is being performed live at sporting events and has become a symbol of Canadian national pride

“Could you please try and control your brats?” New York theater criticJohn Simon,shouting to the parents of rambunctious children at a Broadway performance of “The Music Man”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Sandra Lynch”

“‘Take the medicine now’ probably is a good description.” Sen.John McCain,on his endorsement of George W. Bush for the Republican presidential nomination, in a reply to a reporter’s question

“By the way, I enthusiastically accept.” George W. Bush,responding to Sen. John McCain’s endorsement

“We teach men to dare.” Veronique Jullien,the founder of the School of Seduction in Paris, which aims to help the timid approach the opposite sex with confidence

“When he’s doing something I think is important, I’m going to support him, because he doesn’t do it very often.” U.S. House Majority WhipTom DeLay,who is supporting President Clinton’s measure to grant China permanent normal-trading status

“I don’t feel like the boss, but give me a little time and I will.” BishopEdward M. Egan,of Bridgeport, Conn., who will succeed the late Cardinal John O’Connor as archbishop of the New York archdiocese

“Getting kicked out of my hometown is not something I wanted to do today.” Evacuated residentNeil Stoddard,blaming the National Park Service for the fire that swept out of control in Los Alamos, N.M.

“A bishop clothed in white… falls to the ground, apparently dead under a burst of gunfire.” CardinalAngelo Sodano,partially disclosing the so-called Third Secret of Fatima, in which the Virgin Mary, in a 1917 vision, predicted the 1981 assassination attempt on the pope

“I’d like to start a new job playing golf. And maybe a boat is in our future.” Larry Ross,a swimming-pool installer from Michigan, who claimed $181.5 million–half of the Big Game’s record-breaking jackpot

“I don’t really care about politics right now.” New York City MayorRudolph Giuliani,after announcing his intention to seek a separation from his wife, Donna Hanover

“Where we are responsible, where our hands are a part of this, we beg God’s mercy and forgiveness.” Nation of Islam leaderLouis Farrakhan,regretting the fact that words he wrote may have led to the assassination of Malcolm X

“What it is, it’s ‘Rocky’ set to music.” Pierre Cossette,a producer who is planning a rock musical on the life of Minnesota governor and former wrestler Jesse Ventura

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Leona Haynesworth”

“By the way, I enthusiastically accept.” George W. Bush,responding to Sen. John McCain’s endorsement

“He left under circumstances that are not clear.” U.N. spokesmanDavid Wimhurst,referring to Revolutionary United Front leader Foday Sankoh, who fled U.N. protection and disappeared, making it harder to negotiate with his rebels and halt escalating violence in Sierra Leone

“They’re billionaires and they’re taking us to IHOP?” New York Islanders fanBob Ceparano,who met with the hockey team’s new owners, Charles Wang and Sanjay Kumar, heads of Computer Associates

“When he’s doing something I think is important, I’m going to support him because he doesn’t do it very often.” House Majority WhipTom DeLay,who is backing President Clinton’s measure to grant China permanent normal trading status

“I don’t feel like the boss, but give me a little time and I will.” BishopEdward M. Egan,of Bridgeport, Conn., who will succeed the late Cardinal John O’Connor as archbishop of the New York archdiocese

“Getting kicked out of my hometown is not something I wanted to do today.” Evacuated residentNeil Stoddard,blaming the National Park Service for the fire that swept out of control in Los Alamos, N.M.

“I’d like to start a new job playing golf. And maybe a boat is in our future.” Lottery winnerLarry Ross,a swimming-pool installer from Michigan, who claimed $181.5 million–half of the Big Game’s record-breaking jackpot

“I don’t really care about politics right now.” New York City MayorRudolph Giuliani,after announcing his intention to seek a separation from his wife, Donna Hanover

“Where we are responsible, where our hands are a part of this, we beg God’s mercy and forgiveness.” Nation of Islam leaderLouis Farrakhan,regretting the fact that words he wrote may have led to the assassination of Malcolm X

“This does not heal. It does absolutely nothing.” South Carolina House Minority LeaderGilda Cobb-Hunter,on the decision to move the Confederate flag from the Statehouse dome to the Confederate Soldier’s Monument on the Statehouse lawn

“A bishop clothed in white… falls to the ground, apparently dead under a burst of gunfire.” CardinalAngelo Sodano,partially disclosing the so-called Third Secret of Fatima, in which the Virgin Mary, in a 1917 vision, predicted the 1981 assassination attempt on the pope

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Jorge Spencer”

“No way, no way. You’re not going to get that.” New York MayorRudolph Giuliani,joking to reporters that prostate cancer–while prompting him to reconsider his personal and political priorities–will not make him nicer

“When you think about the zoo, you’re not thinking guns and blood.” Ninth-graderSteven Ferrell, after hearing an announcement at his school about a shooting at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., that left seven youngsters injured, one seriously

“It was just too cool.” FishermanDonato Dalrymple,who rescued Elian Gonzalez and was photographed holding the boy in a closet when federal agents raided Elian’s relatives’ Miami home, on hearing Howard Stern mention his name on the radio

“I still bear them ill will, not because of what they did to me, but because of what they did to some of my friends–including killing some of them.” Former POW Sen.John McCain,touring the Vietnamese prison known as the Hanoi Hilton on the 25th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War

“Not many people could have survived this. But those who did, it made them stronger people.” Jack McCain,the senator’s 13-year-old son, who toured the Vietnamese prison with his father

“I might as well be teaching the Peloponnesian Wars.” Col.Cole C. Kingseed,on instructing West Point cadets about the Vietnam War

“We shouldn’t let our familiarity with Bill Clinton stop us from appreciating the depth and range of his accomplishments as president.” Former Arkansas senatorDale Bumpers, in a letter soliciting donations for the Clinton Presidential Library

“Could you please try and control your brats?” New York theater criticJohn Simon,shouting to the parents of rambunctious children at a Broadway performance of “The Music Man”

“I haven’t lost my sense of humor or even my tolerance for dreadful behavior.” Feminist authorGermaine Greer,after being attacked in her home outside London by an obsessed 19-year-old female student who tied Greer up and smashed her glasses

“CU me.” Stacy Jolles,asking her partner Nina Beck to join her in a gay civil union, made legal in Vermont to confer the benefits of marriage on homosexual couples

“It has really taken off.” Steve Urvan,CEO of GunBroker.com, an online auction house for firearms which has just had its first million-dollar month in sales

“I’m tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired.” James Rubin,on quitting as State Department spokesman to spend more time with his wife, CNN correspondent Christiane Amanpour, and their newborn son

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Marcelina Dabney”

“We don’t have enough food, we don’t have anything to drink, we don’t have anything, but I want to tell my parents in Lebanon that I am OK.” Marie Michel,held hostage in the Philippines by the Islamic rebel group Abu Sayyaf

“The IRA leadership will initiate a process that will completely and verifiably put IRA arms beyond use.” Part of a statement last Saturday from the Irish Republican Army that could break the deadlock in the Northern Ireland peace talks

“What I would like my epitaph to say is simply that ‘He was a good priest’.” CardinalJohn O’Connor,reflecting on a career in which he rose to be archbishop of the nation’s most prominent Roman Catholic diocese. He died last week in New York City at the age of 80.

“When is all of this going to end? It seems like every time we start to get over things, something else happens. This is all so unbelievable.” Columbine High School sophomoreJamie Conwell,on learning that classmate Greg Barnes, who witnessed last year’s shooting, hanged himself last week

“I found 64 messages saying ‘I love you’ on my computer this morning. Given the state of e-commerce these days, I was strangely moved.” Dr.Matthew Naythons,a vice president of the Internet pharmacy PlanetRx, reflecting on the “Love Bug”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted 14 years ago…” Ken Livingstone,London’s newly elected independent mayor, beginning his victory speech with a reference to his time at the head of London’s last local government, the Greater London Council, abolished by the then prime minister Margaret Thatcher in 1986

“We’ll have… a president where we work out of their office.” National Rifle Association vice presidentKayne Robinson,at a closed meeting of NRA members earlier this year, describing the access he envisions if George W. Bush becomes president

“No matter how mean he is to me, I just love this guy because together, together, we give hope to gray-haired chunky baby boomers everywhere.” PresidentBill Clinton,referring to comedian Jay Leno, who hosted the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner last week

“I just hope the Americans don’t keep an old lady like me waiting too long in this heat.” Lolita Lebron,80, one of the squatters at the U.S. bombing range on Vieques, Puerto Rico, as she awaited the government raid that cleared the demonstrators last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Monique Dejackome”

“However much people may dislike paying petrol duty, there’s no way that any government of this country could or should yield to this form of protest.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, reflecting on last week’s crippling blockade of oil refineries and storage depots

“Unless the European Central Bank steps in with large-scale and unexpected intervention, we expect the euro to continue to tumble. Watch out!” Carl Weinberg, of High Frequency Economics, on the fate of the rapidly weakening euro

“G’day Sydney. G’day Australia. Yes, the Olympic Games are back Down Under.” Olympic chief Juan Antonio Samaranch, during the opening ceremony

“My achievement of developing oral polio vaccines saved millions of lives. But now I am held up before the world as the father of AIDS, a mass murderer.” Hilary Koprowski, on allegations that the polio vaccine he helped develop also spread AIDS

“She is a splendid girl in terms of purity and goodness. Her case of possession by the Devil is terrible.” Father Gabriele Amorth, on a 19-year-old Vatican visitor who appeared to be possessed. Although Amorth and Pope John Paul II attempted exorcisms, they were both unsuccessful

“The war has begun.” A Philippine government official, on his country’s military attacks last week on the Muslim rebel group Abu Sayyaf in the southern island of Jolo, where 19 hostages are still being held after five months of negotiations

“These tragedies don’t happen because of rain or God. These things happen because of human beings.” Director Francesco Ferrante, of Legambiente, Italy’s leading environmental group, on the recent landslides outside the coastal town of Soverato

“No region is a greater source of terrorism than our neighborhood.” Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee, of India, defending his country’s nuclear-weapons program in an address to a joint session of the U.S. Congress last week

“I can’t read a thing. Can you, dear?” Sixty-five-year-old tourist Diane Breese, to her husband, as she struggled to surf the Internet in a New York taxi, one of a fleet of 10 new cabs that are equipped with handheld Palm VII computers for passengers

“Who would buy a used dome from this government?” British Conservative M.P. Peter Ainsworth, commenting on Japanese bank Nomura International’s pulling out of a bid to buy London’s Millennium Dome

“We do more than just sing and dance. We’ve got a brain, too.” Kevin Richardson, of the Backstreet Boys

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Aline Thomas”

“Too many vulnerable communities in too many regions of the world now hesitate to look to the United Nations to assist them in their hour of need. No amount of resolutions or statements can change this reality. Only action can.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, during the Millennium Summit in New York. In response, the five permanent members of the Security Council later passed a resolution redoubling the organization’s peacekeeping efforts.

“One can only think that the same stupidity made him have sex with Monica Lewinsky.” Ninoska Perez, spokeswoman for the Cuban American National Foundation, on President Clinton’s handshake with Cuban President Fidel Castro

“It seems to me that alarm bells were ringing, but that the people in a position to do something weren’t listening.” Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, opening congressional subcommittee hearings on the Firestone tire recall

“I would have to be an absolute moron–an absolute moron–with the things that have been laid on me, to grab a kid in public or curse a kid in public.” Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight, disputing an allegation that he had violated his school-imposed “zero tolerance” probation by grabbing and berating a freshman student

“There’s Adam Clymer, major-league a—–e from The New York Times.” Bush, to running mate Dick Cheney, in an aside that was picked up by television microphones

“He did it whenever he could.” Spokesman Dirk Vande Beek, explaining Cheney’s failure to vote in 14 out of 16 elections in Texas

“[‘Big Brother’] is like watching a car wreck in slow motion and then backing your car up to get a closer look at the carnage.” Jeff Oswald, a viewer who hired a pilot to fly disparaging banners over the house

“We intend to take every single asset from the Aryan Nations now and forever. We intend to even take the name Aryan Nations.” Prosecuting attorney Morris Dees, after an Idaho civil jury found the organization’s leadership negligent in the 1988 beating of a mother and son. The jury awarded $6.3 million in punitive damages.

“We have planted the seed. I’ll remain in business until the day I die.” Aryan Nations leader Richard Butler

“Every time a relative sues me or a critic slams me, I sell more records.” Controversial rapper Eminem, a.k.a. Marshall Mathers, accepting one of his three MTV Video Music Awards

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Harriett Fowler”

“There’s nothing wrong with somebody professing their faith and going to church or synagogue, but this is almost hawking it.” Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League, which wrote a letter asking Sen. Joseph Lieberman to stop making “overt expressions” of religious belief while campaigning

“It is a sad state of affairs that someone who has been out of office for nearly 30 years and dead for seven years would be exposed to this kind of calumny.” Henry Kissinger, President Richard Nixon’s secretary of State, on a new book alleging that Nixon abused his wife and was addicted to drugs

“I think George W needs to kiss Tipper in a hurry. It may be his only way out of it.” Democratic strategist Chris Lapetina, on Bush’s struggles to explain his tax-cut plan

“Honesty and candor are absolute prerequisites in our bar… Mr. Clinton doesn’t meet those standards.” Matt Glavin, president of the Southeastern Legal Foundation of Atlanta, which called for Clinton’s disbarment on the basis of his conduct during the Paula Jones case; Clinton’s lawyers have argued that disbarment is “too harsh”

“The gulf between you will not narrow, but the gulf between Burundi and the rest of the world will grow greater if you let this moment slip away.” President Bill Clinton, calling for peace between Burundi’s Tutsi and Hutu parties during his four-day African tour last week

“Animals show mercy to opponents lying on the ground, but rightist extremists apparently do not.” German Judge Albrecht Hennig, in the sentencing of three neo-Nazis for the beating death of an African immigrant

“Mick’s a wonderful man, but a terrible husband.” Model-actress Jerry Hall, on her former husband Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones

“I am not smart, and I know many of the answers. Maybe I will be a millionaire.” Mumbai resident Maqbool Ahmed, on his aspirations to appear on India’s hit television program “Kaun Banega Crorepati,” or literally, “Who Will Become a Ten-Millionaire”

“I am very weary but I hope to do it… So I will die at the finishing line.” Ninety-year-old long-distance runner Rosario Iglesias, from Mexico City, on her plans to race in the 1,500-meter event at the World Championship for veterans in Sydney next year

“You want a piece of me?” Venus Williams, playfully challenging John McEnroe after he was quoted as saying a good male college player or senior player could beat her

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Vilma Saxon”

“[The government] did not embarrass me alone, but they embarrassed this entire nation and everyone who is a citizen of it.” U.S. district court Judge James A. Parker, approving the plea agreement. Although originally indicted on 59 counts, Lee pleaded guilty to a single felony charge of copying U.S. nuclear-weapons-design secrets to a nonsecure computer tape

“G’day Sydney. G’day Australia. Yes, the Olympic Games are back Down Under.” Olympic chief Juan Antonio Samaranch, during the opening ceremony

“However much people may dislike paying petrol duty, there’s no way that any government of this country could or should yield to this form of protest.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, reflecting on last week’s crippling blockade of oil refineries and storage depots

“I’ve made two huge mistakes here… One was not leaving in May, and one was not leaving five years ago.” Bobby Knight, deposed Indiana University basketball coach, on his protracted battle with the school’s administration

“Remember, America: I gave you the Internet and I can take it away.” Al Gore, on “Late Show With David Letterman,” mocking his overstatement that he “took the initiative in creating the Internet”

“He owes us big time. He’s a major-league Adam Clymer.” Alexandra Ringe, senior editor of Modern Humorist, which claims Gore stole the Internet joke from its Web site

“We don’t play ball that way. I’m not that clever.” Media consultant Alex Castellanos, who produced an ad for the GOP that briefly flashes the word rats across the screen in an alleged attempt at subliminal messaging

“My achievement of developing oral polio vaccines saved millions of lives. But now I am held up before the world as the father of AIDS, a mass murderer.” Hilary Koprowski, on as yet unsubstantiated allegations that the polio vaccine he helped develop also spread AIDS

“My only goal was to be permitted to do my job as a pastry chef in a safe and discrimination-free working environment.” Franette McCulloch, who has filed a harassment lawsuit against the White House’s executive pastry chef and against President Clinton for failing to provide adequate grievance procedures

“She is a splendid girl in terms of purity and goodness. Her case of possession by the Devil is terrible.” Father Gabriele Amorth, on a 19-year-old Vatican visitor who appeared to be possessed. Although Amorth and Pope John Paul II attempted exorcisms, they were both unsuccessful.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Lottie Sewell”

“Too many vulnerable communities in too many regions of the world now hesitate to look to the United Nations to assist them in their hour of need. No amount of resolutions or statements can change this reality. Only action can.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, during the Millennium Summit in New York. In response, the five permanent members of the Security Council later passeda resolution redoubling the organization’s peacekeeping efforts.

“Do you expect me to go across the Atlantic Ocean just to speak for five minutes?” Libyan leader Muammar Kaddafi, explaining why he would not be attending the U.N. summit

“We thought of using this whole thing as a sort of sting operation… to collect parking tickets.” New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, joking about the traffic chaos caused last week by the summit

“People need rice, not an airplane.” Indonesian MP Abdullah Zainie, on President Abdurrahman Wahid’s proposal to purchase his own version of the U.S. presidential jet Air Force One

“You have got to be nuts, with all the publicity on cracking down on drug use in the Games, to come whistling through customs with hGH.” Dick Pound, vice president of the International Olympic Committee, on the seizing of a “small quantity of what appears to behuman growth hormones” found in the luggage of an Uzbekistan Olympic-delegation member at Sydney airport

“I am tired, tired, tired. It seems to me that alone, I simply cannot carry any longer this load called ORT.” Russian media tycoon Boris Berezovsky, announcing his reasons for giving away his dominant stake in the nation’s largest television network, ORT, rather than surrendeering it to government control

“We have been indulgent with totalitarian postures, hurting democracy.” Argentina’s Roman Catholic Church, making a historic apology for its mistakes during the country’s last military regime, from 1976 to 1983, during which 9,000 people disappeared. The church has been accused by human-rights groups for doing nothing to stop the political repression during the period.

“It’s a better picture. People don’t get a sense of my ability to relate to people.” George W. Bush, announcing that his campaign stops will now include more intimate gatherings of voters

“There’s Adam Clymer, major-league a–from The New York Times.” Bush, to running mate Dick Cheney, in an aside that was picked up by television microphones

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Gonzalo Smith”

“I believe [in] what Joe Lieberman is saying. He’s a man of great faith, and I knew that when I selected him.” Al Gore, maintaining that he will not “rein in” his running mate’s frequent references to religion

“There’s nothing wrong with somebody professing their faith and going to church or synagogue, but this is almost hawking it.” Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League, which wrote a letter asking Lieberman to stop making “overt expressions” of faith

“The car crash that took the lives of these two lovely people has been portrayed as a traffic accident… The reality is that it was murder.” Mohammed Al-Fayed, father of Princess Diana’s boyfriend Dodi, and owner of Harrods department store, after filing a lawsuit demanding access to CIA and National Security Agency documents he believes will shed light on the fatal 1997 crash

“It is a sad state of affairs that someone who has been out of office for nearly 30 years and dead for seven years would be exposed to this kind of calumny.” Henry Kissinger, President Richard Nixon’s secretary of State, on a new book alleging that Nixon abused his wife and was addicted to drugs

“When a 15-year-old drug abuser finally screws up his courage to seek treatment, do we really want him to be told, ‘That’s nice, but you need to come back later’?” David Lewis, project director for a medical advocacy group, insisting that federal support for understaffed and underfunded drug-treatment facilities must continue, despite reports that drug use among teenagers fell for the second straight year

“Honesty and candor are absolute prerequisites in our bar… Mr. Clinton doesn’t meet those standards.” Matt Glavin, president of the Southeastern Legal Foundation of Atlanta, which called for Clinton’s disbarment on the basis of his conduct during the Paula Jones case; Clinton’s lawyers have argued that disbarment is “too harsh”

" ‘Going postal’ is a myth, a bad rap, nonsense.” Joseph Califano, chair of an independent commission examining violence in the nation’s post offices, on its conclusion that postal workers are no more likely to physically assault, sexually harass or verbally abuse their co-workers than are other employees in the national work force

“This assistance is for fighting drugs, not making war.” Clinton, on his administration’s much-criticized $1.3 billion Colombian aid package

“I’m hanging my legs off a boxcar, smoking a cigarette, eating some pork and beans. Oh, yeah.” Rocco Nagy, a participant in Trampfest 2000, an “alternative” hobo convention in St. Paul, Minn.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Robert Leggette”

“I could not believe my eyes… I screamed, ‘Oh, my God, this thing is going down’.” Sobeih, who witnessedGulf Air Flight 072’s rapid descent as it crashed near his home in Bahrain, killing all 143 people on board

“We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.” George W. Bush, during a stump speech in Iowa

“The grief is immeasurable; there are not enough words of comfort. My heart hurts, but yours hurt even more.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, under fire for his handling of the Kursk submarine disaster that killed 118 sailors, attempting to comfort angry relatives of the deceased

“I’m tempted to change my opinion of the polls.” Al Gore, on the postconvention bounce that now shows him slightly ahead of Bush

“Let’s hope Oswiecim will not be a parody of a peace town for Jews.” Sebastian Lawczys, a tour guide at the Auschwitz museum, on news that the Polish town of Oswiecim–where GermanNazis built their death camp–plans to begin attracting tourists with a visitors center and disco

“I can’t wait to see my dad and hug him. I think it just means that the government’s case is crumbling.” Alberta Lee, daughter of accused spy Wen Ho Lee, on a judge’s decision to set the nuclear scientist free on $1 million bail

“I am perfectly sane.” Ezola Foster, Pat Buchanan’s Reform Party running mate, on news that she accepted workers’ compensation payments for an undisclosed mental disorder

“Dan walked into the room and we all knew we had found Harry.” Director Chris Columbus, on the casting of little-known British actor Daniel Radcliffe, 11, in the coveted title role of the first Harry Potter film

“As long as those tires are being made and used, the potential for more deaths is real.” Tire consultant Max Nonnamaker, on the Firestone tire recall, which may be expanded by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

“I’m a liberal, conservative, radical, middle-of-the-road, centrist Democrat.” Actor Richard Dreyfuss, explaining his political philosophy

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Russell Steel”

“He’s probably the least qualified person ever to be nominated by a major party… What is his accomplishment? That he’s no longer an obnoxious drunk?” Ron Reagan, son of the former president and a Ralph Nader supporter

“In two or three months this case will be dismissed. This is Indonesia. The system is corrupt, anyone can be bought for the right price.” A lawyer with the respected Indonesian Corruption Watch, on the charges of unlawful acquisition brought against former Indonesian dictator General Suharto, who will stand trial later this month

“Just before you settle down on the landing pad, you look upon Arlington Cemetery… its gentle slopes and crosses row upon row. I never once made that trip without being reminded how enormously fortunate we all are to be Americans.” Vice presidential hopeful Dick Cheney, during his Tuesday night convention speech. Arlington regulations mandate headstones, not crosses.

“The Jews and Muslims are in a Catholic marriage with no possibility of divorce.” Former Jordanian foreign minister Kamel Abu Jaber on the need for a Mideast agreement that allows both sides to live in peace

“I can’t wait to get a glimpse of the Queen Mum. I am a true royalist and I reckon she’s the best of the bunch.” Janet Carter, a fan of Britain’s monarchy, on Queen Mother Elizabeth’s 100th birthday

“It’s changed our institutional mind-set.” U.S. Customs Commissioner Raymond Kelly, on the growth in popularity of the illegal drug Ecstasy, nearly 80 million pills of which have been seized by the U.S. Customs Service and the Drug Enforcement Administration in the past seven months

“A president who denies something within 24 hours of saying it does not cheer the market.” A Zimbabwe economist, speaking to Reuters after President Mugabe told black farmers he still supported the illegal farm invasions that began in February

“It is unacceptable to parade British citizens… before the world’s media and accuse them of terrorism and espionage.” The British Foreign Office, on the arrests of four Western men, two of them British, on the Montenegro-Kosovo border on charges of plotting against the Yugoslav government

“Hugh Grant is fantastic in bed. He always has been.” Model-actress Elizabeth Hurley, denying that she told Jane magazine her sex life with Grant was “less than adequate”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “William Ziego”

“He’s probably the least qualified person ever to be nominated by a major party… What is his accomplishment? That he’s no longer an obnoxious drunk?” Ron Reagan, son of the former president and a Ralph Nader supporter

“You got Powell making speeches, but you got Trent Lott making policy.” Rev. Jesse Jackson, on the Republican National Convention’s diversity emphasis

“Just before you settle down on the landing pad, you look upon Arlington National Cemetery… its gentle slopes and crosses row on row. I never once made that trip without being reminded how enormously fortunate we all are to be Americans.” Vice presidential hopeful Dick Cheney, during his Wednesday-night convention speech. Arlington regulations mandate headstones, not crosses.

“If I came out of this with anything, it’s that I want a debate. Bad.” Atlanta resident Tamara Allen, after watching the four-day convention

“I’m not sure there is such a thing as ‘minor groin surgery.’ Any time there’s a blunt instrument around my genitalia, I think that’s major.” Dennis Miller, during his debut as a commentator for “Monday Night Football,” remarking on running back J. R. Redmond’s off-season medical procedure

“The Jews and Muslims are in a Catholic marriage with no possibility of divorce.” Former Jordanian foreign minister Kamel Abu Jaber, on the need for a Mideast agreement that allows both sides to live in peace

“I am relieved, and I’m also thinking that we’re back on the road to reality and sanity.” Kansas City, Kans., biology teacher Al Frisby, on the selection of three pro-evolution school-board candidates in the Republican primary

“Hugh Grant is fantastic in bed. He always has been.” Model-actress Elizabeth Hurley, denying that she told Jane magazine her sex life with Grant was “less than adequate”

“I can’t wait to get a glimpse of the Queen Mum. I am a true royalist and I reckon she’s the best of the bunch.” Janet Carter, on Queen Mother Elizabeth’s 100th birthday

“Two fried eggs in the gloaming–that’s all I saw.” Quentin Letts, of London’s Mail, on Jerry Hall’s critically panned and poorly lit stage debut as the briefly nude Mrs. Robinson in “The Graduate”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Mildred Florio”

“I’m not asking you to support Al Gore because he’s my father, or even because he’s been a great dad for his kids. What really matters is what he will do for all our kids.” Karenna Gore Schiff, on her father’s virtues as a family man and a politician

“Last night we heard a laundry list of new promises… intended to cover up old failures.” George W. Bush, campaigning in Tennessee, Gore’s home state

“The timing of this leak stinks to high heaven.” White House spokesman Jake Siewert, on reports that the independent counsel has impaneled a new grand jury to further explore President Clinton’s conduct during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The news broke just hours before Gore took the stage to deliver his acceptance speech.

“We think the timing of this was wrong. It was simply not appropriate for this kind of news to come out on Al Gore’s big day.” Bush spokeswoman Karen Hughes

“They really like to eat. In L.A., with the movie people, they take a little food, a little mineral water, sometimes a glass of champagne. But these delegates are something else.” Renowned restaurateur-chef Wolfgang Puck, who catered dozens of private parties during the convention

“I just couldn’t resist.” Bill Clinton, on stopping at McDonald’s for a crispy chicken and fries during a postconvention campaign visit to Michigan

“They are in a hell that you can’t imagine.” Vitaly Ryabov, who serves on a Russian submarine, on the 118 sailors trapped beneath the Barents Sea aboard the submarine Kursk

“Putin is in Sochi on vacation. Putin isn’t leaving Sochi. The sailors on the Kursk are prisoners of his pride.” A Russian political commentator, on President Vladimir Putin’s decision to remain at the Black Sea resort and to deny early assistance from the British Navy

“Speaking as one boob man to another, these were not that great. I mean, I’ve seen a lot better boobs than these. And yet she exposes them on a morning show. Unbelievable!” Matt Lauer, to Jay Leno, on the woman who was broadcast baring it all outside the “Today” show’s New York studio

“I knew you were coming, but I didn’t bake you a cake because you and I don’t need a cake.” Martha Stewart, to constant dieter Oprah Winfrey during a recent interview

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Valerie Lamb”

“They never treated me this well when I was their congressman.” Dick Cheney, who headed up George W. Bush’s search for a vice-presidential candidate and ended up with the position himself, on the enthusiastic reception he received at his Wyoming alma mater, Natrona County High School

“What I see emerging is that the old guy drove the choice. That is absolutely inaccurate.” Former U.S. president George Bush, on his son’s decision to name Cheney, Bush Sr.’s Defense secretary, as his running mate

“I don’t think our negotiations will ever be the same after Camp David.” Saeb Erekat, a senior aide to Yasir Arafat at the failed Mideast peace talks, suggesting that progress has been made with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak on several key issues, including Jerusalem, and that the dialogue continues even though the leaders have returned home

“I couldn’t control who wasn’t here [last year], but I know it made people critical of my performance, and I thought a lot about that. A lot. All winter, all spring, all May and June, and all up the mountains… This is a vindication.” Cyclist Lance Armstrong, the cancer survivor whose victory in 1999’s Tour de France was marred by talk of performance-enhancing drugs and the absence of several key competitors, on his triumph again this year

“If you design a site… to enable infringement, you can’t stand by and claim you don’t know what’s going on.” U.S.District Judge Marilyn Patel, who ordered Napster to shut down pending the outcome of a lawsuit claiming the service threatens the financial integrity of the music industry. The popular online music-sharing service appealed, arguing that it would be forced to close permanently, and was granted a reprieve

“Don’t worry boys, you can mess around in my internal affairs anytime.” U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, to Thai Foreign Minister Surin Pitsuwan and Philippine Foreign Secretary Domingo Siazon, at a ritual concert by delegates to close Asia’s annual security forum last Friday

“Terrorism has triumphed today and made a mockery of our rule of law.” Ishan Bashir, brother of one of the victims in the 1993 Greysteel pub massacre, on the release of 78 prisoners from the top-security Maze prison in Northern Ireland last week, under the provisions of the 1998 Good Friday Agreement

“I never wanted this sexy image.” Crop-topped, belly button-baring pop songstress Britney Spears, on being regarded globally as a sex symbol

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Chad Johnson”

“What I see emerging is that the old guy drove the choice. That is absolutely inaccurate.” Former president George Bush, on his son’s decision to name Cheney, Bush Sr.’s Defense secretary, as his running mate

“I don’t think our negotiations will ever be the same after Camp David.” Saeb Erekat, a senior aide to Yasir Arafat at the failed Mideast peace talks, suggesting that progress has been made with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak on several key issues, including Jerusalem, and that the dialogue continues even though the leaders have returned home

“God, where were you in Paris?” Bishop Josef Homeyer, at a memorial service for the 96 Germans who died when an Air France Concorde jet bound for New York crashed just outside Paris

“If you design a site… to enable infringement, you can’t stand by and claim you don’t know what’s going on.” U.S.District Judge Marilyn Patel, who ordered Napster to shut down pending the outcome of a lawsuit claiming that the service threatens the financial integrity of the music industry. The popular online music-sharing service appealed, arguing that it would be forced to close permanently, and was granted a reprieve.

“Hey, if I wasn’t in Philadelphia, I’d probably be watching Andy Griffith.” Oklahoma Rep. J. C. Watts, acknowledging the limited audience for coverage of the Republican National Convention

“I have some last words. Let’s get the hell out of here; we’re going home.” Frank Gifford, to his wife, Kathie Lee, on her final appearance as co-host of “Live! With Regis & Kathie Lee”

“These dogs wanted Elian to stay in the U.S. They fought for it. They watched him on TV.” Jacqueline Stallone, Sylvester’s mom, on her two teacup Dobermans, which she claims use her to channel their psychic predictions

“I couldn’t control who wasn’t here [last year], but I know it made people critical of my performance, and I thought a lot about that. A lot. All winter, all spring, all May and June, and all up the mountains… This is a vindication.” Cyclist Lance Armstrong, the cancer survivor whose victory in 1999’s Tour de France was marred by the absence of several key competitors, on his triumph again this year

“Only one person is going to be picked, and the others will not be.” Al Gore, master of the obvious, on the reasons for keeping his list of vice presidential possibilities top secret

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Robert Velasquez”

“Putin is in Sochi on vacation. Putin isn’t leaving Sochi. The sailors on the Kursk are prisoners of his pride.” A Russian political commentator, on President Vladimir Putin’s decision to remain at the Black Sea resort and to deny early assistance from the British Navy

“The presidency is more than a popularity contest.” Al Gore, accepting the Democratic Party’s nomination for presidential candidate at last week’s Los Angeles convention

“Last night we heard a laundry list of new promises… intended to cover up old failures.” George W. Bush, campaigning in Tennessee, Gore’s home state

“I am at the moment studying all kinds of politics in America and reaping financial gain from such activities. How American can you get? Isn’t democracy such a wonderful thing?” John Lydon, a.k.a. Johnny Rotten, formerly of the Sex Pistols, on his new job as a political commentator at last week’s Democratic convention, for Internet broadcaster eYada.com

“Even if Shakespeare were alive, he couldn’t bear to write about this human tragedy.” North Korean Cho Jung-Young, forced to leave his South Korean relatives after a reunion of South and North Korean families, the first such meetings allowed by the Korean governments for 50 years

“When they gave me that political nonsense, they didn’t feel like my own sons.” Eighty-four-year-old South Korean Lee Jong Sung, on his long-awaited reunion with his two sons in North Korea, and of their incessant praise for the North’s leader, Kim Jong Il

“Personalities should not take center stage.” Helmut Kohl, who as chancellor unified East and West Germany, explaining his reasons for not attending an official celebration of the 10th anniversary of the unification in Dresden in October

“The timing of this leak stinks to high heaven.” White House spokesman Jake Siewert, on reports that the independent counsel has impaneled a new grand jury to further explore President Clinton’s conduct during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The news broke just hours before Gore took the stage to deliver his acceptance speech. On Friday, Judge Richard D. Cudahy admitted to inadvertently mentioning the impanelment to a reporter from the Associated Press.

“I just couldn’t resist.” Bill Clinton, on stopping at McDonald’s for a crispy chicken and fries during a post-convention campaign stop in Michigan

“There has been 70 years of kissing at Odeon cinemas and long may it continue.” Odeon spokesman Michael McLean, denying reports that one of its cinemas in Birmingham, England, had banned couples from kissing in its theaters

“It’s a new little piece of Beatles.” Paul McCartney, on the release of “Free Now,” a dance track he compiled from the group’s 1960s recording sessions

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Nicole Hill”

“I think I have given evidence that I need to be in church.” President Bill Clinton, in a frank talk before a gathering of evangelical ministers

“Well, we’re going to put him on a diet. He’s going to be smaller, thinner, less noticeable.” White House spokesman Joe Lockhart, on what can be done to keep Clinton from hogging the spotlight during Gore’s campaign

“John Hagelin is a log that has been thrown on the railroad tracks of a runaway train and will not even slow us down.” Pat Buchanan, whose emphasis on ultraconservative issues has sharply divided the Reform Party, on Hagelin, who is fighting him for the party’s nomination

“If you have hate in your heart, get out the door, we don’t want you.” Russell Verney, the Reform Party’s former chairman, addressing the splinter convention of more moderate Reformers who insist Hagelin, not Buchanan, is their nominee

“While Tony Blair and my father may wax lyrical about it… the special relationship existing between the U.K. and the U.S. does not apply to [relationships between] teenage British boys and American girls.” Fifteen-year-old Mary-Catherine Lader, daughter of the American ambassador to Great Britain, who told Tatler magazine that British guys are “scrawny, pale and unhealthy looking” and tend to sport “too-tight trousers”

“It’s a safety issue, really.” Sgt. James Mulligan, on six Ft. Myers, Fla., residents arrested for lewd behavior at a downtown nightclub’s “Erotic Strawberry-Eating Contest”

“The execution of persons who are mentally retarded serves no principled purpose and demeans our system of justice.” Martha Barrett, of the American Bar Association, in a failed attempt to persuade Texas Gov. George W. Bush to halt the execution of convicted rapist and murderer Oliver Cruz, who defense psychologists say was mentally retarded. The execution was one of two that took place in Texas within hours of each other.

“You can’t imagine the feeling of pending doom when smoke blacks out the sun and embers rain down.” Eric Ekeberg, the battalion chief in charge of firefighting in the Santa Monica Mountains, on the wildfires sweeping across the Western United States

“I can live my life and be Alice Cooper the golfer or the restaurateur or the philanthropist. If you want to see the other Alice, you have to go see the show.” Rocker Alice Cooper, on his “good guy” life despite his “bad boy” image

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “Patrick Anderson”

“This little boy, who has been through so much, deserves to be with his father.” Doris M. Meissner,commissioner of the Immigration and Naturalization Service, defending the decision to send Elian home despite anti-Castro protests in Miami

“There needs to be something hillbilly about this if I’m going to move here!” PresidentBill Clinton,after the Chappaqua, N.Y., fire chief jokingly referred to his department as the “Hill-Billy” firehouse

“My interest in politics is not very high at all right now.” Monica Lewinsky,on whether she’s planning to campaign for any presidential candidates in 2000, on “Larry King Live” last week

“As a person who has been successful on our program, she’s done great. But as a person to look up to, there are certainly some issues there.” David Lahey,owner of Jenny Craig weight-loss locations in Iowa and Wisconsin, who refused to air the new Lewinsky ads on moral grounds

“Possibly you could make him governor of Madagascar.” Franklin D. Roosevelt,suggesting in May 1943 what Winston Churchill should do with French Resistance leader Charles de Gaulle, from newly released British records that reveal the war leaders’ shared animosity for the French general during WWII

Dr.Matthew Carter,epidemiology-program coordinator for the Connecticut Department of Public Health, on the medical consensus that it’s been a bad year for the flu epidemicRichard Zurek,the Mars Polar Lander project scientist, on the crater that may have marooned the spacecraft, now missing for more than a monthMike Ditka,who was fired as coach of the New Orleans Saints, three days after finishing a 3-13 seasonNAACP presidentKweisi Mfume,on the lack of minorities on network television, which NBC moved to address last week with an infusion of new writers and rolesManhattan federal JudgeShirley Wohl Kram,after she approved a $40 million settlement between Austrian banks and Holocaust survivors whose possessions were looted by Nazi officers during the war

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Martha Stebner”

Doris M. Meissner,commissioner of the Immigration and Naturalization Service, defending the decision to send Gonzalez home despite anti-Castro protests in MiamiJose Miguel Gonzalez,reacting to the news that Rep. Dan Burton had subpoenaed his son, Elian, to appear before a congressional subcommittee on Feb. 10, almost a month after the Jan. 14 deadline the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service set for the boy’s return to CubaCapt.Devi Sharan,pilot of the recently hijacked Indian Airlines Flight 814, on why he obeyed the terrorists’ demand to fly to AfghanistanDimitri Yakushkin,spokesman for Boris Yeltsin, commenting on the extensive entourage the former president took with him during his visit to Jerusalem last week, including 1,100 pounds of Russian delicacies, 3 tons of communications equipment, a doctor, a nurse, chefs and three armored limousinesState Department spokesmanJames P. Rubin,on the pace of peace negotiations between Israel and SyriaMonica Lewinsky,on whether she’s planning to campaign for any presidential candidates in 2000, on “Larry King Live” last weekDavid Lahey,owner of a Jenny Craig weight-loss franchise in Appleton, Wis., who refused, on moral grounds, to air the new Monica Lewinsky adsFranklin D. Roosevelt,suggesting in May 1943 what Winston Churchill should do with French Resistance leader Charles de Gaulle, from newly released British records that reveal the war leaders’ shared animosity for the general during World War IIRichard Zurek,the Mars Polar Lander project scientist, on the crater that may have marooned the probe, now missing for more than a month

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Brenda Koffman”

“Somehow, Times Square at New Year’s Eve seems the perfect place to hold this sign.” Philadelphia artistPeter Kelly,who heralded the millennium with a picket sign prophesying THE END IS NEAR

“I was bored out of my mind, feet hurt, cold, couldn’t go to the bathroom–but the music started kicking in, people started dancing, they gave me a balloon and a hat and I went wild.” Joe Haltaman,of Anchorage, Alaska, one of the million-plus people who toasted the millennium in Times Square

“I want to ask you for forgiveness because many of our hopes have not come true.” Russian PresidentBoris Yeltsin,announcing his resignation and naming Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, a former KGB agent, as his successor on New Year’s Eve–six months before the end of his term

“At no minute will there be a vacuum of power in the country.” Vladimir Putin,putting a foot down in his first few hours as president of Russia, after Yeltsin passed the torch

“What suffering, what dramatic events! But, also, what incredible achievements.” Pope John Paul II,79, highlighting the contrasts of the past century in his first blessing for the year 2000, given from his study window overlooking St. Peter’s Square in Rome

“We are Japanese. It is too hard to pronounce, and we cannot be bothered with it anyway.” Yaeko Mizoguchi,surrendering her struggle to pronounce the word “millennium”

“I hear that a millennium baby can claim four nationalities and be brought up by the state; is that true?” One of hundreds of expectant mothers in Beijing, where a millennial-baby boom has kept Chinese doctors scrambling since December

“This is Mother’s Day on Viagra.” Federal Communications CommissionerMichael Powell,likening phone-network congestion on New Year’s Eve to dial-up problems experienced on Mother’s Day

“Y2K this, Y2K that. I’ve just heard enough of it.” John Schultz,president of Front Row Center Ticket Service, in Pasadena, Calif., where ticket sales for the Rose Bowl game and parade were way down due to Y2K paranoia

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Olympia Butler”

“It would probably be more fun with the Palestinians. I think we have more in common with them… This is definitely a meeting between enemies of 50 years, not a gathering of cousins.” An Israeli official commenting on the atmosphere during peace negotiations between Syria and Israel that ended last Monday

“The problem is that you’re not 60 yet.” A Russian border guard explaining to a would-be refugee why boys and men age 10 to 60 trying to flee the fierce fighting in Chechnya are not being allowed to escape the war-ravaged country

“Perhaps I might be a little bit crazy because I would feel like breaking the neck of all those SOBs.” Juan Miguel Gonzalez,unleashing hostility toward Miami politicians protesting his son Elian’s return to Cuba

“You may be pleased to know that they almost certainly died of typhus, as did Anne Frank.” Holocaust revisionistDavid Irving,as he left the London court where his lawsuit against Penguin Publishing and author Deborah Lipstadt for libel is being tried, in response to a woman who told him her parents died in the gas ovens at Auschwitz

“I’m hated worldwide, not by the common people but by the authoritarians.” U.S. heavyweightMike Tyson,before he was notified that British authorities would permit him to enter the country last week, on the possibility that he might be refused entry due to his 1992 rape conviction

“What happened?” Nathaniel Abraham,14, the youngest American to be charged and convicted of murder, turning to his lawyers after being sentenced to seven years at a maximum-security juvenile-detention center in Michigan

“King is a martyr. There’s no question about that.” C. Eric Lincoln,a historian who specializes in the African-American church, on the naming of Martin Luther King Jr. as a candidate for martyrdom, one of 10,000 Christians under consideration for the Vatican’s list of 20th-century Christian martyrs

“Copying genes is very important for cell research and study, but I don’t think it will be the most interesting way to make people.” Dr. Arthur Caplan,director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, commenting on the announcement last week that scientists in Oregon have successfully cloned the first primate, a rhesus monkey

“I just have no first-hand experience.” Vice PresidentAl Gore,when asked by a reporter whether he thinks young women today are too promiscuous

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Jesus Wood”

“We are Japanese. It is too hard to pronounce, and we cannot be bothered with it anyway.” Yaeko Mizoguchi, giving up trying to say millennium”

“Somehow, Times Square at New Year’s Eve seems the perfect place to hold this sign.” Philadelphia artistPeter Kelly, welcoming the millennium with a picket sign prophesying the end is near

“I want to ask you for forgiveness because many of our hopes have not come true.” Boris Yeltsin,to the people of Russia, resigning as president on New Year’s Eve

“At no minute will there be a vacuum of power in the country.” Former KGB chief and Prime MinisterVladimir Putin, after being named to succeed Yeltsin

“India shall join hands across nations to rid the world of this crime against humanity. Let this be our first resolution for the new century.” India’s prime minister,Atal Behari Vajpayee,vowing a war against terror after Indian Arlines hijackers freed 150 hostages in exchange for the release of three jailed Muslim militants

“What suffering, what dramatic events! But, also, what incredible achievements.” Pope John Paul II, 79, reflecting on the past century during his first blessing for the year 2000, given from his study window overlooking St. Peter’s Square

“I hear that a millennium baby can claim four nationalities and be brought up by the state; is that true?” One of hundreds of expectant mothers in Beijing, where a millennial baby boom has kept Chinese doctors scrambling since December

“This is Mother’s Day on Viagra.” U.S. Federal Communications CommissionerMichael Powell, contrasting phone-network congestion on the new millennium’s eve with run-of-the-mill Mother’s Day dial-up problems

“It symbolizes that the ‘freedom flame’ can never be put down by anybody.” Nelson Mandela, passing a memorial candle to Thabo Mbeki, his successor as South Africa’s president, in a New Year’s Eve visit to his former prison cell on Robben Island

“It’s supposed to be ’the greatest show on earth.’ But it’s turning into the biggest cock-up.” Marine Grove, one of thousands of people who were chosen to attend London’s exclusive Millennium Dome party but never received their invitations

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Ellis Evans”

“A United Nations that seeks to impose its presumed authority on the American people without their consent begs for confrontation and–I want to be candid–eventual U.S. withdrawal.” Sen.Jesse Helms,reiterating his conservative stance on American sovereignty before the U.N. Security Council last week

“We hear you, but the idea in this house is that others must be heard as well.” French ambassador to the United NationsAlain Dejammet,responding to Helms’s remarks

“We have come to a consensus that Asahara was likely involved in the series of crimes he is charged with. Asahara is a genius in yoga and Buddhist meditation methods, and we will continue to practice those methods inherited from him.” Senior members of the Aum Shinrikyo, the Japanese cult whose leader, Asahara, is currently on trial for the 1995 sarin gas attack that killed 12 people and injured more than 5,000, in a statement last week announcing they were changing their name

“One must give them their due… Their fighting is, well, distinguished.” Russian Maj. Gen.Vadim Timchenko,commenting on the quality of Chechen rebels’ defense of Grozny, the capital

“I’m sure we all agree we have enough native-born perverts. We don’t need to import more.” INS officialDon Radcliffe,after authorities smashed a smuggling ring accused of importing Japanese women to Hawaii to staff a live pornographic chat room on the Internet

“Is that a place to celebrate Martin Luther King Day, to be on the same dais as the leader of the neo-Nazi party in Austria?” Former New York mayorEd Koch,on Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s visit to Austria last week*

*Correction: The event to which Koch refers took place in New York City. Giuliani did not visit Austria.

“They helped my family and everything. I will never forget that.” Remzie Shabiu,mother of Merita, the young girl killed last week, for which an American peacekeeper has been charged with murder and “indecent acts with a child,” commenting on the U.S. response to the tragedy

“These give me hope because I believe we can do many more things together.” Ismail Cem,Turkish foreign minister, after signing a series of accords with Greece last week that commit both countries to pursue peaceful relations

“They are just a bunch of frustrated women who want to be men.” Boxer and convicted rapistMike Tyson,referring to the British women’s groups who protested his presence in London, where he is scheduled for a Jan. 29 fight

“If you are incompetent for 3641/2 days a year, how can you expect people to act with remarkable efficiency for the one hour when it matters?” K. Subrahmanyam,a principal engineer of India’s nuclear policy, expressing concerns about that country’s ability to competently deal with potential security issues

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Dusty Tavolario”

“I will serve Russia in this post, as pensioner.” Boris Yeltsin,on being officially granted his retirement stipend of $400 a month, 75 percent of his presidential salary

“I don’t know if the Internet will be able to change stereotypes, but I hope so. I had people at Chrysler who were 40 but acted 80, and I had 80-year-olds who could do everything a 40-year-old can.” Novice e-entrepreneur and former carmakerLee Iacocca,75

“I’d join her if I were younger.” Brigitte Bardot,65, on reports that high taxes have driven French supermodel Laetitiaa Casta, 21, to move to London

“I have nothing in common with Barbie. I get the creeps when I’m compared with that doll.” Norwegian pop starLene Nystrom,singer of the 1997 hit single “Barbie Girl,” reacting to public comments on her recent breast-implant surgery

“Struggle is good for you. If people avoid struggle, they decay. Life has been very easy for Jemima. Maybe I’m a godsend, to make her struggle.” Pakistani cricket idolImran Khan,on the challenges met by his wife, British-born heiress Jemima Goldsmith, in adapting to life in Lahore

“If we all stop broadcasting for two years, maybe young Cambodian girls will stop wearing short skirts and start wearing more traditional clothes.” Cambodia’s prime minister,Hun Sen,threatening to shut down the country’s TV stations if they keep showing “sexy young singers wearing short skirts”

“It would perhaps have been better if the game had been called off, and I sincerely hope that before a ball is kicked, some respect is paid to those lads who are not coming back.” Leeds United Supporters Club chairmanRay Fell,after two English fans were killed before an away game by the British football team in Turkey

“We are tired of being in the shadow of our men.” SherpaMigma Yangje,aiming to lead the first team of Nepalese women to scale Mount Everest

“Every fatality is a tragedy–not just for the people that own the horse, but for us as well.” Charles Barnett,managing director of Liverpool’s Aintree track, where four horses died from falls and another of a heart attack during the preliminaries to last week’s Grand National steeplechase

“Bringing refreshment into the room, and the presence [of anyone but members] in the nonpublic area of the room… are prohibited. Application of either rule should be taken to include babies and the feeding of babies.” British M.P.Sir Alan Haselhurst,on a new formal ban on women parliamentarians’ breast feeding in committee meetings

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Danielle Owsley”

“There is finally justice.” Mary Farnan,44, a smoker with cancer, who was awarded $2.85 million by a Miami jury in a class-action lawsuit against cigarette makers

“Twice is enough.” Steve Forbes,after two failed attempts at the presidency

“I think we have a few less day-traders starting tomorrow and a few more Prozac takers.” Arthur Cashin,PaineWebber’s director of NYSE floor operations, referring to Wall Street’s roller-coaster ride last Tuesday

“We are tired of being in the shadow of our men… If they can do it so can we.” SherpaMigma Yangje,leader of a group that hopes to be the first team of Nepalese women to scale Mount Everest

“You can’t base your economy on selling cigarettes, alcohol and fireworks.” Jack Fiander,member of the Yakama Nation Tribal Council, which has banned alcohol on its Washington reservation

“It was a king size.” County assistant district attorneyJodi Brown,after a Tyler, Texas, jury sentenced a man who stole a Snickers bar to 16 years in prison

“I would name this bus ride as the uh, uh… Straight Talk Jr.” Republican Sen.John McCain,of Arizona, when asked what he would call the bus he was preparing to board with New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani

“I am immensely indifferent to whether I keep on living.” Swedish directorIngmar Bergman,admitting in a rare interview that he has considered suicide since the death of his wife, Ingrid

“[G]o worship God or Buddha or whatever, but not me.” Leslie Bibb,star of WB’s “Popular,” reacting to the adulation expressed by fans

“Thank you, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Kansas.” George W. Bush, in a press release issued at the end of Tuesday’s primary voting, although there was no Kansas primary

“Now my case rests with God.” Former Pakistani leaderNawaz Sharif,after a verdict that jailed him for life for his attempt last October to divert a plane carrying the Army chief who overthrew him

“[T]he inmates are trying to take over the asylum, and they’re having some success.” Michael Holland,a money manager, on the perks Wall Street firms are giving employees to keep them from going dot-com

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Jamie Rudolph”

“This very moment holds within it 2,000 years of history. And their weight is almost too much to bear.” Israeli Prime MinisterEhud Barak,on the pope’s visit to the memorial

“Once I was deflowered, they weren’t interested in me.” President Clinton,at Amber Fort in Jaipur, India, where he was accosted by monkeys attracted by his leis

“The college decided to change the name of the production because we felt that using the name in the title would be offensive to some people.” Palm Beach Atlantic College spokeswomanBecky Peeling,on the Christian college’s spring musical, “D@#$ Yankees”

“What we’ve been able to determine is that he was using some nylon string—something like dental floss—and was putting an abrasive on it like toothpaste and was able to saw through the bar that way.” Alfred M. Stringfellow,chairman of the Texas Board of Criminal Justice, describing how inmate Antonio Lara might have escaped from his east Texas prison cell

“Alzheimer’s disease doesn’t make special arrangements for presidents or First Ladies.” Maureen Reagan,urging a Senate committee to increase federal spending on Alzheimer’s research

“Putin’s whole style reminds me of a policeman in the provinces.” Georgi A. Arbatov,denouncing Russian TV ads tying a Vladimir Putin rival, Grigori A. Yavlinsky, to Jews, gays and foreigners

“When you have a law that treats an entire class of people as second-class citizens, it suggests that you can treat them that way.” C. Dixon Osborne,codirector of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a legal-aid group, on a Pentagon survey that found anti-gay bias common in the military

“He just knew he wanted to go to jail and be with his mother.” Police ChiefJohn Higgins,citing the reason a sixth grader gave for holding his classmates and teacher hostage at McKinley Elementary School in Lisbon, Ohio

“More than likely, they were accidentally put in the wrong sack and went to another post office.” Owen Eubanks,a supervisor with the U.S. Postal Service in Pensacola, Fla., on the whereabouts of local postal personnel’s paychecks

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “David Prine”

“I’m glad the vice president has seen the wisdom of the way.” George W. Bush,reacting to Al Gore’s statement that he now supports granting permanent residency to Elian Gonzalez

“Cherie has made her position clear… but I have got to make sure the country is properly run, too, so, anyway… " British Prime MinisterTony Blair,on his wife’s plea that he take paternity leave when their fourth child–due in two months–is born

“I would vote for a woman for the presidency in some situations, but again, there’s a certain shame attached.” University of Texas professorMarvin Olasky,an adviser to George W. Bush, in the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

“I’m going to get a red pen and circle all the mistakes.” Iowa state Rep.Brad Hansen,on the large, plywood postcards that Iowa StateUniversity students sent lawmakers asking them to protect higher-education funding. The students misspelled “Legislature” as “Legislture” and “affordability” as “affordibility.”

“We have gone beyond a time of tolerance and acceptance to a time of embracing the souls of gay and lesbian Jews.” Valerie Lieber,of the Gay and Lesbian Rbbinic Network, praising the decision by Reform rabbis who declared gay unions “worthy of affirmation”

“It’s good to be counted. It makes you know you’re alive.” Lendo Armstrong,a homeless man, after filling out his form with a Census worker at a shelter in Washington, D.C.

“If the people of [Minnesota] can put a wrestler in office, I don’t see what’s wrong with the people in Wisconsin electing an Elvis impersonator.” Phillips, Wis., mayoral candidateElvis Aron Presley,on his electoral chances

“I wish to avoid any confusion caused by others who wish to mislead and confuse voters.” House Democratic LeaderRichard A. Gephardt,who changed his ballot name to “Richard A. (Dick) Gephardt” because of challenger Richard A. Gebhardt

“It feels odd sleeping with a lady.” Newly knighted business tycoonRichard Branson,who, with his wife, will now be known as Sir Richard and Lady Joan

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Annie Jamal”

“ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER WACO? WE ARE.” A question for Attorney General Janet Reno, on a sign carried in a 75-car convoy of supporters of the Miami relatives of Elian Gonzalez

“We’ve got kids wearing 300 pounds of jewelry and pants down past their butts. I don’t see how the Ten Commandments could all of a sudden start offending people.” Indianapolis school-board memberDonald Payton,on a proposal to post the commandments alongside other historical documents in the district’s public buildings

“I don’t care if Jesus Christ himself shows up to clean a river for Earth Day Network, it won’t be published in my column.” USA Today editorCesar Soriano,after finding that he had published items that were sent out as part of an April Fools’ gag by Grist, an online magazine affiliated with the Earth Day Network

“They can land a man on the moon, but they can’t get their answering-machine message right.” Florida Sen. Bob Graham’s chief of staff,Ken Klein,whose April 3 message was mistakenly played as part of NASA’s afterhours greeting

“If it’s $20 or $40 for a half-hour, it’s well spent.” The Rev.Michael Pfleger,a Roman Catholic pastor in Chicago, who buys time with prostitutes in order to talk about the Gospel and encourage the women to change their lives

“We are not a banana republic. We Peruvians need to defend our national sovereignty.” Francisco Tudela,President Alberto Fujimori’s running mate, complaining of foreign interference as officials from the United States and other nations expressed concerns about fraud in the first round of the country’s presidential election

“This wasn’t about a historian with a controversial view of history. This was about a man… making up, distorting, perverting, manipulating.” Deborah E. Lipstadt,after British writer David Irving lost the libel case he brought against her for calling him a dangerous Holocaust denier in a book she published in 1993

“Mine is a form of municipal transportation, although it is exclusive to me.” MayorWillie Brown,of San Francisco, who plans to travel to the Giants’ season-opening game in his official Lincoln Town Car, although transit agencies are encouraging the use of public transit to the ballpark

“We’ve been unbowed for 45 years. We’ll be unbowed for all time.” Sam Reese Sheppard,after a Cleveland jury rejected his efforts to prove the innocence of his deceased father, Dr. Sam Sheppard, in the death of his wife more than four decades ago

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Jack Graf”

“I’m glad the vice president has seen the wisdom of the way.” George W. Bush,reacting to Al Gore’s statement that he now supports granting permanent residency to Elian Gonzalez

“I’m being persecuted.” Former Israeli prime ministerBenjamin Netanyahu,after police recommended that he and his wife, Sara, be tried for illegally keeping $100,000 worth of gifts received on behalf of the Israeli people

“What’s your name?” Three-year-oldSol Masters,addressing Queen Elizabeth II during her 16-day tour of Australia. Britain’s monarch declined to answer.

“We firmly deny that there was any contact whatsoever.” A spokeswoman for Australian Prime Minister John Howard,denying tabloid reports that Howard touched the back of Queen Elizabeth II during her visit

“Cherie has made her position clear… but I have got to make sure the country is properly run, too, so, anyway… " British Prime MinisterTony Blair,on his wife’s plea that he take paternity leave when their fourth child–due in two months–is born

“It’s uncomfortable and hot.” ItalianLuca Raetano,protesting a new law requiring helmets for motorbike drivers. Italy was the last nationin the European Union to pass such a law.

“I would vote for a woman for the presidency in some situations, but again, there’s a certain shame attached.” University of Texas professorMarvin Olasky,an adviser to George W. Bush, in the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

“We have gone beyond a time of tolerance and acceptance to a time of embracing the souls of gay and lesbian Jews.” Valerie Lieber,of the Gay and Lesbian Rabbinic Network, praising the decision by Reform rabbis who declared gay marriages “worthy of affirmation”

“It’s good to be counted. It makes you know you’re alive.” Lendo Armstrong,a homeless man, after filling out his form with a Census worker at a shelter in Washington, D.C.

“It feels odd sleeping with a lady.” Newly knighted business tycoonRichard Branson,who, with his wife, will now be known as Sir Richard and Lady Joan

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Kim Forbess”

“Cubans respect the law, but we are like bees. We are very nice and make honey. But if you push the bee, we will sting.” Miami residentJesus La Rosa,threatening to strike back at federal officials if they try to forcibly remove Elian Gonzalez from his relatives’ home

“Why are we here? Because the life we are leading is no longer a life, because we are being killed, beaten, arrested. Because we live in misery, humiliation and sorrow.” Serb opposition leaderVuk Draskovic,at a Belgrade rally protesting the autocratic rule of Slobodan Milosevic

“It’s not really support or even expectation. It’s like when a relief pitcher comes in and everyone says, ‘We’re counting on you’.” Japanese entertainerShinsuke Shimada,describing the public attitude toward LDP veteran Yoshiro Mori, who took over after Prime Minister Keizo Obuchi suffered a stroke April 2

“I don’t want one, and I’m prepared to stand before any bar of justice that I have to stand before.” U.S. PresidentBill Clinton,declaring that he would not accept a pardon after he leaves office to avoid prosecution of any charges related to the Monica Lewinsky or Whitewater scandals

I am not at all anti-Semitic. It is not anti-Semitic to be critical of the Jews.” British historianDavid Irving,after losing a libel suit he brought against American professor Deborah Lipstadt for accusing him of “Holocaust denial” in a 1993 book

“We are not a banana republic. We Peruvians need to defend our national sovereignty.” Francisco Tudela,President Alberto Fujimori’s running mate, complaining of foreign interference as officials from the United States and other nations expressed concerns about fraud in the first round of the presidential election

“There is a kind of India that we all carry around with us, and no one can take that away from us. But I needed to see how things have changed. I needed to drink it all up… I hope we can turn the page.” Salman Rushdie,during his first trip back to his native India since Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeini issued a death warrant against him in 1989 for allegedly blaspheming Islam in his book “The Satanic Verses”

“Every year the international financial system kills more people than World War II. But at least Hitler was mad, you know.” London independent mayoral candidateKen Livingstone,claiming that capitalism causes millions of deaths a year by its failure to ease Third World debt

“Now I’m longing for a warm shower, clean underwear and food.” SwedeOla Skinnarmo,after skiing 608 miles from Siberia to the North Pole in a record 48 days

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Kathy Hunter”

“This very moment holds within it 2,000 years of history. And their weight is almost too much to bear.“Israeli Prime MinisterEhud Barak,on the pope’s visit to the memorial

“Once I was deflowered they weren’t interested in me.” PresidentBill Clintonduring his visit to a 16th-century Indian citadel, Amber Fort, after discovering that monkeys living there were attracted to his flower lei

“India is mesmerized by Clinton. He’s cast a spell. Even the sanest of people have lost their reason.” Indian columnist and novelistShobha De,on the effects of President Clinton’s visit to India

“We are the craziest people in the world. We celebrate our tragedies. What victory, what freedom are they talking about?” Unemployed schoolteacherStojan Pantovski,after pro-government rock concerts held in Belgrade attracted fewer than 5,000 people on the first anniversary of the NATO air campaign

“In light of… the reality that each passing day is another day lost between Juan Gonzalez and his son, the court can only hope that those on each side of this litigation place the interest of Elian Gonzalez above all others.” U.S. district court JudgeK. Michael Moore,after finding that Attorney General Janet Reno has the authority to grant or deny the 6-year-old refugee asylum

“I have a lot of mixed feelings about this agreement, because I cannot understand why it took so long. But as the saying goes, better late than never.” Noah Flug,an Auschwitz survivor and one of the negotiators who helped determine that former Nazi slaves and forced laborers will receive as much as $7,500 each from the $5 billion fund established by Germany to compensate Nazi victims

“Alzheimer’s disease doesn’t make special arrangements for presidents or First Ladies.” Maureen Reagan,urging a Senate committee to increase federal spending on Alzheimer’s research

“We want to see if she’s still so fat.” Pia Kallmeyer,explaining why she joined hundreds of onlookers at the Henri Bendel store in New York to see Monica Lewinsky sell her handbags. Shoppers said the Jenny Craig spokeswoman looked trim.

“He just knew he wanted to go to jail and be with his mother.” Police ChiefJohn Higgins,citing the reason a sixth grader gave for holding his classmates and teacher hostage at McKinley Elementary School in Lisbon, Ohio

“I’m a poor man and I stumbled across, I guess, gold. And I gave it back.” Willie Fulgear,61, who sells discarded machine parts, after receiving a $50,000 reward for finding 52 of the 55 stolen Academy Awards in a trash heap

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Steven Miller”

“We need… the most complete and accurate count that is possible… I propose this evening a way to settle this matter with finality and justice in a period of days, not weeks.” Al Gore, suggesting that he and George W. Bush let the hand recounts continue, and have those final results determine the election

“This would be neither fair nor accurate. It would be arbitrary and chaotic.” Bush, rejecting the offer

DON’T BLAME ME. I THINK I VOTED FOR GORE. A new bumper sticker popping up in Florida

“Basically, she wants to decide the election herself.” Joe Lieberman, on Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who has repeatedly blocked Gore attempts to have hand recounts in certain counties

“I state categorically there was no intentional bias.” CNN chairman Tom Johnson, responding to suggestions from members of Congress that the networks called states too early, possibly costing Bush a victory in the popular vote

“According to our experience, the issue of allowing worshiping, allowing, [pause] that does not affect the regime but to improve our regime.” The garbled translation of President Bill Clinton’s live address on Vietnam TV, making his comments on human rights “totally incomprehensible” to many Vietnamese viewers

“It looks like Jerry Springer’s world, and we’re just living it.” Minnesota House Majority Leader Tim Pawlenty, on Gov. Jesse Ventura’s moonlighting as a color commentator for the new Extreme Football League

“I’m no high-up diva. I’m a regular diva.” R&B songstress Mary J. Blige, on her charity work

“She was wearing my dress. Now I can’t wear it.” A distraught Barbara Walters, on seeing Hillary Clinton in a gold Oscar de la Renta gown at the 200th anniversary of the White House. Walters had thought her dress was one of a kind.

“We really do believe in zero tolerance.” Barry McDevitt, Washington, D.C.’s Metro Transit Police chief, on the arrest of a 12-year-old girl eating french fries at a subway stop where snacking is prohibited

“No one dares to carry cigarettes… Everyone is afraid of getting accosted by the monkeys.” Deepak Kochgaway, a reporter with the Rashtriya Sahara newspaper, on wild monkeys in Patna, India, that have taken to smacking anyone they see smoking

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Kerry Martin”

“Whether you like us or not, we’re winners.” Yankee right fielder Paul O’Neill, on the team’s third consecutive World Championship–won in five games over the New York Mets

“Please give me your e-mail address.” Formerly reclusive North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, to Secretary of State Madeleine Albright

“None of us can get to the surface.” A note found in the shirt pocket of Lt. Capt. Dmitry Kolesnikov, one of the 118 crew members who died aboard the submarine Kursk

“He’s an attractive young man.” Senate candidate Hillary Clinton, when asked during a debate to name three things she likes about opponent Rick Lazio. He responded that she was also an “attractive woman.”

“He was also the guy who helped me study for my third-grade state-capital quiz. Seattle–I got it down.” Kristin Gore, on the academic prowess of her dad. The state capital is Olympia; Gore officials insist she was joking.

“Many people on board the aircraft were quite upset that there was a large uncontrollable pig on board, especially those in the first-class cabin.” US Airways incident report on a 300-pound “companion” pig that flew first class from Philadelphia to Seattle. The airline has said it will never happen again.

“It’s time for me to accept my responsibilities as a parent.” Country superstar Garth Brooks, announcing his semiretirement amid rumors of an impending divorce

“We are not going to roll over for these scabs.” Screen Actors Guild board member Steve Barr, insisting that even though the 25-week strike has ended, actors who crossed the picket line will be held accountable

“I know Howard was not looking for sex or a prostitute. He was looking for a hobby shop.” Jeff Anderson, attorney for a 72-year-old Minnesota judge who was picked up for soliciting

“I was hoping for an [on-screen] Jell-O fight.” “Titans” star Yasmine Bleeth, echoing the thoughts of many a viewer

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Lorri Willaims”

“I’m working very hard on this. I’m frustrated.” President Bill Clinton, on his efforts to broker a lasting ceasefire in the Mideast, where violence showed little sign of easing up last week

“Go ahead, I’m not worried. I had never wanted to be president anyway.” Indonesian President Abdurrahman Wahid, last Friday, challenging lawmakers to attempt impeaching him over charges of embezzlement

“If a little island resisted, then surely the continent of Bolivar can resist, the land of so many heroes.” Cuban President Fidel Castro, on his first state visit to Venezuela since 1959, backing Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez’s support for the United States-embargoed communist government

“He’s an attractive young man.” Senate candidate Hillary Clinton, when asked during a debate to name three things she likes about opponent Rick Lazio. He responded that she was also an “attractive woman.”

“Only Al Gore can beat Al Gore. And he’s been doing a pretty good job of that.” Ralph Nader, responding to critics who claim he could cost Gore this very close race

“He was also the guy who helped me study for my third-grade state-capital quiz. Seattle–I got it down.” Kristin Gore, on the academic prowess of her dad. The state capital is Olympia; Gore officials insist she was joking.

“It is possible that we are going to have an epidemic of accidents.” Jane Eason, of Britain’s Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, on the increasing public-health problem currently being caused by the craze for scooters in both the United States and Britain

“I am truly sorry for what has happened, and I apologize to the families who have suffered bereavement and those who are still fighting this terrible illness.” Conservative Party Agriculture spokesman Tim Yeo, on the Tory government’s handling of the “mad cow” catastrophe. His public apology followed the release of an official inquiry condemning Tory ministers, scientists and senior civil servants for not adequately making the risks of eating beef known to the public during the late 1980s and 1990s, when the crisis was at its peak.

“Many people on board the aircraft were quite upset that there was a large uncontrollable pig onboard, especially those in the first-class cabin.” US Airways incident report on a 300-pound “companion” pig that flew first class from Philadelphia to Seattle. The airline has said it will never happen again.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Walter Ramirez”

“We need… the most complete and accurate count that is possible… I propose this evening a way to settle this matter with finality and justice in a period of days, not weeks.” Al Gore, suggesting that he and George W. Bush let the hand recounts continue, and have those final results determine the election

“This would be neither fair nor accurate. It would be arbitrary and chaotic.” Bush, rejecting the offer

“DON’T BLAME ME. I THINK I VOTED FOR GORE.” A new bumper sticker popping up in Florida

“Basically, she wants to decide the election herself.” Joe Lieberman, on Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who has repeatedly blocked Gore’s attempts to have hand recounts in certain counties

“I state categorically there was no intentional bias.” CNN chairman Tom Johnson, responding to suggestions from members of Congress that the networks called states too early, possibly costing Bush a victory in the popular vote

“It looks like Jerry Springer’s world, and we’re just living it.” Minnesota House Majority Leader Tim Pawlenty, on Gov. Jesse Ventura’s moonlighting as a color commentator for the new Extreme Football League

“We are trying our best to get our people to stop shooting from Area A.” Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, for the first time calling an end to targeting Israelis in areas under complete Palestinian control

“Does this mean that there is a permission to continue shooting from other areas?” Israeli Gen. Giorta Eiland, responding to Arafat’s announcement

“Finally, America is coming to see Vietnam as your people have asked for years–as a country, not a war.” President Bill Clinton, during his visit to Hanoi, Vietnam. He is the first U.S. president to make such a trip.

“It’s obvious he’s moving goods from one place to another and that he’s looking for a home, somewhere to go after he has resigned or been ousted.” Peruvian opposition politician Luis Solari, on President Alberto Fujimori’s decision to extend his stay last week in Japan due to alleged health reasons. With his grip on power slipping at home, ithas been rumored that he is seeking asylum in Japan.

“Mad-cow disease exists and it’s serious.” European Commission President Roman Prodi, on the BSE controversy in Europe, which heightened last week when Italy introduced a ban on French beef from high-risk animals and beef on the bone

“I like spending my money.” Singer Elton John, justifying to the High Court in London his having spent[Pound sterling]30 million in just under two years. John is currently suing former manager Andrew Haydon for mishandling his finances and costing the star millions.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Melvin Unrein”

“There have been two votes, and we’re pleased with the results of the two votes.” George W. Bush, on the still-undecided Florida count and recount

“You don’t have to get snippy.” Al Gore, when calling Bush to retract his concession

“We don’t just have egg on our face– we have an omelet all over our suits.” Tom Brokaw, on the networks’ prematurely calling Florida–twice

“Most of those are probably not my vote, and that may be enough to give the margin to Mr. Gore.” Pat Buchanan, on the butterfly ballot in Palm Beach County

“I don’t think [Nader] is going to build a Green Party any more than O.J.’s out there looking for the murderer.” Environmental Working Group president Ken Cook, joining the chorus of liberals accusing Ralph Nader of costing Gore the election

CONVENTIONAL WISDOMSpecial Historic Hanging Chad Election Edition

PlayersConventional Wisdom Gore = Upside: Got more votes than anyone since Reagan. Downside: He still might lose and go home to a state that snubbed him. Bush = Once (and future?) president-elect attacks Democrats for considering suit, then files one of his own. Now, that’s snippy. Nader - Egotistical would-be spoiler falls far short of 5 percent and wrecks his own rep. Now it’s the Gangrene Party. Hillary + Carpetbagger worked herself into the job, Queen of the Senate. Bonus for the right: Fund-raising red meat still around. Jeb Bush - No matter who wins this election, his Sunshine State looks like a banana republic. Oh, brother. Bill Clinton + Self-described “quacking duck” is loving every minute of the fray. Coming soon: Chappaqua SUV and Senate wives’ cloakroom. James Baker - The Velvet Hammer returns, sans velvet. He’s spouting election-law double talk; smells desperate. Chad - Left dangling, those punch-ballot paper specks leave nation hanging too. CW sez: Time for Internet voting. Media - Fla. miscalls right up there with DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN. Hint: Send reporters into field, lay off a few bloviators. But loved Russert’s white board.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Isreal Duff”

“Here is a man that I have never heard anybody criticize once for improper conduct as governor, for improper taking of political funds, for payoffs, for impropriety in the governor’s mansion or at any time.” Reform Party founder Ross Perot, endorsing Bush

“You can get the next best thing.” Bill Clinton, responding to a radio-show caller who wished the president could serve a third term

“Don’t hide anymore. Are people’s lives more important or [Singapore Airlines’] reputation?” Tan Yin Leong, whose brother died in the crash of Flight SQ006, which killed at least 81 passengers and left 82 others injured. Many relatives have lashed out at the airline for failing to keep them informed in the hours after the crash in Taipei.

“I was not outplayed at the board but was completely outprepared.” Garry Kasparov, on his defeat in the world chess championships at the hands of Vladimir Kramnik, a former pupil

“[John Ashcroft] is not running against one opponent, he’s running against three: Mel Carnahan, now a legend; Jean Carnahan, the bereaved widow, and the media. You just have to ask–what can the guy do?” Rick Hardy, a University of Missouri political-science professor and ex-GOP congressional candidate. Mel Carnahan died in a plane crash while campaigning for the Senate seat, but his wife has agreed to serve the term should her late husband win.

“We pray for a day without funerals.” Former Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres, who worked with Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat and Israeli officials to reach a tenuous ceasefire–even as the violence continues

“What was taken by force must be returned by force.” Hamas, in a statement rejecting the truce and calling for a continuation of the “blessed intifada”

“It has to be a case of mistaken identity.” North Carolina Sen. John Edwards, on being named People magazine’s “sexiest politician”

“How can a trail running shoe… help me avoid compressing my spinal cord into a slinky on the side of some unsuspecting conifer, thereby rendering me a drooling, misshapen… husk of my former self?” Text from a Nike print advertisement that drew sharp criticism from people with disabilities, prompting a formal apology from the apparel and shoe giant

“Even though he has leukemia, his hormones are still running like crazy.” Jim Walsh, whose 15-year-old son’s wish came true when three Hooters waitresses visited his hospital room

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Manuel Stringer”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “John Beyer”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Alvaro Boone”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Barbara Fontaine”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Timothy Bowman”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Tod English”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Lottie Gregory”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Jeremy Setchell”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “James Barrier”

“Count first, and rule upon legality afterwards, is not a recipe for producing election results that have the public acceptance democratic stability requires.” Justice Antonin Scalia, explaining the United States Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling granting Bush a stay and halting manual recounts underway in Florida

“Someone will be happy or unhappy, but that’s not a reason to conceal what those votes are.” Al Gore’s lawyer David Boies, arguing that halting the vote counts only obscures the true winner. Just a day before, the Gore team had scored a major victory when the Florida Supreme Court called for a manual recount of disputed ballots.

“We look forward to arguing before the U.S. Supreme Court. Our argument is based on the fundamental principle of one person, one vote and the need to count all the votes.” A spokesperson for Al Gore, as the Democratic legal team moved to present its case

“There are those who doubt the mandate I received from the citizens of Israel. Tomorrow I will advise the president of my resignation.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, triggering new elections–which he termed a “referendum on peace”–within 60 days

“The verdict is unjustifiable… It has cast a shadow over our relationship.” White House spokesman P. J. Crowley, on the state of U.S.-Russian relations after the 20-year espionage sentence handed to American businessman Edmond Pope last week in Moscow. In response to pleas from the White House, President Vladimir Putin has indicated that he will pardon Pope.

“This is just a wake-up call for me.” Impeached Philippine President Joseph Estrada, as long-awaited trial proceedings began last week into charges of corruption, which he still denies

“I share his dreams completely. I, too, am a dreamer who has seen his dreams turn into reality.” Cuban leader Fidel Castro, honoring John Lennon as a “revolutionary” hero on the 20th anniversary of the singer’s death

“Norfolk Police are certain that the real Santa would not approve of people behaving in this way. And of course [Santa] will continue his pre-Christmas visits and delivery of gifts everywhere on Christmas Day.” A London Police spokesperson on the arrest of a Santa impersonator picked up for fighting

“The devil made me do it.” Shinichi Fujimura, of Tsukidate, Japan, apologizing for planting artifacts, which he then claimed were Stone Age tools, in his hometown. Tsukidate attracted thousands of tourists before he finally confessed.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Ricky Peres”

“I can’t recuse myself from my constitutional duties as governor of the state and I can’t recuse myself, frankly, of being my brother’s brother either.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, who announced he would sign a legislative bill awarding the state’s 25 electoral votes to George W

“I think he’s having a case of ethical amnesia.” Gore adviser Greg Simon, responding to Jeb Bush

“I said, ‘I’ve always liked [CNN analyst Bill] Schneider, and you wouldn’t even let me listen to the s.o.b.’ " Former president George Bush, to his wife, Barbara, who dislikes Schneider’s political commentary. The elder Bush regretted missing Schneider’s declaring George W the president on election night.

“I may not have been the greatest president, but I’ve had the most fun eight years.” President Bill Clinton, enjoying his final months in office

“There may be a few people out there who still want to look at certain parts of my anatomy we’ve not yet revealed, but I’m going to keep part of it private.” GOP vice presidential hopeful and four-time heart-attack survivor Dick Cheney, responding to allegations that he has not been honest about the status of his health

“They did the same thing to Linda Tripp. If you can’t find anything on a woman, make fun of the way she looks. If that doesn’t stick, start a phony sex rumor, because it’s like fog. You can’t make it go away.” Lucianne Goldberg, on reports that journalists are scrambling to find a Katherine Harris scandal “I’m not a movie star. I’m just a guy with a drug problem.” What Robert Downey Jr. reportedly told police while in custody again for drug charges

“I want out. I want out now.” The first words spoken by magician David Blaine after spending 62 hours inside a six-ton block of ice in New York’s Times Square

“I guess everyone was just happy that the world didn’t blow up.” Michael Hinck, spokesperson for the Flushing Hospital Medical Center in New York, on the birthrate boom in area hospitals about nine months after the millennium

“Tell me, what do you eat on Thanksgiving?” Host Jerry Springer, to Miss Turkey during the 50th annual Miss World contest. Miss India, 18-year-old student Priyanka Chopra, took home the crown.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Melisa Allen”

“Just moments ago, I spoke with George W. Bush and congratulated him on becoming the 43rd president of the United States. And I promised him that I wouldn’t call him back this time.” Al Gore, in his concession speech

“Zero.” Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, when asked by a student what role a justice’s politics played in his or her decisions

“The American people have spoken, but it’s going to take a little while to determine what they said.” Bill Clinton, on the election uncertainty

“If we say somebody’s carried the state, you can take that to the bank. Book it!” CBS anchor Dan Rather, on election night before Florida was taken away from Gore

“We don’t just have egg on our face – we have an omelet all over our suits.” Tom Brokaw, NBC’s anchor, after prematurely calling Florida – twice

“You don’t have to get snippy.” Al Gore, after he called George W. Bush to retract his concession

“This is boring! …All I could think of was, now I know what people went through when they were trying to watch the basketball game and my Bronco was going up the freeway.” O.J. Simpson, on the ballot-filled Ryder truck being trailed by news helicopters in Florida

“How do you compromise? We’re in court. What are we going to do, arm-wrestle?” Gore campaign chairman Bill Daley, reacting to inaccurate rumors of a settlement deal between the Republicans and Democrats over the recounting of votes in Florida

“Maybe she’s used to showing a few tourist delegations around the state, but all of a sudden it was, ‘Oh, my God, it’s the national press. Get my eyelashes!’ “Boston University journalism professor Caryl Rivers, on Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris

“Every big-shot attorney in the United States is now in Florida, so here’s what happens: if we were to have a hurricane … this whole thing could still have a happy ending.” David Letterman, on the contested presidential election in Florida

Don’t blame me. I think I voted for Gore. A new bumper sticker popping up in Florida

“I want to see George W. Bush as the winner. Of course I do. I’m his dad.” George H.W. Bush, on his son’s contentious run for the presidency

“Oh, I thought you said some band. The Taliban in Afghanistan! Absolutely. Repressive.” George W. Bush, while completing a pop quiz in Glamour magazine

“I’m the governor of the state. I can’t recuse myself from my constitutional duty as governor of the state, and I can’t recuse myself, frankly, of being my brother’s brother, either.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, on his role in the election of his brother George W. Bush as president

“He’s probably the least qualified person ever to be nominated by a major party. What is his accomplishment? That he’s no longer an obnoxious drunk?” Ron Reagan, son of the former president and a Ralph Nader supporter, on Bush

“I can’t stand it!” Pennsylvania’s Republican Gov. Tom Ridge, barking at a television set that showed Gore’s statement after Florida officials certified the state’s vote, and Gore announced he planned to contest it

“I put all my sighs in a lockbox.” Al Gore, on the collegial tone of the second presidential debate

“It’s pretty bad when you have got to pretend to be a dog or a cat to get a price break.” Gore, who was criticized for wrongly claiming that his mother-in-law pays three times more for arthritis medication than his dog

“I’ve filmed a lot of bizarre things, but I’ve never seen anything this bizarre. It enhanced my feeling that the man is certifiably insane.” TV satirist Michael Moore, after Republican presidential candidate Alan Keyes dived into a mosh pit and bodysurfed through the crowd in exchange for the “endorsement” of Moore’s cable-TV show

“This can’t be Naomi Wolf’s idea of an alpha male.” Republican National Committee Chairman Jim Nicholson, on a report that Al Gore uses a makeup wand to spray a mist of foundation on his face to cover blemishes

“I thought I was watching the Magic Kingdom. They did everything but sing ‘It’s a Small, Small World’.” Gore campaign chairman Bill Daley, on the effort by organizers of the Republican National Convention to include people of color in their weeklong program

“Miracles happen.” Connecticut Sen. Joseph Lieberman, agreeing to be Al Gore’s running mate. Lieberman is an Orthodox Jew, the first ever on a major-party ticket. “Only Al Gore can beat Al Gore. And he’s been doing a pretty good job of that.” Ralph Nader, responding to critics who were predicting he could cost Gore the race

“We don’t play ball that way. I’m not that clever.” Media consultant Alex Castellanos, who produced an ad for the GOP that briefly flashed the word rats across the screen in an alleged attempt at subliminal messaging

“That great sucking sound you hear is the sound of the media’s lips coming off of John McCain’s …” Marvin Bush, brother of Republican hopeful George W, during the GOP primaries

“Strap on your seat belt. The roller-coaster ride has just begun.” Al Gore spokesman Christopher Lehane, early in the presidential race

“The presidency is more than a popularity contest.” Gore, accepting the Democratic Party’s nomination at the Los Angeles convention

“I’ve got good celebrities.” Green Party candidate Ralph Nader, on supporters like Warren Beatty, Susan Sarandon and Pearl Jam

“Ralph is going to fertilize our natural strengths.” Longtime Green Party member Ross Mirkarimi, on the party’s decision to nominate Ralph Nader for president of the United States

“Never, in times so complex and chaotic as these, have we faced two contenders who are so boring and insipid.” Fidel Castro, on Gore and Bush

“The other day I got a call from Jenny Craig, wondering if I wanted to lose 30 pounds…so it’s not all bad. It’s not all that tough out there.” The elder George Bush, reflecting on his postpresidential life while promoting his son’s political agenda just before the Iowa caucuses in January

THE CLINTONS “I may not have been the greatest president, but I’ve had the most fun eight years.” President Bill Clinton, enjoying his final months in office

“I think historians will look at Bill Clinton with puzzlement and make the following judgment: that it was a great waste.” Sen. John McCain, in an interview with Esquire magazine

“So little time, so many unanswered questions. For example, over the last few months I’ve lost 10 pounds. Where did they go? Why haven’t I produced them to the independent counsel?” Bill Clinton, spoofing his last months in office as a lame-duck leader during the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

“Evidence was insufficient to prove to a jury beyond a reasonable doubt that either President or Mrs. Clinton knowingly participated in any criminal conduct.” Independent counsel Robert Ray, in closing the six-year, $52 million Whitewater investigation

“I just couldn’t resist.” Bill Clinton, on stopping at McDonald’s for a crispy chicken and fries during a postconvention campaign visit to Michigan

“Sixty-two counties, 16 months, three debates, two opponents and six black pantsuits later, because of you, we are here.” Hillary Rodham Clinton, addressing supporters after being elected senator from New York

THE WORLD “I expect for the first time in four months to hug my son.” Juan Miguel Gonzalez, father of Elian, upon his arrival in Washington, D.C.

“This may seem very scary. It will soon be better.” A female immigration agent to Elian Gonzalez, as she carried him from the house

“I am writing blind…There are 23 people here… none of us can escape.” A note found in the pocket of Lt. Capt. Dmitry Kolesnikov after his body was recovered from the Russian submarine Kursk

“The next few days, I’m going fishing.” Nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee, on his release after being held in prison without bail for nine months

“The recipe to our family’s carrot cake is probably more secure than this country’s nuclear secrets.” Florida Rep. Mark Foley, voicing widespread concern about security breaches within the Los Alamos lab’s X Division

“I just killed your husband.” An unidentified man’s voice on the cell phone of Yossi Avrahami, an Israeli who crossed into Palestinian territory and was lynched there, to Avrahami’s wife, Hani, who had called to see if he was OK

“I was living for this day. I was prepared to give everything, to give my life, to see Milosevic go.” Jovice Miric, an auto mechanic who stormed the Yugoslavian Parliament building to oust President Slobodan Milosevic

BUSINESS “They’ve bought the BMW, and they have the $3 million Mill Valley house. And they still wake up in the morning and say, ‘I don’t feel good about myself’.” Bay Area psychologist Stephen Goldbart, cofounder of the Money, Meaning and Choices Institute, highlighting the perils of Sudden Wealth Syndrome

“I feel this indescribable joy when I hear one of these companies has run out of money.” Richard Marquez, a San Francisco social worker, on the once hot and now cold dot-com market

“Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! Agghhhhhh!” Julia Pickar, who left an Internet company to start her own, as she watched the Nasdaq signboard in Times Square

“I did it with as much excitement as I felt the first time I made love some 42 years ago.” Time Warner vice chairman Ted Turner, conveying the climactic feeling of sealing a $165 billion megadeal with AOL

“That day was the scariest day of my life … all of a sudden I heard this awful noise and what I thought was a blowout. I thought I was going to flip into the ditch …I know I didn’t run over anything …the tread peeled off my tire.” Motorist Henry Schroeder, in a 1998 written complaint to Bridgestone/Firestone about the company’s ATX tires

“It seems to me that alarm bells were ringing, but that the people in a position to do something weren’t listening.” Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, opening congressional subcommittee hearings on the Firestone tire recall

“Microsoft as it is presently organized and led is unwilling to accept the notion that it broke the law.” Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson, in his decision to split Microsoft into two companies

LIFESTYLE “Individual women [on Viagra] were jumping for joy, but overall the results didn’t show any difference that was statistically significant.” Rosemary Basson, author of a 2000 study on women and Viagra

“No one on our side knew that canyon was there. All of a sudden, two weeks later we got this data and it was like, ‘Look at that hole!’ " Richard Zurek, the Mars Polar Lander project scientist, on the crater that may have marooned the missing spacecraft

“Though I’ve worked many years to make marriage more equal, I never expected to take advantage of it myself.” Feminist Gloria Steinem, announcing her marriage to entrepreneur and activist David Bale

“Gloria Steinem’s marriage is proof positive of the emotional desperation of aging feminists who for over 30 years worshiped the steely career woman and callously trashed stay-at-home moms.” Cultural analyst Camille Paglia, on Steinem’s first marriage at the age of 66

“Those big shots up there in Washington get their medicine for free. If it weren’t for my children helping me, I guess I’d be in the soup line.” Eighty-three-year-old Jane Roberts, on the burden pricey prescription drugs place on her fixed income

“CU me.” Stacy Jolles, asking her partner, Nina Beck, to join her in a gay civil union, which is now legal in Vermont

“While I express my opinions from the perspective of an Orthodox Jew and a staunch defender of the traditional family, in talking about gays and lesbians some of my words were poorly chosen.” Radio and television host Laura Schlessinger, in a full-page ad apologizing (sort of) for her controversial comments about gays and lesbians

“Pride and anger can be virtuous or vicious. Sports can build up or take away.” The Rev. John E. Farrell, during the funeral of Michael Costin, the Massachusetts father who was fatally injured in a brawl with another father over their youngsters’ hockey game

“I’m not just a lazy teenager who wants to get rid of homework so I don’t have to work. Too much homework cuts away at other activities that are just as valuable to the human experience.” Elizabeth Singleton, a high-school freshman in Potomac, Md., on the obvious disadvantages of having too much homework and not enough time

“Technically speaking, these attacks are one step up from spray paint on the highway overpass.” Paul Saffo, of the Institute for the Future, a technology consultancy in Silicon Valley, describing the low-tech nature of the “denial of service” bombardments that wreaked havoc on many of the Web’s most popular sites

“This is not a magic pill, and it’s not going to end the abortion debate in the United States.” Vicki Saporta, executive director of the National Abortion Federation, on the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of RU-486. The so-called abortion pill allows women to terminate early-stage pregnancies without surgery.

“And they’re not even drunk.” Olympic 400-meter champion Cathy Freeman, on how happy her brothers seemed when she followed her winning race with a victory lap, carrying both Australian and Aboriginal flags

“I would have to be an absolute moron…an absolute moron…with the things that have been laid on me, to grab a kid in public or curse a kid in public.” Former Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight, disputing an allegation that he had violated his school-imposed “zero tolerance” probation by grabbing and berating a freshman

“I thought you were talking about a sandwich shop.” Stephanie Netolicky, of Ankeny, Iowa, when asked about the Subway Series

THE ARTS “It must have been a boring year to have so many people worried about my hair.” “Felicity” star Keri Russell, on the drop in her show’s ratings after she chopped off her long locks. Her hair has since grown back and the ratings have rebounded.

" ‘The Plant’ will be going back into hibernation.” Author Stephen King, explaining that he planned to stop posting chapters of his first pay-as-you-read electronic book, in part because readers weren’t paying for the chapters they were reading

“It was either another face-lift or Barbra. I chose Barbra.” A woman in New York picking up her $2,500 ticket for one of Barbra Streisand’s last live concerts

“Sometimes it’s Britney Spears and sometimes it’s Carrie Fisher. I can’t tell if I’ve got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.” Ben Affleck, on tabloid reports pairing him with various women

“We are in the dormitory, strategizing. Hermione thinks we should tell everything to Dumbledore. But I have a better idea. I have a fantastic idea. My idea is this: Hermione and I should have sex…” From a Modernhumorist.com spoof combining Harry Potter and the best-selling memoir by Dave Eggers

“Omigod, you guys, I seriously do not have a speech prepared whatsoever.” Teen pop star Christina Aguilera, accepting her Grammy Award for best new artist

“I consider myself to be one of the most moral and ethical people I’ve ever met.” Richard Hatch, “Survivor’s” Machiavellian strategist, after capturing the $1 million prize during the show’s two-hour finale last summer

“If I found you thirsty by the side of the road, I wouldn’t give you water. I’d let the vultures get you.” Truck driver and “Survivor” finalist Susan Hawk, explaining to Kelly Wiglesworth why she hoped Richard Hatch would defeat her former ally

“Every time a relative sues me or a critic slams me, I sell more records.” Controversial rapper Eminem a.k.a. Marshall Mathers, accepting one of his three MTV Video Music Awards

“It took something like this to make the Miss American Pageant look good to me.” Patricia Ireland, president of the National Organization for Women, referring to “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?”

“You know when you love someone so much you can almost kill them? I was nearly killed last night.” Newlywed Angelina Jolie, on life with Billy Bob Thornton

“We stayed home, we stayed in the word of God. We stayed in bed…” Talk-show host Kathie Lee Gifford, on mending her marriage with Frank Gifford

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Claudia Yoon”

“Count first, and rule upon legality afterwards, is not a recipe for producing election results that have the public acceptance democratic stability requires.” Justice Antonin Scalia, explaining the United States Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling granting George W. Bush a stay and halting manual recounts underway in Florida

“Someone will be happy or unhappy, but that’s not a reason to conceal what those votes are.” Gore lawyer David Boies, arguing that halting the vote counts only obscures the true winner. Just a day before, the Gore team scored a major victory when the Florida Supreme Court called for a manual recount of disputed ballots.

“We look forward to arguing before the U.S. Supreme Court. Our argument is based on the fundamental principle of one person, one vote, and the need to count all the votes.” A spokesperson for Vice President Al Gore

“There are those who doubt the mandate I received from the citizens of Israel. Tomorrow I will advise the president of my resignation.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, triggering new elections–which he termed a “referendum on peace”–within 60 days

“Everyone else is here because of their win; I’m here because of my loss.” Missouri Senator-elect Jean Caranhan. She filled the seat of her posthumously elected husband, Mel, who died in a plane crash while campaigning.

“Life wouldn’t be worth living if we didn’t have pretty women. That’s natural. Any normal man likes to be around pretty women.” South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, on his 98th birthday

“I don’t know if I’d ever use that stall again.” Tom Childers, on discovering a dead deer in a dormitory shower at Penn State University

“We have spent so much time raging against one another that we have often left raging against the machine by the side of the road.” Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello. The band’s frontman, Zack de la Rocha, quit last month, citing a breakdown in the group’s decision-making process.

“Norfolk Police are certain that the real Santa would not approve of people behaving in this way. And of course [Santa] will continue his pre-Christmas visits and delivery of gifts everywhere on Christmas Day.” A London Police spokesperson, on the arrest of a Santa impersonator picked up for fighting

“I share his dreams completely. I, too, am a dreamer who has seen his dreams turn into reality.” Cuban leader Fidel Castro, honoring John Lennon as a “revolutionary” on the 20th anniversary of the singer’s death

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Mae Merida”

“How can we teach our children that every vote counts if we’re not willing… to count every vote?” Joe Lieberman, Gore’s vice presidential hopeful, announcing plans to contest Florida’s certification

“Now that the votes have been counted, it’s time for the votes to count.” George W. Bush, announcing plans to form a transition team

“There were an awful lot of great people who had been breaking their behinds for about 20 hours a day the past two weeks.” Judge Charles Burton, head of the Palm Beach counting panel. Because the hand recount was not completed by 5 p.m. Sunday, Katherine Harris refused to include any of the votes from the hand count.

“We’re preparing contest papers that will be filed Monday, as early in the day Monday as we can get them done.” David Boies, Al Gore’s lead attorney, on the legal battle just beginning in the state of Florida

“I can report that when they got in there today, they didn’t find any pregnant chads at all.” Republican vice presidential candidate Dick Cheney, on the angioplasty he underwent after a minor heart attack

“I’m Madeleine Albright, secretary of State of this United States. And please don’t say anything about my makeup.” Albright, during a luncheon, alluding to the chatter about Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris’s overly made-up appearance

“Cases of this nature do not often occur in our country.” Official statement from Cuba’s Communist Party, on an Elian-like international custody battle over a 5-year-old American boy who was taken to Cuba by his mother without his father’s permission

“Your publicly announced sexual orientation is diametrically opposite to admonitions in the Bible.” Evelyn Haugh, a board member of the Gospel Rescue Mission, asking Arizona Rep. Jim Kolbe not to help serve Thanksgiving dinner this year because he’s gay

“Opening a coffee shop in the Forbidden City is like splattering black paint on the portrait of Chairman Mao.” A Beijing resident, protesting the building of a Starbucks in the ancient home of China’s emperors

“I always wondered what happened to that dude. It got awful quiet over there.” Toledo, Ohio, resident Dean Nowakowski, on his former neighbor who disappeared two years ago. A man recently bought the neighbor’s house at a sheriff’s auction and, upon moving in, discovered the resident’s remains.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Mary Lightfoot”

“I am confident the United States Supreme Court is not going to overturn this election.” David Boies, Al Gore’s lead attorney, on the high court’s decision to hear George Bush’s appeal of the state Supreme Court’s decision allowing manual recounts in three counties

“I can report that when they got in there today, they didn’t find any pregnant chads at all.” Republican vice presidential candidate Dick Cheney, on the angioplasty he underwent following a minor heart attack

“I don’t care when it’s dated, whether it’s witnessed or anything else. If it is from someone serving this country… count it. And salute them when you do it.” Georgia Sen. Zell Miller, a Democrat and an ex-Marine, on the battle brewing about whether to count military absentee ballots without postmarks

“I’m Madeleine Albright, secretary of State of this United States. And please don’t say anything about my makeup.” Albright, during a luncheon, alluding to the chatter about Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris’s overly made-up appearance

“You must trust your butcher.” German Agriculture Minister Karl-Heinz Funke, telling consumers not to worry about the safety of German beef, as cases of BSE were discovered throughout Europe last week and the current crisis worsened

“Cases of this nature do not often occur in our country.” Official statement from Cuba’s Communist Party, on an Elian-like international custody battle over a 5-year-old American boy who was taken to Cuba by his mother without his father’s permission

“Opening a coffee shop in the Forbidden City is like splattering black paint on the portrait of Chairman Mao.” A Beijing resident, protesting the building of a Starbucks in the ancient home of China’s emperors

“We have to see a day without Palestinian funerals.” Chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erakat, calling Israeli officials to “accurately implement” ceasefire agreements already in place, as violence raged on last week

“If they are cornered, they will fight.” Bernard Kouchner, the United Nations administrator in Kosovo, on the risk of a return to conflict if independence-seeking Kosovo Albanians are not given the right to a general election

“The only birthday gift I would send him is an arrest warrant.” Human-rights lawyer Hugo Gutierrez, on former Chilean ruler Augusto Pinochet’s turning 85 last weekend. Charges are still pending for alleged human-rights violations during his dictatorship, and the retired general’s health, which kept him from facing charges in Spain, is considered to be worsening.

“I feel good… I determine when I die.” Former South African president Nelson Mandela, joking about his need to undergo prostate tests after high protein levels were found in his blood

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Melody Jenkins”

“After what I saw on the ground–body parts, heads split open, guts spilled–I am afraid to be alone with myself. There is a nightmare in my head.” Israeli Pvt. Moshe Saroussi, after watching a bus driven by a Palestinian plow into a crowd of Israeli soldiers, killing eight people”

“Get over it. I don’t produce work that necessarily looks good over somebody’s couch.” Renee Cox, artist of “Yo Mama’s Last Supper,” a work depicting Christ as a naked woman, which prompted New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani to propose the creation of a “decency panel””

“I have just made a colossal mistake… Instead of losing 25 pounds, I gained them.” Luciano Pavarotti, at a Valentine’s Day news conference in London

“It’s a lot like Kournikova at a Grand Slam tournament: she arrives with great fanfare, attracts lots of attention, then does nothing.” Wired News writer Michelle Delio, on the Kournikova computer virus

“This guy showed up in an Elvis suit and used the N word… This is unacceptable behavior.” San Francisco city attorney’s spokesman Nathan Ballard, on an Elvis impersonator who has been stalking Mayor Willie Brown

“In a word: hallelujah.” Eugenie Scott, director of the National Center for Science Education, reacting to the Kansas Board of Ed’s decision to reinstate the teaching of evolution

“No thanks. I’m thinking.” Actor Keanu Reeves, declining a couple’s invitation to join their table at a New York City restaurant

“Most Napster users have always had a sense that this is too good to be true. And it is.” Scott McCleary, a musician in Vancouver, B.C., on music-swapping Web site Napster, which lost a court battle this week and will likely be shut down

“I was blindsided by this. There’s not a single, solitary shred of evidence that I did anything wrong, or that his [Rich’s] money changed hands.” Former president Bill Clinton, denying any wrongdoing in the Marc Rich pardon fiasco

“That it was one of our own [is what] really shocked us the most.” Gallaudet University grad Christian Wojnar, reacting to the news that a GU student was arrested in the murders of two classmates

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Vanesa Mcdonald”

“After what I saw on the ground–body parts, heads split open, guts spilled–I am afraid to be alone with myself. There is a nightmare in my head.” Israeli Pvt. Moshe Saroussi, after watching a bus driven by a Palestinian plow into a crowd of Israeli soldiers, killing eight people

“Today every Palestinian is like a Scud missile.” Israeli David Bar Maoz, denouncing Palestinians for their part in the violence

“Get over it. I don’t produce work that necessarily looks good over somebody’s couch.” Renee Cox, artist of “Yo Mama’s Last Supper,” a work depicting Christ as a naked woman that prompted New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani to propose the creation of a “decency panel”

“I have just made a colossal mistake… Instead of losing 25 pounds, I gained them.” Luciano Pavarotti, at a Valentine’s Day news conference in London

“I was blindsided by this. There’s not a single, solitary shred of evidence that I did anything wrong, or that his [Rich’s] money changed hands.’’ Former president Bill Clinton, denying any wrongdoing in the Marc Rich pardon fiasco

“It’s a lot like Kournikova at a Grand Slam tournament: she arrives with great fanfare, attracts lots of attention, then does nothing.” Wired News writer Michelle Delio, on the “Kournikova” computer virus

“Now they will have to call me Reverend–but I’ll answer to Play for short.” Carl Lindley, from Manchester, England, on recently officially changing his name to Reverend Playstation Two

“In a word: hallelujah.” Eugenie Scott, director of the National Center for Science Education, reacting to the Kansas Board of Education’s decision to reinstate the teaching of evolution

“No thanks. I’m thinking.” Actor Keanu Reeves, declining a couple’s invitation to join their table at a New York City restaurant

“Most Napster users have always had a sense that this is too good to be true. And it is.” Scott McCleary, a musician in Vancouver, B.C., on the music-swapping Web site, which lost a court battle this week and will likely be shutting down its giveaway of music

“She looked mad, and I couldn’t figure out why she looked so mad.” Albuquerque metro court Judge Denise Barela Shepherd, who performed the marriage ceremony of a man who broke into the home of his ex-girlfriend on Valentine’s Day armed with an ice pick, and forced her to marry him

“I get seasick, but I’m getting over it.” Welsh poet Gwyneth Lewis, after getting a £75,000 grant to sail around the world in search of inspiration

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Joyce Halbert”

“I was not out there hawking last-minute pardons and selling my reputation. The merits were on our side.” Jack Quinn, former White House counsel toBill Clinton,on his role in securing a pardon for clientMarc Rich

“To save a lot of cable traffic now, I have no food preferences, no drink preferences; a cheeseburger will be fine. I like Holiday Inns.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, warning foreign embassies not to waste time or money on frills for him when he visits

“No one gets to stay forever. And it’s better to leave when someone wants you.” Bill Clinton, to a fan in Chappaqua who told him she wished he could still be president

“We’re receiving 99 years for a robbery for $68, and nobody’s injured.” Re-arrested Texas escapee Donald Newbury, on why the criminal-justice system in Texas “has really gone to the pits”

“I wouldn’t want any unneutered Clintons in my house.” Former Labor Secretary nominee Linda Chavez, wondering about the reproductive status of Socks the cat, whom she has offered to adopt

“It would have been ‘Wow,’ but the W was removed so now it’s just O.” Ari Fleischer, George W. Bush’s press secretary, on his reaction to the missing W keys on computer keyboards around the White House, a Clinton administration prank

“There’s some pretty foolish ostracism going on.” Ralph Nader, talking about the cold shoulder he’s gotten from Democrats in the aftermath of the presidential election

“It’s a stiff fine, and that’s no joke.” Horse trainer Neil Terracciano, after being fined $2,000 and suspended 60 days by the New York State Racing and Wagering Board because his thoroughbred tested positive for Viagra

“We’re so serious around this town, sometimes it’s like we’re sucking lemons.” Rep. J. C. Watts Jr., Republican of Oklahoma, talking about how welcome George W. Bush’s levity is on the Hill “We have not sold out. That’s scheduled for November 2002.” Robert Siegel, editor in chief of the satirical weekly newspaper The Onion, on criticisms that the longtime Madison, Wis., periodical doesn’t belong in New York, its new home

“It seemed like whenever we played him we found more of the skeleton.” Utah Museum of Natural History paleontologist Scott Sampson, on why his team named a dinosaur Masiakasaurus knopfleri in honor of Dire Straits’ guitarist Mark Knopfler

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Bernard Frazier”

“Will he make peace? Let’s see him first make a government.” Israeli columnist Nahum Barnea, on the landslide election of hard-liner Ariel Sharon

“I have to confess, it was hard for me to concentrate in the conversation with Condoleezza Rice because she has very nice legs.” Sharon, on his meeting last summer with the newly named national-security adviser

“I am actually for the first time looking forward to a litigation.” O. J. Simpson, surrendering to authorities on charges stemming from a December road-rage incident. He insists the altercation is being “blown out of proportion.”

“We do all kinds of wonderful things together.” Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, on life with his seven blond girlfriends

“I have been a victim of a corrupt government.” Robert Pickett, the man who allegedly fired shots outside the White House, in a letter to the Internal Revenue Service

“Everything about it seems sleazy.” Connecticut Rep. Christopher Shays, during congressional hearings on Bill Clinton’s presidential pardon of fugitive Marc Rich

“The most important thing now is the search for the missing people.” Japanese Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori, on the nine people missing after a U.S. submarine struck a Japanese research vessel near Hawaii

“I’m the guy that brings in the beer.” MTV’s VJ/deity Carson Daly, on his role in an upcoming celebrity basketball game

“My apology is too late. It’s still the right thing to do.” Mikail Markhasev, who was convicted and sentenced for murdering Bill Cosby’s son in 1998, suddenlyconfessing to the crime

“All of it was there, to the penny.” FBI agent Bob Hawk, on a man who returned $640,000 several days after it fell off an armored truck

“Whether someone is a slut is a moral judgment. It is not the court’s role to rule on that.” Robert Glazier, attorney for the House of God. A Florida appeals court ruled that the woman whose pastor called her a slut could not sue the church.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Sylvia Lawrence”

“Hopefully he is not as stupid as he seems, nor as mafia-like as his predecessors were.” Cuban President Fidel Castro, taking his first shot at Bush

“No one gets to stay forever. And it’s better to leave when someone wants you.” Bill Clinton, to a fan in his new home of Chappaqua, New York

“It would have been ‘Wow,’ but the W was removed so now it’s just O.” Ari Fleischer, George W. Bush’s press secretary, on his reaction to the missing W keys on computer keyboards around the White House, a prank by departing Clinton staffers

“I wouldn’t want any unneutered Clintons in my house.” Former Labor secretary nominee Linda Chavez, wondering about the reproductive status of the Clintons’ cat, Socks, which she has offered to adopt

“It was overconfidence on my part. I am completely to blame.” Tarquino Arevalo, captain of the oil tanker that collided with rocks in waters near the Galapagos Islands, causing substantial damage to the unique environment

“It seemed like whenever we played him we found more of the skeleton.” Utah Natural History Museum paleontologist Scott Sampson, on why his team named a dinosaur Masiakasaurus Knopfleri in honor of Dire Straits guitarist Mark Knopfler

“This has kind of snowballed.” California businessman Dennis Tito, on reaching an agreement with the Russian Aviation and Space Agency to visit the new International Space Station for a week in April. (Tito originally paid $20 million for a trip to Mir, and is now delighted to be getting a much better deal than he bargained for.)

“They expect us to turn the other cheek, I guess.” Alessandra Mussolini, the granddaughter of the Italian dictator, protesting after an Italian court ruled that “bottom-patting is not a crime if it is impulsive and not done in a lustful manner”

“It’s a stiff fine, and that’s no joke.” Horse trainer Neil Terracciano, after being fined $2,000 and suspended for 60 days by the New York State Racing and Wagering Board because his thoroughbred tested positive for Viagra

“To save a lot of cable traffic now, I have no food preferences, no drink preferences; a cheeseburger will be fine. I like Holiday Inns.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, warning foreign embassies not to waste time or money on frills for him when he visits

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Julie Lashbrook”

“When I speak there will be three choices before the judges: to resign, to tell the truth or to commit suicide.” Libyan leader Col. Muammar Kaddafi, announcing that he will reveal new evidence proving the innocence of the convicted intelligence official

“We have nothing to eat, nothing to wear, nothing at all.” An earthquake survivor in Chopwadia, India. The Jan. 26 quake killed at least 30,000 people and left hundreds of thousands homeless.

“You cannot win against the people. I shall crush you.” Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, putting her ousted predecessor, Joseph Estrada, in his place after he vowed to fight to regain power

“We have a new island in the Galapagos, Isla Jessica.” U.S. Coast Guard Capt. Edwin Stanton, on the sunken oil tanker Jessica, which, after causing fears of endangering the environment, is developing into an artificial reef

It’s natural that it’s tough, it’s natural that it comes with violence.” Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, urging citizens to vote for him despite difficulties so far in resolving the peace process

“I was thinking: ‘Here I am, I’ve made some of the most horrific films, and now I’m in the White House’.” Horror-flick director Wes Craven, on filming Bill Clinton giving him a tour of the presidential residence during his last days in office

“I have no opinion. I had no opinion before. I had no opinion at the time. I have no opinion now.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, on the furor surrounding Bill Clinton’s presidential pardon of fugitive financier Marc Rich

“I think my party looks like a bunch of weenies.” CNN’s Bill Press, on Democrats’ cooperating with President George W. Bush during his first week

“It’s very expensive to be me.” Former Playmate and sometime actress Anna Nicole Smith, testifying about how she managed to spend $6.7 million in cash, jewelry and homes during her 14-month marriage to her late husband, octogenarian millionaire J. Howard Marshall II

“Our lunch is our most valuable time, and now we have to eat fingers.” A student at Barnstable High School, Massachusetts, when a fellow student found a human finger in his turkey sandwich. A lunch worker had apparently sliced it off the day before.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Latasha Wood”

“The best thing for America is for John Ashcroft to prove his critics wrong.” Illinois Sen. Richard Durbin, one of the 42 Democrats who voted against confirming the controversial Ashcroft as attorney general

“Twenty years for 270 murders is less than a month per victim. It’s just not right.” Peter Lowenstein, father of a young American killed in the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, on the conviction of a Libyan intelligence official. Another defendant was acquitted.

“We have nothing to eat, nothing to wear, nothing at all.” A nearthquake survivor in Chopwadia, India. The Jan. 26 quake killed at least 30,000 people and left hundreds of thousands homeless.

“[The Palestinians] seem to think that they can get by force what they could not get at the negotiation table. We need a strong leader who won’t give in to violence.” Yudi Danski, an Israeli real-estate agent, explaining why hawkish hard-liner Ariel Sharon will likely defeat Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak

“Our lunch is our most valuable time, and now we have to eat fingers.” A student at Cape Cod’s Barnstable High School, after a fellow student found a piece of a human finger in his turkey sandwich. A lunch worker had apparently sliced it off the day before.

“It’s very expensive to be me.” Former Playmate and sometime actress Anna Nicole Smith, testifying about how she managed to spend $6.7 million on clothes, jewelry and homes during her 14-month marriage to her late husband, octogenarian-millionaire J. Howard Marshall II

“[Dilfer] had an outstanding game, and it was kind of a Disney story, kind of a Cinderella.” Disney World spokesman Dave Herbst, explaining why Ravens quarterback Trent Dilfer was picked to star in the “I’m going to Disney World” commercials, not Super Bowl MVP Ray Lewis. Lewis was arrested for murder a year ago, and pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice.

“The only comment I have is, Chuck Schumer would like to change his hair.” New York’s minimally haired Sen. Chuck Schumer, mocking the “debate” surrounding Hillary Clinton’s new hairstyle

“I think my party looks like a bunch of weenies.” CNN’s Bill Press, on Dems’ cooperating with George W. Bush during his first week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Grant Rogers”

“I know that once he is on a plane for the United States, he won’t be coming back.” Attorney Dominique Tricaud, on the extradition of ’60s radical Ira Einhorn, dubbed the Unicorn Killer, from France. He was charged with the murder of his girlfriend Holly Maddux and disappeared shortly before trial in 1981.

“No one has the right to be queer because this goes against nature.” Muhammad Zari, director of an Egyptian human-rights organization, on the trial of 52 men suspected of being gay

“Their reputation is already so bloody, it takes a lot for people to be shocked.” Richard Daynard, chairman of the Tobacco Products Liability Project, on a report commissioned by Philip Morris Cos. Inc. that claims that the premature death of smokers in the Czech Republic saved the government money on pensions, health care and elderly housing

“I think we explored the further reaches of ‘for better or for worse’ more than some other couples.” Mary Archer, wife of best-selling novelist and recently convicted perjurer Jeffrey Archer, on her husband’s affair with a former assistant

“If they refuse to apologize, we are prepared to protest by walking the streets of Lagos naked.” Alhaja Ali-Balogun, spokeswoman for the women’s caucus in Nigeria’s ruling People’s Democratic Party, threatening action to get equal treatment from men in the party

“I’m sure there’s a lot of literature there that could have got them excited.” A spokeswoman for the highbrow British Library in central London after a couple was found having sex in a toilet near the rare-books section

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-02” author: “Weston Adon”

“We offer our cooperation. We offer to work jointly. If there is no need that such joint work is needed, well, suit yourself.” Russian President Vladmir Putin, on the Bush administration’s plans for a missile defense shield

“It’s absolutely ridiculous and superficial to honor some actress who flew in, threw her hat and flew home.” Minnesota resident Jessica Bernard, on Minneapolis’s decision to allow cable network TV Land to install a bronze statue of TV character Mary Richards downtown

“The imminent danger is over, we hope, and she can get on the road to recovery.” Lou Taylor, spokesperson for 26-year-old model Niki Taylor, who was moved out of intensive care almost two months after she sustained liver damage in an Atlanta car accident

“He has all the right credentials. There was no need for him to fabricate any of this.” Amherst College senior Peter Juran, on reports that Pulitzer Prize-winning historian and professor Joseph Ellis misled students at Amherst and at Mount Holyoke College about his service in Vietnam and his involvement in the antiwar movement

“I didn’t wake up in the morning like it was Christmas morning and say, ‘Oh, my gosh, did I get my pardon?’ " Roger Clinton, who also said he was surprised to learn some of his friends did not receive eleventh-hour pardons from his brother, President Clinton

“They’re on the waiting list to be bumped. If seats become available they’ll get first class.” Massport spokesperson Phil Orlandella, on a potential upgrade for Pendicup and Kiley, two koala bears scheduled to fly in American Airlines coach seats from San Diego to Logan Airport for their three-month visit at Boston’s Franklin Park Zoo

“What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for? I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me.” Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman, before traveling to the Association of National Olympic Committees of Africa in Kenya to pitch his city for the 2008 Games. Lastman later apologized for the comment.

“I remember in kindergarten everyone got invited to a party but me and one other boy, and I just want to tell all the geeks that it does get better.” Mills College computer-science professor Ellen Sperus, who was crowned Sexiest Geek Alive last week at an annual Silicon Valley contest that drew 10,000 contenders

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Catrina Mock”

“It smells and tastes very much like a good corned beef. It’s got a nice odor to it and dogs just go quite bananas over it.” New Zealand farmer Bryan Bassett-Smith, on the appeal of his new dog food, Possyum, made from opossum meat. The marsupials are considered a pest in the country.

“We cannot tolerate that a woman walks in these premises dressed like this; this is intolerable.” Conservative Moroccan M.P. Abdelillah Benkirane, on the attire of female TV camera woman Amina Khabab. The debate over her jeans and T shirt caused a one-hour suspension of Parliament.

“You think of all the things people do to human beings and they get less time than him.” Jackie Figgins, on the three-year prison sentence given to her fiance, Andrew Burnett, for throwing a lapdog into oncoming traffic in a case of “road rage”

“We are not against the use of the Internet, but we are against the broadcast of obscene and immoral material on the Internet that is against Islam,” Taliban Foreign Minister Maulvi Wakil Ahmed Muttawakil, on a new decree banning the Internet in Afghanistan

“I came in a bad economy and I’m leaving in a bad economy.” GE chairman ‘Neutron’ Jack Welch, announcing his retirement will become effective in September

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Brenda Cronin”

“Don’t think for a minute that we haven’t taken a look at that sort of thing, because we have.’’ D.C. Police Chief Charles Ramsey, noting that Chandra Levy’s case does not fit patterns common to missing-persons cases

“We’ll have to take one day at a time.” Georgetown University Hospital’s Dr. Craig Winkel, on caring for septuplets born at the hospital 12 weeks premature on Friday. All seven infants were in critical condition.

“It’s almost like losing someone in your family. It’s kind of traumatic.” Wayne Pringle, co-chair of the Canadian International Turtle Derby, on canceling the race after 30 years

“Does this decision mean the Communist government will close sweatshops so China’s children can watch the Olympics?’’ Ohio Rep. Sherrod Brown, on the International Olympic Committee’s choice of China as the host of the 2008 Olympic Games

“We stand by our view that an e-book is a book.” Statement from Random House after a federal judge ruled that the term “book” in contracts does not include e-books, allowing authors to resell the digital rights to their published work

“He started screaming, ‘Let me out, let me out.’ That’s when I shot at him.” Mollie Johnson, a 79-year-old grandmotherwho fired two rounds at a burglar fleeing from her Baltimore home. She missed.

“Their timing could not have been worse.” Infertility expert Dr. Michael Soules, on the political ramifications of news that a Virginia clinic created human embryos to harvest stem cells

“I was flying around the bases.’’ Ironman Oriole Cal Ripken, on how it felt to hit a homer and be named MVP in his final all-star game

“It’s like eating a sweet with the wrapper; you cannot do that. You have to have sex, those who will die will die, and whoever does not get AIDS, then good for him.” Kenyan cab driver James Karijoki, ignoring President Daniel Arap Moi’s calls to use condoms or abstain from sex to curb the spread of AIDS

“The majority has essentially authorized a judicially imposed ‘credit check’ on the right to bear and beget children.’’ Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Ann Walsh Bradley, dissenting her bench’s ruling that a man who failed to pay child support for his nine children can be legally barred from procreating unless he can support all his offspring

“If this is what it takes to win in football, then football ought to be eliminated.” Midwest Drums Corps chair Greg Orwoll, on football players who injured students while running a drill through, and into, band members practicing on the Northern Illinois University field

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “John Boyd”

“I was a soldier, but I know of no enemy in war more insidious or vicious than AIDS.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, renewing the government’s commitment to fighting the epidemic, in an address to the United Nations

“If I went into politics, I could stay in acting and never have to change roles.” Ex-president Bill Clinton, explaining why he gave up his theatrical ambitions in favor of politics, to graduating seniors at the Professional Performing Arts School in New York

“I usually like to walk around in a perpetual fog. [But] I’ve been so shaken up lately that I can’t even bring myself to smoke weed.” Pro-pot activist and actor Woody Harrelson, on his close friend and fellow activist Joe Hickey’s recent and life-threatening bicycle accident

“He’ll have visitation rights.” Former secretary to the president Betty Currie, on Bill Clinton’s relationship to First Cat Socks, adopted by Currie in January

“I don’t care if he’s in kindergarten. If he can play ball, bring him on.” Washington Wizards fan Bradley Mason, on fresh-out-of-high-school draft pick Kwame Brown

“In the pool, yes. But not in the lake.” Florida resident Dagmar Dow, on whether she’ll swim again after being attacked by a nine-foot gator at Florida’s Lake Como Nudist Resort last week

“I figured he was just trying to get out of paying a 30- or 40-cent fine.” Circulation clerk Macey Sullivan, on the man who claimed a book he was returning to Cincinnati’s Kenton County Public Library was 70 years overdue. The $500 fine for the book, due in 1927, was waived.

“Darn if he didn’t pick up on the fact that I’d had a good night’s sleep.” Georgia Sen. Zell Miller, on a reporter who mistook his soft tone of voice for a softening opinion on the plan to eliminate B-1 bombers built in Georgia

“Democrats are for beer and girls. Republicans are for cold beer and hot girls.” South Carolina GOP Chair Henry McMaster, to 800 teen boys at a Palmetto Boys State leadership camp debate. He later apologized for the comment.

“We are the caretakers of God’s creation. We have a moral obligation to treat them humanely, and, when we do slaughter them, to do so in a painless manner.” Burger King spokesman Rob Doughty, outlining his company’s policy toward treatment of animals

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Bobbi Hudson”

“I was a soldier, but I know of no enemy in war more insidious or vicious than AIDS.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, renewing the U.S. government’s commitment to fighting the epidemic, in an address to the United Nations

“We began all suddenly to sing.” Tenor legend Luciano Pavarotti, on an impromptu duet of ‘O Sole Mio’ performed with Chinese President Jiang Zemin during a lunch date on a recent tour of the country

“It must be the strangest contract in the history of football.” Soccer player Spencer Prior, reflecting on a clause in his agreement with Cardiff City that requires him to eat sheep’s testicles and a cooked sheep’s brain. The terms were laid out by team owner Sam Hammam, who believes the move will bring good luck.

“If I went into politics, I could stay in acting and never have to change roles.” Ex-president Bill Clinton, explaining his career choice to graduating seniors at the Professional Performing Arts School in New York

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Russell Leslie”

“The murderers have walked away to a life of luxury, a bought home, a bank account and 24-hour protection.” Denise Fergus, mother of murdered toddler James Bulger, on the parole of his two teenage murderers eight years after the crime

“What the hell would I want to go to a place like Mombasa for? I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me.” Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman, before traveling to the Association of National Olympic Committees in Kenya to pitch his city for the 2008 Games. Lastman later apologized for the comment.

“It’s an unholy alliance between pepper spray and the rubber bullet.” Activist Paul Marini, protesting the San Diego Police’s planned use of PepperBall guns, loaded with small plastic balls filled with pepper dust. About two dozen of the guns were recently purchased to address potential problems at this week’s biotechnology convention, where protests are anticipated.

“Concentrate on producing more children.” Sri Lankan Prime Minister Ratnasiri Wickremanayake, requesting assistance from the Sri Lankan populace to fill the dwindling ranks of the Army and clergy

“I am not a terrorist and I condemn terrorism.” New Yorker Lori Berenson, accused of collaborating with the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement, pleading her case before a Peruvian court in a second trial. She was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Gloria Richardson”

“You cannot spin this report to make it sound positive; there is nothing positive about it.” William Dudley, director of domestic economic research at Goldman Sachs, on new figures that show unemployment rising to 4.5 percent

“We ask the court to recall that our nation was conceived in the civil disobedience that preceded the Revolutionary War.” Defense lawyer and former New York governor Mario Cuomo, pleading Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s case to a Puerto Rican court. Kennedy was sentenced to 30 days in jail for protesting American bombing runs on Vieques.

“It’s an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country.” George W. Bush, asked at the Jefferson Memorial about the true meaning of July 4

“It had to remain secret. If anybody found out about this relationship, it was done, over, kaput.” Linda Zamsky, describing her niece Chandra Levy’s depiction last fall of an alleged affair with California Rep. Gary Condit

“There are seven presidential elections until I’m Don Rumsfeld’s age. We’re not has-beens. We’re retreads in waiting.” Bruce Reed, 41, president of the Democratic Leadership Council and Bill Clinton’s former domestic-policy chief, on his plans for the future

“We expect him to be candid with us and truthful with us.” U.S. Attorney Kenneth Melson, on FBI spy Robert Hanssen’s agreement to reveal the secrets he learned during his years of espionage as part of a plea bargain to avoid the death penalty

“There obviously should be some sort of oversight. I mean, we even regulate day-care centers.” Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley, on a private Arizona boot camp for delinquents, where a 14-year-old boy died on July 1

“It’s nice to know they have a sense of humor.” An unnamed State Department official who told Reuters that China has sent America a $1 million bill for expenses allegedly incurred while holding a U.S. spy plane for two months

“It certainly demonstrates an incomprehensible insensitivity.” Malcolm Hoenlein, executive vice chairman of the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations, on plans to build a resort at the Eagle’s Nest, Adolf Hitler’s Alpine hideaway

“I don’t know where he got the idea other than the fact that he always enjoyed the fireworks.” Marianne Tait, on her husband’s final wish for his ashes to be launched in a July 4 fireworks shell

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Ellie Maisch”

“It is white.” George W. Bush, asked what the White House is like by a student at Morningside Primary School in East London

“A young woman called and said, ‘I want to discuss the Web with you.’ I immediately started thinking of something kinky.’’ Fun-loving San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, at the city’s annual Webby Awards ceremony, recalling a 1997 invitation to a similar bash

“No, I have said that I am not running and I’m having a great time being presi– being a first-time senator.’’ New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, responding to a query about a possible run for the presidency during a policy speech to the National Press Club

“He woke up this morning sort of croaking and making some noises.’’ Lynne Cheney, describing the vice president’s laryngitis

“I don’t think I’m welcome in Sitka anymore.” Youth leader Paul Miller, whose church group had to be airlifted from an Alaska island on Thursday after reattempting a 1999 hike that also ended with an airlift

“I picked up all lingerie on the streets by pure chance.” Japanese Finance Ministry official Sadao Ushimura, as quoted by police who found more than 400 pieces of women’s underwear in his home

“All I say to Democrats is: Welcome to the majority. This is what the minority does to the majority.” Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott, on hardball Republican tactics that stalled debate in the Senate on Thursday

“We’re told some of the boxcars are actually glowing.” Baltimore Fire Department spokesman Hector Torres, on a still-raging train-tunnel fire that shut down half the city

“We knew a square ball wasn’t cool. It was all we could do.” Nolan Bushnell, creator of the groundbreaking but graphically spare 1972 videogame Pong, in a speech at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art’s “ArtCade: Exploring the Relationship Between Video Games and Art”

“You don’t know if he’s coming back, don’t know whether to go on and look for a new love.” Former Gore adviser Ray Buckley, likening erstwhile Gore voters to the girlfriends of missing soldiers

“I want to see Jeb Bush beaten.” Former U.S. attorney general Janet Reno, on the Florida governor’s re-election campaign

“You are the weakest link, goodbye.” Message scrawled on a package containing a bomb sent by Christopher Bishop, to his wife. The bomb exploded, but Tracy Kilgroe-Bishop suffered only minor burns.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Justin Haddix”

“I’m in a firing mood.” Massachusetts acting Gov. Jane Swift, unaware that her microphone was on, on Logan International Airport security changes

“Don’t repeat the terrible mistakes of 1938, when the enlightened democracies in Europe decided to sacrifice Czechoslovakia for a comfortable, temporary solution.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, on Arab pressure for the United States to weaken its support for Israel. The White House condemned the remarks.

“Is all this fuss just for me?” Sen. Strom Thurmond, 98, on the reaction to his collapse on the Senate floor

“Anthrax happens.” North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services spokeswoman Debbie Crane, on whether the first U.S. pulmonary-anthrax case since 1976 is the result of bioterrorism or natural causes

“You cannot say terrorism when it occurs in New York is bad terrorism and when it occurs elsewhere is good terrorism.” Indian External Affairs Minister Jaswant Singh, on new U.S. ally Pakistan, which India accuses of supporting the rebellion in Kashmir

“We would have come together if Bozo was the mayor.” The Rev. Al Sharpton, a Fernando Ferrer supporter in the upcoming New York mayoral election, on Rudy Giuliani

“I only want to be buried next to good Muslims. My face should be directed east toward Mecca.” Excerpt from the will of suspected terrorist ringleader Mohamed Atta, whose body was presumably destroyed when he flew American Airlines Flight 11 into the World Trade Center

“Fluffy is in deep doodoo.” D.C. security expert Jack McGeorge, on the lack of companies making gas masks for pets

“This was not a crime against the West. It was a crime against humanity.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, in Pakistan, after laying out specific evidence implicating Osama bin Laden’s networkin the attacks

“All it means is moving out the chair and replacing it with a gurney.” Georgia Department of Corrections spokesman Mike Light, on the ramifications of the state Supreme Court’s banning the electric chair

“Do you think the king will arrest Christian proselytizers like we do?” Mullah Mohammed Omar, on his merits as Afghanistan’s leader

“Tennis pinup girl Anna Kournikova, returning a shot Tuesday against Galina Fokina, has not had a photo on this page since Monday [Oct. 1].” Caption in the Oct. 3 Chicago Sun-Times, now completely back to normal

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Timothy Acuff”

“It is time to bury the hatchet and form one front against the attacks.” Taliban Education Minister Amir Khan Muttaqi, appealing to the opposition Northern Alliance to join them in a fight against American troops

“Not only is the cold war over, the post-cold-war period is also over.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, on America’s new relationship with Russia

“The good news is that there are many federal agencies working on all of these issues. The bad news is that there are many federal agencies working on all of these issues.’’ Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson, on U.S. government response to bioterrorism

“Anthrax? We don’t know about this. We don’t know what it is.” Taliban Ambassador to Pakistan Mullah Abdul Salam Zaeef, on links between Osama bin Laden and anthrax attacks in the United States

“All the other land mines in the relationship are still out there. But when you’re fighting a war, you don’t want to start pinging them on all the other issues.” A U.S. diplomat, on President George W. Bush’s lukewarm first meeting with Chinese President Jiang Zemin last week

“May God protect your life, as we Muslims say to anyone who loses somebody dear to him.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, sending e-mail condolences for the World Trade Center attacks to American Christopher Love, who had sent a message asking for a resolution of differences between Iraq and the United States

“They realize most people haven’t spent their lives in monasteries.” Former deputy assistant secretary of State for intelligence Mark Lowenthal, on the CIA’s new recruiting push, which includes a strict security check of candidates’ travels, social lives, drug use and sexual history

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Leonard George”

“There is no written Defense Department guidance governing acts of penmanship by our fighting forces.” Rear Adm. S. R. Pietropaoli, apologizing for an anti-gay slur directed at the hijackers that ended up on a bomb destined for Afghanistan

“Another chapter in ‘Profiles in Courage’.’’ Arizona Sen. John McCain, on the House recess after anthrax was found in Sen. Tom Daschle’s office

“Who will dress me and dance with me on my wedding day?” Tamina Dalizu, whose mother was killed in the 1998 embassy bombings for which four Al Qaeda members were sentenced to life in prison on Thursday

“We would have been looking for a new bus terminal.” Police Lt. Tom Fitzpatrick, on what would have happened if the explosives found in a locker at a Philadelphia bus station Friday had gone off

“The good news is that there are many federal agencies working on all of these issues. The bad news is that there are many federal agencies working on all of these issues.’’ Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson, on the government’s response to bioterrorism

“They realize most people haven’t spent their lives in monasteries.” Former deputy assistant secretary of State for intelligence Mark Lowenthal, on the CIA’s new recruiting push, which includes a strict security check of candidates’ travels, social lives, drug use and sexual histories

“The experiment is over.” Israeli Meir Meshulam, on what Tourism Minister Rehavam Zeevi’s death means for the Palestinian peace process

“Let them sue–they’ll just look worse than they already do.” Jack Kay, president of a Canadian company making generic ciprofloxacin, on Bayer, the German company that holds the patent for the drug

“You have to laugh, or you’ll cry.” New Yorker Patty Davidson, on the resurgence of black humor in the wake of the anthrax attacks

“We come off sounding like a bunch of nuts.” Berkeley, Calif., city council member Polly Armstrong, on why she voted against a resolution calling for an end to bombing in Afghanistan. The resolution passed, 5-4.

“Guacamole is not dangerous. It’s good for you.’’ Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley, asking for common sense in reporting bioterrorist threats after a mysterious green goo turned out to be mashed avocado

“If a man comes to your front door saying he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your boobs, do not show him your boobs! This is a scam, and he is only trying to see your boobs.” From a forwarded e-mail poking fun at the recent rash of hoax warnings

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Elaine Collins”

“We are not with you. At the same time, we are not with terrorists. America is not sincere in fighting terrorism. It has other objectives. America’s hands are stained with all the crimes committed by the Zionist regime.’’ Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, on Iran’s refusal to cooperate with a U.S.-led attack on Afghanistan

“He’s a rebellious individualist and a nonconformist with a hedonistic drive for stimulation.’’ Handwriting expert Caroline Murray, on Osama bin Laden’s signature on a fax

“This is not a time for remarks like that; there never is.” Bush aide Ari Fleischer, on comedian and political satirist Bill Maher’s observation that the United States is more cowardly than the terrorists

“Melt their weapons, melt their hearts, melt their anger with love.” Shirley MacLaine, outlining her preferred antiterrorism policy

“When Timothy McVeigh did that terrorism in Oklahoma, nobody who owned a place called Timothy’s changed the name. So why should I?’’ Ghassan Mustafa, on his restaurant Osama’s Place in North Carolina

“There’s not going to be a D-Day as such, and I’m sure there will not be a signing ceremony on the Missouri.” U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on the eventual end of the war

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Alex Fullerton”

“At times like this one, we must address some of the issues that led to such a criminal attack.” Statement accompanying a $10 million relief check for New York from Saudi Arabian Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, advising the United States to change its policies in the Middle East

“We are not going to accept the check. Period.” Sunny Mindel, Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s communications director, in response

“The concept of swarms and swarms of troops all over Afghanistan, that is not going to happen.” Clare Short, British secretary for International Development, on whether military strikes are a hint at a larger war to come

“Osama is not in Kabul–he is not living in mud houses of poor people.” Kabul resident Mohammed Wali, on U.S. attacks on the city

“We are signaling that we are going to see this through, that we are not going to love them and leave them.” Unnamed Bush administration official, on the United States’ agreement to provide security for Uzbekistan in exchange for use of its military bases

“I think the only responsible thing for us to do is to proceed on the basis it could be linked.” Vice President Dick Cheney, on whether the anthrax cases are connected to Osama bin Laden’s network

“It could be two ‘Allahuakbars’ by land, three ‘Allahuakbars’ by sea.’’ University of Michigan professor Peter Honeyman, on the possibility of hidden messages in Osama bin Laden’s taped speeches

“We are taking strong precautions, we are vigilant, we are determined, the country is alert and the great power of the American nation will be felt.” President George W. Bush, on threats of new terrorist attacks on America

“I think the pilot has enough to do.’’ Horizon Airlines pilot Geoff Rowe, on whether his colleagues should carry guns to stop hijackings

“Given the sort of business we are in, usually when you get a call that early in the morning, it’s something disastrous.’’ United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan, on how he heard that he and the organization had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize

“We’re outraged that our characters would be used in this unfortunate and distasteful manner. This is not at all humorous.” Statement by “Sesame Street” producers after Bert appeared in a downloaded photograph on a protest poster, peeking over Osama bin Laden’s shoulder

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Orlando Toro”

“We must be aware of the superiority of our civilization, a system that has guaranteed well-being, respect for human rights and–in contrast with Islamic countries–respect for religious and political rights, a system that has as its values understandings of diversity and tolerance.” Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, on his hopes that the West will “conquer” Islamic civilization. Other world leaders condemned the remarks.

“It doesn’t matter who initiated this, but that both of us are interested in talking.’’ Jesse Jackson, on his contact with the Taliban “The mayor is the mayor, and there can only be one mayor. There can’t be a mayor and a half.’’ New York mayoral candidate Fernando Ferrer, on Rudy Giuliani’s proposed three-month extension of his term

“There are reminders to all Americans that they need to watch what they say, watch what they do, and this is not a time for remarks like that; there never is.” Bush aide Ari Fleischer, on Bill Maher’s remarks that the U.S. is more cowardly than the terrorists

“Melt their weapons, melt their hearts, melt their anger with love.” Shirley MacLaine, outlining her antiterrorism policy on her Web site

“When Timothy McVeigh did that terrorism in Oklahoma, nobody who owned a place called Timothy’s changed the name. So why should I?’’ Ghassan Mustafa, on his restaurant, Osama’s Place

“There’s not going to be a D-Day as such, and I’m sure there will not be a signing ceremony on the Missouri.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on the eventual end of the war

“We are not with you. At the same time, we are not with terrorists. America is not sincere in fighting terrorism. It has other objectives. America’s hands are stained with all the crimes committed by the Zionist regime.’’ Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, on Iran’s refusal to cooperate with a U.S.-led attack on Afghanistan

“The truth of the matter is, all too many consumers on Sept. 11 said, ‘Mr. Retailer, gouge me’.” Minnesota Commerce Commissioner Jim Bernstein, defending gas-station owners who hiked prices as high as $5 a gallon on the day of the attacks

“That’s an idea that probably, two weeks ago, I would not even have considered. Now we are challenging every assumption.” FAA Administrator Jane F. Garvey, on a union proposal to allow pilots to carry guns in the cockpit

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Steve Horton”

“Don’t repeat the terrible mistakes of 1938, when the enlightened democracies in Europe decided to sacrifice Czechoslovakia for a comfortable, temporary solution.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, on U.S. appeals for Arab support. President Bush condemned the remarks.

“It was almost difficult to say whether he was an ambassador for Japan or for the United States.” Former Japanese prime minister Kiichi Miyazawa, eulogizing Mike Mansfield, the longest-serving majority leader in Senate history and U.S. ambassador to Japan under two presidents, remembered for his sensitivity to Japanese customs and smoothing relations between the two countries during heated trade disputes in the 1980s. Mansfield died last week at 98.

“You cannot say terrorism when it occurs in New York is bad terrorism and when it occurs elsewhere is good terrorism.” Indian External Affairs Minister Jaswant Singh, on new U.S. ally Pakistan, which India accuses of supporting the rebellion in Kashmir

“Do you think the king will arrest Christian proselytizers like we do?” Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar, in a radio address, on why his countrymen should not bring back the exiled monarch

“Anthrax happens.” North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services spokeswoman Debbie Crane, allaying fears that the first U.S. pulmonary- anthrax case since 1976 is the result of bioterrorism

“My advice to the U.S. government is let the Afghans do it.” Former Afghan mujahedin commander Abdul Haq, on proposed military retaliation against Afghanistan’s ruling Taliban

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Ira Glass”

“It is a mandate for reform and investment in the future, and it is also an instruction to deliver.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on his landslide victory over Conservative Party leader William Hague

“I figure if I kill the first one, the word will get out.” Former NBA star Charles Barkley, on handling his 12-year-old daughter’s future boyfriends

“It happens from time to time–you hit the house next door. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to prevent it.” Construction worker Jesus Ramos, whose father took a wrong turn in his bulldozer, accidentally knocking down part of a Miami-Dade historic-preservation office

“If you’re a guy, you gotta come [to the ‘TRL’ concert]–you got, like, five girl acts and me. Destiny’s Child is hot. Eve is hot. Dream: hot. 3LW, they’re little, but they’re hot.” Hip-hop’s Nelly, on joining MTV’s “Total Request Live” Tour

“The common European perception [of President Bush] is of a shallow, arrogant, gun-loving, abortion-hating, Christian- fundamentalist Texan buffoon… We need to get it all on a higher plane.” A senior administration official, on Bush’s upcoming trip abroad–where he will attempt to win over European diplomats who view the administration as isolationist

“When I got up to put my clothes on, I almost didn’t wear the bra. But a higher power told me to put it on.” Michigan resident Dana Colwell, who was hit in the chest with a nail but was saved from serious injury by her liquid-padded bra

“The hydrocarbon contamination is like gasoline or a chemical carried in pesticides. It is best not to share this with the consumer.” An internal document from Frito-Lay, apparently instructing an employee not to tell a customer that the chips she returned because of a “turpentine” smell were tainted and potentially hazardous

“I’m ready to do what I do almost any time. I’m like lunchmeat–I’m always ready.” Jackie Bibby, the self-declared Texas Snakeman, who crawled into a sleeping bag with 109 rattlesnakes, beating his old record by two

“Unfortunately, it takes a tragedy like this one for Japan to wake up and do something. Someone who was mentally ill should not have been let out on the streets.” Yuji Kishimoto, a worried parent in Ikeda, Japan, where a man wielding a kitchen knife stormed an elementary school, killing eight and wounding at least 15

“If this is what you’ve got to wear in Pasco County, it will make you think twice about doing a crime here.” Bob Bowers, an inmate in a Florida jail, complaining about the baggy, black-and-white striped uniforms inmates are forced to wear when out on work detail

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “David Cottrell”

“We don’t speak of justice, we speak of a measure of justice.” Gideon Taylor, executive vice president of the Jewish Claims Conference, taking a guarded view of the German Parliament’s decision to allow $4.5 billion in reparations to surviving Nazi slave laborers

“We are doing it so that the prisoners don’t feel depressed at being behind bars.” Winston Spadafora, Interior minister of Panama, explaining the reasoning behind a salsa-music concert held at Panama City’s overcrowded Feminine Detention Center

“It’s no big deal. I just wanted to protest against all the sleaze going on in Brazil’s politics.” One of several Brazilian protesters who communicated their dissatisfaction with the government by baring their backsides at the National Congress

“It was more of a flea market than a Sotheby’s sale.” Swiss newspaper Tribune de Geneve describing an auction of goods belonging to former Congolese dictator Mobutu Sese Seko at his estate near Lausanne. Among the items were a plastic helmet given by the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and a golden guest book from former U.S. president Richard Nixon.

“It is not actual urine, it is the scent of urine. I haven’t actually smelt it myself, but I am told it is lovely for a dog.” Emma Read, Animal Planet’s commissioning editor, commenting on the use of posters scented with canine urine to advertise its pet awards. The TV channel hopes that sharp-nosed canines will lead their owners to the appropriate lampposts in the United Kingdom, where posters will be displayed at both human and dog’s-eye level.

“I use the body as a shape. It’s using the body as an art object, not a sex object.” Spencer Tunick, an American artist who recently completed a photo shoot of 2,000 nude people in downtown Montreal. Other locations for his nude crowd photos have included New York City, London and Jerusalem.

“McDonald’s please pay attention to public morality. McDonald’s don’t make mischief anymore.” Headline in the Chinese Southern Daily newspaper after a promotional giveaway of Snoopy dolls led to scuffles, hoarding, black-marketeering and the smashing-up of one restaurant’s window when supplies dwindled

“I don’t really follow football but when I saw Beckham on telly I decided to have the same haircut.” Zella Sparks, an 85-year-old grandmother from Dorset, England, who decided to shave her hair into a Mohican style as a fund-raising stunt following English soccer captain David Beckham’s newly unveiled do

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Ralph North”

“The tents turn into ovens and bake the occupants,” Yousuf Hassan, a spokesman for the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, on the deplorable summer conditions at Jalozai, an Afghan refugee camp in Pakistan

“I am gay, and that’s a good thing.” Klaus Wowereit, the first gay mayor of Berlin, trying to dispel the controversy surrounding his sexual orientation

“It is still too early to say how my wife will influence my life.” English movie director Guy Ritchie, assessing his relationship with his spouse, Madonna

“I’ll make it real simple. I’m a 36C. In the game, she’s a double-D. In the movie, she’s a D. We split the difference.” Actress Angelina Jolie, on physical variations in the Lara Croft character she plays in “Tomb Raider”

“A lot of these sightings are made by inebriated people.” Daithi OhOgain, professor of Irish folklore at University College Dublin, on recent efforts to prove the existence of a giant eel creature with a horselike head in the Irish midlands

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Ryan Lacroix”

“I don’t care what position you take in this debate on AIDS. I don’t care what position you take on anti-retroviral drugs, just show this country, show these children some compassion.” South African Bishop Mvume Dandala, faulting President Thabo Mbeki for not showing up at the funeral of 12-year-old AIDS activist Nkosi Johnson. Mbeki has taken severe criticism for questioning the causal link between HIV and AIDS.

“Everyone must respect the newly elected president.” Iranian supreme leader Ali Khamenei, whose constitutional powers surpass those of President Mohammed Khatami, who won last week’s elections by a landslide

“You not only entered a conspiracy, but played the race card, falsely introducing a bogus racist motive into the attack.” British Judge Robert Orme, after sentencing Chris Cotter, the white ex-boyfriend of black Olympic athlete Ashia Hansen, to two years of jail time for planning and executing a racial attack on himself to win back her affection

“He’s a murderer and a pathological liar.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, taking a swipe at Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat four days after a bomb killed 20 people at a Tel Aviv nightclub

“I have not become lazy. On the contrary, I am looking for work.” Lothar Vosseler, half brother of German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder and a recently laid-off sewage worker, reacting to disparaging remarks about welfare recipients made by his brother earlier in the year

“We were very surprised yesterday to find out the identity of the donor.” David Cohen, an Israeli citizen whose son was saved by a heart taken from Mazen Joulani–a Palestinian. According to Joulani’s family, he was killed by Jewish settlers. They agreed to donate his heart.

“I don’t want to share my underwear.” Gary Steverson, a stilt walker at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, where workers recently won the right to individual underwear they can take home and wash each night. Before, the skivvies were circulated among employees–who claimed they were not always well washed.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Karen Franqui”

“We contemplated [naming him] king of the Senate, but we don’t have that position yet.” Assistant Majority Leader Don Nickles, on the steps the Republican Party took to keep Jeffords in the fold, including offering him a seat at weekly leadership meetings

“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say to you: you, too, can be president of the United States.” President George W. Bush, receiving an honorary degree from Yale, his alma mater

“It’s more than a decade since I was in the front line of politics. That’s why I’m back… And you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign the mummy returns.” Former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, helping campaign for Tory underdog William Hague

People started telling me I looked like Marilyn when I was 19, and that was before the boob job!” Jackie Mather, a contestant in a Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest marking what would have been the star’s 75th birthday

“I can’t think of anything that compares to it since the first few weeks after the children were born. I’m not even sure if it might not be harder.” Dan Pisner, of Montgomery County, Md., facing the $300,000 price tag of sending his 18-year-old quintuplets to college

“I think if you add both their ages together, I’m still older.” Deborah Norville, the “Inside Edition” anchor, on whether Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera should be threatened by her decision to release a music video

“She started with maybe 10 cats… and it got out of hand.” Nancee Tavares, animal-services manager for Petaluma, Calif., on discovering a house with more than 170 feral cats and kittens inside

“If you set aside Three Mile Island and Chernobyl, the safety record of nuclear is really very good.” Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill, defending the Bush energy plan and its proposed expansion of nuclear power

“This is too much for us–we’re simple people. Why this place? Why around here?” Steve Restivo, co-owner of Vitello’s Italian Restaurant in Los Angeles, where business has been booming since Robert Blake’s wife was murdered just outside

“Keep your laws off our chests.” Signs carried by 50 topless protesters outside the Massachusetts State House. Members of the Booby Liberation Organization insist it’s unfair that state decency laws allow men to go shirtless, but not women.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Gordon Perry”

“The FBI proved his case for him–that the system is hopelessly corrupt.” Bob Papovich, a Michigan friend of convicted Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh, who announced last week that he will seek a stay of execution

“Based on overwhelming evidence and McVeigh’s own repeated admissions, we know that he is responsible for this crime, and we will continue to pursue justice.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, announcing his staunch opposition to any further delays

“The Bible is very sensual, and we are going to exploit that. We want to take the Bible off the dusty back shelf and put it on coffee tables.” Gustaf-Wilhelm Hellstedt, a Swedish entrepreneur creating a sexed-up version of the Bible featuring, for example, Claudia Schiffer as Eve

“This is a big win for me, but it’s not the end of the line. The end of the story has not yet been written.” Golfer Casey Martin, who has a circulatory disorder in his right leg, pleased that the Supreme Court ruled he can use a golf cart when competing, but noting that the disability could worsen and take him out of the game at any time

“I saw a hand of a person, a brain. I don’t know how to explain it to you, it hurts the heart.” Ilan Amos, who was standing outside the Israeli discotheque attacked by a Palestinian suicide bomber. At least 18 people died and about 90 were wounded.

“We don’t speak of justice, we speak of a measure of justice.” Gideon Taylor, executive vice president of the Jewish Claims Conference, taking a guarded view of the German Parliament’s decision to allow $4.5 billion in reparations to slave laborers held by the Nazis

“Receiving this honor is without question one of the greatest moments of my life, second only to that magical evening, backstage in Shelley Winters’ dressing room, where I first became a man.” Comedian Martin Short, after receiving an honorary Doctor of Letters degree from Canada’s McMaster University

“Men have no idea the things women do to camouflage themselves, and once they get to [have sex], they don’t care… They are not going to say, ‘Hey! Your nipples were really big in the bar!’ " Lori Barghini, inventor of the hot-selling “silicone nipple enhancers”

“The love story was hooey. There was no love over there unless you paid $3 for it.” Thomas Reilly, a soldier stationed at Pearl Harbor during the attack, on the film’s fictional love triangle

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Katherina Bell”

“It’s more than a decade since I was in the front line of politics. That’s why I’m back… And you knew I was coming. On my way here I passed a cinema with the sign THE MUMMY RETURNS.” Former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, helping campaign for Tory underdog William Hague

“It looks like if you were to look at the skeleton of a rhino or a horse or a cow… It’s lovely.” Ralph Chapman, a paleontologist at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of Natural History, commenting on the newly posed triceratops at the museum after a computer simulation showed that the previous bone positioning was wrong

“This does not mean that school trips should be stopped.” Tony Kerridge, spokesman for health charity Marie Stopes International, reacting to its study’s finding that one in three of the British teenagers surveyed said they had some sort of sexual experience while on a school field trip

“And so Jesus made a Jim Skinner for 5,000 geezers with just five loaves of Uncle Fred and two Lillian Gish.” Associated Press’s Sue Leeman, recounting the miracle of the loaves and fishes as it might appear in a new version of the Bible–written in Cockney rhyming slang

“I confess I’m no expert in that. I just learned how to forward Monica Lewinsky jokes to someone else.” Former president George Bush, commenting on his technological know-how at a tech convention in Las Vegas

“I’m just honored to be in his presence. He still lives. His work. Liberating China. Establishing a new China. I’m just honored.” Boxing promoter Don King, on visiting the mausoleum of Mao Zedong while in Beijing to scout out a location for the first heavyweight title fight in the country, between Evander Holyfield and John Ruiz

“We have a place where we can play dominoes and relax a little.” Efren Leyva, leader of a faction of Mexico’s PRI opposition party, describing a new game room within the country’s Congress that includes a billiard table, minibar, TV and a cards lounge

“We can confirm the object thrown was a haggis, which has been taken away for examination.” A Manchester police spokeswoman, describing the object thrown through the front window of a Scottish woman’s house in northern England in an incident of harassment that the police are classifying as a “racially motivated hate crime.” Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish of sheep heart, liver and lungs wrapped in the animal’s stomach.

“I am a firm believer that hair coloring has an effect on temper, and your coloring suggests you have a temper.” Irish Judge Mary Fahy, explaining her reasoning in fining a redheaded man accused of public-order offenses

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Bobby Woodruff”

“I wrote a paper a long time ago and gave it to a friend. The next thing I know, I’m advising members of Congress.” Jeff (Skunk) Baxter, the former guitarist for Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, who is also an expert on missile defense

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be a candidate.” Former vice president Al Gore, telling students in his Columbia journalism class he’s not sure he’ll make another run for the White House

“The U.S. attorney better defeat me, because if they don’t, they will be working in Yeehaw Junction.” Ohio Rep. James Traficant, vowing to fight a 10-count indictment alleging he accepted illegal gifts and services and misused his congressional staff

“We’re talking about freedom of expression here. How would you feel if you had to get permission from Rosa Parks to do this story?” Atlanta attorney Joseph Beck, on Rosa Parks’s lawsuit against the rappers of OutKast. She wants the courts to stop the group from naming a profanity-riddled song after her.

“I can’t believe I did something so stupid.” Harry Rabin, a 77-year-old war hero and retired security guard, who robbed three banks to impress his girlfriend. The Illinois resident was sentenced to three years in jail.

“Everybody wants to protect the environment to a certain level…But until they can show me something else, we’re at the top of the food chain.” Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, on the need to reduce American dependence on foreign oil, even if that means drilllingin protected area

“It was just nice to see an Italian guy. That’s all it was.” Sam Roti, nephew of Chicago figure Frank Roti, on his conversation with embattled New Jersey Sen. Robert Torricelli

“I just like french fries.” Mary Clark, a 106-year-old Denver resident who claims her daily dose of fries keeps her healthy

“If they want him, he’ll be there to perform his civic duty. However, I don’t think he has a good enough handle on the criminal-justice system to make any informed decisions.” Boston’s Stephanie McLaughlin, on her 17-year-old pet turtle Max’s being summoned for jury duty. Max could not be reached for comment.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Inocencia Simmerman”

“I wrote a paper a long time ago and gave it to a friend. The next thing I know, I’m advising members of Congress.” Jeff (Skunk) Baxter, former guitarist for Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, who is also an expert on missile defense

“Everybody wants to protect the environment to a certain level… But until they can show me something else, we’re at the top of the food chain.” Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, on the need to reduce American dependence on foreign oil, even if that means drilling in protected areas

“There was no way we could have held it without sheep, so this seemed like the next best thing.” Susan Cunliffe-Lister, organizer of the Masham Sheep Fair in Britain, on the decision to use dummy sheep at this year’s festivities because of the foot-and-mouth crisis

“I am stuck in the whatever century.” Kelly Rowland of the pop group Destiny’s Child, on why she would never ask a “dude” to go on a date

“Today is Thursday, a working day, but I have asked my wife that after lunch I get the permission to play golf.” Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen, making it clear who lays down the law at home

“Whether alone, with friends, or on the street car. It’s your decision!” An Internet message from the youth wing of Germany’s Protestant church, taking advantage of technology by broadcasting highlights of a religious service to mobile-phone users and inviting them to join in

“Cream-pie throwing has become an epidemic.” Norwegian Foreign Minister Thorbjoern Jagland after receiving a pie in the face from protesters at a May Day rally in Oslo

“It became a little hectic for Siv yesterday when she was supposed to talk about the weather and strip at the same time.” Maiken Mangen, editor of a Norwegian pornographic magazine, on his model Siv Johannessen’s trials in becoming the country’s first nude radio weather-presenter last week, an effort to create a sizzling atmosphere in the studio. It seems Mangen’s models are not used to doing two things at the same time.

“I grew up in a meat-and-potatoes district, so I’d like to have a carnivorous state dinosaur.” Pennsylvania Rep. Jim Wansacz, on his bid to have a dinosaur as his state’s official symbol

“I can’t believe I did something so stupid.” Harry Rabin, a 77-year-old veteran and retired security guard, who robbed three banks to impress his girlfriend. The Illinois resident was sentenced to three years in jail.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Ilene Johnson”

“I am not a potential commander in chief.” Former senator Bob Kerrey, in the midst of controversy about his role in shooting civilians during the Vietnam War, announcing that he will not run for president in 2004

“We respect the privacy of this young woman, and we’re not going to comment on her personal life.” Noelia Rodriguez, spokeswoman for First Lady Laura Bush, refusing to answer questions about First Daughter Jenna Bush–a freshman at the University of Texas–cited for alcohol possession by a minor

“I want to say congratulations to Coach K. The reason I call him Coach K is because sometimes I have trouble pronouncing long words.” President Bush, honoring the national champion Duke Blue Devils and their coach, Mike Krzyzewski

“If the Berlin Wall fell, so can the U.S. Navy.” Nelson Lopez, a Roman Catholic priest, on protesters attempting to stop a Navy bombing exercise on the Puerto Rican island of Vieques

“It looks like Marlon Brando.” Mikhail Gorbachev, presented with a portrait of himself

“Hitler would wind up as the craziest criminal the world has ever seen.” A 1937 prediction by German surgeon Ferdinand Sauerbruch

“It’s the summer season coming up, so my patients must have tuneups. But instead of doing liposuction on seven areas, they’re doing three or four. These decisions are so painful.” New York plastic surgeon Pamela Lipkin, on the tragic downside of an economic downturn

“You close on a house. You don’t close on a death.” Peggy Broxterman, who lost a son in the Oklahoma City bombing, scoffing at the idea that Timothy McVeigh’s execution could bring “closure”

“There is definitely a black person inside [of me] waiting to get out. I’m sure I was once black.” Denise Rich, in an article in the June Vanity Fair, part of a PR blitz now that she has total immunity in the Clinton pardon scandal

“We got a little closer than we wanted to.” Tim Nelson, a Penn State sophomore, on the group of 27 students who crammed into aVolkswagen Beetle–setting an unofficial new world record

“I’m wondering if there’s a family of four living in my nose, it sometimes seems so big!” Sylvester Stallone, on his impressive schnoz

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Louis Smith”

“I want to say congratulations to Coach K. The reason I call him Coach K is because sometimes I have trouble pronouncing long words.” Bush, honoring the U.S. national college-basketball champion Duke Blue Devils and their coach, Mike Krzyzewski

“If the Berlin wall fell, so can the U.S. Navy.” Nelson Lopez, a Roman Catholic priest, on protesters attempting to stop a U.S. Navy bombing exercise on the Puerto Rican island of Vieques

“It looks like Marlon Brando.” Mikhail Gorbachev, presented with a portrait of himself

“If he shows his face down here again, we’ll throw him into the lake.” Swedish scientist Jan Sundberg, on Kevin Carlyon of the British Coven of White Witches. Carlyon has been threatening to cast spells on Sundberg and his team as they search Loch Ness for its ever-elusive monster

“Hitler would wind up as the craziest criminal the world has ever seen.” A 1937 prediction by a German surgeon, Ferdinand Sauerbruch

“All Vietnamese are Uncle Ho’s children.” Vietnam’s new leader Nong Duc Manh, failing to clarify speculation that he is the illegitimate son of Ho Chi Minh

“It’s the summer season coming up, so my patients must have tuneups. But instead of doing liposuction on seven areas, they’re doing three or four. These decisions are so painful.” New York plastic surgeon Pamela Lipkin, on the tragic downside of an economic downturn

“You close on a house. You don’t close on a death.” Peggy Bosterman, whose son was killed in the Oklahoma City bombing, scoffing at the idea that anything, even Timothy McVeigh’s execution, could ever bring “closure”

“There is definitely a black person inside [of me] waiting to get out. I’m sure I was once black.” Denise Rich, in an article in the June Vanity Fair, part of a PR blitz now that she has total immunity in the Clinton pardon scandal

“The clever people aren’t calling yet.” Byron Lim, assistant programming manager at MediaCorp TV, on the lack of successful contestants on Singapore’s version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” Singaporeans have been wincing with embarrassment as easy questions have been stumping contestants since the show debuted two weeks ago

“We got a little closer than we wanted to.” Tim Nelson, a student at Penn State University, on the group of 27 students who crammed themselves into a Volkswagen Beetle–setting an unofficial new world record

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Thomas Palmer”

“I had wanted for years to get Mrs. Thatcher in front of my camera. As she got more powerful she got sort of sexier.” Photographer Helmut Newton, on his eye for the former British prime minister

“I hummed a song that isn’t appropriate in this chamber. I would like to apologize to everyone I might have hurt.” Serge Cardin, a Canadian M.P., caught humming the theme song from “The Godfather” while Public Works Minister Alfonso Gagliano, who is of Italian descent, addressed the body

“The administration has told us to take a flying leap in a rolling doughnut.” California Energy Adviser , Davie Freeman on the White House’s hands-off approach to the state’s ongoing energy crisis

“All these books are written in the same way, whether they are homo, bisexual or straight.” French author Jean-Jacques Pauvert, declaring in his latest anthology, “From Infinity to Zero,” that too much sex–in advertising, in the media and on the Internet–is killing contemporary French erotic writing

“Your Honor, let’s be honest here. A woman should not be disposed to this matter. This should be between the male persons of the world.” Eugene Holmes, of Cherryville, North Carolina, asking the judge to replace the female public defender representing him against charges of selling counterfeit flea-market merchandise. The judge reluctantly agreed to the change.

“The rule that all are equal is only valid when it doesn’t interfere with the higher law, which is God.” Amarildo Martins, a deputy of the Evangelical Church in Brazil, denouncing last week’s lobbying by gay activists for same-sex unions to be recognized

“They wanted to see their children, have a few drinks.” A spokesman at Colombia’s National Penitentiary Institute, on the dozen inmates who returned to the mountain prison of Caloto just three days after escaping. They had taken advantage of an amnesty law that forgives fugitives if they return on their own volition within 72 hours.

“The president believes that [high energy consumption] is an American way of life, and that it should be the goal of policymakers to protect the American way of life. The American way of life is a blessed one.” Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer, saying that the country should address the energy crisis through supply, not demand

“If somebody messes with you, go to court. That’s the American way.” Bernard Adusei, who immigrated to the United States from Ghana 21 years ago, criticizing the lawsuit brought by a group of Ghanaian cabdrivers in Atlanta over a disputed lottery win

“I pulled the trigger, but I didn’t try to. That was an accident. Mr. Grunow was one of my friends.” Nathaniel Brazill, the 14-year-old American boy accused of killing his English teacher, Barry Grunow. If convicted of first-degree murder, Brazill faces life in prison.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Shannon Killay”

“Our first priority is to stop it.” An Ohio Emergency Management Agency agent (and master of the obvious) on a runaway train last week

“I tell people that they won’t see the train leave so it won’t be so sad.” Jean-Luc Obadia, manager of Part-Dieu train station in Lyon, on the French rail authority’s decision to reserve platforms for passengers, rendering lingering kisses and tearful farewells things of the past

“I have a lot of manure. What I need is money.” Russian surgeon Yuri Zotov, complaining about being paid in manure instead of money by patients in his local farming community of Vacha

“They think that if you just melt the wax figure of a Palestinian then everything would be OK.” Hussein Ibish, spokesman for the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, on the campaign by New York state legislators to remove Yasir Arafat’s wax likeness from New York’s Madame Tussaud’s museum

“You can get a condom over your head if you want to.” South African Dr. Liz Floyd, on complaints from the nation’s prostitutes that imported condoms are too small, producing a tendency to burst and contribute to the risk of HIV infection

“You know what’s really gotten very impressive [about the Miss Universe Pageant]? The talent competition. For example, Miss Colombia, she swallowed 50 balloons full of heroin.” A David Letterman joke that sparked outrage among Colombians. He later apologized and vowed–half jokingly, of course–to stop making Colombian drug jokes.

“She started doing my shirts in 1943. And I married her in 1945. This is 2001. And she’s still doing my shirts.” Tillmon Lindsey, a Chicago cabdriver who’s known around town for his unusually formal uniform–clean shirt, dress pants, cap and a tie

“I would like to congratulate the officers who responded calmly to this incident and managed not to get in a flap.” Police Superintendent Martin Harding, of Manchester, England, on his officers’ reaction when they found out they had rushed to respond to an emergency telephone call from a parrot

“Nothing is more important as passion. No matter what you do in life, be passionate.” Rocker Jon Bon Jovi,in his commencement address to an American university

“As long as people abide by the rules of conduct, the library is not going to prohibit [chess]. But this is a library, so boisterous language is not appropriate.” Kristi Gibson, spokeswoman for the downtown Minneapolis Public Library, on the decision to ban chess games after fans became unruly

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Brandi Norris”

“It’s been real. Thanks, buddy.” Louisiana Sen. John Breaux, concluding his cell-phone conversation with President George W. Bush, who called to thank the senator for his help in passing the budget resolution

“The administration has sort of told us to take a flying leap in a rolling doughnut.” California energy adviser David Freeman, on the White House’s hands-off approach to the state’s energy crisis

“Your Honor, let’s be honest here. A woman should not be disposed to this matter. This should be between the male persons of the world.” Eugene Holmes, of Cherryville, N.C., asking the judge to replace the female public defender representing him against charges of selling counterfeit flea-market merchandise. The judge reluctantly agreed to the change.

“The president believes that [high-energy consumption] is an American way of life, and that it should be the goal of policymakers to protect the American way of life. The American way of life is a blessed one.” Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer, saying that the country should address the energy crisis through supply, not demand

“I pulled the trigger, but I didn’t try to. That was an accident. Mr. Grunow was one of my friends.” Nathaniel Brazill, the 14-year-old boy accused of shooting his English teacher, Barry Grunow. If convicted of first-degree murder, he faces life in prison.

“I sort of like raccoons, but I don’t want them in the university’s gallery, dead or alive.” Jim Veninga, a dean at the University of Wisconsin- Marathon County, on asking a student to remove an art exhibit containing a decomposing, disemboweled raccoon

“A superpower pays its bills. A superpower doesn’t cry when it fails to get its way, and then go and take all its marbles.” Georgia Rep. Cynthia McKinney, on the House’s voting to freeze payment of $224 million in back U.N. dues until the United States is restored to its seat on the Human Rights Commission

“I often get asked the question: is there anything I would have done differently? I say, ‘Yeah, there is. If I had to do it over again, I would kiss Tipper much longer’.” Former presidential candidate Al Gore

“I’ll probably be a [professional] bike rider, ‘cause I’m good at it. But for now I’m going to stick to handwriting.” Nine-year-old Margo Macero, winner of Vermont’s statewide penmanship contest

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Addie Stavis”

“Remarkably, the things I came to Washington to do are done.” Texas Sen. Phil Gramm, on his decision not to seek another term

“It’s understandable. They all dress alike.’’ Yankees general manager Brian Cashman, on catcher Jorge Posada’s vendetta against umpire Andy Fletcher, who, Posada said, called him out incorrectly last month. Fletcher was not the ump who made the call.

“Satan had a big-time role in this.’’ The Rev. Adrian Condit, father of California Rep. Gary Condit, on his son’s infidelity

“Computers double their performance every 18 months. So the danger is real that they could develop intelligence and take over the world.’’ Eminent physicist Stephen Hawking, advocating genetic engineering as a way to stay ahead of artificial intelligence

“It’s either one of the best things I’ve ever done or one of the dumbest.” Janet Reno, on running for governor of Florida

“The great achievement will be to get an agreement at all.” Mary Robinson, secretary-general of the U.N. World Racism Conference, on drafting the meeting’s final resolution

“I am told God lives in me–and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.” A decades-old letter from Mother Teresa, recently released by the Vatican, which is beginning sainthood proceedings for the renowned missionary

“Last week she wasn’t even in the top 25.” Tower Records store manager Tim Devin, on the late R&B star Aaliyah’s new album, now at No. 1 “While they were trying to throw the nominee a life preserver, they’ve thrown him an anchor instead.’’ Ohio Citizen Action rep Sandy Buchanan, on a report blasting top EPA enforcement nominee Donald Schregardus. It was commissioned to drum up support for him.

“Up until that point, that was the best sex I’d ever had.” Anne Heche, recalling her first night with ex-lover Ellen DeGeneres

“I’m not sure how you say ’never’ when, obviously, life is full of those twists and turns.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, on another possible bid for the presidency

“I could have put a dead raccoon on the air this year and got a better rating than last year.” Fox News chair Roger Ailes, on the claim that Paula Zahn’s ratings improved this year. Zahn left Fox for CNN last week.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Randy Nyquist”

“The great achievement will be to get an agreement at all.” Mary Robinson, U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights and secretary-general of the beleaguered World Conference Against Racism, on drafting the meeting’s final resolution

“That is music in the ears of my white countrymen,” Zimbabwe’s Foreign Minister Stan Mudenge, on a plan negotiated last week in which Britain agreed to bear a portion of the cost for compensating white Zimbabwean farmers for seized land

“Computers double their performance every 18 months. So the danger is real that they could develop intelligence and take over the world.” Eminent physicist Stephen Hawking, advocating genetic engineering as a way to stay ahead of artificial intelligence

“Up until that point, that was the best sex I’d ever had.” Actress Anne Heche, who recently married a man, recalling her first night with ex-lover Ellen DeGeneres

“Satan had a big-time role in this.” The Rev. Adrian Condit, father of California Rep. Gary Condit, on his son’s recent troubles

“Maybe Mother Teresa was under harassment from Satan.” Archbishop of Calcutta Henry Sebastian D’Souza, explaining why he performed an exorcism on the famous nun when she suffered sleeplessness and heart problems a few months before her death

“Last week she wasn’t even in the top 25.” New York Tower Records store manager Tim Devin, on late R&B star Aaliyah’s new album, which hit No. 1 in the United States after her death in a plane crash

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Michael Kang”

“If God had wanted you to wear earrings, he’d have made you a girl.” Alabama Gov. Don Siegelman, responding to a couple’s challenge to a school-board policy banning earrings on male students

“Who came to this country first–the white man, didn’t he? That’s who made this country great.’’ North Carolina State Rep. Don Davis, before forwarding to members of the state legislature an e-mail that credited white men and Christianity with America’s accomplishments. Davis later apologized for forwarding the e-mail.

“Just because she is naked doesn’t mean she is right.’’ Catherine Ort-Mabry, spokeswoman for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus, on a PETA activist who locked herself in a cage wearing only a bikini bottom, a small sign and painted-on tiger stripes to protest the circus’s treatment of animals

“Being part of the Senate is not just another job, but I had to choose between that and my family.’’ North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, announcing that he will retire at the end of his term

“I think we’re going to get our lives back.” Joel Rodriguez, on settling for $7.5 million with Firestone after an accident involving the company’s tires left his wife paralyzed and in a wheelchair

“In the past I may have believed things, but now I’m not sure about what I’m told.” Chinese gynecologist Gao Yaojie, on the deputy health minister’s belated acknowledgment last week that China has not effectively stemmed an epidemic of AIDS

“I didn’t say I wanted the job, I said I took it.’’ Christie Todd Whitman, on being head of the Environmental Protection Agency

“I have figuratively and literally enormous shoes to fill.” New chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Richard Myers, on his predecessor Gen. Henry Shelton, who is 6 feet 5 inches tall

“If I had had the slightest doubt, I certainly would not have imposed the death penalty.” Trial Judge James Doolittle, who sentenced Charles Fain to death 18 years ago for the rape and murderof a 9-year-old girl. Fain was freed by DNA evidence last week.

“I would like to thank the honorable police and judges and all those who worked to arrest dog lovers.’’ Cleric Gholamreza Hassani, on Iran’s crackdown on dogs, considered unclean under Islamic law

“I’ve started eating at Burger King.” High-school student Brooks Reid, disappointed to find that McDonald’s promotional games were rigged

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Jacqueline Banks”

“He continued to inspire all of us inside and outside prison.” Former South African president Nelson Mandela, on the death of Govan Mbeki, antiapartheid activist and father of current South African President Thabo Mbeki

“These people are subsistence farmers in a world that is not a subsistence world.” Francisco Roque Castro, Latin America director for the United Nations World Food Program, on a drought that has wiped out crops across Central America

“I’m discriminated against all the time.” Former Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic, now facing genocide charges, on the monitoring of his jailhouse conversations with family and lawyers

“I am not a banana.” Christine Hamilton, suspect in a sexual-assault case in London, reasserting a previous claim that if police charges were brought against her, she would be a banana. Police dropped the investigation last week.

“Nobody with a brain the size of a kumquat stays in Texas in August.” Texan author Ruth Pennebaker, questioning President George W. Bush’s reasoning for vacationing in the Lone Star state last month

“We’re all entitled to grow up. George [W.] Bush had his problems with alcohol. I was a Republican. We both got over it.” North Carolina Superior Court Judge Ray Warren, conservative Republican turned openly gay Democrat, now considering a bid for Jesse Helms’s Senate seat

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Phillip Moore”

“I say to our enemies, ‘We are coming. God may show you mercy. We will not’.” Arizona Sen. John McCain

“Osama bin Laden thanked almighty Allah and bowed before him when he heard this news.” Palestinian journalist Jamal Ismail, quoting a close aide of bin Laden’s who called him from a hideout in Afghanistan after the attacks. Ismail said the aide told him bin Laden denied involvement.

“I don’t know what the gates of hell look like, but it’s got to be like this.” John Maloney, a security director for an Internet firm in the World Trade Center, on the devastation in downtown Manhattan

“He was my angel.” Norma Hessic, who worked her way down from an 82d-floor WTC office after the first plane hit. She was cowering in the corner of a nearby hotel when a man said, “Lady, take my hand,” and led her to a local hospital.

“What do you mean they’re gone?” Julie Anderson, after escaping her WTC office and learning the Twin Towers had collapsed

“We’re going to rebuild and rebuild stronger.” New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, vowing the city would soon recover

“I never thought I’d see the World Trade Center pass by me in a dump truck.” Craig Chester, a volunteer rescue worker

“I don’t want to be at work because I don’t feel completely safe… I feel nothing is the same anymore. I don’t feel free.” Maritza Ruiz, a receptionist at a commercial real-estate firm in midtown Manhattan

“Dear America, You supported us in two world wars. We stand with you now.” Londoner Rob Anderson, on a card attached to a spray of roses left outside the U.S. Embassy

“The pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians… the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen’.” Televangelist Jerry Falwell

“I’m Arab, but if the Arabs did it, then I’m ashamed. But if some Arabs did it, you can’t say all Arabs are bad.” Dearborn, Mich., receptionist Hanah Nehmeh

WE ARE ALL AMERICANS. The French newspaper Le Monde

“A tragedy like this could have torn our country apart. But instead it has united us, and we have become a family.” The Rev. Billy Graham, at a memorial service for the victims

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Jennifer Gregory”

“We’re all entitled to grow up. George [W.] Bush had his problems with alcohol. I was a Republican. We both got over it.” North Carolina Superior Court Judge Ray Warren, conservative Republican turned Democrat, who is considering a bid for Jesse Helms’s Senate seat

“I’m discriminated against all the time.” Slobodan Milosevic, now facing genocide charges, complaining about the monitoring of his jailhouse conversations with family and friends

“We planned a concert, not a political issue.” John Stoll, on the cancellation of several concerts by Cuban artists, which Miami protesters had threatened to interrupt

“He seems to be pretty credible.” Prosecutor Wayne Forrest, on a mental patient whom police drove from New Jersey to Washington, D.C., after he said he could show them the grave site of Chandra Levy, whose murder he claimed to have witnessed

“These people are subsistence farmers in a world that is not a subsistence world.” Francisco Roque Castro, Latin America director for the United Nations World Food Program, on coping with a drought that has wiped out crops across Central America

“I have a lot of commitment, but I hope I don’t look too stupid.” Chris Reid, who flew from Australia to Finland to compete in last week’s sixth annual Air Guitar World Championships

“Every election will be a painful reminder, as I will be only an observer in the process.” Yvette Lozano, former aide to George W. Bush campaign media adviser Mark McKinnon, on being sentenced Friday to a year in prison and a $3,000 fine for stealing and mailing a Bush debate-practice videotape to Al Gore’s campaign before the two candidates squared off

“I’m doing better. I didn’t break any racquets today.” Quick-tempered tennis star Marat Safin, on stress management at the U.S. Open

“It’s frustrating, but it’s frustrating the way it is when you go to a show and you see a young woman take off her gloves one by one.” French advertising exec Maurice Levy, on the launch of the euro single currency, which until now has been off-limits for viewing to all but those with top security clearance

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Angela Lininger”

“We have not effectively controlled the epidemic.” China’s Deputy Minister of Health Yin Dakui, making the first official governmental statement on HIV-AIDS in the country, where reported infections rose 67.4 percent in the first half of this year as compared to last

“I stand by what I said that pigs can be as intelligent as children. There is nothing scientifically controversial about that.” Zaida Catalan, spokeswoman for the Swedish Green Party’s youth organization, hedging a comment she made earlier in the week equating the intelligence of pigs and mentally retarded children

“Now, it’s us.” Slogan on 260 packets of bar-coded cocaine confiscated by Brazilian police in a Rio de Janeiro slum

“This is a question of absolute emergency.” Brazilian Health Minister Jose Serra, announcing a move to violate pharmaceutical giant Roche’s patent on anti-AIDS drug Nelfinavir by producing generics domestically

“Sometimes he tries to talk to me but I don’t like him. I turn my head.” Zebulon Simentov, believed to be one of two remaining Afghan Jews living under the repressive Taliban regime, on his prickly relationship with synagogue mate and fellow Jew, Ishaq Levin

“It was ‘Fantasia in C Minor’ with mobile phone, beeping watches and coughing and sneezing accompaniment.” Reviewer Katie Grant, on the ambiance at an Edinburgh Festival recital by Hungarian pianist Andras Schiff, who stormed offstage

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Charles Flores”

“He was afraid of flying.” Mohamed al-Amir Atta, father of suspected hijacker Mohamed Atta, on why he believes his son was not involved in the attacks, despite evidence to the contrary

“It’s time for action, not words.’’ Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer, on America’s war strategy

“Lice, dirt, blood.’’ FormerSoviet general Aleksandr Lebed, on his recollection of fighting a war in Afghanistan

“My second day as chairman, a plane I lease, flying with engines I built, crashed into a building that I insure, and it was covered with a network I own.” Jeff Immelt, new head of General Electric, which has donated more than $12 million to the families of rescue workers, along with generators and CT scanners for the rescue operation

“Getting Osama bin Laden is the beginning, not the end, of this process.’’ Bill Clinton, on the war against terrorism

“It hurts to even look in that direction.’’ Bernadette Artus, an employee of the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission, on the gap where the World Trade Center used to be

“These terrorists don’t function in a vacuum. They function in a country. And countries foster and facilitate and tolerate their behavior, and that’s got to stop.’’ Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on ways to win the war

“If I see someone come in and he’s got a diaper on his head and a fan belt around that diaper on his head, that guy needs to be pulled over and checked.’’ Louisiana Rep. John Cooksey, in a statewide radio address. Cooksey later apologized, adding that he meant to refer to Osama bin Laden and not Arab-Americans in general.

“Osama will be the last person to leave Afghanistan.’’ Taliban leader Mohammed Omar, to a visiting Pakistani delegation, before the Taliban officially refused to turn over bin Laden to the United States

“It’s more like the kind of humor that would make a person cry.’’ Writer Todd Hanson, on how the satirical newspaper The Onion will attempt to address the attacks this week

“Sleeping would be a luxury. How dare I sleep?’’ Birmingham, Ala., resident Francine Lovett, on her reaction to the attacks

“You try to assume a normal life that you can work yourself back into. Otherwise, they defeat you twice.’’ Artist Richard Serra, on why he has remained in his lower Manhattan loft without electricity or water

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-21” author: “Alexander Brindley”

“I’ve got a hundred bucks that says my baby beats Pete’s baby. I’ve got genetics on my side.” Andre Agassi, who is expecting a baby with fellow tennis great Steffi Graf in December, envisioning a match between his child and the future progeny of rival Pete Sampras

“Some guys have air conditioning. In these older trucks, we just open the windows. I’ve got a lot of water, I wear skimpy clothes and I’m good to go.” Illinois trucker Tim O’Donnell, on how he and other truckers are coping with the wave of 100-degree days that has struck the Midwest in the last month

“We want to change the law. And the last time I looked, that’s pretty difficult to do without the presidential signature.” Georgia Rep. Charlie Norwood, leader of a six-year campaign for a patient’s bill of rights, justifying his unexpected deal with President George W. Bush

“As a pastor, I don’t want your teachers teaching my kids about religion.” Rev. Mike Young, on the Hawaii state school board’s decision to reject standards that would have required “multiple theories of origin,” including creationism, to be taught in public schools

“Ed, this doesn’t feel right.” Final radio transmission of novice pilot Milo John Reese, who took off for his first solo flight around a Florida airport but instead flew 100 miles before crash-landing in Cuba

“It has been headed for expensive obsolescence.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on the B-1 bomber

“If I were to factor the time I put into this project, I would not be in the black.” Graduate student John Freyer, whose dissertation consists of a Web site offering for sale virtually all his possessions

“What she faced was a group of senators with rope in their hands.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, on the Senate Commerce Committee’s party-line 12-11 vote to reject Mary Sheila Gall as President Bush’s nominee to head the Consumer Product Safety Commission

“If you know of any kids who’ve come from Europe for a high-school exchange program, they think American high schools are a lark.” Jack Jennings, director of the Center on Education Policy, on a study showing a drop in U.S. students’ math ability in 12th grade

“It’s shag-errific.” Sotheby’s International agent Richard Klug, evaluating Wilt Chamberlain’s former L.A. mansion, now on the market

“There will be ups and downs.” Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, reluctantly conceding that President Bush had a successful week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Alina Lowder”

“Things that should be bipartisan can turn partisan. Things that should bring people together divide them.” John DiIulio, on resigning as director of the Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives

“He has never dated anybody without marrying them, or at least asking them to marry him.” Brian Hunt, on his estranged father, Charles T. Hunt III, who omitted his three previous trips down the aisle from his sworn certificate to marry Massachusetts Acting Gov. Jane Swift

“It’s not censorship, it’s just removing it from the library.” Library advisory board member Eddie MacCausland, on his proposal to ban a sex-education book from the public library in Marion County, Fla.

“All the free sweat.” Chicago Tribune reporter Bob Kemper, on his favorite part of covering President George W. Bush’s vacation in Crawford, Texas

“You never know.” Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, on whether he will seek the presidency in 2004

“Listen to your mother. In my case, I don’t have any choice.” President George W. Bush, speaking to Colorado children on family values

“I’m not going to seek the Communist Party nomination or the Independent Party nomination or the LaRouchie Party nomination.” Illinois Gov. George Ryan, trying to silence rumors that he will run again for governor

“It makes them feel uncomfortable to be without their guns.” Women Against Gun Control founder Janalee Tobias, on Utah Republicans who will have to leave their weapons behind to hear Vice President Dick Cheney speak at their party convention on Aug. 25

“I don’t want people to see us as an 800-pound gorilla.” Carl Gulbrandsen, managing director of the University of Wisconsin foundation that owns the patent on the human embryonic stem cell

“It’s pretty horrible. Right now there are more questions than answers.” St. Louis police spokeswoman Adella Jones, on finding three boys, 8, 3 and 1, dead in a St. Louis home

“My philosophy is, if you don’t have time to smell the flowers, take them with you.” Illinois resident Julie Gordon, explaining why she planted an herb garden in the back of her 1993 Honda

“It turned out to be a minefield of thunderstorms.” Steve Fossett, on the bad weather that foiled his fifth attempt to circumnavigate the globe in a hot-air balloon

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Ashley Dittman”

“I grew up at cocktail parties chatting with everyone, so it’s in my blood.” Caroline Rhea, comic, “Hollywood Squares” regular and costar of “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch,” on her qualifications to take over “The Rosie O’Donnell Show” next year

“I never shed any tears in front of my interrogators. But when I thought about my family, I shed all the tears I will for the rest of my life.” American scholar Gao Zhan, who returned last week to America after spending five months in Chinese detention centers

“We interns are naive, and we are already conditioned to be exploited.” D.C. intern James Stern, on low-paying Washington internships

“A refuge to me means a land of last resort. I take my grandfather’s legacy in Alaska very seriously.” Susan Eisenhower, on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, created during her grandfather’s presidency

“It’s kind of scary with all the problems we’ve had in Palm Beach County. Even a dog can vote.” Wendy Albert, owner of Cocoa Fernandez, a poodle who has been registered to vote in the county since July 11. Officials suspect Albert registered the dog under her address.

“He was not seen wielding a machete at a barricade. There is no paper trail.” Expert on African law Filip Reyntjens, on the difficulty of prosecuting Protais Zigiranyirazo, allegedly the mastermind behind Rwanda’s 1994 genocide campaign. A Belgian court will decide this week if he will be tried before the United Nations.

“It’s not our desire to fill our jails with people looking for a safe place to stay.” Fargo, N.D., police sergeant Wayne Jorgenson, on a robber who allegedly targeted a Fargo motel because a Web site ranked the city’s jail as the nation’s safest

“It wasn’t hogwash. It was truth.” Clara Harding, on her late husband’s belief that nuclear-weapons workers were getting sick from exposure to bomb-making components. The Labor Department will begin sending compensation checks to workers or their families, including Harding, on Tuesday.

“We are fighting an enemy which is much stronger than man.” Sicilian-government commissioner Nello Musumeci, on lava flows from Mount Etna, which are threatening mountain tourist facilities

“Colin Powell will not have the guts to go onstage.” Former secretary of State Madeleine Albright, ribbing her successor, who subsequently warbled a country ballad at the annual show that closed last week’s Association of Southeast Asian Nations foreign-ministers conference

“Nobody is going to go in with a big blank check and write you a check for $20 million.” Bob Beauchamp, president of BMC Software, on the consequences of the economic downturn for computer companies

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Joseph Kissee”

“He was not seen wielding a machete at a barricade. There is no paper trail.” African law expert Filip Reyntjens, on the difficulty of prosecuting Protais Zigiranyirazo, allegedly a principal organizer of Rwanda’s 1994 genocide campaign. A Belgian court will decide this week whether he will be tried before the U.N. tribunal in Arusha, Tanzania.

“Scientifically this is very exciting, but I’m also depressed.” Carol Sibley, geneticist at the University of Washington, on confirming the presence of a new strain of highly drug-resistant malaria that has spread from parts of Asia and South America to Africa

“The state government will need to look at changing the law in order to protect people too stupid to protect themselves.” Iain Evans, environment minister of South Australia, reacting to a video of boating tourists patting great white sharks during a feeding frenzy

“Bush named his cat India, so we are naming dogs George Bush.” Shankar Gaikar, regional coordinator for the Hindu nationalist group Bajrang Dal, expressing dissatisfaction with the First Cat’s moniker at a dog-naming ceremony

“There’s a certain gothic appeal to it.” Dr. Julie Holland, of the New York University School of Medicine, describing increased use of cigarettes dipped in embalming fluid among recreational-drug users in the United States

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Laura Lowery”

“Unlike a professional man–who can pick up his briefcase and go–its not easy to pick up your farm and go.” Colonial leader of Zimbabwe Ian Smith, on the flight of the white community from the country due to an increase in interracial violence and a tanking economy

“You can be as free as you want now, and that’s why the judiciary believes they have to stop it.” An Iranian policeman on the ongoing tug of war between reformists and conservatives, highlighted when violent protests broke out last week at the site of a public execution in Tehran

“I’m interested in her erotic-iconic quality and her ability to provoke extremes of response.” London gallery curator Tara Howard, on the commissioning of 30 contemporary artists to render former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher for an upcoming exhibit

“We have war, drought and now we have this Christian problem.” An Afghan fruit vendor on the detention of eight foreign-aid workers for proselytizing in Kabul

“He did not steal them. And those that know him, believe him.” Andrew Shaw, lawyer for Princess Diana’s former butler, Paul Burrell, who was formally charged with the theft of several royal items, including an Indiana Jones bullwhip and an autographed photo from “Baywatch” star David Hasselhoff

“In as much as Castro has reached the mandatory retirement age for dictators, we hope he will be moving on soon into retirement.” U.S. State Department spokesman Phillip Reeker, wishing Cuban leader Fidel Castro a happy 75th birthday

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Jewel Price”

“I have made this decision with great care, and I pray it is the right one.” George W. Bush, announcing that he will allow limited federal funding for stem-cell research

“It takes two hands to clap.” Chinese president Jiang Zemin, on working with the Bush administration

“We don’t want the EU de Toilette to stink like sweaty hands.” Perfumer Robert Jelinek, unveiling plans for a new fragrance named EU de Toilette, which will use the smell of the Austrian schilling, the German Deutsche mark and the French franc to ease the nasal transition to new euro notes

“The majority said the king is the lion. If he is the lion he is the head of the country.” Chief Mangaliso Dlamini, chairman of the Constitutional Review Committee of Swaziland, announcing expanded powers for King Mswati III, to the disappointment of the country’s pro-democracy movement

“I decided to think a little bit out of the box and ask for some foreign aid.” American teacher Kim Kearby, on sending out hundreds of letters to foreign embassies and heads of state in an effort to raise funds for a cash-strapped school district outside Chicago

“If the law against cloning is approved, it would be a return to the Dark Ages, like Afghanistan, like the Taliban.” Cloning advocate Dr. Severino Antinori, expressing his controversial views and ruffling feathers at a scientific conference in Washington, D.C., last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Alex Falkenhagen”

“This will come as a great surprise to my ex-wife, three sons, ex-girlfriends and whomever the future ex-Mrs. Leach might be.” “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” host Robin Leach, on a controversial New York Times crossword puzzle that he said implied he was gay

“The street was full of blood.” Sarit Barashy, who was shopping nearby when explosives were set off in a Jerusalem pizzeria, killing the suicide bomber and 15 others

“It doesn’t rise to the level of a Mt. Vernon or a Monticello, but it does have a place in Americana.” Robert Sahagian, on his court fight to preserve the childhood home of Jay Leno, which is set for demolition this week

“He thought it was a good thing to do, considering the weather.” Sgt. Mark Blanchette, on arresting a man who went to a gas station and filled up his SUV in the buff

“I will not engage in these partisan politics. I never have.” Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, responding to Democrats’ calls for her resignation

“If you care that your pilots and your aircraft are not harmed by the weapons of the high-spirited freedom fighters of great Iraq, then take your aircraft and battleships and go home.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, two days before U.S. and British planes bombed three Iraqi air-defense sites last Friday

“Because governors are actually focused on solving problems.” Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, on why the leading Democratic candidates for the White House are mainly senators

“It hit its worst at the French Open. Every day I was in my room and I was online. I wasn’t able to stop and I bought, bought, bought, bought, bought.” Tennis star Serena Williams, on kicking her Internet shopping habit

“It’s our anti-drug.” Twenty-three-year-old Jason Meyer, on why he has friends tow him down the street in an easy chair attached to a pickup truck

“It’s like we had no summer at all.” Caroline Griggs, on starting her senior year of high school in early August after her school, like many others across the country, pushed the start of classes up two weeks

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Arnold Grant”

“I think there’s some justification in their trying to protect themselves by pre-empting.” U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, on Israel’s controversial policy of targeted killings of suspected Palestinian militants

“They want to finish the job.” Brig. Gen. James Kabarebe, of the Tutsi-dominated Rwandan Patriotic Army, accusing Hutus sheltered in the neighboring Democratic Republic of the Congo of rearming for a second genocide

“Condoms may even be one of the main reasons for the spread of HIV-AIDS.” Statement by the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference, maintaining that condoms encourage promiscuity and immorality as well as disease

“It’s shag-errific.” Sotheby’s International agent Richard Klug, evaluating legendary lothario and basketball player Wilt Chamberlain’s former L.A. mansion, now on the market

“His Royal Highness temporarily lost consciousness.” Statement from Prince Charles’s office after he fell off his horse during a polo match last week

“We have to get rid of this headache.” Russian Judge Boris Gladko, on the high-profile imprisonment of American Fulbright scholar John Tobin, who was released last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Chad Simpon”

“You get this flash of lightning… but it will take more than one swoop to turn the market around.” James Moltz, vice chairman of International Strategy and Investment, on the Fed’s surprising decision to lower interest rates by half a percentage point

“I am proud of and committed to my party’s principles and its heritage. However, the campaign is over.” President Clinton’s Commerce Secretary Norman Mineta, accepting the nomination to become George W. Bush’s Transportation secretary

“Republican minorities are not going to sound like Jesse Jackson.” GOP strategist Allan Hoffenblum, on the policy priorities of the minorities Bush has named to his cabinet

“Security definitely can’t be good if I can just walk by them.” Jonathan Fredin, a photographer for the Englewood Sun Herald, who managed to sneak into a private party and snap pictures of President-elect Bush while he vacationed in Florida

“It wouldn’t make sense that, having had a career for my entire life… that somehow overnight I would turn into a pumpkin.” Lynne Cheney, on her plans to work at a think tank and serve on a few corporate boards during her husband’s term as vice president

“It’s good for the people to see the king and queen having a hamburger at Planet Hollywood.” King Abdullah of Jordan, explaining that eating at the popular chain in London proves that royals are just like everyone else

“When I look at it now, it probably should have been Miami and Oklahoma. I didn’t think we looked like we belonged out there.” Bobby Bowden, head coach of Florida State, which lost to Oklahoma 13-2 in the “national championship” game

“There’s no question about the repugnancy of many of his songs. They’re nauseating in terms of how we as a culture like to view human progress. But it’s a remarkable recording.” Michael Greene, president of the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, in giving Eminem four Grammy nominations–including album of the year

“I’m a good catch. A frog waiting to be turned into a prince.” A successful New Orleans roofing contractor who paid $4,000 for a personal-ad billboard just off the interstate

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Charles Hill”

“You wonder when you leave the White House if you’ll ever draw a crowd again.” Former president Bill Clinton, during a send-off rally with former staffers

“I tried to walk a fine line between acting lawfully and testifying falsely, but I now recognize that I did not fully accomplish this goal and am certain my responses to questions about Ms. Lewinsky were false.” Clinton, publicly admitting that he lied during his Paula Jones testimony. Under a deal reached with the independent counsel, Clinton’s law license will be suspended for five years, but he will face no charges.

“As for me, I’ll leave the presidency more idealistic, more full of hope, than the day I arrived, and more confident than ever that America’s best days lie ahead.” Clinton, during his farewell address

“When you want comments about the next administration, please feel free to call.” Outgoing Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, in her farewell to reporters

“I bought a flashlight yesterday, and I’m buying a bigger one today.” Roland Plukas, a Santa Monica resident with a newborn baby at home, on the rolling blackouts in California

“This is no time for evasions, denials or alibis. I fully accept responsibility and I am truly sorry for my actions.” The Rev. Jesse Jackson, admitting that he fathered a child out of wedlock

“People here were just so fed up, they said, ‘Sure, let’s have a eunuch’.” Vishwanath Prasad Gupta, head of the Chamber of Commerce in Katni, India, where a eunuch was just elected mayor

“He will put his hand on the Bible, he will swear to uphold the law… He has said so, and I take him at his word.” West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, a Democrat, announcing that he will vote to confirm John Ashcroft, Bush’s controversial nominee for attorney general

“He got the shot in that every one of our players would like to do to me. He just got a free one.” New York Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy, who needed more than 12 stitches after being struck in the head by Marcus Camby in an attempt to stop the player from fighting. Camby was suspended for five games.

“[Regis] is a lot less clever than you want to believe he is.” Former “Millionaire” contestant Stan Flouride, on the show’s host, Regis Philbin

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Linda Knapp”

“You wonder when you leave the White House if you’ll ever draw a crowd again.” Former president Bill Clinton, during a send-off rally with former staffers

“It points not to the failure of negotiations, but to the futility of violence and force.” Bill Clinton, urging Israelis and Palestinians not to “draw the wrong lessons” from the recent violence in the Mideast

“When you want comments about the next administration, please feel free to call.” Outgoing Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, in her farewell to reporters

“I am overwhelmed.” Antoinette Cordero, a 21-year-old student,after witnessing the events leading to the abrupt resignation of Philippine President Joseph Estrada last Friday

“The computer was his whole life.” Liron Vaitzman, 18, describing her friend Ofir Rahum, an Israeli teenage boy who was found dead in the Palestinian-controlled West Bank town of Ramallah after arranging over the Internet to meet an English-speaking girl

“The government has abandoned us.” Jean-Francois Cesbron, president of France’s FDSEA farmer’s union, speaking for the farmers who have filed lawsuits claiming the government failed to take sufficient steps to relieve damages caused by the BSE crisis

“I bought a flashlight yesterday, and I’m buying a bigger one today.” Roland Plukas, a Santa Monica, California, resident with a newborn baby at home, on the rolling blackouts that struck his state last week

“People here were just so fed up, they said, ‘Sure, let’s have a eunuch’.” Vishwanath Prasad Gupta, head of the Chamber of Commerce in Katni, India, where a eunuch was just elected mayor

“I really want my girls back. I really do.” Tranda Wecker, mother of the twins being claimed by both an American and a Welsh couple who had adopted them over the Internet

“We want to create an extra space of liberty, but we want to do it in a controlled manner.” Belgian Health Minister Magda Alvoet, on Belgium’s upcoming royal decree legalizing cannabis possession

“I grew up listening to her in my room.” Britney Spears, bestowing praise on pop elder Madonna while announcing to fans at the Rock in Rio festival that they have agreed to sing a duet together

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Cesar Kilburn”

“Tell everyone to stay out of Oklahoma.” Brett Wallace, an Oklahoma state trooper, on the ice storms that slammed the south-central United States

“This is when compassion runs head-on into conservatism.” Democratic media consultant Bill Knapp, on Missouri Sen. John Ashcroft’s nomination to be attorney general

“They’re getting the band back together. It’s very exciting. [Bush] is going to be pardoning a president soon.” Political analyst Marshall Wittmann, on the “restoration” of the Ford administration

“We are not looking for a pretext to say no. We are looking for a reason to proceed.” Hasan Abdel Rahman, the Palestinian Authority representative to Washington, on the dwindling prospectsof a Mideast peace deal

“You haven’t heard the last of us.” A note left by the seven men who escaped from Texas’s John B. Connally maximum-security prison unit on Dec. 13

“The intelligent minority of this world will mark 1 January 2001 as the real beginning of the 21st century and the Third Millennium.” Arthur C. Clarke, author of “2001: A Space Odyssey,” adding that people who partied on New Year’s Eve 1999 are welcome to celebrate again

“Big fish eat little fish, and old concepts tend to be replaced by newer concepts. It’s been a slow-motion train wreck for 25 years.” Sid Doolittle, a Chicago-area retail consultant and a former Montgomery Ward executive, on the closing of the century-old chain’s 250 stores

“I try to tell the Democrats, ‘Look, I understand you’re angry. Just don’t curse at me’.” Matt Duss, who answers the few remaining phone lines at the Ralph Nader for President headquarters

“I guess that qualifies you to be president of the United States, then.” New York Gov. George Pataki, after Raymond Martinez, his appointee for state motor-vehicle commissioner, admitted to a 1989 DWI arrest

“Next year I will be getting a plastic tree.” London resident Kirsten Coulson, who was hospitalized after being bitten by a snake lurking in her Christmas tree

“When you reach my age and you find yourself eating light bulbs for a living, you know you’ve made some bad career moves along the way.” Matt Hely, 46, on his life as a circus performer

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Harry Castro”

“So long as the game in Washington is a game of search and destroy, I think we will have very few people who are willing to do what I did, which was to put myself through this in order to serve.” Linda Chavez, withdrawing her nomination for secretary of Labor amid controversy about an illegal immigrant she housed and supported in the early ’90s

“By the time it was over, our candidate had won the popular vote, and the only way they could win the election was to stop the voting in Florida.” President Bill Clinton, during a Democratic rally in Chicago

“You’ve got approval.” FCC Commissioner Susan Ness, mimicking AOL’s you’ve got mail message while giving final approval for the company’s merger with Time Warner

“I only have on one layer of makeup. I’m incognito.” Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, upon being recognized while shopping at Target

“You can never have a closed mind about these things, but we prefer that people cook with it.” Procter & Gamble representative Shanae Gibbs, after learning that controversial attorney general nominee John Ashcroft was anointed with P&G’s Crisco oil before being sworn in as a Missouri senator

“As you can imagine, I’m mad as hell! The sanctity of my home has been violated.” South Carolina Gov. Jim Hodges, announcing the firing of the state prisons director following a prisoner sex scandal in the governor’s mansion. Guards are accused of allowing the minimum-security inmates working as maids and groundskeepers to have sex while in the mansion.

“If indeed you mess with a person’s life so much… that a child is left without parents, are you then going to take care of the child?” Heather Cirmo, Family Research Council spokeswoman, on news that one of the couples on Fox’s “Temptation Island” has a kid

“I have to make arrangements to find [my wife] Candy a new husband.” Edwin Edwards, former governor of Louisiana, on his preparations for spending 10 years in prison. He is appealing the conviction on 17 counts of racketeering, extortion, fraud and conspiracy.

“Neil, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be dead.” A confused friend to Anchorage, Alaska, resident Neil Beaton Jr. Police had mistakenly identified a corpse as Beaton, unnecessarily plunging his family into mourning.

“I need someone to spend some time with. I just thought maybe I would find this little gal.” Trucker Donald Cunningham, who has spent thousands of dollars searching for a woman he kissed in a naval-base elevator 36 years ago. He never asked her name.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Maria Tylwalk”

“So long as the game in Washington is a game of search and destroy, I think we will have very few people who are willing to do what I did, which was to put myself through this in order to serve.” Linda Chavez, withdrawing her nomination for secretary of Labor amid controversy about an illegal immigrant she housed and supported in the early ’90s

“When I arrived on the shores of America when I was 8 years old, the boat on which we came passed the Statue of Liberty… I thought at that time, ‘What a wonderful country’.” Elaine Chao, reminiscing after being appointed Chavez’s replacement. Chao will be the first Chinese-American to hold a cabinet post.

“I only have on one layer of makeup. I’m incognito.” Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, upon being recognized while shopping at Target

“By the time it was over, our candidate had won the popular vote, and the only way they could win the election was to stop the voting in Florida.” President Bill Clinton, during a Democratic rally in Chicago

“I made more progress in the Middle East than I did between Socks and Buddy.” Clinton, resigned in his role as mediator in the ongoing dispute between America’s First Cat, Socks, and the presidential dog Buddy, who will likely be going their separate ways when he leaves the White House

“It shows even strong, fit and healthy people can be susceptible.” Dr. David Grosser, of Queensland, Australia, on the threat of deep-vein thrombosis affecting airplane passengers of all physicaltypes, after it was revealed that three members of the British Olympic team suffered potentially fatal blood clots when flying to Australiafor last year’s Olympics in Sydney

“He keeps an open mind, but once his mind is made up, he closes it.” An associate of John Kufuor, on the recently elected Ghanaian president’s reputation for standing firm against opposition

“We want to hear the view from the South.” World Economic Forum managing director Claude Smadja, addressing complaints that the forum–whose high-powered annual meeting takes place later this month in Davos, Switzerland, where demonstrations have been banned by the authorities–pays too little attention to the developing world

“You’ve got approval.” FCC Commissioner Susan Ness, mimicking AOL’s you’ve got mail message when giving final approval for the company’s merger with Time Warner

“This bikini made me a success.” Actress Ursula Andress, now 64, on the skimpy swimsuit she sported when she emerged from the sea in the 1962 James Bond film, “Dr. No.” The bikini will be up for auction at a sale of Bond memorabilia at Christie’s in London next month, and is expected to fetch up to ??40,000

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Earlene Etheredge”

“We’ve always said we wouldn’t do it if we couldn’t do it right.” A senior White House official, explaining the reasons behind President Bill Clinton’s decision not to travel to North Korea in the remaining days of his presidency

“The intelligent minority of this world will mark 1 January 2001 as the real beginning of the 21st century and the Third Millennium.” Arthur C. Clarke, author of “2001: A Space Odyssey,” adding that people who partied on New Year’s Eve 1999 are welcome to celebrate again

“I guess that qualifies you to be president of the United States, then.” New York Gov. George Pataki, after Raymond Martinez, his appointee for state motor-vehicle commissioner, admitted to a 1989 DWI arrest

“This is when compassion runs head-on into conservatism.” Democratic media consultant Bill Knapp, on Missouri Sen. John Ashcroft’s nomination to be U.S. attorney general

“I do not foresee changing that position by Jan. 11.” Convicted Oklahoma bomber Timothy McVeigh, restating his plea to be executed as soon as possible

“You haven’t heard the last of us.” A note left by the seven men who escaped from Texas’s John B. Connally maximum-security prison unit on Dec. 13

“I try to tell the Democrats, ‘Look, I understand you’re angry. Just don’t curse at me’.” Matt Duss, who answers the few remaining phone lines at the Ralph Nader for President headquarters

“We’ll hunt them down.” Philippine Defense Secretary Orlando Mercado, promising strong, immediate action against the Muslim rebel group Abu Sayyaf after the recent murder of a Roman Catholic priest–a major setback in the government’s efforts to quell rebel groups throughout the nation

“Next year I will be getting a plastic tree.” London resident Kirsten Coulson, who was hospitalized after being bitten by a snake lurking in her Christmas tree

“When you reach my age and you find yourself eating light bulbs for a living, you know you’ve made some bad career moves along the way.” Matt Hely, 46, on his life as a circus performer

“It really has spoiled Christmas for me.” Mary Halfpenny, 75, of Leicester, England, on Princess Anne’s comments as Halfpenny handed over a homemade basket of flowers as a gift to the Queen Mother on Christmas Day. Princess Anne reportedly snatched the basket and said: “What a ridiculous thing to do.” A Buckingham Palace spokeswoman dismissed the fuss as a “misunderstanding.”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Bruce Lee”

“We are waiting for the president now.” Israeli peace negotiator Gilead Sher, after a meeting at the White House with President Bill Clinton, as the chances of brokering peace during his presidency become slimmer by the day

“Is there more humiliation than what we are living?” Hassan Zreai, embracing his dead child as he was stopped at an Israeli checkpoint in the Gaza Strip. His baby daughter had died two days earlier, and Zreai was trying to get her home so she could have a proper Muslim burial.

“You get this flash of lightning… but it will take more than one swoop to turn the market around.” James Moltz, vice chairman of International Strategy and Investment, on the U.S. Federal Reserve’s surprising decision to lower interest rates by half a percentage point

“It wouldn’t make sense that, having had a career for my entire life… somehow overnight I would turn into a pumpkin.” Lynne Cheney, on her plans to work at a think tank and serve on a few corporate boards during her husband’s term as vice president

“I am sure Beijing intends to threaten us, but we won’t be affected by these attacks.” A spokesman for the Falun Gong spiritual movement, vowing to proceed with plans to hold an international conference in Hong Kong later this month despite likely interference from the Chinese government

“I will perform my duties to the best of my abilities even if it means the sacrifice of my own life.” Chief Justice Hilario Davide, the judge presiding over the corruption trial of Philippines President Joseph Estrada, after he received a death threat last week

“It’s good for the people to see the king and queen having a hamburger at Planet Hollywood.” King Abdullah of Jordan, explaining that eating at the popular chain in London proves that royals are just like everyone else

“There’s no question about the repugnancy of many of his songs. They’re nauseating in terms of how we as a culture like to view human progress. But it’s a remarkable recording.” Michael Greene, president of the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, in giving Eminem four Grammy nominations–including album of the year

“It is possible that there are uglier towns in the world than Walsall, but if so I do not know them.” Theodore Dalrymple, of the New Jersey publication New Criterion, explaining his decision to describe Walsall, England, as similar to “Ceausescu’s Romania with fast-food outlets,” and possibly “the ugliest town in the world”

“We want them to go home.” An Australian Immigration Ministry spokesman, on more than a hundred people who have outstayed their visas after the Sydney Olympics

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-02” author: “Charles Brown”

“China is a strategic partner… I mean, strategic competitor, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find areas in which we can partner.” Bush, adding confusion over his country’s relationship with China

“It was basically a fight between two middle-class Englishmen–i.e., girls.” British actor Hugh Grant, on his fight scene with Colin Firth in the film “Bridget Jones’s Diary”

“If Arafat is a terrorist, then what is Sharon? Mother Teresa?” Mohammed Dahlan, the Gaza security chief, voicing his concern over the fact that neither leader is pushing hard enough for peace

“I don’t think he can handle the heat. And he’s from Austria.” Actor Robert Conrad, doubting Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ability to leadCalifornia through its energy crisis. Last week, the “Terminator” was contemplating running for governor in 2002.

“Eighteen years of work, and it’s all over.” Dutch farmer Jan Willem Horstmann, preparing to slaughter the entire line of sheep that he took so many years to breed, as foot-and-mouth disease continued to plague continental Europe

“The ethics and legal implications of ‘splatting’ and ‘sloshing’ are expected to be hotly debated under the big top.” A spokesperson for Clowns International, explaining why circus clowns in London have been told to take out insurance against the risk of being sued by unamused spectators who get hit with custard pies during performances

“The press has a right to communicate what goes on in an execution chamber.” Derek Newman, an attorney for Entertainment Network Inc., a Florida-based Internet company suing for the right to air the execution of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh

“You want to die? Go ahead and die.” One of two Colorado therapists shown in a videotape giving “rebirthing” therapy to a 10-year-old girl who lost consciousness and later died. The two are charged with child abuse resulting in death.

“I’m very upset. In fact, I’m on heavy medication.” Presidential family friend Brad Freeman, on the disappearance of Ernie, the Bush family’s cat. Ernie had been living with Freeman because the First Family feared he would scratch up the White House furniture.

“Elephants are my favorites.” Jillian Blair, whose grandfather works with performing animals, on bringing an African elephant to her school in Dallas

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Justin Wise”

“There’s a lot of stress involved when your house is underwater.” Wisconsin Gov. Scott McCallum, slogging through theflooded streets of Prairie du Chien after the Mississippi River overflowed its banks

“Recount’s over. Go away!” Bush recount attorney Ben Ginsberg, responding to questions about his client’s unpaid legal bills from the Florida court battles

“We expected this. You can’t have a trade summit these days without tear gas; it would be like having a cheeseburger without the cheese.” A senior Bush administration official, on protests at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City

“Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.” President Bush, on not taking questions at a photo opportunity with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien

“Deciding whether or not we have a cross or some stars on a flag is not one of the graver issues that people are struggling with every day.” Rolling Fork, Miss., Mayor Gary Henderson, explaining the low voter turnout on a proposal to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state’s banner. Voters overwhelmingly supported the current flag.

“I called Nixon some pretty choice things and never had something like this happen.” Margaret Richards, who found Secret Service agents on her doorstep after she sent a scathing e-mail to a Florida state representative, Gov. Jeb Bush and the president

“Details on the type of mushrooms are unavailable.” Burbank airport spokesperson Victor Gill, on “West Wing” mastermind Aaron Sorkin’s arrest at the airport for the alleged possession of psychedelic mushrooms

“There are no hurdles left to hinder such a mission.” Russian scientist Anatoli Grigoriev, on Russian plans to land men on Mars by 2020

“Not to get too Susan Sarandon on you, but part of what I’d get off on would be the oration.” Movie star Ben Affleck, explaining why he’d like to run for Congress

“I’m like an expensive menu. You can look at it, but you can’t afford it.” Tennis star Anna Kournikova, on her demanding standards for would-be suitors

“You could teach your grandmother to do it.” British hacker Raphael Gray, on the ease with which he stole Microsoft founder Bill Gates’s credit-card number off the Internet and used it to order Viagra for the tech tycoon

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Russell Durham”

“We live in a dangerous world now.” James Zumwalt, father of Fran Zumwalt, a teacher wounded during the shooting at Granite Hills High School in El Cajon, Calif.

“If you wanted [to eliminate risk of foot-and-mouth disease], you would have to slaughter the whole country.” Ben Gill, president of Britain’s National Farmers’ Union

“The president seems to believe that the only way we can solve our energy crisis is by soiling our environment.” New York Sen. Charles Schumer, on President George W. Bush’s decision to roll back several Clinton environmental-protection policies

“It was tough. There’s a lot of pressure trying to be smarter than Melissa Gilbert or Valerie Bertinelli.” Former Batman Adam West, on competing against classic-TV stars on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”

“[Paul Begala’s] scrawny, he’s small, he’s weak, but he’s tenacious. Anybody who can conitnue to defend Bill Clinton I have to respect.” Rick Davis, John McCain’s former campaign manager, who will square off against Begala, a former White House adviser, in the Boston marathon

“How else would a person feel when he sees his house burn down in front of his eyes?” Former Russian cosmonaut Gennady Strekalov, explaining his teary eyes after watching the 15-year-old Mir space station successfully crash back on Earth

“You didn’t think you were going to be the prime minister, and you probably darn sure didn’t think I was going to be president.” George W. Bush to Ariel Sharon, Israel’s newly elected prime minister

“Eventually you just say these things are just too cheap to sell.” James Crawford, portfolio manager at Trevor Stewart Burton & Jacobsen, suggesting that the market has bottomed

“Dogs are dogs.They do the same thing everywhere… It’s just that there are no dogs in China because they eat them.” Claude Bebear, president of Paris’s bid to host the 2008 Olympics, on China’s allegation that rabid dogs make the city too dangerous and dirty. China has been lobbying to have the Games held in Beijing.

“Apparently people spit all over the place.” Danny Crawford, city council president for Athens, Ala., on the group’s decision to prohibit city employees from spitting tobacco and leaving spit cups in public vehicles

“I am not a ‘ruffle aficionado’.” Martha Stewart, suggesting that there are limits to her expertise

“On a scale of one to 10, I’ll give him a 20… I wish every man were so gay.” Ricky Martin’s girlfriend, model Ines Misan, mocking persistent questions about the singer’s sexuality

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “James Peacock”

“It was as if angels had taken hold of the wings.” Rodney Young, describing the U.S. spy plane’s suddenly calm descent after the collision with a Chinese fighter jet

“We used to be called a great place to raise your kids. Nobody says that anymore.” The Rev. Damon Lynch, pastor at Cincinnati’s New Prospect Baptist Church, on the need for the city to address its racial tensions. The city erupted in riots after a white police officer shot and killed an unarmed teenager he was trying to arrest.

“I am aware this news is going to upset people.” Daniel Vaillant, France’s Interior minister, after announcing that a stockpile of old artillery shells and chemical weapons might explode, and that 15,000 people living near it must be evacuated

“Why? Why? Why?” A front-page headline in South Africannewspaper theJohannesburg Star, after 43 people died in a football stampede

“Only uncertainty is certain. What integrates eventually disintegrates. Nothing is permanent.” Thailand’s Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, analyzing his political future

“I’m not a drug dealer. I’m a urine dealer.” Kenneth Curtis, of Greenville County, South Carolina, arrested for his Net business that helps people beat drug tests

“God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and he is going to destroy you and a lot of others.” Florida State Rep. Allen Trovillion,to a group of gay Orlando, Florida-area high-school students

“The ‘pat-down’ must have been especially interesting in that one.” Mark Kotte,a police lieutenant in Normal, Illinois, where officers searched a suspected shoplifter, only to find $32,212 hidden in her bra

“A day without mortars! But with 23 grenades and 18 Molotov cocktails.” An Israeli newspaper headline quoted in a New York Times article about just how bad things have gotten in the occupied territories

“We’ll make sure that he won’t have to line up and wait for his turn like the other inmates.” Venancio Roxas,of the inmates’ organization at Quezon City jail, on deposed Philippine President Joseph Estrada, who faces corruption charges. If found guilty, Roxas insists, the disgraced leader will have the privilege of using the toilet first each morning.

“I have a lot of credibility.” John WorldPeace, candidate for President George W. Bush’s old job as governor of Texas, on whether his decision to change his last name in 1988 might hurt him among the voters

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Michael Davis”

“We used to be called a great place to raise your kids. Nobody says that anymore.” Damon Lynch, pastor at Cincinnati’s New Prospect Baptist Church, on the need for the city to address issues of racial tension. The city erupted in riots after a white police officer shot and killed an unarmed black teenager he was trying to arrest.

“I still want to play. I just can’t do it anymore.” Troy Aikman, who guided the Dallas Cowboys to three Super Bowl championships in four years, announcing his retirement

“I’m not a drug dealer. I’m a urine dealer.” Kenneth Curtis, of Greenville County, S.C., arrested for his Internet business, which helps people beat drug tests

“God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and he is going to destroy you and a lot of others.” Florida state Rep. Allen Trovillion, to a group of gay Orlando-area high-school students

“Lieberman-Buchanan: A ticket only a mother can love… Lieberman-Buchanan: Building a bridge to the 14th century.” Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, suggesting slogans for his possible run for the White House–which he jokes will be made with Reform Party candidate Pat Buchanan

“The ‘pat-down’ must have been especially interesting in that one.” Mark Kotte, a police lieutenant in Normal, Ill., where officers searched a suspected shoplifter, only to find $32,212 hidden in her bra

“In the area of human rights, we share the same view.” China’s Foreign Ministry spokesman Zhu Bangzao, on the meeting between China’s President Jiang Zemin and Cuban President Fidel Castro

“I asked for a recount, but that didn’t do me any good… [And] I’m sick of people suggesting I name them Jesse and Strom.” Sixty-nine-year-old California Rep. Pete Stark, announcing that he and his (younger) wife are expecting twins

“California is literally being plundered.” California Public Utilities Commission President Loretta Lynch, claiming that deregulation has allowed energy sellers to run up prices on electricity and natural gas

“We’ll make sure that he won’t have to line up and wait for his turn like the other inmates.” Venancio Roxas, of the inmates’ organization at Quezon City jail, on deposed Philippine president Joseph Estrada, who faces corruption charges. Roxas insists that if the disgraced leader is found guilty he will have the privilege of using the toilet first each morning.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Jennifer Gowen”

“I just want to welcome you to a hard-money world.” Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell, on the McCain-Feingold campaign-finance-reform bill that seems likely to pass–limiting soft-money contributions but allowing larger hard-money donations

“There ain’t no light at the end of this tunnel.” Bill McVeigh, father of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy, who awaits execution

“She finally figured out a way to get people to stop looking at her butt.” Jay Leno, on Jennifer Lopez’s see-through top at the Oscars

“You are the weakest link. Goodbye!” Cutting catchphrase from the new NBC reality show

“[Yogi Berra’s] been an inspiration to me–not only because of his baseball skills but, of course, for the enduring mark he left on the English language. Some of the press corps even think he might be my speechwriter.” President George W. Bush, hosting Hall of Famers at the White House. Dubya also announced plans to hold coed tee-ball games on the South Lawn.

“I think there’s no way they should have to teach [math] now. We have computers. We no longer need to know why 3x = (2y)/4.” Talk-show host Rosie O’Donnell, arguing that there’s no place for math in the curriculum

“We spent a whole year pretending to be an actual news-gathering organization, and it’s hilarious that people on some level fell for it.” Madeleine Smithberg, executive producer of “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” on Comedy Central’s prestigious George Foster Peabody Award for “Indecision 2002,” its election coverage

“It isn’t fun anymore… Why are people so happy about a doughnut?” Bill Monroe, district manager for a Denver Amoco station crippled by traffic jams leading to the Krispy Kreme that just opened nearby

“We respect Laura’s right to have an opinion, but nobody has a First Amendment right to a television show.” Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation executive director Joan Garry, celebrating the demise of Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s talk show–which never recovered from the GLAAD-sponsored advertisers’ boycott

“You could call me P. Or Diddy. Or P. Diddy.” Sean Combs, the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy, announcing a name (and image) change

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “James Page”

“I guess we didn’t realize it was the actual climate he wanted to change.’’ Democrat Richard Gephardt of Missouri, joking about his misinterpretation of President Bush’s pledge to change the political climate in Washington

“She finally figured out a way to get people to stop looking at her butt.’’ Jay Leno on Jennifer Lopez’s see-through top at the Oscars

“There ain’t no light at the end of this tunnel.” Bill McVeigh, father of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy, who awaits execution

“When you retire, you’ll end up just collecting dust or moss. So I collect thermometers.” Richard Porter, a 73-year-old from Massachusetts, explaining why he could be heading for the Guinness Book of World Records on account of his collection of about 3,500 thermometers

“He didn’t look like he was drunk or high or anything. He looked like a jogger who had just forgotten to put on his clothes.‘‘Margaret Staines of Clitheroe, England, on a naked man who streaked through the town center last week, giving onlookers an early morning surprise

“[Yogi Berra’s] been an inspiration to me–not only because of his baseball skills but of course for the enduring mark he left on the English language. Some of the press corps even think he might be my speechwriter.’’ President George W. Bush, joking about his infamous grammar as he entertained various baseball legends at the White House last week

“I think there’s no way they should have to teach [mathematics], now. We have computers. We no longer need to know why 3x=2y/4.’’ American talk-show host and mother of three, Rosie O’ Donnell, arguing that there’s no place for mathematics in school curricula

“[Rugby player John Hopoate] is the first player accused of inserting his finger in another player’s anus since Bradley Clyde claimed a British back did it to him on the 1992 Kangaroo tour.” A report from rugby.com on Hopoate, a league bad boy, being charged with “contrary conduct” for, well…

“You could call me P. or Diddy, or P. Diddy.’’ Sean Combs, the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy, announcing a name (and image) change

“Without the bone it is just meat, not heaven.’’ Dario Cecchini, issuing a eulogy for Italy’s Florentine beefsteak as meat lovers prepared for Italy’s compliance with the EU decision to ban beef on the bone

Correction

The quotation “Bush pulls out of saving the planet” (PERSPECTIVES, April 9), misattributed to a headline in the British newspaper The Sun, was in fact from the Daily Mail. NEWSWEEK regrets the error.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Alma Thomas”

“We are not just shooting ourselves in the foot. We are shooting ourselves in the nose.” A senior Palestinian official, referring to the Palestinian Authority’s decision to shut down the West Bank and Gaza offices of the popular pan-Arab television station Al-Jazeera

“You would have to slaughter the whole country.” Ben Gill, president of Britain’s National Farmers’ Union, proposing the only way to entirely eliminate the risk of foot-and-mouth disease

“I really hate jaywalkers… Since I don’t run the country, all I can do is yell at ’em. The other option is to run ’em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that.” Conservative American pundit and notorious road-rager Robert Novak

“On a scale of one to 10, I’ll give him a 20. I wish every man were so gay.” Ricky Martin’s girlfriend, model Ines Misan, mocking persistent questions about the singer’s sexuality

“Dogs are dogs. They do the same thing everywhere… It’s just that there are no dogs in China because they eat them.” Claude Bebear, president of Paris’s bid to host the 2008 Olympics, on China’s allegation that rabid dogs make the city too dangerous and dirty. China has been lobbying to have the Games held in Beijing.

“Come on over to Pennsylvania. We’ll leave the lights on for you.” Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, in his budget address, opening his state’s doors to companies being hit hard by the electricity shortages in California

“Mr. Prime Minister, you didn’t think you were going to be the prime minister, and you probably darn sure didn’t think I was going to be president.” President George W. Bush, speaking to Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon during their meeting last week

“If people don’t like our culture, then they should stay at home.” An elderly resident of Salt Lake City, Utah, complaining about plans to relax local liquor laws in order to make the city more attractive to visitors to the 2002 Winter Olympics

“How else would a person feel when he sees his house burn down in front of his eyes?” Former Russian cosmonaut Gennady Strekalov, explaining his teary eyes after watching the Mir space station burn up over the South Pacific

“If you don’t behave… I’ll make Columbine look like a picnic.” Frank Craig, a teacher at Homedale High School in Colorado, warning his students before leaving them in the charge of a substitute teacher

“I can’t believe it. Now anyone can squash our beloved dogs flat.” Frank Kussel, of the German Dachshund Club, after a Berlin judge ruled that the little sausage-style pets “do not provide [motorists with] a reason to perform a dangerous braking maneuver”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Crystal Adams”

“It sounds like we were trespassing. These things can happen when you act dumb.“Alexa Vega, 12-year-old star of “Spy Kids,” on the real-life spy drama in China

“When I look at the prism of life and I notice that the guy in the Viagra commercial is about 10 years younger than I am, that is not very settling.” NBC’s Tom Brokaw to Katie Couric, who responded that he was “still a stud muffin”

“The time we are going to pop the cork will be the day the president of the United States signs the bill.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, refusing to celebrate the passing of his campaign-finance reform until the bill makes it through the House and the president

“Some would say that [uncertainty] makes the whole effort futile. I think it just tells you something about the kind of elections equipment we have.” Mark Seibel, Miami Herald managing editor, on the Herald-Knight Ridder-USA Today study finding that Bush would have won the presidency under some standards while Gore would have won under another standard

“I’m very upset. In fact, I’m on heavy medication.” Brad Freeman, a Bush family friend, on the disappearance of Ernie, the Bushes’ cat. Ernie had been living with Freeman because the First Family feared he would scratch up the White House furniture.

“Elephants are my favorites.” Jillian Blair, a Dallas 4-year-old who brought a 4,100-pound elephant in for show-and-tell. Her grandfather, who works with performing animals, made the arrangements.

“HBO says it’s an original series, and that’s why we brought an original lawsuit.” Attorney Enrico J. Mirabelli, on suing Time Warner for its portrayal of Italian-Americans in its HBO hit “The Sopranos”

“The press has a right to communicate what goes on in an execution chamber.” Derek Newman, an attorney for Entertainment Network Inc., a Florida-based Internet company suing for the right to air the execution of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh

“Everyone says, ‘Oh my gosh, how could you do that to your kid?’ " Jason Curiel, a Corpus Christi, Texas, man who named his baby ESPN (pronounced Es-pen), after the sports network

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Marta Moore”

“I’m like an expensive menu. You can look at it, but you can’t afford it.” Tennis star Anna Kournikova, on her demanding standards for would-be suitors

“He doesn’t make that many.” First Lady Laura Bush, asked if she gets annoyed with her husband’s errors in grammar

“There’s a lot of stress involved when your house is underwater.” Wisconsin Gov. Scott McCallum, slogging through the flooded streets of Prairie du Chien after the Mississippi River overflowed its banks

“I want people in Israel to continue to go out. But be careful.” Tel Aviv designer Galit Levi, on the outfit he recently made for 18-year-old Miss Israel, Hamit Levy, to wear in the Miss Universe pageant in May. She will sport a diamond-studded bulletproof jacket over her evening gown.

“Recount’s over. Go away!” President George W. Bush’s recount attorney Ben Ginsberg, responding to questions about his client’s unpaid legal bills from the Florida court battles

“I called Nixon some pretty choice things and never had something like this happen.” Margaret Richards, who found Secret Service agents on her doorstep after she sent a scathing e-mail to a Florida state representative, Gov. Jeb Bush and the president

“We think beer is a celebration of life and we’re looking for poems that fit that theme.” S. J. Klein, the director of Alaska’s Borealis Brewery, on putting poems on beer bottles in celebration of National Poetry Month

“You can’t have a trade summit these days without tear gas; it would be like having a cheeseburger without cheese.” A senior Bush administration official, on the clashes between anti-globalization protesters and police that delayed the opening ceremonies of the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City on Friday

“The atmosphere in our stations can be an interesting collection of odors reflecting all aspects of London life.” London Underground service director Mike Brown, on the city’s move to introduce a new perfume to mask the odors at certain stations

“We want to send a message that this kind of behavior won’t be tolerated.” Police Chief Tom Frank of Cedarburg, Wisconsin, on asking the district attorney to file disorderly-conduct charges against two students who started a food fight at a local high school last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Lucille Cornelia”

“We are waiting for a broad-based government and a total solution for the country.” Amin Siddiqi, Northern Alliance Foreign Ministry spokesman, on establishing a new government for Afghanistan

“Considering the circumstances, the Taliban always treated us well.” Christian aid worker Heather Mercer, held hostage by the Taliban for three months

“Our countries have stopped hating each other.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, on Russian-American relations

“This is like the aftershock of an earthquake. Just when you’re getting comfortable, another plane falls out of the sky.” New York Congressman Anthony D. Weiner, on American Airlines Flight 587, which crashed in the beach neighborhood of Rockaway

“There is a deliberate operation to undermine this precarious democracy.” Peruvian President Alejandro Toledo, in response to an alleged plot to destabilize his country’s government

“As far as we’re concerned, William’s the world’s most desirable bachelor, with an enormous female following. We have a duty to keep people informed as to his daily activities.” Jodi Lapoint, spokeswoman for the American magazine Seventeen, on reports that a classmate of the English prince’s is providing the publication with accounts of William’s life at St. Andrews University

“It’s unprecedented. Any studio would be happy to have a $31 million weekend for a new movie, and here they’ve got a single day at that level.” Paul Dergarabedian, president of U.S. box-office tracker Exhibitor Relations, on opening-day revenue for “Harry Potter”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Jo Clark”

“Even Osama bin Laden’s soul could be saved if he converted to Christianity, but he still would deserve to be killed.” Jerry Falwell, to the Florida Baptist Pastors’ Conference

“Two words: who cares? The American people are more concerned about our nation’s security and economy than any umpteenth recount of an election that was decided over a year ago.” Katie Baur, spokeswoman for Gov. Jeb Bush, on public apathy at the results of the media analysis of Florida’s Election 2000 ballots

“We just need the one who wants peace and stability in the country. We just want that one.” Kabul resident Murad Mohd, on who should govern Afghanistan

“After deeper reflection, I realize I cannot plead guilty when I know I am not.” Sara Jane Olson, filing a petition to withdraw her plea after insisting that she wanted to plead guilty to bombing two police cars in 1976

“This is still an experiment.” Surgeon Laman Gray, after Robert Tools, the first recipient of a self-contained artificial heart, suffered a stroke

“This is like the aftershock of an earthquake. Just when you’re getting comfortable, another plane falls out of the sky.” Queens Congressman Anthony D. Weiner, on American Airlines Flight 587’s crash in the New York beach neighborhood of Belle Harbor

“Any person who goes hither and thither is like a slaughtered chicken which falls and dies. You should regroup yourselves, resist and fight.” Mullah Mohammed Omar, on Taliban troops’ reaction to the Northern Alliance’s first victories

“We no longer have to intimidate each other to reach agreements.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, on his agreement with President George W. Bush to cut down on nuclear weapons

“War is a matter of relative evils. We’re not legally responsible for this and we’re probably not going to be able to physically stop it, either.” Retired Gen. Wesley Clark, on Northern Alliance brutality

“I’ve been trying to tame our press corps ever since I got into politics, and I’ve failed miserably.” George W. Bush, on freedom of the press

“I don’t think it’s productive for me to get into sticker discussions.” Jonathan Franzen, on whether the next cover of his novel “The Corrections” will feature a National Book Award seal. Franzen had protested the appearance of an Oprah’s Book Club emblem on the cover.

“If the New York delegation takes that pitiful fig leaf that the White House offered them and goes out with it in public, they’ll be arrested for indecent exposure.” Wisconsin Rep. David Obey, on federal aid to the city. Obey’s additional $7 billion package was rejected last week.

“It’s just so difficult to tie her two legs together for the roasting pan.” Gossip columnist Liz Smith, at a roast honoring famously sexy food critic Gael Greene, founder of Citymeals-on-Wheels

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Gary Daniels”

“You know, enough’s enough.” Mets fan Chris McGlynn, who lost his Wall Street job as a sales trader after the World Trade Center attack, on the prospect of the Yankees’ winning yet another World Series

“Dogs used to be the worst thing we worried about on this job.’’ D.C. mailman Tony Jackson, on the growing number of postal workers found to have been exposed to anthrax

“I gave him a very strong handshake. I’m not a hugger, I guess.’’ Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott, on embraces between George W. Bush and top Democrats–but not Republicans–after the president’s address to a joint session of Congress last month

“It’s our little way of revenge.’’ Stephanie Andrews, 17, on volunteering at a Jaycees haunted house in Florida that features as its climax the “execution” of a teen dressed as Osama bin Laden

“I certainly hope that the people who were parachuting in don’t find the person.’’ Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on the unidentified Defense official who leaked classified information about last week’s commando raids to the American media, possibly endangering soldiers

“It’s incredibly positive for the Internet.’’ America Online, Inc. president Raymond Oglethorpe, on the anthrax attacks by mail. He quickly added that the attacks were “unfortunate.”

“If we want to bring peace and unity, all sectors of society must be represented, and the Taliban happen to be one important sector at the moment.” Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, on political alternatives to the war in Afghanistan

“If I have a problem, we change the product.” Bill Gates, promoting Windows XP, on where he turns for tech support

“I had no choice.’’ Bernadine Healy, on why she resigned as head of the Red Cross in the wake of disagreements among the organization’s board members over how to distribute money to World Trade Center victims

“I don’t have anthrax.’’ George W. Bush, on spores that showed up in a building that processes mail for the White House

“It is never my intention to make anyone uncomfortable or cause anyone conflict.’’ Oprah Winfrey, on Jonathan Franzen’s complaints about his book “The Corrections” being selected for her book club. Winfrey rescinded her offer for Franzen to appear on her show.

“It doesn’t matter that America is not my country. New York is my city.’’ Kazakhstan immigrant Alexandr Manin, on why he joined the U.S. military despite not being an American citizen

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Jaqueline Neri”

“I stopped berating the tax cut and started praying that the president would rise to lead us.” Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton, writing in Talk magazine about her reaction to the attacks

“I guess it’ll be whether or not I can get that $8 million advance.” First Lady Laura Bush, on what it would take for her to write a book, as did predecessor Hillary Clinton, who got a hefty sum for her own memoir

“The Taliban can do many things, but they can’t take away Hollywood’s creativity. Only the network executives can do that.” Ellen DeGeneres, on war, innovation and the TV business

“I can’t stand that I am counting the days.” New York City Fire Commissioner Thomas Van Essen, who has been both praised and vilified in the wake of the attacks, on his decision not to seek reappointment

“We are moving through, one neighborhood at a time.” Northern Alliance spokesman Ashraf Nadeem, on the capture of Mazar-e Sharif

“I wish to declare that if America used chemical or nuclear weapons against us, we may retort with chemical and nuclear weapons.” Osama bin Laden, in an interview with pro-Taliban newspaper Ausaf

“I’m inclined to suspect they don’t have nuclear weapons yet, or they would have used them already.” Massachusetts Rep. Edward J. Markey, on Al Qaeda’s repeated attempts to obtain the weapons

“We all want to do something, show our appreciation, our support. I think we can.” Connor Geraghty, 14, whose firefighter father was killed in the WTC disaster, in an e-mail petition to designate September 11 as National Firefighters Day. He signed the e-mail “I Love u DAD.”

“The same thing that happened at the World Trade Center has hit me. I was terrorized by the Frederick News-Post.” Frederick, Md., Mayor Jim Grimes, on the newspaper’s campaign for access to a local madam’s seized list of clients, which Grimes had tried to throw away

“When I look around I see no mosque, or fat, bald guys with bowls in their laps. I see churches.” Martinsville, Ind., Assistant Police Chief Dennis Nail, on why he supports Christian prayer in schools

“We are driven by money. We like billionaires.” Mitchell Moss, adviser to New York City Mayor-elect Michael Bloomberg, on the city that elected him

“In baseball, you don’t know nothing.” Yankee legend Yogi Berra, reprising one of his many quotable quotes in an editorial on the team’s loss in the final inning of the World Series

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Geraldine Trevino”

“Anyone who assists the United States is liable to be killed.” Taliban official Abdul Hanan Himat, announcing the execution of Abdul Haq, a key opposition figure who was reportedly rallying anti-Taliban support in Afghanistan

“The war against communism took 50 years to win, and I wonder if we shouldn’t be thinking of it like that.” Adm. Sir Michael Boyce, Britain’s chief of defense staff, on fears of a prolonged military involvement in Afghanistan

“We don’t have the answers.” American Homeland Security head Tom Ridge, on who is behind the anthrax attacks and how they obtained the pathogen

“Dogs used to be the worst thing we worried about on this job.’’ Washington,D.C., mailman Tony Jackson, on the growing number of postal workers found to be exposed to anthrax

“If I have a problem, we change the product.” Bill Gates, promoting Windows XP, on where he turns for tech support

“All sectors of society must be represented, and the Taliban happen to be one important sector at the moment.” Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf, on political alternatives to the war in Afghanistan

“How can Nigerian soldiers destroy a government building in Nigeria?” Nancy Ijih, a local government employee in eastern Nigeria, after soldiers went on a rampage killing several hundred people in a revenge attack for the murder of 19 soldiers earlier this month

“We don’t ask for ID at the mosque.” Salah Mansour, a worshiper at the Al-Salam mosque in New Jersey, made famous by 1993 World Trade Center bombing mastermind Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, on the presence of terrorists

“It’s like a torpedo of muscle five feet in diameter.” University of Chicago paleontologist Paul C. Sereno, on the discovery of a 40-foot crocodile fossil dating back 110 million years

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Percy Ellison”

“Last night was a night dreams are made of. But tonight? Wow. You don’t even dream that.” Yankees reliever Mike Stanton, on his team’s second straight World Series comeback with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning

“He told us that he felt for our losses.” FDNY Lt. Jim McGlynn, on a man accused of stealing donations while impersonating a firefighter

“The film is about the triumph of good over evil, and that is what people want right now.’’ British actor Robbie Coltrane, on the timing of the “Harry Potter” movie, in which he plays a friendly giant

“They don’t make anything.’’ New York City mayoral candidate Michael Bloomberg, on why his opponents have an easier time releasing their personal income-tax returns than he does

“I just pray there isn’t an aviation disaster before they get it worked out.” Illinois Rep. Greg Ganske, on differences between the House and Senate airline-security bills

“If I were the Defense minister of America, I could use his weapons better than he.’’ Northern Alliance Deputy Defense Minister Atiqullah Baryalai, on U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

“We did see some cows that contracted anthrax in the San Jose area and again in the San Diego area. The FBI is checking that out.’’ California Gov. Gray Davis, on what terrorism, aside from last week’s bridge threats, might look like on the West Coast

“The people there are dead because we wanted them dead.” Unnamed Pentagon official, on the bombing of an Afghan village suspected of harboring Al Qaeda members

“Nothing dampens consumer confidence and spending like job losses, even if you aren’t the one losing your job.” Economist Bill Cheney, on the 5.4 percent unemployment rate, the highest in five years

“I don’t think it can be viewed as anything but a win for Microsoft.” Business analyst Drew Brosseau, on the deal reached by the software giant and the Justice Department that will restrict some of the company’s business practices but leave it intact

“We have a big question mark out there.” Public-health expert D. A. Henderson, on how hospital worker Kathy Nguyen contracted anthrax

MAYOR GIULIANI, LET US BRING OUR BROTHERS HOME. Sign carried by one of hundreds of firefighters marching in protest of cutbacks in the number of personnel assigned to search and recovery at Ground Zero

CORRECTION

On our Nov. 12 Perspectives page, we quoted U.S. Rep. Greg Ganske and failed to identify him properly; he is from Iowa.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Stacy Malbon”

“[The September 11 attacks] were perpetrated by a cult of fanatics who had self-mutilated their ears and tongues, and could only communicate with perceived opponents through carnage and devastation.” Iranian President Mohammed Khatami, in an interview with The New York Times

“I saw the towers collapse but felt nothing for the Americans inside. I may hold an American passport, but I am not an American–I am a Muslim.” Pakistani-American Mohammad Junaid, 26, who left the United States a week after the World Trade Center attack to fight for the Taliban. His mother was on the ninth floor of the World Trade Center when the attack took place and was led to safety by New York City firefighters

“The Taliban can do many things, but they can’t take away Hollywood’s creativity. Only the network executives can do that.” Comedian Ellen DeGeneres, on war, innovation and the TV business

“Just getting the facts straight is monumentally difficult. We don’t want to have to wonder if we are saluting properly.” MSNBC president Erik Sorenson, on accusations that the American media have been unpatriotic

“As usual he did things his own way. Even in dying, he did a really good job.” Zane Kesey, son of Ken Kesey, ’60s icon and author of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” who died of complications from diabetes on Nov. 10

“I guess it’ll be whether I can get that $8 million advance.” Laura Bush, on what it would take for her to write a book, referring to former First Lady Hillary Clinton’s advance on her own memoir

“We are driven by money. We like billionaires.” Mitchell Moss, adviser to New York City Mayor-elect Michael Bloomberg, on the city that elected him

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Gary Blackwell”

Mayor Giuliani, let us bring our brothers home. Sign carried by one of hundreds of firefighters marching in protest of cutbacks in the number of personnel assigned to search and recovery at Ground Zero

“If this isn’t about Islam, why the worldwide Muslim demonstrations in support of Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda?” Salman Rushdie, questioning the Muslim community’s assertion that the actions of Osama bin Laden have nothing to do with their religion

“If I were the defense minister of America, I could use his weapons better than he.” Northern Alliance Deputy Defense Minister Atiqullah Baryalai, on U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

“The film is about the triumph of good over evil, and that is what people want right now.” British actor Robbie Coltrane, on the timing of the “Harry Potter” movie, in which he plays a friendly giant

“I can take 10 men out to lunch and pay the bill and nobody even thinks twice about it. So don’t mess with me.” Indian writer Arundhati Roy, on her status as a millionaire

“I don’t think it can be viewed as anything but a win for Microsoft.” Business analyst Drew Brosseau, on the deal reached by the software giant and the Justice Department that will restrict some of the company’s business practices but leave it intact

“Because stars are used to being the focus of attention, they tend to feel more anxious than the rest of us, who can take comfort in anonymity.” Alan Hilfer, senior psychologist at Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y., on celebrities taking cover because of terrorist threats

Bang all your strength on America’s head. Sign for a game at a carnival in Iran celebrating the 22d anniversary of the takeover of the American Embassy after the Islamic revolution

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Vanesa Lovell”

“[This] started when Dick Cheney, a few months back, said we’re in a recession… I mean, we’ve been talking ourselves into this.” House Democratic leader Dick Gephardt, arguing that the Bush administration’s gloomy view of the nation’s economic status has had an impact on the already nervous financial markets

“This is the final nail in a lot of people’s coffins.” Angus Stovold, a Surrey cattleman, on the foot-and-mouth disease ravaging England

“I’ve got one politician in the family, and that’s enough.” Former president Bill Clinton, in Copenhagen, denying reports that he will run for mayor of New York City

“Playing the sax didn’t get me any action. I had to master other concepts and other skills for that.” Saxophonist Branford Marsalis, on how he became a player

“John Quincy Adams: the only son of a president to serve as president himself.” An obviously neglected page on the White House Web site

“There was a spatter mark every three or four inches.” Guy Dansie, environmental scientist with the Central Utah Public Health Department, on the dime-size dollops of dung that mysteriously rained from the sky over Sevier County

“This is what happens when you stack the administration with oil, gas and coal guys.” The Environmental Working Group’s John Coequyt, on Bush’s decision not to regulate power plants’ emissions of carbon dioxide–a possible cause of global warming

“Dunn’s Bakery.” Words mentioned in a Syracuse, N.Y., junior high school. A student misheard the conversation and notified administrators that classmates were talking about guns, causing the principal to seal off one wing of the school and search students’ lockers.

PUT THE KIDS TO BED AND GLUE DOWN THE CHAIRS, KNIGHT TIME IS COMING. T shirts for sale at Texas Tech, a school interviewing controversial men’s basketball coach Bobby Knight, who was fired from Indiana last September for violating a zero-tolerance policy on misconduct

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-22” author: “Betty Pratt”

“He was one of us.” Russian newspaper Komsomolskaya Pravda, on President Vladimir Putin as a child. Several of his school report cards were discovered last week, showing him to be just an average student.

“On this road, there is such a thing as a point of no return.” Col. Gen. Leonid Ivashov, head of the Russian Defense Ministry’s inter-national cooperation department, on U.S. threats to violate the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty by deploying a missile-defense system

“When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s hard to remember that your job was to drain the swamp.” A Western diplomat in Pristina, commenting on the ongoing crisis in Kosovo

“I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m a really nice person, and I’ve found Jesus.” British citizen Steven Handy, after pleading guilty in a Spanish court to attacking an airline hostess with a vodka bottle on a flight from London to Malaga, Spain

“I want to apologize and reflect on my own work.” Chinese Prime Minister Zhu Rongji, in an astonishingly rare admission of error over a schoolhouse explosion that killed dozens of children on March 6

“This is what happens when you stack the administration with oil, gas and coal guys.” The Environmental Working Group’s John Coequyt, on President George W. Bush’s decision not to regulate power plants’ emissions of carbon dioxide–a possible cause of global warming

“He’s ended the shortest honeymoon in history.” Dan Becker, spokesman for the Sierra Club environmental lobby group, on the emissions decision

“If I don’t pass the bar this summer, at least I’ll have a good excuse.” The increasingly pregnant Karenna Gore Schiff

“I’ve got one politician in the family, and that’s enough.” Former president Bill Clinton, in Copenhagen, denying reports that he will run for mayor of New York City

“Playing the sax didn’t get me any action. I had to master other concepts and other skills for that.” Saxophonist Branford Marsalis, on how he became a ladies’ man

“John Quincy Adams: the only son of a president to serve as president himself.” A page on the White House Web site, which had clearly not been recently updated

“There was a spatter mark every three or four inches.” Guy Dansie, environmental scientist with the Central Utah Public Health Department, on the dime-size dollops of dung that mysteriously rained from the sky over Sevier County

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Ronald Miller”

“Our quarrel is not with the Iraqi people, who in many ways suffer under the yoke of Saddam Hussein.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on the need for sanctions that target the nation’s leader, not its citizens

“They’re going to wonder how you knew that, George.” Blair, after President Bush joked about the two world leaders using the same toothpaste during their meeting last week

“It stinks to high heaven.” Indiana Rep. Dan Burton, on reports that Hugh Rodham–Hillary Clinton’s brother–accepted $400,000 to lobby President Clinton for pardons

“What’s your brother up to these days?” Prince Charles, asking Bakar bin Laden about his terrorist brother Osama at a royal banquet

“Vice president of the government in exile.” Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, describing himself during an appearance in South Florida

“Unfortunately my husband is a vampire. But he’s just the right man for me–he doesn’t drink and he doesn’t beat me.” Lyudmila Putin, allegedly describing her husband–Russian President Vladimir–in a new book written by her best friend

“I think we were robbed.” Producer of the Year Dr. Dre, on his protege, Eminem, being passed over for album of the year. Although Eminem took home three awards, the most prestigious honor went to veteran rockers Steely Dan.

“I miss my father, and I cried for him out of my own selfish pity. We just have to remember he’s in a better place.” Dale Earnhardt Jr., on the death of his racing-legend father during the Daytona 500

“I’m getting tired of [George Bush’s] picture on the front page. He kisses everybody that gets within reach. I think it was because of his success with Oprah.” Frequent presidential candidate and former senator Eugene McCarthy

“I like my flat little belly.” Julia Roberts, on why she’s not ready to settle down and have kids with boyfriend Benjamin Bratt

“If you see anyone here well-dressed tonight, it’s a parking attendant.” Joan Rivers, bemoaning this year’s unexceptional Grammy fashions

“In due time.” Serbian Justice Minister Vladan Batic, when asked whether Saturday’s arrest of former secret-police chief Rade Markovic would lead to the arrest of Slobodan Milosevic. Markovic’s alleged involvement in several political killings carries the possible penalty of death.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Catherine Cooper”

“One House down, and now the Senate to go.” President George W. Bush, on the House of Representatives’ passing his $958 billion tax- cut plan

“My assessment after a few weeks of this Congress is that bipartisanship is over.” House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt, lamenting the lack of compromise in discussions about cutting taxes

“It sounds like this individual was not 100 percent in recovery.” Steven Sigman, spokesman for Narcotics Anonymous Worldwide, on an anti-drug motivational speaker busted for picking up a shipment containing 53 pounds of marijuana. Police searched his house and found 48 pounds more.

“I don’t intend to do any more work with the Spice Girls… It doesn’t really feel that natural to me anymore.” Melanie Chisholm, a.k.a. Sporty Spice, a.k.a. Mel C. The Spice Girls’ publicist insists that the band has not broken up, although it is on hiatus while the four remaining members pursue solo careers.

“If we have an accident, it will be 49-49.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, noting that her upcoming Harley ride with Republican Colorado Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell does not threaten the balance in the U.S. Senate

“You can achieve more, can get more, but because of your little minds, you cannot get what you are expected to get.” President Daniel arap Moi of Kenya,addressing a Nairobi women’s seminar last Tuesday

“The kids let out an ‘ooh’ sound.” Kenosha, Wisconsin, resident James Twomey, parent of a third grader who was shown a pornographic film in class. A janitor had accidentally left the tape in a school VCR, and the teacher didn’t notice until after pressing play.

“Girls don’t do things like this.” James McGee, author of the study “Classroom Avenger,” on the 14-year-old girl charged in last week’s Pennsylvania school shooting

“If you’re in the bathroom, you’ve got to take your gun belt off.” Pat Davis, police chief in Uwchlan, Pennsylvania, about an officer who accidentally left his weapon in a middle-school bathroom

“All of them.” Ninety-eight-year-old South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, when asked how many inaugurations he’s attended

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Jill Bullock”

“I did not have any involvement in the pardons that were granted or not granted, and I’m just very disappointed about my brother’s involvement.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, responding to the allegations

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” President George Bush, touting his education-reform plans

I think we were robbed.” Producer of the year Dr. Dre, on his protege Eminem’s being passed over for album of the year. Although Marshall Mathers took home three awards, the most prestigious honor went to veteran rockers Steely Dan.

“If you see anyone here well dressed tonight, it’s a parking attendant.” Joan Rivers, bemoaning this year’s unexceptional Grammy fashions

“Vice president of the government in exile.” Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, describing himself during an appearance in south Florida

“I miss my father and I cried for him out of my own selfish pity. We just have to remember he’s in a better place.” Dale Earnhardt Jr., on the death of his racing-legend father during the Daytona 500

“Our quarrel is not with the Iraqi people, who in many ways suffer under the yoke of Saddam Hussein.” England’s Prime Minister Tony Blair, on the need for sanctions that target the nation’s leader, not its citizens

“I’m getting tired of [George Bush’s] picture on the front page. He kisses everybody that gets within reach. I think it was because of his success with Oprah.” Frequent presidential candidate and former senator Eugene McCarthy

“This was never a relationship. This was a bad TV show. That’s all it was.” “Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire’s” Darva Conger, during a joint TV appearance with her TV groom Rick Rockwell

“I like my flat little belly.” Julia Roberts, on why she’s not ready to settle down and have kids with boyfriend Benjamin Bratt

“[James Parker] is a boy. This case is a long way from resolution.” Douglas Brown, attorney for the younger of the two teenagers charged with killing two Dartmouth professors. Brown hopes his 16-year-old client will be charged as a juvenile.

“You’re all gonna have to wrassle me.” A drunken, naked Wisconsin man stopped by cops for “lewd and lascivious” behavior

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Amanda Feller”

“We are trying to uncover whether or not there was any quid pro quo. We haven’t been able to do that yet because the witnesses aren’t testifying.” Georgia Rep. Bob Barr, on Democratic Party fund-raiser Beth Dozoretz’s taking the Fifth when asked about her role in Bill Clinton’s controversial pardon of Marc Rich. Denise Rich, the fugitive financier’s ex-wife, is expected to also refuse to answer questions.

“The president is the president, sir.” Beth Nolan, Clinton’s White House counsel, on why he granted the Rich pardon despite opposition from top aides

“Seattle is shaken, not stirred.” City historian Walt Crowley, on Seattle’s relatively calm response to the 6.8 earthquake. Damage estimates top $2 billion, but only 250 people were injured, and no one was killed.

“We are witnesses once again to our own inefficacy.” The United Nations’ Koichiro Matsuura, on the organization’s last-minute attempts to persuade the Taliban to spare two Buddha statues in Afghanistan. The government has deemed the statues “gods of the infidels.”

“It wasn’t really a big deal.” William Bridges, the 18-year-old college student who claimed he was Jenna Bush’s boyfriend when police picked him up for public intoxication. Jail officials say he used his mobile phone to call the First Daughter and that Secret Service agents arrived and bailed him out.

“It pretty well demolished the plane. There’s pieces scattered around the field.” Van Peavy, sheriff for Dooly County, Ga., on the Florida National Guard plane that crashed, killing all 21 people aboard

“Speedo Man is pretty exciting.” Annapolis, Md., resident Gill Cochran, on a local cult figure who jogs in just the notoriously brief swimsuits. Even in winter.

“I can’t allow Jennifer Lopez dresses.” Diane McMillan, principal of Ottawa Hills High School in Grand Rapids, Mich., on the prom-dress code forbidding midriff-baring gowns

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Juan Mcintosh”

“My assessment after a few weeks of this Congress is that bipartisanship is over.” House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt, lamenting the lack of compromise in discussions about cutting taxes

“He was doing jumping jacks yesterday.” Bush, downplaying Vice President Dick Cheney’s stress-related heart problems

“What we have to be judged by is the work we try to do. It’s public service, not perfect service.” The Rev. Jesse Jackson, facing allegations about financial improprieties in the nonprofitorganizations he runs

“That face isn’t Andy’s.” Kathleen Seek, former girlfriend of Charles Andrew Williams. Williams allegedly opened fire in California’s Santana High School, killing two and wounding 13.

“It sounds like this individual was not 100 percent in recovery.“Steven Sigman, spokesman for Narcotics Anonymous Worldwide, on an anti-drug speaker busted for picking up a shipment containing 53 pounds of marijuana. Police found 48 pounds more at his house.

“I don’t intend to do any more work with the Spice Girls… It doesn’t really feel that natural to me anymore.” Melanie Chisholm, a.k.a. Sporty Spice, a.k.a. Mel C. The Spice Girls’s publicist insists that the band has not broken up, although it is on hiatus while the four remaining members pursue solo careers

“If we have an accident, it will be 49-49.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, noting that her upcoming Harley ride with Republican Colorado Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell will not threaten the balance in the Senate

“The kids let out an ‘ooh’ sound.” Kenosha, Wis., resident James Twomey, parent of a third grader who was shown a pornographic film in class. A janitor had accidentally left the tape in a school VCR, and the teacher didn’t notice until after pressing play.

“Girls don’t do things like this.” James McGee, author of the study “Classroom Avenger,” on the 14-year-old girl charged in last week’s central Pennsylvania school shooting

“All of them.” South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, when asked how many inaugurations he’s attended

“If you’re in the bathroom, you’ve got to take your gun belt off.” Pat Davis, police chief in Uwchlan, Pa., about an officer who accidentally left his weapon in a middle-school bathroom

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Elaine Guttirez”

“It isn’t what they would have chosen for him.” Bill Jones, a family friend of American John Walker, on the reaction of Walker’s parents after learning that their son had been fighting alongside the Taliban

“Jihad is like a cancer. Nobody can cure it, nobody can help you.” Injured Taliban fighter Abdul Rahman, offering a metaphor for the struggle he wishes to rejoin as soon as possible

“The Americans are on your side, and they give you everything. Who gave you the airplanes? The Americans. Who gave you the tanks? The Americans.” Yasir Arafat, speaking on Israeli TV, on American favoritism toward Israel

“Oh, come on… I’m pushing 70 years old.” U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, when asked by Larry King if he likes being considered a “sex symbol”

“Now that the U.S. makes desperate efforts to unleash a war of aggression against [North] Korea, it is fully ready to react to the war with a war of justice.” State-run North Korean newspaper Minju Joson, in a commentary reacting to a warningfrom President Bush to discontinue producing weapons of mass destruction

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Cheryl Coleman”

“The attack on Pearl Harbor was plotted in secrecy, waged without mercy. Out of that surprise attack grew a steadfast resolve that made America freedom’s defender, and that mission–our great calling–continues to this hour… in Afghanistan.” President George W. Bush, marking the 60th anniversary of Pearl Harbor aboard the USS Enterprise

“I appreciate every one of you, especially you ladies. You are good-looking. God bless you.” South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, to congressional colleagues on his 99th birthday

“I’m running… it was a very difficult decision for me.” California Rep. Gary Condit, announcing he will run for re-election despite the controversy surrounding his role in the disappearance of intern Chandra Levy

“He was an all-right dude. I’m really shocked that he could have done this.” Josh Bryant, a neighbor of Robert Wissman’s, who apparentlyopened fire in the Goshen, Ind., factory where he worked, killing the plant manager and wounding six co-workers before committing suicide

“We had greater freedom of coverage of Soviet military operations in Afghanistan than we had at Camp Rhino.” Walt Rodgers, senior international correspondent for CNN, on press restrictions last week inside Afghanistan

“It is now time for the Lord to raise up someone to take my place.” Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, announcing plans to step down as president–a move many pundits say sounds the death knell for the organization

“This report represents real people and real pain, especially around the holidays. And the pain is being spread throughout the economy and throughout the country.” Bill Cheney, chief economist with John Hancock Financial Services, on news that the unemployment rate has jumped to 5.7 percent

“I think our responsibility–the president’s and mine, as the current residents–is to err on the side of safety and caution.” First Lady Laura Bush, on the decision to close the White House to public tours during the holidays

“The idea that there is one people in possession of the truth, one answer to the world’s ills or one solution to humanity’s needs has done untold harm throughout history.” United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan, in his speech on receiving the 2001 Nobel Peace Prize

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-22” author: “Joann Howell”

“When you use those words, ‘mystique’ and ‘aura,’ those are dancers in a nightclub. Those are not things we concern ourselves [with] on the ball field.” Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Curt Schilling, before facing, and eventually beating, the legendary New York Yankees in the World Series

“Because we don’t believe in witchcraft.” Sister Marie de Montfort Breaux, principal of St. Augustine Elementary School in Memphis, on why the school library banned the “Harry Potter” books and told kids not to see the movie

“Not bad for the widowed mother of four, who started her career at the top, 38 years ago, in great tragedy and great trepidation.” Former Washington Post executive editor Ben Bradlee, on the career of Katharine Graham, the head of The Washington Post Company, who died in July

“You cannot spin this report to make it sound positive. There is nothing positive about it.” Goldman, Sachs analyst William Dudley, on summer figures that showed unemployment hovering at 4.5 percent

“It’s a media frenzy, not a feeding frenzy.” George Burgess, director of the International Shark Attack Files at the University of Florida, on sensationalized coverage of a string of summer shark attacks

“What do you mean, they’re gone?” Julie Anderson, after escaping from her office in the World Trade Center and learning the towers had collapsed

“There are two tragedies. One is my children and the other is my wife.” Rusty Yates, whose wife, Andrea, allegedly drowned their five children in the family bathtub while suffering from postpartum depression

“The pagans and the abortionists and the feminists and the gays and the lesbians … the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America, I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen’. " The Rev. Jerry Falwell, on the September 11 attacks. He later said he had been quoted out of context.

“Are you guys ready? Let’s roll.” Todd Beamer, passenger on United Flight 93, just before helping to lead an assault on the hijackers that led to the crash of the plane in rural Pennsylvania

“We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That’s cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it’s not cowardly.” “Politically Incorrect” host Bill Maher, in remarks that prompted several sponsors to pull their ads from the show

“Dogs used to be the worst thing we worried about on this job.” D.C. postman Tony Jackson, on anthrax by mail

“Every nation in every region now has a decision to make: either you are with us or you are with the terrorists.” George W. Bush, in a speech to a joint session of Congress

“I think it’s important to understand that we are at war now.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, defending his plans for interviews of 5,000 Arab immigrants, monitoring of attorney-client conversations without court orders and military tribunals

“We calculated in advance the number of casualties from the enemy who would be killed, based on the position of the tower … I was the most optimistic of them all.” Osama bin Laden, outlining his prior knowledge of the attacks in a videotaped meeting with supporters

“When we get the final number, it will be more than we can bear.” New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, on the number of people killed at the World Trade Center, originally estimated to be 10,000

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Pauline Deschaine”

“On the day I left, on Aug. 14, I believed the company was in strong financial condition. I wasn’t there when it came unstuck.” Former Enron chief executive Jeffrey K. Skilling, during congressional testimony about Enron’s collapse

“Mr. Berardino, I wonder if you would be prepared to spread your wisdom to the middle class of this country, the poor suckers who actually have to work hard and pay taxes.” Vermont Rep. Bernard Sanders, to Andersen CEO Joseph Berardino

“I feel like Rocky right now; I just beat Clubber Lang, Tommy Gun and Apollo Creed. Once in a while, just once in a while, the underdog wins it all.” New England Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi, about beating the St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl

“What happened on September 11 was horrific, but this patriotic fever can go too far,” American writer Norman Mailer, criticizing the swell of patriotism after the attacks in New York and Washington, D.C.

“The fact is, we know who has done it and we are very close to resolving the case. We might conclude the whole thing very soon, sooner than you think.” Mukhtar Ahmed Sheikh, head of police in Pakistan’s Sind province, on the ongoing search for kidnapped reporter Daniel Pearl

“The strangest question was, Am I worried about affecting my credibility? The doctor didn’t remove my education and experience.” Fox TV personality Greta Van Susteren, commenting on her recent cosmetic surgery

“This is now the tallest building in New York City. That’s unfortunate. That’s nothing to be proud of.” New York Road Runnerpresident and CEO Allan Steinfeld, before the start of the 25th annual Fleet Empire State Building Run-Up race

“I want to talk to the captain.” Uruguayan suspect Pablo Moreira, while trying to kick in the cockpit door of United Flight 855. He was subdued by passengers after a copilot hit him on the head with an ax.

“If people are allowed to wear bracelets that say what would Jesus do, they should be allowed to say what would satan do.” Tenth grader Ashley Williams, of Kaimuki High School in Honolulu, on the school’s ban on clothing promoting Satanism

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Joan Noel”

“Little Bush’s accusation… is baseless.” Salim al-Qubaisi, leader of Iraq’s Baath Party, responding

“We will no longer fight beyond the Green Line with the aim of dominating, expelling, starving and humiliating an entire people.” A statement signed by more than 100 Israeli reservists, refusing to further occupy the West Bank and Gaza Strip. The Green Line is the pre-1967 boundary between Israel and the Palestinian-controlled region.

“It will be the beginning of the end of democracy if soldiers don’t carry out the decisions of the… government.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, in response

“Everyone has their own reasons to be here. I’m not sure what they are.” Teenager Sean Madden, on protesting at the World Economic Forum in New York

“I wouldn’t be surprised if right now he was interviewing his captors and coming up with one hell of a story.” Glenn Drohan, kidnapped reporter Daniel Pearl’s editor at the Berkshire (Mass.) Eagle, where Pearl worked in his early 20s

“And as they gain access to weapons of increasing power–and let there be no doubt but that they are–these attacks will grow vastly more deadly than those we suffered several months ago.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, saying that America faces a continued terrorist threat

“Let’s hope they don’t jack up the price.” Population Council researcher Janneke van de Wijgert, whose company has created Carraguard, an inexpensive seaweed-derived gel capable of blocking the AIDS virus, on pharmaceutical companies who may start manufacturing the gel

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Billy Manfredi”

“Honestly speaking, we should have a skate-off. We’re not afraid. We’re ready.” Russian skater Anton Sikharulidze, to Russian news agency ITAR-Tass in response to sharing the gold with the Canadians

“I am deeply troubled about asserting these rights, because it may be perceived by some that I have something to hide.” Kenneth L. Lay, invoking his Fifth Amendment protection and declining to answer Congress’s questions on the Enron collapse

“I am sorry about your son. My son had nothing to do with it. I am sure you understand.” Frank Lindh, father of accused Taliban fighter John Walker Lindh, extending his hand to the father of slain CIA officer Johnny (Mike) Spann

“How is it that I had overall support in ‘95, ‘96 and ‘97 and now, a whole decade later, I become the object of charges none other than genocide?” Ex-Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic, at his war-crimes trial

“Racing has defined me for 25 years of my life, and I’d like to find out who I am without it. I know there’s a different person that’s going to surface, I’m excited to meet that person. I guess I’ll get introduced to her tonight.” American downhill skier Picabo Street, reflecting on life after skiing

“I would not, have not and never would use the F word.” Salt Lake Olympic boss Mitt Romney, denying reports that he’d used foul language to berate a security officer during an Olympic traffic snarl

“In my own judgment, condoms are a way to prevent infection and, therefore, I not only support their use, I encourage their use among people who are sexually active.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, in an MTV interview responding to a question about the Roman Catholic Church’s stance on condom use

“A rodent could do a lot worse than live out its life span in research facilities.” U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms, speaking about adding language in a major farm bill that would derail new protections for rats, mice and birds used in lab experiments

“How did you like your Valentine’s Day gift?” New Yorker Forest Simon, asking his ex-girlfriend by phone after allegedly mailing her his severed middle finger

“For the record, I love the job of Miss America and am 100 percent in support of the Miss America Organization.” Miss America Katie Harman, denying reports that she’s unhappy with the position

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Kevin Ford”

“I faced an individual who was basically kicking the door of the cockpit in sort of a kung-fu style.” United Flight 855 passenger Jan Boyer, on Pablo Moreira, who was hit on the head with an ax by a copilotafter damaging the cockpit door

“Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil.” A news item from SatireWire.com, spoofing the Iran-Iraq-North Korean “axis of evil” coined by President Bush

“It must be… devastating to have… people the world over now look at you in a light differently from that which they viewed you for the past 30 years for something you didn’t do.” Howard J. Weintraub, lawyer for Olympic gold medalist Olga Korbut, on his client’s innocence. More than $30,000 in counterfeit money was found in Korbut’s former home outside of Atlanta. Last week she was also arrested shoplifting.

“Now that the mujahedin have plenty of money, they prefer Toyota pickups and SUVs because, in the words of one commander, ‘Toyota is good for jihad’.” A Toyota dealer in Peshawar, on the automobile of choice for Afghan warlords, who were allegedly bought off by the United States in exchange for helping fight the Taliban

“Gulliver can’t go it alone, and I don’t think it’s helpful if we regard ourselves as so Lilliputian that we can’t speak up and say it.” EU Commissioner for External Affairs Chris Patten, arguing that EU governments should do what they can to prevent the Bush administration’s drift into “unilateralist overdrive”

“What happened on September 11 was horrific, but this patriotic fever can go too far.” American writer Norman Mailer, criticizing the swell of patriotism following the attacks in New York and Washington, D.C.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Christina Perze”

“I want to see Enron survive, and for that to happen we need someone at the helm who can focus 100 percent of his efforts on reorganizing the company.” Embattled Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, announcing his resignation

“To be in an eight- by eight-foot cell in beautiful, sunny Guantanamo Bay is not inhumane treatment.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, defending the handling of Afghan detainees at the U.S. naval base in Cuba

“He didn’t seem himself at all… He didn’t put his teeth in, for one, and he always puts his teeth in.” Scott Postell, a neighbor of Otto Nuss’s, the Pennsylvania schoolbus driver accused of kidnapping his 13 charges and taking them to Maryland. Postell says Nuss had been “very depressed and somber” all week.

“In all due modesty, it would not have happened.” Failed presidential candidate Ralph Nader, when asked how he would have responded to the September 11 attacks. Nader insists the aviation-safety reforms he’s long advocated would have prevented the assault.

“I don’t want to ‘Enron’ the people of the United States.” Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, of South Dakota, on the Bush administration’s handling of Social Security

“There are a lot of unknowns. The fact is, the tail fell off an airplane. That’s simply never happened before in modern aviation.” An American Airlines pilot who flies Airbus A300 jumbo jets like the one that crashed Nov. 12, just after takeoff from New York’s Kennedy airport. The airline’s pilots are circulating an e-mail demanding the Airbus fleet be grounded.

“If I want to sit by myself and watch football by myself with the dogs, I’m going to. I even fired up a pretzel the other day and it went down smoothly.” President George W. Bush, insisting that his choking incident will not change his routine

FREE WINONA. T shirts selling worldwide since actress Winona Ryder was arrested for allegedly swiping $5,000 worth of merchandise from the Beverly Hills, Calif., Saks Fifth Avenue

“Cannabis can be used for women to relax and de-stress without calories, in contrast to alcohol or chocolate.” A motion proposed by female members of Unison–one of Britain’s largest trade unions–calling for the legalization of marijuana because it helps women “chill out” without gaining weight

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “James Edgerton”

“Little Bush’s accusation… is baseless.” Salim al-Qubaisi, a leader of Iraq’s Baath Party, responding

“I wouldn’t be surprised if right now he was interviewing his captors and coming up with one hell of a story.” Glenn Drohan, kidnapped reporter Daniel Pearl’s editor at the Berkshire (Mass.) Eagle, where Pearl worked in his early 20s

“Some people have migraine headaches; other people get the flu. I faint every now and then.” Former attorney general and Florida gubernatorial candidate Janet Reno, on her fainting during a speech

“They just want the basics; who did Mr. Cheney meet with, when, where and at what cost to taxpayers?” GAO chief David Walker, announcing that his agency will file suit against the White House within three weeks if Vice President Dick Cheney doesn’t turn over information about his meetings with Enron execs

“Couldn’t they just move the podium?” A Bush official, on news that Attorney General John Ashcroft’s office ordered a $8,650 blue velvet curtain to cover the department’s partially nude “Spirit of Justice” statue

“If the Bush administration really thinks their energy plan includes 11 of 12 Sierra Club solutions, then Arthur Andersen must be checking their math.” Sierra Club president Carl Pope, responding to Cheney’s assertion that the group had as much input as Enron did into the Bush energy plan

“The question is, are you going to treat other kids in trouble the way you’d want your kid treated?” Ethan Nadelmann, executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, on Florida Gov. Jeb Bush’s daughter’s arrest for attempted prescription fraud

“As they gain access to weapons of increasing power–and let there be no doubt but that they are–these attacks will grow vastly more deadly than those we suffered several months ago.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, saying that America faces a continued terrorist threat

“This is making a mountain out of a whatever.” Larry Parker, principal at Atlanta’s Adairsville High School, where two students were suspended for refusing to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance

“I saw the goat the next day–it did not seem too upset, but it is difficult to tell.” A police officer in Humberside, England, who was inundated with phone calls when a trainload of commuters witnessed a man having sex with the grazing farm animal

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Sharon Joseph”

“Very, very minor.” Carol Thatcher, daughter of former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, describing her mother’s recent stroke to the BBC on Saturday

“To be in an eight- by eight-foot cell in beautiful, sunny Guantanamo Bay is not inhumane treatment.” U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, defending the handling of Qaeda and Taliban detainees in Cuba

“He had not eaten for a few days, and this morning I discovered him dead in his cage.” Zookeeper Sheragha Omar, on Marjan, the famous one-eyed lion of Kabul Zoo

“Minilateralist.” Swedish diplomat and former prime minister Carl Bildt, describingGeorge W. Bush’s foreign policy. After September 11, the U.S. president had to adapt his instinctive unilateralism to the realities of assembling an international coalition against terrorism.

“It appears that Al Qaeda members are smart people, and so for this reason alone they will not come to Iran.” Iranian reformist satirist Seyyed Ibrahim Nabavi, on why he thinks members of the terrorist network won’t seek refuge in his country. Nabavi has spent time in jail for his unorthodox beliefs.

“There are a lot of unknowns. The fact is, the tail fell off an airplane. That’s simply never happened before in modern aviation.” An American Airlines pilot who flies Airbus A300 jumbo jets like the one that crashed Nov. 12, just after takeoff from New York’s Kennedy airport. The airline’s pilots are circulating an e-mail demanding the Airbus fleet be grounded.

“If I want to sit by myself and watch football by myself with the dogs, I’m going to. Even fired up a pretzel the other day and it went down smoothly.” President George W. Bush, insisting that his choking incident will not change his routine

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Jacob Shaughnessy”

“The target list is so huge it’s almost egregious.” A source who has seen the military document outlining the U.S. plans to invade Iraq; they involve tens of thousands of soldiers attacking from the north, south and west

“No Pakistani leader has betrayed Kashmir and survived.” Yahya Mujahid, leader of the outlawed Pakistani militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba, on President Musharraf’s attempts to bar insurgents from the region in hopes of avoiding a war with neighboring India

“You’re not talking an economic market, you’re talking a fear market.” Peter Mancuso, trader for the Performance Specialty Group, speculating on the surge of the U.S. stock market on Friday. Investors attributed the sudden jump to allayed fears of a terrorist attack on Thursday, July 4, America’s Independence Day holiday.

“It was either now or never, because I was playing the two-time Wimbledon champion.” Serena Williams, on beating her older sister Venus to win the Wimbledon title

“For 27 years, we have had nothing, and now we have more than we can handle.” Mary Bossis, an international security professor at Athens University, on the uncovering of a weapons cache of the far-left terrorist group November 17. The organization, which claims to have killed 22 people, including four U.S. officials, since 1975, has eluded Greek authorities since that year.

“We begged for mercy in the name of God from them, but they held guns on us… we were helpless.” A Meerwala, Pakistan, man who was forced by a tribal court edict to watch the gang-rape of his 18-year-old daughter as punishment for his son’s romantic involvement with a woman of a higher caste

“Since we are unable to control it, we might as well regulate it.” Vijay Anand, chairman of the Central Board of Film Certification, India’s film-censoring committee, on the group’s decision to legalize pornographic movies in special theaters. The genre is so popular that theaters in many cities have found ways to skirt censorship regulations.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Edward Oliver”

“I am a member of Al Qaeda.” Zacarias Moussaoui, during a guilty plea before Judge Leonie Brinkema, who said that she would not accept his plea until he had considered it for a week

“This is an industry that is high profit, and knows about [the Americans with Disabilities Act] and is ignoring it.” Anthony Brady Jr., attorney for Edward Law, a quadriplegic man who has sued a West Palm Beach, Fla., strip club for inadequate wheelchair access to its lap-dance chambers

“I called him ‘Lucky’ because I thought I got him out of there just in time.” Sherry Scott, a Liberty, Mo., woman, on rescuing a 7-week-old kitten after a group of her neighbors attempted to grill it alive on a barbecue

“You can get rid of Harvey Pitt tomorrow, and you’re still going to have the problem.” Rep. Charles Rangel, a New York Democrat, on why firing the current chief of the Securities and Exchange Commission for previous ties to corporate businesses will not stop the current financial crisis

“[The money was spent] on lap dancing and otherentertainment.” Rep. Charles Grassley, an Iowa Republican, explaining before a House subcommittee the $38,000 bill discovered by the General Accounting Office during a probe of official U.S. Army charge cards

“And then when I get out, I will grab a sword like Maximus Meridius Demidius and as a gladiator I will stab people in the crotch.” Rep. James Traficant, an Ohio Democrat facing expulsion from Congress, referring to Russell Crowe’s character from the hit film “Gladiator,” on what his actions would be if he is incarcerated and then escapes

“It used to be the men who did the protesting… Now it is the women who have taken action. They cannot be touched.” Dennis Ojogor, resident of the Niger River Delta, on a group of hundreds of local women who, in protest of the poverty in their oil-rich area, held captive workers at a nearby ChevronTexaco terminal by threatening to remove their clothes, a practice which in Nigerian culture shames men into seeing the error of their ways

“I would define it as a betrayal of state security.” A spokesman for Israeli police in response to charges that a group of six Israeli settlers, five of them soldiers, sold thousands of rounds of stolen Army ammunition to Palestinian militants

CORRECTION We attributed a July 29 perspectives quote to Rep. Charles Grassley of Iowa. He is, in fact, a senator.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Rich Petrucci”

White House physician Dr. Richard Tubbs, on preparations for the colonoscopy performed on President George W. Bush last Saturday

“This could threaten U.S.-Thai relations… I guarantee it.” Boonsom Watanapanee, deputy consul general of the Royal Thai Consulate in New York, on an ad for a restaurant in Philadelphia that depicted the Thai king, Bhumibol Adulyadej, as a hipster with dyed hair. The restaurant, Saint Jack’s, was named after a Paul Theroux novel about an American living in Asia.

“It is a private collection of weapons. Zog had them in a corner of his house in Johannesburg.” Fluturak Germenji, press adviser to the family of Albania’s former king Zog, on the 84 weapons, which included Kalashnikovs and grenades, seized from the late monarch’s son, Leka, as he returned to Albania after 20 years of exile in South Africa

“[This is] a flagrant violation of the ceasefire agreement which we will never overlook.” South Korean President Kim Dae Jung, on the North Korean Navy boat that entered the South’s waters and, after ignoring a South Korean patrol boat’s demands to leave, fired at the vessel, sinking it and killing four sailors

“My heart was bumping.” Nikoloz Tskitishvili, seven-foot, 19-year-old native of the Republic of Georgia, on being picked No. 5 in the 2002 National Basketball association draft by the Denver Nuggets

“We have sought an explanation from him, and if advised by the government we may take action.” Pakistan Tennis Federation president Syed Dilawar Abbas, rebuking tennis player Aisamul Haq Qureshi for partnering with an Israeli at a Wimbledon match

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Martin Eldreth”

“I want my friends to eat me. I want to be fed through a wood chipper, spread over a wheat field, then have a cake baked from the crop for all my pals to munch on.” Actor Larry Hagman, on his wishes for his body after his death

“Elderly people keep calling my offices wondering where to hide.” Sen. Jim Inhofe, on his constituents’ nervous reaction to the federal government’s decision to consider transporting high-level nuclear waste to Nevada’s Yucca Mountains via highways and railroads in Oklahoma and 40 other states

“When it comes to his own records, the motto is: ‘The buck stops over there’.” Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe, on President Bush’s tough new stance on corporate practices given his past business transactions

“Jerry was never affiliated with Scientology. He’s Jewish.” Jerry Seinfeld spokeswoman Elizabeth Clark, responding to accounts in a biography about the comic that he spent several years closely following the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard

“We will learn from this. This will never happen again.” Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, on the 2002 all-star game, which ended in a tie after both teams exhausted their bullpens

“That Dan, you just can’t predict him.” Candice Bergen, on Dan Quayle’s recently expressed enthusiasm for the moral values presented by MTV’s hit show “The Osbournes”

“We don’t think those are appropriate issues to deal with on the air through a television program that targets children.” Robert Knezevic, head of Sesame Workshop’s international division, on why episodes of the show’s South Africa edition that feature an HIV-positive Muppet will not also deal with virus-transmission issues like sexual contact or drug abuse

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Nicole Cyree”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Kenneth Adkisson”

“My heart was bumping.” Nikoloz Tskitishvili, seven-foot 19-year-old native of the Republic of Georgia, on being picked No. 5 in the 2002 NBA draft by the Denver Nuggets

“Oh, I would love to put this one up their bottom… this is the time I have been waiting for for just a few years.’’ Michael Spencer, CEO of ICAP, in an October 2001 internal company e-mail presented as evidence in a British court by lawyers for rival firm Cantor Fitzgerald during a lawsuit alleging that ICAP unfairly stole three top London brokers barely a month after Cantor lost 658 employees in the World Trade Center attacks

“We’ll have him ready. His colon will be ready.’’ White House physician Dr. Richard Tubbs, on preparations for President George W. Bush’s colonoscopy

“Do not assume anything. I will plead ’no contest’.’’ Zacarias Moussaoui, in response to Judge Leonie Brinkema’s repeated explanations that a no-contest plea would be tantamount to an admission of guilt, and that she would assume on his behalf that he was pleading not guilty

“I didn’t do this stuff. I will go all the way to the Supreme Court, The Hague, wherever they want to go.” Providence, R.I., Mayor Vincent A. (Buddy) Cianci Jr., on a federal jury’s June 24 guilty verdict against him for a racketeering-conspiracy charge

“No one will beat him. Yasir Arafat, he’s still the symbol.’’ Hussam Khader, Palestinian legislator, member of the Fatah movement and vocal Arafat critic, in response to President Bush’s call for new Palestinian leadership

“We didn’t want to select the penis as a logo for the gay community. We have more respect for the gay community than that.’’ Dr. Peter Kerndt, head of the Los Angeles Health Department’s STD program, on his decision to refuse an advertisement for syphilis-infection awareness intended for the gay community that depicted a cartoon of male genitalia and was to be distributed in major California cities

“I just hope my file and my life reflect that I take very seriously not just what I did, but what I do on a daily basis.” Leslie Van Houten, to the California Parole Board. The “Manson family” member, who took part in the 1969 LaBianca slayings, was denied parole for the 14th time.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Michael Martin”

“He was never on the wagon.” Anonymous friend of Billy Joel’s ex-girlfriend Trish Bergin, on whether a newly formed drinking problem had caused the breakup, after which Joel entered a Connecticut treatment facility

“It didn’t rise to his level.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, on why the president was not immediately informed of an unidentified- aircraft incident that caused a partial evacuation of the building

“I’m kind of like Che Guevara: I lead the revolution, but at some point, I turn it over to someone else.” Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, on his decision not to seek re-election

“That gentleman will never set foot in Perugia again.” Luciano Gaucci, chairman of Italy’s Perugia soccer club, on his team’s player Ahn Jung Hwan, who scored the winning goal for his native South Korea that eliminated Italy from World Cup competition, and who later claimed at a press conference that Italian soccer was inferior to that of Korea

“[If it] happened at a time that would interfere with the flight attendants’ performing critical safety functions.” A federal aviation official, on whether Georgia Democratic Rep. Sanford Bishop would be fined for urinating into a cup during a D.C.-Atlanta flight

“Can we please have our Angolan diamonds back?” Jack Jolis, an Antwerp, Belgium-based diamond trader, speaking before the World Diamond Conference in Vancouver on the harm done to trade by anti-blood-diamond regulations

“She’s a natural writer. We were very surprised.” Robbie Woliver, editor of the Long Island newspaper The New Island Ear, on his paper’s newest columnist, Amy Fisher

“You have to accept the fact that the people are there to watch Tiger and not you.” Sports psychologist Dr. Bob Rotella, on the advice he gives to those of his 20 PGA Tour players whose games have suffered because of Tigermania

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Greg Woodall”

“I know planes, but I don’t know INS.” Berton Beach, vice president of operations for Miami’s Aeroservice Aviation Center, on how Mohammad Saffi, Air New Zealand engineer and stepson of Saddam Hussein, was able to enroll at the same flight school attended by 9-11 hijacker Ziad Jarrah without the student visa required of foreign flight students by the federal government

“When I heard King had exhausted his appeals, I began thinking, ‘How can this help me or solve my pain?’ And I realized it couldn’t.” Ross Byrd, son of Jasper, Texas, hate-crime murder victim James Byrd Jr., on his decision to hold a prayer vigil to stop the death sentence of John W. King, a white supremacist convicted of dragging the African-American Byrd to death with his truck in 1998

“It won’t be very long. From our point of view, the sooner the better.” Nils Ericsson, chief of Peru’s anti-drug agency, on his government’s decision to suspend programs that help wean peasant farmers from growing coca

“I am glad I stayed in my seat on a Montgomery, Alabama, bus, Dec. 1, 1955… I would also like you to keep your seat.” Rosa Parks, in a note to Rep. J. C. Watts, urging him to keep his position as the GOP’s only African-American congressman

“It is not just about tennis.” Khawaja Saeed Hai, senior vice president of the Pakistan Tennis Federation, on his organization’s order that player Aisam-ul-Haq Qureshi terminate his partnership with Israeli player Amir Hadad

“It was either now or never, because I was playing the two-time Wimbledon champion. It’s hard to beat Venus here.” Serena Williams, on beating her older sister Venus to win the Wimbledon title

“I don’t think there’s any doubt [CBS] made a huge mistake letting him in and keeping him in.” Clayton Burgess, attorney for “Big Brother 2” contestant Krista Segall, on contestant Justin Sebik, a bartender with a legal history of assault who held a knife to Segall’s throat, kissed her and discussed killing her during the show

“This is just one hill, but it points straight up to God.” Shalom Israeli, on his resolve to never leave his unauthorized West Bank settlement despite its proximity to a Palestinian village and new restrictions on illegitimate settlements by Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s government

“Think linen, try seersucker… sweet summer hats, free yourself from black. Look fabulous staying cool.” Attire suggestions from an invitation to the July 4 wedding of Julia Roberts and cameraman Danny Moder at the bride’s Taos, N.M., ranch

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Gladys Ancona”

Attorney General John Ashcroft, on arresting four people and charging two others with conspiring to wage war on the United States

“You could be next.”

Excerpt from one of 120,000 leaflets, written in Arabic and dropped by British and U.S. combat jets, threatening immediate retaliation against Iraqi forces who try to stop patrols of the no-flight zones

“Au revoir does not mean goodbye.”

“Les Miserables” producer Cameron Mackintosh, on closing Broadway’s second longest-running musical March 15

“I think Muhammad was a terrorist.”

The Rev. Jerry Falwell, on Islam’s founder and most sacred figure

“I didn’t know whether to say thank you or that my feelings were hurt.”

Vicki Silvers, on learning her study of highlighted textbook passages won an Ig Nobel award, which honors dubious scientific research

“Kids–they have no respect for older people. No morals. They don’t care.”

Milwaukee resident Anthony Brown, on the child mob that fatally beat a 36-year-old man with rakes, shovels and baseball bats in the foyer of Brown’s duplex

“I’m a follower of Osama bin Laden. I’m an enemy of your country.”

British citizen Richard C. Reid, pleading guilty to trying to blow up a transatlantic flight with explosives stuffed in his shoes

“It’s a damn shame you can’t even walk around without getting shot.”

Montgomery County, Md., resident J. F. Minton, on the six people killed at random by a skilled single-shot gunman

“I am not a Frankenstein, and I don’t create monsters.”

University of Kentucky professor emeritus Panayiotis Zavos, on working outside the country to develop the first human clone

“I never understood jihad to mean anti-Americanism or terrorism.”

“American Taliban” John Walker Lindh, shortly before being sentenced to 20 years in federal prison

“When I told my father, he thought I was joking. He is worried about what we have done to his film.”

Adriano Giannini, on playing the role his father originated, in a remake of “Swept Away” with Madonna

“What can I do? I’m not perfect, alas.”

New Jersey poet laureate Amiri Baraka, on being asked by the governor to resign after implying in a poem that Israel knew about the September 11 attacks in advance

“I think ‘soon’ is a good word.”

Former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, on his plans for marrying Judith Nathan

“It’s almost like reporters are guys that see a pretty girl and want to talk to her, but they don’t know what to say. So they say all the things they think they’re supposed to say in order to make it work.”

Singer-songwriter Beck, on being interviewed

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Angela Jimenez”

“The cost of a bullet, if the Iraqi people take it on themselves, is substantially less than that.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, comparing the prospect of an internal uprising toppling Saddam Hussein to the estimated $9 billion to $13 billion cost of building up to an Iraq war

“If we went shopping every time the Americans threatened us, we would always be at the market.” Taha Mahmud Fatah, 39, a jeweler in the northern city of Mosul, Iraq, on life inside the country as war approaches

“We have no opinion on the future existence of blonds.” World Health Organization press statement, on a false report attributed to the agency that predicted the extinction of blondness in 200 years

“I died a month ago.” Dehydrated and delusional survivor Terry Watson, whose boat was reported missing July 23 off the Florida Keys, on being lost at sea

“The sort of people who elected me from the East Midlands would recoil in horror at ’the United States of Europe’.” Roger Helmer, Tory Party and European Parliament member, on proposed name changes for the European Union, which also included suggestions such as “United Europe” and “European Community”

“She kissed me like a mother kisses her child.” Iranian director Ali Zamani, on the kiss he was given by actress Gohar Kheirandish while she presented him the top director’s prize at an awards ceremony. Under Iran’s Islamic law, the kiss was illegal, and both face charges of disturbing public morality.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Lydia Tiemann”

“War is the worst response man can imagine; everything has to be done to avoid it.” French President Jacques Chirac, on his country’s reluctance to support U.S.-led military action in Iraq

“The North Koreans had their hand in the till, and the U.S. slammed the drawer.” Defense analyst Peter Hayes, on the discovery of North Korea’s nuclear-weapons program

“We should be able to use petroleum to shape opinions in the world.” Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, on increasing the influence of oil-producing Muslim nations on the global stage

“I felt I was listening to a tape recorder.” Teruaki Masumoto, on the repetitive and evasive replies of her sister, one of the five abducted Japanese citizens who were allowed by the North Korean government to return home for a brief, supervised visit

“Sex inside marriage is a sacrament.” Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, defending her comment that at the age of 55 she still has “plenty” of sex

“It was nothing but ‘bomb, bomb, bomb.’ I never believed he would carry out his plan.” An anonymous friend of Petri Gerdt, the 19-year-old chemistry student who detonated a homemade bomb in a crowded shopping mall in Finland, killing seven, including himself

“Either they are so dumb that they can only sit there silently staring straight ahead with vacant looks on their faces, or they get on my nerves because they can’t stop blabbering.” Australian photographer Helmut Newton, on working with models

“It was just a draft, administrative error.” Spokesman for the Booker Prize, on accidentally announcing the Canadian writer Yann Martel as the winner of the award, which has yet to be decided

“I asked him to call me ‘daughter,’ and he did… This had to happen at some moment. I feel satisfied.” Zarai Toledo, 14, on being officially recognized as the Peruvian president’s offspring

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Glen Holmes”

President George W. Bush, on Iraqi President Saddam Hussein

“If we as a group were black or gay, we would not be victimized or picked upon.”

An unnamed farmer, quoted and endorsed by Prince Charles, in a letter to British Prime Minister Tony Blair

“I know I will remain Miss Universe for Russian citizens and for myself.”

Russian law student Oxana Fedorova, winner of the 2002 Miss Universe crown, on being de-tiara’d for breach of contract

“We thank God that the French came for us.”

Sam Parham, one of 160 people trapped at the International Christian Academy in Cote d’Ivoire during a rebel uprising, on being evacuated by a French military escort

“I don’t think I’ve got to show anybody anything. I’m having a great season.”

Milwaukee Brewers shortstop Jose Hernandez, who last week was one strikeout short of tying the major-league record

“I have no desire to go beyond saying the answer is yes.”

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on whether U.S. intelligence had found a link between Iraq and the Qaeda terrorist network

“We ought not politicize the rhetoric about war and life and death.”

Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, accusing President Bush of using the Iraq issue for political gain

“In your heart, you honestly believe that stuff happens someplace else. It can’t happen here.”

Norfolk, Neb., Police Chief Bill Mizner, on a bank robbery that left five people dead

“I knew he wasn’t real pilot material–he had actually studied his manuals and didn’t talk about girls.”

Flight instructor Clancy Prevost, on his experience with alleged 9-11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui

“We weren’t alerted by her.”

Detroit Public Schools Chief Financial Officer Ken Forrest, on a teacher who mistakenly received $4,015,624.80, after taxes, for 18 minutes of work

“We have nothing against women. I love them all. I’ve got some myself.”

Augusta National Golf Club member Boone Knox, on the controversial all-male status of the private club

“He’s a tough old bird.”

Navy warship Cmdr. Gary Patriott, on Richard Van Pham, a 62-year-old man who was adrift at sea for three months before being saved by the warship

“It’s like if there was no Museum of Art… It’s as important as that.”

Daniel Gluck, executive director of New York’s Museum of Sex, on the adults-only institution

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Thomas Holley”

“This is the guy that tried to kill my dad.” U.S. President George W. Bush, on Iraqi President Saddam Hussein

“Liberals are, in my estimation, just not bright people.” U.S. House Majority Leader Dick Armey, on his political opponents

“Kids no longer need to drive to lookout points to have sex.” Sarah Brown, director of the U.S. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, on a new study finding most teens lose their virginity at home

“Sadly, I think Bush will hit Iraq in much the same way that a drunk will hit a bottle.” British Labour Party member Alan Simpson, a leading member of the Stop the War Coalition, on President Bush’s push for military action in Iraq

“In the film sequences since 1998, only the doubles appear. He himself has not been seen again.” Dieter Buhmann, a coroner from Germany, on his study sponsored by a German television network that examined 450 photos of Saddam Hussein. Buhmann claims that the Iraqi president has at least three doubles.

“He’s a tough old bird.” Navy warship Cmdr. Gary Patriott, on Richard Van Pham, a 62-year-old man who was adrift at sea for three months before being saved by Patriott’s ship

“It’s like if there was no Museum of Art… I said, ‘Why isn’t there a museum of sex?’ It’s as important as that.” Daniel Gluck, executive director of New York’s Museum of Sex, on the adults-only institution

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Mary Roberts”

“It is sinister to prey on good hearts to fund the works of evil.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on Enaam Arnaout, the head of a U.S. Muslim charity, who is charged with deceiving donors by funneling funds to Al Qaeda and other militant groups

“Colin Powell’s committed to come into the house of the master. When Colin Powell dares to suggest something other than what the master wants to hear, he will be turned back out to pasture.” Singer and liberal political advocate Harry Belafonte, likening the secretary of State to a plantation slave

“If he wanted to attack a particular position I hold, that was fine. But to use a slave reference, I think, is unfortunate and is a throwback to another time and another place that I wish Harry had thought twice about using.” Powell, in response to Belafonte

“It should be interpreted as a criticism of the line that the current administration has taken.” Nobel committee chairman Gunnar Berge, on former president Jimmy Carter’s winning the Nobel Peace Prize

“Why use that picture?” Former U.S. Senate candidate Mike Taylor, on a Montana Democratic ad that he said portrayed him as a gay hairdresser

“He didn’t want the Army looking for him.” Fayetteville, N.C., Det. Barbara Davenport, on Jonathan Meadows, a Fort Bragg soldier who tried to stage his suicide by stabbing a man who looked like him

“I mean, there are many serial killers that haven’t been caught. Should they not release ‘Red Dragon’?” Film director Joel Schumacher, on “Phone Booth,” his upcoming movie about a randomly selected man being terrorized by a sniper

“We really can’t believe our incredible luck.” British electrician Mike McDermott, on winning the British lottery twice in four months

“We believe he rode the mower to the crime scene as well.” Fairfield, Ill., police Sgt. Steven Sons, on a man suspected of stealing more than $1,000 in jewelry, then fleeing on a red riding lawn mower

“It was kind of a little archeological find.” Backpacker Glenn Rasmuson, on finding a leather wallet in the Sierra Nevada and returning it, with $37 still inside, to the hiker who lost it in a 1975 fall

“I don’t know about this Christopher Columbus parade that is basically celebrating some guy who… found America and then killed all the Indians.” “Sopranos” actor Joe Pantoliano, on being barred from New York’s Columbus Day Parade because parade organ-izers disapprove of the show’s violence and portrayal of Italian-Americans

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Marilyn Copeland”

“They are supposed to be doing the people’s business. It should not be too much to ask a member of Congress who criticizes a bill to show up to vote against it.” Bill Allison, spokesman for the Center for Public Integrity, on Arizona Sen. John McCain skipping a vote on a $355 million defense-spending bill to rehearse for a guest appearance on “Saturday Night Live”

“We are tired of Dennis… Are you?” Excerpt from a newspaper ad, paid for by Connecticut State Rep. Dennis Cleary’s relatives, who don’t support Cleary’s re-election to a sixth term in the General Assembly

“I beg you Mr. President, listen to Gershwin, read chapters of Stegner, of Saroyan, the speeches of Martin Luther King. Remind yourself of America.” Excerpt from Sean Penn’s “An Open Letter to the President of the United States,” a $56,000 advertisement in The Washington Post, detailing the actor’s feelings on Iraq

“North Korea has some explaining to do.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, on North Korea’s nuclear program

“He couldn’t see what he said he saw.” Fairfax County, Va., prosecutor Robert F. Horan Jr., on bringing charges against Matthew Dowdy, who gave misleading tips to police investigating the sniper

“If more people in the past had taken a position of not speaking out, Tiger Woods might be a caddie at Augusta.” Martha Burk, National Council of Women’s Organizations chair, on Woods not commenting earlier on Augusta National Golf Club’s men-only policy

“You can bet that the child will be raised a Giants fan.” Posting from an ad that offered to give two World Series tickets to a man willing to be a sperm donor

“He’s huge, he’s huge, he’s really, really big.” Anchorage, Alaska, pilot John Bouker, on the bird the size of a small airplane that he and several villagers reported seeing fly over southwest Alaska, baffling scientists

“Either they are so dumb that they can only sit there silently staring straight ahead with vacant looks on their faces, or they get on my nerves because they can’t stop blabbering.” Australian photographer Helmut Newton, on working with models

“I was told through my visions that evil was trying to enter a very sacred place.” Colorado clairvoyant Nancy Marks, on foreseeing a lawsuit filed by a rival psychic. Each one predicts winning.

“Jamie has the maturity level of, like, a 15-year-old, which is awesome.” Fifteen-year-old Chelsea Brummet, on working with Britney Spears’s 11-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, on Nickelodeon’s “All That”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Wanda Bradney”

“Colin Powell’s committed to come into the house of the master.” Singer Harry Belafonte, criticizing the U.S. secretary of State by comparing him to a Civil War-era house slave

“We want our books to be used.” German publisher Georges Hemmerstoffer, on printing works of literature on toilet paper

“It was as if he was a robot who was programmed to blow up.” Israeli bus driver Baruch Neuman, on the suicide bomber who tried to attack his bus

“Mr. President, we are about to give you a great trust.” Republican Dick Armey, on the U.S. congressional resolution passed to authorize the use of force against Iraq

“We couldn’t write rock songs. We just wrote crap ballads.” Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger, on the band’s first hits

“I don’t know about this Christopher Columbus parade that is basically celebrating some guy who… found America and then killed all the Indians.” “Sopranos” actor Joe Pantoliano, on being barred from New York City’sColumbus Day Parade because the parade’s organizers disapprove of the show’s violence and portrayal of Italian-Americans

“As for America itself, it should expect to be treated the same way it has acted.” Voice on an audiotape, believed to be Osama bin Laden’s top lieutenant, Ayman al-Zawahiri, threatening fresh attacks against the United States

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Russell Baker”

“If you try to figure out the significance of anything he said, you’re wasting your time.” Frank Dunham Jr., former defense attorney for accused terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, after Moussaoui claimed he could prove his case in 10 minutes at his upcoming conspiracy trial

“You don’t kill terrorists just by moving boxes on an organization chart.” Rep. David Obey of Wisconsin, referring to the lack of adequate funding for the new Homeland Security Department

“I’m choosing death because South Korea has to go far to compete with the Latin American and European teams. I will be a ghost and the 12th player on the pitch.” A suicide note left by an obsessed World Cup fan from South Korea who died after setting himself on fire

“I have neglected my wife and family, neglected my business, given up hunting, developed heart disease.” Former Virginia House speaker Vance Wilkins Jr., on his resignation from legislative leadership after the media reported his involvement in a sex scandal

“It’s hard to hate a doughnut.” McDonald’s restaurant operator Irwin Kruger, on his attempt to revive business by selling “McDonuts”

“Somebody better tell ‘Boy Wonder’ to get the hole in his suit jacket fixed.” A senior Democratic aide, after a disk containing a private analysis of the 2002 and 2004 elections prepared by Bush aide Karl Rove was found on a street corner a few blocks from the White House

“I bet Dan Rather’d let me do it.” Country singer Toby Keith, after a controversial hit song of his was banned from an ABC show by Peter Jennings “We can beat any other country in crossword puzzles.” U.S. men’s soccer-team coach Bruce Arena, on the fact that college is seen as a hindrance to developing soccer talent in America

“Yesterday, 75 percent of our callers were asking indeed if the entire state is on fire.” Colorado business owner Mark Greksa, on the blow tourism is experiencing due to the largest wildfires in state history

“You’re looking out and seeing Al Gore’s unmentionables in his big carry-on suitcase. You could tell he was thinking, ‘This is not happening to me’.” Midwest Express Airlines passenger Mark Graul, on Al Gore’s being checked twice by airport security for random screening on a recent trip to Wisconsin

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Kim Stallings”

“We are checking into it to see if there is a violation of the gambling laws. We’re not getting into the moral aspect.” Kiryat Malachi, Israel, police spokesman Gil Kleiman, on local gamblers who have been placing bets on which Israeli city will be the next to be struck by a suicide bomber

“I don’t want a banana republic. I want a real country.” Hamid Karzai, who was elected Afghanistan’s interim president on Thursday, expressing his hopes for his country

“I was very pleased. I was also surprised because I must admit I wasn’t expecting to get it.” Rock-and-roll icon Mick Jagger, on his reaction to being awarded knighthood by Queen Elizabeth

“There are many children in Turkey who will be beaten tonight.’’ Istanbul pediatrician Aysegul Salgin, on the large number of children who are punished by their parents every June because of poor annual report cards. Some are even provided police escorts to accompany them home.

“We can beat any other country in crossword puzzles.” U.S. men’s soccer-team coach Bruce Arena, on college’s being seen as a hindrance to developing football talent in America

“I’m choosing death because South Korea has to go far to compete with the Latin American and European teams. I will be a ghost and the 12th player on the pitch.’’ Suicide note left by a World Cup fan from South Korea who died after setting himself on fire

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Patricia Michalak”

“This is a big victory for the government because he is the most notorious and most ruthless of the leaders.” Journalist Glenda Gloria, on the Philippines’ reaction to the reported death of Muslim rebel Abu Sabaya, who headed the terrorist organization Abu Sayyaf. Gloria coauthored a book on the rebel group.

“Why is Mr. Ashcroft, a committed Christian, using his official capacity to celebrate sin?” The Culture and Family Institute’s Robert Knight, on U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft’s decision to allow his deputy to address a meeting of gay Justice Department employees

“That gentleman will never set foot in Perugia again.” Luciano Gaucci, chairman of Italy’s Perugia Football Club, on his team’s player Ahn Jung Hwan. Ahn scored the winning goal for his native South Korea, eliminating Italy from World Cup competition. He later claimed at a press conference that Italian football was inferior to the Korean game.

“The conditions are severe and not pleasant, to say the least.” Tanya Hacker, spokeswoman for a South African rescue mission, on the harsh weather punishing 107 researchers stranded aboard a German ship off the coast of Antarctica

“I am ashamed and feel guilty about not being able to take care of my sons properly.” South Korean President Kim Dae Jung, on the arrest of his son, Kim Hong Up, 52, on corruption charges. Hong Up’s younger brother, Kim Hong Gul, was arrested for corruption in May and currently awaits trial.

“Can we please have our Angolan diamonds back?” Antwerp-based diamond trader Jack Jolis, speaking at the World Diamond Conference in Vancouver on the harm done to business by regulations against trading “blood diamonds”

“This is about an airline targeting fat people to make money.” Weight-discrimination opponent Marilyn Wann, on Southwest Airlines’ decision to require obese people to buy two seats to accommodate their girth

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-12” author: “Bradley Schreiber”

“These men and women whose task is the moral and civic education of our children had the abominable idea of sending them on a mission of hate and vengeance. These are Soviet activities.’’ French presidential candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen, on teachers who allowed their students to participate in demonstrations opposing his campaign

“It is the same Chavez, the same Chavez as always.” Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, on his return to the presidency

“Don’t do it. You will get hammered. You will fail miserably… Politics is one thing, but daytime talk, now that’s war.” Talk-show host Maury Povich, on NBC’s reported offer to former president Bill Clinton to host a daytime talk show

“I’m excited no one else will be hurt by him.’’ RomanCatholic mother Maria Leo, on the arrest on child-rape charges of retired Rev. Paul Shanley, 71, for crimes allegedly committed in Massachusetts between 1983 and 1990

“I have been attacked as a woman and been called the bin Laden of figure skating.’’ French Olympicjudge Marie-Reine Le Gougne, after her three-year suspension by the International Skating Union for her alleged role in the recent vote-trading scandal at the Salt Lake City Olympic Games

“If there are people that the government thinks should not study certain subjects because of who they are, they should not be let into this country in the first place.’’ Victor Johnson, an official of the U.S. National Association of Independent Colleges and Universities, on a proposed antiterrorism policy that would prohibit foreign students from studying certain subjects

“We are a free country now, for me and my daughters.” Torpakay Saiki, one of nearly half a million Afghan refugees who have tried to return home from Pakistan refugee camps in recent weeks, overwhelming aid workers attempting to avert a humanitarian disaster

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Patrick Esperanza”

“It’s a really joyous day, a big day for the people of Sierra Leone, especially for those of us without feet or arms.” Mohammed Bah, on the presidential elections in his country after years of brutal war

“We’re going to miss him. Ha, ha, ha.” AOL Time Warner chairman Ted Turner, on the retirement of chief executive Gerald Levin, who made the merger that cost the company billions

“This is a puppy with some problems.” Heavyweight champion Lennox Lewis, on the prematch antics of his opponent, Mike Tyson

“I’m more worried about chickens going back and forth than missiles going back and forth.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, on an agreement between the United States and Russia to decrease nuclear arsenals

“It is truly endemic to the system.” Former program administrator at the Florida Department of Children and Families Sandra Owen, referring to false reports and dishonestyin the system, resulting in 404 lost foster children

“We said that was going too far.” Media lawyer Klaus Sedelmeier, referring to German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder’s levying of a fine of up to euro 10,000 (more than $9,000) on any reporting that claims his hair is dyed

“He is the type of person who sleeps at 9:30 p.m. after watching the domestic news.” Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah, on the hours he spent briefing President George W. Bush on Middle East issues

“America will tire of me much quicker than they did Kathie Lee.” TV personality Kelly Ripa, on her future as a morning-talk-show host opposite Regis Philbin on the ABC network

“It’s become a local curiosity.” Seminole County Sheriff’s Department spokesman Steve Olson, after frustrated resident Alan Davis built a statue of buttocks in his front yard that moons his neighborhood

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Ava Jimenez”

Help! A message hanging in the window of a school in Erfurt, eastern Germany, where students were held hostage after a shooting spree by an expelled student left 17 dead

“I am not going to permit you to be in a court of law without any legal sources whatsoever.” Judge Leonie M. Brinkema, to terror suspect Zacarias Moussaoui, in response to his request to represent himself. She said she’d allow him to represent himself if a psychiatrist found him mentally capable.

“He did not slow the train at all.” National Transportation Safety Board Chairwoman Marion C. Blakey, on the freight engineer who might be responsible for causing the head-on wreck that killed two passengers and injured hundreds more in California. Investigators said he was signaled to slow down, but the train sped up.

“Americans deserve the confidence of knowing that the individuals working in our airports are worthy of our trust.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on the increasing number of arrested airport employees. The recent arrest of 104 people brought the nationwide total of airport-employee-related arrests to 356 since September 11.

“Price-fixing is a crime whether it’s committed in the grocery store or the halls of a great auction house.” Judge George B. Daniels, on the crime that will send Sotheby’s principal owner, Alfred Taubman, to prison for a year and a day

“To do this is not to create a special right for gay men and lesbians, but to end discrimination against them, as we have done for others.” Maine Sen. Susan Collins, on the approval of a bill prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation

“Instead of ensuring that our water is clean to drink, they thought that maybe there wasn’t enough arsenic in the drinking water.” Former vice president Al Gore, criticizing the Bush administration in an Earth Day speech at Vanderbilt University

“I’ll be honest–I guess we’re a little homesick.” Karen Hughes, one of the president’s closest advisers, explaining why she was resigning and moving her family back to Texas

“The university is incapable of ordering blackboard erasers in quantities of more than six without a committee.” Harvard president Lawrence H. Summers, displaying his impatience with slow decision making at the 366-year-old institution

“Thirteen billion to 14 billion.” An updated estimate of the universe’s age

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Leona Toliver”

HELP! A message waved from a window by a student in a school classroom in Erfurt, eastern Germany, where an expelled student went on a shooting spree, killing 16 before shooting himself dead

“All of the cardinals are agreed on zero tolerance.” Philadelphia Cardinal Anthony Bevilacqua, on the new policy of the Roman Catholic Church against sexual abuse of minors by priests

“Muslim brothers in Palestine, do not have any mercy [or] compassion on the Jews, their blood, their money, their flesh… Why don’t you enslave their women? Why don’t you wage jihad? Why don’t you pillage them?” Saudi government official cleric Shaikh Saad Al-Buraik, in a tape obtained by the Saudi Information Agency. Al-Buraik was speaking in a Riyadh government mosque.

“I am not going to permit you to be in a court of law without any legal sources whatsoever.” U.S. DistrictJudge Leonie M. Brinkema, to terror suspect Zacarias Moussaoui, in response to his request to represent himself. Brinkema said she would allow him to represent himself if a psychiatrist found him mentally capable.

“The university is incapable of ordering blackboard erasers in quantities of more than six without a committee.’’ Harvard University president Lawrence H. Summers, displaying his impatience with slow decision making at the 366-year-old institution

“The only thing we asked was that he phone us from space.” Rick Shuttleworth, on his son Mark, who became South Africa’s first astronaut when he flew into orbit last Thursday. Shuttleworth paid a reported $20 million to Russia for the trip.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Lois Mcallister”

“We were two different kinds of people. What sometimes she thought was funny, I would think was not; what I thought was funny, she thought was juvenile.” Former “Today” cohost Bryant Gumbel, on his relationship with Katie Couric, in aninterview with Barbara Walters to be aired on ABC’s “20/20” on May 17

“If Jesus came to Mardi Gras, where would he be? I have a feeling he would be right there.’’ Parishioner Richard Luquette, on the Rev. Thomas Bouterie’s resignation after a coffee-table book showed him shirtless at Mardi Gras next to a drag queen and men in biking shorts

“We would hope that they have enough brain cells to know not to bring illicit drugs into the courthouse.’’ Court-appointed attorney Jeffrey Witeko, on the arrest of suspected drug dealer Duron Ford after he showed up for a Pennsylvania court appearance hiding two grams of crack cocaine and some marijuana

“Children. Young men. Sailors. The orchestra. Drums. Horns.’’ A woman describing the grisly scene after a bomb blasted through a military parade in Russia, killing 34 and injuring 130 others

“That’s no, nyet and nein.’’ Saudi Foreign Minister Saud Al-Faisal, when asked if he had plans to meet with Israelis while in Washington, D.C.

“The experts are saying that Mr. Ankrom did a fantastic job. They thought it was an internal job.’’ California Department of Transportation spokeswoman Jeanne Bonfilio, on artist Richard Ankrom’s unauthorized addition to a confusing freeway sign that went unnoticed for nine months

“I can’t figure out how to introduce the captain without panicking the passengers.’’ Puzzled Delta flight attendant talking to a passenger on Flight 421 about pilot Mike Hyjek, pronounced “hijack,” shortly after the plane left the gate at La Guardia airport

“The in-laws get to use supersaver fares.’’ Director of maternal-fetal medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Michael Greene, on the benefits to pregnant women of advance-scheduling a Caesarean birth even if there is no medical cause for it

“There’s more of us.’’ Keith Richards, responding to a comment that the Rolling Stones charge more for tickets than Sir Paul McCartney

“Look at him and how fried his brains are from taking drugs all those years and everyone will say, ‘I don’t want to be like that’.” Dan Quayle, praising the “anti-drug” promotional value of heavy-metal rocker Ozzy Osbourne

“I guess I’ll have to polish up my dance routine.’’ Singer Jewel, on her upcoming tour where she will be guitarless due to a broken collarbone

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Margaret Schaefer”

“Never has a country denounced its own signature of a treaty.” A statement by the Lawyers Committee for Human Rights condemning the Bush administration’s decision to abandon the treaty that supports an International Criminal Court

“All the sex workers in Perth would have been exhausted.” Australian brothel owner Mary-Anne Kenworthy, explaining why she took the unusual step of closing her business for a day. Due to an influx of American sailors on their way home from Afghanistan, her employees had worked beyond their capacity.

“FAT MAN WON’T SING.” New York Post headline speculating that robust tenor Luciano Pavarotti would not perform at his farewell concert at the Metropolitan Opera due to illness

“That’s no, nyet and nein.” Saudi Foreign Minister Saud Al-Faisal, when asked if he had plans to meet with Israelis while in Washington, D.C.

“I suspect like many other people my heart stood still.” Prince Charles, on how he felt after learning of Friday’s train crash outside of London, which killed seven people

“I apologize for my behavior. I am shamed by it.” Former FBI agent Robert Hanssen, who was sentenced to life in prison for spying for Moscow

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Joanna Brown”

“The whole campus is worried.” SiTanka Huron University freshman Tim Emerson, referring to widespread fear at the South Dakota school of 400 about exposure to HIV. Basketball player Nikko Briteramos, 18, was recently arrested at his dormitory and charged with five counts of knowingly exposing a female to HIV.

“These men and women whose task is the moral and civic education of our children had the abominable idea of sending them on a mission of hate and vengeance. These are Soviet activities.’’ French presidential candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen, on teachers who allowed their students to participate in demonstrations opposing his campaign

“I have been attacked as a woman and been called the bin Laden of figure skating.’’ French Olympic judge Marie-Reine Le Gougne, after her three-year suspension by the International Skating Union

“This is not the summer to get rich.’’ CollegeRecruiter.com president and founder Steven Rothberg, on the fact that companies across the country are offering more nonpaying jobs than in previous years

“We have to give Tom Ridge a real job.” Democratic Rep. Jane Harman of California, in support of a bill increasing Ridge’s power as head of homeland security

“Bush men always cry, I apologize. It’s a little genetic problem I got from my dad.’’ Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, fighting tears as he talked about his daughter at a drug summit

“The kids who are fat are getting really fatter.’’ Dr. Nazrat Mirza, of theChildren’s National Medical Center, on the rising rate of child obesity

“I’m excited no one else will be hurt by him.’’ Roman Catholic mother Maria Leo, on the arrest of the Rev. Paul Shanley, 71

“Don’t touch your mailbox until further notice.’’ Sheriff Rod Herrick of Carroll County, Ill., warning residents after eight pipe bombs were found in local mailboxes with antigovernment propaganda attached

“I’m now convinced the watchword is B.Y.O.N.’’ Burger eater Kirk Walden, on restaurants’ rationing paper napkins in an attempt to cut costs

“The students tore down the Berlin wall.’’ Gerica McCrary, Taylor County High School student, 17, on the Georgia school’s first nonsegregated prom

“Legitimizing molestation doesn’t fall under academic freedom.’’ State Sen. John Loudon of Missouri, criticizing a University of Missouri professor’s writings about pedophilia. The state cut university funds.

“When their client gets $6 million for every month of marriage and then goes back and asks for more, it’s unbelievable.’’ David Margulies, a spokesman for E. Pierce Marshall, stepson of deceased oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall, on widow Anna Nicole Smith’s request for an additional $30 million in interest after receiving $88 million in March

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-22” author: “Elena Bodkin”

“I have now heard you.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, to hecklers at the Johannesburg earth summit, after 13 of them were dragged from the room

“I’d advise the wives to play their rival at her own game–make themselves more beautiful.” Marta Casiraghi, mayor of Missaglia, Italy, on complaints from local wives about a young woman sunbathing topless on her terrace

“I don’t recognize this court. It is a court of the occupation.” Marwan Barghouti, a Palestinian leader, appearing before an Israeli court on charges of masterminding 37 attacks that killed 26 Israelis

“Driving a taxi is not a top job, but an achievement by women.” Zahra Langroudi, on her new business in Iran, a taxi service that allows only female passengers and drivers

“The world, the stands, the refs are all against us.” Paul Pierce, U.S. basketball player, relating teammate Reggie Miller’s timeout speech during the U.S. team’s embarrassing loss to Argentina, 87-80

“The way wars are presented these days makes it sound like a trip to Legoland.” Mudhafar Amim, Baghdad’s only accredited diplomat in London, on media coverage of a potential war against Iraq

“She has got bloody cheek, living as she does in £10,000-a-night hotels.” Lisa Clift, on Madonna’s disparaging comments concerning the architecture of the King’s Cross housing project in London

“I see irony, humor, gruesomeness, beauty. It’s OK if not everyone gets it.” American photographer Towsen Artman, who makes a living selling pictures of roadkill for $5,000 to $10,000 apiece

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Edna Richardson”

Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, in a letter to the United Nations General Assembly, on President George W. Bush’s U.N. speech “You’re standing in front of the most self-involved audience you’re ever going to stand in front of. It’s like a narcissists’ convention.”

Late-night TV host Conan O’Brien, on hosting the Emmy Awards “I apologize to the people of Kentucky for my failure as a person.”

Kentucky Gov. Paul Patton, admitting to a previously denied affair with a woman who is suing him for sexual harassment “I don’t think it’s a problem. I really don’t.”

Mets catcher Mike Piazza, on a report that at least seven teammates used marijuana this season “It was a bad choice, and it was captured on ‘Candid Camera’.”

Steven Rosen, lawyer for Madelyne Gorman Toogood, who was caught beating her 4-year-old daughter on an Indiana department-store camera “I have nothing but hatred in my heart for him.” Former president George H. W. Bush, on Saddam “America is now threatened less by conquering states than we are by failing ones.”

Line from a Bush administration document on shifting military strategy toward pre-emptive action “We have said we are not going to harm Mr. Arafat personally. We usually stand by our word.”

Israeli government spokesman Raanan Gissin, after Israeli forces shelled Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat’s private offices and demolished other buildings “He flipped us off. He got what he deserved.”

A 15-year-old Chicago fan, on why he and his father charged the field at Comiskey Park to attack Kansas City first-base coach Tom Gamboa “Why? I can think of a million reasons.”

Tiger Woods, on why he would rather win the American Express Championship, which carries a $1 million check and an individual title, than the Ryder Cup, which gives an American team victory, but no money “I needed to step off the one-book-a-year treadmill.”

“Harry Potter” author J. K. Rowling, on the delay of the fifth book in the series “Anyone can grow up to be president. We’re just giving them a forum to do that.”

FX head Peter Liguori, on his network’s new reality show, “American Candidate,” designed to pick a possible TV-endorsed president “These sheep are, in effect, pumping iron without lifting weights.”

Randy Jirtle, Duke University radiation oncologist, on the effect of a newly discovered gene that gives sheep muscular rear ends

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “David Obrien”

“They spend most of their time in their trailers. They don’t read much… and I think, ‘Why beat up on some poor little movie star?’ They’re like baby seals… they’re terrified. The shelf life of a movie actor or actress is so short, it’s like milk.” Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter, on why his magazine’s celebrity profiles are slightly less probing than its journalistic features

“We are absolutely convinced that the money did not go to anyone connected to Osama bin Laden or Al Qaeda.” CNN spokeswoman Christa Robinson, after it was revealed that the network paid approximately $30,000 to go-betweens in order to obtain videotapes of previously unreleased footage of bin Laden speeches and Al Qaeda training

“Wilderness and roadless areas are too valuable to be handed over to the logging industry in the name of ‘fuel reduction’.” William Meadows, president of the Wilderness Society, in response to a Bush administration initiative that would grant the logging industry more freedoms in hopes of diminishing the amount of flammable forestry found in the nation’s wilderness

“They were always talking to others on their mobile phones. They apparently were receiving orders from outside, perhaps Washington or Tel Aviv or London, or perhaps the office of Rumsfeld.” Shamil Mohammed, Iraqi diplomat stationed in the Berlin embassy, voicing his beliefs that last week’s siege of the embassy by Iraqi dissidents was coordinated by a foreign government

“Because of the altitude, some people got winded just jamming before the festival. Taking hits of oxygen was more practical than taking drugs.” Concert goer at August’s “Chinese Woodstock,” the nation’s first open-air rock festival. The event, which was held in the scenic Yunnan province, took place two miles above sea level.

“I called it tissue day.” Harlem manager Morris McWilliams, on his team’s 5-2 loss to Worcester, Mass., in the semifinals of the Little League World Series. It was the first time Harlem had qualified for the tournament.

“I spanked my kids, yes, I think disciplining children is fine.” Jerry Regier, Gov. Jeb Bush’s choice to run the beleaguered Florida Department of Children and Families

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Nancy Ma”

“The Western world is… looked upon as being arrogant, self-satisfied, greedy and with no limits. And September 11 is an occasion for me to realize it even more.” Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, speaking to the CBC on the anniversary of the terrorist attacks

“The numbers were picked in the standard random fashion using all the same protocols. It’s just the way the numbers came up.” New York Lottery spokeswoman Carolyn Hapeman, on the winning numbers 9-1-1 in the Sept. 11, 2002, drawing

“We regard some of these findings as suspicious but in need of further study.” Jesse Goodman, deputy director of the Center for Biologics Evaluation and Research, on four cases of West Nile virus that were diagnosed within weeks after the patients received blood from the general supply

“We do not accept President Bush’s conditions.” Iraq’s Deputy Prime Minister Tariq Aziz, rejecting Washington’s unconditional return of U.N. arms inspectors

“Saddam Hussein is as likely to allow a robust and effective weapons-inspection regime as I am to be the next astronaut.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, on Iraq’s cooperation with the United Nations

“He is a very big fish to catch.” Former CIA official Vincent Cannistraro, on the arrest of suspected Qaeda operative Ramzi bin al-Shibh

“They mourned on 9-11, and they are going to mourn again on 9-13.” Part of a conversation Georgia resident Eunice Stone said she heard that led to the detainment of three medical students of Middle Eastern descent in Florida. The students have since been released.

“Were they under the bed?” State-representative candidate Jaqui Colyer, on more than 1,800 votes in Miami-Dade County that were found two days after Florida’s primary election

“We consider her a VIP guest.” George Bauer, chief executive of the Miss America Organization, on recently resigned Miss North Carolina Rebekah Revel’s failed attempt to get her crown back

“It was his idea, and I think he looks much better. He’s bald on top, but what are you going to do?” Carlo Fargnoli, former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani’s barber, on Giuliani’s decision to abandon his infamous comb-over

“You can find God in the funniest places.” Mark Pinsky, author of “The Gospel According to the Simpsons,” on a British Christian group’s celebration of “Ned Flanders Day”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Jennifer Dalton”

“President Bush’s use of the term ‘Axis of Evil’… was more than a rhetorical flourish–it was factually correct.” U.S. Under Secretary of State John Bolton, on North Korea’s place in the axis, after its stockpiles of ballistic missiles were detailed during a trip to Seoul with U.S. arms-control negotiators

“About 15 percent of the [American] people are screwballs, lightweights and boobs, and you would not want those people unrepresented in Congress.” Former senator Alan K. Simpson, a Republican from Wyoming, on the departures of many colorful characters from the U.S. Congress, including crooked James Traficant, trigger-happy Bob Barr and gold-sneaker-toting Cynthia A. McKinney

“Kids want his autograph.” Shirley Johnson, manager at Kingslea Residential Center in New Zealand, where the country’s youngest and most famous killer, Bailey Junior Kurariki, 13, resides, convicted last week of manslaughter of a pizza-delivery man

“I tried to make him look black, but he’s quite recognizable.” Alla Tkachuk, a Russian-born artist, on her new exhibit of paintings depicting Prince Charles, including one of him as a black man

“When she… asked him what he would like to drink, he replied, ‘A little blood from you’.” Montenegro Airlines general manager Zoran Djurisic, on a passenger and the flight attendant he tried to strangle with a shoelace aboard a Dusseldorf-Pristina flight

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Nancy Paul”

“It is less important to have unanimity than it is to be making the right decisions and doing the right thing.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on how much international support the United States will seek before going to war against Iraq

“There is no country in the world that supports it. There is no international sanction for it. There is no coalition for it.” Adel Jubeir, adviser to Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Abdullah, on the war

“We’re better prepared than we were a year ago, but we are not done yet.” CDC director Julie Gerberding, on facing bioterrorism; $918 million has been allocated to strengthen health departments in 2003

“It’s on at the same time as ‘Entertainment Tonight’.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, on why he wasn’t planning to watch Tuesday’s debate between his Democratic gubernatorial opponents

“I am optimistic. Peace is on the way. A year or two, something like that. Really. This is the last round.” Mohammed Dahlan, chief security adviser to Yasir Arafat, on negotiations for a ceasefire in Israel

“There will be thousands of dead. You will all think of me.” September 11 hijacker Marwan Al-Shehhi, quoted by German federal prosecutor Kay Nehm, from a conversation Al-Shehhi allegedly had with a librarian two years ago. In the same conversation, he mentioned the World Trade Center as a target, according to Nehm.

“She was exactly who she was. She wasn’t going to be crushed by the royal system; she was always going to be true to herself.” Charles Spencer, ninth Earl Spencer and brother of Diana, Princess of Wales, who died in a car crash five years ago on Aug. 31

“San Francisco is a very nice small town.” New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on his city’s sole remaining U.S. rival to host the 2012 Olympics

“[He is] a rookie mayor uttering words frankly out of turn.” San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, usually frank himself, in response

“I don’t think that should be portrayed on television as a good thing. It’s tough on the mother and it’s tough on the child.” Former vice president Dan Quayle, resurrecting the “Murphy Brown” debate, this time over “Friends” single mother Rachel Green

“All streaks come to an end, and this was one that was overdue to come to an end.” Union head Donald Fehr, on the tentative deal baseball negotiators reached on a labor contract, averting a strike just after the deadline set by players

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Mary Nigro”

“If he gets rid of the doves… he’s battening down the hatches.” David Coltart, parliamentarian in the opposition party, on Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s dissolution, and subsequent reorganization, of his cabinet

“You are turning these people–as a legal matter, as a practical matter–into combatants.” Arturo Carrillo, professor and human-rights-law expert at Columbia University in New York, on Colombian President Alvaro Uribe’s plan to arm 20,000 peasants to support the armed forces in the ongoing war against rebel and paramilitary groups

“His training did not include these advanced concepts.” Darrin Stephenson, a control-room operator at Florida’s Lake Worth Utilities, on new employee Robert Coady, whose misunderstanding of procedure led him to flick a switch that caused a half-million-dollar transformer breakdown, and left the city without power for 40 minutes

“It’s extremely humiliating.” Floridian Melissa Colleran, who is 18, single and pregnant, on her state’s new law requiring pregnant women to place newspaper ads detailing their sexual history, including names and descriptions of past sexual partners. The law is intended to protect children who are later adopted from having their fathers materialize years later, demanding custody.

“Our hermit will have to live as near as possible the life of an 18th-century hermit.” Corinne Caddy, organizer of a project to find a temporary hermit for Britain’s Heritage Week, an annual re-enactment of the Victorian era, beginning Sept. 21. The candidate will spend seven unsociable days without modern amenities in a dank cave near Staffordshire, England. So far, there have been more than 100 applicants for the job.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Jeremy Kuhn”

“This is a magnificent tribute to a magnificent city that has experienced some heart-wrenching sadness.” New York Rep. Charles Rangel, on the one-day special session of Congress that met in New York City

“[The] reason was the obvious association of the name with the terror attacks of September 11.” A spokeswoman for a German magistrates court on why a Turkish couple was refused permission by officials to name their child Osama bin Laden

“It won’t make french fries a health food. They’ll still have artery-clogging fat, and they’ll still be high in calories.” Margo Wootan, director of nutrition policy for the Center for Science in the Public Interest, on McDonald’s announcement it’s cutting the fat in its fries

“The security situation in Afghanistan is not collapsing.” Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, after a car bomb rocked a busy marketplace in Kabul, killing 25 people

“The jury gave them every break they thought they could give them.” Florida prosecutor David Rimmer, on Alex King, 13, and his brother, Derek, 14, convicted of second-degree murder last week in the death of their father

“I have now heard you.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, to hecklers at the U.N. earth summit, after 13 of them were dragged from the room

“No, nothing like that yet.” “American Idol” winner Kelly Clarkson, on whether she was dating second-place finisher Justin Guarini. She immediately clarified that the “yet” was unintentional.

“I don’t recognize this court. It is a court of the occupation.” Marwan Barghouti, a Palestinian leader, appearing before an Israeli court on charges of masterminding 37 attacks that killed 26 Israelis

“I never got a lot done using a broomstick. You’ve got to have something that’s lethal.” Montana Sen. Conrad Burns, on the Senate’s approving guns in cockpits

“As I got closer, I said, ‘Either it’s a midget or I’m crazy and that’s a little boy’.” Ohio motorist Debbie Turner, on discovering an 8-year-old foster child who had stolen a pickup truck and driven 20 miles to see his family

“I’m 30 years old now. Three kids. A wife. A mom. Brothers. Artists… They all need me.” Rapper Snoop Dogg, High Times 2002 Stoner of the Year, on being substance-free for nearly a month

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Kyle Thompson”

“Examples are too numerous to chronicle, but include writing ‘$25.00,’ meaning $2,500, and ‘$4500,00,’ meaning $4,500–she testified she had trouble with zeros.” U.S. District Court Judge David Carter, who awarded Anna Nicole Smith $88 million in a trial several months ago, on the former Playmate’s check-writing habits

“This decision is an unequivocal sign of our rejection of the execution of [a Mexican] co-national.” Rodolfo Elizondo, spokesman for Mexican President Vicente Fox, who has focused on strengthening relations with the United States, on Fox’s decision to cancel a trip to Texas later this month after state authorities rebuffed is government’s attempts to gain clemency for Mexican-born death-row inmate Javier Suarez Medina, who was executed last week

“The silence of the [Muslim] clerics around the world is frightening to me. How come they haven’t come to this country? How come they haven’t apologized to the American people?” The Rev. Franklin Graham, son of Billy Graham, on how leaders of the international Muslim community should have shown more support after the 9-11 attacks

“I expect they’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Kurt Anderson, novelist and cofounder of media-criticism Web site Inside.com, after an article he did not write concerning “Dudes Who Dish” was attributed to him by the August Details magazine. Anderson did not learn of the misappropriation until his wife saw a copy of the issue at the gym.

“[The debate was] a little more heated than I had anticipated.” New York City Council Member Christine Quinn, cosponsor of a bill allowing the city to recognize gay marriages from other jurisdictions, after the bill passed the council 34-7

“If it’ll be ‘Hooters Girls’ flight attendants, it’s too early to tell.” Vanguard Airlines spokeswoman Elizabeth Catell, following an announcement that Hooters of America Inc., the restaurant chain famed for its scantily-clad waitresses, is considering a purchase of Vanguard, which last month was forced last week to stop its flights, lay off 90 percent of its work force and file for bankruptcy

“I think in Islam, you’re supposed to be buried whole, so I would take them and scatter them all over the place. They don’t deserve any kind of religious courtesies.” Donn Marshall, whose wife died in the Pentagon on 9-11, on what should be done with remains of the hijackers, currently in the possession of the FBI

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Tiffany Koewler”

“Friends don’t allow friends to [flout] international law.” William Schulz, executive director of Amnesty International USA, on Mexico’s criticism of Texas’s execution of Mexican Javier Suarez Medina. The United States did not allow Medina to seek help from the Mexican Consulate, a right guaranteed by an international treaty.

“I think Brent just got it wrong.” Former Reagan administration official Richard Perle, who supports attacking Iraq, in response to a Wall Street Journal editorial by Brent Scowcroft, former national-security adviser in the first Bush administration. Scowcroft urged President George W. Bush not to carry out the attack without greater forethought.

“I want to say to him, ‘Leave her alone, for Christ’s sake. She’s 47 years old. She doesn’t practice contraception because she is a Catholic. So stay off her!’ " Feminist Germaine Greer, speaking at the Edinburgh International Books Festival, on Prime Minister Tony Blair’s marriage. His wife, Cherie, with whom he has four children, suffered a miscarriage earlier this month.

“I treat it like an extreme sport.” Brock Enright, on the “custom kidnapping” provided by his New York company, Videogames, in which customers pay to have themselves abducted by masked strangers, tied up and sometimes tortured

“It is more than a few, that’s for sure.” Former general Amram Mitzna, mayor of Haifa, Israel, on how many Israeli settlements he would like to dismantle if he becomes prime minister. Mitzna is currently the Labor Party’s front runner for the November primary elections.

“The government would earn a lot of money and stop borrowing foreign loans.” Thai legislative-budget-committee member Chai Chidchob, on why Thailand should sell speed pills confiscated by the police

“When you taste it, it’s salty. It’s a miracle.” Dutchman Toon Nieuwenhuisen, on the tears that allegedly appeared on his plastic bust of Elvis last Friday, the 25th anniversary of Presley’s death

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Edward Meixner”

“The popular sentiment around [my] country is ‘One more time, we will be forgotten’.” Mohammed Farhang, Afghan minister of Reconstruction, speaking at Georgetown University on the international community’s waning support for providing aid to his nation

“We have made quite clear that we are seriously concerned with some of the Israeli tactics.” U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher, on the Bush administration’s response to the July 23 Israeli missile attack on an apartment complex housing a suspected terrorist, which also killed 14 civilians

“He made many mistakes in the past, but I feel sorry for him.” A 43-year-old Indonesian housewife named Sarifa, expressing sympathy for Tommy Suharto, 40, son of Indonesia’s former president and dictator. Tommy was sentenced last week to 15 years in prison for hiring two hit men to kill a judge.

“I could only grab children and hold on. We were thrown away, and hands and legs were flying all around us.” A spectator at an air show in Lviv, Ukraine, where a fighter jet crashed, killing at least 70 people on the ground and injuring scores more. The two pilots were able to eject and survived.

“We need democracy… It’s policy No. 1 for us. First thing democracy, second thing democracy, third thing democracy.” Saif el-Islam Kaddafi, son of Libyan leader Muammar Kaddafi, on what Libya hopes to accomplish in the future

“I go to daily mass and it’s mostly old ladies. It’s hard and I sort of feel… alone, but here we’re all here in the spirit of solidarity.” Eighteen-year-old Randy Besco, of Ottawa, commenting on the diverse crowd taking part in the 17th World Youth Day festivities in Toronto

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-21” author: “Debra Griffin”

“I’m actually very shy. I hate to ask directions in the street, and I hate to introduce people at parties.” Catherine Millet, famed French art critic, on her best-selling, autobiographical “The Sexual Life of Catherine M.,” in which she describes countless sexual trysts–often with anonymous partners in public places

“There are editorial writers all over America poised to put pen to paper and condemn me for exercising undue, improper influence if I say too much about it.” Vice President Dick Cheney, on why he is reticent to comment publicly on the Securities and Exchange Commission’s probe into the accounting practices of his former company, Halliburton

“All empires and bearers of the coffin of evil have found themselves buried in their own coffins with their sick dreams when they have sought to harm Arab and Muslim nations.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, commenting in a nationally televised speech on any potential invasion of his country

“Charlton Heston is an old friend, so of course I’m extremely sad to hear that he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.” Nancy Reagan, on the recent announcement by the venerable Hollywood legend

“I don’t have an obligation to see if a person I pass on the street is diabetic. There is no duty to take care of others.” Attorney Warren Dennis, on a landmark case in New Jersey against Kenneth Powell, to whom police had released friend Michael Pangle after a drunk-driving arrest. Just hours later, Pangle, driving alone, killed himself and another man in a head-on collision. Powell was arrested on manslaughter and other charges, and faces up to 15 years.

“I’m going to wear a bulletproof vest.” Georgia GOP congressional candidate John Linder, on what he would wear to his next appearance with opponent Rep. Bob Barr, after hearing that Barr, a board member of the National Rifle Association, had accidentally fired an antique gun while visiting the home of a supporter, not knowing it was loaded

“I don’t think [Osama bin Laden] has the intelligence or the minute planning. The planner was someone else.” Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, on whether the alleged 9-11 mastermind actually did plan the attacks himself

“It is impossible to determine if the lost laptop computers contained national-security or investigative information.” From a report by the FBI inspector general that found that from late 1999 through last January, the FBI, along with four Justice Departmentagencies, lost 775 weapons and a “significant” number of portable computers

“Although [my girlfriend] has done some swimsuit modeling, she has never posed nude, nor does she have any intent to do so.” A statement posted by Tiger Woods on his official Web site after nude pictures, supposedly of Elin Nordegren, were circulated over the Internet

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Gerald Pickle”

“It’s the old ’train on the track’ problem: you don’t know when the train is going to arrive at the crossing point.” The Jet Propulsion Laboratory’s Donald Yeomans, explaining the risk posed by an asteroid predicted by scientists to cross paths with Earth in 2019

“If she’s forgotten about what happened, I’d just as soon it would stay forgotten.’’ Joseph Moore Jr., uncle of Erica Pratt, the 7-year-old girl kidnapped while playing on the street in front of her southwest Philadelphia home who later escaped from her abductors, on how she will deal with the incident

“I’m a fan of [Austin Powers], because doing [007] movie[s] is a half a breath away from parody anyway.’’ Pierce Brosnan, on the rivalry between the James Bond films and Mike Myers’s spy-movie lampoon series

“We have not made a report like this since the current violence began, but we have made quite clear that we are seriously concerned with some of the Israeli tactics.’’ State Department spokesman Richard Boucher, on the Bush administration’s response to the July 23 Israeli missile attack on a Gaza City apartment complex housing a suspected terrorist. The incident killed 14 civilians.

“The only thing I’m embarrassed about is, I have to explain to my two teenage daughters why I wore such a cheap cowboy hat.’’ The Rev. Al Sharpton, who was shown on a government surveillance videotape obtained by HBO’s “Real Sports” discussing the possibility of a drug deal with an undercover FBI agent, on whether he has any remorse about the 1983 conversation, which Sharpton says has been distorted by the tape

“I’ve been drinking palm wine. You shouldn’t [quote me saying] that. But this is a democracy now! So go ahead.’’ Valentine Strasser, former dictator of Sierra Leone, who at 25 was the youngest head of state in the world, on his current situationnow that he is unemployed and residing with his mother

“We deeply regret that information provided by students in good faith was used inappropriately by at least one official in our admissions office.’’ Princeton University spokeswoman Marilyn Marks, after the admissions director at the New Jersey school was caught entering the birth dates and Social Security numbers of applicants to his school into a database set up for applicants to rival Yale University

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Natalie Johnson”

“You’re confusing sex with titillation. You have some repressed sexual ideas.” Jeffrey Arenswald, a Nevada doctor, addressing a Clark County commission during debate of an ordinance that would outlaw lap dances within county limits. The proposed law would not apply to the city of Las Vegas.

“We did not cancel the tour. They canceled on us.” Israel Philharmonic Orchestra chief executive Avi Shoshani, on the cancellation of his orchestra’s three-city U.S. tour after organizers discovered that U.S. security firms were unwilling to guard the 100 musicians for fear of terrorist attacks

“This is not street justice. This is not vigilante justice. This is not justice of any kind.” Chicago Police Superintendent Terry Hillard, on the mob beating that left two men dead after the van they were piloting ran the curb and crashed into a house’s stoop, injuring three women

“She doesn’t know election law. She couldn’t even resign properly.” Bob Poe, head of the Florida Democratic Party, on the retroactive resignation of Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who was required by state election laws–which her office oversaw–to resign after she became legally eligible on July 15 for the congressional seat she intends to seek in the coming election; she did not resign until Aug. 1, but apologized for the confusion

“If they do walk out, make sure it’s September 11. Be symbolic. Let [players’ union head] Donald Fehr drive the plane right into the building.” Cincinnati Reds general manager Jim Bowden, making an analogy between the 9-11 attacks and a potential players’ strike, for which he later apologized

“There’s been all this stuff in the press about what we deserve, and that’s irrelevant. Anyone who can go to his boss and get a raise–and doesn’t–is an idiot.” “Friends” costar Matt LeBlanc, on the cast’s new $144 million contract

“Now he’s a rich fat cat, but when I first knew him in the Nixon White House, he was so poor he couldn’t afford to lose weight because he couldn’t afford a new wardrobe.” Legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans, about whom a biopic was recently released, on Henry Kissinger

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Jennifer Dearcos”

“The forces of evil will carry their coffins on their backs, die in disgraceful failure, taking their schemes back with them, or digging their own graves.” Saddam Hussein, during a speech marking the anniversary of the end of the 1980-88 Iran-Iraq War, offering his prediction on the likely outcome of a U.S. attack on Iraq

“Between us and the goal is the terror posse… The only way to peace is to remove this murderous posse from its political position.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, on the Palestinian Authority and the only solution he sees to end the 22 months of bloodshed, heightened recently with another round of suicide bombings and military strikes

“On the contrary, we have scientific evidence that women who have sex shortly before competing run better. It boosts performance.” Uwe Hakus, trainer of the German men’s sprinting team, on different tacticsto prepare for a race

“I mean, the book is about many other things, too.” Best-selling French author Catherine Millett, on her autiobigraphical novel, “The Sexual Life of Catherine M,” controversial for its litany of orgiastic sex scenes with anonymous men. It has been translated into more than 20 languages.

“The whole Milosevic trial is a joke.” Svetlana Veljasevic, a 56-year-old retired resident of Belgrade, on the televised war-crime proceedings against Slobodan Milosevic, a trial that has been greeted in Serbia with much skepticism

“You never know who’s controlling what… everyone is attacking, everyone is stealing.” Hamadoun Toure, spokesman for the U.N. observer mission in Congo, on the chaotic fighting in northeastern Congo between Congolese rebels and Uganda-backed Hema tribesmen. A peace agreement was signed last week to end Congo’s war with Rwanda, but other factions continue to fight on regardless.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “Jonathan Lajaunie”

“I don’t think it’s very likely a terrorist would seek treatment… [Therapy] is aimed at highly functioning neurotics, not psychopaths.” New York psychoanalyst Gail Saltz, on whether her profession can help root out potential terrorists. The U.S. Justice Department recently announced a plan to encourage civilians to take note of any suspicious activity they may encounter in their everyday work life.

“We did not cancel the tour. They canceled on us.” Israel Philharmonic Orchestra chief executive Avi Shoshani, on the collapse of his group’s planned three-city U.S. tour after organizers discovered that American security firms were unwilling to guard the 100 musicians for fear of terrorist attacks

“We’re becoming another Argentina.” Maurice Lopez, a 45-year-old store clerk in Montevideo, Uruguay, lamenting the current economic crisis sweeping through his country

“Were it not for the conspiracy of these financial institutions and companies, apartheid would not have been possible.” Edward Fagan, a lawyer who is heading a class-action lawsuit against at least seven companies–including Royal Dutch/Shell, IBM and Deutsche Bank–that, through their business dealings in South Africa, gave financial support to the white-led regime at a time when there was an embargo against the country

“I don’t think so. People would have told me.” Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai, on whether there had been a cover-up by the American government after an air raid by the U.S. military in July killed 46 Afghan civilians

“The president of the United States is entitled to a vacation just like everybody else.” White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, on President George W. Bush’s annual August getaway to his ranch in Crawford, Texas. Criticism of the president’s vacation habits has put the White House on the defensive.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Matthew Glick”

“It looks like grits in a fan.” Alabama resident Lisa Cazeno, on the massive snowstorm that caught the South by surprise last week

“Look at the terrible childhood he had… Look at the father he had. I have spent 18 years in total behind bars. That can’t have helped, can it? Every time he needed me, I was nowhere to be found.” Robin Reid, father of accused shoe-bomber Richard Reid, hoping to win sympathy for his son

“Take that, Oregon!” Miami University cornerback Maurice Sikes, after the Hurricanes embarrassed Nebraska to claim college football’s national championship. ‘Canes players insist they would have similarly dispatched the Oregon Ducks, who were relegated to the Fiesta Bowl by the hugely controversial Bowl Championship Series.

“When the phone rings, I almost hate to answer it. Things are different these days.” Tampa, Fla., Mayor Dick Greco, after a single-engine plane was flown into an office building by an unauthorized 15-year-old pilot, who was killed

“Do not fail our people.” Rudy Giuliani’s advice to his replacement, Mike Bloomberg, who took over as New York City’s mayor

“For anything of a sensitive nature, we don’t disrobe.” Kathy Pinckert, vice president of Naked Broadcasting Network Inc., on how stripping news anchors on her pay-per-view TV show handle September 11 stories

“We’re talking about a lot of trauma here.” Medical examiner Stanton Kessler, testifying in the trial of Thomas Junta, the Massachusetts hockey dad accused of beating another father to death at a children’s game

“They should set fire to the whole country… They have sold us out until we have nothing left. I cry for Argentina.” Marta Petachi, an embittered resident of Martinez, Argentina, expressing little hope that new President Eduardo Duhalde will be able to cure the nation’s poverty

“We were out by the pool. We were ready to take cover.” A tourist in Palm Beach County, Fla., who called police after a skywriter wrote GOD IS GREAT overhead. The pilot meant the message to be inspirational, but it caused widespread panic because residents thought it was a terrorist threat.

“We have checked every cave in town and turned up nothing.” Charles Illsley, Police Lieutenant in Utah’s West Valley City, on the surprisingly high number of Osama bin Laden sightings in the state

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Robert Parga”

“They should set fire to the whole country… They have sold us out until we have nothing left. I cry for Argentina.” Marta Petachi, an embittered resident of Martinez, Argentina, expressing little hope that new President Eduardo Duhalde will be able to cure the nation’s economy

“We have checked every cave in town and turned up nothing.” Charles Illsley, police department lieutenant in Utah’s West Valley City, on the surprisingly high number of Osama bin Laden sightings in the state

“Look at the terrible childhood he had… Look at the father he had. I have spent 18 years in total behind bars. That can’t have helped, can it? Every time he needed me, I was nowhere to be found.” Robin Reid, father of accused shoe-bomber Richard Reid, hoping to win sympathy for his son

“We were out by the pool. We were ready to take cover.” A tourist in Palm Beach County, Florida, who called police after a skywriter wrote GOD IS GREAT overhead. The pilot meant the message to be inspirational, but it caused widespread panic when residents thought it was a terrorist threat.

“I don’t think we can be tough enough with people who go out and light fires and get a sense of fulfillment out of the damage… they’ve caused,” New South Wales Premier Bob Carr, on the punishment awaiting arsonists suspected of causing more than 100 fires on Australia’s east coast

“Some people are sure to argue and even fight over being cheated. They’ll wind up in the police station.” Jose Maria Seara, Spain’s national police spokesman, on how it will handle any rowdy customers who don’t trust shopkeepers making change with the just-introduced euro

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “William Watkin”

“All the facts that you know now are just the tip of the iceberg.” A lawyer involved in the Enron bankruptcy, on the energy company’s unfolding financial scandal

“We may never know why he turned his back on our country and our values, but we cannot ignore that he did. Youth is not absolution for treachery.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on charging Taliban fighter John Walker with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens in Afghanistan

“Always chew your pretzels before you swallow.” President George W. Bush’s warning to a heartland crowd after his choking-fainting spell

THANK YOU JAMES EARL RAY FOR KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE. A plaque ordered by Lauderhill, Fla., for its Martin Luther King Day celebration. It was supposed to honor acting legend James Earl Jones, not Ray–the man who assassinated the civil-rights leader in 1968.

“Reassurance is good. Cash is better.” Ahmad Fawzi, spokesman for the United Nations special envoy to Afghanistan, on long-term American support for the nation

“Israel will not remain indifferent when our people are killed… We are going to respond in a manner which will teach the Palestinians a lesson they will not forget.” Israeli government spokesman Avi Pazner, on last week’s suicide bombing at a bat mitzvah. In retaliation, Israel leveled the Palestinian government headquarters in Tulkarem.

“He was a time bomb waiting to go off.” Dr. Jack Briggs, a coroner for Buchanan County, Va., where a suspended student at the Appalachian School of Law apparently went on a shooting spree, killing three and wounding three others. Briggs had treated the alleged shooter, Peter Odighizuwa, for stress.

“Luxury disgusts me.” Billionaire fashion designer Giorgio Armani, on his new proletariat-inspired–though still very expensive–men’s collection

“Everything has changed in America, but Groundhog Day is one way of showing the world we are getting back to normal.” Bill Cooper, president of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club in Pennsylvania, which sponsors Phil’s annual shadow-spotting expedition

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Nickolas Mcmillon”

“Obviously, we’ve been told this is a tough group of people, and we’re prepared to secure them here at Camp X-Ray.” Navy Lt. Bill Salvin, on the Qaeda and Taliban prisoners being detained at a U.S. base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba

“Tall, straight and proud–that was our son. That’s the way he went down.” Bob Bancroft, father of Capt. Matthew Bancroft, one of the seven Marines killed when their plane crashed into a mountain in Pakistan

“This is a serious matter which was resolved within the family and is now in the past and closed.” A St. James’s Palace spokesman on reports that Prince William, 17, spent one day in rehab after allegedly admitted to regularly smoking cannabis and drinking alcohol

“Our enemies rely upon surprise and deception. They used to rely upon the fact that they thought we were soft. I don’t think they think that way anymore.” President George W. Bush, after signing a $318 billion military-spending bill

“Now that the prime minister is home, shouldn’t he stay home and get a grip?” Conservative Party leader Ian Duncan Smith, commenting on British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s frequent travel outside Britain on behalf of the war on terror, during question time in the House of Commons

“We don’t want a country sitting around the table with us… who doesn’t stand for the things we stand for.” Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, whose country has called for Zimbabwe’s suspension from the Commonwealth. Zimbabwe has not yet agreed to allow an international team to oversee its elections in early March.

“The color is quite close to the standard shade of pale turquoise.” Astronomer Karl Glazebrook, on the newly calculated color of the visible universe announced last week

“We were looking for new ways to consume traditional liquor.” A spokesman for Kooksoondang Brewing Co. of South Korea, on “chewable liquor,” a gelatin-based treat the company hopes to market

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Gertrude Mays”

“Goma is literally burned to the ground. We really have a terrible human catastrophe here.” James Mathenge, director of World Vision’s office in eastern Congo, on the city that became engulfed in hot lava after a massive volcanic explosion, displacing tens of thousands of residents

“Our military aren’t just puppets of U.S. officials… All U.S. personnel are under the strict command and supervision of Philippine officers.” Rigoberto Tiglao, spokesman for Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, in an attempt to quell the growing unease over the expected arrival of U.S. troops, who are being sent to the country in an effort to quash Islamic fundamentalist rebels

“We may never know why he turned his back on our country and our values, but we cannot ignore that he did. Youth is not absolution for treachery.” U.S.Attorney General John Ashcroft, on charging American Taliban fighter John Walker with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens in Afghanistan

“We believe in coexistence. I guess Tim Tams are helping that happen.” Israeli businessman Guy Elan, claiming that the Australian chocolate biscuit, popular in both Israel and the Palestinian territories, has helped defuse Middle East tensions

“Israel will not remain indifferent when our people are killed… We are going to respond in a manner which will teach the Palestinians a lesson they will not forget.” Israeli government spokesman Avi Pazner, on last week’s suicide bombing at a bat mitzvah. In retaliation, Israel leveled the Palestinian government headquarters in Tulkarm.

“[W]e have at last arrived at a stage where for the first time in more than 10 years, we can confidently speak about real peace and security.” Sierra Leone President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah, at a ceremony marking the end of his country’s decadelong bloody war

“Luxury disgusts me.” Billionaire fashion designer Giorgio Armani, on his new proletariat-inspired–though still very expensive–men’s collection

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Anthony Hensley”

“Here’s the bottom line: the little guy in America gets the shaft and the people at the top seem to get the elevator and a big ride… They should be handcuffed to a chain-link fence, flogged and jailed.” Ohio Rep. James Traficant, on the Enron bankruptcy scandal now being investigated by the Justice Department

“I want to remind you that communication is not a wrongdoing.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, on news that Enron chairman Kenneth Lay had contacted two members of the Bush cabinet to discuss the company’s money woes

“There was a nun covered from head to toe, and they didn’t make her take it off.” Enaas Sarsour, a Muslim teenager demanding an apology after security screeners at Baltimore’s BWI Airport forced her to publicly remove her head scarf–a violation of the religion’s teachings on modesty

“Our enemies rely upon surprise and deception. They used to rely upon the fact that they thought we were soft. I don’t think they think that way anymore.” President George W. Bush, after signing a $318 billion military-spending bill

“If we go to war, jolly good!” India’s Army chief, Gen. Sunderajan Padmanabhan, declaring that the nation is fully prepared for a large-scale conventional war with Pakistan

“It went around like candy. What’s amazing is how many of these kids took this pill without knowing what it was.” Zach Kassutto, chief physician at a Philadelphia emergency room where 12 middle-school students were admitted after taking stolen Xanax, a prescription antianxiety medication

“You don’t have to be evil and backstabbing and a villain to win this game.” Soccer player Ethan Zohn, “Survivor Africa’s” photogenic “nice guy,” on claiming the show’s $1 million prize

“[Michael Jordan] is a well and able-bodied man who is capable of making suitable provisions for the support and maintenance of the Petitioner.” Juanita Jordan, in divorce papers filed against her superstar husband. She wants half his $398 million fortune.

“Actually [‘sexy’ is] my goal. I’ve always wanted to be a sex symbol, but I never seem to get very far with it.” CBS broadcaster Bob Schieffer, 64, asked whether he would mind being called “sexy.” CNN anchor Paula Zahn was reportedly outraged last week at a mistakenly aired promo that played up her sex appeal.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Claudia Taylor”

“If one hair on the head of Arafat is harmed, the U.S. had better protect its interests around the world… We are not like Osama bin Laden, but we have our own style of response.” Palestinian brigadier Sultan Abul-Aynayn, on U.S. involvement in Israel

“It was a huge mistake… I’m not sure you grasp the gravity of the situation and where this is heading–not only with the media, but with the law enforcement and legal folks.” Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahony, in a leaked e-mail that lambastes his attorney, a nun, for having advised him to withhold names of priests accused of sexual abuse

“I had dreaded this moment along with countless others… She seemed gloriously unstoppable.” A grieving Prince Charles, reflecting on the death of his grandmother, the Queen Mum

“I’m irreplaceable.” Recently ousted PBS analyst and would-be juror Louis Rukeyser, asked by a judge in the Skakel murder trial if he was needed at work

“Well, what was he doing out there?” Judge T. S. Ellis, to defense lawyers contending that John Walker Lindh did not go to Afghanistan to train as a terrorist

“Al Qaeda has many tentacles, but one of them has been cut off.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, on the arrest of top Qaeda henchman Abu Zubaydah

“I’m not sure how many people she turned into readers.” Nancy Pearl, executive director of the Center for the Book at the Seattle Public Library, on whether Oprah Winfrey’s book-club fans read outside the club’s selections. Winfrey announced the closing of the book club last week.

“When you think Phil, you think hip-hop… and we’re going to exploit that at 8 o’clock.” New MSNBC anchor Phil Donahue, onwhy, at 66, he thinks he’s still relevant to younger viewers

“The whole tenor of the thing was out of junior high. You know, ‘Is he going to be there? Is he not? What do I say if he comes?’ " New YorkMagazine writer Michael Wolff, on George Stephanopolous’s first reaction to news that he was scheduled to lunch at the same restaurant as former boss Bill Clinton

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Robert Jenkins”

“Norway has lost an original and spectacular researcher, explorer and adventurer.” Norwegian Prime Minister Kjell Magne Bondevik, on the death of explorer Thor Heyerdahl, who took myriad voyages in reed boats to prove his human-migration theories, makinghim an icon in his homeland

“But this is happening right here in Milan?” Spectator watching a skyscraper burn after a pilot crashed a small plane into its side, killing at least three people in an eerie echo of September 11

“In terms of solid evidence, there wasn’t any. There isn’t now.” U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on reports that Osama bin Laden was at Tora Bora when U.S. forces began their assault there in December

“We saw children looking for their parents. We saw fathers, brothers, sisters digging in the rubble in order to find the corpses of their dear ones.” U.N. envoy Terje Roed-Larsen, on visiting the destroyed Palestinian refugee camp in Jenin

“I have 12 pesos [$4] to last me until the end of the month.” Buenos Aires resident and telecoms worker Maximiliano Lopez, distressed at the Argentine government’s decision on Saturday to close all banks because of an economic crisis

“It now seems that the forces of reason in the South African cabinet have prevailed.” Nathan Geffen, of Treatment Action Campaign, an AIDS lobbying group, on the turnaround of his government’s policy toward fighting the HIV epidemic. Previously, President Thabo Mbeki caused controversy by questioning the connection between the HIV virus and AIDS.

“I mean, it’s not like you’re going to walk around with this thing on, are you?” Tiger Woods, on why his third Masters green jacket will stay in the back of his closet

“I know I ain’t got long to be here, but I pray and trust I see her before I go.” Joe Dabney, on suing American Airlines for “losing” his wife, Margie, an Alzheimer’s patient missing since Dec. 5

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Nanette Ranta”

“We personally thought Asians would love this T shirt.” Abercrombie & Fitch spokesman Hampton Carney, on the retailer’s decision to pull shirts that drew protests over their depictions of Asian stereotypes

“He felt that he was trapped in a marriage that he wanted no part of.” Los Angeles Police Capt. Jim Tatreau, on “Baretta” star Robert Blake, now charged with the May 2001 murder of wife Bonny Lee Bakley

“I mean, it’s not like you’re going to walk around with this thing on, are you?” Tiger Woods, on why his third Masters green jacket will stay in the back of his closet

“I’m 71 years old and I have never had sexual relations with anybody–man, woman or child. And that can go on the record.” Washington Cardinal Theodore McCarrick

“But this is happening right here in Milan?” Stunned spectator watching a skyscraper burn after a pilot crashed a small plane into its side, killing at least three people

“We saw children looking for their parents. We saw fathers, brothers, sisters digging in the rubble in order to find the corpses of their dear ones.” United Nations envoy to the Middle East Terje Roed-Larsen, on visiting the destroyed Palestinian refugee camp in Jenin

“In terms of solid evidence, there wasn’t any. There isn’t now.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on reports that Osama bin Laden was at Tora Bora when U.S. forces began their assault there in December

“Wop bop a loo bop–that’s rock and roll. You don’t have to regurgitate on anybody.” Little Richard, on shock rock

“I know I ain’t got long to be here, but I pray and trust I see her before I go.” Joe Dabney, 63, on suing American Airlines for “losing” his wife, an Alzheimer’s patient missing since a Dec. 5 flight

“I don’t think we should change public policy every time someone is upset.” Enoch, Utah, Mayor Patrick Franks, on the city’s use of a Dodge pickup’s exhaust fumes to euthanize stray animals

“Larry Summers strikes me as the Ariel Sharon of American higher education.” African-American studies scholar Cornel West, on why he is leaving Harvard, where Summers is president, for Princeton

“He said his door is always open for the victim.” Det. Benedetto Cortina Jr., on a 75-year-old man who impregnated a girl, then 10, whom he met through his senior home’s Adopt-a-Godfather program

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Stephanie Juliano”

“This is not just terror. This is a massacre.” Israeli Public Security Minister Uzi Landau, on the Wednesday suicide bombing that killed 22 Israelis as they celebrated Passover

“[I]t’s important for the young in America to understand that when we went into Afghanistan, we went in not as conquerors, but as liberators.” U.S. President George W. Bush

“We ask our counterparts in the international community to respect our sovereignty, and we respect theirs.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on the U.S. decision to seek the death penalty against suspected “20th hijacker” and French citizen Zacarias Moussaoui, despite pleas from France, which banned capital punishment in 1981

I cannot go back in the camp. If officers kill me, if police kill me, good–but don’t send me into the camp.” A 20-year-old Afghan asylum seeker who, along with others, escaped from a detention center in Woomera, Australia

“She was not merely an historical figure. She was history.” Lord St John of Fawsley, on the death of Britain’s Queen Mother

“How can a guy get through a tiny window at the criminal brigade in Paris when here, if they pick up some bloke who’s just nicked a bicycle, he’s automatically in handcuffs?” Jean Leboin, from Nanterre, France, where a man fatally shot eight local-government officials, then leapt to his death while being interrogated by police last Wednesday

“I think it’s grotesque, but I mean the guy must be doing it because there’s a market for it.” Michael Lisowski, on artist David Johnson, who has created bendable doll figurines depicting Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy and other serial killers. Lisowski is a friend of four of Dahmer’s victims.

“We look at this as something to heighten the hearts of Enron employees who are losing their jobs.” Playboy spokeswoman Elizabeth Norris, on the magazine’s upcoming “Women of Enron” issue

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Thomas Kempf”

“Somehow it moved.” Los Angeles International Airport spokesman Harold Johnson, on the parked American Airlines 767 that rolled 60 feet, smashing into a fence and blocking a side street

“Biology class used to be about cutting up critters and looking at their innards. Now it’s all molecular. It’s about DNA and double helixes.” Dallas high-school science teacher Richard Taylor, in support of high schools’ new approach of teaching physics before biology

“I’m going to die.” French cameraman Gilles Jacquier, after being shot at a West Bank refugee camp. He was treated and released.

“She wanted to do her service like the other girls.” Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations Yehuda Lancry, on his niece, who turned down an offer to study dance in London to serve in the military. She died in a suicide bombing of a bus on Wednesday.

“The government has abandoned its functions.” Venezuela National Guard Gen. Alberto Camacho Kairuz, announcing that the armed forces had ousted President Hugo Chavez and taken control of the country

“If the Catholic Church in America does not fit the definition of organized crime, then Americans seriously need to examine their concept of justice.” Arthur Austin, on the scandal rocking the Roman Catholic Church. He claims he was sexually abused by a priest.

“And so, in my State of the–my State of the Union–or state–my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation–I asked Americans to give 4,000 years–4,000 hours over the next–the rest of your life–of service to America.” President George W. Bush, on his community-service initiative

“If this legislation was in place a year ago, Enron’s hardworking employees would not have to shed their skivvies in Playboy to supplement their retirements.” Florida Rep. Mark Foley, on the new bipartisan pension-protection law

“Nothing is more important to England’s arrangements for the World Cup than the state of David Beckham’s foot.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on his hopes for England’s 26-year-old, injured team captain’s return to play in the World Cup opener on June 2

“It’s just fun sitting on Hollywood Boulevard watching the freaks and the tourists walk by.” “Star Wars” fan Steve Elms, on waiting in line–already–for the next “Star Wars” movie, opening May 16

“Extreme old age.” Britain’s Queen Mother’s official cause of death

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Duane Mathews”

“What did this administration know and when did it know it, about the events of September 11th?… What do they have to hide?” U.S. Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, who wants to investigate whether President George W. Bush had prior knowledge of the terrorist attacks

“And so, in my State of the–my State of the Union–or state–my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation–I asked Americans to give 4,000 years–4,000 hours over the next–the rest of your life–of service to America.’’ President Bush, on his community-service initiative

“All this is past for me, I have a daughter to educate and am no longer in public life.” Former Haitian Army major general Jean-Claude Duperval, who was suspected of killing dozens under dictator Raoul Cedras. Until recently, Duperval was working at Walt Disney World in Florida.

“The government has abandoned its functions.’’ National Guard Gen. Alberto Camacho Kairuz, announcing that the armed forces had ousted President Hugo Chavez and taken control of Venezuela

Hair Schroder. Headline for a Times of London editorial commenting on German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder’s tonsorial credibility gap. Schroder, who faces an election later this year, is suing DDP news agency for suggesting he dyed his hair.

“Nothing is more important to England’s arrangements for the World Cup than the state of David Beckham’s foot.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on his hopes for England’s 26-year-old, injured team captain’s return to play in the World Cup opener on June 2

“Extreme old age.’’ Britain’s Queen Mother’s official cause of death

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Keri Lewis”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Donald Snethen”

“The refugee policy of [Swiss] authorities contributed to the most atrocious of Nazi objectives–the Holocaust.” Prof. Jean-Francois Bergier, who headed a panel of historians in a study to determine Switzerland’s role during World War II. The Swiss sent thousands of Jewish refugees back to Nazi Germany.

“It’s quite a gulp, I must say.” A spokeswoman for Lady Margaret Thatcher, on the prospect of the former prime minister’s ceasing to give public speeches. After suffering a series of strokes, the 76-year-old Thatcher was told by doctors that she can no longer take part in speaking engagements.

“What nonsense I have just come out with.” Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, unaware his microphone was still on, referring to a 25-minute speech he had just given to the European Parliament

“We’ll deal with Saddam Hussein, and he knows that.” U.S. President George W. Bush

“People might call you ‘Taliban’ or ask if you have anthrax.” Najwa Awad, a Palestinian-American high-school student in Virginia, on the “terror humor” that students are using post-September 11

“I’m very happy that after a period of five years I can go back to school.” Nasibah, a 12-year-old Afghan, expressing delight at returning to class. Banned from attending school by the Taliban, Nasibah and her female classmates are learning math designed for 7- or 8-year-olds.

“Mr. Lindh’s clothes were cut off him…and he was bound tightly with duct tape to a stretcher. Still blindfolded and completely naked, he was then placed in a metal shipping container.” A statement by the lawyers for John Walker Lindh, the American who fought with the Taliban and was apprehended last November. The lawyers’ report details alleged abuses by U.S. authorities against Lindh when he was in military custody.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-22” author: “Lawrence Potter”

“My life is very complicated… There is so much stuff going on that it is astounding, it really is.” Recording artist Michael Jackson, on why he had trouble recalling details in a $21 million lawsuit that accuses him of pulling out of two millennium concerts

“I’m no psychic, but I can foresee this: if you make deceptive claims, there is an FTC action in your future.” Howard Beales, director of the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Protection Bureau, on an agreement whereby Miss Cleo’s psychic hot line had to cancel $500 million in customer bills to settle federal charges of fleecing callers

“I probably wish I was liked as much as them. That would be nice… Unfortunately, that’s never going to happen.” National League MVP Barry Bonds, comparing his popularity to that of other sports icons

“In selecting its next targets, sources suggest Al Qaeda may favor spectacular attacks that meet several criteria: high symbolic value, mass casualties, severe damage to the American economy and maximum psychological trauma.” A message, posted by the FBI, warning of possible attacks

“It’s like Colonel Sanders suing Kentucky Fried Chicken.” The Comics Journal editor Michael Dean, on “Spider-Man” creator Stan Lee’s filing a $10 million lawsuit against Marvel. Lee says Marvel owes him 10 percent of the company’s profits due to a 1998 employment contract.

“I’m the biggest animal lover in the world. I was just doing my job. I’m a model.” Gisele Bundchen, on four fur protesters who rushed the catwalk at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The show featured only faux fur.

“I said, ‘What did you do in the White House, you just watched movies every night?’ That’s what he used to do. He used to watch movies almost every night to wind down at the White House while he was there, so he’s seen everything.” Actor Kevin Spacey, on former president Bill Clinton

“They were pretty blatant about it. Right there on the sidelines.” University of Montana photographer Todd Goodrich, on photographing several Sacramento State players spraying each other with nonstick cooking spray to help avoid tackles

“Stay away from drugs, don’t drink and drive, don’t do anything you’re not supposed to do, go to school and eat your vegetables.” Singer Bobby Brown, dispensing advice to the public at his appearance in criminal court to face charges of driving under the influence, speeding and having no proof of insurance

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Arthur Sadler”

“I’m very pleased to be hosting the Oscars again, because fear and nausea always make me lose weight.” Actor-comedian Steve Martin, on being chosen as the emcee for the 75th Academy Awards next year in Los Angeles

“They wanted to kill as many Americans as possible. They hate Americans.” Indonesian investigator Gen. I Made Mangku Pastika, relating the sentiments of a suspect in custody for the Bali bombing that killed 180 people, including seven Americans

“It is not a European country.” Former French president Valery Giscard d’Estaing, on Turkey, whose entry into the European Union he opposes

“He’s been away 20 to 30 years. He wants to surrender.” Attorney Stuart Hanlon, on James W. Kilgore, the last member of the 1970s terrorist group the Symbionese Liberation Army to be arrested. Kilgore had been living in South Africa.

“Canadian citizens have a right to be treated as Canadian citizens.” Bill Graham, Canada’s Foreign Affairs minister, on reports that Canadians born in the Middle East were being singled out at the U.S. border

“It’s a shame he went nuts, but I couldn’t let this little beggar hold the town to ransom.” Geoff Horth of Knutsford, England, on killing a crazed squirrel that had bitten his 2-year-old granddaughter on the face and attacked other residents of the town

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “William Brown”

“Is there time to get to where they need to go and back? I doubt it.” Pam Heeren, Hubbard County, Minn., auditor, on those who wanted to change their absentee votes after Sen. Paul Wellstone’s death

“I don’t feel comfortable being in the same room with him.” Indiana Congresswoman Julia Carson, before abruptly leaving a debate with her Republican challenger, Brose McVey

“We didn’t think Fresno, for example, would consider it.” California Milk Processor Board executive director Jeff Manning, on offering the mayors of 20 small towns a “meaningful contribution” to schools if the towns would change their name to Got Milk, Calif.

“If you think that the only way I can make a record is by cussing, then I’ll make a different record to outsmart you and prove you wrong.” Rapper Eminem, on writing his lyrics

“I hope that this war will not take place because this will lead to a catastrophe in the whole area of the Middle East.“Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, on any U.S. strike against Iraq

“He was a screwball then and a screwball now. He was not a good soldier. On a scale of 1 to 10, he was a 3 at best.” Former Capt. Rick Martin, on sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad

“Another fallen angel.” Angela Young, J Records’ A&R coordinator, on DJ Jam Master Jay, who was shot and killed near the New York neighborhood where he grew up

“It’s probably the most popular thing that I’ve ever introduced.” New York City Councilman Philip Reed, on a bill that would fine anyone $50 who dials up or fails to turn off a mobile phone’s ringer during an indoor performance

“I’ve had enough of those strange vibes here that I don’t like sticking around after it gets dark.” Raleigh, N.C., capitol historian Raymond Beck, on the state’s sending researchers from the Ghost Research Foundation to conduct a paranormal screening of the 162-year-old Capitol

“We park a garbage truck outside the office. And we have a staff member empty the candy out of the bags into the truck. That’s our way of screening for rocks. It’s subtle, but effective.” Santa Rosa, Calif., dentist Stephen Berger, on paying children $1 per pound for their Halloween candy to make a point about good dental hygiene. He averages 1,500 pounds of treats a year.

“He gets all excited when I’m getting my gear ready. He’s totally up for it.” Delray Beach, Fla., resident Ron Sirull, on sky-diving with his dachshund, Brutus, whom he tucks into a pouch on his chest

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Marco Holcomb”

“I am very happy that it exploded.” Arrested Bali bombing suspect Amrozi, on the nightclub blast that killed more than 190 people

“The first thing that needs to be done in the next government is to expel this man.” Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel’s newly appointed foreign minister, on Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat

“If you seriously want to become a radical Islamist and are ready to undergo circumcision, I invite you to come to Moscow. We’re a multidenominational country.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, responding to allegations that Moscow is killing civilians in its war against separatist rebels in Chechnya

“A lot of the problems we are having to deal with now are a consequence of our colonial past.” British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, linking present-day conflicts in Israel and Kashmir with the policies of the former British Empire

“A dead terrorist has a right to be treated fairly and the right to a decent burial.” Bettina Rohl, daughter of 1970s German radical Ulrike Meinhof, whose brain was removed for study by scientists

“I’ve done my bit.” Italian M.P. and Benito Mussolini’s granddaughter Alessandra Mussolini, who is expecting her third child, on the pope’s call for Italians to have more babies

“I have no sympathy for her, even in death.” Winnie Johnson, whose 12-year-old son was among five children murdered in the 1960s by Myra Hindley, a.k.a. the Moors Murderer. Hindley died last week while serving a life sentence in a British jail.

“We’re attempting to find skates and equipment to fit him.” Larry Linde, general manager of the Indianapolis Ice professional hockey team, on signing 7-foot-7 Manute Bol, a Sudanese-born former NBA player

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Robert Boldt”

“It is appropriate–it is imperative–that the ultimate sanction be available for those convicted of these crimes.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on trying the suspected snipers in Virginia because Justice Department officials believe the state offers the best chance of securing the death penalty

“It’s easy to find fault and it’s easy to criticize. In a partisan environment, criticism often devolves into attack.” SEC chairman Harvey Pitt, assailing the critics that eventually led him to resign, at a Securities Industry Association annual meeting in Boca Raton, Fla., last Friday

“For a lot of these kids, the emotional gas pedal in their brain is in high gear and the braking system is not yet developed.” National Institute on Media and the Family president David Walsh, on the national trend of teens’ trying to outdo the antics of Johnny Knoxville in “Jackass”

“I want to make a contribution… I don’t have any great need to be in public office, but I don’t want to sit on the sidelines, either.” Former Colorado senator Gary Hart, on possibly rerunning for the presidency in 2004

“But much like a manager of a baseball team who really, really wants to win is beloved by his players but simply can’t win–sometimes it’s time to move on.” Rep. Harold Ford, on Rep. Dick Gephardt’s not seeking another term as House minority leader

“It’s been a very successful night for the Republican Party, for the president of the United States and for the country at large.” Sen. Bill Frist, on the Republican Party’s winning a majority in the Senate, gaining seats in the House and winning governor’s races in what had traditionally been Democratic Party states

“He’s been away 20 to 30 years. He wants to surrender.” Attorney Stuart Hanlon, on James W. Kilgore, the last member of the 1970s terrorist group the Symbionese Liberation Army to be arrested. Kilgore had been living in South Africa, teaching English in Cape Town.

“Because the show is stupid, and if I started talking about serious issues in the middle of the show, no one would take it seriously.” Talk-show host Jerry Springer, on why he doesn’t want to talk about significant matters on his show

“Everyone round here is living in fear… I’ll never trust squirrels again.” Knutsford, England, resident Blanche Kellye, on a squirrel that has attacked several city residents

“Let them know that there is no proper way to kill and cook these beautiful birds.” Vegan musician Moby, urging people to call Butterball’s Talk-Turkey Line, which the company set up to offer turkey-cooking techniques

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Charles Finkenbinder”

“We, as blacks, have to let the movie studios know that when he is wrong, we’re willing to speak out for ourselves.” James Stern, chief executive of the National Association of Cosmetologists, on asking the Rev. Jesse Jackson to apologize for demanding an apology from the makers of the movie “Barbershop”

“To my left is Douglas Forrester, Republican for U.S. Senate. To his right is an empty chair.” New Jersey radio news director Eric Scott, announcing a debate between Forrester and opponent Frank Lautenberg, who declined to appear

“If Republicans are able to either keep the House or win back the Senate, we would make history by defying history.” White House political director Ken Mehlman, on the fact that only twice since 1934 has the president’s party added seats in midterm elections

“No one understood anything. They thought it was all part of the play.” Olga Veselova, an actor who escaped through a dressing-room window from a Moscow theater where Chechen rebels took 700 people hostage

“We have only ourselves to blame. We let these silver-tongue devils pee on our legs and then tell us it is only raining.” Marrero, La., resident Ken Vicknair, on former Louisiana governor Edwin W. Edwards, who just began serving a 10-year sentence for racketeering, extortion and fraud

“Paul Wellstone was a man of deep convictions, a plain-spoken fellow, who did his best for his state and for his country.” President George W. Bush, on the Minnesota senator who died when his campaign plane crashed in the north part of his state

“Jeb is gone!” Democratic National Chairman Terry McAuliffe, saying his No. 1 goal is to defeat Gov. Jeb Bush in Florida

“It was never about the money. No money would pay for you having sleepless nights with the pain.” Virgin Atlantic passenger Barbara Hewson, on the [Pound sterling]13,000 ($20,000) she was awarded for injuries she obtained while being squeezed next to an obese passenger

“I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I’m the most nervous guy in the world, a frightened little man on red alert from when I wake until I go to sleep. I was born with fear.” Rock star Ozzy Osbourne, on himself

“Sonny just laid by my side. He knew something was bad.” Minnesota resident Michael Murray, on being accidentally shot in the ankle by his dog while pheasant hunting in South Dakota

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Mitchel Carter”

“Diana’s capacity to embarrass the royal family is beyond belief–even from the grave!” Simon Perry, who covers the royals for People magazine, after the case against the princess’s former butler Paul Burrell was thrown out. Burrell was accused of stealing royal-family possessions.

“Being Jordan is like being married to three husbands.” Naser M. Tahboub, a former political-science professor, on the country’s balancing act in the debate over war against Iraq

“If half of you stay home, we’ll be out of business on Wednesday morning, and so will you.” Former U.S. president Bill Clinton, at a church in Maryland, where he urged black voters to turn out at the polls

“I want it all back–every cent for every toy, every blanket, every bit of food.” An unidentified Australian man, on suing his ex-girlfriend for more than $10,000 for items he had bought a little girl, after DNA tests revealed that she was not, as he believed, his daughter

“He was a screwball then and a screwball now. He was not a good soldier. On a scale of 1 to 10, he was a 3 at best.” Former U.S. Army Capt. Rick Martin, on sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad

“It really was a tiny boat on a very big ocean.” Richard Thomas, commander of the frigate HMS Grafton, on the rescue of Lenny Leon Peter, who had been adrift in the Atlantic for 26 days after his speedboat broke down off the coast of Guadeloupe

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Ronny Smith”

“I have not yet used the four-letter word.” A senior U.S. State Department official, on whether the Bush administration considers “dead” a 1994 agreement with North Korea suspending weapon-producing nuclear reactors

“Obviously both the Indian leaders are living in a world of make-believe.” Pakistan’s Foreign Ministry spokesman, Aziz Ahmed Khan, responding to allegations by Indian Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee and his deputy minister that Pakistan continues to sponsor cross-border terrorism into India

“I had a lovely military flight, thank you.” Comedian Robin Williams, on his arrival in Afghanistan last week to entertain U.S. troops

“It’s cold out, it’s overcast, but I haven’t seen a more glorious day in this area for quite a while.” Linda Rivera, loading groceries outside the Shoppers Food Warehouse in Wheaton, Maryland, where the sniper took his first victim

“Jeb is gone!” Democratic Party National Chairman Terry McAuliffe, saying his No. 1 goal is to defeat the president’s brother Gov. Jeb Bush in Florida

“I hope all the people who promised me their votes will give them to me.” Faiyza al-Zayani, a rare female candidate, on her hopes for victory as Bahrainis prepared to vote in their first legislative elections in nearly 30 years

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Jose Davis”

“Neighbors be damned. My feelings about Presas haven’t changed.” Robert Noel, a man on trial for involuntary manslaughter, in a letter to his adopted son written shortly after his dog, a Presa Canario, killed his neighbor Diane Whipple

“If this woman doesn’t meet the test of insanity in this state, then nobody does. We might as well wipe it from the books.” George Parnham, a defense attorney for Andrea Yates, to the Texas jury in closing arguments. Yates was convicted of capital murder and sentenced to life in prison last week.

“Even if our present woes in the archdiocese were suddenly to disappear, these questions have taken on an urgency and will not slip quietly away.” An editorial in the official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Boston, questioning whether celibacy should continue to be required of Roman Catholic priests

“A nuclear war to be imposed by U.S. nuclear fanatics would mean their ruin in nuclear disaster.” North Korea’s response to press reports of the Pentagon’s latest nuclear-weapons review listing that country as a possible target

“It’s much better than the past. Now, if one Israeli is killed, it equals only three Palestinians.” Dr. Nizar Rayan, a leader of the Islamic group Hamas, on the state of the Mideast conflict. Fifteen years ago, the ratio was roughly one Israeli for every 25 Palestinians killed.

“If we’re not safe in a church, that’s pretty bad. This is where people get peace.” Karen Aker, on last week’s shooting at her church in Lynbrook, N.Y., where a priest and another parishioner were killed during mass

“I hope that they are genuinely happy, whatever they are… But if I were to pick, would I rather have my children have to go through the struggles of being gay in America, or being heterosexual? I would say heterosexual.” Rosie O’Donnell, to Diane Sawyer last week

“She’s very passionate about issues, wants to help children and families have a better life, and I know from our many conversations how much she loves Tennessee.” Sen. Hillary Clinton, referring to Tipper Gore, who is said to be seriously considering running for the Senate

“Sell your dollars, because America will be finished soon!” Ahmed Omar Saeed Sheikh, indicted in the United States for orchestrating the murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, as he left a Pakistani courtroom last week

“Nothing on this show tonight can equal to the greatest moment in television so far this decade–held last night on Fox!” Conan O’Brien, referring to Fox’s “Celebrity Boxing” special that featured Tonya Harding and Paula Jones in the ring

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Donald Darling”

“If you declare war against the Palestinians thinking that you can solve the problem by seeing how many Palestinians can be killed, I don’t know that that leads us anywhere.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, responding to Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, who said last week, “The aim is to increase the number of losses on the other side. Only after they’ve been battered will we be able to conduct talks.”

“She was always watching them, protecting them.” Jutta Kennedy, telling the jury how her daughter Andrea Yates behaved around her children

“I think our network is in very strong shape, and Dave would do well to continue to be with us.” Leslie Moonves, president of CBS Television, on his network’s attempt to keep David Letterman from moving to ABC

“Today the people of the Central Valley stood up for their values, the values that are central to their lives.” Assemblyman Dennis Cardoza, after defeating Rep. Gary Condit in last week’s California primary. Voter discontent over Condit’s relationship with missing intern Chandra Levy ended his 30-year political career.

“You guys just paved the way for a lot of Ph.D.s in the years to come.” Astronaut Richard Linnehan, from inside the space shuttle Columbia, to his fellow spacewalkers after they installed a $76 million advanced camera inside the Hubble Space Telescope. The camera will observe more of deep space than ever before.

“There is no question that the recent controversy has caused many on the staff to lose confidence in my ability to steer this organization.” Former Harvard Business Review editor Suzy Wetlaufer, on the consequences of her alleged affair with profile subject and business guru Jack Welch. She has resigned from her position as editor.

“I really don’t do anything to my backside.” Australian pop star Kylie Minogue, reacting to tabloid reports that she’s had plastic surgery to improve her posterior

“The kids are also doing term papers on the effects of oxygen deprivation and presenting them in class.” Mandarin Middle School principal Joy Recla, regarding 11 students who were suspended from the Florida school for purposely passing out in class as part of a fad

“I’ve never designed a doghouse, let alone a memorial.” Retired wastewater operator Dennis Downs, who wants to use debris from Ground Zero to build a memorial in Waterloo, Iowa, honoring the victims of September 11

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Jerry Luiz”

“I’m very upset. I [had hoped] to leave that thing behind me and get on with my life. But unfortunately it seems that is not the case.” Haitian immigrant Abner Louima, on news that a federal appeals court had overturned the convictions of three New York police officers involved with his attack at a Brooklyn station house

“I have not lied to the Congress or anyone else about my recollection of events while I was at Enron.” Former chief executive officer Jeffrey Skilling, during congressional hearings on Enron’s collapse

“NEWSWEEK is totally–it’s all run by Jews and dominated by them in their editorial pages. The New York Times, The Washington Post, totally Jewish, too.” President Richard Nixon, in a 1972 conversation with the Rev. Billy Graham, who replied, “Yes, sir. I can’t ever say it, but I believe it.” On Friday, Graham apologized for his comments.

“I feel like 45. I don’t look too bad for someone my age, with my history of illnesses and operations and all those anesthetics. When they knock you out, it gives you time to catch up on your beauty sleep.” Actress Elizabeth Taylor, on turning 70

“Call off the dogs, please. I apologize. I am chastened and will never use ‘hot tub’ and ‘Marin County’ in the same sentence again.” Former president George Bush, in an apology to Marin County, Calif., residents for describing American Taliban fighter John Walker Lindh as “some misguided Marin County hot-tubber”

“I am the warden. Get your warden off this gurney and shut up.” Convicted killer Monty Delk, after the warden asked him if he had any final statement before being given a lethal injection. Delk’s execution took place hours after a federal appeals court lifted a stay imposed in order to hear from mental-health experts.

“Being Irish, if you get eight nominations and got no awards they wouldn’t let you back in the country, so this is a public-safety issue.” U2 lead singer Bono, joking about winning a Grammy award

“I don’t know how I did it. I just lifted. It didn’t feel that heavy. I really think it was adrenaline.” Donna Stilwell, who at 5 feet 2 inches and 110 pounds lifted the family van, which had fallen on her husband while he was working underneath it

“New Yorkers are the most nasty, miserable s.o.b.s in the world. We live to give people hostile messages and flip fingers, but based on this New York statute, all we can say is ‘Have a nice day’.” Porn baron Al Goldstein, who faces two years in prison after he was convicted of harassing his former assistant

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-02” author: “Mark Baker”

“A nuclear war to be imposed by U.S. nuclear fanatics would mean their ruin in nuclear disaster.” North Korea’s response to American press reports that the Pentagon had recommended developing new nuclear weapons tailored to strike at targets in the country

“Inmates of the [concentration] camps had numbers tattooed on their bodies. How can Jews do something comparable to their own prisoners?” British M.P. Gerald Kaufman, on Israeli troops’ putting identification numbers on the foreheads and forearms of Palestinian captives

“We had words. I couldn’t believe he’d go to [the Muslim world] after 9-11. He said, ‘Mom, I’ll be safe’.” Sherry Aude, whose son, Erik Aude, 21, was apprehended at the Islamabad airport for having eight pounds of raw opium in his suitcase. His mother says he is innocent and was duped by a man who hired him as a courier to transport leather goods.

“I don’t see any theory under which she’s going to end up with $450 million.” Divorce attorney Sarah Oldham, speculating on the divorce proceedings of General Electric CEO Jack Welch and his second wife, Jane. It was recently disclosed that Welch was having an affair with Harvard Business Review editor Suzy Wetlaufer.

“It’s much better than the past. Now, if one Israeli is killed, it equals only three Palestinians.” Dr. Nizar Rayan, a leader of the Islamic group Hamas, on the state of the Mideast conflict. Fifteen years ago, the ratio was roughly one Israeli for every 25 Palestinians killed.

“Sell your dollars, because America will be finished soon!” Ahmed Omar Saeed Sheikh, indicted in the United States for orchestrating the murder of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, as he left a Pakistani courtroom last week

“We found arms, legs, a rib cage–imagine if we missed something?” A New York City law-enforcement officer, on cleaning out cars recovered from the World Trade Center. City officials hope to auction off the cars.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Rosa Escoto”

“It is just about the Republican right wing in America trying to finish off the job that the first George Bush failed to do.” British Labour M.P. Martin Salter, on why he and other members of his party are against American military action in Iraq

“Before, we had no rights, but now we have rights and we’re celebrating this fact.” An Afghan woman named Zarmina, on taking part in Afghanistan’s first International Women’s Day in 11 years

“You guys just paved the way for a lot of Ph.D.s in the years to come.” Astronaut Richard Linnehan, from inside the space shuttle Columbia, to his fellow spacewalkers after they installed a $76 million advanced camera inside the Hubble Space Telescope. The camera will observe more of deep space than ever before.

“What a question to ask a Dutchman!” European Central Bank president Wim Duisenberg, when queried about whether the proper English plural of the new European currency is “euro” or “euros”

“I’m used to it. I’ve had it like this since I can remember.” Bosnian Serb farmer Cvjetan Gavric, on why he won’t cut his hair. His wavy gray mane has often led him to be stopped by authorities, who think he bears a striking resemblance to war-crime fugitive Radovan Karadzic.

“Maybe we’ve just redefined inhumanity here.” Prosecutor Richard Alpert, on the actions of Chante Mallard, a Texas nurse’s aide accused of hitting a man with her car, driving home with him lodged in her broken windshield, and ignoring his pleas for help while he bled to death in her garage for two days

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Yolanda Bell”

“All the world’s people, including the people of China, should be free to choose how they live, how they worship and how they work.” President George W. Bush, in China after 90 minutes of talks with President Jiang Zemin

“The federal government’s recommendation about mammography is clear: women in their 40s and older should be screened every one to two years with mammography.” Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy G. Thompson, on new federal guidelines for breast-cancer screening

“Lord Jesus, I don’t know how they could go to bed at night with all that outside their window.” Former Nobel, Ga., resident Sheila Horton, on the discovery that the Tri-State Crematory had been discarding dead bodies throughout its property for about 20 years

“Without Russia, the Olympic Games would be lost.” Russian International Olympic Committee vice president Vitaly Smirnov, on threats that Russia would pull out of the Salt Lake City Games

“‘I realized that it was time to be punished… for not being a good mother.” Andrea Yates, in her confession to a homicide detective that she drowned her five children

“My next goal is to get in the high 1500s on my SATs.” Sixteen-year-old figure skater Sarah Hughes, after a surprise victory for the Olympic gold medal

“I think it will take years before we can repair the damage done by that statement.” Former president Jimmy Carter, on President Bush’s “axis of evil” comments

“We should use a rifle on Ohno. It’s absurd that the Korean was disqualified.” Italian Fabio Carta, who finished fourth in the disputed 1,500m short-track speed-skating final

“This is not the evil axis. This is a little misunderstanding.” Barbara Walters, denying a reported rift with Diane Sawyer over an interview with talk-show host Rosie O’Donnell

“Yes, it’s like, I know I’m lying, but it’s just gonna make my life so much easier.” Actress Tara Reid, when asked by Maxim magazine if lying is ever OK. Reid is expected to testify in the Lizzie Grubman assault trial.

“I just felt, like, everyone was overreacting. People were going on about it. That part really annoyed me.” Author Elizabeth Wurtzel, to a Canadian journalist about her September 11 experience

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Steve Kirk”

“I said to them, ‘I would advise you not to smoke… It is not good for you. You are better off not smoking’.” Martin Broughton, executive chairman of British American Tobacco, in an interview with The Times of London, describing his warning to his young children

“Everybody here knows we are just a group of old Christians. We want nothing from society but an explanation why this happened to us.” Chen Zhongxin, 63, manager of a Northern Beijing old folks’ home, on the government’s decision to cut off the home’s electricity. China wants to evict the group for its illegal practice of Christianity

“Think big.” President Richard Nixon, in a conversation with Henry Kissinger in 1972, suggesting his next move in Vietnam. The taped conversation was recently released and reveals that Nixon considered but rejected using nuclear weapons

“Do you still throw spears at each other?” Britain’s Prince Philip, to Aboriginal businessman William Brim on his recent trip to Australia. Buckingham Palace insists the queen’s husband, notorious for his often-insensitive comments toward foreigners, was simply trying to be humorous. Brim said he found it “quite funny.”

“In the case of the use of a weapon of mass destruction, the federal government would be able to do its job and continue to provide key services and respond.” Joseph W. Hagin, White House deputy chief of staff, on the recently formed “shadow government,” whose members have been deployed to underground bunkers in case of a terrorist attack

“You are denying me my basic human needs. You are depriving me of two hours of fresh air every day.” Slobodan Milosevic, complaining to The Hague court judges about his long days in the courtroom

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Troy Mcknight”

“Danny’s senseless murder lies beyond our comprehension. Danny was a beloved son, brother, an uncle, a husband and a father to a child who will never know him.” The family of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl,in a statement released after the confirmation of his death

“I would like to stress that I never compared Arafat with Hitler.” Czech Prime Minister Milos Zeman, who seemed to suggest, during an Israeli TV interview, a likeness between the Palestinian and Nazi leaders. Zeman blamed his “awkward English” for what he called a “misunderstanding.”

“[Islam] is not a peaceful religion that wants to coexist. They want to coexist until they can control, dominate and then, if need be, destroy.” American evangelist Pat Robertson, announcing his disdain for Islam on his TV show, “The 700 Club”

“We should use a rifle on Ohno. It’s absurd that the Korean was disqualified.” Italian Fabio Carta, who finished fourth in the disputed 1,500-meter short-track speed-skating final

“I think it will take years before we can repair the damage done by that statement.” Former president Jimmy Carter, on President George W. Bush’s “axis of evil” comment

“We’re not guerrillas. We only had to live next to them.” Maria Oliva Torres, mayor of Meseta, Colombia, on fears that invading government troops will mistake her town’s citizens for rebel-army supporters, who were based in and recently fled the area

“Without Russia, the Olympic Games would be lost.” Russian International Olympic Committee vice president Vitaly Smirnov, on threats that Russia would pull out of the Salt Lake City Games

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Juan Johnson”

“Grave scandal is caused with the result that a dark shadow of suspicion is cast over all the other fine priests who perform their ministry with honesty and integrity and often with heroic self-sacrifice.” Pope John Paul II, in a letter about the recent pedophile scandals in the Roman Catholic Church

“If you’re weird, people might call you ‘Taliban’ or ask if you have anthrax.” Najwa Awad, a Palestinian-American student at J.E.B. Stuart High School in Virginia, on the “terror humor” that students are using post-September 11

“A heterosexual husband.” Elton John, joking about the perfect wedding present for Liza Minnelli, who recently wed producer David Gest

“I kept looking at the spot where she was sitting. There’s not much more to say.” Columbus Blue Jackets left wing Epsen Knutsen, following his first hockey game since his slap shot hit 13-year-old Brittanie Cecil in the stands. Cecil died two days after getting hit and is believed to be the first fan to die from being struck by a puck at an NHL game.

“I don’t want to see this country go that way. You know what happened to the Greeks. Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates.” President Richard Nixon, in 1971, after expressing his view that Meathead from the popular ’70s sitcom “All in the Family” was bisexual

“It was really tense, with each girl in a stall, and a teacher we all knew outside listening for the sound of urination.” Lindsay Earls, describing her discomfort when taking a mandatory drug test at her high school. Earls is at the center of a Supreme Court case that challenges her Oklahoma school’s drug policy of randomly testing students who participate in extracurricular activities.

“It’s not often that I’m rendered speechless and I’m sure that the affliction will not remain with me very long.” Sen. John McCain, after the Senate passed the campaign-finance bill that would prohibit national political parties from raising soft money. McCain, along with Sen. Russell Feingold, first introduced the legislation in 1995.

“Like a guy juggling different girlfriends, we told them all they were No. 1.” Maxim senior editor James Heidenry, on the 13 different cities the magazine named the “Greatest City on Earth.” Each city received the edition in which it topped the list.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-14” author: “Loretta Williams”

“If the U.S. has minimum levels of fairness and bravery, it should accept the report.” Hussan Mohammed Amin, head of Iraq’s National Monitoring Directorate, which produced an 11,807-page report claiming the country has no weapons of mass destruction

“Kim Jong Il can be called a gourmet.” Excerpt from “Orient Express” by Konstantin Pulikovsky, an account of a monthlong train ride through Siberia with the North Korean leader last year. According to the book, the eccentric Kim favors imported wines and fresh lobster, among other delicacies.

“History will not forgive you.” Recep Tayyip Erdogan, the head of Turkey’s ruling Ankara party, rejecting the EU’s proposal to open membership talks in 2005. Erdogan has asked for talks to begin in 2003.

“Had the survivors demanded, say, only 200,000 rubles [about $6,000], there would have been no problem with the city authorities.” Lawyer Igor Trunov, who is representing eight survivors of the Chechen theater hostage crisis in a lawsuit against the government. The plaintiffs are asking for a total $7.5 million in compensation.

“I feel greatly for those sympathizers of the revolution who like to bend the elbow from time to time.” Cuban head of state Fidel Castro, addressing a crowd of Cuban medical students about the hazards of alcohol

“She called me names for months before I snapped and hit her.” Sandra Fry, 55, a regular at the Castle Bingo Hall in Bridgend, Wales, after throwing a punch and breaking a rival 58-year-old player’s nose during a fistfight for the so-called lucky chair. Fry and her rival, Lynn Want, were banned for life.

“Winona may be a double felon, but she’s a double felon with a heart.” Mark Klaas, father of murdered kidnapping victim Polly Klaas, on actress Winona Ryder’s shoplifting conviction. Ryder offered unsolicited aid to the Klaas family in the wake of their loss in 1993.

“The reality is, Bigfoot just died.” Michael Wallace, son of Ray L. Wallace, who is credited with creating the myth of the apelike creature by making 16-inch footprints in the snow. The elder Wallace died last week of heart failure.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Amy Randell”

“States like these, and their terrorist allies, constitute an Axis of Evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world.” President George W. Bush, in his State of the Union address, on Iraq, Iran and North Korea

“After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad.” Bush, on his justification for removing Saddam Hussein from power

“They were either asleep, or inept, or both.” Sen. Richard Shelby, on the FBI’s lack of action after receiving warnings of possible terrorists who had enrolled in U.S. flight schools

“Muhammad was a terrorist.” The Rev. Jerry Falwell, in a series of comments that inflamed the Muslim world

“These are murderers. It’s not suicide, it’s murder.” White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, on his use of the term “homicide bomber”

“We have to give Tom Ridge a real job.” Democratic Rep. Jane Harman, in support of a bill increasing Ridge’s power as homeland-security chief

“I wouldn’t be surprised if right now he was interviewing his captors and coming up with one hell of a story.” Glenn Drohan, a former editor of kidnapped Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, before evidence of Pearl’s murder at the hands of Islamic terrorists came to light

“We have said we are not going to harm Mr. Arafat personally. We usually stand by our word.” Israeli spokesman Raanan Gissin, on Israeli shelling of Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat’s offices

“You will be killed just as you kill, and will be bombed just as you bomb.” New audio recording received in November and identified by U.S. experts as the voice of Osama bin Laden. A Swiss team disputed the conclusion.

Who knew the World Trade Center was gonna get bombed Who told 4000 Israeli workers at the Twin Towers To stay home that day Why did Sharon stay away? Line from Amiri Baraka’s poem “Somebody Blew Up America.” Baraka, the poet laureate of New Jersey, was asked to step down.

“I’m a follower of Osama bin Laden. I’m an enemy of your country, and I don’t care.” British citizen Richard Reid, pleading guilty to trying to blow up a transatlantic flight with bombs in his shoes

“To be in an eight-by-eight cell in beautiful, sunny Guantanamo Bay is not inhumane treatment.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, defending the treatment of Afghan detainees at the U.S. naval base in Cuba

POLITICS

“He had the equivalent of two presidencies in one week.” White House chief of staff Andy Card, on Bush’s reaction to the Republican victory in the midterm elections and the U.N. Security Council’s support of his disarmament policy on Saddam Hussein

“It should be interpreted as a criticism of the line that the current administration has taken.” Nobel Prize committee chair Gunnar Berge, on former president Jimmy Carter’s 2002 Nobel Peace Prize

“He never promised me a Rose Garden.” Sen. John McCain, on Bush’s quiet signing of the campaign-finance-reform bill

“The laws of the state of New Jersey do not contain a ‘we think we’re going to lose so we get to pick someone new’ clause.” Republican Senate candidate Douglas Forrester, on his opponent Robert Torricelli’s exit from the race after illegal campaign contributions came to light. Torricelli’s replacement, Frank Lautenberg, defeated Forrester.

“I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over all these years, either.” Senate Republican leader Trent Lott of Mississippi, on the 100-year-old senator’s 1948 campaign, which advocated segregation. Despite Lott’s apologies, the controversy engulfed him.

“Of course, we are one nation under God.” House Speaker Dennis Hastert, on a federal appeals court decision that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional because of the words “under God”

“What you’ve got is everything–and I mean everything–being run by the political arm. It’s the reign of the Mayberry Machiavellis.” Former White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives head John DiIulio, complaining that the Bush administration put more emphasis on politics than policy. He later apologized.

BUSINESS

“You can get rid of Harvey Pitt tomorrow, and you’re still going to have the problem.” New York Rep. Charles Rangel, on the possibility of firing the chief of the Securities and Exchange Commission in the wake of corporate scandals. Pitt resigned four months later.

“They should be handcuffed to a chain-link fence, flogged and jailed.” Ohio Rep. James Traficant, on the Enron bankruptcy scandal. Traficant himself was thrown out of office in July for charges related to bribery, racketeering and tax evasion.

“We’re going to miss him. Ha, ha, ha.” Ted Turner, on chief executive Gerald Levin, who left AOL Time Warner after orchestrating the merger that cost the company billions

“When it comes to his own records, the motto is: ‘The buck stops over there’.” Democratic National Committee Chair Terry McAuliffe, on questions regarding President Bush’s former business dealings with Harken Energy

“I want to focus on my salad.” Martha Stewart, chopping cabbage while answering questions about the ImClone insider-trading scandal on “The Early Show” with Jane Clayson

“We are committed to operating WorldCom in accordance with the highest ethical standards.” Statement from WorldCom CEO John Sidgmore, on bankruptcy and a federal investigation of the company’s inflated profits

SOCIETY

“Dear Policeman: I am God.” Message on a “death” tarot card found in Maryland near the scene where a 13-year-old boy was shot as part of a sniper spree that left 13 dead and 5 wounded. Drifters John Muhammad, 41, and John Lee Malvo, 17, were arrested two weeks later.

“The cardinal had some selective amnesia.” Mark Keane, who says he was sexually abused by priest John Geoghan, on why Boston’s Cardinal Bernard Law testified he did not remember receiving letters detailing the abuse. Law resigned in December.

“It was a stupid thing to do and Ill never do it again and I feel real sorry for anyone who thinks they can use heroine as a medicine because um, duh, it don’t work. Drug withdrawal is everything you’ve ever heard … It’s evil. Leave it alone.” Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain, in a diary entry written in rehab in 1992. Tormented by addiction, Cobain killed himself two years later. His diaries were published in 2002.

“No, nothing like that yet.” “American Idol” Kelly Clarkson, on whether she was dating runner-up Justin Guarini. She added that the “yet” was a slip-up.

“I hate these studies.” Sammy Stevens, 60, a Prempro user for seven years, after a trial found that hormone-replacement therapy for menopause made women more vulnerable to heart trouble

“I do hope we get the bronze, too, so we can get the entire collection.” Canadian skater David Pelletier, on being awarded an Olympic gold medal after a French judge confessed to rigging the competition in favor of the original Russian gold medalists

“I always thought it was good for you.” Caesar Barbar, who is overweight, on fast food. Barbar is part of a class-action lawsuit against McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC for selling food that makes people fat

“Don’t go to the swamp at night. You’ll have to tie yourself to your boat because those mosquitoes will pick you up and carry you away.” Coerte Voorhies of Lafayette, La., on the mosquitoes’ spreading the West Nile epidemic that seized the state and surrounding areas

FREE WINONA. Popular T shirt made after actress Winona Ryder was arrested for shoplifting $5,000 worth of goods from Saks Fifth Avenue. Ryder was convicted of grand theft, fined and sentenced to community service.

“I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I’m the most nervous guy in the world, a frightened little man on red alert from when I wake until I go to sleep. I was born with fear.” Rock and reality star Ozzy Osbourne, on “freaking out” after meeting Queen Elizabeth II

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Brian Gilmer”

“They are damaging our economy with baseless claims.” Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, on a travel warning issued by the U.S. State Department for his country

“Saddam loves to eat fish, especially ones he caught himself. Fishing with grenades seems to do the trick.” Narrator in a documentary about the Iraqi president made by French filmmaker Joel Soler

“People who love freedom are one person safer as a result of finding this guy.” George W. Bush, on the capture of high-ranking Qaeda member Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri

“At the end of the day, when all their responsibilities have been fulfilled, Singaporeans just feel too tired to perform.” Victor Goh, an obstetrics professor at the National University of Singapore, on a new study highlighting the country’s declining sexual habits

“It was rather bizarre, what he did. But Michael’s a bizarre person.” Joerg Diestel, a 17-year-old Michael Jackson fan from Berlin, after Jacko dangled his baby son outside a three-story-high hotel window

“You would have to suck it out like toothpaste from a tube.” Roger Elliot, manager of the Rotterdam-based SMIT salvage company, on retrieving the oil from the sunken Prestige oil tanker, which went down off the coast of northern Spain

“It took a long time. I was about to hit stop, but then, boom! The in box appeared.” Freelance journalist Brian McWilliams, on gaining access to one of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein’s e-mail accounts after correctly guessing the password

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Timothy Devalle”

“One thing is clear, this has nothing to do with electricity.” Paik Jin-hyun, a professor at Seoul National University, on North Korea’s decision to reactivate its nuclear-reactor program

“In Tel Aviv, we get these things all the time. If it’s a bomb, the robot removes it in five minutes. You have a lot to learn here.” Israeli graduate student Guy Grossman, on 37 black boxes inscribed with the word “fear” found in the New York City subway. Investigators are speculating that the prank may be the work of disgruntled transit workers ahead of a possible strike.

“[The omissions are] big enough to drive a tank through.” An unnamed U.S. official, on a 12,000-page report compiled by Iraq on its weapons program. American intelligence agencies say the report fails to account for certain chemical and biological agents.

“I think I already have.” Hazel Luther, 113, of Daytona Beach, Florida, on whether she wants to live forever

“The chancellor won’t leave the ship.” German Chancellor Gerhard Schroder, denying rumors that he was under pressure to resign. Approval ratings for his ruling Social Democrat Party have dropped 10 percentage points to 28 percent since his re-election in September.

“As commander in chief, I do not believe I can ask others to accept this risk unless I am willing to do the same.” U.S. President George W. Bush, who last week ordered 500,000 military personnel and other Americans in high-risk parts of the world to be vaccinated against smallpox. The president will also undergo inoculation.

“I went from nothing to a pile of money as high as the World Trade Center. And then just like the World Trade Center–poof!–it was gone overnight.” Media mogul Ted Turner, on the declining value of his stock, mostly since Time Warner merged with AOL two years ago

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Brenda Marciano”

“I am not ashamed of who I am–not one bit.” U.N. weapons inspector John (Jack) McGeorge, on his prior affiliation with the sadomasochistic groups the Black Rose and the Leather Leadership Conference. He is also the former chairman of the U.S. National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.

“Oh God, he’s done it again.” Orella Savoriani, whose son Stefano threatened to blow up a Paris-bound plane from Bologna with a television remote control. The 29-year-old, who has a history of mental illness, had also hijacked an Air France flight to Paris from Marseilles in 1999. No explosives were found onboard.

“As I have good reason to believe, Jacques Chirac is not the type to become a quiet 70-year-old. Thank goodness!” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, in a letter to the French president, celebrating the latter’s birthday in an attempt to smooth over strained relations between the two countries

“I urge the public-transport owners to stop playing music and movies during journeys.” Pakistani minister Muhammad Akram Durrani, on imposing a stricter observance of Islam in buses, most of which are equipped with a television monitor and speakers

“Public morals? What are those?” Mexico City lawmaker Francisco Solis, on posing for a political-magazine photograph wearing only the logo of his National Action Party as a fig leaf

“When I saw him last he was in excellent health.” Amer Aziz, a Pakistani doctor who claims to have met Osama bin Laden last year, disputing rumors that the Qaeda leader is suffering from a kidney ailment

“I don’t like pop music.” Michael Jackson, a.k.a. the King of Pop, in an interview with the German magazine Bunte. Jackson bought only classical music on a recent trip to a Berlin CD store.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-04” author: “Micheal Grande”

“Right now I’m fulfilling my contract… I’m 100 percent sure that after this I’m done.” Michael Jordan, on returning for a third year with the Washington Wizards

“Stab someone for no reason then set them on fire, throw them off of a cliff, watch them suffer and with their last breath, just before everything goes black, spit on their face.” Passage labeled “Satan’s mission for you this week,” posted on the Internet by a Michigan high-school student. A federal judge ruled that suspending the student is a violation of free speech.

“Public morals? What are those?” Mexico City lawmaker Francisco Solis, on posing for a political-magazine photograph wearing only the logo of his National Action Party as a fig leaf

“We will go where the facts lead us.” Former secretary of State Henry Kissinger, on his appointment to head the investigation into Washington’s intelligence failures prior to the September 11 attacks

“It’s like going to a very inexpensive spa.” Former Providence, R.I., mayor Vincent Cianci Jr., on reporting to a federal prison in Fort Dix, N.J., to serve a five-year, four-month sentence for heading a bribery scheme out of City Hall

“New York is a town of big mouths. If we chill dissent and stop being the city of big mouths, the nation loses something vital, even if it doesn’t realize that now.” Former New York Civil Liberties Union director Norman Siegal, on New York’s police commissioner wanting to give officers more elbow room to photograph, tape and infiltrate political and social organizations to uproot terror networks

“Dear Governor-elect Racine, congratulations to you, your family and staff on your recent election! I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to one of the most rewarding and challenging jobs in America.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, in a letter accidentally issued to Doug Racine, who lost Vermont’s election

“At Theo’s age, Alexander the Great was already general manager of the world.” Leslie Epstein, on his 28-year-old son, Theo Epstein, being employed as the 10th general manager of the Boston Red Sox

“It is my goal to be a future, undisputed bantamweight champion. My proven athletic ability and competitive nature will help this dream become a reality.” Former Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding, on her debut as a professional fighter before the Feb. 22 Mike Tyson-Clifford Etienne bout

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Carolyn Hubbard”

“I take it as a serious relationship; obviously, we are engaged. I take that seriously–we are trying to get to know each other.” “The Bachelor” winner Helene Eksterowicz, on whether she will marry new fiance Aaron Buerge. Buerge has requested a prenuptial agreement.

“I hope it doesn’t change us radically–we’ve always been living close to the edge–and I’m such a tightwad.” Poetry magazine Editor in Chief Joseph Parisi, on inheriting $100 million from Ruth Lilly, a woman whose poetry was rejected by the magazine in the 1970s

“This is football. People get hurt all the time, and you can’t blame it on the soup.” Terrell Davis, former Broncos running back, on “The Chunky Curse.” Davis, a former pitchman for Campbell’s Chunky Soup, retired due to injury, one of several NFL players hawking the soup to have fallen on hard times.

“What would Mohammed think? In all honesty, he would probably have chosen a wife from among them.” Isioma Daniel, editor of Lagos-based newspaper ThisDay, in a front-page article on the Miss World pageant. The statement caused rioting, leaving more than 100 dead and prompting organizers to move the show to London.

“They give him a ‘slow puncture,’ meaning he will die over a period of time.” Judicial Inspectorate of Prisons director Gideon Morris, on South African prison gangs’ using HIV infection, transmitted through rape, as punishment

“No, no, he’s a friend of mine. He’s not a moron at all–he’s a friend. I had a good time with him today.” Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, on reports that his chief spokesman, Francoise Ducros, called President George W. Bush a moron

“I made a terrible mistake… I would never intentionally endanger the lives of my children.” Michael Jackson, on dangling his 9-month-old son out a fourth-floor balcony to show him to fans

“Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George: Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.”

Excerpt from “Hu’s on First,” a take on the classic Abbott and Costello sketch, currently being circulated on the Internet

“It took a long time. I was about to hit stop, but then, boom! The in-box appeared.” Freelance journalist Brian McWilliams, on gaining access to one of Iraqi President SaddamHussein’s e-mail accounts after correctly guessing the password

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Emily Fitzpatrick”

“It is not my intention to make an example of you.” Superior court Judge Elden Fox, sentencing actress Winona Ryder to three years’ probation, 480 hours of community service and ordering her to get psychological and drug counseling for stealing $5,500 in merchandise from a Saks Fifth Avenue store last year

“Two, four, six, eight, pay me more to gyrate!” Members of the Exotic Dancers Union, picketing San Francisco’s Lusty Lady, the nation’s only unionized peep show, for increased wages

“The whole town is in uproar. Tampering with the bunker is going too far, and its loss is a tragedy.” David Malcolm, a former captain of the New Course at St. Andrews, on the course’s trust changing the pot bunker that has bedeviled even some of the world’s best golfers

“I’ve always been a thin girl. I am not going to be fat, ever. Let’s get that straight. Whitney is not going to be fat, ever.” Whitney Houston, denying reports that she has an eating disorder

“It has been a privilege to serve the nation during these challenging times. I thank you for that opportunity.” Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill, in a resignation letter to the president

“I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had of followed our lead we wouldn’t of had all these problems over all these years, either.” Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, at the 100th-birthday party of South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond, who ran for president in 1948 as a segregationist

“We don’t have to be more liberal, but we do have to be more relevant in a positive way.” Former president Bill Clinton, addressing Democratic leaders for the first time since their midterm election losses

“If you want the story, you’ve got to get inside the heart of it.” Snow scientist Ed Adams, on learning how to predict avalanches by setting them off and then putting himself directly into their paths so he is buried alive

“Our No. 1 obligation is to make sure that those that have a warrant are in jail, and to see some of them receiving public assistance is a little bit of a surprise.” Washington State Patrol Deputy Chief Steve Jewell, on the state Department of Social and Health Services’ sending welfare checks to fugitives

“I didn’t always understand what they were saying in the movie, but it’s a slice of real life. And I grew up in a very poor neighborhood, so I totally relate to that part of music today. That’s a big part of me, that kid playing in the street.” Barbra Streisand, on Eminem’s new movie, “8 Mile”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Betty Dennard”

“After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad.” Bush, on his justification for removing Saddam Hussein from power

“To be in an eight-by-eight cell in beautiful, sunny Guantanamo Bay is not inhumane treatment.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, defending the treatment of Afghan detainees at the U.S. naval base in Cuba

“I didn’t know who Osama bin Laden was … He could have been a character on ‘Star Wars’ for all I knew.” U.S. Department of Agriculture official Johnelle Bryant, on her failure to report September 11 hijacker Muhammad Atta as suspicious after he praised the Qaeda leader while applying for a government loan

“I knew he wasn’t real pilot material–he had actually studied his manuals and didn’t talk to girls.” Flight instructor Clancy Prevost, on his experience with alleged September 11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui

“I don’t want a banana republic. I want a real country.” Afghan President Hamid Karzai, expressing his hopes for his emerging nation

“You will be killed just as you kill, and will be bombed just as you bomb.” Audio recording received in November and identified by U.S. experts as the voice of Osama bin Laden. A Swiss team disputed the conclusion.

“Bush wants to distract attention from his domestic political problems. That’s a favorite method. Hitler did that, too.” German Justice Minister Herta Daubler-Gmelin, criticizing Washington’s plans to invade Iraq She subsequently lost her Cabinet post.leader Yasir Arafat’s offices

“In my opinion, it would be the end of Europe.” Former French president Valery Giscard d’Estaing, on the prospect of Turkey’s joining the EU

“No one understood anything. They thought it was all part of the play.” Olga Veselova, an actress who escaped through a dressing-room window from the Moscow theater where Chechen rebels took 700 people hostage

“If we have to go to war, jolly good!” India’s Army chief, Gen. Sunderajan Padmanabhan, on his country’s cross-border standoff with nuclear rival Pakistan

“We have said we are not going to harm Mr. Arafat personally. We usually stand by our word.” Israeli spokesman Raanan Gissin, on Israel’s shelling of Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat’s offices

“Dear Policeman: I am God.” Message on a “death” tarot card found in Maryland near the scene where a 13-year-old boy was shot as part of a sniper spree that left 13 dead and five wounded. Drifters John Muhammad, 41, and John Lee Malvo, 17, were arrested two weeks later.

“Everyone has their own reasons to be here. I’m not sure what they are.” Teenager Sean Madden, on protesting at February’s World Economic Forum meeting in New York

“We’re going to miss him. Ha, ha, ha.” Ted Turner, on chief executive Gerald Levin, who left AOL Time Warner after orchestrating the merger that cost the company billions

“I do hope we get the bronze, too, so we can get the entire collection.” Canadian skater David Pelletier, on being awarded an Olympic gold medal after a French judge confessed to rigging the competition in favor of the original Russian gold medallists

“I want to focus on my salad.” Martha Stewart, chopping cabbage while answering questions about the ImClone insider-trading scandal on CBS’s “The Early Show” with Jane Clayson

“How about Cindy Crawford? We would love to see one of the supermodels.” International Space Station commander Valery Korzun, suggesting an alternate space tourist to ‘N Sync’s Lance Bass. Bass’s hopes of becoming the next civilian in space have been postponed until April.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Ella Messinger”

“The game is over.” President George W. Bush, on his administration’s growing impatience with Iraq

“It’s not a game. It’s not over.” French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin, responding to Bush’s comment

“If we had a relationship with Al Qaeda and we believed in that relationship, we wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, refuting Secretary of State Colin Powell’s claims to the U.N. Security Council that Iraq has ties to Osama bin Laden’s terrorist organization

“This is just amateurish and embarrassing. How on earth did they think they would get away with it? This stuff is trawled over by everyone in the Western Hemisphere.” Menzies Campbell, Liberal Democrat spokesman on foreign affairs, on the fact that parts of a British intelligence dossier on Iraq were plagiarized from an academic journal and Jane’s Intelligence Review

“We don’t want any American tourists. We don’t want any tourists at all.” Zapatista “Gabriel,” on his rebel group’s opposition to foreign investment and ecotourism in Chiapas, Mexico

“The seats were built for backsides of a Victorian era, not of a modern era–or indeed an American size.” British lawmaker Chris Bryant, on the need to make London’s West End theaters more accommodating to American tourists

“They are not bad or a banner for anti-Christian ideology. They help children understand the difference between good and evil.” The Rev. Peter Fleetwood, a Vatican official, announcing that the Holy See considers the “Harry Potter” books suitable for children

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Shelly Lehnen”

“These seconds are always spinning around in my head… One second is like 20 years. I can’t explain it. It’s hell, hell in the sky.” Eliezer Wolferman, father of Israeli astronaut Ilan Ramon, on learning that the Columbia astronauts likely knew they were going to die between 60 and 90 seconds before the craft disintegrated

“[I] felt a profound sense of sadness at what happened. It’s horrible. A golf tournament, even a fun one, it didn’t matter. It took the fun out of it for me.” CNN lead anchor Aaron Brown, on staying at a California golf tournament instead of working when the space shuttle Columbia disintegrated

“Someone is watching too much ‘L.A. Law’.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, after being peppered with questions about military tribunals at a Pentagon briefing. “L.A. Law” has been off the air since May 1994.

“If we had a relationship with Al Qaeda and we believed in that relationship, we wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, rebutting Secretary of State Colin Powell’s claims to the United Nations Security Council that Iraq has ties to Al Qaeda

“I ought to feel good. They wanted the same amount for the speaker’s name as they did for mine.” Florida Rep. Adam Putnam, on being one of several victims of an Internet extortion that threatened to link congressmen’s domain names to a racist organization

“Why can’t you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone… It’s very charming. It’s very sweet. It’s what the whole world should do.” “King of Pop” Michael Jackson, admitting to sleeping in his bed with several children who were not his own

“President Putin is on the right.” BBC caption, distinguishing a picture of Russian President Vladimir Putin from a picture of the “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” computer-generated character Dobby

“We were at war. They were an endangered species.” North Carolina Rep. Howard Coble, on his belief that interning Japanese-Americans during World War II was for their own protection

“Look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country.” North Carolina Rep. Sue Myrick, referring to Arab-Americans in talking about domestic security threats

“I’m white and she’s Puerto Rican. That’s what’s underneath, although nobody says it because it’s not politically correct.” Actor Ben Affleck, on his belief that the media fascination with him and fiancee Jennifer Lopez is race-related

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-04” author: “Gary Nelson”

“We realize that today marks one step in the process of building not only the new department but continuing on a daily basis to better protect our fellow citizens and our way of life. We also realize we have a long way to go.” Tom Ridge, after being sworn in as Homeland Security secretary

“She had the ability to be such an incredible comedic musical-theater actress, blow a song all the way to the back of the wall and then come down and be so intimate and beautiful in a ballad.” Broadway actress Audra McDonald, on the death of Nell Carter, 54, who was best known as the feisty housekeeper in “Gimme a Break!” and for her Tony-award-winning performance in “Ain’t Misbehavin’ "

“I hope he breaks down. I want him to cry.” Washington Wizards assistant coach Patrick Ewing, on what he expects when Michael Jordan is introduced for the final time as a player at the United Center

“If they come, September 11, which they are crying over and see as a big thing, will be a real picnic for them, God willing. They will be hurt and pay a price they will never imagine.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein’s eldest son, Uday Hussein, on American plans to invade Iraq

“Cool down. We are good friends and allies.” German Foreign Minister Joschka Fischer, on Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld calling France and Germany part of “old Europe” and “a problem” in their opposition to military action in Iraq

“There are pluses and minuses. The plus is that I’m known by everybody. The minus is that I’m known by everybody.” Talk-show host Jerry Springer, on considering running as a Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate next year

“Make it a priority in any New Year’s resolutions you make from 2003 onwards, to cease forthwith your criminal activities.” Excerpt from a letter from Wiltshire, England, Police Inspector Geoff Miles to persistent offenders, asking them to mend their ways

“I think they actually felt so sorry that I made less. I explained to them that I made $12,000 to $15,000 last year. They were like, ‘We can’t tell America you made $12,000 to $15,000’.” Evan Marriott, a.k.a. Joe Millionaire, claiming he makes less than the $19,000 per year Fox has advertised he makes as a construction worker

“It’s the connotation. No one wants to be part of the mark of the beast.” Carlene Light, an office worker at Kentucky Mountain Bible college, on why the nondenominational Christian college is fighting to change its telephone number prefix, 666, to a second prefix, 693, that was recently added to the area after all the 666 numbers were taken

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “William Vaughan”

“The course of this nation does not depend on the decisions of others.” President George W. Bush, warning of Washington’s impatience with the United Nations in his State of the Union address last week

“If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America.” Former South African leader Nelson Mandela, condemning the United States’ belligerent attitude toward Iraq

“I realize it was very stupid of me. I will not do it again… I had obviously turned off the sound.” Trond Helleland, a Norwegian M.P., apologizing for playing a war game on his pocket computer while the legislators around him debated the possibility of a real war with Iraq

“You’re not going to stand me down. You’ll go down… Your flag will come down and so will your country.” Richard C. Reid, who pleaded guilty to trying to blow up a transatlantic flight with explosives concealed in his shoes, after being sentenced to life in prison

“Perhaps the Internet, as a very young child, needs the interventions of a saint all the more.” James P. Moroney, an expert on prayer and worship for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, on Italian Roman Catholics’ launching a search for a patron saint of the Internet

“Would the academy please defer the honor until I am 80?” Peter O’Toole, in a letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, on being selected to receive the lifetime-achievement Oscar

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Gary Hiemstra”

“Fight the agents of the Devil. God will give us victory.” Audiotaped voice believed to be Osama bin Laden’s, calling on Muslims throughout the world to unite behind Iraq

“She wasn’t going to recover. It was kinder to euthanize her.” Scotland’s Roslin Institute’s Ian Wilmut, on 6-year-old Dolly, the world’s first cloned animal, who was given a lethal injection after veterinarians discovered she had a progressive lung disease

“History will occur when institutions actually hire a woman to coach a men’s team and give her all the opportunities to build a program.” Tennessee State athletic director Teresa Phillips, on becoming the first woman to coach a major college’s men’s basketball team after the current coach was suspended for one game

“I don’t want to pick up the paper and read about another fight, unless it’s in the boxing ring.” Colorado Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, a member of the 1964 U.S. Olympic judo team, on the management crisis in the U.S. Olympic Committee

“[A] certain amount of denial is frankly a necessary and positive thing, or else you’d be miserable and freaked out and not be able to work.” New York Psychoanalytic Institute spokeswoman Gail Saltz, on the nation’s heightened state of alert

“We are comforted by the knowledge we have brought our seven friends home.” Bob Cabana, director of flight-crew operations at the Johnson Space Center, on NASA officials’ positively identifying the remains of all seven Columbia crew members

“It doesn’t mean the same thing. You wouldn’t say, ‘He’s a vernacular term that denotes the rear end of a horse’.” Lawyer John Widell, on a Thurston County, Wash., superior court judge’s changing the wording on a proposed citizens’ initiative that asked voters to declare antitax activist Tim Eyman a “horse’s ass”

“The American president prefers the classic style of shoe in calfskin, while the Iraqi leader is more adventurous, using various skins and materials.” Shoemaker Vito Artioli, on selling his Italian leather shoes to both George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein

“To me, your mother has never been an abstraction. You have never been an abstraction to me.” Former member of the Symbionese Liberation Army William Harris, in an apology to Jon Opsahl, whose mother was killed by Harris and three other SLA members during a bank robbery in 1975. The apology took place in a courtroom last Friday, after the four former radicals were sentenced to prison for the murder.

“Michael and I were devastated… It looks as though all I did that day was eat.” Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, testifying against a tabloid that printed a wedding picture of husband Michael Douglas putting a forkful of cake into her mouth with the headline CATHERINE EATER JONES

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Terry Mendoza”

“While Mrs. Bush understands the right of all Americans to express their political views, this event was designed to celebrate poetry.” Statement from the First Lady’s press office, on the postponement of Laura Bush’s “Poetry and the American Voice” after the White House learned that several poets wanted to use the event to speak out against war with Iraq

“You’re a loser!” Sydney Simpson, 17, to her father, O. J. Simpson, while on the phone with the 911 operator she called after the two got into an argument

“I realize it was very stupid of me. I will not do it again… I had obviously turned off the sound.” Trond Helleland, a member of Norway’s Parliament, apologizing for playing a war game on his pocket computer while the legislators around him debated the possibility of a real war with Iraq

“That’s the way of saying this is an issue the international community isn’t going to duck. The U.N.’s got to be the way of dealing with this issue, not the way of avoiding dealing with it.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on getting a second U.N. Security Council resolution before launching military action

“You’re not going to stand me down. You’ll go down. You will be judged by Allah. Your flag will come down and so will your country.” Richard Reid, who pleaded guilty to trying to blow up a transatlantic flight with explosives concealed in his shoes, on being sentenced to life in prison

“You are a terrorist, and we do not negotiate with terrorists. We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.” Federal District Court Judge William G. Young, to Reid

“Everyone needs patrons in the kingdom of heaven, and perhaps the Internet, as a very young child, needs the interventions of a saint all the more.” James P. Moroney, an expert on prayer and worship for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, on Italian Roman Catholics launching a search for a patron saint of the Internet

“[Since I am] still in the game and might win the lovely bugger outright, would the academy please defer the honor until I am 80?” Peter O’Toole, in a letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, on being selected to receive the lifetime-achievement award

“You’ve never met me; you don’t know me. You’ve never been to my house. You don’t live with me. You don’t sleep with me. All you do is talk about me.” Whitney Houston, after New York radio personality Wendy Williams asked personal questions during an interview that was supposed to promote Houston’s new album

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “April Barney”

“Fight the agents of the Devil. God will give us victory.” Audiotaped voice believed to be that of Osama bin Laden, calling on Muslims throughout the world to unite behind Iraq

“She wasn’t going to recover. It was kinder to euthanize her.” Ian Wilmut, of Scotland’s Roslin Institute, onthe death of 6-year-old Dolly the sheep, the world’s first cloned animal. She was given a lethal injection after veterinarians discovered she had a progressive lung disease.

“We cannot in good conscience take to the field and ignore the fact that millions of our compatriots are starving, unemployed and oppressed.” Zimbabwean cricketers Andrew Flower and Henry Olonga, in a joint statement, issued at the start of their opening World Cup match against Namibia

“Michael and I were devastated… It looks as though all I did that day was eat.” Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, testifying against a tabloid that printed a wedding picture of Michael Douglas putting a fork full of cake into her mouth with the headline CATHERINE EATER JONES

“The American president prefers the classic style of shoe in calfskin, while the Iraqi leader is more adventurous, using various skins and materials.” Shoemaker Vito Artioli, of Tradate, Italy, on selling his luxury leather shoes to both George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein

“Most of the time, censorship is adequate if only some portions of the film require [it], but if too much censorship is required, making the film meaningless, it is best banned.” Malaysia’s Deputy Prime Minister Chor Chee Heung, after the country banned the action movie “Daredevil,” starring Ben Affleck

“He used to be such a nice person; now he’s gotten old and harsh. He better not start a war.” Margarete Rumsfeld, 85, a distant German relative of U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who fed him chicken soup, pork roast and German beer when he visited her in 1976

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Iola Kline”

“This looks to me like a rerun of a bad movie. And I’m not interested in watching it.” President George W. Bush, on U.N. inspectors who are demanding more time to check for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

“Nobody is forced to eat at McDonald’s. Except, perhaps, parents of small children who desire McDonald’s food, toy promotions or playgrounds.” Judge Robert W. Sweet, dismissing the lawsuit brought against the fast-food giant by overweight American teenagers, who blamed their condition on its food

“Our socialist motherland is sure to win as our soldiers, who have grown to be one match for a hundred fighters in the crucible of the arduous revolution, are firmly standing guard of the forefront with arms in hands to wipe out the enemy.” North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, on the outcome of any war between his country and the United States

“It makes a lot of sense. You can always update your car or a computer, but you just can’t update teeth.” American Dental Association spokesman Dr. Richard Price, on a recent survey that ranked the toothbrush as the best invention of all time

“Fair enough, sir.” London resident Paul Kelleher, after a judge set him free on bail and ordered him to return to court for sentencing. Kelleher was found guilty of decapitating a statue of former prime minister Margaret Thatcher with a metal bar. He told the court he believed the statue represented the ills of the world’s political system.

“There are pluses and minuses. The plus is that I’m known by everybody. The minus is that I’m known by everybody.” TV talk-show host Jerry Springer, on considering running as a Democratic candidate for the U.S. Senate next year

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Darlene Escamilla”

“We need a serious attempt to develop a postwar plan in Iraq and not more shoot-from-the-hip one-liners.” Democratic presidential candidate Dick Gephardt, responding in a statement to Bush’s comment

“I know there is a man producing a film on the Nazi concentration camps. I shall put you forward for the role of Kapo [a guard chosen from among the prisoners]. You’d be perfect.” Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, responding to criticism from German M.E.P. Martin Schulz, in comments that sparked outrage in Europe

“I’m worried about every kind of freedom–the government can arrest you any time they want.” Hong Kong resident Sarah Ng, on why she joined massive July 1 protests against proposed new security legislation that provides for long jail terms for sedition and treason

“The best thing we can do right now is not get in the middle of this family fight too deeply.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, on what Washington’s position should be in the struggle between Iran’s conservatives and reformers

“You won’t have Charles Taylor to kick around anymore.” Liberian government official Samuel Jackson, on the Liberian strongman’s intention to step down from power

“People who smile three times a day should make it six.” A Thai Culture Ministry spokeswoman, on a new campaign to encourage Thais to smile more in an effort to boost tourism, which has been hard hit by SARS and the Bali terror attacks

“No law was broken with the intercourse on the motorway. It’s a situation lawmakers never thought about.” Cologne, Germany, court spokesman Jurgen Mannebeck, on a man who was convicted and fined for hit-and-run–but nothing else–after he ran into a road sign while having sex with a blond hitchhiker

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Angelica Goins”

“As soon as we can get the hell out of here.” S/Sgt. Charles Pollard, of the 307th Military Police Company, on leaving Iraq

“That was kind of chicken crap to me.” Texas resident Clint Heizer, on an incident in which Justin Guarini, last year’s runner-up “American Idol,” almost ran over Heizer’s 5-year-old daughter on his jet ski while Kelly Clarkson, last year’s winner, stood on and watched

“He’s been very persistent.” West Palm Beach Police spokeswoman Dena Kimber, on a 22-year-old man who has allegedly dialed 911 more than 900 times since May. He has never had an actual emergency.

“It would be nice if J. K. [Rowling] were a little less verbose in the next one.” National Braille Press’s Diane Croft, on the Braille edition of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” which contains 13 volumes and stands more than a foot high

“They’re too dead to defend themselves. [It’s] a form of grave robbery, as far as I am concerned.” JFK Jr. friend John Perry Barlow, on Edward Klein’s book “The Kennedy Curse,” which claims JFK Jr.’s marriage was falling apart when the couple was killed in a plane crash

“Mr. Schulz, I know there is in Italy a man producing a film on the Nazi concentration camps. I would like to suggest you for the role of leader. You’d be perfect.” Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, responding to German Socialist politician Martin Schulz’s criticism about his media interests

“At the beginning of the 21st century, that people should wish to make a sport and gain pleasure out of it, is the absolute beggar’s belief.” Ann Widdecombe, Conservative Party backbencher, on the House of Commons vote to ban fox hunting

“I discovered there was such a thing as instant oatmeal. Amazing, the things you learn in prison.” Alfred Taubman, or “Mr. Sotheby’s,” on his year spent in prison for taking part in a price-fixing scam with rival auction house Christie’s

“The Holy Ghost was working through me on this film, and I was just directing traffic.” Actor Mel Gibson, on directing “The Passion,” a movie based on the last 12 hours of Christ’s life. Gibson attended mass every morning and asserted that agnostics and Muslims on the set converted to Christianity during the making of the film.

“I think they can rise to the level of being a food-eating athlete. Until then, I will continue.” Takeru Kobayashi, the Japanese eating machine who won the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for the past two years, on the future of Americans in his sport. The 154-pound athlete devoured 501/2 hot dogs in 20 minutes last year to win.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “James Cantrell”

“While it is important to trash the governor, it should be done in the context of regret, sadness and balance.” GOP strategist Frank Luntz, in a 17-page private memo to California Republicans outlining ways to oust Gov. Gray Davis in a recall effort without turning the unpopular governor into a sympathetic figure

“We have received intelligence of an enslaved gnome at your place of residence. Whether you have come across this gentle woodland creature through deliberate actions or innocent ignorance, we care not… It is now in a better place.” A note left by a group calling itself the Gnome Liberation Organization, which has been swiping elfin lawn ornaments in Roseburg, Ore.

“In hindsight (so to speak), we wish we hadn’t written ‘big butts’ in that particular piece.” The Des Moines Register, on its word choice in an editorial on Kraft’s healthy-eating campaign

“He said bring it on. Well, they brought it on, and now my nephew’s dead.” Mary Kewatt, aunt of 20-year-old American soldier Edward Herrgott, who was killed by a sniper in Baghdad on July 3, referring to comments made by President Bush on guerrilla fighting in Iraq

“Your political capital is the equivalent of Confederate dollars.’’ NAACP president Kweisi Mfume, on President Bush and three Democrats who were no-shows at the group’s annual convention. Mfume said they have no right to ask for black votes in the 2004 election.

“I did not assault the woman who is accusing me. I made the mistake of adultery.” L.A. Laker Kobe Bryant, on the charge of sexual assault against him–a Class 3 felony, which could carry a sentence of four years to life in prison, or 20 years to life on probation. He denies the charge.

“I’m nothin’ but a big 48-year-old mama’s boy.” Mr. T, the former “A-Team” star and current 1-800-COLLECT caller

“Prohibitions against ejaculations are not based on science.” Prof. Graham Giles, of Australia’s Cancer Council Victoria, on his study that found frequent masturbation may protect men against prostate cancer

“Are you big enough to make me, you little wimp?… I dare you, you little fruitcake.” Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.), after being told to “shut up” by Rep. Scott McInnis (R-Colo.). The altercation happened in Congress after the GOP sprung a new version of a pension bill on Dems.

“She said it was pretty big. I’ll show you photographs of something pretty small.” Defense lawyer Gary Asteak, in the case against accused flasher Robert Peters Sr., a Pennsylvania locksmith who says he’s not well-endowed enough to be the culprit

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Sarah Burton”

“I was sincere in everything I said, even just before the fall of Baghdad International Airport.” Former Iraqi information minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, otherwise known as “Baghdad Bob,” on his dubious press briefings

“I think I may go suede–Wallabees or Hush Puppies. Apparently, a restaurant in New York has offered to cook them up in a sauce. I’ll probably contact them.” CNN pundit Tucker Carlson, on his promise to eat his shoe if former First Lady Hillary Clinton’s book sold more than 1 million copies, a mark the book seems certain to reach

“I slept with the ball, took it to the bathroom with me and essentially would have fought to the death if anyone tried to take it from me.” Nick Boragi, who was employed exclusively to protect the baseball that Giants left fielder Barry Bonds slugged for his record-breaking 73d home run before it went up for auction

“I don’t need Bush’s tax cut. I have never worked a [bleeping] day in my life.” Rhode Island Rep. Patrick Kennedy, on why he didn’t vote for Congress’s recent tax-cut legislation

“You are not anonymous. We’re going to begin to take names.” Recording Industry Association of America president Cary Sherman, of millions of Web users who download copyrighted music

“I guess if Ari were to rebel, being a Republican is better than being on drugs, but not by much.” Alan Fleischer, White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer’s father and a lifelong Democrat

“This is a great chicken, a friendly chicken, a chicken that is ready for a relationship.” Kat Brown, San Francisco animal-shelter deputy director, on a chicken that was rescued from power lines after being strapped to 100 helium balloons and sent skyward by a prankster

“I really don’t believe in magic.” J. K. Rowling, on her “Harry Potter” series

“There is no money over there. There’s no leadership–pretty much like California.” Potential California gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger, on his upcoming trip to Iraq to screen “Terminator 3” for U.S. troops

“She used to make me hamburgers. I’ve been eating salads for four months. I think I need Meals on Wheels.” Former Senate majority leader Bob Dole, on losing 23 pounds since his wife, Elizabeth, joined the Senate

“Borders are not always distinct in life.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on the exact location of the clash between United States armed forces and Syrian border guards last week

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Reginald Bagwell”

“Gerhard Schroder is not as bad as most Germans. For a start, [he] is not one of the uniform, stereotypical blonds with hypernationalistic pride who loudly invade our beaches.” Italian Deputy Tourism Minister Stefano Stefani, inviting the German chancellor to visit his country. After the remarks were published, Schroder canceled his planned Italian vacation and Stefani resigned.

“Come on, everybody. Go, Howard Dean!” Bush political adviser Karl Rove, at a Fourth of July parade in Washington, trying to stir up enthusiasm for the Democratic presidential hopeful some Republicans believe is the most beatable

“He is third in line to the presidency of the United States. You won’t forget it next time, will you?” Lee County, Ill., Judge Thomas Magdich, to a man facing felony aggravated-battery charges for tossing a water balloon at House Speaker Dennis Hastert

“We need to not develop an expectation that all of these difficulties will go away in one month or two months or three months.” Gen. Tommy Franks, who ran the war against Saddam Hussein, on the continuing violence and attacks against U.S. forces in Iraq

“This is how elephants learn about the birds and the bees.” Animal trainer Uttum Corea, to President George W. Bush after his safari in Botswana saw two elephants in the middle of a “reproductive attempt”

“The Jews, I find, are very, very selfish.” President Harry S. Truman, in a 1947 diary that was recently discovered in his presidential library. Truman also wrote that Jews often expect “special treatment” and do not care how many other ethnic groups get murdered or mistreated.

“I stepped on a land mine named Jayson Blair.” Howell Raines, former New York Times executive editor, in an interview with Charlie Rose, on the young reporter and proven plagiarist who he says cost him his job

“Who knows? If the old guy were alive, he might have enjoyed it.” Chapman Grant, President Ulysses S. Grant’s great-grandson, on singer Beyonce Knowles’s July 4 scantily clad performance at Grant’s Tomb in New York. The caretaker of the site said the performance was in poor taste.

“I just looked over and saw our wieners in a wad.” Milwaukee Brewers manager Ned Yost, on seeing the sausage mascots in the team’s nightly race fall over after the Italian sausage was clubbed by Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon

“I didn’t think he was gonna go on Barbara Walters and sell me out.” Pop star and former self-proclaimed virgin Britney Spears, admitting she is not, in fact, a virgin and complaining that her ex, Justin Timberlake, blabbed about it in an interview

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “Melissa Patterson”

“He said ‘bring it on’. Well, they brought it on, and now my nephew’s dead.” Mary Kewatt, aunt of 20-year-old American soldier Edward Herrgott, who was killed by a sniper in Baghdad on July 3, referring to comments made by President Bush on guerrilla fighting in Iraq

“Evocative, with a very French sound, the word ‘courriel’ is broadly used in the press and competes advantageously with the borrowed ‘mail’ in English.” Excerpt from a ruling by France’s Culture Ministry, which last week officially banned the use of the word e-mail in all government correspondence, in favor of the French courriel

“I did not assault the woman who is accusing me. I made the mistake of adultery.” 24-year-old U.S. basketball star Kobe Bryant, defending himself against charges of sexual assault–a felony that could carry a sentence of four years to life in prison, or 20 years to life on probation. He denies all charges.

“We are getting old in our hearts… we are just begging the peacekeepers to come. We are crying for them.” Monrovia resident Bruno Mensah, on the situation in Liberia, where violence continues to rage between rebels and troops loyal to President Charles Taylor

“This is a sensible thing to do. It is unappetizing to see these ads at dinner.” Hanoi resident Tran Huyen Trang, on the Vietnamese government’s recent ban on TV advertisements for condoms, sanitary pads and toilet paper during the hours of 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

“Semen is a very potent and strong brew of lots of chemicals which, because of their biological reactivity, could be carcinogenic if left to lie around.” Professor Graham Giles, of Australia’s Cancer Council Victoria, explaining his study’s finding that frequent masturbation in the 20s, 30s and 40s may protect men against prostate cancer

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Spencer Castillo”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “David Maus”

“We went in and started to take the wounded out. In truth there was not much to take out.” An Israeli bystander, identified as Navon, on the Palestinian suicide bombing in Haifa that killed at least 19 people

“He was actually storing them in his refrigerator. He had small children.” U.S. weapons inspector David Kay, on a vial of botulinum bacteria found in an Iraqi’s scientist’s home

“We’re closed. We’re all inside studying law.” An attendant at the Zhuhai International Conference Center Hotel in southern China, after a furor erupted over reports of a mid-September sex romp involving 268 Japanese tourists and some 500 Chinese prostitutes. Several hotel executives were arrested, and hotel staff were put into “emergency study sessions.”

“Perhaps I will try it when it will no longer be criminal. I will have my money for my fine and a joint in the other hand.” Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, on trying marijuana when he retires. He supports a new bill that would decriminalize pot, and instead charge a fine on users who get caught with small amounts.

“Hope is reborn.” Democracy activist Oswaldo Paya, after delivering more than 14,000 signatures to Cuba’s Parliament on Friday, demanding a referendum for sweeping political changes

“One hole and it all sinks.” Andrea Bollini, head of Italy’s electrical-grid agency, comparing the grid to a boat after a blackout disrupted life in the country

“I am speaking here about the most menacing missiles, of which we have dozens, with hundreds of warheads.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, telling his top military commanders of plans to put ICBMs on combat duty in order to overcome any missile defense system

“We’ll have a result within a minute. If it’s safe, we’ll tell the waiters to start serving.” Thailand Department of Medical Sciences chief Somsong Rugpao, on plans to use mice to test food for poison at the upcoming APEC summit

“There’s no disgrace in trying to kill people in the coolest way possible.” Director Quentin Tarantino, on his new movie, “Kill Bill: Vol. 1,” which includes a 20-minute sequence where 88 people die

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Jose Sterner”

“The Europeans killed 6 million Jews out of 12 million, but today the Jews rule the world by proxy. They get others to fight and die for them.” Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, in remarks at a summit of Muslim leaders in Putrajaya, Malaysia, which received a standing ovation, but brought condemnation and charges of anti-Semitism from other governments the world over

“I am not anti-Islam or any other religion.” U.S. Army Lt. Gen. William Boykin, the general leading the hunt for Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, defending comments he made to Christian groups. Boykin told one prayer meeting, referring to a Somalian warlord, “I knew my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real god and his was an idol.”

“The same doubts were once expressed about the culture of Asia. Those doubts were proven wrong nearly six decades ago.” U.S. President George W. Bush, comparing skepticism about democratizing Iraq to similar doubts about the Philippines, which successfully became democratic–after a 48-year-long U.S. occupation

“Erm, no.” Yang Liwei, China’s first astronaut to go to space, responding to an eager interviewer who asked him, “Is it true that you can see the Great Wall of China from space?”

“Some mouths may be dirtier than cat litter.” British dentist Brian Grieveson, in a statement accompanying research by the toothpaste manufacturer Aquafresh that found that 52 percent of Britons–and three out of five women–have breath that could be fouler than their pets’

“It’s over the top.” Thai opposition M.P. Akapol Sorasuchart, on the Thai Health Ministry’s requirement that all chefs and waiters at the 16 hotels hosting world leaders at this week’s APEC summit in Bangkok submit to rectal swabs to ensure that they are disease-free

“Walking into Planet Hollywood and seeing Bruce Willis’s underwear hanging over your plate. I mean, that to me is the most disturbing and frightening.” American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, on the scariest dining experience he could think of, in an interview with a Taiwan cable-news show

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Floyd Baez”

“I dream, I hope, I pray for you.” Line from “Mother Teresa: The Musical,” sung by a sprightly Teresa character to dancing members of the chorus representing the sick and destitute. The upbeat production is one of a series of events being held in Rome ahead of her beatification by Pope John Paul II.

“It’s official. I got down on one knee to propose to Demi and she said, ‘Yes.’ We were both so happy, we had tears in our eyes.” Actor Ashton Kutcher, on proposing to actress Demi Moore, who is 15 years his senior, as told to a friend

“The quality of life and security for the citizens has been largely restored, and we are a large part of why that happened.” Excerpt from one of several identical letters signed by different soldiers giving glowing accounts of Iraq. The letters, whose author remains unknown, have been appearing in newspapers across the United States.

“I saw our planet. It’s so beautiful.” Yang Liwei, China’s first astronaut to go into space, on land after 21 hours in orbit

“She is not worthy of your belief.” Kobe Bryant defense attorney Pamela Mackey, at the conclusion of a preliminary hearing during which she attacked the credibility of the alleged rape victim and asserted the 19-year-old went to pains to set up an illicit encounter with the basketball star

“I’ll try my best to tell her what’s going on, but I’m not sure what to say.” Anaheim, Calif., resident Juana Solis, on having to explain to her 8-year-old daughter why her fourth-grade teacher, Dennis William Gosnell, was arrested for allegedly moonlighting as a prostitute

“Who wouldn’t be scared? Of course I’m scared.” Lifestyle maven Martha Stewart, on the prospect of going to prison

“It’s entertainment and I believe God is OK with that.” Singer Beyonce Knowles, a devout Christian, who frequently wears tight and revealing outfits and strips onstage

“We’d get them here under the Capitol dome, have their wife take a picture, have the speaker of the House tell how important they’ll be.” Former National Republican Committee chairman Tom Davis, on one of his secrets of recruiting GOP candidates for Congress

“In the end, though, the hitting fell short and the bullpen simply didn’t deliver. It’s a crying shame that Roger Clemens’ career had to end on a losing note.” Excerpt from a New York Post editorial, printed by mistake, lamenting the New York Yankees’ Game 7 “loss” to the Boston Red Sox. The Yankees won that game in the 11th inning, sending them to the World Series.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Elsie Hogston”

“You got yo whole neighborhood addicted to crack. Collect $50.” A card from Ghettopoly, a spoof of the popular board game Monopoly. The un-P.C. version has outraged black leaders, who called for a boycott of Urban Outfitters, a clothing-store chain that was selling it.

“The spermatozoon can easily pass through the ’net’ that is formed by the condom.” Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, the president of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family, telling people in countries stricken by AIDS not to use condoms, despite a widespread scientific consensus that condoms are impermeable to the HIV virus

“I’ve got all your records!” A breathless Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, to Latin heartthrob Ricky Martin, who was in Washington to talk to lawmakers about the exploitation of children

“Arnold, if you ever need advice on the state of California or want to grope another girl, call me.” Porn star Mary Carey, conceding the California gubernatorial election to Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I’ll write myself a note.” Kobe Bryant’s rape-trial attorney Pamela Mackey, after being chastised for breaking the judge’s decorum order by using the accuser’s name six times in a preliminary hearing

“Or I can go get the muzzle.” Kobe Bryant Judge Frederick Gannett, offering his own solution

“There are two ways for you to have lower prescription-drug costs. One is you could hire Rush Limbaugh’s housekeeper… or you can elect me president.” Presidential hopeful John Kerry, discussing health care in a Phoenix Democratic debate

“My concern is that the city cat won’t make it in the country. He’s going to have no jazz, no hip-hop. He’s going to miss the Harlem Renaissance.” Harlem, N.Y., resident Lynette Braxton, on the 350-pound tiger that mauled its owner, who kept the animal in his Harlem apartment with a five-foot reptile called a caiman

“Really, if I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would.” Maryland First Lady Kendel Ehrlich, on the pop princess. She has since clarified that she was just kidding.

“I would tell people to love their bodies as they are.” Susan Nighswonger, who recently had her silicone breast implants removed. This week the FDA will hold hearings that may lead to lifting of the restrictions on silicone-implant sales.

“I have creatively spent every day trying to show that I’m not that guy anymore.” John Stamos, on his days costarring with the Olsen twins on the family heart warmer “Full House”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Charles Munoz”

Sheik Abdel Hadi al-Daraji, addressing a crowd of up to 10,000 Iraqi Shiites in Sadr City, during the funerals of two Shiites allegedly killed by U.S. soldiers

“The spermatozoon can easily pass through the ’net’ that is formed by the condom.”

Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, the president of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for the Family, telling people in countries stricken by AIDS not to use condoms, despite a widespread scientific consensus that condoms block the HIV virus

“I represent a ghost.”

Christine Huskey, an American lawyer representing 28 Kuwaiti detainees held by the U.S. government in Guantanamo Bay. Huskey has no access to her clients.

“Cuba must change.”

U.S. President George W. Bush, announcing a new effort to pressure Fidel Castro by curbing Americans’ travel to the country and hiking the number of Cuban dissidents allowed into America

“I can’t say I feel any special joy at my victory.”

Akhmad Kadyrov, the new Kremlin-backed president of Chechnya, on taking power after an election derided by many, including the United States and human-rights groups, as a sham

“You cannot go around sodomizing people.”

Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, referring to one of the charges against his former deputy and political rival Anwar Ibrahim, who is in jail

“A middle-size figure, nimble movement, the ability to withstand hardships and a teamwork mind set.”

The ideal attributes of a Chinese astronaut, according to an unnamed Chinese official who helped select the finalists for the upcoming manned mission to space

“This is not good for the monarchy.”

Dutch Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende, referring to Prince Johan Friso’s decision to give up his right to the throne in order to marry a human-rights activist accused of having an affair with a known gangster

“I don’t see it making the schedule in the near future.”

Rob Stutzman, spokesman for California Gov.-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger, on an offer from the former Soviet Republic of Georgia to have a mountain named after him–on the condition that he visit the country

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Lionel Olivas”

“God just wanted him to have it back.” Longview, Texas, Big Lots employee Dee Osborn, on finding a wallet in the store’s parking lot just yards from where 26-year-old Scott Duke had lost it seven years earlier

“I said if they had any problem with it, let me know. I am still waiting to hear from them.” Dennis Hope, on notifying the United States, Soviet Union and United Nations that he filed a declaration of ownership of the moon and planets (excluding Earth) in a California courthouse in 1980. He claims to have since made $6.25 million selling land on his “property” through his company, Lunar Embassy.

“I made a significant contribution to the Cubs, as you might recall… Sammy Sosa. I’ll take great delight when they win.” President George W. Bush, on the Texas Rangers’–where he was formerly a managing partner–trading Sammy Sosa to the Cubs, which never actually happened. The Rangers in fact traded Sosa to the White Sox.

“In my opinion, there was one weapon of mass destruction in Iraq, and it was Saddam Hussein.” Former New York police commissioner Bernard Kerik, a onetime adviser in Iraq, appearing with President George W. Bush to defend the decision to go to war

“We didn’t know that it was a Jewish holiday.” Paris High Blue Blazes band director Charles Grissom, on a halftime performance on Rosh Hashana that featured the band’s playing “Deutschland Uber Alles” while a student ran across the field waving a Nazi flag

“I still think it’s ugly.” Costa Mesa, Calif., resident Teri Horton, on evidence that the $5 painting she bought was painted by Jackson Pollock

“I know we take football serious in the South, but that’s crossing the line.” Pinson, Ala., Deputy Sheriff Randy Christian, on a man who pulled a gun on his son after Alabama’s double-overtime loss to Arkansas. The bullet narrowly missed 20-year-old Seth Logan, who now acknowledges he picked the wrong moment to ask his dad for a car.

“This is like if a bald eagle attacked the president of the United States.” Longtime Las Vegan Frank Danielsohn, on the white tigers’ status as Vegas icons and Roy Horn as their master. Horn, of the performance duo Siegfried and Roy, was mauled and dragged off the stage by one of the tigers during a performance last Friday.

“This is such a smokescreen.” Indie producer Christine Vachon, on the Motion Picture Association’s ban on sending screeners to award-nomination voters, which gives an advantage to studios with large releases

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Maria Ransler”

“And remember, when a big story breaks out, go like hell.” Former New York Times executive editor Howell Raines, saying goodbye to his staff after he resigned last Thursday

“He swallowed them whole. He said it was like sushi.” Detention officer Sgt. Lester White, on bombing suspect Eric Rudolph’s description of eating salamanders during his five years’ living in the wild

“Now Martha has really used the wrong fork.” Syracuse University professor Robert Thompson, on Martha Stewart’s indictment in an insider-trading case

“11:15-11:20 MLTH [Miami Lake town house] kitchen– give Adele dry cleaning–newspapers–collect Coca Cola.” Excerpt from Sen. Bob Graham’s almost minute-by-minute daily logs, which he has kept for more than 25 years

“It’s a scandal, a tragedy. They were slaughtering people and then enjoying a party.” Retired Iraqi jeweler Saadoun al-Faili, on a home video discovered last week of Saddam Hussein and his family celebrating the birthday of Hussein’s daughter Hala. The video was discovered last week.

“Gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, ‘What do you mean? What are you saying? Why did you lie to me?’ " Sen. Hillary Clinton, in her new book “Living History,” describing the morning when President Bill Clinton admitted to her he had been sexually involved with White House intern Monica Lewinsky

“Except for the occasional heart attack, I never felt better.” Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking at the Radio & Television Correspondents’ Association dinner

“This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as ‘mish mish man’ and ‘shizzle my nizzle’.” A London judge on rapper Andrew Alcee’s accusation that the Heartless Crew made references to drugs and violence in a remix of his copyrighted work

“I’ll stick them in my little vintage Chanel purse, which is just large enough for my inhaler, my lipstick and the pants.” Performer Marissa Jaret Winokur, who plays Tracy Turnblad in Broadway’s “Hairspray,” on the panties she will carry as a good-luck charm to the “Tony Awards.” They’re too dark to wear under her white dress, she says.

“In batting practice, I like to put on a show for the fans. I like to make people happy and show off. I just picked up the wrong bat.” The Cubs’ Sammy Sosa, explaining why there was cork in his shattered bat

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Vickie Daniels”

Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, on the whereabouts of Saddam Hussein

“Patrick was adamant that the church tell the truth.”

Mitchell Garabedian, an attorney representing Patrick McSorley, whose lawsuit against the Boston archdiocese helped spark the clergy-abuse scandal. McSorley was pulled unconscious from a Boston river last week. Police are still investigating the incident.

“What did I fall for, you [expletive]? Shove it in your mother’s [expletive].”

Cuban President Fidel Castro, after learning that Miami talk-show hosts tricked him into responding to snippets of a recording of his Venezuelan counterpart, Hugo Chavez

“I’m happy for anyone who finds romance.”

Bruce Willis, on ex-wife Demi Moore’s new relationship with 25-year-old actor Ashton Kutcher

“There’s never change without conflict.”

The Rev. Edward Pinkney, of the Bethel Christian Restoration Center in Benton Harbor, Mich., about last week’s riot where hundreds of people took to the streets in anger after a black motorist was killed during a police chase

“I promise just to serve two terms. Republicans do it differently. They just have the son repeat the father’s whole first term.”

Presidential hopeful John Kerry, playing on Bill Clinton’s suggestion that presidents be allowed to serve three terms

“What surprises me, what amazes me, is that it seems the military people were expecting to stumble on large quantities of gas, chemical weapons and biological weapons.”

Retiring U.N. chief weapons inspector Hans Blix, on the hunt for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

“If that’s the only way, then I’m all for destroying their machines.”

Sen. Orrin Hatch, on one way to control people who illegally download music from the Internet

“Don’t change the dizzle. Turn it up a little. This is the bizzle. Snoopy D-O-double-gizzle.”

Snoop Dogg, to the audience of MTV’s new variety show, “Doggy Fizzle Televizzle,” which he hosts

“You have to look at history as an evolution of society.”

Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, on his country’s new policy to open marriage to gay couples

“We acknowledge that we may have gone too far.”

An apology issued by Redbook publisher Hearst, in response to the magazine’s pasting actress Julia Roberts’s head on another body on the cover of its July issue. The headline read THE REAL JULIA.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Ryan Freeman”

“A tax on junk food, videogames and TV? That’s pretty much everything I do.” New York teenager Daniel Neuman, on city politician Felix Ortiz’s proposal to tax things that contribute to obesity

“Oh, my God, it’s the waiter from Sizzler.” Darlene Keller, of Corona, Calif., on the phone to police after being followed home. Her server vandalized her house after an argument over a side dish.

“Whatever kind of history it was, it was terrible.” New York Yankees manager Joe Torre, on his team’s being no-hit, for the first time in 45 years, by six Astros pitchers–a record for a combined no-hitter

“I believe in a zone of privacy.” Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, at a press conference before a book signing to promote her new memoir, “Living History”

“Those crimes are emblematic of a pattern of lawlessness and arrogance.” U.S. District Judge William Pauley III, to former ImClone CEO Samuel Waksal, after giving him the maximum sentence for securities fraud, obstruction of justice and perjury

“There are bastards who spread things around, of course, who planted nasty things in the media.” Retiring chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix, lashing out at the Bush administration for undermining his efforts to find Iraqi weapons of mass destruction

“In truth, no one would ever find Nemo and the movie would be called ‘Grinding Nemo’.” Sewage-equipment company JWC Environmental, in a statement warning that flushing a fish down a toilet will not send it back to sea, as shown in Disney’s “Finding Nemo,” but to powerful machines that “shred solids into tiny particles”

“Show those numbers to the [expletive] auditors and I’ll throw you out the [expletive] window.’’ WorldCom accounting executive Buford Yates, to an underling who questioned the company’s books, according to investigators

“He wrote better than Yeats. He wrote better than Shakespeare. He totally intoxicated you with his feelings.” Robin Solod, on her fiance, Col. Kassem Saleh of the U.S. Army, who was apparently engaged to dozens of women he met on the Internet

“I don’t have to ‘freedom-kiss’ my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.” Film director Woody Allen, in a video produced by the French government to prospective American tourists

“I’m in love. I’m. In. Love.” Harrison Ford, on his girlfriend, actress Calista Flockhart

CORRECTION

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Lenard Skinner”

Zakaria Shabneh, cousin of suicide bomber Abdel Madi Shabneh, who blew himself up on a bus in Jerusalem on Wednesday, killing 17

“There are bastards who spread things around, of course, who planted nasty things in the media.”

U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix, lashing out at the Bush administration for undermining his efforts to find Iraqi weapons of mass destruction

“It’s time to stand up for what we want.”

An Iranian student in Tehran, where the largest antigovernment protests in four years erupted last week

“Show those numbers to the [expletive] auditors and I’ll throw you out the [expletive] window.”

WorldCom accounting executive Buford Yates, to an underling who questioned the company’s books, according to investigators

“I don’t have to ‘freedom-kiss’ my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.”

Film director Woody Allen, in a video produced by the French government to attract American tourists

“They are doing it to disgrace African leaders.”

Liberian President Charles Taylor, dismissing his indictment by the U.N. Special Court for Sierra Leone

“The junta that oppresses democracy inside Burma must find that its actions will not be allowed to stand.”

U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, supporting proposed punitive steps, including a ban on Burmese imports, in response to the recent detention of pro-democracy opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi

“Brad Pitt has got a squeezable [Latex] bum, but Britney would be the first with heaving bosoms.”

A spokeswoman for Madame Tussaud’s in London, on plans for a waxwork Britney Spears with inflatable breasts that throb in time to her dancing

“This variety of shark is susceptible to stress.”

Lisa Handscomb, of the Brighton Sea Life Centre in England, where a shark died days after comedian Guy Venables jumped into its tank nude in a publicity stunt. The center is considering prosecuting him for criminal damage.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Michael Mccarver”

“For reasons that have a lot to do with the U.S. government bureaucracy, we settled on the one issue that everyone could agree on, which was weapons of mass destruction.” U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, explaining why Iraq’s WMD capability was held out as the main cause for war

“For their own security they are now under temporary protective custody.” Burmese Brig. Gen. Than Thun, commenting on the government’s detainment of pro-democracy opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi and 19 members of her party, after clashes between her supporters and pro-government crowds

Spitting on the ground is dangerous to your health, and spit contains infectious diseases. But with one small bag in you hands, your health will always be invincible. Printed on white spit bags handed out on the streets of China. The government’s latest battle in the war against SARS is curbing the national habit of spitting.

“We have different lifestyles… We think very differently about issues.” Iranian Ladan Bijani, one of a pair of Siamese twins joined at the skull, on why they want to be separated after 28 years, despite the risk of death to one or both of them during their upcoming operation

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Nancy Taylor”

“The next character I want to play is a tub of Hagen-Dazs ice cream. That’s one thing I’d love to be able to resist.” Comic Ellen DeGeneres, who lost her appetite for fish while playing the voice of a blue tang in Disney’s “Finding Nemo”

“The last thing that I’ve been unable to control in my quest to control everything around me is death.” Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich

“There may come a time when we have elected a president at age 45 or 50 and then 20 years later the country comes up with the same sort of problems the president faced before, and the people would like to bring that man or woman back.” Former president Bill Clinton, in a public conversation with historian Michael Beschloss at the Kennedy Library, on why the 22d Amendment should be modified to make citizens eligible to be elected president more than twice

“God knows we need help.” Karen Marchioro, leader of the Western caucus of the Democratic National Committee, on the state of the party

Spitting on the ground is dangerous to your health, and spit contains infectious diseases. But with one small bag in your hands, your health will always be invincible. Printed on white spit bags handed out on the streets of China. The government’s latest battle in the war against SARS is curbing the national habit of spitting.

“The first time I met Bush 43, I knew he was different. Two things became clear. One, he didn’t know very much. The other was he had the confidence to ask questions that revealed he didn’t know very much.” Former assistant secretary of Defense Richard Perle, on President George W. Bush

“I must assure you it was never my intention to make a pretentious film, a self-indulgent film, a useless film, an unengaging film.” Film director Vincent Gallo, admitting that his latest work, “The Brown Bunny,” is a “disaster and a waste of time”

“I will miss the echo of the ball, and I will miss walking out on center court. I will miss it at 31, at 41, at 61, for the rest of my life.” Tennis champion Pete Sampras, on skipping the Wimbledon tournament this year and tentatively retiring for good

“I e-mailed Universal Studios about this issue… I think I want payment.” Florida resident Dawn Jenkins, on sharing a phone number with God in Jim Carrey’s “Bruce Almighty”

“That is why the world is in such a state today.” Swaziland’s King Mswati, blaming “women who wear pants” for the world’s ills

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Alice Scungio”

Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, on establishing a stable and moderate government in war-torn Iraq

“I’ll do what men do, and she should do what women do.”

PGA golfer Fulton Allem, about Annika Sorenstam, the first woman in 58 years to compete on the PGA Tour, before she outgolfed him on the first day of play of the Colonial tournament. Sorenstam shot 71; Allem shot 75.

“If they’re all so brilliant and I’m such an affirmative-action hire, how come they didn’t catch me?”

Former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair, who plagiarized and falsified stories, on his former bosses

“My knees are gone. It’s an occupational hazard–falling off bar stools.” Former major-league pitcher Mickey McDermott, now 74 “When you sell yourself as a sexy thing–‘I’m a sexy actress!’–there’s going to come a time when you’re that used-to-be-sexy actress.”

Actress Reese Witherspoon, on why she maintains a modest image

“I want to stress the cow did not go into the food chain. I want to stress from the beginning this is one cow.”

Canadian Agriculture Minister Lyle Vanclief, on a case of mad-cow disease found in Alberta

“They were religious extremists without spirituality.”

A senior official on the Moroccan terrorists whose suicide bombings in Casablanca killed 29 people last week

“Mr. Leonsis, are you a spammer?”

Sen. John McCain, to the vice chairman of AOL, Ted Leonsis, after longtime spammer Ronald Scelson accused AOL of sending its customers unsolicited e-mail

“I assume Jennifer Lopez would want to have dinner with me.”

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on the Bronx-born pop diva he publicly admires

“I realize I’ve been tempted by the thought of respectability, seduced by credibility… And you know what? Screw everybody if they don’t respect me. I make people laugh.”

Hollywood actor Jim Carrey, whose new film, “Bruce Almighty,” is a return to comedy after some tries at drama

“In Beverly Hills, they have real jewelry and fake people. In West Virginia, we have fake jewelry but real people.”

United Mine Workers of America president Cecil B. Roberts, protesting CBS’s proposed reality show, “The Real Beverly Hillbillies,” that will capitalize on stereotypes of his region

“Oh, Nicole, don’t do that–you promised.”

Movie director Lars von Trier, to Nicole Kidman, at a Cannes press conference where she puffed a cigarette, ignoring his plea. Kidman stars in von Trier’s newest film, “Dogville.”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Jim Wible”

“Gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, ‘What do you mean? What are you saying? Why did you lie to me?’ " Sen. Hillary Clinton, in her new book, “Living History,” describing the morning when President Bill Clinton admitted to her he had been sexually involved with White House intern Monica Lewinsky

“Our resistance will continue.” Sheik Ahmed Yassin, founder of the Islamic militant group Hamas, rejecting Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas’s call for a ceasefire as a step toward Middle East peace

“And remember, when a big story breaks out, go like hell.” Former New York Times executive editor Howell Raines, saying goodbye to his staff after he resigned last Thursday

“We were expected to quake and shake with fear at this threat from this pathetic puppet who regards the British as his masters.” Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe, on opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai, who was charged with treason last week after vowing to continue anti-Mugabe protests

“This led to the faintly surreal experience of three gentlemen in horsehair wigs examining the meaning of such phrases as ‘mish mish man’ and ‘shizzle my nizzle’.” A London judge, on rapper Andrew Alcee’s charge that the Heartless Crew made references to drugs and violence in a remix of his copyrighted work

“We wanted to show our appreciation.” Dennis Hof, proprietor of the Moonlight BunnyRanch in Carson City, Nevada, on why he’s offering free sex to the first 50 U.S. soldiers who turn up at his brothel

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Catherine Tipton”

“As a fake newsman myself, it’s always encouraging to see the profession catching on. If I can inspire one guy to make up all his sources, well then, I’ve done my job.” Comedian Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” on former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair, who falsified and plagiarized stories

“Apparently her only real skill was to provide sexual release for JFK.” John F. Kennedy biographer Robert Dallek, describing former Kennedy intern Marion (Mimi) Fahnestock, who has admitted to having had an affair with the former president

“There is no such campaign out of this building.” U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, responding to accusations of an anti-French smear campaign originating from high-level Pentagon staff

“We’re asphyxiating. Help me, help me. We’re asphyxiating.” An unidentified man in a 911 call made near Victoria, Texas, where 18 migrants, believed to be illegal immigrants, suffocated in a trailer at a roadside truck stop

“I’m against the Islamization of France… our grandfathers, our fathers gave their lives for centuries to chase all successive invaders out of France.” Excerpt from French film star Brigitte Bardot’s new book, “Cry in the Silence,” which has sparked controversy in France for its criticism of Muslims

“We don’t call them albinos. They’re dead. That’s why they’re pale.” A spokeswoman for Warner Brothers, responding to charges that the white-skinned, red-eyed villains in “The Matrix Reloaded” unfairly stereotype albinos

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Michael Hall”

“She couldn’t type.” Kennedy press aide Barbara Gamarekian, describing Marion (Mimi) Fahnestock, the 19-year-old intern, now 60, who admitted this week to having an affair with President John F. Kennedy

“Doesn’t it seem a little bit girly? Like we’re in a catfight?” Singer Mariah Carey, on rapper Eminem’s threatening to include parts of her rambling voice mails in his next album

“As a fake newsman myself, it’s always encouraging to see the profession catching on. If I can inspire one guy to make up all his sources, well then, I’ve done my job.” Comedian Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central’s political spoof “The Daily Show,” on former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair, who falsified and plagiarized stories

“We need to give them something they won’t get from the other guys.” Former president Bill Clinton, telling the nine Democratic presidential candidates that Bush can be beaten in 2004 and urging them to “battle test” winning issues during their primary fight

“Where did this idea come from that everybody deserves free education? Free medical care? Free whatever? It comes from Moscow. From Russia. It comes straight out of the pit of hell.” Texas state Rep. Debbie Riddle, in a political-committee meeting

“I came here first when I was 17 with a backpack, two friends and a rail pass. We slept on the beach.” Hollywood actress Meg Ryan, serving as a juror at the Cannes Film Festival on the French Riviera

“To have people out there, showing up with AK-47s to greet visitors–that’s not how it’s supposed to be in a national park.” Bill Tweed, chief naturalist at Sequoia National Park, on the Mexican drug cartels that are growing and guarding multimillion-dollar marijuana fields hidden in California’s wilderness preserves

“If plumbing was a sport, all those guys would be on TV and I’d work 9 to 5 playing baseball. And it wouldn’t mean a difference to me at all.” Former major-league relief pitcher Rod Beck, who is now playing for the minor-league Iowa Cubs

“I’m making a conscious decision to take this whole Judaism thing seriously. I think the Jews need me right now.” Fox News star Geraldo Rivera, son of a Jewish mother and Puerto Rican father, on why his upcoming marriage will be in a synagogue, unlike his last three

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Kevin Saenz”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was going to talk about ‘man on dog’ with a United States senator. It’s sort of freaking me out.” An Associated Press reporter to Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum, who said the definition of marriage has never included homosexuality, “man on child, man on dog or whatever the case may be”

“I’d love to do it. I think I have a lot of insight. I don’t know if he’s guilty or not, but I know there’s no such thing anymore as innocent until proven guilty.” O. J. Simpson, on the prospect of his being a news commentator for actor Robert Blake’s murder trial

“Here’s a greeting for you from a chimpanzee: whoo whoo whoo, oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh, ooh ooh, oooh, ooo.” Primate expert and wildlife champion Jane Goodall, addressing the State Department. She is working with Secretary of State Colin Powell to fight deforestation.

“Perhaps he destroyed some, perhaps he dispersed some.” President George W. Bush, on the still-unknown whereabouts of Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction

“We don’t know why today. And we don’t know why, period.” Red Lion, Pa., Police Chief Walt Hughes, on the motives of a junior-high student who shot his prinicipal and then himself

“[They have] wrapped themselves in the American flag and swapped impartiality for patriotism.” BBC director-general Greg Dyke, criticizing American television and radio networks for their “shocking” and “gung-ho” coverage of the Iraq war

“We don’t know that yet.” Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean, on whether Iraqis are better off now than they were under Saddam

“He should be so lucky.” NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell, on an erroneous closed-caption news report that her husband, Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan, had been hospitalized “with an enlarged prostitute.” He had undergone prostate surgery.

“Most people know you won’t get SARS simply by drinking Sars.” Chou Shiao-ping, spokesman for Taiwan’s Hey Song Co., whose soft drink shares a name with the deadly virus

“He looks French.” An unidentified White House adviser, criticizing Sen. John Kerry, a Democratic presidential challenger

“I just don’t think that you should eat anything that’s Jesus. It’s OK to eat the cross as long as God is not on it.” Liz Samuel, a supervisor at the Gertrude Hawk Chocolates store in Langhorne, Pa., on the store’s selling chocolate statues of Jesus

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Vernon Wood”

U.S. Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence Stephen Cambone, on a biological-weapons lab recovered by U.S. troops

“There are a lot of things you can do–some quite nasty.” Chief executive of Overpeer Marc Morgenstern, on how the music industry can use technology to harass file sharers

“[Johnny Unitas] remains dead and did not celebrate his 70th birthday.” Correction to a Philadelpia Daily News announcement noting the football hero’s 70th birthday

“At my age, celebrating means getting into bed for a good nap.” Don Flickinger, 96, on completing his college degree 75 years after he started it, when Calvin Coolidge was president

“Hyperactive kid for sale, good at vacuuming, not great at washing dishes because he’s too short.” Internet ad created by Scotsman Alex Wilson to tease his 5-year-old son. Police recently learned of the ad and ordered Wilson to remove it.

“You scare the hell out of me.” Rep. Maxine Waters (California Democrat), to media mogul Rupert Murdoch when he sought approval from a House committee to buy DirecTV, the largest U.S. satellite TV provider

“It’s not that big of a deal. So a girl got her head split open.” A student involved in the brutal hazing between high-school girls in a Chicago suburb

“The fetus may both be a part of its mother as well as its own individual being.” Chief Justice William J. Sullivan, in a Connecticut Supreme Court ruling that a fetus is a body part

“With the bills we see now, I fear we will be on the wrong side of the cow.” John Marshall Law School associate professor David Sorkin, saying we’re at a tipping point with anti-spam legislation. The bills being considered would legitimize some unsolicited e-mail.

“My gambling days are over.” “Book of Virtues” author William Bennett, after news reports stated he has lost $8 million in casino gambling

“I was able to first snap the radius and then within another few minutes snap the ulna at the wrist and from there I had the knife out and applied the tourniquet and went to task.” Colorado climber Aron Ralston on how he cut off his forearm after it was pinned under a boulder for five days

“The conferral of co-valedictorian status inaccurately suggest[s] that plaintiff Blair Hornstine was not at the top of her class.” Attorney Edwin J. Jacobs Jr., on why his high-school client shouldn’t share the title of valedictorian. Two other students ranked below Hornstine because they took low-credit PE classes, which she was exempted from.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Charles Buckner”

“The Europeans should not think that we are Europeans. Our culture and environment are different from theirs.” Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo, reacting to an EU monitoring team’s charges of fraud in the recent election that gave him a second four-year term

“[They have] wrapped themselves in the American flag and swapped impartiality for patriotism.” BBC director-general Greg Dyke, criticizing American television and radio networks for their “shocking” and “gung-ho” coverage of the war in Iraq

“Our families know what we do, but we tell other people we just work in a restaurant or a guesthouse selling food and soft drinks.” “Paddy,” Afghan member of the bar staff at the Irish Club, the new–and only–bar in Kabul

“Here’s a greeting for you from a chimpanzee: whoo whoo whoo, oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh oogh, ooh ooh, oooh, ooo.” Primate expert and wildlife champion Jane Goodall, addressing the State Department. She is working with Secretary of State Colin Powell to fight deforestation

“Most people know you won’t get SARS simply by drinking Sars.” Chou Shiao-ping, spokesman for Taiwan’s Hey Song Company, whose soft drink shares a name with the deadly virus

“When they go to the grocery store and buy foie gras in a tin, there is absolutely no thought of the geese. If my liver makes people talk about the issues then some good will come of it.” Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), who wants her body to be barbecued after her death

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Arthur Royce”

“We ought to look in a mirror and get proud, and stick out our chests and suck in our bellies and say, ‘Damn, we’re Americans!’ " Retired Lt. Gen. Jay Garner, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s choice to lead reconstruction in Iraq, scolding reporters for dwelling on difficulties in restoring civilian order and services

“We think this is just the time to catch up on reading.” China’s General Administration of Press and Publication, on the rationale behind a reading list for people staying at home for fear of SARS. The “16th Party Congress Report,” former president Jiang Zemin’s “Socialism With Chinese Characteristics” and “A History of the Chinese Communist Party” top the list.

“It is set to be massive… There has already been a lot of interest from record stations and club DJs.” Les Molloy, who is helping produce a dance track featuring catchphrases of Iraq’s former Information minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

“I’m filled with smoldering anger at the grotesque exaggeration fostered by my cable competitors.” Celebrity newsman Geraldo Rivera, in a message on his Web site, denouncing what he calls his rivals’ “Get Geraldo” campaign after the U.S. military asked him to leave Iraq

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Joseph Barlow”

“I think George Bush is the most corrupt American president since [Warren] Harding in the 1920s. He is not the legitimate president.” London Mayor Ken Livingstone, known in his more radical days as “Red Ken,” speaking to 200 schoolchildren visiting City Hall last week

“War sucks big time. Don’t let yourself ever be talked into having one waged in the name of your freedom.” A recent entry from Iraqi blogger Salam Pax, whose popular Baghdad-based Web log “Dear Raed” recently came back online after power lines were knocked out in late March

“It’s really a suggestion more than an order.” Chinese Communist Party official on the party’s promotion of the once-banned Mandarin bow over the more modern, but germ-spreading, handshake

“You scare the hell out of me.” Rep. Maxine Waters, D-Calif., to media mogul Rupert Murdoch when he appeared before a House committee seeking approval to buy DirecTV, the largest U.S. satellite TV provider

“I have absolutely no intention of taking it off, no matter how much opposition there is.” Japanese wrestler-turned-politician Masanori Murakawa, also known as “The Great Sasuke,” on his refusal to remove his trademark vinyl wrestling mask for his new state-assembly job

“Hyperactive kid for sale, good at vacuuming, not great at washing dishes because he’s too short.” Internet ad created by Scotsman Alex Wilson to tease his 5-year-old son. Police learned of the ad and ordered Wilson to remove it.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “James Richey”

“We ought to look in a mirror and get proud, and stick out our chests and suck in our bellies and say, ‘Damn, we’re Americans!’ " Retired Lt. Gen. Jay Garner, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s choice to lead reconstruction in Iraq, scolding reporters for dwelling on difficulties in restoring civilian order and services

“He’s obviously one tough guy.” Utah sheriff Sgt. Mitch Vetere, describing a Colorado man who was pinned under a 1,000-pound boulder for five days before he cut off his arm with a pocket knife, rappelled down a rock wall and hiked until he was found by a search helicopter

“We think this is just the time to catch up on reading.” China’s General Administration of Press and Publication, on the preparation of a reading list for people staying at home for fear of SARS. The “16th Party Congress Report,” former president Jiang Zemin’s “Socialism With Chinese Characteristics” and “A History of the Chinese Communist Party” top the list.

“I think the best clue will be if you see the plane flying in a straight line, you’ll know that the Navy pilot is in charge. If it does anything else, it’s an open question.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, on how to tell whether President Bush, a former Texas Air National Guard pilot, had taken the stick during his flight in a small Navy jet en route to his speech on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln

“It is set to be massive… There has already been a lot of interest from record stations and club DJs.” Les Molloy, who is helping produce a dance track featuring catchphrases of Iraq’s former Information minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

“I will not have any disparaging remarks about him except I hate him.” Former Maryland governor William Schaefer, on his successor, Parris Glendening

“There’s no Hatfields and McCoys.” Resident of New Sweden, Maine, Sara Anderson, on there being no feuding families among those poisoned that she was aware of. The arsenic in the Lutheran church’s coffee was deemed homicidal.

“Was I on drugs? I should have invited Celine Dion.” Talk-show host Tina Brown, saying she was intimidated and flustered by the guests she invited to be on her new CNBC show, “Topic A.” The show had terrible ratings despite an impressive guest lineup.

“The sidewalks are like catwalks.” New York University freshman, describing the campus ranked most fashionable by Women’s Wear Daily

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-25” author: “Megan Torres”

“We have the formula here for success.” U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, referring to the establishment of order in Iraq, in an address last week to the Fourth Infantry Division in Tikrit

“I don’t give a damn about Rumsfeld. All I give a damn about is going home.” An unidentified U.S. soldier, reacting to Rumsfeld’s speech

“This paranoid nation and the United States now are facing what I believe to be the greatest threat in the world to regional and global peace.” Former U.S. president Jimmy Carter, commenting on the current standoff between the United States and North Korea over the Asian country’s nuclear program

“What I was saying was that, compared to Europe, America is a very young country and we are still growing as a nation.” Actor Johnny Depp, clarifying comments attributed to him by the German magazine Stern, which quoted him saying the United States was like “a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can hurt.” Depp says he was misquoted.

“This is seriously something I thought about since I was a little girl. I cannot believe this just, like, freakin’ happened! I’m, like, on a very major high right now. I feel very cool!” Pop princess Britney Spears, on sharing an open-mouth kiss with Madonna at the MTV Video Music Awards

“I am tired of being poor. I want to be queen. I hope the king sees me.” Seventeen-year-old Swazilander Nomsa Gama, on why she joined some 50,000 young women who danced topless last week for King Mswati in the annual Reed Dance, with the hope of being tapped to join him–and his 11 other wives–in holy matrimony

“Bookies won’t mess with an illusionist. Otherwise, by magic, we will find ourselves shelling out thousands of pounds.” Warren Lush, spokesman for British bookmakers Ladbrokes, on why they won’t take bets on the success of U.S. magician David Blaine’s latest stunt. Blaine has suspended himself in a plastic box beside the River Thames for 44 days without food.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Sallie Brownlow”

George Odour Ong’wen, a Kenyan delegate to the WTO meeting in Cancun, after trade talks between developed and developing nations collapsed

“In the Middle Ages people were convinced there were witches. They looked for them and they certainly found them.”

Former U.N. chief weapons inspector Hans Blix, criticizing the United States’ and Britain’s insistence before the Iraq war that Saddam Hussein possessed stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction

“We have no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the September 11 attacks.”

U.S. President George W. Bush, in a comment to reporters as he met members of Congress last week. Some 70 percent of Americans believe there was a connection.

“If you want me to do angry, I can do angry. Seven thousand people dying a day is not a cause, it is an emergency.”

Rock star and activist Bono, at a press conference in Washington, D.C., after what he called “a good old row” with President Bush over payment of $15 billion promised to Africa to fight AIDS

“Honey, I think I just shut down Washington.”

U.S. National Weather Service meteorologist Jim Travers, to his wife, after he told officials that Hurricane Isabel would arrive earlier than anticipated

“You can call us many things, but politically stupid we are not.”

Saudi Arabia’s ambassador to the United States, Prince Bandar bin Sultan, after noting that his family has been in power since 1747

“There are no excuses for being a vagabond.”

Bangkok Gov. Samak Sundaravej, announcing plans to clear the streets of homeless people ahead of next month’s Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation meeting of world leaders in Thailand

“If smoking rules here were as strict as they are in New York, I’d emigrate.”

Sofia, an Italian bank worker, on EU Health Commissioner David Byrne’s plans for a Europewide ban on smoking in bars, cafes and restaurants

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Connie Ramirez”

National Weather Service meteorologist Jim Travers, to his wife, after he told city officials that Hurricane Isabel would arrive earlier than anticipated

“There will be a recall in retaliation because the Democrats have promised that.”

California Gov. Gray Davis, on what will happen if he is recalled by voters

“Setbacks make great opportunities for comebacks.”

San Jose State coach Fitz Hill, on Neil Parry, who played his first football game last week after having the lower part of his right leg amputated three years ago

“Here’s a woman who can’t eat soup. Her family can’t eat soup. And, to be honest with you, I haven’t eaten soup since this happened.”

Lawyer Daniel Irvin, on his West Jordan, Utah, client, Tina Keeney, who allegedly found a tooth in her can of Campbell’s soup

“[New Jersey] cooks very good cakes.”

Israeli cabinet minister Natan Sharansky, after being hit in the face by a cream pie thrown by a Palestinian activist at Rutgers University

“President Bush is now urging that all parties put aside ‘past bickering’.”

Texas Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, in a letter to congressional colleagues, urging their support to put the word “French” back in fries and toast on House cafeteria and dining-hall menus

“I would gladly trade some of the homilies that I have given about the Passion of Christ for even a few of the scenes of his film.”

Cardinal Dario Castrillon Hoyos, head of the Vatican department in charge of priests, praising “The Passion,” Mel Gibson’s controversial film about Jesus Christ

“It’s very expensive to outfit a school like this.”

St. Paul, Minn., West High School principal Mary Mackbee, on students’ pledging allegiance to a flag graphic on classroom TVs because the school doesn’t have enough money to provide real flags

“Hopefully, it will have a positive effect on the town.”

Agra, Okla., Mayor Ray Troxtell, on changing the town’s name to Viagra for a week in order to win free concert tickets from a local country-music station for the town’s 370 residents

“I’m a little biased, but I hope they see the charm, the humor, the intelligence, the wise man that he is.”

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan, in an interview with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos about a new book of President Reagan’s letters

“People ask me if it’s legal. I say I don’t care. If you can’t pay a $25 check, how can you pay a lawyer?”

Easton, Pa., grocer Vic Ricci, on posting on his marquee the names of customers who bounce checks

“[I will] when I find a man with more balls than me.” Actress Salma Hayek, on when she will marry

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Jason Seat”

“There is no order! There is no government!” Shatha Saleh, an Iraqi woman who had been praying in the mosque in Najaf, after a bomb exploded outside, killing at least 85 and wounding more than 140

“You want to know whether we were all so frightened that we had to go back to Tokyo to hide behind our beds? The answer is no.” A Japanese official, downplaying North Korea’s threat, made during last week’s talks in Beijing, that it would conduct nuclear testing

“There were legs and hands lying on top and inside my taxi.” Mumbai cabdriver Lal Sahib Singh, who was driving past a bullion market on Aug. 25 when a car bomb exploded, one of two that together killed 46 people in the Indian city

“Campbell is the spider which weaved the web of spin which kept Tony Blair intact.” Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond, commenting on the resignation of Blair’s communications chief, Alastair Campbell, who was at the center of allegations that the British government exaggerated the threat from Iraq. Blair and Campbell denied the charges.

“That’s not democracy. They are trying to have a Stalinist-style one-party system.” Rwandan opposition leader Faustin Twagiramungu, disputing presidential-election results that swept Paul Kagame into power with 94 percent of the vote

“You can’t make it bigger through exercise, that’s for sure.” California gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger, responding to a question about the size of his endowment, in a recently unearthed 1977 interview with the adult magazine Oui titled “Arnold Schwarzenegger on the Sex Secrets of Bodybuilders.”

“I think they’re scary–they’re too organized.” Lee Hyun-Jung, volunteer at the World Student Games in South Korea, on 300 uniformed North Korean cheerleaders sent to the event, who clapped and sang in unison. They outnumbered North Korean athletes three to one, and were kept under strict security during the event.

“It’s embarrassing.” Archeologist Nansi Rosenberg, on the excavation in London of a sadly unfashionable, 2,000-year-old Roman statue that appears to be wearing a sock and a sandal

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-24” author: “Wendy Chavez”

U.S. President George Bush, while paying tribute last week to American soldiers in the Third Infantry Division at Fort Stewart, Georgia

“Devour the Americans just like the lions devour their prey. Bury them in the Iraqi graveyard.”

Statements attributed to Ayman Al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden’s chief lieutenant, in a videotape broadcast last week by the Arab satellite TV channel Al-Jazeera that shows the two men walking in rocky hills

“I am here to complete my healing.”

Beverly Epps, who lost her brother, Christopher, in the September 11 attacks, at a ceremony last week in honor of those who died

“To Jerusalem we are going as martyrs in the millions.”

Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, rallying supporters near his Ramallah compound, after Israel sparked international concern by announcing it would act to “remove” him

“Somebody must shut him up.”

Italian M.P. Fabio Mussi, reacting to newspaper reports in which Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was quoted as saying, “Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on holiday within the borders [of the country].”

“He had such a wealth of experience in his voice, heaven and hell, and no one could touch him.”

Singer Nick Cave, remembering country-music legend Johnny Cash, who died last week after complications from diabetes

“She lit up every room, every conversation. She was a star.”

British Foreign Minister Jack Straw, remembering Swedish Foreign Minister Anna Lindh, who was stabbed to death last week in a Stockholm department store

“Come on, dog meat is so delicious.”

Phnom Penh city governor Kep Chuktema, quoted in a Cambodian newspaper, urging readers to eat more canines in an effort to reduce the city’s stray-dog problem

“There seems to be an interest by the sculptor to present the penis as the main attraction.”

Kingston resident Jenny Francis, complaining about a statue, unveiled recently to mark the anniversary of the end of slavery in Jamaica, that includes a naked male slave whose large endowment has sparked public debate

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Deborah Cloutier”

U.S. President George Bush, while paying tribute last week to American soldiers in the Third Infantry Division at Fort Stewart, Georgia

“Devour the Americans just like the lions devour their prey. Bury them in the Iraqi graveyard.”

Statements attributed to Ayman Al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden’s chief lieutenant, in a videotape broadcast last week by the Arab satellite TV channel Al-Jazeera that shows the two men walking in rocky hills

“I am here to complete my healing.”

Beverly Epps, who lost her brother, Christopher, in the September 11 attacks, at a ceremony last week in honor of those who died

“To Jerusalem we are going as martyrs in the millions.”

Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, rallying supporters near his Ramallah compound, after Israel sparked international concern by announcing it would act to “remove” him

“Somebody must shut him up.”

Italian M.P. Fabio Mussi, reacting to newspaper reports in which Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was quoted as saying, “Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini used to send people on holiday within the borders [of the country].”

“He had such a wealth of experience in his voice, heaven and hell, and no one could touch him.”

Singer Nick Cave, remembering country-music legend Johnny Cash, who died last week after complications from diabetes

“She lit up every room, every conversation. She was a star.”

British Foreign Minister Jack Straw, remembering Swedish Foreign Minister Anna Lindh, who was stabbed to death last week in a Stockholm department store

“Come on, dog meat is so delicious.”

Phnom Penh city governor Kep Chuktema, quoted in a Cambodian newspaper, urging readers to eat more canines in an effort to reduce the city’s stray-dog problem

“There seems to be an interest by the sculptor to present the penis as the main attraction.”

Kingston resident Jenny Francis, complaining about a statue, unveiled recently to mark the anniversary of the end of slavery in Jamaica, that includes a naked male slave whose large endowment has sparked public debate

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Kelli Towers”

“Having chicks around is the kind of thing that breaks up the intense training. It gives you relief, and then afterward you go back to the serious stuff.” Arnold Schwarzenegger, on his life as a body-builder, as quoted in an interview published in the August 1977 issue of Oui, a defunct men’s magazine published by Playboy

“The odds that Mars will crash into the Earth are about as good as the Detroit Tigers winning the 2003 World Series in four games.” Joe Rao, Space.com’s Night Sky columnist, who says he has been inundated with e-mails asking if Mars’s being close is dangerous

“It’s an attention grabber.” Mark Knudsen, director of planning in Ottawa County, Mich., on a new scratch-and-sniff brochure that smells of manure to educate would-be residents on the realities of rural living

“The scene is set for another accident.” Columbia Accident Investigation Board, in a report last week blaming the destruction of the space shuttle Columbia (and the deaths of its seven astronauts) on NASA’s soft-on-safety culture

“Californians are asking for Bustamante and we’re delivering him–as a chalupa.” Greg Creed, chief marketing officer for Taco Bell Corp., on the company’s in-store gubernatorial Taco Poll in California. A crunchy beef taco counts as one vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a soft chicken taco counts for not recalling Gov. Gray Davis. If customers want Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, they should order a chalupa.

“We’ll know it when we smell it.” Murfreesboro, Tenn., Councilman Toby Gilley, on the standard that will be used to enforce a new policy that requires all city employees to smell nice when reporting for work

“I will have no mercy on you if this man goes to jail.” A letter to Judge Fredrick Gannett, who is presiding over the sexual-assault case against NBA star Kobe Bryant. The note was signed “Jesus Christ, the Black Messiah.”

“I don’t know what type of counseling someone could undergo for this kind of behavior.” Judge Paul Losapio, of the Uxbridge, Mass., district court, on a man accused of licking a woman’s feet in a grocery store. He was sentenced to 18 months in prison.

“People come up with great excuses why they can’t make it to court.” Minnesota State Trooper Glen Knippenberg, on a man who missed a court hearing by running a fake obituary in the local newspaper

“It’s too sissy, dude.” Dennis Sandoval, a sun worshiper and part-time surfer, on the 75th anniversary of Speedo swimwear

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Yvonne Polito”

“I’ve seen guys marry carbon copies of the lady they divorced. What is so eerie about this?” O. J. Simpson, on why he is still “turned on” by women who resemble his murdered ex-wife, Nicole Brown

“I guess in nine months, we’re going to see the biggest baby boom we’ve ever seen.” Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman, on the potential consequences of the Aug. 14 blackout

“History will be kind to me.” Charles Taylor, the former Liberian warlord turned president, who has been accused of multiple war crimes during his rule of the West African country

“It’s the recession. I know my Budweiser stock is my best performer.” State Rep. Ty McCartney, on why Utah’s alcohol sales have increased over 2002’s Olympic year

“To do my duty, I must obey God.” Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, on why he has defied federal court rulings that said he had violated the separation of church and state by installing a 5,280-pound monument of the Ten Commandments in the state Supreme Court lobby. The other justices of the court voted unanimously against him.

“The strangest thing is that he asked no questions when the doctor started preparations in the area which had so little to do with his ear.” Vanessa Guimaraes, the manager of a clinic in Montes Claros, Brazil, on a man who came in with an earache and left with a vasectomy. He did not reverse the procedure.

“We will look at anyone who moves.” Kanawha County Sheriff David Tucker, on his department’s investigation into the West Virginia sniper who has killed three people in the Charleston area

“Heck, he’s been around here forever. He played here. He coached here. His son, Barry, becomes what he is here.” San Francisco Giants outfielder Marvin Benard, on the death of Bobby Bonds, 57, one of the first major leaguers to blend home-run power with speed. He hit 332 homers and stole 461 bases during his 14-year career.

“You can’t be stoned or drunk and act, but you’re done acting at the end of the day.” Actor Peter Riegert (who played Boon), on the making of the 1978 movie “Animal House,” at the cast’s “class reunion” held in Hollywood last week

“Spam has been part of the Hawaiian culture for decades.” Nick Meyer, senior product manager for Hormel Foods, on the Spam Hawaii Collector’s Edition, which will be available in limited quantities only in Hawaiian grocery stores. Hawaiians eat more Spam per capita than any other group in the United States.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Gerald Lacey”

“America is dumb; it’s like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you.” Actor Johnny Depp, telling the German magazine Stern why he lives in France. He has since said the quote was taken out of context and that he loves the United States.

“I feel sad, which is not a typical emotion for me.” Martha Stewart, on the fraud and obstruction of justice charges she faces

“This guy owes me bacon now.” Film star and California gubernatorial candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger, on getting hit with an egg as he arrived to campaign at a college campus

“No one would ever see me like that. My husband doesn’t ever see me like that.” Montana Gov. Judy Martz, on a state-history mural that features a nude dancer some say resembles her

“We defeated the Flintstones.” Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, on the status of Iraq’s military

“He apparently didn’t know what he had.” Janesville, Wis., correctional officer Thomas Roth, on a 40-year-old man who was tracked by the $2,500 Global Positioning System device he stole

“Why you are building the wall in my land? Build it in your land.” A 73-year-old Palestinian, one of 4,500 farmers who have been separated from their crops by a security fence, which was built by Israel to guard against suicide bombers

“This is seriously something I thought about since I was a little girl. I cannot believe this just, like, freakin’ happened! I’m, like, on a very major high right now. I feel very cool!” Pop princess Britney Spears, on sharing an open-mouth kiss with Madonna at the MTV Video Music Awards

“We should be building a nation of strong black leaders, not a nation of superenergized, drunk pimps.” Rev. Paul Scott, founder of the Messianic Afrikan Nation in Durham, N.C., on the launch of rapper Nelly’s new nonalcoholic energy drink, Pimp Juice

“We’re really trying to upgrade our talent.” Renaldo Agostino, marketing manager for three strip clubs in Windsor, Ontario, on the clubs’ promotion to help pay the tuition of strippers who are enrolled at the University of Windsor

“The notion that gay men have a superior fashion sense is not true, and it’s damaging… It’s perfectly possible to enjoy that show and say, ‘Look at those clever homosexuals–what they do with hair!’ And not support gays at all.” Openly gay Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank, on why he finds “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” offensive

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Danny Scudder”

“One night without electricity, and they are complaining.” Ahmad Faris, a 12-year-old soft-drink vendor in Baghdad, on the blackout. Iraq has seen severe power shortages since the U.S. invasion.

“This man is a very big fish.” Australian Prime Minister John Howard, on last week’s capture of Riduan Isamuddin, a.k.a. Hambali. The man described as Al Qaeda’s point man in Southeast Asia is believed to have organized the Bali terror attacks and helped plan others, including 9/11.

“The only thing that would satisfy us more would be to have Kaddafi’s head delivered on a platter… and [to] let us all walk by it and spit on it.” George Williams, former president of the Victims of Pan Am Flight 103, on news of a $2.7 billion settlement in the case of the Lockerbie bombing, which many blame on the Libyan leader. Williams lost his son in the tragedy.

“Thank Allah for America.” Monrovia resident Abu Jalloh, welcoming the landing of U.S. Marines in Liberia, where the first food-relief shipments in weeks began to arrive to help a desperate population

“The man was absolutely evil.” Ugandan journalist Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, on deceased Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, who executed an estimated 300,000 people during his brutal rule

“I’ve been playing it to our camels here and I swear they’re swinging their tails to the music.” Camel handler Janet Geappen, who has been blasting Verdi’s “Aida” at six Australian dromedaries to prepare them for a production of the opera in South Korea

“He was just drunk.” An unnamed woman, quoted by German judge Beatrix Homann, explaining why she still loves her boyfriend despite the fact that he bit off her nose

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Joseph Johnston”

“I think if people want to divorce their wives, they should resort to a much more personal approach.” Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, days after an Islamic court allowed men to divorce their wives by sending cell-phone text messages. Islamic law states that a man can divorce his wife by declaring “I divorce you” three times.

“It’s just our way of correcting her version of history.” Kris Tinn, chapter leader of conservative group Free Republic, on its “audio protests” outside bookstores where Sen. Hillary Clinton signs copies of her memoir, “Living History.” The musical statement includes Tammy Wynette’s “Stand by Your Man” and “The Bitch Is Back” by Elton John.

“We have covered everything in this loch, and we saw no signs of any large living animal.” Ian Florence, a BBC researcher who surveyed the waters said to hide Scotland’s legendary tourist attraction the Loch Ness monster

“This is not a touchy-feely situation.” William Salzman, principal of New York City’s new high school for gay students

“He’s a piece of trash waiting to be collected.” Secretary of State Colin Powell, on Saddam Hussein

“I don’t care what you label me as long as you call me president.’’ Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean, on why he’s not too liberal to get elected

“He was tender with all of us. Usually the daughter is close to her mother, but we would go to him. He was our friend.” Saddam Hussein’s youngest daughter, Rana, on her father

“When Stalin died I rescinded that order.” Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev, quoted in a new book, “John Wayne–The Man Behind the Myth,” on his predecessor’s apparent obsession with assassinating legendary actor John Wayne

“I obviously missed [sex].” The Dalai Lama, on a monk’s lifestyle

“California is the most progressive state in the union. I don’t think anyone here will have a problem with a smut peddler as governor.” Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt, on filing paperwork to run in the gubernatorial recall election. The registered Dem said he would solve state budget woes by expanding slot-machine gambling.

“We asked for an alligator, we paid for an alligator and unfortunately we did not get an alligator.” University of Florida spokesman Steve McClain, after a crocodile–not the school’s namesake alligator–was pictured on the cover of its 2003 football media guide

“We did not intend to offend anyone.” A statement issued by Chicago’s Glenview State Bank, apologizing for a bank newsletter praising Adolf Hitler as an economic leader of the 1930s

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Charles Searle”

“I believe it’s time for us to get our brand back.” Jon Miller, head of AOL Time Warner’s America Online division, in an e-mail to company employees on dropping the moniker AOL from the official corporate name because he felt scandals surrounding the media company were hurting his “consumer brand”

“In fact, probably after the towering success of ‘Gigli,’ I suspect Miramax will find a way to sell it as other than a ‘me and Jen’ movie.” Ben Affleck, on his forthcoming movie “Jersey Girl,” in which he costars with fiancee Jennifer Lopez

“Though Spock fully analyzes each situation, he gets too caught up in the details. Emotion allows Kirk to focus and enhances his ability to make critical decisions.” A trio of visiting scholars at the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, in a report that used “Star Trek” characters as examples in the debate about investor psychology

“I’m glad that Gary Coleman lives in California. A guy like me that believes in limited government probably would have a tough time against a fellow like that because he probably symbolizes smaller government.” Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, joking about the recall election

“Don’t you have a room for this? Some curtains?” Airplane passenger Martin Holness, on being asked to remove his pants during a security check at Florida’s Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport before a trip to Chicago

“The commonest complication is failure to make any difference.” President of the Australian Society of Plastic Surgery Dr. Alfred Lewis, on penis-enlargement surgery. He believes men who ask for such operations have a “fairly profound psychological disturbance.”

“It’s been in there for a year, and it’s ghastly.” Larry Johnson, former chief operating officer of the Alcor Life Extension Foundation, on Ted Williams’s head, which he asserts was removed after his death and frozen. Alcor, citing confidentiality, refuses to confirm that Williams is at its facility.

“Canadians aren’t doing too well with Americans this year. We have SARS, we opposed the war and now we’ve blown out their lights.” Toronto resident Rebecca Eckler

“I’m incredibly shocked by this news.” Courtney Love, on the revelation that Marlon Brando may be her grandfather, an assertion made by Love’s mother, Linda Carroll, in a new book. Brando has not commented.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Theodore Mueller”

“This is just the sort of thing that happens when you forbid New York to smoke.” Tobias von Schonebeck, a Berlin tour guide, on the “flash mob” phenomenon that has spread to cities worldwide. Arranged on short notice by e-mail Web sites and e-mail lists, flash mobs meet at an appointed time, engage in organized spontaneity for a few minutes and then rapidly disperse.

“I had to keep my dog in, lock him up all day.” Sam Nagbe, project director of British anti-famine agency Oxfam, on the food shortage in Monrovia, Liberia, where some residents have resorted to eating their pets to stay alive

“We had a match that seemed perfect, until we discovered that one was a cattle rancher’s son and the other was a vegan.” Leslie Marsicano, of Davidson College in North Carolina, on finding roommates for new students

“We are a flea on the American religious landscape, and yet we always seem to attract more attention than we deserve.” Bishop Edward Little, on the Episcopal Church’s decision to allow the blessing of same-sex couples the day after the church approved the election of an openly gay bishop

“Brewers are working around the clock. Overtime is common, people are working weekends and breweries are on triple shifts.” Erich Deterichs, managing director of the German Beer Brewers Association. Sales leaped 9.3 percent in June during one of Europe’s hottest summers on record.

“Jane, come here. Me, Tarzan!” Boston immigration Judge Thomas Ragno, to a Ugandan woman seeking political asylum in the United States. Ragno has been suspended.

“I didn’t meet the bar. But I think truly and honestly it has no relevancy to what I do every day.” Wilfredo Laboy, the school superintendent of Lawrence, Mass., on failing a basic literacy test for the third time

“I’m absolutely certain my bird mistook it for a rat.” Falconer Thomas Cullen, after his bird, which is used to scare off pigeons and rodents, attacked and gored a Chihuahua in a New York City park

“I think Texas is a unique and important state.” State Rep. Dan Branch, on a new requirement that all Texas schoolchildren pledge allegiance to the state flag: “Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one and indivisible”

“You can’t find a better fraternity brother.” Retiring Sen. Ernest F. Hollings, on President George W. Bush

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Joe Citron”

Brig. Gen. Frank Helmick, on the raid that killed ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein’s sons, Uday and Qusay

“In a few days they will show us another fat body with a beard and say it’s Saddam.”

Zohair Maty, a 30-year-old Iraqi laborer, skeptical that pictures of Saddam Hussein’s sons were authentic

“We’ve seen surfboards, pieces of Styrofoam, bathtubs, refrigerators. But never an automobile.”

Coast Guard Petty Officer Ryan Doss, on 12 Cubans who tried to sail a 1951 Chevy truck from the communist-ruled island to the United States

“Don’t run. You will be terminated.”

San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, warning Arnold Schwarzenegger against running for governor in the recall election this fall

“Fourteen-year-old girls steal lipstick, not rob banks.”

Detective Michael Duffy, of Barnegat, N.J., on a bank heist that involved an entire family, including 14-year-old twin sisters

“To me, this is more important than the presidential visit we had last year.”

Army veteran Larry Knopp, who waited hours to see the parade in Elizabeth, W. Va., honoring former prisoner of war Pfc. Jessica Lynch

“Simply put, our results show that Kansas is considerably flatter than a pancake.”

Conclusion by geographers from Southwest Texas State University in a report on the topography of Kansas

“You know, everybody makes mistakes when they are president.”

Former president Bill Clinton, on faulty intelligence included in President George W. Bush’s State of the Union Message

“I don’t do quagmires.”

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, searching for a word to describe the current operation in Iraq

“Justice requires the evidence be reviewed and considered in its entirety.”

Hamilton County, Ohio, Judge Richard Niehaus, declaring a mistrial in an obscenity case after a male juror fell asleep while watching a porn movie that was key evidence

“It isn’t as if I killed anyone against their will.”

German cannibal Herr Miewes, who met a fellow fantasist on the Internet and subsequently ate him

“You cannot be a good Santa if you smell of alcohol.”

Garcia Quintero, member of an international coalition of department-store Santas, renewing his vow to stay away from booze while on the job

“I’m a person who hasn’t had a relationship in a very long time and hasn’t had sex for over a year, so I find my personal life really boring.”

Actress Angelina Jolie, on her off-screen life

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Florence Gafford”

“He’s a piece of trash waiting to be collected.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, on Saddam Hussein

“There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family.” Excerpt from a document released by the Vatican, which came out against same-sex marriages last week

“Everything collapsed in one moment.” Vera Khalitskaya, whose daughter-in-law Yelena is still buried in rubble from a suicide bombing at a military hospital in southern Russia that killed at least 41. The blast has been blamed on Chechen separatists.

“The energy is downright sucked out of M.P. s’ heads by the glass dome.” Feng shui adviser Wilhelm Wuschko, blaming the bad design of the Parliament building for German politicians’ lack of ideas

“It’s cool. Go on with your lives. The military is in control.” Philippine Defense Secretary Angelo Reyes, dismissing reports of unauthorized movements by as many as 1,500 troops, after the recent mutiny by disgruntled military officers

“We hope of course that instead of sending messages, he would look at the picture of his beautiful wife, call and talk to her over the phone.” Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, reacting to a ruling by an Islamic court that a man can divorce his wife via text messaging. The Malaysian government plans to bar the practice.

“Strip now, before it’s too late.” Siep de Haan, organizer of a recent gay-pride parade in Amsterdam, urging participants to disrobe to fight what he calls a growing prudishness in the Netherlands city known for its freewheeling ways

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Mickey Washburn”

“In a few days they will show us another fat body with a beard and say it’s Saddam.” Zohair Maty, a 30-year-old Iraqi, reacting to photos showing the bodies of Saddam Hussein’s sons, Uday and Qusay, killed in a raid by U.S. forces

“By what logic would we support a cult that is trying to kill us?” Prince Bandar bin Sultan, Saudi ambassador to the United States, attacking a congressional report on the September 11 attacks that claimed the Saudis may have supplied money to one of the hijackers

“We’ve seen surfboards, pieces of Styrofoam, bathtubs, refrigerators. But never an automobile.” Coast Guard Petty Officer Ryan Doss, on 12 Cubans who tried to sail a 1951 Chevy truck from the communist-ruled island to the United States

“I’m not going to praise the court or thank the judges for this sentence.” Russian Army Col. Yuri D. Budanov, on a military court’s sentencing him to 10 years in prison for the murder of an 18-year-old woman in Chechnya. He is the highest-ranking officer so far to be convicted for what international rights groups say are routine abuses against Chechen civilians.

“The fact is that young people could be the horrible pervy Internet people.” Angela Carr, lead author of a New Zealand study that found that many people investigated for possession or trade in illegal pornography were young male students

“He was our Loch Ness monster.” Uwe Heil, resident of the German city of Monchengladbach, where a giant catfish named Kuno–which became famous for swallowing a dachshund puppy whole in 2001–recently washed up dead

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Melanie Lerer”

“With which country?” President George W. Bush, when asked by the press pool about going to war

“If there is any risk that this baby is taken away from the family, it is better to lose your credibility; don’t do the testing.” Rael, head of the Raelians, a sect that believes mankind was created by extraterrestrials, on genetically testing “Eve,” a newborn he claims the Raelian-affiliated company Clonaid created as the first human clone

“In hot pursuit, we’re going to chase down the bad guys.” U.S. military spokesman Maj. Stephen Clutter, on pursuing fleeing Taliban fighters into Pakistan after an American was wounded at the border

“Your own ZIP code will now be 95526.” Excerpt from a description for Bridgeville, Calif., the first town to be sold on eBay. Almost 250 bids were cast, with the auction closing at $1,777,877.

“He sneaked out before he could get any thanks or glory–a true hero.” Capt. Ken Kronheim, of Florida’s Broward County Fire Rescue, on Senate Majority Leader and doctor Bill Frist’s stopping at an accident scene to help emergency workers treat five victims of an SUV crash

“Be Careful!!–I wouldn’t want this to get out. I would strongly recommend Never to put this in writing!!” Notes in the margin of a Tyco International Ltd. internal memo, found during an investigation the company commissioned by outside lawyer David Boies, urging managers to “create stories” to support accounting decisions

“This is an emergency situation.” Dr. Donald Hofreuter, chief executive of Wheeling Hospital, on at least 39 surgeons in West Virginia who have walked off the job, saying malpractice insurance is sometimes costing them more than they make

“Think back to what New York City was like 100 years ago. The population was less than half of what it is today. Teddy Roosevelt was president, and the Yankees were called the Highlanders.” New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, on the fact that Manhattan’s 2002 murder rate–82–was the lowest the borough has seen in more than a century

“Most, if not all, of the kids did not know him.” Stanislaus County, Calif., Sheriff’s Deputy Tom Letras, on a 16-year-old boy who, while wearing his probation officer’s clothing, persuaded the parents of 11 teens on probation to let him take their kids miniature golfing as a reward for good behavior

“I’m just a simple girl from the Bronx.” Jennifer Lopez, on being a singer/dancer/actress/restaurateur/designer and engaged to People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” Ben Affleck

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Julie Allender”

“The people of Baghdad have resolved to compel the Mongols of this age to commit suicide on its walls.” Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, comparing present-day Americans to Central Asian invaders who destroyed Baghdad more than 800 years ago

“We will fight with our prayer beads.” Methodius, an Orthodox Christian monk, on the Greek government’s efforts to evict him and his fellow clergy from their 1,000-year-old monastery

“I trust Bush with my daughter, but I trust Clinton with my job.” Ironworker Craig Patterson, on President Bush’s oft-criticized handling of the American economy

“It’s a sad indictment on our society that the only way to make ourselves heard is to remove our clothing. But that’s the way it is.” Naked protester Donna Sheehan, on her California-based group’s eye-raising demonstrations againstthe United States’ stance on Iraq

“Argentina is already in purgatory. Without this deal it would have been on the bottom rung of hell.” Economist Edwin Truman, on the IMF’s rolling over Argentina’s payment of $6.6 billion in debt through August

“I bet the heart monitor was singing the tune of ‘Staying Alive’.” British TV presenter Graham Norton, on the death of Bee Gees singer Maurice Gibb. Norton’s joke received widespread criticism.

Quotation sources from top to bottom, left to right: CNN, AP, BBC, New York Times, Agence France-Presse, New York Times, BBC, Press Release

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Corinna Rhodes”

“Watch out, ‘Gunsmoke.’ You’re next.” Al Jean, “The Simpsons” executive producer, on the show’s being renewed through its 16th season in 2005 (“Gunsmoke” ran for a record 20 years)

“You can’t be drunk in a bar.” Fairfax County, Va., Police Chief J. Thomas Manger, on why plainclothes officers arrested nine bar patrons who voluntarily submitted to sobriety tests

“The fact that the inspectors have not yet come up with new evidence of Iraq’s WMD program could be evidence, in and of itself, of Iraq’s noncooperation.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in response to chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix’s statement last week that his teams had found no “smoking guns” in Iraq

“It ignores available race-neutral alternatives and amounts to a forbidden racial quota.” Excerpt from a legal brief filed with the Supreme Court by President Bush’s lawyers on an affirmative-action program at the University of Michigan that targets minority students

KEEP YOUR WOMEN/CHILDREN AWAY. MOLESTER LIVES HERE. GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM–HELL. Signs hanging across the street from Las Nutrias, N.M., resident David Siebers, a recently released convicted rapist who investigators warn is still dangerous

“Since the Virginia Supreme Court said that I can’t be charged with capital murder again, I figured I would tell you the rest of what happened on Jan. 29, 1999, to show you how stupid all of y’all are.” Paul Powell, a Manassas, Va., resident who mistakenly believed a court ruling prevented him from getting the death penalty. He was convicted of capital murder after his confession.

“I’m going to go from complete success to complete failure. I’m going to make a bunch of movies like ‘THX.’ And if people don’t like it, too bad.” Director George Lucas, on his career after “Star Wars”

“This is me. Like it or lump it… I’m not a twig and I refuse to be one. I’m happy with the way I am.” Actress Kate Winslet, speaking out against men’s magazine GQ for digitally enhancing photographs of her to make her look slimmer

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Lindsey Parker”

“My dream came true today.” Student Sahar Alvandi, 17, who joined the first group of women in Iran to be allowed inside a sports stadium to attend a soccer match

“I’ll never board a plane again for the rest of my life. I still haven’t overcome the shock.” Aliye Il, who survived the Turkish air crash that killed 75 people

“We have not found any smoking guns.” U.N. chief weapons inspector Hans Blix, on his findings during the past two months in Iraq

“The problem with guns that are hidden is you can’t see their smoke.” White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, maintaining the Bush adminstration’s line that Saddam Hussein is harboring weapons of mass destruction

“The divide in the modern world is not the so-called ‘clash of civilizations’ between Islam and the West. The divide is between order and chaos.” British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, duringa recent trip to Jakarta

“To the uniformed puppet opening this bag–congratulations. You’ve just brought this once free nation one step closer to becoming a fascist police state.” A note inside a Maine couple’s checked luggage that contained a fake bomb. The couple was protesting increased security measures at U.S. airports.

“I’m honored and terrified that I won’t live up to the job of really presenting this man.” Actor Morgan Freeman, on portraying South Africa’s ex-president Nelson Mandela in a film version of his autobiography

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Ana Augustine”

“I hope Saint Peter is prepared for the kinds of questions that nearly a dozen presidents had to face.” Former president Bill Clinton, on the death of Sarah McClendon, the nation’s longest-serving White House reporter, who grilled presidents from Franklin D. Roosevelt through George W. Bush

“She can do anything better than you.” AmIAnnoying.com, on why the 1.4 million voters on its site chose embattled domestic goddess and businesswoman Martha Stewart as their most annoying person of 2002

“There’s no question that the hype is true: this is an early-morning administration. People don’t stay out to all hours, even the twentysomethings.” Edward McNally, general counsel in the White House Office of Homeland Security, on the social scene among the current administration

“We have not found any smoking guns.” U.N. chief weapons inspector Hans Blix, on his findings during the past two months in Iraq

“By God, do not prevent new Muslim souls from taking part in the Jihad… which consists of killing all Americans, just like they kill us all.” Excerpt from a new letter purportedly written by senior Qaeda leader Ayman Al-Zawahiri to Montasser el-Zayat, a lawyer for an Egyptian Islamic group, who suggested that Al Qaeda should end its campaign against Americans

“I still have some faith in the system that eventually these men would have received justice in our courts, but the old adage is true: justice delayed is justice denied.” Illinois Gov. George Ryan, on pardoning death-row inmates who insist their confessions were tortured out of them by Chicago police

“To my understanding, my character is not off the show. He’s still talked about, he’s on a business trip.” Former “All My Children” star Michael Nader, who is suing ABC to get his job back after he left the show for two years to recover from a drug addiction

“I think in a way we’re finding ourselves going back full circle to the 1950s.” Producer Michael Davies, on a new variety show, set to premiere this summer, that will have no commercial breaks. The show will highlight advertisers in various other ways, like putting singers on a set dominated by a logo or building comedy routines around a product.

“Oops! I knew that was going to happen. I knew I was going to pronounce someone’s name wrong.” Eighteen-year-old Canadian singer Avril Lavigne, on mispronouncing veteran rock star David Bowie’s name (it rhymes with “doughy,” not “Howie”) while announcing the Grammy nominees for best male rock vocal performance

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Gene Carey”

“Even if they open all the doors in Iraq for us and keep them open 24 hours a day, we won’t be able to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if it is not there.” Unnamed U.N. weapons inspector, on the need for the United States to share its intelligence of Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction

“If at the end of my mandate all Brazilians have the possibility to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, I will have fulfilled the mission of my life.” Brazilian President Luiz Inacio da Silva, popularly known as Lula, in his inauguration speech

“Be Careful!!–I wouldn’t want this to get out. I would strongly recommend Never to put this in writing!!” Notes in the margin of a Tyco International Ltd. internal memo, found during an investigation the company commissioned by outside lawyer David Boies, urging managers to “create stories” to support accounting decisions

“All that is left is the bare trunk of coconut trees with the sand halfway up the trees.” Martin Karani, of the Solomons’ National Disaster Management Office, on a powerful cyclone that virtually washed away the small South Pacific village of Tikopia

“You will fear me.” Outgoing governor of Minnesota Jesse (The Body) Ventura, to reporters in his final press conference. Ventura has often complained about the media’s intrusion into his private life.

“We like to celebrate the new year underwater.” Russian reveler Andrei Baranovsky, who planted a decorated Christmas tree, along with 17 other scuba divers, 55 feet below the ice in Siberia’s Lake Baikal, the world’s deepest lake

“The bin Laden is the most dangerous… that is powerful gunpowder.” Venezuelan firecracker seller Juan Diego Ramirez, 22, on a particularly loud type of firecracker named after the Qaeda leader

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Claire Simpkins”

“What we need now is not just a regime change in Saddam Hussein and Iraq, but we need a regime change in the United States.” U.S. senator and presidential hopeful John Kerry, suggesting that “it will take a new president” to repair the damage done by the current Bush administration

“Instead of having one [Osama] bin Laden, we will have 100 bin Ladens.” Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, predicting that the U.S.-led war in Iraq will fuel anger against the West in the Islamic world, driving more Muslims to terrorist attacks

“There’s a small island, inhabited in the South Pacific, that I will try to swim to. I’ll leave; I’m embarrassed.” Veteran war correspondent Peter Arnett, who was fired by NBC, MSNBC and National Geographic after he was interviewedon Iraqi state television, where he said the U.S. war campaign against Saddam had been a failure. He was later hired by the Daily Mirror in Britain.

“I like wearing masks because they can hide my pimples and make me look mysterious.” Marketing executive Jane Chan, on shrewd retailers in Hong Kong selling stylish face masks so residents can fashionably protect themselves against the SARS virus

“When this animal was alive, it really had to be one of the most frightening predators out there. It’s without parallel in the oceans.” Marine biologist Steve O’Shea, on a rare squid with eyes the size of dinner plates and scores of razor-sharp hooks that was caught by fishermen off Antarctica. It’s only the second specimen ever found intact.

“I get quite a few phone calls. Some say… unpleasant things, but most people on the line are young people who laugh, say cheeky things and ask if I am really called Saddam Hussein.” Norway resident Saddam Hussein, who fled Iraq two years ago, on sharing the same first and last name with that country’s dictator

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Rod Weber”

“Medically and morally, I thought it was the right thing to do.” Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s medical correspondent and a neurosurgeon, on stepping in to perform emergency brain surgery in a vain effort to save the life of a 2-year-old Iraqi boy wounded at a U.S. Marine checkpoint

“There’s a small island, inhabited in the South Pacific, that I will try to swim to. I’ll leave; I’m embarrassed.” Veteran war correspondent Peter Arnett, sounding contrite after he was fired by NBC, MSNBC and National Geographic for giving an interview on Iraqi television in which he said the U.S. war plan against Saddam Hussein had failed

“When this animal was alive, it really has to be one of the most frightening predators out there. It’s without parallel in the oceans.” Marine biologist Steve O’Shea, on a rare squid with eyes the size of dinner plates and scores of razor-sharp hooks that was caught by fishermen off Antarctica. It’s only the second intact specimen ever found.

“Instead of having one [Osama] bin Laden, we will have 100 bin Ladens.” Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, predicting that the U.S.-led war on Iraq will drive more Muslims to anti-Western militancy

“You loser, you are too small to talk to the leader of Iraq and those who will be swept away from the land of the Arab world are people like you. You are a minion and a lackey.” Iraqi Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan, telling Saudi Arabia’s foreign minister to “go to hell” after he reiterated a call for President Saddam Hussein to step down to spare Iraq

“What we need now is not just a regime change in Saddam Hussein and Iraq, but we need a regime change in the United States.” Presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry suggesting that “it will take a new president” to repair the damage Bush has done

“I like wearing masks because they can hide my pimples and make me look mysterious. I think people in Hong Kong are looking better now that they’re wearing masks.” Marketing executive Jane Chan, on shrewd retailers in Hong Kong selling stylish face masks so residents can fashionably combat the spread of SARS, which has infected more than 2,000 people worldwide

“In fact, I hate it quite a lot. All acting, but especially movie acting.” Actor Hugh Grant, who says he fell into acting “by mistake” and insists that he is not as charming as the characters he often plays

“You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It’s a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel.” Comedian Janeane Garofalo, on anger at the Dixie Chicks

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Susan Mahon”

“No to America, no to Saddam, our revolution is Islamic.” Iraqi demonstrators chanting outside a Sunni Muslim mosque in Baghdad

“It was like a horrible nightmare. I thought I would wake up out of this. I felt emotionally raped.” Family member of a deceased 65-year-old Muslim woman, on discovering that her corpse, which laid overnight in a British morgue, was covered with bacon

“If you put a lot of men in a pub environment and there is beer and marbles, what are they going to choose?” World Marbles Championship spokeswoman Julia McCarthy-Fox, on the British team’s losing in the finals for the second year in a row to the Germans. The event was held in a pub.

“We hunted them with rocks, as Stone Age as that sounds.” Cpl. Joshua Wicksell, on the gazelles he and his Marine squadron have begun eating in place of their military rations

“You’re talking to a working actor. If they want an old man with sloppy speech, they come to me. I have a monopoly.” Octogenarian Kirk Douglas, on whether his having suffered a stroke has affected his acting career

“I want to go home. But my spirit is unbroken. Things must get better soon.” Message in a bottle penned by two concentration-camp inmates and left inside a wall in Berlin 59 years ago. The bottle was recently unearthed by construction workers.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Paul Rolfes”

Brig. Gen. John F. Kelly, on the fierce Iraqi resistance that has hindered the advancement of Coalition troops

“I do get a perverse pleasure out of it because, after all, CNN did dump me four years ago, I thought unfairly.”

Veteran war correspondent Peter Arnett, on reporting for NBC from Baghdad four years after he was forced out of CNN over the Tailwind debacle

“This broadcast was brought to you by: Freedom Cyber Force Militia. God bless our troops!!!”

Message on Al-Jazeera Web site after cybervandals replaced the Arab network news site with a stars-and-stripes logo saying LET FREEDOM RING

“I make this commitment: people who vote against this today are voting against me, and I will not forget it.”

Senate Appropriations Committee chairman Ted Stevens, on a bill to allow oil and gas drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

“Every time we’ve lost, it’s because we didn’t score enough points.”

Sonics guard Ray Allen, stating the obvious

“It’s a Great Day to Be a Soldier.”

The official motto at Fort Bliss, Texas, home base of a dozen GIs killed or captured near the southern Iraqi city of An Nasiriya

“He’s very kind to Christians.”

The Rev. Jacob Yasso, on Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, who donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to his Detroit church and received a key to the city more than two decades ago

“Neither the Bush administration nor their bombs are ‘smart’.”

Iraq’s Health Minister Umid Madhat Mubarak, accusing Coalition forces of targeting Iraqi civilians

“Where would you draw a line?… Suppose someone wants to tie pink ribbons or black flags or a Confederate flag or a Nazi flag on public property?”

Fieldsboro, N.J., Mayor Edward Tyler, on the city council’s unanimously banning war tributes, such as yellow ribbons, on public property

“What you see is real. I am really that high.”

Singer Celine Dion, on opening a three-year engagement at the new $95 million Colosseum theater in Las Vegas with a performance in which she flew from the stage

“We wanted to slow down on this lying. Plus, I’m bored… It’s been a long winter.”

Mt. Sterling, Iowa, Acting Mayor Jo Hamlet, on city council members’ proposing an ordinance that would prohibit lying among the town’s 40 residents

“I guess MTV doesn’t have a research department, because from day one we’ve said in interviews that our name is a slang term for the bouffant hairdo Kate and Cindy used to wear–nothing to do with bombers.”

Fred Schneider, a singer for the B-52s, on an MTV Europe memo recommending that songs or groups with military themes not be played during the Iraq war

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Terrell Lampl”

“There’s no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It’s more like Portsmouth.” An unnamed British soldier contradicting U.K. Defense Secretary Geoff Hoon–who had likened the Iraqi port city of Umm Qasr to the British town of Southampton

“If I am Hitler, then this Hitler has only sought justice for his people, the sovereignty of his people, recognition for his people and their right over their resources.” President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe, responding to critics who have compared him to the German dictator for his harsh repression of political opponents and support for thugs

“I will have to get a hearing aid if I am elected.” Ellen Soemerland, a 103-year-old political candidate, who is running for municipal council in her hometown of Osen, Norway

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the United States of arrogance and Germany doesn’t want to go war.” Anonymous message based on an old joke by Chris Rock currently making its way around the Internet

“Whether it’s the fiction of duct tape or fiction of Orange alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Any time you got the pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.” Filmmaker Michael Moore, accepting an Oscar for his documentary “Bowling for Columbine.” He received a mixture of loud boos and cheers from the audience.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Margaret Ardito”

President George W. Bush, in an address broadcast with Arabic subtitles on the state-run Iraqi television channel recently seized by the U.S. military

“In a religious environment the value system is set. That’s not the case in a public school, where there are so many different kids with different kinds of values.”

Education Secretary Rod Paige, expressing a preference for schools that appreciate “the values of the Christian community”

“So does that mean if you go into a black community, you cannot sell a gun to any black person?”

Rep. Barbara Cubin, on a measure that would have banned gun sales to anyone under drug treatment

“I don’t care if people don’t like me. I don’t like me.”

Rep. David Obey, after giving a fiery Democratic Caucus speech

“This is a PR guy who may give new meaning to knowing how to take a bullet for a client. Literally.”

Prism Public Affairs’ Dale Leibach, on Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

“Oh, Allah, sink their ships and down their planes. Oh, Allah, drown Bush and Blair as you drowned Pharaoh, and rescue us as you rescued Moses.”

Sheik Abd al-Razzak al-Saadi, preaching from the Mother of All Battles Mosque in Baghdad

“He told me that he was going to wash his hair and brush his teeth in Saddam’s private bathroom. The only thing I could say to him was ‘I hope you use your own toothbrush’.”

Gloria Presnell, on her son Mike, a lieutenant colonel who called her from one of Saddam Hussein’s palaces in Baghdad

“To be very blunt–and God watch over Paul’s soul–I am a 99 percent improvement over Paul Wellstone.”

Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman, referring to his predecessor, who was killed in a plane crash less than six months ago. He quickly apologized.

HONG KONG WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY. An ad, commissioned before the SARS outbreak, that the tourist board says it regrets

“I’m pleased to inform the court that Leonard John Fraser is not guilty of the murder of Natasha Anne Ryan. Natasha Ryan is alive.”

Australian prosecutor Paul Rutledge, after the 18-year-old supposed murder victim was found living with her 26-year-old boyfriend

“I doubt there’s anyone left at the palace that’s going to be bringing any receipts to authorities.”

EBay spokesman Kevin Pursglove, on the difficulty in proving that merchandise from Saddam’s palace–which may show up on eBay–was stolen

“She really bonded with a couple of kids.”

Mark Geragos, actress Winona Ryder’s lawyer, on her appearances at a cancer-treatment center as part of her now completed community service for shoplifting

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “Angela Dunaway”

“I would love to have had egg on my face.” Modesto, Calif., Police Chief Roy Wasden, wishing he’d found Laci Peterson alive after having declared the search for the missing pregnant woman a homicide investigation. Her husband, Scott, was arrested after her and her fetus’s remains were found last week.

“I hope they’re not in the parking lot stealing our hubcaps.” Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly, emceeing a Washington benefit for an inner-city schoolchildren charity, speculating on the tardiness of one of the acts–a group of sixth- to eighth-grade boys

“I know his character. The defense of Baghdad would not have collapsed so quickly if he was not dead.” Iraq’s ambassador to Belgrade, Sami Sadoun, on his belief that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein was killed in the Coalition bombing of Baghdad

“Viagra had nothing to do with it. The thinking was let’s wait a year and see if the Doles are exciting, although Bob Dole’s probably pretty exciting already.” Washington Life Editor in Chief Nancy Bagley, on why Bob and Elizabeth Dole were not included among the magazine’s picks as Washington’s social A-list couples

“A good Muslim woman would not let this man touch her, as a signal to everybody that this is not a way to behave.” Sheik Ali Jabouri, in Najaf, on whether forbidding Iraqi wives from having sex with husbands who have looted would be consistent with Islamic teachings

“We hunted them with rocks, as Stone Age as that sounds,” Cpl. Joshua Wicksell, on the gazelles he and his Marine squadron in Iraq have begun eating in place of their bland military rations

“[I won’t] prostitute my integrity in the interest of satisfying a certain political venue.” Arizona state board member Richard Pinkerton, resigning after he resisted a proposal to rename a prominent mountain, Squaw Peak, after Army Pfc. Lori Piestewa, an American-Indian servicewoman killed in Iraq

“There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!… I am not scared and neither should you be… They’re not even within 100 miles of Baghdad.” Quote from Herobuilders.com’s Iraqi “Dis-Information Minister” action figure, which uses statements made by Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who disappeared after the invasion of U.S. troops he had bizarrely denied

“You’re talking to a working actor. If they want an old man with sloppy speech, they have to come to me. I have a monopoly.” Veteran actor Kirk Douglas, when asked whether he has had trouble getting parts after suffering a stroke

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Fred Alger”

“Chirac has apologies to make… Whether he will is another question.” Frenchwoman Nicole Keene, on the difficult road to reconciliation that lies ahead for France and the United States after their split over the war in Iraq

“Free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on widespread looting and violence that has hit Baghdad since its liberation at the hands of Coalition forces

“This is a PR guy who may give new meaning to knowing how to take a bullet for a client. Literally.” Dale Leibach, a principal in Prism Public Affairs, on Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who disappeared from view after the fall of Baghdad

“Bush wanna kick me, I don’t know why, and if I call him, he does me goodbye… My days are finished and I will die–all I need is chili fries… Now I am sitting by myself… I am going to hell.” Lyrics from a rap song parodying Saddam Hussein that has been broadcast to Iraq over a radio station, believed to be based in Kuwait and backed by the CIA as part of its psychological-warfare campaign

“When I’m not working, put a pack of cigarettes and a pint of beer in front of me and I’m in good company. I’m the happiest little man in the world. Of course, I could smoke less and I’m sure I could drink less, but there’s girls back in Dublin who drink more in a night than I drink in a week.” Colin Farrell, Irish actor and the star of the movie “Phone Booth,” on his reputation for hard living

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Harold Cormier”

“If they want to export democracy through wars, we do not want it.” Thirty-seven-year-old Syrian worker Ali Rida, reacting in Damascus to the speech

“We want to remind this town that we have teeth and claws, and we will use them.” Lt. Col. Steven Russell, of the Fourth Infantry Division, after American troops blasted Iraqi homes and a warehouse suspected of being insurgent hideouts in retaliation for the shooting down of an Army Black Hawk helicopter outside Tikrit Friday

“We had said we would send [troops] if our contribution would be of use. We saw that this is not the situation.” Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul, on his country’s decision not to send peacekeeping troops to Iraq

“I did not shoot–not a round, nothing. I went down praying to my knees–that’s the last thing I remember.” Jessica Lynch, the Army supply clerk that the Pentagon initially said had kept fighting until her ammunition ran out. Lynch said medical reports indicated she was subsequently raped.

“It was a serious lapse that should not have occurred.” Yuval Shteinitz, chairman of Israel’s Foreign Affairs and Defense committee, on the government’s broadcasting a secret-weapons test on live TV by mistake

“They are cutting off people’s heads. Every time we hear of an incident it’s a new level of brutality.” Father John Fraser, who helps run a Roman Catholic Church-owned radio station in Lira, Uganda, near where rebels have massacred scores of people in apparent retaliation for the killing of a rebel commander

“It pained me to see what he did with my name.” Retired French couturier Yves Saint Laurent, after fashion designer Tom Ford announced he was quitting as creative director of Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche

“The moment I see a nice person I know, I will immediately kiss them–even if I don’t feel like it. I invite all other Moscovites to do the same.” Human-rights campaigner Valeriya Novodvorskaya, reacting with defiance to a proposed plan to ban public kissing in Moscow and fine offenders

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Mark Robson”

New Jersey Rep. Robert Andrews, on whether the new covert team set up to hunt down Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden will be successful

“He had intended to instruct the investigators to turn over the final results of that investigation to the attorney general; he will now reconsider that option.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger spokesman Rob Stutzman, on the California governor-elect’s hiring a private investigator to look into reports that he groped women

“[They are] annoying little guys who ran for class president in fifth grade and lost and ran again in eighth grade and lost again and now they’re policy wonks and all they want is power.”

Former California congressman Bob Dornan, on Washington politicians

“Can you believe it?… These things can create havoc.”

New York Rep. Edolphus Towns, on the fact that his scheduled reading of an anti-toy-gun report was delayed by a lockdown caused by a plastic pistol

“I killed so many women I have a hard time keeping them straight.”

Gary Ridgway, the former truck painter long suspected of being the Green River Killer, admitting in court to 48 murders

“Even just the thinking about that, that’s too painful.”

Former POW Jessica Lynch, on medical records, cited in her biography, that indicate she was raped by her Iraqi captors. Her Iraqi doctors deny the claim.

“It was a serious lapse that should not have occurred.”

Yuval Shteinitz, chairman of Israel’s Foreign Affairs & Defense Committee, on the government’s broadcasting a secret weapons test on live TV by mistake

“First thing, I took him home and dangled him over the balcony.”

CBS late-night host David Letterman, on his new son, Harry (and Michael Jackson’s infamous baby-dangling)

“Some of the programming just sucked.”

NBC president Jeff Zucker, on this fall’s lackluster season

“You know what happens to people who lie? They get sick and they get cancer. If they keep lying, they get it again.”

Former TV host and “queen of nice” Rosie O’Donnell, to breast-cancer survivor Cindy Spengler, a former Rosie magazine exec. The quote was recounted in court; O’Donnell did not deny it, telling reporters she called Spengler the next day to apologize.

“We were musicians first and we dabbled in drugs and then we became drug addicts dabbling in music.”

Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, on the band’s wilder days

“Maybe my head, just to freak people out… People would run screaming. But then, would it reduce my intellect in any way? Ah, it might still be worth it.”

Actor Will Ferrell, on what body part he might choose to miniaturize if he got the chance

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “Donna Tomlinson”

“She was part of an era I don’t want to remember. Taiwan was not a democracy then.” Taipei salesman Mark Hwang, on the death of 105-year-old Madame Chiang Kai-shek, wife of the nationalist leader whose party controlled Taiwan for five decades, from 1949 to 2000

“Wait, I think Sting is having his first piece of brie.” U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner, making fun of the celebrity scene on the Concorde as it made its final transatlantic voyage last Friday. Although the supersonic jet certainly was packed with superstars, Sting wasn’t actually on the flight.

“[Name deleted] is planning ‘an accident’ in my car, brake failure and serious head injury in order to make the path clear for Charles to marry.” Excerpt from a 1996 letter from Princess Diana to her butler Paul Burrell. The letter, quoted in Burrell’s forthcoming book, “A Royal Duty,” has reignited conspiracy theories about her death. The name was deleted for legal reasons.

“With a beer and some beetles and a few crickets, they’re actually quite good.” Actress Angelina Jolie, on eating Cambodian frogs

“There is nothing more impolite than this… It was as if he threw a bomb at me all of a sudden.” Japanese M.P. Yasuhiro Nakasone, 85, on being asked by Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi to stand down from next month’s elections. Koizumi is trying to buck tradition by backing younger candidates.

“I’m about a hundred feet away from them when I glance over and see lightning coming out of Caviezel’s ears.” “The Passion of Christ” producer Steve McEveety, on lightning striking Jim Caviezel, who plays Jesus in Mel Gibson’s new movie

“I honestly thought that it wasn’t worth going on. But I can tell you now after hitting the falls I feel that life is worth living.” Kirk Jones, who survived a fall over Niagara Falls last week after jumping in. Jones said depression made him take the leap.

“They would be happy fish.” Baylor University toxicologist Bryan Brooks, describing the probable state of mind of the freshwater blue gill fish in a Texas lake where he found fluoxetine, the active ingredient in Prozac. He speculated that it came from urine or flushed Prozac from a wastewater-treatment plant nearby.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Susan Dipietro”

San Diego County resident Jodi Hamilton, on the fire that raged through her community without warning, killing several of her neighbors

“The Blue Room isn’t exactly One If by Land, Two If by Sea, some romantic restaurant, but you know, heck, Ben’s here, and you take what you can get.”

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on actress Jennifer Lopez’s visit to city hall as the honorary chairwoman of a new commission to attract Latino entertainment and media to the city

“If we have to, we just mow the whole place down, see what happens.”

Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, on an alternative solution to keeping peace in Iraq

“When people turn to evil forces by way of a joke, when they praise them and flirt with them, it reflects on the fate of the person because it teaches him that evil is acceptable.”

Russian Orthodox Church spokesman Vsevolod Chaplin, on school administrators and church officials’ banning Halloween in Russia this year

“The past few years of conflict mean that yet another generation of Israelis and Palestinians will grow up in hatred. We cannot allow that to happen.”

Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, in a statement on embarking on a peace project to improve Israeli-Arab relations

“I’ve heard the term, but I don’t know what it means.”

Presidential hopeful Howard Dean, on proclaiming during his campaign that he’s a “metrosexual,” a word used to describe a straight man in touch with his feminine side

“According to the Muslim faith, a terrorist who touches a pig is not eligible for the 70 virgins in heaven.”

The Hebrew Battalion’s Kuti Ben-Yaakov, on getting rabbinical approval to train pigs to guard Jewish settlements in the West Bank

“Why don’t they want me?”

Elizabeth Smart, on wanting to play herself in a CBS movie about her kidnapping last year

“I would have rather listened to Saddam Hussein speak on civil rights than some of the people that have spoken on ethics to this point.”

Texas Tech coach Bob Knight, on a mandatory NCAA meeting for coaches to discuss issues facing their profession

“I don’t want to get on that ferry anymore.”

Staten Island, N.Y., resident Ivette Jones, on the emotional trauma she sustained as a passenger during the deadly ferry accident Oct. 15. She’s suing for $200 million.

“It’s astounding I’ve never won one. They tend not to give it to the British unless you’re Sting. The sun shines out of his arse–a pure jazz musician, Mr. Serious who helps the Indians.”

Singer Rod Stewart, on why he hasn’t won a Grammy

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Clarence Agustin”

Secretary of State Colin Powell, saying the United States is being tested politically as well as militarily in Iraq

“People need to realize breasts are for more than selling beer.”

Murray, Utah, resident Tristyn Underwood, on staging a “nurse-in” with 15 other nursing mothers at a Utah Burger King where an employee, a few days earlier, had asked a mother to stop breast-feeding her baby

“The battle is not over. The battle to acknowledge God is about to rage across the country.”

Ousted Alabama chief justice Roy Moore, after losing his job for refusing a federal court order to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the state judicial building

“I think he’s putting his private practice above jury service, and he’s going to remain in this trial.”

Acting Fulton County, Ga., Superior Court Judge Henry Newkirk, dismissing a juror trying to get out of jury duty, but ordering him to stay and watch the trial as a spectator

“It’s just a miracle.”

Peachtree Corners, Ga., resident Kristin Connor, on her 2-year-old son’s deadly tumor, which vanished on the eve of surgery, surprising doctors

“It came as a shock. It contained a draft of his speech to conference and it asked for any feedback. So I sent one back saying, ‘It’s very good, just go ahead with it’.”

Barrow, England, hairdresser Ronnie Campbell, on getting e-mails from British Prime Minister Tony Blair, intended for Member of Parliament Ronnie Campbell

“I briefly used the Ph.D. designation, not to mislead, but because I thought I had earned it.”

Massachusetts infectious-disease-lab chief Ralph Timperi, in an e-mail to colleagues, on claiming a Ph.D. that came from an online university which grants diplomas for $499

“At the end of the day, at least they will have peace of heart and peace of mind.”

Dennis Russell, an Australian descendant of a Christian missionary eaten by cannibals 136 years ago, on traveling to Fiji to receive a formal apology. Fijians said the apology may lift a curse on the village where the missionary was killed.

“People were uglier then, but they made better music.”

Singer Kid Rock, on the 1970s

“In my eyes, both Adolf Hitler and my grandfather were false prophets of the 20th century.”

Sophie Freud, retired Simmons College professor of psychology, on her grandfather Sigmund Freud

“I’m not technically saying he’s wrong. But I’m not technically saying he’s right, either.”

Pop star Britney Spears, on former boyfriend Justin Timberlake’s hinting that she had been unfaithful to him

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Anthony Hernandez”

U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, on being asked by a reporter whether he has lost his “mojo”

“It’s… like asking whether a venomous snake will bite or not.”

North Korean defector Hwang Jang Yop, on whether Kim Jong Il will ever give up his nuclear program

“This is a work in progress.”

IAEA director-general Mohamed ElBaradei, on whether Iran has complied with his demand to prove it has no nuclear-weapons program by Oct. 31. The U.S. government believes Iran has not fully complied.

“It never crossed my mind [that] Abdullah will become prime minister. Everything is up to God. We should not be carried away by positions.”

Kailan Hassan, mother of new Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, who last week assumed power from Mahathir Mohamad

“Very soon we could celebrate in Latin America another Vietnam for the United States.”

Bolivian opposition leader Evo Morales, on what could happen if Latin American opponents of U.S. free-trade policies joined forces

“You cannot associate with evil forces in jest.”

Russian Orthodox Church spokesman Vsevolod Chaplin, on school administrators and church officials’ banning Halloween in Russia this year

“Tell me it doesn’t end here, that you don’t want to throw away our strange love like this/Tell me you’ll come back to me with no bitter words.”

Lyrics written by Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, from his new CD of Neapolitan love songs, “Meglio una Canzone,” a collaboration with singer Mariano Apicella

“According to the Muslim faith, a terrorist who touches a pig is not eligible for the 70 virgins in heaven.”

Kuti Ben-Yaakov, of the Hebrew Battalion, a group that supplies dogs to protect Jewish settlements in the West Bank, on getting rabbinical approval to train pigs to do the job as well

“They tend not to give it to the British unless you’re Sting. The sun shines out of his a–e –pure jazz musician, Mr. Serious who helps the Indians.”

Singer Rod Stewart, on why he hasn’t won a Grammy

“The past few years of conflict mean that yet another generation of Israelis and Palestinians will grow up in hatred. We cannot allow that to happen.”

Hollywood couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, issuing a statement explaining their proposed peace project to improve Israeli-Arab relations

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Deanna Mcjunkins”

“It is the central focus of my life.” George Soros, on defeating U.S. President George W. Bush in the next presidential election–a cause to which he has donated $15.5 million to date

“This is good for everyone.” Iraqi Governing Council member Ahmed Chalabi, on the new U.S. plan to hand over power to an Iraqi transitional government by next June

“If nothing happens and we go on living by the sword, we will continue to wallow in the mud and destroy ourselves.” Yaakov Peri, one of four former Israeli Security Service chiefs who blasted the Sharon government’s policies. They called for Israel to unilaterally withdraw from the Gaza Strip and to dismantle settlements.

“The communists needed power for power’s sake and the oligarchs need power for the sake of money. They have found each other.” Russian minister Boris Gryzlov, slamming oligarchs for trying to “destroy” the state by funding the Communist Party

“The time of forgiveness is before us.” Svetozar Marovic, president of Serbia and Montenegro, after apologizing to Bosnians for the “evil or disaster” his country caused during the 1992-95 war

“My Geordie is probably just about as bad as my English.” President George W. Bush, to a reporter who asked if he would understand locals when he visits northeastern England, where they speak with a Geordie accent

“We expect our police officers to be insulted, their masculinity to be challenged, their ethnicity to be challenged, their parentage to be challenged, and they must take it.” Miami Police Chief John Timoney, on the planned protests at this week’s Free Trade Area of the Americas meeting

“He’s asked for chicken heads, a bamboo pole and a boat.” A Hong Kong government spokeswoman, on an Australian hunter invited to the city to catch a crocodile that has eluded local officials

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Frank Schultz”

“I’m about a hundred feet away from them when I glance over and see lightning coming out of Caviezel’s ears.” “The Passion of the Christ” producer Steve McEveety, on lightning that struck James Caviezel, who plays Jesus in Mel Gibson’s new movie. The film’s assistant director was also hit by lightning on two occasions while making the movie.

“Perhaps some of you have seen the TV program ‘CSI’ and you see the magic that they work. Let me tell you, our guys are better.” Prosecuting attorney James A. Willett, in his opening statement at the trial of accused D.C. sniper John Allen Muhammad

“With a beer and some beetles and a few crickets, they’re actually quite good.” Actress Angelina Jolie, on eating Cambodian frogs

“When you ask if this is what should have been done, you have to look at what’s good for San Francisco.” San Francisco Supervisor Chris Daly, on using his power as acting mayor for the day to appoint two people to the powerful Public Utilities Commission while the mayor was traveling in Tibet

“Each episode will be three minutes.” “Sex and the City” actress Cynthia Nixon, on the HBO series once it is edited for syndication

“How can Congress give itself a $3,400 pay raise while nearly 9 million people are unemployed?” Wisconsin Sen. Russ Feingold, on opposing the Senate’s self-approved pay raise. Feingold has a policy of returning to the Treasury any pay he receives that’s above his salary when he began his six-year term.

“We understand the frustration you feel. In fact, everyone at the Falcons organization shares it… We know our team is capable of playing better.” Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank, in a full-page ad he took out in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution to apologize for the team’s dismal season

“Biting between young children is not uncommon, but I have never seen anything like this.” Sime Vuckov, head of pediatrics at a Rijeka, Croatia, hospital, on a 1-year-old patient who was attacked by 14 babies in day care. The children bit him more than 30 times after a nanny briefly stepped outside the playroom.

“[This will make] a lot of people unhappy, but it will make a lot fewer people unhappy.” MPAA president Jack Valenti, on partially lifting the controversial screener ban, allowing studios to send encoded videos to Oscar voters under strict guidelines

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Mandy Drake”

Pop icon Michael Jackson, in a statement, after being booked on charges of child molestation

“For the World Trade Center observation deck, press 1. Enjoy a spectacular view from the observation deck from the 107th floor and the outdoor promenade on the 11th floor of 2 World Trade Center. Hours are 9:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily.”

Message on the Port Authority’s official information line, changed just last week at the urging of the Coalition of 9/11 Families

“I couldn’t tell if I was at a revival or a World Wrestling event. It was a great night.”

New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, pronouncing herself “thrilled” with the reception she got as the keynote speaker before some 7,500 Iowa Democrats

“If they win, I will be on cloud nine for a few months that I’m incarcerated.”

Jeff Renne, who agreed to plead guilty on a forgery charge so long as he could stay in the Franklin County, Ohio, jail through the weekend to watch the Ohio State-Michigan game

“The truth is now back on the airwaves; equal time is back in America.”

Rush Limbaugh, opening his radio show after returning from prescription-drug rehabilitation

“[If that happens], the Western world, the free world, loses what it cherishes most, and that is [the] freedom and liberty we’ve seen for a couple of hundred years in this grand experiment that we call democracy.”

Gen. Tommy Franks, on his belief that if the United States is hit with a weapon of mass destruction that inflicts large casualties, the Constitution would likely be discarded for a military form of government

“If I were a guy and I’d heard all those things about a girl, I don’t know that I’d want to take her out.”

Monica Lewinsky, on why she thinks men are intimidated by her Clinton sex-scandal past

“I thought I was losing my mind.”

Philadelphia native Judi Roberts, on being diagnosed with an extremely rare disorder called “foreign-accent syndrome” after a stroke left her with a British accent

“I actually think Bush is the greatest threat to life on this planet.”

London Mayor Ken Livingstone, saying he refuses to recognize George W. Bush as the lawful president of the United States

“In Louisiana, we have a problem with Southern drawl and what I call lazy mouth.”

Capt. John Dunn, who oversees Shreveport, La., police communications, on Southern accents’ thwarting the department’s voice-recognition equipment

“It is very popular in the United States and has won many Emmy prizes.”

CCTV-8 chief executive Wang Guohui, on the merits of the Chinese station’s dubbing “Friends,” calling it “Old Friends’ Story”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-12” author: “Joel Loughlin”

“Does anybody know where H-236 is? I’d like to know where it is before I vote for it.” House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee Chairman Don Young, before voting to name a room in the Capitol after former House majority leader Dick Armey

“How can they roast toast?” Former Senate majority leader ?Trent Lott, joking about his reduced job status at a recent dinner where he was the roastee

“We understand that there can be long periods of downtime in the White House, but sleeping is not acceptable.” NBC assignment manager Dave Forman, in an e-mail to his crews at the White House, on reports that senior White House officials were upset because some crews were sneaking naps in the briefing room

“I was confronted by two security guards and ordered to either take off the T shirt or leave the mall.” Stephen Downs, who was arrested and charged with trespassing at a New York mall for wearing a T shirt that said PEACE ON EARTH and GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

“I would like to say I did. I don’t believe we do. But I do have a miniature dachshund named Reggie, who looks out for us.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on whether he has duct tape, plastic sheeting and a three-day supply of bottled water at home

“We’re too old for ‘Survivor’ and ‘Star Search’.” Former president Bill Clinton, on why he and former Senate majority leader Bob Dole have signed on to debate national issues in a series of segments for CBS’s “60 Minutes”

“We kept seeing a lot of the same people. It was almost a promotional thing for them. It wasn’t a deterrent at all.” Oklahoma City spokeswoman Marsha Ingersoll, on the cancellation of “Shame TV,” a city-run program that tried to stop prostitution by airing pictures of prostitutes and their customers

“You people are some of the most disgusting examples of a waste of protoplasm I’ve ever had the displeasure to hear about.” Country singer Charlie Daniels, in an open letter to Hollywood celebrities opposed to war with Iraq

“I gained the world. I have so much more love in my life right now–love that I give and love that I receive. It’s amazing. I sound like a walking ad for fatherhood, but it’s a pretty cool thing.” Actor Bruce Willis, on being a father

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-07” author: “Lisa Mcnamara”

“I would like to say I did. I don’t believe we do. But I do have a miniature dachshund named Reggie who looks out for us.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on whether he has duct tape, plastic sheeting and a three-day supply of bottled water at home

“I was confronted by two security guards and ordered to either take off the T shirt or leave the mall.” Stephen Downs, who was arrested and charged with trespassing at a New York mall for wearing a T shirt that said PEACE ON EARTH and GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

“He was crying, sweating, hugging us and saying, ‘Thank you, you saved my life!’ " Florida resident Mary Welcher, on helping the “choking man,” who police say pretends to choke to attract women

“Man, it was bad. These girls saw us and were kind of flirting, and they kept asking us if we were American. Finally we said, ‘Yes,’ and they just took off.” Actor Vince Vaughn, on one of the several displays of anti-Americanism he has encountered while shooting a movie in London

“No doubt, he does have an allergy, but there is no condition causing you to cough after someone has given the right answer to a question.” Prosecutor Nicholas Hilliard, on Tecwen Whittock, a college lecturer, who is accused of aiding a contestant on the British version of the TV game show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” Whittock, who coughed 19 times during the show, claimed to have had an allergy.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-05” author: “James Gilbert”

“France is like an aging actress of the 1940s. She’s still dining out on her looks, but doesn’t have the face for it.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, on France’s opposition to the use of force in Iraq

“Remember, this is the state where pigs have constitutional protection.” High-school sophomore Miranda Rosenberg, on why she’s optimistic about her petition to lower the voting age to 16 in Florida

“He got his life together and is putting it on the line for his country.” CBS News anchor Dan Rather, on his chance encounter in Kuwait with a pilot who had tried to steal his car 12 years ago in Texas

“I’m gonna guess it was political science, but I’m not sure, it might have been history. I’ll check. I hadn’t thought of that one.” Presidential hopeful Carol Moseley Braun, when asked what she majored in during college

“Every step of the way we’ve been open and honest about her condition and our responsibility for the error.” Dr. William Fulkerson, head of Duke University Hospital, on Jesica Santillan, who underwent a second heart-lung transplant after doctors gave her the wrong organs for her blood type. She later died.

“Help me. There’s a fire on the subway. The door is locked.” A cry for help by telephone from a woman trapped in a subway car in Taegu, South Korea, where more than 120 people died from an arson attack. The woman called her husband after a person set fire to flammable liquid in a milk carton and tossed it into a subway car.

“I think what is starting to jump out is that nothing is starting to jump out.” Harold Gehman Jr., the former Navy admiral leading the Columbia Accident Investigation Board, on its current bafflement

“When a young, presumably very healthy, young man becomes so ill that ultimately he dies, it’s a tragedy that defies definition.” Baltimore Orioles owner Peter Angelos, calling on Major League Baseball to ban ephedrine, a stimulant that may have contributed to the death of pitcher Steve Bechler

“[It was a] mistaken belief that if 10,000 did so it would be recognized as an official religion.” A U.K. statistical spokesman, on more than 390,000 people’s listing their religion as “Jedi” on their 2001 Census forms

“I see smiles and laughter, I see babies and grandbabies, I see comfort and safety. I see me in a white dress and I see it with you.” “The Bachelorette” Trista Rehn, when choosing poetic firefighter Ryan Sutter in the show’s finale. Sutter promptly proposed to Rehn, whom he’d known for six weeks.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “Jean Laney”

“One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purpose are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown.” Ohio Rep. Marcy Kaptur, comparing bin Laden to the American founding fathers. She has since apologized for the remark.

“I have worked for communist regimes, capitalists, for a sultanate and now for a dictator. But it’s only ever about one thing–getting the ball in the net.” Bernd Stange, the German football coach of the Iraqi national team, on his long and strange career that has included being a Stasi informant for the East German secret police. Stange has left Iraq over fears of an upcoming war.

“Just so you know, we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.” Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Texas country band the Dixie Chicks, speaking to a London audience at a recent concert. Some American fans are calling for a boycott of the group’s music because of her remark.

“[They should] just keep their mouths shut.” Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher, on the British obsession with weather, sports and other nations, branding his fellow countrymen “a nation of moaning sissies”

“Because of love… that’s why we’re arresting you.” Name of a Thai safety campaign that calls on motorcyclists to wear helmets or be arrested

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “James Grant”

“It was a little like opening the hood of your car to change the spark plugs and doing a full tune up.” Florida Sen. Bob Graham, making light of the fact that his recent heart surgery was more extensive that he initially admitted

“Even as we have achieved so much, Ohio and the General Assembly have also made mistakes. We can’t let Ohio continue to have this embarrassing distinction.” Cincinnati Sen. Mark Mallory, on the Ohio Senate’s voting unanimously to ratify the 14th Amendment. Ohio was the only state that did not ratify it 135 years ago.

“Critics are like eunuchs. They know how to, but they can’t. Bravo, GaultMillau–you’ve won! Your ranking has cost the life of a man!” French chef Paul Bocuse, on chef Bernard Loiseau, who is believed to have killed himself after his restaurant was downgraded in GaultMillau, a top food guide

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, clarifying U.S. policy on the war on terror at a Pentagon briefing

“Damn Americans. Hate those bastards.” Carolyn Parrish, the Liberal Party M.P. for Mississauga Centre, Ontario, after addressing possible U.S. military action against Iraq at a caucus meeting. She later apologized.

“Greetings from Cornell, your future alma mater! Congratulations on your acceptance into the class of 2007!” Excerpt from a Cornell University e-mail that was mistakenly sent to hundreds of students it had previously rejected

“If an extinction-type impact is inevitable, then ignorance for the populace is bliss.” Doctoral fellow Geoffrey Sommer, recommending to the American Association for the Advancement of Science that the public should not be informed in the event of a killer asteroid

“As of this writing, 15 men in the history of organized baseball have ever thrown a perfect game. Only one of those men did it half-drunk, with bloodshot eyes, monster breath and a raging, skull-rattling hangover. That would be me.” New York Yankees pitcher David Wells, confessing in his upcoming autobiography to being “half-drunk” when he pitched a perfect game in 1998

“It was the ultimate reality moment.” ABC executive Andrea Wong, on a camera crew’s following Roseanne as she shopped at the Barney’s New York store in Beverly Hills, Calif., and running into another camera crew shooting Ozzy Osbourne shopping as well. Both taped the encounter.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-10” author: “Colby Powers”

“This is just to send a message to the troops to say that here in the Capitol, we are not happy.” Ohio Rep. Bob Ney, on ordering the replacement of the word “French” with “freedom” on all House menu items, hence “freedom fries” and “freedom toast”

“It is virtually impossible to find even a single image or article from the plaintiff’s magazine that would not be jarringly out of place in O, The Oprah Magazine, and vice versa.” New York federal Judge John G. Koeltl, on tossing out the claims of the publisher of a German erotic magazine, O Magazine, who accused Oprah Winfrey of jeopardizing his publication by launching one with a similar name

THE COW IS OUR MOTHER, ATAL EATS HER. Banners held by political opponents of India’s prime minister. Cows are sacred to India’s 900 million Hindus, and charges of beef-eating are a declaration of political war.

“One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purpose are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cast off the British crown.” Ohio Rep. Marcy Kaptur, comparing bin Laden to the Founding Fathers. She has since apologized for the remark.

“I can tell you that for about 20 minutes of my captivity, they played by the Geneva Convention… The rest of the time, they did not.” Col. Cliff Acree, on being captured after his aircraft was shot down over Kuwait during the last war with Iraq

“Right here, Mr. President, is where your tax cut is stuck. The Republicans can’t quite swallow it, and the Democrats can’t cough it up.” Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, pointing to the esophagus on a medical chart

“My relationship to sheep is a bit ambivalent now. I like them, but not when they come flying through the air.” Music fan Per Kristian Hagen, whose skull was fractured at a death-metal concert in Oslo when he was struck by a flying sheep’s head the band was carving up as a part of its act

“It’s about time they let us in.” Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, on an upcoming tour of China. The Chinese Ministry of Culture allowed them to tour as long as they don’t play “Brown Sugar,” “Honky Tonk Women,” “Beast of Burden” or “Let’s Spend the Night Together.”

“Bryan Adams was always her biggest hero, and she loved his music before she fell into a coma… When we heard about the concert in Regensburg, we knew straight away that we had to take her there.” Adelheide Kittel, whose daughter Christiane emerged from a six-year coma at a Bryan Adams concert in Germany

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-28” author: “Eliana Johnson”

“France is like an aging actress of the 1940s. She’s still dining out on her looks, but doesn’t have the face for it.” Arizona Sen. John McCain, on France’s opposition to the use of force in Iraq

“We call on the people of Kelle to be calm. It is the Ebola virus which is raging in the area. It is not an evil spell; it is a scientifically proven virus.” Congolese official Dieudonne Hossie, on the deaths of four teachers who were stoned and beaten by local villagers. The villagers accused the teachers of starting a recent outbreak of the Ebola virus by using black magic.

“I will be leaving Iraq in two days. So I personally think I will be all right.” Spanish university professor Ignacio Canores, after spending the night as a “human shield” with 17 other foreigners at a Baghdad water-purification plant

“She doesn’t really eat that much. She has a couple of fish in the morning and about 200 grams of meat in the evening.” Russian pet owner Tamara Yapugova, on Katy, a 23-kilogram (50-pound) Siamese cat. “The Guinness Book of World Records” lists a cat from Minnesota weighing in at 18.5 kilograms as the fattest cat in the world.

“Help me. There’s a fire on the subway. The door is locked.” A cry for help by mobile telephone from a woman trapped in a subway car in Taegu, South Korea, where more than 120 people died in an arson attack. The woman called her husband after a man set fire to flammable liquid in a milk carton and tossed it into a subway car.

“I have HIV; why not make some use of it?” Famed South African playwright Gibson Kente, announcing he was HIV-positive in an effort to combat the social stigma surrounding AIDS

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Leroy Green”

“We just decided to act in a peaceful way, following a one and only aim: Peace around the world.” A French Web site, bretzelforbush.com, which advocates sending pretzels to President Bush, who fainted and fell off a sofa in January 2002 after gagging on the snack

“I might wish it were otherwise, but that was one of the criteria that he had for acceptance.” James Foster, executive director of Cleveland’s City Club, on Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s banning broadcast media from an appearance at which he received an award for supporting free speech

“My dad passed away the year before and I didn’t have anybody really around, so I really latched onto him when I was a kid.” Optimus Prime, a member of Ohio’s 5694th National Guard Unit, on why he legally changed his name to that of the leader of the Autobots Transformers

“At dawn prayers… the criminal, reckless little Bush and his aides committed this crime which he was threatening to commit against Iraq and humanity.” Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, vowing to his people that he would overthrow President Bush

“His days are numbered.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, on Saddam Hussein

“I know what I’ll be using as a pillow tonight.” Staff Sgt. Bryce Ivings, referring to his chemical and biological protective gear. That day Iraqi missiles streaked across the border into Kuwait, forcing the American soldiers to pull on their protective uniforms.

“It was an honest mistake.” CBS News Washington bureau chief Janet Leissner, on the BBC’s accidentally broadcasting 1 minute 37 seconds of presidential primping that came from pool coverage right before Bush’s speech Thursday night

“The Only Thing French About French’s Mustard Is The Name!” The headline of a press release from mustard maker R.T. French, assuring its customers of the product’s American origins

“I am advising the former president, the governor of Florida and the president of the United States–I guess you could say I rule the world.” Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on her personal political power

“The last thing Ted needs these days is a licking from me.” Media mogul Rupert Murdoch, responding to a challenge to a fistfight from AOL Time Warner’s Ted Turner

“War does not excuse Madonna’s performance.” John Wilson of the Golden Raspberry Awards, which honors the worst achievements in film. Madonna won worst actress and worst screen couple (with Adriano Giannini) for “Swept Away” and worst supporting actress for “Die Another Day.”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Victoria Campana”

Allan Sjodin, vowing to keep up the search for his daughter, Dru, a University of North Dakota student kidnapped last month from a mall parking lot “It’s all gone at this point.” John Gallagher, of the biotech company Chiron, on its running out of flu shots (as has Aventis Pasteur, the only other company that makes the vaccine for the United States)

“I don’t want to step out onstage with someone wearing a coronet and sporting the old ermine.”

Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards, on Mick Jagger’s decision to accept knighthood

“For me it’s a question of values, it’s not a question of science.”

California Fish and Game Commissioner Sam Schuchat, on state regulators’ refusing to allow sales of the first bioengineered household pet, a fluorescent zebra fish called the Glofish

“I can confirm she is alive.”

Al Narciso, an acquaintance of dancer and actress Katherine Sergava’s, on The New York Times’s erroneously running an obituary for the 94-year-old

“Sept. 11 we will ensure will look like a picnic to you… Welcome to the new war. You are not safe anywhere at anytime.”

Caption from a sketch of the White House in the cross hairs of a rifle scope. The drawing was found in suspected sniper Lee Boyd Malvo’s prison cell among hundreds of other pictures and notes.

“I have been hearing from a lot of people. I’m amazed by it all.”

Twice-divorced Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich, on being flooded with messages from women wanting to meet him after he described his ideal First Lady in a New Hampshire forum

“He is guilty of falling in love.”

Richard Alvoid, attorney for Sgt. Sean Blackwell, an American soldier who will be discharged for taking a break from a foot patrol in Baghdad to marry an Iraqi woman. The Army has not allowed Blackwell to see his bride since the wedding.

“I’m sure executives at the other networks are hearing pitches from producers saying, ‘I can get Cher into a nunnery’.”

A Fox executive, on “The Simple Life,” which puts socialites Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie on a farm in Arkansas

“They were raising Cain.”

Goldsboro, N.C., Sheriff Carey Winders, on customers’ reactions after a judge sent deputies to round up prospective jurors at Wal-Mart after failing to find enough for a murder trial

“Some elks get very calm, but others very aggressive… just like humans.”

Kristiansand, Norway, resident Paul Stamberg, on authorities’ warning residents of fermented-berry-intoxicated elks after a woman was attacked in Sweden

“I like to look. They have beautiful bodies.”

Newswoman Barbara Walters, on her reaction around naked women in hot tubs

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Susan Sayco”

U.S. President George W. Bush, after walking into a mess hall to join American troops for Thanksgiving in Baghdad, in a surprise visit

“The way he made the trip shows he’s afraid of Iraqis. He should be; we’re a fierce people.”

Mohammed Kamel, a former Iraqi soldier who now drives a taxi, on Bush’s visit

“The barrier’s construction in the West Bank cannot… be seen as anything but a deeply counterproductive act.”

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, on the wall that Israel is erecting that it says is essential to prevent terror attacks. Critics charge that the wall is an attempt to grab land before any settlement.

“We have to go back to the drawing board.”

Ian Paisley, leader of the Protestant Democratic Unionist Party, expressing his strong opposition to the 1998 Good Friday peace agreement, which calls for power-sharing in Northern Ireland’s Assembly. The DUP emerged as the largest party in the legislature after vote-counting was completed last week.

“Dogs wag their tails when they are happy, but… cats swish their tails when they are ready to fight.”

South Korean President Roh Moo Hyun, comparing his political showdown with an opposition leader to a dog and cat that fight because they misread the other’s body language

“I had goose bumps coming up when I saw it.”

Su Chi, an adviser to Taiwan’s Nationalist Party, on a Chinese statement referring to Taiwan as a shen sheng, or sacred, part of China. The use of the term is viewed in Taiwan as a signal of great anger in Beijing.

“I can say, ‘Donde Gucci?’ That means, ‘Where is Gucci?’ "

Victoria Beckham, wife of British soccer star David Beckham, on learning the local language after his transfer to the Spanish team Real Madrid

“He’d filled his trousers in the truest sense of the word.”

A police spokesman in Olpe, Germany, on a boy who tried to shoplift 177 packs of cigarettes

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Christina Sanchez”

British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on failed negotiations for an EU constitution that pitted France and Germany against smaller states like Spain and Poland

“Bush’s bowing to Chinese pressure and trying to deny the Taiwanese people this right of democratic practice is a disgrace to all the democratic countries of the world.”

Taiwanese independence activist Peter Wang, responding to U.S. opposition to a plan by Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian to hold a referendum calling on China to remove its missiles aimed at Taiwan

“What they used to do with lacrosse when the aboriginal people would play it, they would literally play for days until somebody died. Jean Chretien was always the last one left standing.”

Canadian Heritage Minister Sheila Copps, on the prime minister who stepped down last week after 10 years in office. He was replaced by Paul Martin.

“Bodies of [Hamas] commandos will continue to shake and blow up in the depth of the Zionist entity.”

Hamas leader Abdel Aziz Rantisi, vowing that suicide attacks would continue, despite Palestinian Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei’s stated desire last week to resume peace talks with Israel

“Reagan on a personal basis is terrible. He just isn’t pleasant to be around.”

Richard Nixon, in newly released White House tapes, on fellow Republican Ronald Reagan

“That’s how Google works… We got the volume in a few weeks.”

Takebackthemedia.com’s Don Waller, on bloggers’ typing the U.S. president’s name in the same sentence as “miserable failure” on Google enough times that anyone who later typed “miserable failure” in the search engine was taken to George Bush’s White House bio

“If I could tar and feather him and handcuff him to a lamp-post in Piccadilly, I would do it this instant.”

Sharon Osbourne, referring to “Pop Idol” judge Simon Cowell, who remarked that rocker Ozzy Osbourne, who nearly died in an all-terrain-vehicle accident, may have fallen on purpose to help his record sales. Cowell later apologized.

“Germans walk around looking as if they have too much gastric acid.”

German President Johannes Rau, criticizing his countrymen for often looking too “broody” and being too self-pitying

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “George Bowers”

Former vice president Al Gore, endorsing presidential candidate Howard Dean

“Since one third of the school is ill, the superintendent closed the school.”

Recording on Bacon Academy’s answering machine after 300 of the 878 Colchester, Conn., students called in sick with the flu

“That’s how Google works… We got the volume in a few weeks.”

Takebackthemedia.com’s Don Waller, on bloggers’ typing the president’s name in the same sentence as “miserable failure” on Google enough times that anyone who typed “miserable failure” in the search engine thereafter was taken to George W. Bush’s White House bio

“I don’t think I’m going to be recognized as I go down the street.”

Michigan State University grad Michael Shafer, on discovering the largest known prime number, which is 6,320,430 digits long

“Fraudulent spam is not going to be tolerated.”

Virginia attorney general spokeswoman Carrie Cantrell, on the state’s charging one of the world’s most notorious spam kingpins with sending fraudulent bulk e-mail, one of the first such felony charges in the nation

“No.” Sen. Hillary Clinton, on whether she agreed with Gore’s statement about the party her husband once led

“If there’s an overcharge, like we think there is, we expect that money be repaid.”

President George W. Bush, on a Pentagon audit finding that Halliburton, Vice President Dick Cheney’s former company, potentially overcharged up to $61 million for gasoline delivered as part of its no-bid contract to help rebuild Iraq’s oil industry

“I asked mother to mother.”

Linda Walker, mother of missing University of North Dakota student Dru Sjodin, on calling the mother of the man charged in her daughter’s kidnapping to ask for her help. She didn’t get any.

“Reagan on a personal basis is terrible. He just isn’t pleasant to be around.”

Richard Nixon, in newly released White House tapes, on fellow Californian and Republican Ronald Reagan

“On the surface there’s the giggle. I would just encourage people to look more deeply into this, and the giggles go away, unless it’s just a giggle of pure happiness at the beauty of this.”

Director David Lynch, on joining a project to raise $1 billion for a foundation to supply meditation instructors to ease the planet’s stress

“It is now legal in Massachusetts and Matt and I have set a date of New Year’s Day in Provincetown. Be there!”

Actor Ben Affleck, joking that he planned to wed actor pal Matt Damon when asked by reporters if he was going to marry his “sweetheart”

“I had never committed adultery, but I knew it was going to happen… You can only watch it so long before you want to participate and I had gotten to that point.”

Clay Crosse, a prominent figure in the Christian music industry, on overcoming an addiction to pornography

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Stanley Hickson”

“I appear in front of you to formally express our absolute indignation at the offense that we, the Spanish delegation, have been made subject to.” Spanish Secretary of State for Sport Juan Antonio Gomez-Angulo, on Australian tennis officials’ mistakenly playing a pre-Civil War Republican Spanish national anthem to begin the 2003 Davis Cup Final

“I actually thought about bringing the New York Giants’ cheerleaders.” New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, to U.S. troops in Kosovo. The team doesn’t have cheerleaders.

“In the paddy wagon we could hear the police officers arguing about what they were going to charge us with.” Miami New Times reporter Celesete Fraser Delgado, on being arrested while interviewing protesters outside a Free Trade Area of the Americas meeting. The charges were later dropped for lack of evidence.

“His voting pattern and his political rhetoric are counter to his own professed religious beliefs.” Brooklyn, N.Y., resident Joseph Lieberman, on Sen. Joseph Lieberman, the subject of his book, “Joseph Lieberman Is a Pious Liberal and Other Observations.” He wrote the book with his wife, Hadassah, who shares the senator’s wife’s name.

“I understand countries’ taking strict security procedures. Having said that, it’s most unusual to stop a head of government.” New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark, on being frisked in an Australian airport

“If I was on ‘Baywatch,’ this would be a real problem.” “NYPD Blue” actress Charlotte Ross, on her pregnancy

“If they’re going to inconvenience me… then they are going to be inconvenienced for processing my payment.” Bellevue, Wash., resident Tammy Sully, on paying a $36 parking ticket in pennies. The box set off a bomb scare that led to the evacuation of 50 city employees.

“I’m full, but I could eat more.” Sonya Thomas, a 106-pound Alexandria, Va., resident, on eating 7.75 pounds of holiday food in 12 minutes, defeating a pair of 400-pound rivals in a Thanksgiving eating contest

“They can die from attacks by predators, specific diseases or being harvested by fishermen, but even then they show few signs of age.” Oregon State University marine biologist Thomas Ebert, labeling the red sea urchin “practically immortal” after scientists discovered they can live more than 200 years, not the 10 to 15 years they’d previously supposed

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-04” author: “Carlton Neubauer”

Russian Interior Minister Boris V. Gryzlov, on punishing those responsible for a suicide bombing on a Russian train near Chechnya that killed at least 42

“We want the world to know that Bush, the biggest criminal of all, and Blair, that monkey of the desert, will not be able to control the Iraqis.”

An Iraqi man who identified himself as a former soldier and now a mujahedin, to a Western reporter in Hawija

“In 1962, the U.S. faced the 13 alarming days of the Cuban missile crisis. With 496 ballistic missiles aimed at the 23 million people of Taiwan, every day for us is alarming.”

Taiwan’s President Chen Shui-bian, on missiles aimed at his country from mainland China. He cited the need to bring attention to this threat as a reason for a proposed “defensive” referendum next March, which could demand that China withdraw the missiles.

“What can we do if officials do not meet, if governments do not negotiate? We can’t wait and watch as the future of our two nations slides deeper into catastrophe.”

Former Palestinian Information minister Yasir Abed Rabbo, responding to criticism of a symbolic Israeli-Palestinian peace accord negotiated by him and former Israeli Justice minister Yossi Beilin

“What is it to us? It is a club. There are other clubs we can join.”

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe, on the 54-member Commonwealth of Britain and its former colonies, which convened Friday. Zimbabwe has been suspended from the Commonwealth since 2002.

“With every piece of flesh I ate I remembered him… It was like taking communion.”

Self-confessed German cannibal Armin Meiwes, on eating 44 pounds of human flesh

“I don’t want to step out onstage with someone wearing a coronet and sporting the old ermine.”

Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, on Mick Jagger’s decision to accept knighthood

“She picks up a Bugatti’s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen’s steady trot. Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she’s eating up the road with all cylinders blazing.”

Passage from Aniruddha Bahal’s novel “Bunker 13,” which won Britain’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award for the most inept description of sexual intercourse in a novel

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Lucille Neese”

“The enemy is here, inside.” Dmitry Rogozin, the vice speaker of the Russian Parliament, indirectly blaming Chechen separatists for Friday’s bomb blast on a Moscow train in which at least 39 people were killed

“What we are saying to the Americans is it’s been proved that the standard of your intelligence is crap and the whole world knows that now.” A spokesperson for the British Air Line Pilots Association, after a number of flights out of London were canceled on fears that terrorists were planning attacks on U.S. targets. European pilots have been infuriated by the recent flight disruptions.

“Back in my hometown in Henan province, the pronunciation of ‘Bushi’ sounds exactly like ’not wet’.” A Beijing businessman, who has applied to use the Chinese name of President Bush to market diapers

“We’re trying very hard to go back to what are typical American exports, that is hope and optimism, rather than the fear and anger that we were portraying to the international community after 9/11.” Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, in an interview to the Japanese newspaper Asahi Shimbun

“Saw the first half, did not see the halftime–I was preparing for the day and fell asleep. But you all can tell me about it.” U.S. President George W. Bush, telling reporters that he missed the controversial Super Bowl halftime show in which Janet Jackson’s breast was briefly exposed

“I just don’t have the energy to start everything again.” Fifty-year-old Naomi Granot of the Rafiah Yam settlement, on Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s decision to clear the Gaza Strip of Israeli settlements

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Michael Harrington”

“Dean supporters are calling and e-mailing us, saying Kerry used dirty tricks on Dean, and urging Ralph to get into the race as payback.” An official of Ralph Nader’s presidential exploratory committee, on Nader’s weighing a decision to enter the race, which he may make as early as this week

“If it had been left to me, I’d have chosen Justin Timberlake.” “NBC Nightly News” anchor Tom Brokaw, on the network’s choosing NBC reporter Brian Williams to replace him when he chooses to retire

“Now that we’re on dog pee, we can have an interesting conversation about that. I do not recommend drinking urine… but if you drink water straight from the river, you have a greater chance of getting an infection than you do if you drink urine.” Presidential hopeful Howard Dean, teaching an eighth-grade science class in La Crosse, Wis.

“Well, there is nothing to report. So there is nothing to talk about. I’m not worried about it. No.” Presidential hopeful John Kerry, on a rumor that he had an extramarital affair with a woman who once worked for the Associated Press

“He decided to invade Kuwait because he was probably not in his normal state. He was on drugs and drugs made him lose his mind.” Issam Rashid Walid, a former senior aide of Saddam Hussein, claiming the dictator was “heavily into drugs,” including heroin

“It’s acceptable practice to socialize with executive-branch officials when there are not personal claims against them. That’s all I’m going to say for now. Quack, quack.” Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, on duck hunting with Dick Cheney, which is in question because Cheney now has a case pending before the court

“People have been very open about it.” Katharina C. Baldegg, one of two Harvard students who conceived the idea for H Bomb, a student-run magazine featuring nude pictures of Harvard undergrads. The university is reconsidering the magazine’s status as a Harvard publication.

“Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end.” Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, officially announcing that products Barbie and Ken have broken up, “but will remain friends”

“When my son heard my demo, he told me to put [it] in a safe-deposit box and never take it out.” Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch, who writes religious and patriotic music, on trying his hand at rapping

“You really can’t stop her from being sexy, because that’s who she is.” Joe Simpson, on his daughter, pop star Jessica Simpson

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “John Epstein”

Iraqi Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari, a longtime critic of Saddam Hussein, on having “every belief” that weapons of mass destruction could be found

“All of us have made mistakes in our lives.”

Cleveland Indians minor-league pitcher Kazuhito Tadano, on having appeared in a gay porn video three years ago in Japan

“As a Christian, a trained engineer and scientist and a professor at Emory University, I am embarrassed.”

Former president Jimmy Carter, on Georgia’s proposal to replace the word “evolution” in the state’s curriculum with the phrase “biological changes over time” “He’s not a techno-klutz. I don’t think President Bush sends e-mails, either.”

Clinton Presidential Foundation president Skip Rutherford, on Bill Clinton’s having sent just two e-mails during his presidency

“Why would he want to rape her? She doesn’t look like a day at the beach.”

Florida Circuit Judge Gene Stephenson, commenting on a victim in the rape case he was presiding over. He has since apologized.

“I don’t know, but I think we’re getting hijacked.”

Betty Ong, a flight attendant aboard American Airlines Flight 11, in a recently released 23-minute telephone call to the airline’s operation center just before the plane slammed into the World Trade Center on September 11

“There’s nothing like coming from behind and winning two very important presidential primaries to make somebody look better.”

John Kerry spokesperson Stephanie Cutter, on speculation that the presidential candidate has received Botox injections, a rumor Kerry has denied

“I like the music and the lyrics. I don’t know why. I don’t agree with what it’s saying. It just makes me feel good.”

Fallujah, Iraq, resident Ahmad Hossein, on the popularity of anti-American music in Iraq, which frequently calls for insurrections

“I love my son. If anyone tells me I can’t help my son, they can drop dead.”

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman, on arranging a special party during the National Council of Mayors convention where fellow mayors were asked to consider buying his son’s computer software

“I’m always going to do nudity; I’m going to insist on it on all my contracts.”

Actress Diane Keaton, when asked if she thought her nude scene in “Something’s Gotta Give” helped her win a Golden Globe

“I may have invented it, but Bill [Gates] made it famous.”

David Bradley, the computer programmer who wrote the code for ControlAltDelete, which shuts down frozen computers when they will no longer follow other commands, poking fun at the freeze-prone Microsoft Windows

“For this creative hard work I bless you from my heart.”

Pope John Paul II, on being treated to a performance of break-dancers

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Joyce Brandon”

Iraqi Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari, a longtime critic of Saddam Hussein, on having “every belief” that weapons of mass destruction will still be found

“When it’s cooked, it’s 1 million percent safe.”

Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who worked in a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet to pay for college in the United States, urging his country to eat more poultry. Thailand is one of 10 Asian countries hit by bird flu.

“Adjectives like ‘abject’ and ‘servile’ come to mind.”

Former BBC manager Sir David Attenborough, on the broadcaster’s apology to the British government, after the Hutton report cleared 10 Downing Street but harshly criticized the network for its reporting on the lead-up to the Iraq war

“You don’t know what trauma that is–to look, to see those heads coming down, as if they were chicken heads.”

Naim Barazani, on seeing human heads fall from the sky after a suicide bomber destroyed a Jerusalem bus, killing himself and 10 others

“It is not right to sell our honor and our soul for a plate of lentils, flogging for the nth time the same Airbus.”

Former Socialist minister Jack Lang, criticizing French President Jacques Chirac’s diplomatic embrace of China. Chirac issued the strongest Western protest yet of Taiwan’s plan to hold an islandwide referendum, and called for an end to the EU arms embargo on China.

“The tribunal condemns you, sir.”

French Judge Catherine Pierce, reading aloud a prison sentence to former prime minister Alain Juppe, for his involvement in a scheme to create phony city-hall jobs in Paris

“With a gun in my hand, I don’t care how I die, but I’m confident that if they invade us, I will go down fighting.”

Cuban President Fidel Castro, to anti-globalization activists in Havana, referring to fears on the island of a U.S. invasion

“I look in the mirror and I like what I see. And I think I am more pleasing to others, too.”

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, on his new look after having cosmetic surgery around his eyes and going on a diet. He added, “I am not finished yet, as you can see.”

“For this creative hard work I bless you from my heart.” Pope John Paul II, on being treated to a performance of Polish break-dancers at the Vatican “He’s a model prisoner… I’m sure he won’t do anything like this again.”

Harald Ermel, lawyer for Armin Meiwes, a German man who was convicted of manslaughter for killing and eating a willing man he met through the Internet

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Kevin Walker”

Presidential hopeful Howard Dean, in a much-ridiculed (and remixed) outburst to supporters after his third-place finish in the Iowa caucuses

“They may have a vision for the country, and that’s fine, but all I see them doing up there in New Hampshire is knocking the hell out of my son and I don’t like it one bit.”

Former president George H.W. Bush, on the crop of Democratic candidates running for president

“I believe Mr. Rogers was a modern-day prophet. He was living gospel.”

Luke Mayernik, the 21-year-old music director at St. Justin Church in Pittsburgh, on composing the 11-movement “Memoriam: A Requiem for Mr. Rogers”

“When the keepers found her she vocally responded–it was almost a ’thank goodness you’re here’.”

Maria Finnegan, director of life sciences for New Zealand’s Auckland Zoo, on an elephant that used a log to smash an electric fence and escape for a half hour, forcing some road closures during the morning commuter rush

“Already, the Kay report identified dozens of weapons of mass destruction-related program activities and significant amounts of equipment that Iraq concealed from the United Nations.”

President George W. Bush, in his State of the Union address, on evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

“I don’t think they existed.”

David Kay, after stepping down as the U.S. special adviser leading the hunt for weapons in Iraq, on the lack of evidence proving Saddam Hussein’s alleged arsenal

“Gerald was by far the best in terms of his level of interest, his life experience.”

Columbia journalism-school dean Nicholas Lemann, on hiring Gerald Boyd, who stepped down as managing editor of The New York Times in the wake of the Jayson Blair scandal, as the department’s director of case studies

“Why would he want to be a guy that’s slow and has an average arm? I would want to be Michael Vick. That’s an aspiration.”

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, on being Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme’s role model

“I should have picked it up at the final proofreading stage, but unfortunately it slipped through.”

Guy Procter, editor of Trail, on the hiking magazine’s publishing a route plan that, if followed, would’ve plunged readers down Britain’s largest mountain, Ben Nevis

“I am confirming the report that Jennifer Lopez has ended her engagement to Ben Affleck. At this difficult time, we ask that you respect her privacy.”

A Lopez spokesman, on the breakup

“I didn’t know who she was.”

Ashton Kutcher, on first meeting his girlfriend Demi Moore

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Curtis Hanson”

“It’s like the Lord somehow laid in our lap something that could be a great catalyst for spiritual awakening in this nation.” Morris Chapman, president of the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, on Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ”

“Everybody is busy and has stuff to do, but we should all take our time to do what we need to do to make the process work.” New Hampshire Gov. Craig Benson, on being picked to serve on a jury in a child-sexual-assault case

“The European situation is far from safe and anything might happen. It only needs a little ill will or bad faith on the part of a great power to precipitate a far greater conflict.” Winston Churchill, in a recently discovered letter to his cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, predicting World War I two years before the conflict began

“The body of a beautiful 11-year-old girl has been found.” Sarasota County, Fla., Sheriff Bill Balkwill, on finding the body of Carlie Brucia behind a church, five days and a few miles from a carwash where a surveillance camera recorded her abduction

“I felt I would be fired if I didn’t lie.” Former Merrill Lynch assistant Douglas Faneuil, the prosecution’s star witness in the Martha Stewart trial, testifying that he believed he’d lose his job unless he backed up Stewart’s version of why she dumped her ImClone Systems stock

“Saw the first half, did not see the halftime–I was preparing for the day and fell asleep. But you all can tell me about it.” President George W. Bush, telling reporters that he missed the controversial Super Bowl halftime show in which Janet Jackson’s breast was briefly exposed

“I do think he needs some sassy highlights.” “Queer Eye” fashionista Carson Kressley, on President Bush

“If ‘barmy new rules’ help, I’m for them.” Lewisham councillor Andrew Brown, on the London borough’s banning singing, playing certain Olympic sports and landing helicopters in South London parks

“I thought Nicole may be too old.” “City of God” director Fernando Meirelles, on considering approaching Nicole Kidman, 36, to star as the 22-year-old heroine in his “Constant Gardener,” based on the John le Carre novel. He instead offered the part to 35-year-old Naomi Watts.

“Do I lift? Do I drive? Am I bagging groceries at a very busy supermarket? No. I sit with a little pencil, and if I have an idea, I write it down. It’s light work.” “The Producers” creator Mel Brooks, 77, on the prospect of retiring

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “James Drake”

“I don’t know how long it is going to be like this. Every time I go, I break my own record. I get younger and younger.” South African Philip Rabinowitz, the world’s fastest 100-year-old, who recently won a 100m sprint in 30.86 seconds in Cape Town

“I joked with the guy that Saint Paul never had to worry about fire codes.” The Rev. Scott Breedlove, pastor of the Jesus Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, on a local fire code that prohibited his churchgoers from burning books and other items they believed offended God, in a bonfire

“It’s enough fun that the money’s just icing on the cake. But there seems to be a lot of icing.” “Jeopardy!” champion Ken Jennings, who has won more than $1 million in appearances on the show

“You gotta like a senator who is a pooper picker-upper.” Laurel, Md., resident Connie Thompson, on Sen. Edward Kennedy, who was spotted cleaning up after his dog near the FDR Memorial in Washington

“My father wouldn’t expect me to be a Republican just to emulate him. He raised his kids to be independent thinkers.” Ron Reagan, who plans to give a speech on stem-cell research at the Democratic National Convention next week in Boston

“It’s solely for access, for safety and so that I can be located at any moment wherever I am.” Mexican Attorney General Rafael Macedo, on a microchip he had had inserted into his arm, giving him access to a new crime database and allowing him to be traced if he is abducted

“He’s not the shotgun-dad type, he’s the joking-around-to-the-point-he-scares-the-heck-out-of-them type.” Jenna Bush, on how President George W. Bush interacts with his daughters’ boyfriends

“It’s like finding the end of the rainbow in Australia.” Frasier Claughon, who while vacationing in Melbourne, Australia, bought a locked suitcase for $37. The contents, which included previously lost Beatles memorabilia, are valued at an estimated $1 million.

“It’s history from the horse’s mouth.” Californian Robert Barrows, who hopes soon to patent a new video-equipped tombstone that would display a message from a grave’s occupant

“We like the Hotel Rival better.” Hotel heiress Paris Hilton, on staying at the Hotel Rival in Stockholm during a recent trip instead of at her father’s Hilton around the corner

“I call it a new kind of airport security.” Thailand’s “Condom King,” Mechai Viravaidya, on his AIDS-prevention policy that includes handing out condoms at airports, banks and highway toll stations

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Don Serrata”

“[It’s] a real disaster, a real catastrophe and an unprecedented lawlessness.” Palestinian Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei, on a spate of kidnappings in the Gaza Strip last week

“We don’t oppose Lula, we’re here to tell him to hurry up.” Brazilian union official Joo Osorio, explaining why thousands poured into the streets of Sao Paulo on Saturday to protest the country’s slow economic recovery

“I make decisions and he carries them out.” French President Jacques Chirac, reasserting his authority over ambitious Finance Minister Nicolas Sarkozy. Tensions between the two have been steadily growing.

“He’s not the shotgun-dad type, he’s the joking-around-to-the-point-he-scares-the-heck-out-of-them type.” Jenna Bush, on how her father, U.S. President George W. Bush, interacts with her and her twin sister Barbara’s boyfriends

“I don’t know how long it is going to be like this. Every time I go, I break my own record. I get younger and younger.” South African Philip Rabinowitz, the world’s fastest 100-year-old, after a 100-meter sprint at the Green Point Stadium in Cape Town. He won the race with a time of 30.86 seconds.

“It’s like finding the end of the rainbow in Australia.” Englishman Fraser Claughton, who bought a locked suitcase for $37 while vacationing in Melbourne, Australia. The contents, which included previously lost Beatles memorabilia, are valued at an estimated $1 million.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Wendy Abrams”

“I think it’s entirely possible.”

U.S. Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, on whether U.S. forces might be needed in Iraq for a “good number of years”

“If a prime minister reaches this point, the best thing to do is leave him alone in his delirium.” Former Italian prime minister Massimo D’Alema, on current leader Silvio Berlusconi’s accusations that ballots were tampered with in the recent European elections

“I stand for eight to 10 hours a day. Why is standing limited to four hours?” U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in a newly revealed 2000 memo on interrogation tactics, commenting on the length of time terrorism detainees could be made to stand

“I think he was just having a bad day.” U.S. Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy, of Vermont, after a heated exchange on the Senate floor with U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney that ended with Cheney’s saying “Go f— yourself”

“Yeeeeeeee-haaah!” veteran test pilot Mike Melvill, from California, 63, shortly after he landed and became the first human to enter space in a privately funded craft, SpaceShipOne, last week

“I have been particularly concerned with the sufferings of chickens for many years.” The Dalai Lama, in a letter applauding KFC’s decision to abandon plans to open stores in Tibet

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Wendy Houle”

“This was a global intelligence failure.” U.S. Sen. Pat Roberts, in a Senate-intelligence-committee report released last week saying the Bush administration received faulty information on Iraq’s WMD capabilities

“They can say the earth is flat. It won’t make it legal, it won’t make it true and it won’t make it just.” Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, rejecting the World Court ruling that Israel’s West Bank barrier is illegal

“We’ve got better hair.” U.S. Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, on how he and his well-coiffed choice for vice president, Sen. John Edwards, stack up against their opponents

“Although China’s a developing country, we won’t beg.” Sun Laiyan, chief administrator of China’s National Space Administration, on U.S. reluctance to let China join the International Space Station

“I woke up at 4 o’clock with cramps in my stomach… At my age, there’s only a few things that bring that: bulls and beautiful women.” Joseph Distler, 61, who has been gored three times since he started running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, in 1967

“This animal is in serious trouble.” Deborah Tabarat, executive director of the Australian Koala Foundation, urging the government to declare koalas a vulnerable species. Koalas face extinction in the next 15 years from loss of habitat.

“Peace and love… or nothing at all.” Singer George Michael, explaining to his fans the reason for shutting down his Web site’s message board because it was “packed full of negative comment”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Colleen Donaldson”

“He could have made it right with the book. But he hasn’t. He is a revisionist of history. He has lied.” Monica Lewinsky, on former president Clinton’s account of their liaison in his book, “My Life”

“Before you start having robots run our subways, I’d like to see them get the P.A. system up and running… Get the basic stuff done first before you go into this Buck Rogers mode.” John C. Liu, chairman of the New York City Council’s Transportation Committee, on the city’s plan for a $287 million computer-run train line

“If making people laugh is a criminal offense, then they should send me to prison for life.” Mark Roberts, on being found guilty by a Texas jury of criminal trespassing for racing onto the field during the Super Bowl wearing only a thong. He faces up to 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine.

“I stand for 8-10 hours a day. Why is standing limited to four hours?” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in a newly revealed 2002 memo on interrogation tactics, commenting on the length of time terrorism detainees could be made to stand

“Well, I expressed myself rather forcefully, felt better after I had done it.” Vice President Dick Cheney, in an interview with Fox News reporter Neil Cavuto, on an exchange with Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor in which he used the F word

“We in the U.K. have been unable to accept that the U.S. military tribunals… offer sufficient guarantees of a fair trial in accordance with international standards.” Lord Goldsmith, Britain’s attorney general, saying U.S. plans for military trials of Guantanamo Bay detainees are “unacceptable”

“You’d be surprised how many people these days want dinosaur fossils to match the color of their drapes or just serve as monuments to their raging egos.” New York paleontological consultant Henry Galiano, on a Guerney’s auction that featured dinosaur fossils

“People came out here 125 years ago looking for gold and silver… and that’s what brought me out here today.” Sen. John Kerry, mining for campaign contributions in Colorado

“Of course we’ll ask him to pose, but we know he’ll say ’no’.” Playgirl Magazine Editor in Chief Michele Zipp, on its contest asking readers to choose which news anchor they’d like to see in the publication

“Yeeeeeeee-haaah!” Veteran test pilot Mike Melvill, 63, who last week became the first human to enter space in a privately funded craft, shortly after completing his mission

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Marc Travis”

“I’m gonna be a nervous wreck knowing this guy is walking past my front door. They should have dropped him on a deserted island. Not here.” New York resident Cesar Sanchez, 58, on convicted child-killer Joel Steinberg’s move into Harlem’s Fortune Academy halfway house after serving 16 years in prison

“I feel like ‘Cactus Gavvy’ Cravath. Do you know who that is? Right. Nobody does. He’s the guy who had the home run record before Babe Ruth came along.” Tom Walsh, of Washington, D.C., who held the record for “Jeopardy” winnings until Ken Jennings of Salt Lake City broke it recently

“I’m taking care of myself now so some day people will see I’m still a girl to be proud of.” University of Wisconsin-Madison student Audrey Seiler, who faked her own abduction in March, in a court hearing in which she pled guilty to two misdemeanor counts

“I am Saddam Hussein, the president of Iraq.” Captured Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, in an Iraqi court appearance last week

“The only thing in abundance in Darfur is weapons. It is easier to get a Kalashnikov than a loaf of bread.” U.N. Emergency Relief coordinator Jan Egeland, saying that the United Nations was slow to act in the Darfur region of Sudan, where villagers have been displaced by militias and many are suffering from disease or malnutrition

“Today, we begin to restore faith, integrity and honor to our government. It is our solemn obligation. It will be our lasting legacy.” M. Jodi Rell, while being sworn in as Connecticut’s new governor. She replaced John G. Rowland, who resigned amid a federal corruption investigation and the threat of impeachment.

“I’m the working man’s Donald Trump. He brings the people into the penthouse. We bring them into the house.” The Rev. Al Sharpton, on his upcoming reality TV show “I Hate My Job,” in which he will help contestants find other work

“Marrying Kevin was the last thing I was thinking about doing. But then I said, ‘You know what? This is my life and I don’t care what people think. I’m going to get married. I’m in love with him’.” Singer Britney Spears, on her engagement to dancer Kevin Federline

“It’s a nonpartisan restaurant, I might add.” Colleen Evans, representative for the Ritz-Carlton in the Georgetown neighborhood of Washington, D.C., on the hotel’s restaurant Farenheit, which has seen an increase in patrons since Michael Moore’s film “Farenheit 9/11” started playing at the Loews theater next door

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “John Myers”

“I continue to grieve, as does my family, over the loss of the company, my failure to be able to save it. But failure does not equate to a crime.” Former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, pleading not guilty to federal charges that stemmed from the energy company’s collapse

“He was screaming and yelling… It was supposedly some sort of art. If that is art, I’m a truck.” Alf Floernes, owner of a McDonald’s restaurant in Kristiansand, Norway, on a performance artist disguised as Ronald McDonald who came into the restaurant and loudly criticized the company’s policies and food

“It’s the closest thing to your bed. It’s either this or the top of a table with your head down.” Broadway singer and dancer Abdul Latif, on “napping pods” provided by New York City company Metro Naps. The business, housed in the Empire State building, offers 20-minute naps in reclining chairs for $14.

KERRY’S CHOICE: DEM PICKS GEPHARDT AS VP CANDIDATE. Headline on the front page of the New York Post. The following day the paper apologized and corrected the record.

“I have to accept we have not found them, that we may not find them.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, stating that WMD on Iraq could possibly not be found

“We’ve got better hair.” Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, comparing hairstyles with his Republican opponents while introducing his new running mate, Sen. John Edwards

“Before you reach peace you’ve got to have equality.” Palestinian rapper Tamer (T.N.) Nafar, who recently performed at a New York concert series held by J-Dub records, a nonprofit Jewish record label

“I’d have to go with Hillary Clinton. Forever could be, like, 50 years, so if I’m stranded with one person she better be kick-ass both upstairs and downstairs.” “School of Rock” star Jack Black, on the woman he’d want to end up with if he was stranded on a desert island

“I called and said that I had to go to my eye appointment in Boston. I was going to Boston so it’s a little ‘white lie’.” Geraldine Williams, 68, a cleaning woman who recently won the $294 million Mega Millions lottery, on what she told a client when she skipped an appointment to discuss her jackpot with attorneys

“I woke up at 4 o’clock with cramps in my stomach… At my age, there’s only a few things that bring that: bulls and beautiful women.” Joseph Distler, 61, who has been gored three times since he started running with the bulls in 1967 in Pamplona

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-08” author: “Lee Harris”

“No, present. Current. It’s the will of the people.” Saddam Hussein, during his preliminary hearing in Iraq, correcting the judge who stated his profession as “former president of the Republic of Iraq.”

“They must be broken.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, urging the Sudanese government to crack down on the Arab militants responsible for attacks on villagers in Darfur. Ten thousand people have died in what the United Nations calls “the worst humanitarian crisis in the world.”

“We made history… people are out fighting for democracy.” Jackie Hung Ling-Yu, of the Civil Human Rights Front, which staged a pro-democracy protest last week in Hong Kong. Hundreds of thousands marched after Beijing denied them the right to directly choose their government.

“People would still like to see Paris Hilton rather than Paris, France.” U.S. television journalist Barbara Walters, at a marketing conference, explaining the celebrity-obsessed American mentality

“I do feel a bit ashamed to be seen carrying books like the young kids… Sometimes I hide them under my sari.” Fatima Khatun, 84, from Chuadanga, Bangladesh, on returning to primary school. Khatun never had the opportunity as a child because she was married at 7.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Brett Crane”

“I tell you about my plans to depart with sadness, but with head held very, very high.” CIA Director George Tenet, announcing his decision to resign for “personal reasons”

“He’s younger and better-looking than I am, but that’s something that I’ve no doubt at all that a few years in office will cure him of.” British Prime Minister Tony Blair, on the new Spanish prime minister, Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero

“I did have my kids at dinner, at a Benihana-type place. And I said, ‘OK, we gotta toast. This would have been your mother’s 45th birthday’.” O. J. Simpson, telling Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren how he recently observed the memory of his slain ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson

“A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving. I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.” Former president Bill Clinton, on his soon-to-be-published memoir, “My Life”

“I might put it in a savings account or something… I’ll probably take a little and spend it at the mall.” David Tidmarsh, 14, on what he’ll do with his $12,000 prize for winning the National Spelling Bee. The winning word was “autochthonous,” which means indigenous.

“Find the pro-lifers in a newsroom. That’s harder than finding Waldo.” David Yarnold, editor of the opinion pages at the San Jose Mercury News, on a new study by the Pew Research Center that found that just 7 percent of reporters at national news organizations are self-described conservatives; 34 percent are self-identified liberals

“There should be a draft. I mean, if we are going to be serious about this military posture we seem to be adopting all over the world, there should be a draft.” Gardner Botsford, 86, a World War II veteran who landed at Omaha Beach on D-Day

“We are on the way to a point of no return, and we will end up in a Fallujah situation. It is already a Fallujah situation in some areas. L.A. is on the road to Fallujah.” Civil-rights lawyer Connie Rice, saying that Los Angeles has too few officers to “police humanely”

“I was stunned by his grasp of the subject. And my background is 36 years in the CIA… I was impressed, and I’m not easily impressed.” Peter Earnest, executive director of the International Spy Museum in Washington, on giving a tour to “Austin Powers” actor Mike Myers

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “George Lauer”

“This administration never said that the 9/11 attacks were orchestrated between Saddam and Al Qaeda.” U.S. President George W. Bush, responding to the 9-11 Commission’s findings that there was “no credible evidence” of Iraq-Qaeda cooperation in the attacks against America. Bush still insists that there were, however, ties between Iraq and the terrorist group.

“We still are not in a position to say that this is exclusively for peaceful purposes.” Mohamed El Baradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, on Iran’s interest in purchasing 100,000 magnets for nuclear centrifuges on the black market

“Keep cool on the communion thing.” The Rev. Robert Drinana, a Jesuit priest and former U.S congressman, advising U.S. presidential candidate John Kerry to avoid talking about religion. Kerry was barred from taking communion by four different Roman Catholic priests because of his pro-choice beliefs.

“Good evening. I just got the good news that I have given the lord of Italian TV a sound thrashing.” Former Italian news anchorwoman Lilli Gruber, on beating out Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in European Parliament elections

“I did [it] for the worst possible reason–just because I could.” Former U.S. president Bill Clinton, explaining why he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Charles Richardson”

“If anybody has a mortarboard, you can move your tassels from right to left, right to left, which is what I hope happened to your politics in the last four years.” George Washington University president Stephen Trachtenberg, at a graduation ceremony

“Looking back, we wish we had been more aggressive in re-examining the claims as new evidence emerged–or failed to emerge.” The New York Times, in an editor’s note, saying it relied too heavily before the war on pro-invasion Iraqi-exile sources who provided misinformation on the existence of Saddam’s WMD and connections to Al Qaeda

“Some of the students feel that they are so privileged that they have the privilege [to steal].” Prosecutor Marc Citron, on Princeton students’ stealing from the school store. Ten have been arrested since March.

“This disturbing intelligence indicates Al Qaeda’s specific intention to hit the United States hard.” Attorney General John Ashcroft, on intelligence from multiple sources indicating that the terrorist group intends to attack the country in the coming months

“I sent American troops to Iraq to make its people free, not to make them American. Iraqis will write their own history, and find their own way.” President George W. Bush, on plans for Iraqi self-government following elections in 2005

“When I talked to the president he was loaded.” Henry Kissinger, in a recently released transcript of an October 1973 telephone conversation during which he told an aide that President Richard Nixon was too drunk to take a call from the British prime minister

“This was a clear departure from our routine. It’s a rule always to call the police even if you believe it’s a hoax.” Swedish postal-service spokesman Mattias Geijerstam, on workers’ delivering a package marked WARNING, BOMB!, NOW YOU’LL HAVE IT! and LOOK OUT!

“It was something that was hinted at and hinted at, and we started to do research and sure enough the information we were getting from outside sources was true.” Kathryn O’Dell, executive director of the International Clown Hall of Fame, on the hall’s falsely naming entertainer Larry Harmon as the creator of Bozo. It is now posthumously inducting Vance (Pinto) Colvig as the true creator.

“They know I’m interested in doing pieces for them that come along… If they call upon me to be the senior citizen, I’ll be the senior citizen.” Legendary anchorman Walter Cronkite, on the possibility of contributing to MTV News’ political coverage

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Virginia Handel”

“We have reached the crest of the last hill in our tortuous ascent to the heights of peace. There are no more hills ahead of us; the remaining is flat ground.” John Garang, leader of the Sudan People’s Liberation Army, on peace talks that could put an end to Africa’s longest-running civil war

“What is required now is an exit strategy, not a dig-a-bigger-hole policy.” British M.P. Alex Salmond, denouncing his government’s decision to send 370 more troops to Iraq

“Looking back, we wish we had been more aggressive in re-examining the claims as new evidence emerged–or failed to emerge.” The New York Times, in an editor’s note, saying it relied too heavily before the war on pro-invasion Iraqi-exile sources who provided misinformation on the existence of Saddam’s WMD and connections to Al Qaeda

“I never thought [flogging] was this bad.” Siti Arbaiyah Hussin, 11, a student in Taiping, Malaysia, after watching demonstrations of flogging on an effigy and seeing pictures of flogging injuries. Malaysian authorities have begun the demonstrations of this common punishment to deter kids from crime.

“Some people have objected that our border guards are not very smiley.” Russian Col. Gen. Vladimir Pronichev, explaining the logic behind new orders requiring churlish border guards to be more polite to visitors entering the country

“My mother abbreviated Shanaaz to Nazi when I was a year old, and it’s been my nickname ever since.” Cape Argus, South Africa, resident Shanaaz Ismail, 35, whose vanity license plates–which read NAZI–prompted complaints from a local Jewish group

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-29” author: “Howard Hair”

“That’s why we have these treaties. So that when Americans are captured, they are not tortured. That’s the reason, in case anyone forgets it.” U.S. Sen. Joseph Biden, to Attorney General John Ashcroft, when Ashcroft refused to release a Justice Department memo justifying the use of torture in the name of national security

“Yesterday we were divided on Iraq. Today we are united on Iraq.” U.N. Security Council president Lauro Baja Jr., of the Philippines, on the unanimous vote to end the formal occupation of Iraq on June 30 and transfer “full sovereignty” to an interim Iraqi government

“Spectacles such as this reinforce my belief that there is a Creator, and we are just tiny specks within this universe.” Zulkarnain Hassan, 26, on witnessing the planet Venus crossing the sun, from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

“As for me, I’m fine.” President Joseph Kabila, of Congo, after security forces successfully thwarted a coup attempt

“He particularly liked the cheeseburger he had yesterday.” U.S. President George W. Bush, referring to his meal with French President Jacques Chirac, after a highly publicized reconciliation between the two at the G8 summit in Sea Island, Georgia

“We were so scared, but even more surprised when they looked at her phone and threw it back.” Tandeka Mazwane, after she and a friend were mugged in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. The robbers gave back her friend’s cell phone because it was an old model.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-22” author: “Anne Price”

“If she were being hit in the head with a two by four in school, would the court also say I have no right to object?” California atheist Michael Newdow, who argued before the Supreme Court that the phrase “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance was unconstitutional. The court rejected the case, saying that under California custody law, Newdow had no right to battle the phrase on his daughter’s behalf.

“It’s serious, but the sky is not falling. Of course, we wish it would, in the form of rain.” Herb Guenther, director of the Arizona Department of Water Resources, on a lingering drought in the Colorado River Basin and other portions of the West

“I am more than happy to answer every question, but I’m not going to engage in USADA’s secret kangaroo court. I will answer USADA’s questions in a public forum that will be open for the entire world to see, hear and evaluate.” Olympic sprinting champion Marion Jones, at a San Francisco press conference, on the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency’s investigation into allegations that she used banned drugs

“He said they are like dogs, and if you allow them to believe at any point that they are more than a dog, then you’ve lost control of them.” Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski, detailing how she was allegedly ordered to treat prisoners at Abu Ghraib Prison by the current Iraqi prison chief, Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller

“If there was one unmistakable failure, it is the failure of the headquarters at FAA.” Republican commissioner John F. Lehman, at the 9-11 Commission’s final public hearing in Washington last week. The commission’s report found federal aviation administrators slow to inform military commanders about the September 11 hijackings.

“The security of our two nations [is] intertwined.” Afghan President Hamid Karzai, asking Congress for a long-term commitment to rebuild his country and give private companies incentives to invest there

“I hope people won’t be inebriated when they vote, but it seems like a fun way to get people involved in the voting process.” Christopher Burns, cofounder of the Rochester, N.Y., Young Professionals, on a plan by local Democrats to offer free beer to those 21 and over who register to vote

“We’ve been so blessed with Hollywood endings that we’ve come to expect it.” Los Angeles Lakers fan Nicholas Nicassio, of Highland Park, Calif., on his shock at the team’s Game Five loss of the NBA championship to the Detroit Pistons

“I don’t know what to make of it. I am just glad that no one was sitting on the couch, because they would have [been] absolutely crowned.” Auckland, New Zealand, native Phil Archer, after a grapefruit-size meteorite crashed through his family’s living-room ceiling and postponed their plans for Sunday breakfast

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Kenneth Boozer”

“What set him apart? He was Ray Charles–just that!” James Brown, on R&B legend Ray Charles, 73, who passed away last week

“We have no interest in having SUVs in the city. They’re dangerous to others and take up too much space.” Paris Deputy Mayor Denis Baupin, on a resolution passed by the city council that could lead to a ban on the vehicles in about 18 months

“We know what we have to do as a team, and we just have to go out and do it… I know I have to get up in the morning and put my underwear on first, and put my pants on. I don’t need people to tell me that.” Shaquille O’Neal, of the Los Angeles Lakers, after his team was upset by the Detroit Pistons in Game 1 of the NBA Finals

“Ronald Reagan belongs to the ages now, but we preferred it when he belonged to us.” President George W. Bush, in his Friday eulogy at the National Cathedral in Washington

“Today we are united on Iraq. Yesterday we were divided on Iraq.” United Nations Security Council president Lauro Baja Jr., of the Philippines, on the unanimous vote in favor of a resolution to end the formal occupation of Iraq on June 30 and transfer “full sovereignty” to an interim Iraqi government

“We can’t even tell when a car will reach [the] Zamboni Gate in traffic, but we know to a fraction of a second when Venus meets the sun every 122 years.” Bologna, Italy, astronomer Corrado Bartolini, on watching Venus as it passed across the face of the sun

“It’s to sex up the book industry, which probably needs it, but also to address the more serious issue that reading has fallen off the radar of younger men.” Author Neil Griffiths, on Penguin Books’ sending out a sexy model to offer $1,800 to men spotted reading a selected book of the month

“We took a puck in the gut this morning.” Tampa Tribune editor Rosemary Goudreau, on running an editorial that said the Tampa Bay Lightning lost the deciding Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, which the team won, 2-1. The newspaper later ran an accurate editorial.

“It’s clearly based on impulse and passion, and it’s a disaster. At the rate she’s going, she’s going to use up half of Hollywood by 2010.” Sharyn Wolf, author of “How to Stay Lovers for Life,” on Jennifer Lopez’s surprise marriage to Mark Anthony

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-02” author: “Richard Therrien”

“I’d even be willing to give him my opinion of the election in November, if he wants to know.” Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, jokingly offering his advice to President George W. Bush on how to win the U.S. election. Rodriguez Zapatero and Bush are at odds over the Spanish P.M.’s decision to withdraw his country’s troops from Iraq.

“They came from God, they go back to God.” Jumai Isa, on her husband and five children, who were hacked to death by Christian militiamen in Nigeria last week. The attack, the latest in a three-month-long conflict between Christian and Muslim tribes, left an estimated 630 dead.

“They have removed the heart–Aristide. We are now waiting on the operating table for a transplant, and the operation is being done without anesthesia.” Leslie Voltaire, former minister of Haitians Living Abroad, lamenting Haiti’s economic deterioration since President Jean-Bertrand Aristide’s ouster in February

“We’re not waiting for the day of Cuban freedom, we are working for the day of freedom in Cuba.” President George Bush, after a presidential committee recommended that the United States take steps to block the planned succession of Cuban leader Fidel Castro’s younger brother Raul

“Who’s more important to him–his wife or a dog?” Nanjing, China, resident Xiao Fang, reacting to her husband’s divorce request after she hired four hit men to kill his dog. She feared the pet would make a mess of their apartment.

“Britney was absolutely devastated when I told her.” Actress Taryn Manning, on breaking the news to pal Britney Spears that the Japanese symbols tattooed on her hipbone were meaningless gibberish

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-08” author: “Donna Rose”

“We’re not like NASCAR drivers just yet, not to say that it’s not in the eventual future.” Todd Zeile, Mets infielder and a longtime players-union representative, on Major League Baseball’s announcing–and retracting–a deal that would have placed a Spider-Man symbol atop the bases to promote “Spider-Man 2”

“I don’t think any painting in the world is worth $100 million.” Picasso biographer John Richardson, on the fact that Picasso’s “Boy With a Pipe” became the most expensive painting ever sold at auction after an anonymous buyer purchased it for $104.1 million

“This government is in one hell of a mess, and frankly, my dear, very few up here give a damn.” Georgia Sen. Zell Miller, admitting that his proposal to repeal the 17th Amendment to return the election of senators to state legislatures doesn’t stand a chance of passage

“We in Al Qaeda organization will guarantee, God willing, 10,000 grams of gold to whoever kills the occupier [Paul] Bremer, or the American chief commander or his deputyin Iraq.” A statement, attributed to Osama bin Laden, offering money in exchange for the killing of top U.S. and U.N. officials in Iraq

“On a spectrum of terrible to very good, we are sitting at terrible.” Johns Hopkins University computer-science professor Aviel Rubin, warning of the vulnerability of the electronic-voting technology that’s to be used in the November elections

“I think women make better senators than men… These little ladies like Elizabeth Dole and Mary Landrieu are terrific senators.” South Carolina Sen. Fritz Hollings, on expecting Democrat Inez Tenenbaum to win his seat when he retires in November

“Making a great motion picture is easy. It’s getting people to pay $9 to watch a total piece of s–t that is really hard.” Actor Rob Schneider, on his movie career

“They want the focus to be on the graduates and their families, and not how long they’re going to have to wait to go through the metal detectors.” White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe, on why the president and First Lady won’t be attending their daughters’ college-graduation ceremonies

“Britney was absolutely devastated when I told her.” Actress Taryn Manning, on breaking the news to pal Britney Spears that the Japanese symbols tattooed on her hipbone were meaningless gibberish

“Why can’t rock music be about growing old?” Sixty-year-old Roger Daltrey of the Who, who once sang, “Hope I die before I get old”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Wanda Farruggio”

“We went in because we had to find the perpetrators, and what we found was a huge rat’s nest that is still festering today.” U.S. Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff, on the situation in Fallujah, Iraq, where insurgents continue to wreak havoc on U.S. forces

“Shocked and sickened.” Earl Spencer, younger brother of Diana, Princess of Wales, describing the family’s reaction to American network CBS’s decision to show photos of her moments after her fatal car crash

“As I was telling my husb– As I was telling President Bush.” U.S. national-security adviser Condoleezza Rice, at a dinner party hosted by New York Times D.C. bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife, Times reporter Felicity Barringer

“We should be driving this train, not the international community. We’re the ones that got our buildings blown up.” U.S. Congressman John Carter, addressing the debate over what types of biometric information should be included as part of new visa- security measures for foreigners entering the United States

“Anyone who has a temperature over 38 degrees Celsius will be taken to the hospital, no one will be exempt.” A statement from China’s Health Ministry after several new cases of SARS surfaced last week, indicating that the country’s authorities have learned their lesson from covering up last year’s outbreak

“He was a big boy and obviously aroused.” Dave Alsop, a visitor at a British safari park, attempting to explain the two-tonne white rhino that tried to have sex with his car

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-11” author: “Raul Kim”

Gen. Sir Mike Jackson, on allegations that British soldiers beat Iraqi prisoners. The reports followed similar accusations against the U.S. military.

“I believe that people whose skins aren’t necessarily–are a different color than white can self-govern.”

President George W. Bush, denouncing critics who have argued that Iraqis are not ready to rule themselves. The White House did not clarify to whom Bush was referring.

“Gadzooks! As long as I don’t have to have it on my wall.”

Britain’s Prince Philip, on a new portrait that depicts him bare-chested with a bug on his shoulder and a plant growing out of his finger

“Libya, which led the liberation movement in the Third World, has decided to lead the peace movement all over the world,”

Libyan leader Muammar Kaddafi, in Brussels, where he met with EU officials for the first time in 15 years

“Two Mr. Scotts and two Mr. Spocks, and definitely no Captain Kirks… You don’t need a Kirk because all he does is issue orders–and kiss any woman in sight.”

British space expert Peter Bond, on concerns that NASA would chemically sterilize astronauts to suppress any natural urges that may arise among a six-person crew on a three-year trip to Mars. NASA denies that chemical sterilization is a possibility.

“It’s like someone from New York talking about Texas. Except that Texas never attacked New York and killed a couple million people.”

Prague resident David Cerny, sharing his feelings about Germany as the EU gained 10 more countries on May 1

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-15” author: “Julie Roberts”

“I feel deeply humbled, I feel greatly privileged… I thank the people from India from the bottom of my heart.” Sonia Gandhi, after an upset election victory likely made her the next prime minister of India

“I’ll be working at Penthouse soon!” Boston Globe reporter Donovan Slack, on the newspaper’s being duped into running what it believed were graphic photos of alleged sexual abuse of Iraqi women by U.S. soldiers. The pictures were, in fact, staged shots from a hard-core pornographic Web site.

“Ever since [Robert] De Niro put on 60 pounds for ‘Raging Bull,’ that set the course. He screwed us all, really.” Actor Brad Pitt, on buffing up by adding 10 pounds of muscle for the film “Troy”

“There has been no ransom note, no cardboard ear sent in the mail, nothing like that, so we’re still hoping he’ll just wander home.” Russ Beland, deputy assistant secretary of the Navy for manpower analysis and assessment, on a life-size cardboard cutout of Bill Clinton that mysteriously disappeared from a Pentagon office

“My name is Nick Berg, my father’s name is Michael, my mother’s name is Susan… I have a brother and sister, David and Sarah.” American civilian worker Nick Berg, identifying himself on a video before being decapitated by his captors in Iraq

“I do not know if someone had a bad day or not. It was a normal day for me, aside from the stuff I told you about.” Spc. Jeremy Sivits, on why the abuse of Iraqi detainees occurred. Lawyers for the seven soldiers charged say they were acting on orders of military intelligence.

“[Such a ticket] would be the political equivalent of the Yankees’ signing A-Rod… It would be a dream team.” Democratic strategist Chris Lehane, on the prospect of Sen. John McCain’s joining John Kerry’s ticket as veep. McCain says he has “totally ruled it out.”

“No more crack!” Louisiana state Rep. Tommy Wright, to his colleague, Rep. Derrick Shepherd, referring to Shepherd’s proposed bill that would criminalize the wearing of low-slung pants in public

“Are you missing any fingers?” Ray Darnell, director of the Rio Grande Zoo in Albuquerque, N.M., to a frequent visitor, after a finger was found outside the zoo’s jaguar exhibit. The man, who was seen earlier with blood on his pants, assured Darnell that he was “the wrong guy.”

“I don’t know how you live here without slitting your wrists.” Singer David Cassidy, to fans at a concert in Cardiff, Wales

“I’m proud of it.” Mandy Block, on receiving a certificate of bravery from the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council. Block was hit with a bat by the Pittsburgh Pirates’ Randall Simon last July as she raced around Milwaukee’s Miller Park dressed as an Italian sausage.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Ernie Metz”

“Promos sometimes get a little heated, and we made a mistake.” ABC News star Barbara Walters, apologizing on-air after the network billed a “20/20” special about adoption as “the ultimate reality show” and promised to show five couples “competing” for one baby

“This was a ‘G.I. Joe’ guy who got what was coming to him. That was not heroism, it was prophetic idiocy.” University of Massachusetts graduate student Rene Gonzalez, in a campus opinion column on Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan two years after he turned down an NFL contract in order to join the military. Gonzalez has since apologized to Tillman’s family.

“I can’t go into many details. But we have arranged for housing for him.” New York University spokesman John Beckman, on Steve Stanzak, an NYU sophomore who slept in the library for eight months because he says he was denied adequate financial aid

“It’s approximately 500, of which–I can get the exact numbers–approximately 350 are combat deaths.” Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, testifying before a congressional subcommittee on the U.S. death toll in Iraq. At the time he spoke, there had been 736 deaths.

“I fully intend to receive communion, one way or another. That’s very important to me.” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, a Roman Catholic who supports abortion rights, on taking communion despite Vatican opposition to pro-choice Catholics’ doing so

“I’ve seen him in his underwear.” Campaign aide Marvin Nicholson Jr., on his boss, John Kerry, and the intimacy of the campaign trail

“I would be the first to say that this subject inherently is about as interesting as prolonged root-canal work.” Oregon Sen. Ron Wyden, on favoring a permanent ban on taxing Internet access

“The action appears to be motivated by a political agenda designed to undermine the efforts of the United States in Iraq.” Sinclair Broadcast Group, in a statement on its refusal to let its eight ABC affiliates broadcast a “Nightline” program in which host Ted Koppel read the name of every American soldier killed in Iraq

“Perhaps the senator saw my movie ‘Gigli’ last fall and figured I’d be working for minimum wage myself. Both of us understand what it’s like to be worried about job security.” Actor Ben Affleck, on joining Sen. Edward Kennedy to promote the senator’s plan to increase the minimum wage

“Gadzooks! As long as I don’t have to have it on my wall.” Britain’s Prince Philip, on a new portrait that depicts him bare-chested with a bug on his shoulder and a plant growing out of his finger

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Lisa Elias”

“Finally–an Italian woman as prime minister.” Margherita Boniver of the Italian Foreign Ministry, joking about Sonia Gandhi’s appointment as leader of the parliamentary delegation of India’s victorious Congress Party, paving her way to become prime minister

“Bitter experience teaches us that a particularly careful and in-depth preparation is called for.” Excerpt from a Vatican document warning Roman Catholic women against marrying Muslims, because of concerns about Muslims’ respect for human rights and gender equality

“There is no hope for her release at the moment.” U Lwin, secretary of Burma’s National League for Democracy, on the ruling military junta’s refusal to release Aung San Suu Kyi from house arrest. The decision prompted the NLD to boycott Burma’s highly anticipated constitutional convention.

“I feel like a young man of 50.” Former president Nelson Mandela, 85, on hearing South Africa will host the World Cup in 2010

“Once again I take this opportunity to apologize, deeply apologize, to the people.’’ South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, admitting to having violated the people’s trust after his controversial impeachment was overturned last Friday

“The only reaction that I get from discussing personal wealth… is high blood pressure.” One of 33 billionaires in Russia–the most in the world–named in Forbes magazine’s list of the country’s wealthiest. Many of the Russian elite are fearful of becoming targets of law enforcement after being publicly named.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “David Fass”

“This accident is likely to have become tremendous in scale.” South Korean Unification Minister Jeong Se Hyun, on a train explosion in North Korea that killed at least 154 and left thousands injured

“I have put a lot of people through a lot of needless angst and concern about this when I should have definitely rechecked my luggage.” Indiana Rep. John Hostettler, on being briefly detained after he tried to bring a loaded 9mm handgun on a flight

“The book doesn’t have to be a reflection of my age; it’s just a book on its own.” Paris resident Flavia Bujor, 15, on her best-selling novel, “The Prophecy of the Stones”

“As I was telling my husb– As I was telling President Bush.” Condoleezza Rice, at a dinner party hosted by New York Times D.C. bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife, Times reporter Felicity Barringer “It could have been worse. Pete could have been identified as John Kerry.” Cinamon Watson, spokesperson for GOP Senate candidate Pete Coors, on a New York Times story that mistakenly used a picture of Coors to illustrate a story about a Ku Klux Klan member who murdered a black sharecropper

“This is very, very far from a policy of ours. In the rare instance that something is broken in the store, it’s written off as a loss.” Leigh Oshirak, public-relations director for Pottery Barn, on Secretary of State Colin Powell’s reportedly warning the president that “the Pottery Barn rule” applied to Iraq: “You break it, you own it”

“Conservatives have a reputation for being humorless and unhip, but I want people to know that we’re not that scary.” Fox News pundit Julia Gorin, on joining New York Post editorialist Robert George and Marine Cpl. Luke Thomas for “Republican Riot,” a one-night stand-up act at a New York City comedy club

“I stand by her 110 percent and she has my full support.” Montana Sen. Max Baucus, on his wife, Wanda, who was arraigned on a simple assault charge after police said she pummeled another female customer at a Washington, D.C., garden center

“I had two songs in my repertoire that I hammered to death–‘Hey Joe’ and ‘Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.’ I think people used to pelt me with change just to shut me up.” Thomas Jane, star of “The Punisher,” on his days playing the guitar on Hollywood Boulevard

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Alan Morrison”

“Basically, I think they’re making a wrong judgment here, although I would have loved to have that judgment made in my case in 1976.” Renee Richards, formerly Richard Raskind, who played on the women’s tennis tour in the 1970s, on the International Olympic Committee’s decision to allow transsexuals to compete in events as members of their new gender

“I am not exaggerating.” Eugenio Selman Housein, Fidel Castro’s physician, reporting at a “Satisfactory Longevity” conference in Havana that the Cuban president, now 77, could live to be 140 years old

“It reminds me of the good old days in Hollywood. Driving up to the Oscars, then going home empty-handed.” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, at the world premiere of a TV commercial for California agriculture

“He feels that he still did the right thing, and he did it under his conscience and his beliefs. His feelings have not changed.” Maritza Castillo, on a military jury’s conviction of her son, Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia, for desertion after he left his combat unit in Iraq in protest of the war. He faces up to a year in jail.

“It’s not to say our industry loves John Kerry or anything like that. But George Bush, if he’s re-elected, it could be very damaging to our industry.” Dave Manack, associate publisher of E.D. Publications, which publishes Exotic Dancer magazine, on strip clubs’ helping their patrons to register to vote and asking them to support Kerry

“I certainly admired you for kicking my [expletive] in Iowa.” Former Vermont governor Howard Dean, while briefly campaigning for Kerry in Oregon

“He’s gonna come out as Hassle the Hoff–I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humor.” Rapper Ice-T, on producing “Baywatch” star David Hasselhoff’s first hip-hop album

“I thought it was the calorie count.” Virginia Marnell, a customer at Norma’s restaurant in New York’s Parker Meridien hotel, on the restaurant’s new $1,000 omelet, which contains six eggs, a lobster and 10 ounces of sevruga caviar. No one has ordered it yet.

“I was eating bad stuff. Lots of sugar and carbs, junk food all the time. It makes you very irritated.” Singer Avril Lavigne, blaming her angry lyrics on her diet

“I would give myself a C in every movie I’ve ever been in.” Two-time Oscar winner Tom Hanks, on how he’d rate his performances

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “James Whalen”

“Why would they destroy that? Because they want to destroy everything about us. " Mohammed Ahmed Juma, co-owner of the Gaza Strip’s only zoo, which was razed during an Israeli incursion that left more than 40 Palestinians dead and some 45 buildings demolished. Israel says the raids are necessary to close down tunnels used to smuggle weapons from Egypt.

“I am not exaggerating.” Eugenio Selman Housein, Fidel Castro’s physician, reporting at a conference in Havana on “satisfactory longevity” that the Cuban president, now 77, could live to be 140

“If you want to live like [actor] Colin Farrell, you have to pay for it.” Lonnie Hanover, spokesman for the New York City strip club Scores, on an insurance executive who claims he was overcharged to the tune of $28,000 for one night’s entertainment. The man is suing the club.

“We’re old, fat and disorganized.” British legislator Tony Clarke, on why his team of British MPs lost against the Iraqi national team in its goodwill tour of the United Kingdom. The final score was 11-0.

“The infant was contemplating the breasts in rather an adult way.” Greg Lyons, copy consultant to the British Cinema Advertising Association, on its decision to re-edit an ad for next month’s European elections. The video, which shows a bare nipple, was banned in Ireland.

“He’s gonna come out as Hassle the Hoff–I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humor.” Rapper Ice-T, on producing “Baywatch” star David Hasselhoff’s first hip-hop album

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Janice Deaton”

“Please explain who the idiot was who thinks that you can cut the infantry at a time when the pressure on them is enormous.” Bruce George, Britain’s House of Commons Defence Committee chairman, after his government announced that 20,000 Defence civil service and armed-forces personnel would lose their jobs

“I cannot say the world is safer today than it was two, three years ago.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, countering U.S. President George W. Bush’s declaration that he had made the world a safer and more peaceful place

“Move to Israel, as early as possible.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, advising French Jews to leave France immediately on account of increasing anti-Semitism there

“One, I take responsibility. Two, I make no apologies. Three, I stuck to my oath.” Philippines President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, responding to U.S. criticism of her recent decision to recall troops from Iraq to save a Filipino hostage’s life

“Men can’t cook, can’t clean and often they aren’t able to be politicians either.” Alessandra Mussolini, fiery granddaughter of Il Duce, attacking M.E.P. Godfrey Bloom for saying that women don’t “clean the fridge enough”

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand the talk.” Caltech scientist John Preskill, after listening to famed Cambridge astrophysicist Stephen Hawking present a paper claiming to solve the “black hole information paradox.” Hawking’s retreat from his original 1974 theory won Preskill a friendly bet he made with Hawking seven years ago.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-18” author: “Claudio Rowe”

President George W. Bush, announcing plans to send humans back to the moon as early as 2015 and eventually to Mars

“You only need cosigners if your credit is bad.”

Presidential candidate Al Sharpton, on fellow candidate Howard Dean’s bragging about how many blacks and Latinos in Congress had endorsed him

“At any other university, people would have just laughed. But this is Wisconsin. It’s cheese. And this is no laughing matter.”

Xiaochun Li, professor of mechanical engineering at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, on adapting the kind of laser used for eye surgery to slice cheese

“We will find him in his tunnels and liquidate him.”

Israeli Deputy Defense Minister Zeev Boim, on Hamas spiritual leader Ahmed Yassin, following a suicide bombing that killed four Israeli security personnel in Gaza

“Tighter shorts, for example.”

World soccer president Sepp Blatter, on what women’s soccer could do to attract sponsors. His spokesman has since stated that he didn’t mean the remark to be offensive.

“Wear comfortable shoes.”

Former presidential candidate Carol Moseley Braun, on her advice to the next woman running for president

“Al, it’s cold outside.”

House Majority Whip Roy Blunt, on former vice president Al Gore’s delivering a speech on global warming on the coldest day in New York City in decades

“If Les Moonves was a contestant, he would have been fired by the third episode.”

Real-estate mogul Donald Trump, star of the new NBC reality series “The Apprentice,” on his new nemesis, CBS chief Leslie Moonves

“In the spirit of love and togetherness, Michael Jackson would like to invite his fans and supporters to his Neverland Ranch. Please join us Friday, Jan. 16, 2004, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Refreshments will be served. We’ll see you there.”

Invitation to Michael Jackson’s post-hearing party, which was extended to fans who had gathered to hear him plead not guilty to the felony sexual abuse of a cancer-stricken boy

“I think I’ll have hardening of the arteries before I have mad-cow disease.”

Evansville, Ind., resident Cecelia Coan, on eating deep-fried cow-brain sandwiches, a time-honored local delicacy

“Unemployment.”

“Frasier” star Kelsey Grammer, on what’s next for him once his sitcom ends its 11-year run in May

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Lauren Robertson”

U.S. President George W. Bush, announcing plans to send Americans back to the moon as early as 2015 and eventually to Mars

“Maybe he’s still looking for those weapons of mass destruction.”

Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, speculating about why Bush is eager to go to Mars

“We will find him in his tunnels and liquidate him.”

Israel Deputy Defense Minister Zeev Boim, on Hamas spiritual leader Ahmed Yassin, following a suicide bombing that killed four Israeli security personnel in Gaza

“President Chen has landed safely.”

Taiwan analyst Emile Sheng, after President Chen Shui-bian toned down language in a March 20 referendum on how to respond to the missile threat from mainland China. Analysts say the move has defused tension with the United States.

“George Bush is not Hitler. But he would be if he f—ing applied himself.”

Comedian Margaret Cho, at MoveOn.org’s awards gala for the best 30-second ad criticizing the president. The organization had come under fire for two entries that compared Bush to Hitler.

“When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, ‘I want to have sex with you,’ then he does not have to do it… but if he does, he has to use a condom.”

Roman Catholic Cardinal Godfried Danneels, saying condom use may be necessary to avoid committing a sin. The Vatican officially rejects all artificial birth control, including condoms.

“Of all of our letter carriers–and there are more than 20,000–these are the only 10 who have refused to work.”

Canada Post spokesman John Caines, on a probe of Canadian mailmen who refused to deliver mail because of extreme cold

“We’ll start wearing tighter shorts when he starts doing press conferences in his bathing suit.”

Julie Foudy, cocaptain of the U.S. national women’s football team, responding to FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who suggested that female football players wear sexier clothing to bring more attention to the game

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Sade Segraves”

“The Saddam name now symbolizes pessimism, evil, mockery and disappointment all at once.” Saudi Arabian Mohsen al-Harithy, on why he is struggling to change his 14-year-old son’s name from Saddam Hussein

“A tractor-trailer load of Jack Daniel’s is worth a few million dollars on the other side.” U.S. Staff Sgt. David Spence-Sales, on Iraq’s booming bootleg liquor trade with Iran

“A blind man in a room full of deaf people.” Former U.S. Treasury secretary Paul O’Neill, characterizing cabinet meetings with President Bush

“He ran a gas station down in St. Louis.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, referring to Mahatma Gandhi in a speech at a fund-raising event. She later apologized, saying her comment was “a lame attempt at humor.”

“Let’s quit smoking and contribute in good health to the building of a powerful nation.” North Korean health official Choe Ong-ju, in an appeal to TV viewers after leader Kim Jong Il reportedly kicked the habit

“You don’t need a couple of Whoppers. You are too fat. Pull ahead.” A teen prankster to one customer at a Burger King drive-through in Troy, Michigan, according to police. Authorities believe teens hacked into the restaurant’s speaker system.

“[He’s like] Bruce Willis in ‘The Sixth Sense.’ He’s dead and doesn’t know it yet.” Chris Lehane, strategist for U.S. presidential candidate Wesley Clark, on rival candidate Joseph Lieberman

“Crap, crap, crap. I apologize to anybody who bought them and wasted their money.” Pop singer and actress Mandy Moore, on her first two albums

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-28” author: “Gilbert Grace”

Terrorism analyst Brian Jenkins, on why the United States canceled or delayed a string of international flights that raised suspicions

“The issue surrounding the attorney general’s recusal is not one of actual conflict of interest… The issue that he was concerned about was one of appearance.”

Deputy Attorney General James B. Comey Jr., on Attorney General John Ashcroft’s recusing himself from an investigation into the leak of a CIA officer’s identity

“The good news is that it does happen to ordinary people who work on things that happen to work out.”

Tim Berners-Lee, who’s credited with inventing the World Wide Web, on being knighted

“It’s a cheap man’s fireworks.”

Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Chief Jim Robertson, on the sometimes harmful local tradition in Alabama of shooting guns into the air to mark the start of the new year

“All is holding well.”

McDonald’s spokesman Anna Rozenich, on revenues being unaffected by the first U.S. case of mad-cow disease

“I don’t think this incident will change our relations with the United States.”

Iranian President Mohammed Khatami, on U.S. aid to earthquake victims in Bam

“Your stomach is turning, you’re nervous, you’re saying, ‘Oh, my God, I’m in trouble’… I’m still sick. "

New York pilot Richard Langone, on being escorted out of restricted airspace by an armed NYPD helicopter after he got lost and flew his small plane around La Guardia Airport and the Statue of Liberty

“I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004.”

Pat Robertson, predicting on his “700 Club” program that Bush will win the presidential election this year because “he’s a man of prayer and God’s blessing him”

“They do a better job of me than I do.”

Tammy Faye Messner, ex-wife of televangelist Jim Bakker, on hosting a drag-queen event to raise money for the Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina

“The people have spoken… the bastards.”

British M.P. Stephen Pound, on agreeing to try to enact whatever piece of legislation would be voted most popular on a BBC radio station. The winning entry would allow householders to legally kill intruders.

“It’s about time Bob got out there.”

“Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, on taking his month-old son to his first crocodile feeding. Irwin dangled a chicken in his right hand and tucked the baby in his left arm.

“My job description is to be helpful.”

The Rev. Roger Leigh, on his new job in a Gloucester, England, grocery store, offering spiritual and practical advice to customers and staff

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-16” author: “Roberta Mchale”

“My husband is planning ‘an accident’ in my car, brake failure and serious head injury in order to make the path clear for him to marry.” Princess Diana, in a letter written 10 months before she died in a Paris car crash, as reported by the Daily Mirror. The letter was previously published by Diana’s former butler, but the words “my husband” were blacked out.

“I kept it quiet. I turned up in the habit and quickly changed. I wasn’t sure if the class would like it.” Sister Rhonda Rice, a 44-year-old British nun, on earning a black belt in karate

“I know that people seem to pay attention to everything I do. Big or Small. Ridiculous or Sublime. So I am hoping they pay attention to this: I am supporting General Wesley Clark for President.” Madonna, lending her support to Clark in a letter posted on her official Web site

“I changed my mind. I want to go back to acting. Ladies and gentlemen, that is not the truth at all.” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, opening his State of the State address

“He ran a gas station down in St. Louis.” New York Sen. Hillary Clinton, jokingly referring to Mahatma Gandhi. She later apologized, saying the quote was “a lame attempt at humor.”

“For the last 14 years, I’ve consistently heard the statement ‘If Pete Rose came clean, all would be forgiven.’ Well, I’ve done what you’ve asked. The rest is up to the commissioner and the big umpire in the sky.” Baseball legend Pete Rose, admitting in his autobiography that he bet on baseball games he managed

“Please make me look pretty.” Performer Liza Minnelli, to a courtroom sketch artist before a hearing on her divorce proceedings

“Definitely. I mean, we’re just friends.” Jason Alexander, pop idol Britney Spears’s husband for 55 hours, on whether he would have liked to have been married to Spears permanently

“Well, you know, I’m electable if you vote for me.” Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, after a panelist in a Des Moines, Iowa, debate told him that many Democrats don’t think he’s electable

“It’ll also be fun to be Bill and Hillary’s neighbors for a while.” Gennifer Flowers, of Bill Clinton sex-scandal fame, on moving to New York to star in off-Broadway’s “Boobs: The Musical”

“Crap, crap, crap. I apologize to anybody who bought them and wasted their money.” Singer and actress Mandy Moore, on her first two albums

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-11” author: “Helen Siewers”

Mohammed Karimi, resident of Kerman province in Iran, where an earthquake killed more than 30,000, including his wife and 4-year-old daughter

“They certainly didn’t need the almanac to locate the Twin Towers.”

World Almanac senior editor Kevin Seabrooke, after the FBI warned police to be on the lookout for terrorists carrying almanacs

“A check was carried out in each case, and in each case it turned out to be negative.”

A spokesman for the French government, which halted six Paris-Los Angeles fights around Christmas after the FBI identified suspicious passengers. The suspects turned out to include a 5-year-old child, an elderly Chinese woman and a Welsh insurance salesman.

“Today is a day for celebrating freedom… but for us, that means freedom from slavery and freedom from Aristide.”

Port-au-Prince resident Rodney William, on Haiti’s bicentennial, which was marred by clashes between anti-Aristide protesters and police

“I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004.”

U.S. evangelist Pat Robertson, who claimed God told him President Bush will be re-elected this year

“Everything has to go the trial’s way now, and there’s no other way.”

Former Khmer Rouge head of state Khieu Samphan, in a surprise admission that his regime committed genocide in Cambodia. He insisted he was not involved in any killings.

“I feel refreshed.”

Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, after a visit to the Yasukuni shrine, which honors 2.5 million Japanese killed in war. The visit drew protests from South Korea and China, where the shrine is associated with Japanese nationalism and World War II-era atrocities.

“The people have spoken… the bastards.”

British M.P. Stephen Pound, on agreeing to try to enact whatever piece of legislation was voted most popular on a BBC radio station. The winning entry would allow householders to legally kill intruders.

“This year I’m dedicating my dive to myself.”

Italian Maurizio Palmoni, who joined three others in a 16-meter New Year’s dive into the River Tiber in Rome. A fellow diver had dedicated his plunge to world peace and an end to terrorist attacks.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Harold Spigner”

“I dont care if you got a tattoo last week LIE. I dont care if you have a cold. Suck it up. We all do. LIE. Recent peircings? LIE.” Christie Key, a University of Missouri-Columbia sorority blood-drive coordinator, in an e-mail sent to 170 Gamma Phi Beta sisters, urging them to lie about their health to qualify as donors in a campus blood- drive competition. Key is now facing discipline ranging up to expulsion.

“We’ve sent apple, watermelon, grape and peaches-and-cream. We even sent them pina colada.” Kenny Kramm, president of FLAVORx, a Bethesda, Md., medicine-flavoring company, on shipping free flavorings to Iraq to combat the water’s unpleasant odor and taste

“There are no paparazzi here.” Actress Jennifer Lopez, on what she would like to hear God say when she arrives in heaven

“Now is the time, and Iraq is the place, in which the enemies of the civilized world are testing the will of the civilized world. We must not waver.” President George W. Bush, in an address to the nation about his plans for Iraq

“My bet is it’s a joke, because John was very careful about what he did and didn’t do. Everything was with a mind to the future.” Renny Scott, 1966 president of the Yale Republicans, on Yale’s 1966 yearbook listing John Kerry as a member of the group

“This is kind of a wake-up call for everybody.” Adult-movie star Mary Carey, on two stars’ testing positive for the virus that causes AIDS. Many major pornographic-movie producers have shut down sets for 60 days, and at least 45 men and women are under voluntary quarantine.

“But you know, never again. I mean, that’s–it was mad.” Ashley Revell, a 32-year-old London resident, on selling all of his possessions and betting his life savings–$135,300–on a single spinof a Las Vegas roulette wheel. He won.

“Do you think that [producer] Mark Burnett, who’s the best in the world at what he does, had that statement on camera and didn’t put it on television? I know my man; he would have played it about 15 different times.” Donald Trump, on “The Apprentice” contestant Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth’s alleging that another contestant called her a racial slur during filming

“I’m covered with loser dust… I can’t even get an autographed ‘Charmed’ poster for my daughter.” Rocker Courtney Love, on her current stretch of bad press and legal woes

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-20” author: “Mack Herrera”

“We’ve got five people on this commission who are going to vote for George Bush and five people who are going to vote for John Kerry, and it’s not like anybody is hiding that.” Bob Kerrey, a Democratic member of the 9/11 panel, on the leaders of the commission urging members to try to avoid partisanship

“I am overjoyed to be back in my homeland, the true north… strong and censor-free.” Singer Alanis Morissette, on wearing a nude-colored bodysuit adorned with nipples and pubic hair, at Canada’s Juno music awards

WE ARE SORRY THAT OUR PRESIDENT IS AN IDIOT. WE DIDN’T VOTE FOR HIM. Message, written in French, on the washing-instruction tags of Tom Bihn portable bags and backpacks. Bihn, the company’s president, claims the statement refers to him and not George W. Bush.

“We’re trying to explain how things are going, and they are going as they are going. Some things are going well and some things obviously are not going well.” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, at a Pentagon briefing about Iraq

“She was asked to leave as quickly as possible, she was so disruptive. One woman wanted to slug her.” Cheryl Shavers, former under secretary for technology at the Commerce Department, on “Apprentice” contestant Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, who worked at the White House in 2000

“I just long for the day I wake up and find that the Saudi royal family are swinging from lampposts and they’ve got a proper government that represents the people of Saudi Arabia.” Left-wing London Mayor Ken Livingstone, expressing his hopes for the future of Saudi Arabia

“It was divine intervention. I have a great devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe… and had just looked up at the $2 million and said a little prayer to her when I hit the jackpot. Our Lady really looks out for me.” Guadalupe Lopez, Jennifer Lopez’s mother, on hitting a $2.4 million jackpot on an Atlantic City, N.J., slot machine

“If I die and you get the exclusive, you better give the money to my family.” Oscar-winning actress Marisa Tomei, to a wire-service photographer outside the South-Central L.A. home of artist Kenny Scharf, while running from a gunfight that was happening up the street

“My opponent is using the private information in an attempt to intimate that I am a homosexual, which I am not.” Sam Walls, candidate for the Texas House, on staying in the race despite photographs surfacing that show him dressed in women’s clothing.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Jeffery Rollman”

“I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we’ve had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.” Presidential hopeful John Kerry, at a fund-raising event in Washington, D.C.

“When I said goodbye, he said, ‘This is a hell of a way to get viewers’.” NBC News’ Brian Williams, a former emergency medical technician and volunteer firefighter, on helping a man on an airplane who was having difficulty breathing

“Halle Berry stood up there and thanked everybody else but never said Diana Ross. I was nominated for an Academy Award for ‘Lady Sings the Blues.’ If it hadn’t been for what I did, maybe she wouldn’t have been standing there.” Diana Ross, on being hurt that Berry thanked Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne and Diahann Carroll–but not her–at the 2002 Oscars

“Those entrusted with protecting you failed you. And I failed you. We tried hard, but that doesn’t matter, because we failed. And for that failure, I would ask… for your understanding and for your forgiveness.” Richard Clarke, former White House counterterrorism chief, speaking to loved ones of September 11 victims, in the opening of his testimony before the 9/11 commission

“Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere.” President George W. Bush, at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association 60th annual dinner, commenting on a photo of himself searching under furniture

“Do you think I really need the $126?” Pennsylvania state Rep. William Rieger, on jamming his “yea” button in place so he could go home for the day. He admits rigging, but denies he did it to get the per diem.

“Sometimes I lean on my index finger. Sometimes a different finger. Sometimes two at the same time, or, God help me, even the whole hand.” “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell, on resting his middle finger on his cheek moments after he disagreed with fellow judge Paula Abdul on a performer

“It’s not nice to make fun of people with issues.” Exercise guru Richard Simmons, on slapping a 23-year-old passenger on a plane who said, “Hey everybody, it’s Richard Simmons, let’s drop our bags and rock to the ’50s”

“It is good we show our support to Michael Jackson. He gives so much of himself monetarily and through his talent.” Montana Rep. William Lacy Clay, on Jackson’s visiting Washington this week to share his views on world affairs with members of the Congressional Black Caucus

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-06” author: “Sharon Barger”

“Tyler was very excited about seeing the president. He stayed up tossing and turning all night in anticipation, and then, of course, I had to drag him out of bed at 6:30 in the morning.” Orange County chairman Rich Crotty, on his son’s yawning, checking his watch and stretching in order to stay awake as he stood behind President Bush at a televised rally. David Letterman aired the clips in a segment called “George W. Bush Invigorating America’s Youth.”

“The only way I’m going to run is if I’m willing to tolerate the consequences of having two ex-wives. And I’m not!” Recently remarried Bob Kerrey, New School University president and member of the 9/11 commission, on the possibility of running for vice president on a Kerry/Kerrey ticket

“I just want her to have the experience and to know about life, because she is the youngest child and when she was born her parents already had status.” Thailand Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, on having his 17-year-old daughter work at a Bangkok McDonald’s “President Bush said they had no specific information about September 11 and that is accurate, but only because he said September 11.” Sibel Edmonds, a former FBI Turkish-American translator, claiming that U.S. senior officials didn’t know the exact date terrorists would strike, but they knew of Al Qaeda’s plans to attack with aircraft

“We do not believe there is a suspect at large, period.” Madison Assistant Police Chief Noble Wray, on a University of Wisconsin-Madison sophomore who they believe voluntarily lay in a marsh for several days and bought duct tape, rope and a knife to fake her own abduction

“It was pretty steamy stuff for the middle of the afternoon.” FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps, on wanting the FCC to review whether soap operas violate the agency’s indecency prohibitions

“People were climbing over seats and started fighting about stupid stuff.”

Woodlawn High School freshman Melissa Parks, on the arrests of 11 students and two adults after a fight broke out in the Maryland school’s anger-management assembly

“It brings some fun into the debate in the privacy of your own home.” James Wilson, creator of Detroit-based ToiletPolitics.com, which sells toilet tissue printed with the face of either President Bush or Sen. John Kerry

“When I go to the grocery store to buy a quart of milk, I don’t have to buy a package of celery and a bunch of broccoli. I don’t like broccoli.” Sen. John McCain, on his plans to propose legislation that would require cable companies to allow subscribers to pay only for the channels that they want

“I’m right and I know what my principles are. I want my name cleared.” Haskell Wexler, an 85-year-old Phoenix, Ariz., resident, on spending the last 12 years fighting a $31 parking ticket. His latest suit asks for $250,000, which he says he’s spent in legal costs.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “William Pierce”

British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, as Coalition soldiers engaged in fierce battles with Sunni insurgents and Shiite militias across Iraq

“I believe the title was ‘Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States’.”

U.S. national-security adviser Condoleezza Rice, recalling the title of a confidential intelligence briefing given to President George W. Bush a month before the September 11 attacks. Rice had just told the 9/11 commission that the White House did not have specific information about a Qaeda threat in the United States.

“Some countries have been independent for 200 years and still have trouble with democracy. How can you expect to learn it overnight?”

Retired civil servant Mourad Lamari, in Algeria, on the allegations of fraud that arose during the country’s elections last week

“They knowingly trained and armed government soldiers and militia who were going to commit genocide, and they knew they would commit genocide.”

President Paul Kagame, accusing France of having a role in the Rwandan genocide. The world marked the 10th anniversary of the tragedy last week. France denied the accusations.

“In my view it is a little more subtle than [body] piercing.”

Gerrit Melles, director of the Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery, on inserting a piece of jewelry into the mucous membrane of the eyeball. The implants are the country’s newest fashion trend.

“One of them is going to be the right thing… and one is going to be the wrong thing.”

Londoner Ashley Revell, who sold all his possessions, including his clothes, to wear a rented tuxedo and bet everything on a single spin of the roulette wheel on April 11. He was debating whether to put his money on red or black.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Stephen Barnes”

“I wouldn’t propose that any insurance company give them coverage.” Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, when asked if Palestinian Authority Chairman Yasir Arafat and Hizbullah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah could become targets for assassination

“Jacques Chirac is locked in this castle like Sleeping Beauty, cut off from the reality of the country.” Jean-Marc Ayrault, head of the socialist bloc in the French Assembly, after President Chirac’s Conservative Party was defeated in regional elections

“He seems to be enjoying the debate.” U.S. Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, on the interrogation of ousted Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein

“It’s a mistake.” Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, after seven Eastern European states joined NATO. He added that Russia would “continue to maintain a negative attitude.”

“It is very relaxing to work on my cars because, unlike political problems, which sometimes are very difficult to solve, when my car doesn’t start, I know what I have to do.” U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, to high-school students in Germany

“I just want her to have the experience and to know about life, because she is the youngest child and when she was born her parents already had status.” Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, on having his 17-year-old daughter work at a Bangkok McDonald’s

“I didn’t want to do anything rash.” Canadian Raymond Sobeski, who waited nearly a year to claim a $23 million lottery prize

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Robert Calloway”

“Let’s be clear. We’ve always had gay bishops. All I’m doing is being honest about it.” Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, on being the church’s first openly gay bishop

“I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.” Kinky Friedman, best-selling author and front man for the country music group the Texas Jewboys, on running for the governor of Texas

“Who knows? Maybe if you’re really lucky, I might marry you.” Pop artist Britney Spears, addressing the “cute boys” in the audience at the San Diego Sports Arena, a stop on her “Onyx Hotel” tour

“My scheduler has blocked out Emmy Award night.” New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, after filming a cameo for New York-based “Law & Order”

“She called me ‘Mommy.’ She accepts me as her mommy.” Philadelphia resident Luz Cuevas, on being reunited with her daughter, who was kidnapped six years ago and presumed dead after her kidnapper allegedly set fire to Cuevas’s house

“It’s as sick as people who stole things out of the place. The image of firefighters at Ground Zero should not be used for this stuff, for politics.” Firefighter Tommy Fee, of Queens Rescue Squad 270, on President Bush’s campaigning with commercials that use images from the September 11 terrorist attacks

“President Clinton was often known as the first black president. I wouldn’t be upset if I could earn the right to be the second.” Democratic front-runner John Kerry, on his hope to appeal to black voters

“I’ve probably sold 50,000 records in Florida. If 500 of the fans had voted in 2000, it could have been a different election.” NOFX bass player Fat Mike, on organizing the Punkvoter coalition, a group of nearly 200 bands that seek to persuade punk fans to vote against President Bush

“How many points is a 3-pointer worth?” Question from a final exam in University of Georgia’s Principles and Strategies of Basketball. The NCAA has accused Georgia’s assistant basketball coach, who taught the class, of academic fraud.

“[It] bears remarkable similarities to the van Gogh work, complete with never-before-seen spirals of dust swirling across trillions of miles of interstellar space.” Statement from scientists using the Hubble Space Telescope, on capturing an image of a star that bears resemblance to Vincent van Gogh’s famous “Starry Night”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-17” author: “Deidre Davis”

“Apparently, you can’t be friends anymore with somebody who is of a different party… He is a friend of mine. Guilty as charged.” Sen. John McCain, on the backlash surrounding his statement that he’d “entertain” the idea of being John Kerry’s running mate

“If the jump doesn’t kill him, I will.” Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on her husband, George H. W. Bush, who plans to parachute on June 12 to celebrate his 80th birthday

“I think God has a sense of humor. He took a vacation, and when he got back from it he answered all of my prayers at once.” Houston resident Jeffrey McGowen, on his wife Sheryl’s giving birth to two sets of identical twins on the same day

“He had to have scaled the wall. This blows our minds.” Dallas zoo director Rich Buickerood, on a gorilla who escaped from his enclosure and injured four people before being shot to death by police

“You’ve done a nice job decorating the White House.” “Newlyweds” reality-TV star Jessica Simpson, to Interior Secretary Gale Norton

“We need to keep them out of here.” Rhea County, Tenn., Commissioner J. C. Fugate, on introducing a measure that would ban gays and lesbians from living in the county and, if caught, allow them to be prosecuted for “crimes against nature.” It was approved unanimously, but withdrawn two days later because of outcry outside the county.

“That’s none of your business.” John Kerry, to a heckler at a Pennsylvania town meeting who asked him to name the foreign leaders whom Kerry claimed had told him privately that they wished he would beat President Bush. Secretary of State Colin Powell also challenged him to produce the names, but Kerry has refused.

“If any of you plan on getting injured, move outside and get arrested now.” Singer Courtney Love, to a New York City audience, alluding to an incident the night before where she hurled her microphone stand into an audience, hitting a fan in the head. She was charged with assault and reckless endangerment.

“You can’t say it’s just a fluke. You can’t ignore those numbers. There’s something to be read here.” Veteran film producer Mark Johnson, predicting that more movies with religious themes will be made after the unexpected box-office success of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ”

“Every time you walk down the street people are screaming, ‘You’re fired!’ It’s in case I ever decide to do something with it. But nothing’s imminent.” Donald Trump, on applying to trademark the sentence “You’re fired!”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-02-01” author: “James Kesler”

“Make tea, not war.” Protesters in London carrying WANTED posters of Prime Minister Tony Blair and U.S. President George Bush

“I don’t think that can be right, maybe you heard wrongly? That sort of thing happens overseas, not in Taiwan.” Fang Jin-jun, a retired teacher in Taipei, on being told that Taiwan’s President Chen Shui-bian had faced an assassination attempt on the eve of the island’s elections

“The jury’s still out.” Mohamed ElBaradei, director-general of the International Atomic Energy Agency, when asked if Iran had begun the process of building a nuclear bomb

“The Bush-Cheney campaign was putting money into the hands of dictators with that purchase.” Charles Kernagan, head of the National Labor Committee, after a Bush-campaign pullover sold online instigated a controversy because it was made in Burma, whose imports are banned in the United States

“Who won the election?” Jamal Zougam, one of three Moroccans charged with multiple counts of murder in the Madrid attacks, on arriving at court. The ruling Popular Party, which had been favored to win, lost to the Socialists in elections held soon after the bomb blasts.

“It wasn’t bin Laden.” David Mendel, the lawyer for a driver in Montpellier, France, who was convicted for trying to run over a pedestrian he mistook for the Qaeda leader

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-03” author: “Jeanette Vizza”

Comedian Rosie O’Donnell, after marrying her girlfriend in San Francisco in protest of a proposed constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage

“You all look alike to me.”

Florida Rep. Corrine Brown, to Assistant Secretary of State Roger Noriega, a Mexican-American, after calling him and other members of the Bush administration “racist” and “a bunch of white men” during a Washington briefing on the Haiti crisis

“You couldn’t even see and then the furniture would get really hot. You would have to literally close the drapes and you’d still feel warmth in the house.”

Los Angeles resident Jacqueline Lagrone, on the glare from the new Walt Disney Concert Hall, which heats up her nearby condo by at least 15 degrees

“There are times when I see some comely young lady I would love to have as a house pet. But my wife won’t let me, dammit. And I bought her a gun. That shows you how smart I am.”

New Hampshire state Rep. Richard Kennedy, at a public hearing on gay-marriage legislation, in a remark unrelated to the bill

“I hope the irony isn’t lost that I look like Jesus being persecuted.”

Shock jock Howard Stern, on Clear Channel Media’s pulling his show off the air from a half-dozen stations due to racy content

“They did good ministry, they were good to their people, they were kind, compassionate. It was that era of the ’60s… the whole atmosphere out there was, it was OK, it was OK to do.”

Monsignor Richard S. Sniezyk, temporary leader of the Diocese of Springfield, Mass., on the culture surrounding the pedophiliac practices of some priests from the 1960s to the 1980s. He’s since clarified that sexual misconduct in any context is unacceptable.

“The NEA is a terrorist organization.”

Education Secretary Rod Paige, on the 2.7 million-member National Education Association, the country’s largest teachers union. He later apologized.

“There are good stories in that book–it’s worth looking into them.” Mel Gibson, on the possibility of making more Biblical stories after “The Passion of the Christ” “I lied and I lied, and then I lied some more.”

Jayson Blair, the former New York Times reporter fired for fabricating several articles, in the first chapter of his new memoir, “Burning Down My Masters’ House”

“It was like a popcorn popper.”

Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, resident Keith Hanselman, on his wife, Jennifer, giving birth by Caesarean section to six babies within one minute

“While I truly love baseball, my focus and passion now are outreach to the community and youth evangelism.”

Darryl Strawberry, resigning as a player development instructor with the New York Yankees to spend more time on church-related activities

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Valerie Dobbs”

“These guys are the most crooked, you know, lying group I’ve ever seen.” Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, on his Republican critics

“You asked for it.” South Korean Parliament Speaker Park Kwan-Yong, to President Roh Moo Hyun’s supporters, who wept after the president was impeached. Pro-Roh legislators occupied the parliamentary rostrum for three days to stall the vote and had to be dragged away by force.

“We will vote for Putin with both hands, and with our legs, too, if we can.” Koltsovo resident Anatoly Grachyov, on Russia’s March 14 elections, which President Vladimir Putin was expected to win in a landslide

“Having this falsehood printed in our elementary-school textbooks is probably the main cause of the misconception being so widely spread.” The Beijing Times, on a decision by Chinese officials to rid textbooks of the longstanding mythical claim that the Great Wall of China can be seen from space

“We are competing for people’s attention with things like the 9/11 disaster and Kylie Minogue’s rear end, so we are not going to get people in by running a jumble sale.” Russ Hughes, director of worship at St. Luke’s, one of four church parishes in Kent, England, trying to increase their congregations by giving out free tickets to Mel Gibson’s film “The Passion of the Christ”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Teresa Moss”

“The exoskeleton is not going to magically transform people into killing machines.” Homayoon Kazerooni, director of the Robotics and Human Engineering Laboratory at the University of California, Berkeley, on the limitations of the Berkeley Lower Extremities Exoskeleton, designed to help soldiers carry heavy loads for long distances

“I don’t know. It may stink in the eye of the smelling beholder.” Jim Garvin, NASA lead scientist for Mars and lunar exploration, on Mars’s sulfuric odor

“No one is saying there should never be any smoking in the movies. What we’re simply asking for is that smoking be treated by Hollywood as seriously as it treats offensive language.” Stanton Glantz, a professor of medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, on his new study that criticizes glamorous images of smoking in movies that receive PG and PG-13 ratings

“I know what’s going on between you and Charles, and I just want you to know that… Don’t treat me like an idiot.” Princess Diana, in a recently released audiotape she made before her divorce from Prince Charles, describing a confrontation she’d had with Camilla Parker Bowles, her husband’s mistress

“We are unable to find any reason other than the cosmetic motivations by the mother.” Salt Lake City district attorney’s spokesman Kent Morgan, on charging a woman with murder after she ignored numerous warnings that she would need a C-section to save the twins she was carrying. She refused, and one was stillborn.

“I’ve been very well remunerated for my talents over the years, so I really don’t need the public’s money.” Pop star George Michael, on putting all his future songs on the Internet free of charge

“My pants are not as tight anymore, I don’t open my shirt so far… He told me, ‘People aren’t taking you seriously anymore. You’re becoming a caricature of yourself’.” Singer Tom Jones, on being ordered by his son to change his style

“That’s cool… but I don’t know who Cary Grant is.” Actor Frankie Muniz, 18, on being called “the Cary Grant of kid stars”

“He may not be the next American Idol, but he is definitely a star and [an] inspiration to everyone who sings in the shower.” Fuse Music Network president Marc Juris, on signing a contract with William Hung, an “American Idol” castoff who’s gained a cult following

“It’s not true that blonds are vapid, but Owen doesn’t do anything to dispel that myth.” Ben Stiller, on “Starsky & Hutch” costar Owen Wilson

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Clarence Lizardi”

A North Korean Foreign Ministry statement on the nation’s recent missile tests

“I wanted to cuddle him like a kitten and it came out in this gesture.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin, after his controversial kissing of a boy, Nikita, on the stomach before he arrived for a Webcast in Moscow

“Life disappears, and you feel your blood moving in your veins. Either that, or it’s all the whisky.”

Valencia, Spain, resident Julio Bernavides Alvaran , describing the allure of the centuries-old Running of the Bulls that took place last week in Pamplona, Spain

“We believe that the language of force is not effective today.”

Secretary of Iran’s Supreme National Security Council, Ali Larijani , as Western leaders called on Tehran to accept a proposal for negotiations over its nuclear program

“We don’t want to fight anymore and we support peace.”

Major Augusto Araujo , leader of a rebel faction in East Timor, as the group surrendered its weapons as part of an initiative to restore peace in the country

“Africa is ready, Africa’s time has come, Africa is calling. Come to Africa in 2010.”

South African President Thabo Mbeki inviting the world to the next FIFA World Cup in South Africa

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Cleo Johnson”

A North Korean Foreign Ministry statement on the nation’s recent missile tests

“I’ll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really.” Russian President Vladimir Putin , explaining why he was shown on Russian national television approaching a young boy in a group of tourists, lifting his shirt and kissing the boy’s bare stomach

“Life disappears, and you feel your blood moving in your veins. Either that, or it’s all the whisky.”

Valencia, Spain, resident Julio Bernavides Alvarán, describing the allure of the centuries-old Running of the Bulls that took place last week in Pamplona, Spain

“Workers’ wages have been lost, business revenues diminished and basic public services interrupted. This absolutely must not happen again.”

New Jersey Gov. Jon S. Corzine, on the eight-day state government shutdown that resulted from a failure to strike a compromise to balance the state budget

“I fear that we have to accept that we live in an age … when the threat of an attack getting through is very real.” London Police Chief Sir Ian Blair, warning that the threat of a new attack has “palpably increased” since the July 7 subway attacks one year ago

“Our conclusion [is] that there is a rational basis for limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples.”

New York Court of Appeals Judge Robert S. Smith, in the court’s majority decision to uphold a law banning same-sex unions

“You know, the problem with diplomacy: it takes a long time to get something done. If you’re acting alone, you can move more quickly.”

President George W. Bush, at a Chicago press conference, on the challenges of multilateral foreign policy

“I’ve had a great relationship. In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go into a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.”

Delaware Sen. Joseph Biden, on his support from Indian-Americans. He has since said that his comments weren’t meant to offend.

Reader Florence Heilbronner of Montclair, N.J., submitted this quote:

“Things go in cycles. Mother Nature’s a lot older than mankind.” New Hope, Pa., shop owner Michael McManus, on the town’s third flooding in 18 months. McManus, who was prepared this time, salvaged every piece of medieval clothing and “Lord of the Rings” memorabilia from his store in advance of the flood.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Dee Fry”

“If what he said is true, then I want his balls on a platter.” Malika Zidane, mother of French soccer player Zinédine Zidane, who head-butted Italian player Marco Materazzi during the World Cup final, after Materazzi allegedly called Malika, an Algerian immigrant, a “terrorist whore.” Materazzi denied using the phrase.

“Hate language is usually the early-warning signal that could lead to hate-motivated violence. And before that happens, we try to nip it in the bud.” Provincetown, Mass., Town Manager Keith Bergman, concerned about recent reports of gay residents’ slurring heterosexuals by calling them “breeders”

“I’m going to let people make their own decisions.” NFL star Ben Roethlisberger, on his choice not to become a motorcycle-safety advocate. The Steelers quarterback suffered severe facial injuries in June after he crashed his motorcycle into a car without wearing a helmet.

“The sad truth is, discrimination still exists … We must not go back to the dark past.” Rep. John Lewis, Democrat of Georgia, arguing for the renewal of elements of the Voting Rights Act set to expire. The House voted to uphold the provisions, 390-33.

“A few reckless individuals within this administration betrayed that trust.” Former CIA operative Valerie Plame, who, with her husband, Joseph Wilson, filed suit in U.S. District Court against Vice President Dick Cheney, presidential adviser Karl Rove and other administration officials for allegedly disclosing Plame’s identity to the press.

“With 300 years of hindsight, we all certainly can agree that trial by water is an injustice.” Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine, in a letter informally pardoning Grace Sherwood, who, in 1706, was declared a witch after she was cast into a river and floated. Had she sunk and drowned, she would have been found innocent.

“Are we nervous? Yes. Will we stay up tonight? Yes.” Ranch owner Pam Bennett-Wallberg, on her decision to stay behind even as massive wildfires in southern California approached

“Would their clients really think this is some sort of new product line?” Rob Muller , founder of goldmansex.com, after the investment giant Goldman Sachs complained that the site contained “adult” material and was confusing the bank’s customers.

Reader Tom Veirs of Peoria, Ill., submitted this quote: “I think Danica’s pretty aggressive in our cars … especially if you catch her at the right time of the month.” Race-car driver Ed Carpenter, on female racer Danica Patrick’s possible switch from the Indy league to NASCAR. Patrick later said Carpenter’s comments were “pretty funny” and that she did not take offense.

Quotation sources from top to bottom, left to right: New York Times, Daily Mirror (U.K.), Boston Globe, AP, New York Times, L.A. Times, AP, The Washington Post, Reuters, AP

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-07” author: “Rosa Violet”

“We certainly would not want to have the same kind of democracy as they have in Iraq.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, responding to U.S. President George W. Bush’s suggestion that Russia should be more democratic.

“For me this election is fraudulent from start to finish.” Andrés Manuel López Obrador, Mexico’s defeated leftist presidential candidate, demanding a full recount of 42 million ballots before election results are finalized

“People around me didn’t survive. I don’t know how I did.” Shailesh Mhate, a young Mumbai commuter who lived through last week’s terrorists attacks that killed more than 190 people

“If what he said is true, then I want his balls on a platter.” Malika Zidane, mother of French footballer Zinedine Zidane, who says an Italian player called his mother, an Algerian immigrant, a “terrorist whore”

“The plaintiff was not the most upstanding character, but neither was the defendant.” Juror Irma Beard, on why the jury awarded $200,000 in a civil lawsuit to Michael Jackson, while still forcing the King of Pop to pay $900,000 to his former business partner

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “Richard Crist”

“See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hizbullah to stop doing this s–t and it’s over.” President George W. Bush, to British Prime Minister Tony Blair, at a luncheon during last week’s G8 summit in Russia. Neither leader realized that the microphone was still on.

“Mr. Taylor should be afforded the same rights and the same regime that are afforded to all other detained persons [in Sierra Leone].” Karim Khan, lawyer for former Liberian president Charles Taylor, who’s complained of the food quality at the Hague prison where he is being held. Taylor is awaiting trial for war crimes.

“Lose a golf ball, share the Gospel.” Dave Kruse, president of Revelation Products, which produces Christian-themed products. The company prints Bible verses on balls to encourage tee-time fellowship.

“Everyone was pushing and shoving. Women were crying, saying, ‘Here’s my passport, here’s my children. Take my children, just take them’.” Monika Esseily, describing her evacuation from Beirut with her family after the start of Israeli airstrikes

“There are now thousands of couples who are married in Massachusetts … so I continue to feel like we owe them a huge debt.” Attorney Mary L. Bonauto, who represented Julie and Hillary Goodridge in the case that led Massachusetts to legalize gay marriage, on the announcement of the couple’s separation last week

“This is encouraging to note, but a great deal of work still needs to be done.” South African Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, on a report that indicates that the AIDS infection rate in the country is stabilizing. South Africa has the highest number of infected people in the world.

“I don’t think [Texans are] going to want to pay a toll to go across this land.” Leroy Walters, whose 120-year-old farm would become part of the proposed Trans-Texas Corridor, a statewide highway

“She’s a beaming baby.” Actress Leah Remini, dispelling rumors that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s daughter, Suri, doesn’t exist

Reader Paula John of Sarasota, Fla., submitted this quote:

“There aren’t a lot of people who want their name on a bedpan.” Robert Strasser, chairman of the finance committee of the Sarasota Memorial hospital board, on why donors are willing to fund items such as surgical robots or emergency-room expansion but not the more mundane, but necessary, needs of the hospital

Quotation soruces from tp to bottom, left to right: The Washington Post, L.A. Times, Reuters, L.A. Times, CNN, Boston Globe, The Washington Post, AP, E! Online, Sarasota Herald Tribute

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-16” author: “Donna Thornton”

“See, the irony is that what they need to do is to get Syria to get Hizbullah to stop doing this s–t, and it’s over.” U.S. President George W. Bush , speaking candidly to British Prime Minister Tony Blair during the G8 meeting. The conversation was picked up by an open microphone.

“I was a Republican–until they lost their minds.” Former NBA star Charles Barkley, on his current political beliefs

“Pakistan will cooperate to identify the terrorists, if you give us proof.” Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, denying India’s claim that the July 11 Mumbai train bombings, which killed more than 190 people, were the responsibility of terrorists supported by Pakistan

“It’s all related to Germany and how we have to find a solution to the Palestinian problems and Zionism and so on. It’s rather weird.” An unnamed German official, responding to a 10-page letter Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sent to German P.M. Angela Merkel. It’s Ahmadinejad’s second rambling missive to a world leader–he sent an 18-page letter to Bush earlier this year.

Quotation sources from top: Yahoo News, New York Post, Associated Press, BBC, Reuters

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Brigitte Salinas”

“I knew what we were doing was wrong.”

U.S. Petty Officer Melson J. Bacos, one of eight U.S servicemen to be court-martialed in the seizing and shooting of an Iraqi civilian last spring in Hamdania

“He said his only aim was to give a message to the pope and then he would submit himself to the police.”

Turkish Airlines captain Mursel Gokalp, whose flight was hijacked by a man who threatened to blow up the plane if the pilot did not go to Italy

“It is terrible, we feel like Jews during World War II, not like humans.”

Irina, one of 136 Georgians who were deported from Russia amid growing tensions between the two countries

“What I am aiming at is not just memorizing figures, I am thrilled by seeking a story in pi.”

Akira Haraguchi, a 60-year-old Japanese psychiatric counselor who spent 16 hours reciting the number to 100,000 decimal places

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Barbara Young”

“Freedom of action in space is as important to the United States as air power and sea power.” An excerpt from a new National Space Policy signed by President George W. Bush, which asserts the United States’ right to deny access to outer space to anyone it deems “hostile to U.S. interests”

“You can’t be perfect, unfortunately, when something is this big, but their hearts were in it, and they did a very good job.” New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on recovery workers who searched ground zero for human remains after 9/11. Last week workers found more remains while excavating a nearby manhole.

“There was … a countdown to the actual event–10, 9, 8 … then the crash.” Fulton County, Ga., District Attorney Paul Howard , on a teenage girl’s text messages before attempting suicide. The teen survived after driving into another car, but killed a woman and injured a girl.

“We are constantly adjusting our tactics … It’s tough.” President Bush, on why the U.S. military may consider a change of strategy in Iraq in response to spreading sectarian violence

“We were friends and … loved each other like brothers.” The Rev. Anthony Mercieca, on his alleged relationship with disgraced former congressman Mark Foley when Foley was a boy. Foley’s lawyer has said his client had been abused by a “clergyman,” but Mercieca–who admitted to skinny-dipping with Foley–denies the relationship was sexual.

“Say hello to your president. He really surprised us.” Russian President Vladimir Putin, to Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, apparently referring to recent sexual-assault allegations against Israeli President Moshe Katsav. A Kremlin spokesman said Putin’s meaning was lost in translation.

“[He] will be defending these allegations vigorously.” A statement by Paul McCartney’s lawyers, in response to reported divorce-court documents alleging McCartney abused his estranged wife

“Everybody said I don’t hit, and I proved them wrong.” Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina, whose homer won the National League championship for St. Louis

Reader Susan Paulison of Broken Arrow, Okla., submitted this quote:

“People might think it’s kind of weird–crazy.” Bill Crozier, Republican candidate for Oklahoma state superintendent of schools, on his proposal for students to use thick textbooks, “until police get there,” to stop bullets in the event of a school shooting. Crozier also suggested that book manufacturers consider using Kevlar covers.

Quotation sources from top to bottom: AP, The Washington Post, Mayor’s Weekly Radio Address, AP (7)

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Robert Haag”

Hizbullah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, in his first public appearance since July, boasting that his group already has more than 20,000 rockets

“I still had a ham sandwich for lunch. And my mother made great pork chops.”

Virginia Sen. George Allen, after confirming that part of his maternal ancestry is Jewish. Allen’s ethnicity has been the subject of speculation since he made an allegedly racist remark–which he has since apologized for–when referring to one of his challenger’s volunteers last month.

“This represents a milestone for CDC and for our national health protection.”

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention director Julie L. Gerberding, on a new federal recommendation that all people between 13 and 64 be routinely tested for HIV. If implemented, HIV tests would be part of normal blood tests, though patients could chose to opt out.

“Boy, if that’s not a little embarrassing.”

Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, after collapsing during a welcome-home ceremony for the Atlantis space-shuttle crew. Officials said the astronaut was not yet readjusted after 12 days of zero gravity.

“There is no doubt that the integrity and the letter and the spirit of the Geneva Conventions have been preserved.”

Sen. John McCain, of Arizona, after congressional Republicans reached an accord with the White House–in which some Bush-administration demands were rejected–on legislation concerning the treatment and interrogation of suspected terrorists

“I continue to work and write.”

Scholar Noam Chomsky, confirming he’s alive, after Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez said during a United Nations speech that he regretted not meeting Chomsky before his death. Chávez also referred to President George W. Bush as “the devil.”

“I do not feel responsible for setting a trend towards models who look anorexic.”

Designer Giorgio Armani, in an editorial defending his use of skinny runway models to promote his clothing

“The president’s. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office.” Actress Scarlett Johansson, on whose life she would like to “step into for the day”

“I took the opportunity to bite the panda’s back.”

Beijing Zoo visitor Zhang Xinyan, on fending off an attacking panda he tried to hug

Reader Lawrence Crumb of Eugene, Ore., submitted this quote:

“It wouldn’t hurt if the pope continued to make controversial comments to grab the attention of the press.”

Former Hewlett-Packard chairwoman Patricia Dunn, on what might help her return to normal life amid the backlash over an HP internal probe in which board members and journalists were spied on. Dunn has since resigned.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Micheal Mendez”

White House spokesman Tony Snow, denying claims in a new book–by former White House official David Kuo–that Bush staffers used conservative Christians for political gain but privately ridiculed them as “nuts,” “ridiculous” and “goofy”

“Escape from the unbelieving army and join the winning side.”

" Azzam the American ,” in a video statement encouraging people to join Al Qaeda. Officials say “Azzam” is Adam Yahiye Gadahn–a 28-year-old former Californian and convert to Islam–and have charged him with treason.

“[We should] get ourselves out sometime soon because our presence exacerbates the security problems.”

British army chief Richard Dannatt, on the effect British troops are having in Iraq. After his remarks caused a political storm, Dannatt said they were taken out of context, saying, “I’m a soldier. We don’t do surrender.”

“When you’re loaded … the balance of how you see things–it comes out the wrong way.”

Mel Gibson, in an interview with Diane Sawyer, explaining his controversial tirade against Jews last summer after being pulled over for drinking and driving. He said he is “ashamed” of his remarks.

“If the United States continues to … apply pressure on us in various forms, we will have no choice but to take physical steps to deal with that.”

Kim Yong-nam, North Korea’s second-most senior leader, responding to threats of punitive measures following the country’s reported nuclear-weapons test

“He … was just totally enthused about it, talking like a kid getting his first car at 16.”

Yankees bullpen coach Joe Kerrigan, on pitcher Cory Lidle’s excitement about taking up flying. Lidle was killed when his small plane crashed into a Manhattan high-rise last week.

“The artist’s role is to disturb.”

Singer Barbra Streisand, on her onstage sketch with a George W. Bush impersonator that drew jeers from some audience members. Streisand later apologized for yelling “Shut the f— up” at a heckler during the sketch.

“It could be the last game they ever see.”

University of Maryland physician David Jerrard, on his study that found Maryland men delay trips to the ER in order to finish watching sporting events

“The Wild West feel of YouTube is … slipping away.”

YouTube enthusiast Richard Stern, on the video site since it reached a sale agreement with Google for $1.65 billion

Reader Rhonda Hughes of Pleasant Hill, Calif. submitted this quote:

“We do not have a smoking ‘cow’ at this point.” Kevin Reilly, an official at the California Department of Health Services, after a matching E. coli bacteria strain was found in cattle feces near a farm that is a suspected source of the contaminated spinach that killed several and sickened dozens in recent weeks

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “John Pagan”

An excerpt from a U.S. government intelligence report, some of which was declassified by President George W. Bush after parts of it leaked to the press

“We’re shooting ourselves in the foot each time.”

U.N. Sudan envoy Jan Pronk, insisting the United Nations should change strategy in Darfur by reinforcing the African Union mission instead of waiting for an unlikely government approval to allow U.N peacekeeping troops in the region

“We vow to God never to recognize Israel, even if we all die.”

Hamas lawmaker Mushir al-Masri, attending a rally in the Gaza Strip that drew tens of thousands of Hamas supporters

“Some people … speak loud and have a more flamboyant attitude. But I think I have my own charisma.”

South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki Moon, the leading candidate to succeed U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, justifying his soft-spoken diplomatic style

“Mozart is enjoying all this, from somewhere beyond.”

Former German Culture minister Michael Naumann, on the security precautions to be taken if a Berlin opera house resumes a production of Mozart’s “Idomeneo”–which depicts the severed head of the Prophet Muhammad

“His only indulgence will be a piece of his favorite ice-cream cake. He’s even delayed his planned album of sexy love songs.”

A spokesman for former Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, who told his TV stations not to report on his 70th birthday

Quotation sources top to botom: Associated PRess, Associated Press and Jerusalem Post, International Herald Tribune, New York Times (2), Daily Mail

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-09” author: “Desirae Stanley”

An excerpt from a U.S. government intelligence report, some of which was declassified by President George W. Bush after parts of it leaked to the press

“I’m standing up for myself and standing up for women.”

New York state attorney-general candidate Jeanine Pirro, on staying in the race despite being under investigation for discussing a plan with a former NYPD official to spy on her husband, who she thought was cheating

“It is the right of the Iraqi government, as it combats terrorism, to silence any voice that tries to harm the national unity.”

Habib al-Sadr, of the government-financed Iraqi Media Network, on new laws that criminalize speech that “publicly insults” the government or its officials. Some of the laws are verbatim copies of those that existed under Saddam Hussein’s penal code.

“I also think it’s amusing in a way because I feel like I’m on some reality television show on MTV … lol.”

Cardinal Sean O’Malley , the archbishop of Boston, using the Internet shorthand for “laughing out loud” in a recent Web posting on why he enjoys blogging

“They have taken these e-mails out of context.”

Jason Kello, spokesman for Rep. Mark Foley of Florida, who resigned amid questions over illicit e-mails and instant messages he reportedly wrote to underage congressional pages

“We’re dealing with incomplete information, and facts that change.”

Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle, on why an initial police report said football star Terrell Owens attempted suicide by a drug overdose, which Owens denied. Police now say the overdose was “accidental.”

“What he represents is a country of Boratastan, a country of one.”

Kazakh Embassy Press Secretary Roman Vassilenko, on comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Borat, a Kazakh journalist. Cohen, while in character, was denied entry to the White House, where he planned to invite “Premier George Walter Bush” to a screening of his new movie.

“You know where he is? You lead on, we’ll follow you.”

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, responding to Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show,” after Stewart asked the leader where Osama bin Laden is

“My demographic audience is so involved in [his] music.”

Martha Stewart, on why rapper Eminem should appear on her TV show

Reader Ryan Christiansen of Fargo, N.D., submitted this quote:

“The squirrels will be back. For every one you take out, two more will come in.” Wildlife rehabilitator Norma Campbell, opposing a recently announced initiative in Mountain View, Calif., to capture and euthanize park squirrels. There have been six squirrel attacks on humans in the area since May.

Quotation sources from top to bottom: International Herald Tribune, Newsday, New York Times, Boston Globe, Associate Press (2), Reuters (2), Associate Press, KNTV-TV

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Russell Beale”

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, referring to U.S. President George W. Bush while making the sign of the cross, at the U.N. General Assembly

“We haven’t even begun rearming.”

Hizbullah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, in his first public appearance since July, during which he claimed his group still has more than 20,000 rockets

“I took the opportunity to bite the panda’s back.”

Beijing zoo visitor Zhang Xinyan, on fending off an attacking panda he tried to hug

“Boy, if that’s not a little embarrassing.”

Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, after collapsing twice during a welcome-home ceremony for the Atlantis space-shuttle crew. Officials said the astronaut was not yet readjusted after 12 days of zero gravity.

“I do not feel responsible for setting a trend towards models who look anorexic.”

Designer Giorgio Armani, in an editorial defending his use of skinny runway models to promote his clothing

“The president’s. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office.”

Actress Scarlett Johansson, on whose life she would like to “step into for the day”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Jesus Naquin”

Christopher R. Hill , U.S. assistant secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific affairs, on North Korea’s announced plans to test nuclear weapons

“When we heard the name list … the eyes rolled back in my head.”

Former FBI Agent Jack Cloonan, on the secret list used to screen airline passengers for terrorists–recently obtained by members of the press–which includes such unlikely attackers as the president of Bolivia and some of the dead 9/11 hijackers

“I think it’s a responsibility of our government to determine: is there a change of course we should take?”

Republican Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee John Warner , after his recent visit to Iraq, where he said the situation there was “drifting sideways”

“I didn’t take it to heart. How would we feel about the French doing a movie about George Washington with French actors?”

Actress Kirsten Dunst, on her new film “Marie Antoinette” being booed earlier this year at the Cannes Film Festival

“They were just little people. They never got a chance to do anything.”

Funeral onlooker Benjamin Nieto, as he watched the horse-drawn procession for four of the five Amish girls killed in a schoolhouse shooting in Pennsylvania

“Ultimately … the buck stops here.”

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, paraphrasing Harry Truman, while accepting responsibility for any previous failures to investigate sexually explicit Internet messages reportedly sent from former Florida Rep. Mark Foley to teenage congressional pages

“We may not strike down a law simply because we think it unwise.”

Justice William McGuiness, in his majority opinion for a California court of appeal, explaining why the court upheld a state ban on same-sex marriage

“It’s an actual heart, 3-D, not in any kind of gel or formaldehyde.” The Rev. Charles Mangano , on the mysteriously preserved heart of 19th-century St. John Vianney being brought to his Long Island parish

“I asked [the ump] if he saw any pitches, because I didn’t.”

Yankee Alex Rodriguez , on the Tigers’ Joel Zumaya’s 101mph fastball

Reader Jane Davison of Tustin, Calif., submitted this quote:

“We fired some people. If people change in the seat next to you, it focuses your mind.”

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes, on recent personnel changes made at the network in response to a decline in this year’s ratings. Fox News celebrated its 10th anniversary, and remains the dominant cable news network.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-10” author: “James Markle”

“Say hello to your president. He really surprised us.” Russian President Vladimir Putin , to Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, apparently referring to recent sexual-assault allegations against Israeli President Moshe Katsav. A Kremlin spokesman said Putin’s meaning was lost in translation.

“You may get hurt.” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad , warning Europe that its support for Israel is fueling anger in the Middle East

“We cannot continue the farce of a humanitarian exchange [of prisoners] with the FARC.” Colombian President Alvaro Uribe , discontinuing efforts to come to a prisoner-swap arrangement with the rebel guerrilla group FARC, after blaming the organization for a car bombing in Bogota that injured 10

“The poorest residents have been moved because the Yamuna had to be cleaned up anyway.” Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit , justifying the emptying of the capital’s slums in preparation for the Commonwealth Games, which the city will host in 2010

Quotation sources from top to bottom: Associated Press (2), L.A. Times, Reuters, BBC

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-23” author: “Pauline Allen”

“At this point, there is nothing to implicate bagged salad.” David Acheson, of the Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition at the FDA, after an E. coli outbreak traced to bagged spinach killed one person and sickened dozens more. Acheson was asked if consumers should avoid “bagged salads” as well as “bagged spinach.”

“You won’t need the U.N. You will simply need men with shovels and … headstones.” Actor George Clooney, to the U.N. Security Council, on what will happen if replacement peacekeepers are not installed in the war-torn region of Darfur by the end of the month

“I don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t; sailed home, probably.” “Harry Potter” author J. K. Rowling, in a posting on her Web site, on persuading New York airport-security officials last month to let her take her Potter manuscript aboard as carry-on luggage; the heightened security was due to the foiled airline-terror plot

“I have made serious mistakes and am sorry for them.” Ohio Rep. Bob Ney, in a statement, upon pleading guilty to corruption charges in connection with disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Ney, who had repeatedly denied wrongdoing, is the first federal lawmaker to plead guilty in the far-reaching congressional investigation.

“It looks like an effort to revive the mentality of the Crusades.” Turkish politician Salih Kapusuz, responding to a speech by Pope Benedict XVI that cited an obscure text by Byzantine Emperor Manuel II, which characterizes some of the teachings of Islam as “evil and inhuman.”

“There were no candles. It was a well-lighted dinner, with electricity-based lighting.” State Department spokesman Sean McCormack, dismissing rumors that a recent dinner shared by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay during Rice’s visit to Nova Scotia was romantic in nature

“He’s built like a linebacker.” Dr. David Kalla, on delivering 14-pound 13-ounce newborn Stephon Hendrix Louis-Jean in Connecticut

“Violence is not sexy.” Jennifer Bayer, of Pereira, Colombia, on a movement where girlfriends and wives of gang members refuse to have sex until their significant others cease all violence

Reader Martin Leung of Redondo Beach, Calif., submitted this quote:

“We sure appreciate you answering that age-old question from Mission Control–how many astronauts does it take to unscrew a bolt. Apparently, it takes three.” Pam Melroy, of Mission Control, to astronauts stymied by a stuck bolt while performing work on the International Space Station

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-26” author: “Jess Brecht”

“The report is a devastating indictment.” Sen. Carl Levin, of Michigan, on a Senate intelligence committee report that concluded that Saddam Hussein was “distrustful of Al Qaeda”–not an ally of the terrorist group, as the Bush administration has claimed

“Cuban, Puerto Rican, they are all very hot.” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger , making off-the-cuff remarks that were caught on tape.

“The last thing you want is for the guy who says things are safe to be killed.” Venomous-fish expert Leo Smith, on the death of “crocodile hunter” Steve Irwin, who died after being stung in the heart by a stingray while he was filming a documentary at the Great Barrier Reef off the Australian coast

“Do we expect to find a field on the scale of Saudi Arabia? Probably not.” Energy analyst Phil Flynn, of Chicago-based Alaron Trading, on Chevron’s discovery of an oilfield in the Gulf of Mexico that could raise U.S. reserves by 50 percent. Experts say the field may be the largest in the United States since the discovery of oil in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Paul Lamar”

“Once again, we face similar challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism.” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, in a speech that compared critics of the administration to those who sought to appease Hitler in the buildup to World War II. His remarks drew sharp criticism from Senate Democrats.

“I’m cured for now.” Melanoma survivor Mark Origer, on scientists’ treating his cancer with a new therapy that infuses patients with blood cells that have been genetically altered into cells that attack tumors. The National Cancer Institute, which sponsored the experiment, called it the first real success in cancer gene therapy.

“To the best of our knowledge, it’s the first time we’ve encountered this problem in flight.” Air Canada Jazz spokeswoman Manon Stuart, on one of the airline’s pilots being locked out of the cockpit–minutes before landing–after returning from the bathroom. The crew removed the door from its hinges and the pilot landed the plane safely.

“You do your best with what you have in the moment.” Boulder County, Colo., District Attorney Mary Lacy, defending her investigation of John Mark Karr, who confessed to killing, in 1996, JonBenet Ramsey. A negative DNA test prompted Lacy to drop the case against Karr.

“The success of our system will be an example for other states and nations to follow.” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, supporting a bill that would give his state the toughest greenhouse-gas-emissions laws in the nation to fight global warming

“He advised our team that he got approximately two hours of sleep [between shifts].” National Transportation Safety Board member Debbie Hersman, on the only air-traffic controller on duty the morning Comair Flight 5191 crashed in Kentucky, killing 49 people

“It’s clearly a new age.” Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh, outraged over a new British mock-documentary that depicts the fictional assassination of President George W. Bush

“Our future is wonderful.” Sci-fi author Ray Bradbury, 86, on his belief that humans will one day explore Mars and other planets

Reader Dana Kubanda of Bryan, Ohio, submitted this quote: “I will fight for the right of the nonbeliever to not believe. Because we all have the right to be wrong.” Ohio gubernatorial candidate Ken Blackwell, responding to criticism that he is too involved with the religious right. He was endorsed by a group called Clergy for Blackwell for his stance against abortion and same-sex marriages.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-24” author: “Barbara Poole”

Former U.S. secretary of State Colin Powell

“It looks like an effort to revive the mentality of the Crusades.”

Turkish politician Salih Kapusuz, responding to a speech by Pope Benedict XVI that cited an obscure text by Byzantine Emperor Manuel II, which characterizes some of the teachings of Islam as “evil and inhuman.”

“He walks, he sings, and he is even ready to play baseball.”

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez , claiming that Cuban leader Fidel Castro is recovering well following the intestinal operation he underwent in July

“Please help save African babies as you are helping to save the environment. African babies do not have a powerful movement.”

Arata Kochi, director of the World Health Organization’s malaria program, urging environmental groups not to protest the use of DDT inside African homes as a mosquito repellant

“You won’t need the U.N. You will simply need men with shovels and bleached white linen and headstones.”

Actor George Clooney addressing the U.N. Security Council, on what will happen if more peacekeepers are not sent to Darfur soon

Quotation sources, top to bottom: USA Today, Guardian Unlimited, Agence France-Presse, The Washington Post, Associated Press

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Mohammad Spencer”

“I thought every day about how I’d screwed up.” Former deputy secretary of State Richard Armitage, on revealing the identity of former covert CIA agent Valerie Plame to a journalist in 2003. Armitage said he didn’t come forth sooner because Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald requested that he refrain from discussing the case.

“Everyone that I’ve talked to says ‘Hurray for Susan’.” Annie Warnock, neighbor of Portland, Ore., nurse Susan Kuhnhausen, who, with her bare hands, strangled an intruder she found armed with a hammer in her home

“I should have been more vigilant. I should have been more watchful. I should have been a lot of things, I guess.” Former Illinois governor George Ryan, shortly before being sentenced to six and a half years in prison for accepting bribes in exchange for steering state business to friends

“The report is a devastating indictment.” Sen. Carl Levin, of Michigan, on a Senate intelligence committee report that concluded that Saddam Hussein was “distrustful of Al Qaeda”–not an ally of the terrorist group, as the Bush administration has claimed

“The last thing you want is for the guy who says things are safe to be killed.” Venomous-fish expert Leo Smith , on the death of “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, who died after being stung in the heart by a stingray while he was filming a documentary at the Great Barrier Reef off the Australian coast

“We really messed this one up.” Mark Zuckerberg, founder of the social-networking site Facebook, in a statement on the addition of a “News Feed” feature that automatically alerts users when any of their “friends” change details of their online profiles. Citing privacy concerns, hundreds of thousands of users voiced objections on the site.

“It made me cringe.” California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, on reading a quote in which he said Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia had a “hot” temperament due to her ethnicity. Garcia said she did not take offense.

“She exhibited the symptoms of intoxication.” LAPD spokesman Irv Isabella , on Paris Hilton, who was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence. Hilton’s publicist denied she was intoxicated.

Reader Sidney Allen of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, submitted this quote: “My wife is 6 foot 3 and weighs 300 pounds. If there is somebody that thinks they can control her, have at it. I have tried for 11 years and haven’t been able to.” Snyder, Okla., Police Chief Tod Ozmun, who resigned amid a local uproar over nude pictures his wife, Doris, posted of herself on the Internet. In some of the photos, she posed with the American flag.

Quotation Sources From Top To Bottom, Left To Right: Associated Press, Cbs News, Associated Press, Chicago Sun-Times, Associated Press, New York Times, Facebook.Com, Los Angeles Times, Cnn, Associated Press

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Gregory Richmond”

“The firm commitments we have received … have given me confidence that we can begin to put together the kind of force that the Security Council has authorized.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, on the commitment of European governments to a U.N.-sponsored peacekeeping force in southern Lebanon

“It may be a disaster, it could be fantastic, but you don’t know until you try.” Musician Elton John , on his plans to cross over into the hip-hop world

“They have to accept the reality of a powerful, peace-loving and developed Iran.” Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, on the West’s anticipated reaction to Iran’s refusal to suspend its nuclear enrichment program as demanded by the United Nations Security Council

“We fell into each other’s arms … I recognized her from her way of being, her face … I always thought she was alive.” Brigitta Sirny, the mother of kidnapped Austrian school girl Natascha Kampusch, describing how she identified her lost daughter, who had been missing since 1998. The girl escaped her captor and was found wandering northeast of Vienna last week.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-01” author: “Gwen Williams”

“Gaza is suffering under the yoke of anarchy and the swords of thugs.” Hamas spokesman Ghazi Hamad, blaming local problems on his fellow Palestinians

“To hell with their institutions.” Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador, railing against the country’s top electoral court, which recently ruled against his claims of vote-rigging

“It’s destined to be Michael Moore’s favorite film at the festival,” Canadian film critic Richard Crouse, on “Death of a President,” a British mock documentary that imagines the assassination of President Bush. It premieres Sept. 11 at the Toronto International Film Festival.

“I am almost crying from happiness.” Gro Balas, chairwoman of the Munch Museum board, on the recovery of the Edvard Munch painting “The Scream.” Masked gunmen stole the painting from the museum in Oslo two years ago.

“This is going to be a big night.” Rocker Dave Grohl, on his pledge to buy beers for two rescued miners in Australia who listened to Grohl’s band, the Foo Fighters, while trapped for two weeks underground

Quotation sources from top to bottom: New York Times, Reuters, AP, BBC, AP (2)

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “George Holcomb”

“The firm commitments we have received … have given me confidence that we can begin to put together the kind of force that the Security Council has authorized.” U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, on the commitment of European governments to a U.N.-sponsored peacekeeping force in southern Lebanon

“I have with great regret concluded that I should resign from the board.” Citigroup executive Robert E. Rubin, in a letter announcing his resignation from the board of Ford Motor Co. to avoid potential conflicts. The bank will advise Ford’s expected steps to restructure.

“As everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzoh ball or kosher salami.” Comedian Jackie Mason, in an affidavit seeking a court injunction to stop Jews for Jesus, a religious group aimed at converting Jews to Christianity, from printing his image on the cover of its pamphlets.

“Our captors are treating us well. We love you all … Hope to see you soon.” Steve Centanni, one of two FOX News journalists kidnapped while reporting from Gaza, in a recently released video

“You have to understand you are destroying their lives.” Paul Rieckhoff, founder of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, responding to the Marine Corps’s announcement that it would begin recalling reservists to involuntary active duty in groups as large as 2,500

“The only thing common is that [Hitler] wanted to conquer the world by using force, and I would like to do that by the food and service I provide.” Punit Sabhlok, owner of Hitler’s Cross, a new restaurant in Mumbai, India. He says the name and swastika logo are purely coincidental and have no connection to Nazism.

“I’m just grateful that I’m here alive.” Jesús Vidana, one of three Mexican fishermen who say they survived nine months adrift in the Pacific Ocean. They offered to take a lie-detector test to prove the story.

“His recent conduct has not been acceptable.” Viacom CEO Sumner Redstone, on the end of Tom Cruise’s 14-year studio contract

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Meagan Arceneaux”

“A low-intensity civil war and a de facto division of Iraq is probably more likely at this stage than a successful and substantial transition to a stable democracy.” Outgoing British ambassador to Iraq William Patey, in a leaked confidential memo to high-level U.K. officials

“It was for a good reason.” Congolese citizen Besisa Mbaguna, on walking barefoot two and a half hours to participate in Congo’s first multiparty election in 46 years

“We know Comandante Fidel will recover soon and will be back with us soon.” Cuban Health Minister José Ramón Balaguar, on 79-year-old Cuban President Fidel Castro’s temporarily passing power to his brother Raúl

“Our relations are definitely much more important than potatoes.” French Embassy spokesperson Agnes Vondermuhll, on a U.S. congressional vote that officially changed “freedom fries” back to “french fries” in Capitol Hill cafeterias

“He’s been a very bad goy.” The New Republic literary editor Leon Wieseltier, to New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, over Mel Gibson’s remarks about Jews during his DUI arrest

Quotation sources from top to bottom: BBC, New York Times, BBC, Reuters, Washington Times, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-13” author: “Matthew Warner”

“Our relations are definitely much more important than potatoes. French fries are back in the Capitol, back on the presidential dinner menu, and our relations are back on track.” French Embassy spokesperson Agnes Vondermuhll, on a congressional vote that officially restored “freedom fries” to “french fries”

“That’s a sight I’ll never forget. I knew there was no good going to come out of it.” Bermuda angler Alan Card, on an 800-pound marlin’s jumping into his boat and spearing his son, Ian, in the chest during a fishing tournament. After an emergency operation, Ian was in stable condition.

“It was for a good reason.” Congolese citizen Besisa Mbaguna, on walking barefoot for two and a half hours to participate in Congo’s first multiparty election in 46 years. There were some 9,700 candidates on the ballot for 500 National Assembly seats and 33 for president.

“We know Comandante Fidel will recover soon and will be back with us soon.” Cuban Health Minister José Ramón Balaguer, on 79-year-old Cuban President Fidel Castro’s temporarily passing power to his brother Raúl after leading the nation for 47 years

“Now I consider myself the winner.” Spanish bicyclist Oscar Pereiro, runner-up to Floyd Landis in the Tour de France, after Landis’s second doping sample tested positive for synthetic testosterone. The decision of whether to strip Landis of his title rests with the International Cycling Union.

“These are the two monsters we’ve been hunting.” Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon, on the arrest of the men Arizona police say are responsible for 24 serial-shooter crimes since May 2005

“The prospect of a low-intensity civil war and a de facto division of Iraq is probably more likely at this stage than a successful and substantial transition to a stable democracy.” Outgoing British Ambassador to Iraq William Patey, in a leaked confidential memo to high-level U.K. officials

“You play to win. Anything less than that is losing.” Washington Nationals first baseman Nick Johnson, on baseball strategy

Reader Serena Castels of Lakewood, Ohio, submitted this quote:

“You can’t pour vodka on a turnip and have it say anti-Semitic remarks.” Gary J. Malone, chief of psychiatry at Baylor All Saints Medical Hospital in Ft. Worth, Texas, in response to Mel Gibson’s claim that alcohol was the cause of the anti-Semitic statements he made after being arrested for drunken driving

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-09” author: “Jacqueline Grant”

“The Iraqi prime minister is an anti-Semite.” U.S. Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean , criticizing Nuri al-Maliki during his visit to Washington last week for not condemning Hizbollah’s attacks on Israel.

“We know you are involved in girls’ education. Unless you stop we will kill your daughters and we will kill your family.” Unsigned note left outside an Afghan school a few days before it was hit by rockets.

“Like, did you know that American pillow-cases are a different size than German ones are?” Wal-Mart Germany’s CEO David Wild , citing mistakes that led the American retail giant to permanently close all of its 85 stores in Germany.

“Our little neighbors to the north should not fear. I am not planning to be in office at that age.” Cuban leader Fidel Castro , 79, joking that he will not remain in power when he is 100 years old. His birthday is August 13.

“We are well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so-called ’exhaustion’.” Morgan Creek Productions CEO James G. Robinson , in a letter chastising starlet Lindsay Lohan for her behavior while filming the company’s upcoming movie “Georgia Rule.”

Quotation sources from top: Associated Press, BBC, The Washington Post, Deutsche Welle, Reuters, Associated PRess

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “John Tucker”

“Wow!” Rusty Yates, after his ex-wife, Andrea, was found not guilty by reason of insanity; in 2001, she had drowned the couple’s five children. Rusty Yates supported the reversal of a 2002 guilty verdict, saying, “[Andrea] was psychotic. That’s the whole truth.”

“I think it’s fair to say we were not dealing with a great criminal mind here.” U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie, in a statement on prison inmate Donald Ray Bilby, who pleaded guilty last week to mailing bomb and anthrax threats to the FBI and Secret Service. Bilby included his full name and inmate number in the letters.

“The man is bringing up a lot of pain … He is harming families all over again, whether he did it the first time or not.” Shirley Winfrey, whose daughter, Lisa Lowe, was one of 48 people whom prison inmate Robert Charles Browne recently confessed to murdering between 1970 and 1995 across the country.

“The target is not to totally dismantle Hizbullah.” Israeli Public Security Minister Avi Dichter, in what political analysts have called an apparent softening of initial Israeli statements that promised to “change the rules of the game” and “break” Hizbullah.

“I can’t think of a better way to use Casey’s insurance money.” War protester Cindy Sheehan, in a newsletter announcing that she had bought five acres of property near President George W. Bush’s Crawford, Texas, home with insurance money she received after her son, Casey, was killed in Iraq in 2004.

“I want to fight in a war like World War II. I want to fight an enemy. And this, out here … it’s a faceless enemy.” Sgt. Christopher Dugger, on fighting insurgents in Iraq.

“This is unprecedented.” David Jones, spokesman for the Stanislaus County, Calif., Office of Emergency Services, on 29 heat-related deaths reported in his county in just one day.

“I’m more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life.” ‘N Sync band member Lance Bass , announcing that he is gay.

Reader Jennifer Liu, of Long Valley, N.J., submitted this quote:

“We’re not saying that an inflatable man is the only answer, but we do hope it will give women extra confidence.” Jacky Brown, spokeswoman for the company Sheilas’ Wheels, which recently released an inflatable doll aimed at making female motorists feel safer while driving alone at night.

Quotation sources from top to bottom, New York Times, AP, Reuters, AP, Lost Angeles Times, AP, The Washington Post, AP (2), Reuters

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Rita Malone”

London Police Deputy Commissioner Paul Stephenson, on the foiled plot to bomb planes heading to the United States from Britain

“As long as there is Israeli aggression, it is our right to fight them.”

Hizbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah, on the U.N. ceasefire

“The world has made considerable promises … The time has come to keep them.”

U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan , urging G8 countries to make concrete pledges to fight AIDS

“He is obviously smart as hell.”

CBS newsman Mike Wallace , after his interview with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

“David Beckham is a style icon first and a footballer second for our customers.”

Fred Hughes, a buyer for the Superdrug retail chain, commenting that Beckham’s exclusion from the English team would not affect his brand power

“Is that possible? To time travel . . . ? Yes, it is, Kevin. I think other people are ahead of us.”

Britney Spears , to her husband, Kevin Federline, in a video that recently circulated on the Internet

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-27” author: “Claud Coleman”

President George W. Bush, after news broke of a foiled plan to detonate explosives aboard American airliners leaving Britain

“My silence through all these years is one of the reasons why I wrote this book. It had to come out finally.”

Nobel Prize-winning German writer Günter Grass, whose new book chronicles his service during World War II in the Waffen SS, the elite unit of Nazi soldiers. Grass, 78, had kept the secret for decades.

A"I was just lucky sometimes, and sometimes I outplayed people.”

Former Hollywood talent agent Jamie Gold, who last week won the $12 million grand prize at the World Series of Poker. On his way to victory Gold had several successful bluffs, one netting a $3 million pot from the sixth-place finisher while Gold held an unsuited two and three.

“If … young people knew that these problems exist while we’re having Poland Springs … we’ll get involved.”

Rapper Jay-Z, on his hopes that young people will join him in efforts to bring clean-water access to 1.1 billion people worldwide

“I call on Joe Lieberman to respect the will of the voters and step aside.”

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, in a statement, after Lieberman lost the Democratic Senate primary in Connecticut to Ned Lamont and announced he would still run as an independent. Lamont has since received the support of several prominent Democrats.

“We can’t explain it.”

Ronnie Chappell, spokesman for BP, on the cause of corrosion in an Alaska pipeline. The damage caused the company to shut down a large portion of the biggest U.S. oilfield.

“I thought you had retired.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to “60 Minutes” reporter Mike Wallace during a recent interview. Wallace retired last March, but jumped at the chance of an exclusive with the controversial world leader.

“Is that possible? To time travel … ? Yes, it is, Kevin. I think other people are ahead of us.”

Britney Spears, to her husband, Kevin Federline, in a video that recently circulated on the Internet. While eating what appears to be takeout chicken, Spears also calls herself “ugly.”

“My guitar is in New York.”

Rock legend Bo Diddley, who left his instrument behind during air travel affected by heightened security regulations

Reader Matthew Bernaldo of Ft. Myers, Fla., submitted this quote:

“I started punching the otter in the face, which I felt really bad about because it’s cute … but it was killing my dog.”

Leah Vanon, who rescued her Labrador retriever, Jasmine, from an otter that came ashore and dragged the dog into the water in west Boca Raton, Fla.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Sandra Chesley”

“Who Wants to Destroy Our Money?” Front-page headline of the newspaper Bild in Germany, where some 1,500 bank notes have mysteriously crumbled on human contact

“It was an act of ‘podiacide’–shooting yourself in the foot.” U.S. Ambassador John Bolton , blaming President Hugo Chávez’s description of George W. Bush as “the devil” for Venezuela’s failure to secure a seat on the U.N. Security Council

“All vacations will be canceled and all those who are on vacation must return.” Iraqi Defense Minister Abdul-Qader al-Obeidi , ordering all Iraqi troops back to duty to prepare for expected violence after a verdict in the trial of Saddam Hussein

“They are trying to say to the world, ‘You are not going to keep us from getting a nuclear weapon.’ The world has to say to them, ‘Yes, we will’.” U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice , after Iran recently tested missiles that can reach Israel

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Jeffrey Dalphonse”

“I guess he’s going to have a better seat than all the rest of us.” Former Michigan football player Doug James, on the death of legendary Michigan coach Glenn E. (Bo) Schembechler, days before Michigan ceded the Big Ten title to rival Ohio State.

“This has been a litmus test of our constitutional values … Equality does not exist on a sliding scale.” Melanie Judge, program manager for OUT, a gay-rights advocacy group, following a vote in South Africa’s parliament to legalize same-sex marriages

“Every member … received a wonderful package of home-baked cookies … Each one contained enough poison to kill the entire membership of the court.” Former Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O’Connor, in a recent discussion on judges’ safety, recalling one memorable incident. The sender was caught and sentenced to 15 years in prison.

“Let the healing begin.” Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi, after her pick for House majority leader, Rep. John Murtha, lost the post to longtime Pelosi rival Steny Hoyer

“The book is his confession. I would have no interest in publishing anything but that.” Judith Regan, publisher of O. J. Simpson’s upcoming book, “If I Did It,” which hypothetically recounts the murders–of which Simpson was acquitted–of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman

“Trent promised me he’d never give speeches at any more birthday parties.” Former Sen. John Breaux, on Sen. Trent Lott’s election to minority whip. Lott resigned his leadership post in 2002 after making racially insensitive remarks at a birthday event for Sen. Strom Thurmond.

“From the city of Bracciano, for having chosen it as the place where to crown your dream of love.” Bracciano, Italy, Mayor Patrizia Riccioni, in a note to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their wedding

“All over the place.” Michael Jackson, at his first public performance since being acquitted of child molestation, on where he’s been living

Reader Angela Harris of Newark, N.J., submitted this quote: “The park is an oasis. It’s a great place for jogging. We just need to figure out how to keep people from dumping bodies in it.” Essex County, N.J., Sheriff Armando Fontoura, after a dead body was recently discovered floating in the lake of Weequahic Park in Newark. The park has a notorious history.

Quotation sources from top to bottom: New York Times, ESPN.COM, New York Times, Star-Telegram, The Washington Post, New York Times (2), New York Post, AP, Star-Ledger

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-14” author: “Angela Womack”

Former U.N. chief weapons inspector Hans Blix, standing by his original opposition to the U.S. invasion

“We’re modernizing the southern border of the United States.”

President George W. Bush, signing a law that approves a 700-mile barrier to divide the United States from Mexico

“The uncovered meat is the problem … If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab, no problem would have occurred.”

Muslim cleric Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali, arguing that men are not to blame for attacks on what he calls immodestly dressed women

“We read about bodies being found in Iraq in mass graves and we are horrified. How is this not horrifying the world?”

Adele Milanowycz, whose son died in the World Trade Center attacks, responding to the discovery of more than 200 additional remains near the site this week

“The CD as it is right now is dead.”

EMI Music chairman and chief executive Alain Levy, expressing his views on the growing digital-music market

“I might be the first nerd in space.”

Charles Simonyi, who helped develop Microsoft’s Word and Excel, and who is expected to be the fifth space tourist

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Darla Witte”

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, initially defying a U.S. announcement of a timetable for curbing violence in Iraq. He later agreed to the measure.

“It’s a no-brainer for me.”

Vice President Dick Cheney, when asked if subjecting terror suspects to a “dunk in the water” during questioning was “a no-brainer if it can save lives.” White House spokesman Tony Snow said Cheney was not referring to waterboarding, the controversial interrogation technique that simulates drowning.

“If you take out uncovered meat … and the cats come and eat it, whose fault is it–the cats or the uncovered meat?”

Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali, a Muslim cleric in Australia, on female rape victims who do not wear traditional Islamic clothing. He has since apologized for the remark.

“The NBA wouldn’t be what it is today without him.”

Commissioner David Stern, on the passing of cigar-chomping basketball legend Red Auerbach, who led the Boston Celtics to 16 NBA titles as coach, general manager and team president in 56 years with the team. He was 89.

“Pro-traditional-marriage [groups] ought to give a distinguished-service award to the New Jersey Supreme Court.”

Southern Baptist leader Richard Land, on how a pro-gay-marriage ruling in New Jersey could increase turnout among social conservatives for the midterm elections

“We’re modernizing the Southern border.”

President George W. Bush, on signing a law that approves, but does not help fund, a 700-mile fence on the 1,951-mile Mexican border to curb illegal immigration

“Yes, Jack Abramoff was a friend, but he wasn’t my co-conspirator and I wasn’t his.”

Ex-Bush White House official David Safavian, who wept in court during a plea for leniency in the sentencing phase of his trial. He received 18 months in prison for concealing his relationship with disgraced lobbyist Abramoff.

“We shocked the world.”

St. Louis Cardinal Jim Edmonds, after his team won the World Series in an upset, its first title since 1982

“Are you a jelly belly?”

The title of an e-mail by Winter Haven, Fla., Police Chief Paul Goward to his staff, in which he urged cops to lose weight. After an uproar ensued, Goward resigned.

Reader Sharon Lathrop of Richardson, Texas, submitted this quote:

“That didn’t give me a warm, fuzzy feeling by any stretch of the imagination.”

Ft. Worth, Texas, attorney Jerry Wood, on seeing buzzards circling above him as he waited for help after careering off a 40-foot cliff in his car, breaking his ribs and puncturing a lung. After two days, Wood managed to climb out of a ravine, and was rescued.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-25” author: “Violet Begor”

“[They have] one condition, that the siege will not be lifted unless the prime minister is changed. When the issue is like this … I prefer the siege be lifted and the suffering ended.” Hamas leader Ismail Haniya, saying he would step down as prime minister if doing so would restore the flow of international aid to the Palestinians

“I swear by God we shall not rest from jihad until we … blow up the filthiest house known as the White House.” Abu Ayuub al-Masri, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, after the U.S. election

“If sentencing is to be done, the first one to be given the most severe sentence this planet has to offer should be the president of the United States.” Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, criticizing the death sentence handed down to Saddam Hussein

“In the year 2015 they plan to send a spaceship to Jupiter to search for water, yet in Africa or India we can’t get water to the people who need it.” Kevin Watkins, lead author of a U.N. report calling for an end to “water apartheid”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-05” author: “Lucy Pettey”

New Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, after Democrats won control of both houses of Congress for the first time since 1994

“If you look at it race by race, it was close. The cumulative effect, however, was not close. It was a thumping.”

President George W. Bush, on the elections

“Many of them haven’t had exposure to some of the things that lead to success, like how to open a bottle of wine or cook for someone at their home or host a dinner.”

Caltech professor Thomas Mannion, on a new Cooking Basics class that teaches bright but socially lacking students how to entertain “This is the day where you see the dictator … facing the penalty he deserves. Iraqis have the right to smile and rejoice a little for the death sentence issued against this criminal and his minions.”

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, after a court sentenced former dictator Saddam Hussein to death by hanging. Some Iraqis rejoiced, while others said it would inflame the conflict there.

“Mississippi gets more than their fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?”

New House Ways and Means Committee chairman Charles Rangel, Democrat of New York , on which states should get federal funds. He later apologized.

“This is a resignation that should have come before the election. The good news is it shows the administration’s listening.”

Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman, on Donald Rumsfeld’s being ousted as secretary of Defense. President Bush has nominated former CIA director Robert Gates to replace him.

“I can’t say I understand it all, but it’s going to be quite a ballpark.”

Fremont, Calif., Mayor Bob Wasserman, on high-tech plans for a new Oakland A’s stadium that would let fans store e-tickets on cell phones, buy pictures of themselves and view instant replays at their seats

“She went from being a pop icon to an emblem of white trash in a matter of two years.”

Publicist Michael Levine, on Britney Spears’s marriage to Kevin Federline. She has filed for divorce.

“I’ll play it all through the weekend. No time for meals.”

Tokyo gamer Tomoaki Nakamura, on the release of the PlayStation 3 there

Reader Lynn Hughes of Rochester, N.Y., submitted this quote: “Of course we are concerned about people voting if they are dead.”

George Stanton, an official with the New York Board of Elections, on a report that the state’s database of registered voters could contain the names of as many as 77,000 dead people–2,600 of which may have voted from “beyond the grave”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Augusta Garceau”

Marjorie Roher, of the Montgomery County, Md., Board of Elections, on the functionality of electronic voting systems heading into the midterm elections

“I was buying it for me, but I never used it.”

Evangelist Ted Haggard, admitting to buying methamphetamine and getting a massage from a gay prostitute. Haggard–who resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals–denies the prostitute’s claims that the two had a sexual relationship.

“This is Swift Boat stuff all over again.”

Sen. John Kerry, on being attacked by Republicans after making a remark many took as an insult to U.S. troops. The comment, which implied that troops lacked education and got “stuck in Iraq” as a result, was a “botched joke” meant to be against President Bush, Kerry said. Kerry has apologized.

“It’s nothing new for me to fall asleep in a meeting. It goes back to my rookie year.”

Dallas receiver Terrell Owens, on why he regularly falls asleep in team meetings, which reportedly irritates the Cowboys’ passing-game coordinator

“They are trying to say to the world, ‘You are not going to keep us from getting a nuclear weapon.’ The world has to say to them, ‘Yes, we will’.”

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, on a recent test by Iran of missiles that can reach Israel

“While to many Botha will remain a symbol of apartheid, we also remember him for the steps he took to pave the way toward the eventual peacefully negotiated settlement in our country.”

Nelson Mandela, on the death of P. W. Botha, the former South African leader who supported apartheid and refused to release Mandela from prison during the ’80s

“Bad choice of costume.”

Westchester County, N.Y., official Susan Tolchin, on a former prison inmate spotted trick-or-treating in his old orange prisoner’s jumpsuit. Police confiscated the suit but released the man.

“I will be 83 years old on Dec. 12, and I’ve decided to retire while I’m still young.”

“The Price Is Right” host Bob Barker, on announcing he will leave television after 50 years in the business

“If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility.” Rapper Kanye West, after losing for best video at the MTV Europe Music Awards

Reader Ted Lee of Mill Valley, Calif., submitted this quote:

“Usually when you hear about Newark, it’s a murder or some crime, but a bull running loose? … I was, like, ‘Holy cow!’”

Newark, N.J., resident George Romero, on a 600-pound bull that ran wild through the streets of the city as police chased it for 10 hours. It was finally lassoed by an animal-control officer.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “Frank Hollie”

“The prime minister is still negotiating with gangs … and there have been no results.” Former Haitian rebel leader Guy Philippe, criticizing Prime Minister Jacques-Edouard Alexis and President René Préval for failing to curb violence since the country’s elections earlier this year

“Our weapons are only for our Israeli enemy.” Hizbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah, declaring that his group would not use force against fellow Lebanese despite its desire to oust Lebanon’s Western-backed government.

“What we confront is human and it’s dynamic, and knowledge does not in fact perish with time.” Paul Rester, director of the Joint Intelligence Group at the U.S. base in Guantánamo Bay, stating that movies and fast food are sometimes used to loosen the tongues of detainees–some of whom are still being interrogated after five years in prison

“There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist’s shop and ask for a smaller-size condom.” Dr. Chander Puri , responding to a survey that found that the standard international condom size is too large for most Indian men

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Jonathan York”

Cardinal Roger Etchagaray, comparing Pope Benedict XVI’s prayer in Istanbul’s famous Blue Mosque to Pope John Paul II’s prayer at Israel’s Western Wall in 2000

“It is for President Abbas to decide what his options are. He’s the elected president … not me.”

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, after Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas failed to form a coalition government with Hamas. Abbas delivered the news during her visit to the West Bank last week.

“This business about a graceful exit just simply has no realism to it whatsoever.”

U.S. President George W. Bush, on speculation that a new report by the bipartisan Iraq Study Group, expected to recommend a large U.S. troop withdrawal, would give him political cover to do so

“They’ll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him.”

Mel Gibson, on “Seinfeld” star Michael Richards, who has come under fire for spouting a racist rant during a recent stand-up set in Hollywood. Earlier this year Gibson made widely publicized anti-Semitic remarks during a traffic stop.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-18” author: “Mattie Guard”

President George W. Bush, in his State of the Union Message, on reducing America’s dependence on oil through the use of alternative energy sources

“We’re still crying, but today we’ll be crying through the champagne.” Lou Brown, father of Nicole Brown Simpson, after the firing of publisher Judith Regan. Regan’s deal with O. J. Simpson for a “hypothetical confession” of the murders of his ex-wife and Ron Goldman was scrapped after causing an uproar; Regan was fired weeks later. “We’ll succeed unless we quit.”

President Bush, when asked during his visit to Vietnam which lessons from the Vietnam War could be applied to Iraq

“Having my picture taken with someone doesn’t mean that I’m a friend with him or know him very well.”

President Bush, on a handful of photos taken with disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff that the White House had declined to make public

“Having my picture taken with someone doesn’t mean that I’m a friend with him or know him very well.”

President Bush, on a handful of photos taken with disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff that the White House had declined to make public

“I’m the decider, and I decide what’s best.”

President Bush, on his role as president, in response to calls in April for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation

“See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hizbullah to stop doing this s–t, and it’s over.”

President Bush, to British Prime Minister Tony Blair, at a luncheon during a G8 summit in Russia. Neither leader realized that the microphone was still on.

“This is just a mess.”

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, at his first question-and-answer session with the press corps. The briefing was crowded, and Snow admitted to being unprepared for some of the questions.

“I would have told you all about this. Why didn’t you just ask?”

George (Jay) Keyworth, then a director at Hewlett-Packard, when confronted with evidence he had leaked information to a reporter. The company’s chairman, Patricia Dunn, had ordered surveillance on the board’s personal phone records; she later resigned.

“The prospect of a low-intensity civil war and a de facto division of Iraq is probably more likely at this stage than a successful and substantial transition to a stable democracy.”

Outgoing British Ambassador to Iraq William Patey, in a leaked confidential memo to high-level U.K. officials

“I want to fight in a war like World War II. I want to fight an enemy. And this, out here … it’s a faceless enemy.”

Sgt. Christopher Dugger, on fighting insurgents in Iraq

“It’s a no-brainer for me.”

Vice President Dick Cheney, when asked if subjecting terror suspects to a “dunk in the water” during questioning was “a no-brainer if it can save lives.” White House spokesman Tony Snow said Cheney was not referring to waterboarding, the controversial interrogation technique that simulates drowning.

“No, sir.”

Defense Secretary-designate Robert Gates, when asked during his confirmation hearing whether he thought the United States was winning the war in Iraq

“We are not going to live with a nuclear North Korea.”

Christopher Hill, U.S. assistant secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific affairs, on North Korea’s announced plans to test nuclear weapons

“I’ll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten, and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it, really.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin, explaining why he was shown on Russian national television approaching a young boy in a group of tourists, lifting the boy’s shirt and kissing him on his bare stomach

“It was a thumpin’.”

President George W. Bush, reacting to the loss of the Republican congressional majority to the Democrats in the midterm elections

“to be honest I am a little to[o] interested in you”

Former representative Mark Foley of Florida, in an instant message to a 17-year-old House page. The congressman abruptly resigned in September.

“I’m the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend.”

Vice President Dick Cheney, taking responsibility for the quail-hunting accident that injured Texas lawyer Harry Whittington

“I simply do not remember getting out of bed, being pulled over by the police or being cited for three driving infractions … That is not how I want to live my life … I know that I need help.”

Rep. Patrick Kennedy, Democrat of Rhode Island, on crashing his car on Capitol Hill while “disoriented” by prescription medication. Kennedy entered drug rehab.

“These broads are millionaires … reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.”

Pundit Ann Coulter, characterizing 9/11 widows in her new book, “Godless: The Church of Liberalism.” Coulter’s comments drew considerable fire from both sides of the political aisle.

“We seem to have learned a new Hebrew word—and from Tom Cruise, no less.”

An anchorman on Israel’s Channel Two, on Suri, the name Cruise and Katie Holmes, then his fiancée, chose for their newborn daughter. Both Hebrew and Farsi speakers disputed the Cruise camp’s claim that Suri “has its origins in Hebrew, meaning ‘princess,’ or in Persian, meaning ‘red rose’.”

“I was buying it for me, but I never used it.”

The Rev. Ted Haggard, admitting to buying methamphetamines and getting a massage from a gay prostitute. Haggard resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals.

“When you’re loaded … the balance of how you see things—it comes out the wrong way.”

Mel Gibson, in an interview with Diane Sawyer, explaining his tirade against Jews after being pulled over for drinking and driving. He said he is “ashamed” of his remarks.

“I’m deeply, deeply sorry. And I’ll get to the force field of this hostility, why it’s there, why the rage is in any of us.”

Comedian Michael Richards, apologizing for a racist rant at a Los Angeles comedy club

“What he represents is a country of Boratastan, a country of one.”

Kazakh Embassy Press Secretary Roman Vassilenko, on comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Borat, a Kazakh journalist. Cohen, while in character, was denied entry to the White House, where he planned to invite “Premier George Walter Bush” to a screening of his new movie.

“If what he said is true, then I want his balls on a platter.”

Malika Zidane, mother of French soccer player Zinédine Zidane, who head-butted Italian player Marco Materazzi during the World Cup final after Materazzi allegedly called Malika, an Algerian immigrant, a “terrorist whore.” Materazzi denied using the phrase.

“I hate that guy.”

Baseball fan Tyler Snyder, after catching Barry Bonds’s 714th home run, which tied Babe Ruth on the all-time list. The 19-year-old said he will sell the ball.

“I may go down in history as the guy who killed Pluto.”

Scientist Michael Brown, who helped develop new guidelines that demoted Pluto to a “dwarf planet,” leaving eight recognized planets

" ‘Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman’.”

Pope Benedict XVI, quoting 14th-century Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus, in a speech in September that outraged the Muslim world

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-30” author: “Rosa Mchendry”

“The far left doesn’t feel a need to celebrate the birth of Jesus since it believes that there’s no problem that can’t be fixed by the welfare state.” Author Katharine DeBrecht, in a statement promoting her new children’s book, “Help! Mom! The 9th Circuit Nabbed the Nativity!” which features Sen. Hillary Clinton as the Grinch

“Senator, I am not giving up the presidency of Texas A&M … to come back to Washington to be a bump on a log, and not to say exactly what I think.” Defense Secretary-designate Robert Gates, to Sen. Ted Kennedy during his confirmation hearing, on his plans to be candid. Gates was confirmed by the Senate the next day.

“I am trying to find my shipmates.” Pearl Harbor survivor Donald Robinett, 89, struggling to find other veterans of the Japanese attack at a survivors’ reunion last week. Organizers said 2006 will likely be the last gathering of survivors, as many have died or are unable to make the trip.

“It seems superhuman to me that he was able to cover that amount of distance.” Josephine County, Ore., Undersheriff Brian Anderson, on James Kim, found dead of exposure after traveling 10 miles while seeking help for his family, who were stranded in their car on a snowy back road in Oregon. Kim’s wife and two daughters were rescued.

“We do in fact have both a Jewish and a social and a medical need to try to confirm those unions.” Rabbi Elliot Dorff, on the decision by a panel of rabbis to grant permission for same-sex commitment ceremonies and ordination of gays within Conservative Judaism

“When she put her feet under the desk of the Oval Office, the president listened.” William Clark, former Reagan national-security adviser, on Jeane Kirkpatrick, the first American woman ambassador to the United Nations. Kirkpatrick died last week at 80.

“God, I hope I’m OK.” Trenton, N.J., Taco Bell customer Nidhi Trikha, upon learning of an E. coli outbreak allegedly caused by green onions from the fast-food chain that have sickened more than 30 people

“I probably did take my newfound freedom a little too far.” Britney Spears, on being photographed in public without underwear

Reader Matt Nienhaus of Cincinnati submitted this quote: “We wouldn’t hold a 12-year-old.” Rock Hill, S.C., police spokesman Lt. Jerry Waldrop, on a 12-year-old boy arrested–on the prompting of his mother–for opening a Christmas present early. The boy, unnamed by local press due to his age, was charged as a juvenile for petty larceny and released the same day.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Raymond Johnson”

“We are here because we don’t want to give this land to Syria or Iran.” Bouchra Salameh, 59, protesting outside the funeral of assassinated Lebanese Industry Minister Pierre Gemayel, who many Lebanese suspect was killed by Syria.

“I’m not a racist. That’s what’s so insane about this.” Former “Seinfeld” star Michael Richards, apologizing for a racist tirade during his recent stand-up-comedy performance in Los Angeles

“I’m very sad as I should have relished revisiting Middle Earth with Peter again.” Sir Ian McKellen, who played Gandalf in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, expressing his disappointment that director Peter Jackson would not be directing the new version of “The Hobbit”

“It’s not a question of ‘You go first.’ It’s a question of, ‘What are we talking about?’ " Israeli spokeswoman Miri Eisin, responding to the Palestinian declaration that a ceasefire would be instituted if Israelis ended military operations in the West Bank and Gaza Strip

Quotation sources, Top to Bottom: AP (2), The Washington Post, BBC, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-30” author: “Michelle Gonzales”

Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack, on being the first Democrat to officially announce his candidacy for president for the 2008 campaign

“Up yours!”

Sir Elton John, who is gay, when asked during his Australian tour if he had anything to say to the Australian prime minister, who opposes gay marriage. John and his partner, David Furnish, exchanged vows in a civil ceremony last year.

“Istanbul is a bridge that unites sides.”

Pope Benedict XVI, at the end of his first visit to Turkey, after making a controversial speech earlier this year about the nature of Islam that outraged the Muslim world. The trip, which included a moment of prayer in a mosque while facing Mecca, ended with optimistic statements from Muslim clerics there on relations between the two religions.

“They’ll probably torture him for a while and then let him go. I like him.”

Mel Gibson, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, on “Seinfeld” star Michael Richards, who has come under fire for spouting a racist rant during a recent stand-up set in Hollywood. Earlier this year, Gibson made widely publicized anti-Semitic remarks during a traffic stop.

“This business about a graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all.”

President George W. Bush, on speculation that a new report by the bipartisan Iraq Study Group, expected to recommend a large U.S. troop withdrawal, would give him political cover to do so

“I don’t ignore the complexity of the political movement we are living, nor our differences.”

Newly elected Mexican President Felipe Calderón, a conservative, after taking the oath of office. Leftists in the capital staged huge protests at Calderón’s public swearing-in, and he left after just four minutes.

“Can’t get worse. It has gotten as bad as it could.”

Texas Rep. Silvestre Reyes, on bipartisan relations in the House intelligence committee. Reyes is Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s pick to head the committee.

“Religious freedom is a tradition in our country.”

Kari Moe, chief of staff for newly elected Muslim congressman Keith Ellison, defending his announced decision to be sworn into Congress using the Qur’an

“What am I going to do in a library?”

Blind Turkish man Ismail Canseven, sentenced to a library course for not voting in a local election

Reader Gina Frezzo of Silver Spring, Md., submitted this quote:

“I don’t profess to be that knowledgeable about ladies’ undergarments. They ran the gamut from frilly things to mundane things.”

Fairfax, Va., Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney Ian M. Rodway, on former CIA employee George C. Dalmas III’s admission to robbing 10 homes of a range of items, including 1,074 pairs of women’s underwear

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Steven Dunn”

White House drug czar John Walters, on a report showing that prescription-drug abuse among teens is not declining, though teen marijuana use is down

“Minnesotans have a right to be skeptical about whether I’m ready for this challenge, and to wonder how seriously I would take the responsibility that I’m asking you to give me.”

Comedian Al Franken, announcing that he is running for the U.S. Senate in 2008

“I’m ready to bear all responsibility for what happened.”

NASCAR star Michael Waltrip, after his racing team was caught cheating with a banned fuel additive. Waltrip said he considered dropping out of the Daytona 500 preparations over the incident.

“We’re assuming it was male, although they did have a mask on.”

Sgt. Mark Clark, of the Scottsdale, Ariz., police, on a report of a person dressed as Batman running across a middle-school campus and disappearing into the desert. Some local schools were puton lockdown as a precaution, but “Batman” was not located.

“It’s hard for me, you know, living in this beautiful White House, to give you a firsthand assessment.”

President George W. Bush, when asked if he believed Iraq was in a state of civil war

“No, no, no, no. I’m almost ready to hit my head on the microphone.”

White House spokesman Tony Snow, responding to questions over whether the United States has embellished evidence of Iran’s hostility toward the United States in Iraq

“All these people who say they are pro-life–at least we would see how many lives are being ended out there by abortions.”

State Rep. Stacey Campfield, on legislation in Tennessee that would mandate the issuance of death certificates for aborted fetuses. The records would likely identify the women having abortions in the state.

“I love you when I’m drunk.”

A message on one of Chicago baker Mikky Wright ’s Valentine’s Day cookies. Others include, “Lose my number.”

“I shouldn’t have said I hate gay people … That was my mistake.”

Former Miami Heat guard Tim Hardaway, apologizing for his recent offensive remarks toward gays

Reader Ruth Kraft of Jamestown, N.D., submitted this quote: “I would shoot that person … He’d leak like a watering can when I was done with him.”

North Dakota State Rep. Al Carlson, on what he would do to a burglar in his home. Carlson was defending legislation that would give people in his state protection from lawsuits after shooting carjackers and burglars.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Monica Montemayor”

United States Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi, on the Democrats’ decision to challenge President George W. Bush’s troop-surge proposal for Iraq

“All my life, I tried to be honest. Today is no different.”

New York taxi driver Osman Chowdhury, a native of Bangladesh, who returned 31 diamond rings left in his cab by a passenger who had given him a 30-cent tip

“I really don’t know whether we’ll be printing the Times in five years. And you know what? I don’t care either.”

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger , who told an Israeli newspaper he’s focusing on the Web

“If we can no longer laugh at the terrorists, what weapon is left for the citizen?”

Philippe Val, the director of the French newspaper Charlie Hebdo, which touched off international rioting last year when it published cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad. Val is on trial for slander.

“Anna came to our company as a customer, but she departs it as a friend.”

TrimSpa CEO Alex Goen, who shut down his company’s Web site in response to the sudden death of former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith, who reportedly lost almost 70 pounds on the weight-loss program

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-29” author: “Paul Panebianco”

French writer Philippe Delerm, in an editorial in Le Monde lamenting France’s recent ban on smoking in public

“I would suggest respectfully to the president that he is not the sole decider.”

Republican U.S. Sen. Arlen Specter, challenging President George W. Bush on his Iraq-war clout during a hearing on Congress’s war powers

“Your dignity should not be an issue: I will guard it like a precious material in my heart even when thoughtless jokes come out of my mouth.”

Former Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, in a public letter of apology to his wife, Veronica Lario. She demanded the apology in a letter of her own published by La Repubblica newspaper. Berlusconi has a reputation for making sexist remarks, and her rebuke after ignoring them for the past 27 years of their marriage caused a media storm.

“This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate by people on either side of anissue. It is my child.”

Mary Cheney, daughter of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, to an audience at Barnard College about her decision to start a family with her female partner of 15 years

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-21” author: “Glenda Davis”

“I don’t believe she’s asking to be sent on–you know, on the space shuttle.”

White House spokesman Tony Snow , defending Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi against criticism surrounding the House sergeant-at-arms’ request for a military aircraft for her to travel back to her California district

“He’s nothing more than David Duke with a blow-dried haircut.”

Catholic League president Bill Donohue, on Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, who has admonished, but not fired, two staffers who posted anti-Catholic sentiments on their personal blogs

“He said, ‘What the hell’s going on with “Hardball”? Dammit, I’m tired of hearing my name over and over again’.”

Tim Russert of NBC News, testifying to his recollection of a telephone conversation with I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, the former vice presidential chief of staff, who is accused of perjury in the Valerie Plame affair

“Sir, when my country gives me an order, I follow it.”

Marine Corps Cpl. Trent Thomas, to Judge Lt. Col. Tracy Daly, who is presiding over Thomas’s trial for kidnapping and murdering an unarmed Iraqi civilian. Daly allowed Thomas to withdraw his guilty plea and instead argue that he was carrying out orders from a commanding officer.

“He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered.”

The Rev. Tim Ralph, on Ted Haggard, the Colorado Springs pastor who stepped down after admitting to an encounter with a male prostitute. Ralph served on Haggard’s four-man oversight board.

“They’ll pop a pill until they have diarrhea, and then they’ll stop.”

UCLA’s Dr. Naomi Neufeld’s forecast on dieters’ reaction to the side effects of Alli, the first FDA-approved diet pill for over-the-counter use

“I made the bet, and now I’ve got to keep it.”

Scott Wiese, a Chicago Bears fan, on honoring his pledge to change his name to Peyton Manning if Manning’s Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl

“He will do a sequel.”

Fox’s Rupert Murdoch, on Sacha Baron Cohen’s reprising his “Borat” character. A Fox spokesman would not confirm.

Reader Rick Figari of Bow, N.H., submitted this quote: “We don’t go into a barbershop to look good. We go into a barbershop to get our hair cut so we don’t look bad.”

New Hampshire House Rep. Lee Quandt , on legislation he is sponsoring to change the licensing requirements of barbers in the state

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-04” author: “Andre Russo”

“He’ll learn to say, ‘These are the things I’m committed to,’ but do it in a way that’s less cocky and sure of himself. A little more modesty is a good thing.” Michael Cromartie, vice president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center and practicing evangelical, on U.S. Sen. David Vitter—a devout Christian and outspoken moralist who lambasted Bill Clinton for his affair with Monica Lewinsky. Vitter’s phone number recently turned up in the records of a D.C. escort service.

“Stop eating meat.” Su Taylor of Britain’s Vegetarian Society, suggesting a way to reduce carbon footprints. A recent Japanese study concurred, finding that producing 1kg of beef generates the same quantity of greenhouse gases as driving a car for three hours.

“This swim is a triumph and a tragedy.” British adventurer and global-warming activist Lewis Gordon Pugh, on completing an 18-minute, 50-second swim at the North Pole, the first of its kind. The tragedy, according to Pugh, is that the Arctic waters should be frozen and thus impossible to swim in.

“When you are fat, it makes you look healthy.” Happiness Edem, of Calabar, Nigeria, on the rising popularity of “fattening rooms” in the country.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-15” author: “Sharon Dean”

“It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey.” Basra resident Suad Hassan, describing one of the thousands of honey badgers that locals believed had been unleashed on the city by British troops. Flooding in the north had, in fact, driven the animals from their homes.

“If there is censorship, there is business.” An unnamed Havana resident on the illegal satellite-dish boom in Cuba “It could mean that any person getting off the plane asking, ‘Which way to the toilet?’ is in breach of the law.” Beijing-based writer Nick Young, on the vague wording in new legislation restricting Chinese contact with foreign groups

“How and why do Borders think that it’s OK to peddle such racist material?” A spokeswoman for the Commission for Racial Equality on the Belgian author Hergé’s Tintin adventure tales, arguing that stores shouldn’t stock the books because they contain “words of hideous racial prejudice, where the ‘savage natives’ look like monkeys and talk like imbeciles”

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-31” author: “Albert Fried”

“I’ve got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain’t no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence. People are at least as smart as goats. Maybe not as agile.” Republican Sen. Trent Lott, on the proposal to build a fence along the U.S.-Mexico border

“This was the only university to recruit us by offering a hot spring.” Japanese student Yasunori Iwanaga, on why he chose to attend Fukuoka University of Economics, one of many Japanese schools competing for a narrowing pool of applicants in the wake of a 20-year-long decline in birthrates. Three Japanese universities have gone bankrupt since 2004 because of low enrollment.

“It would be a hollow dream for the Queen of England to think that with such a move she could revive one of her mercenaries to oppose Islam.” Iranian M.P. Mehdi Kuchakzadeh, on the decision to grant controversial author Salman Rushdie a knighthood

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-19” author: “Kathyrn Peterson”

“They want to slit my throat. But I think we need to reflect on this for a moment. If the idea of the show is environmental protection, it cannot trigger such a significant noise impact.” Rio Judge Denise Tarin, on her children’s anger when she ruled to cancel the Brazilian leg of the Al Gore-sponsored Live Earth concert series. Judge Tarin later reversed her decision after event organizers obtained a security guarantee from local police. “If we get married, I’ll make you hot dogs every day.” A sign in Japanese at the July 4 Coney Island hot-dog eating contest, rooting on six-time champ Takeru Kobayashi, who consumed 63 dogs in 12 minutes but, alas, lost by three dogs

“You had better have a sense of humor, because if you don’t … in this particular country at this particular time, you will quickly become suicidal.” Outgoing U.S. ambassador to Venezuela William Brownfield, on advice that he would give his successor

“How are you going to tell a dog you only have five minutes?” New York dog owner Marlene Hussey, on a new noise code that fines owners whose dogs bark continuously for more than 10 minutes during the day or five minutes at night.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Dorothy Barraclough”

" Quite frankly, the city can ’ t afford to pay for the consequences of U.S. immigration policy. " Windsor, Ontario, Mayor Eddie Francis, on the influx of undocumented Mexicans who’ve entered his Canadian city hoping to avoid a crackdown on illegals in the United States. Rumors that Canada would offer them asylum proved untrue.

" If we ’ re not careful, we will finish in one century. " Archbishop Francisco Chimio of Mozambique, on his belief that European-made condoms are deliberately tainted with HIV in a conspiracy to kill Africans and take over the continent

" It took me a second to realize that the shot came from the pistol in my hand. " U.S. Army Sgt. Evan Vela, on killing an unarmed Iraqi man. His commanding officer has been charged with ordering the killing.

" What did the father say? He couldn ’ t say a thing — he just stood there blinking. " Russian mother Tatyana Barabanova, describing the scene after she gave birth to Nadia, a 7.75kg girl

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-26” author: “Sylvia Posey”

“There ’ s going to be a lot more people and a lot more ships there, but it ’ s not going to be the Panama of the north. " John Falkingham, of the Canadian Ice Service, contending that even after global warming melts ice in the fabled Northwest Passage, the Arctic shipping route will remain difficult and dangerous

" It ’ s not on the program! " A Sudanese security chief, in a shouting match with Jimmy Carter, as the former U.S. president tried to meet with refugees in an off-limits Darfur town

“I don’t feel I missed anything by not going to Europe.” Retiring American football player Eddie Pope, on having spent his entire career in the United States instead of following the typical career path to global superstardom

“As far as I’m aware it’s not a criminal offense to cook very strong chili.” Sue Wasboonma, owner of a London Thai restaurant, after police mistook fumes from his hot sauce for a chemical attack and evacuated buildings and streets

“Finally they realized that this was their biggest enemy.” Aung Zaw, of Burmese exile Web site Irrawaddy, on why the junta shut down the Internet to shield international eyes from their crackdown on pro-democracy protests.

Quotation Sources: Reuters, AP, New York Times (2), AP, New York Times

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-23” author: “Amber Kluge”

“They all said they would help us. But all they did was blah, blah, blah.” A 58-year-old Burmese man, speaking on condition of anonymity, on statements by the United Nations and other countries that condemned the ruling junta’s violent crackdown

“I would say it was an appointment with destiny.” Elizabeth Gibson, on learning that the painting she had picked off a New York trash pile was a stolen work by Mexican artist Rufino Tamayo, which could fetch $1 million at auction this November

“Falling in love can blind us to an extent.” “Harry Potter” author J. K. Rowling, on the revelation that her character Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts school, is gay

“Poland has already fulfilled its obligations to America in Iraq 400 percent.” Bronislaw Komorowski , a deputy in Poland’s new majority Civic Platform Party, which advocates closer ties with the EU rather than with the United States

“You couldn’t make it a five-times-a-year thing. I don’t think it would work. Once a year, there’s curiosity. But outside of that?” New York Giants player Lawrence Tynes, on the NFL’s attempt to market American football internationally by playing a game in London last weekend

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-31” author: “Earl Christiansen”

“Oh, that always happens.” TheDalai Lama, laughing off China’s angry reaction to the United States’giving him its highest civilian award and his meeting with George Bush at the White House

“Their lyrics are a little different.” MTV Networks vice chairmanBill Roedy, on pop music in the Middle East, where the new MTV Arabia will rely on local programming rather than on imported MTV shows like"A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila”

“All our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours—whereas all the testing says not really.” Nobel Prize-winning geneticistJames Watson, explaining his ideas about race and why he is"inherently gloomy about the prospects of Africa.“He later apologized.

“This is already behind us.” Libya’s ambassador to the United Nations,Giadalla Ettalhi, on the Libyan-sponsored Lockerbie airline bombing. He was reacting to objections raised by victims’families to his country’s gaining a seat on the U.N. Security Council.

“This is the first time in post-Soviet history when only the Kremlin decides who can participate.” Vladimir Ryzhkov, opposition member of Russia’s Parliament, on new rules that effectively bar candidates like himself from running for re-election

Quotation sources from top to bottom: BBC, New York Times, Financial Times, Times Of London (2), Boston Globe

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Eric Copper”

“This has been the most pitifully nonphysical honeymoon you could possibly imagine.” Andrew Speaker, the Atlanta lawyer who flew from the United States to Europe for his wedding and honeymoon after being diagnosed with a drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis. Speaker claims he had been told he was not contagious.

“I feel disturbed for the first time. If I myself have to do everything, then you are for what purpose?” President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, berating members of his parliamentary party for remaining mum in the face of protests against his new curbs on the media

“For people who want to continue working for the Pentagon or for contractors, speaking up is a career ender.” Former U.S. soldier Eric Fair, who received death threats after confessing in a Washington Post opinion piece to abusing a prisoner while serving as a civilian interrogator in Iraq in 2004

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2022-12-19” author: “Jeffrey Cahee”

“I wish they wouldn’t bother investigating and just come get me. At least then I’d get three meals a day and free health care.” Reggie Cervantes, a volunteer 9/11 rescuer who followed Michael Moore to Cuba for health treatment in Moore’s documentary “Sicko.” The U.S. Treasury is investigating the group for violating restrictions on allowing Americans to spending money in Cuba.

“You can see this silent rebellion even in traditional cities.” Tehran resident Zahra Ansari on a public effort to resist a recent crackdown on “un-Islamic” dress by wearing “outlandish” clothes such as jeans and short sleeves

“White people wear sagging pants too.” Delcambre, Louisiana, Mayor Car Broussard, who plans to add underwear to indecent-exposure statutes. Broussard was responding to critics who say the new law unfairly targets African-American fashion.

“Why this imbalance? I’m trying to say British food is good, if you know how to cook it properly.” British celebrity chef Manju Malhi, who hopes her spiced-up English food will change the fact that there are many Indian restaurants in Britain, but very few British restaurants in India.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-13” author: “Willie Chidester”

“Look at this square, Mr. Prime Minister, it says it all.” Israeli Ronny Zvigenbaum, on the crowd in Tel Aviv’s Rabin Square demanding the resignation of Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and his Defense minister, after the release of a report criticizing their handling of the 2006 war in Lebanon

“I think that is left up to the individual business.” Former Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson, at last week’s GOP presidential debate, suggesting that private employers who consider homosexuality immoral should be allowed to fire gay workers. He later retracted the comment.

“They were pushing children, elderly, mothers with their babies and beating up on the media.” Angela Sanbrano, an organizer of a Los Angeles immigration rally at which LAPD officers allegedly beat demonstrators and shot them with rubber bullets. Police officials said they will investigate the incident, which was caught on video.

“We have got to get a message to guys that it is not good enough to just leave.” Anton Goff, an athletic director at the University of Maryland, on the NCAA’s sanctioning 112 programs for poor graduation rates among college athletes

“It’s now on 100,000 Web sites, it’s been turned into a song and someone registered it as a domain.” Digital-rights lawyer Fred von Lohmann, on a code for bootlegging HD-DVDs that users posted to Digg.com, a reader-edited site. The posts were deleted, but users rebelled by repeatedly reposting the code, forcing the site to capitulate.

“Have you ever seen a woman wearing pants and meeting the queen?” Jacqueline Bowens, of D.C.’s Children’s National Medical Center, on special preparations for Queen Elizabeth II’s visit to the hospital during her stay in the United States

“If we want to clean up the smells and sights of our streets, we have to be able to offer these facilities.” Blogger Eric Richardson, on L.A.’s installation of luxury automated public toilets

“He wants to know whether he’s going to be dreaming about this.” New Jersey mom Joann Gazette, whose 5-year-old son caught a glimpse of pornography that accidentally aired for a few minutes on the Disney Channel. The cable provider apologized.

Reader Nanci Roider of Raleigh, N.C., submitted this quote: “I’ve smelled death. I know what death smells like. I can’t believe my sinuses were that bad.” Real-estate agent Linda Chabucos-Galow, on finding the owner of a house in Janesville, Wis., dead in the bedroom during a tour with prospective buyers. The agent mistook the odor of the corpse for dirty dishes as she set up the showing.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-12” author: “Paula Stephens”

“I’m not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody who had a 9 percent approval rating.” Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, responding to criticism from Vice President Dick Cheney that Reid’s comment calling the war “lost” represents “defeatism”

“Make no mistake about it, the Democrats want to put us back on defense.” Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, who said his rivals would weaken U.S. military presence abroad

“My partner and I look forward to taking full advantage of the new law.” Episcopal Bishop V. Gene Robinson, of New Hampshire, on his state’s legalization of civil unions

“I am a transsexual sportswriter.” Mike Penner, of the Los Angeles Times, who announced his plans to return from a vacation as “Christine Daniels” in a column for the newspaper. Penner did not say whether he will undergo gender-reassignment surgery.

“He was doing gold-medalist gymnastics in zero G.” Zero Gravity Corp. CEO Peter Diamandis, on astrophysicist Stephen Hawking’s ride on a modified plane that simulates weightlessness with steep dives. Hawking was the first person with a disability to perform the feat.

“Science will tell you that Phil Spector was not holding a gun in the decedent’s mouth.” Defense lawyer Linda Kenney-Baden, in her opening statement at the record producer’s murder trial. Spector is charged with killing actress Lana Clarkson.

“It’s like a Thomas Hardy tragedy, because she did so much good, but something she did long ago came back and trumped it.” Leslie C. Perelman of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, on Marilee Jones, the school’s dean of admissions. Dean served in the position for 10 years before stepping down last week after it was revealed that she had fabricated her academic credentials.

“This individual was a major dealer of anabolic steroids and performance-enhancing drugs whose clientele was focused almost exclusively on Major League Baseball players.” Assistant U.S. Attorney Matt Parrella, on Kirk Radomski, 37, a former batboy for the NewYork Mets, who pleaded guilty last week to distributing steroids to dozens of ballplayers between 1995 and 2005

Reader Phyllis Landis of Los Angeles submitted this quote:

“I didn’t think there was anything illegal about skinning a dead ‘gator.” Tampa, Fla., man Benjamin Hodges, who was arrested for skinning a dead alligator he found floating in a river. After transporting the animal home in a shopping cart, he began skinning it on his lawn before police arrived; he said he was going to use the hide to make a new belt.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-27” author: “Joan Boyd”

“As for the one Mormon running for office, those that really believe in God will defeat him anyway, so don’t worry about that. That’s a temporary situation.” The Rev. Al Sharpton, on Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s faith. Sharpton later said his remarks were taken out of context.

“The surge needs to go through the beginning of next year, for sure.” " Lt. Gen. Raymond T. Odierno, a commander for U.S. military operations in Iraq, on the Pentagon’s announcement that 35,000 soldiers will begin deploying to Iraq in August as replacements

“We will have our differences, and we will have our agreements, and I’m looking forward to working with him.” President George W. Bush, on France’s president-elect, Nicolas Sarkozy, who called for improved U.S.-French relations but also said he would not have gotten France involved in the Iraq War

“It was like a nightmare when we left. You couldn’t breathe, and ash was falling like snow.” Avalon, Calif., resident Kathy Troeger, on a wildfire that burned 4,000 acres and forced residents and tourists off the resort of Santa Catalina Island

“I don’t think this is the gun that is going to take cervical cancer off the map.” Dr. Diane M. Harper, on new data suggesting that Gardasil, the HPV vaccine designed to prevent cervical cancer, may be far less effective than once thought

“There are a lot of ’logical’ scenarios that people are going to put together. We’ve seen quite a few over the past couple of days that were pretty amusing.” Dale Earnhardt Jr., one of NASCAR’s most popular drivers, on speculation regarding which team he will join after his final season with the company founded by his late father

“Whether you’re at a desk in Pasadena or a desk in Mumbai, you’re still just a phone call or e-mail away from the interview.” James Macpherson, the editor of California news site Pasadena Now.com, on outsourcing local political reporting to journalists in India

“We figured, hey, if someone’s going to spend a few million on the General Lee, they should be able to pay for it.” Allen Stockman, who handles actor John Schneider’s estate, on a prank $10 million eBay bid—a would-be site record—for the “Dukes of Hazzard” car

life is short. get a divorce. From a Chicago law firm’s billboard ad featuring barely clothed models. City officials eventually took it down.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Loraine Clermont”

Stephen Butler, director of foreign-exchange trading at Scotia Capital, after the Canadian “loonie” rose to equal the U.S. dollar for the first time in more than 30 years

“We don’t know yet what’s going to come in their place.” Amsterdam Mayor Job Cohen, on the display windows for prostitutes that are likely to close when brothel owner “Fat” Charlie Geerts sells his buildings to a developer

“My father is happy to shed light on the Khmer Rouge regime for the world and people to understand.” Nuon Say, son of top Khmer Rouge leader Nuon Chea, on his father’s arrest for crimes against humanity

“It’s difficult to make plans for prison terms when we have no idea who will show up and who won’t.” Ellinor Houm, a top corrections official in Norway, on the fact that 20 percent of convicted Norwegian criminals fail to report for their prison terms

“We decided to take it down to avoid confusion.” Peter Bruin, a public-relations manager at eBay, on why the auction site removed a mock offering of the country of Belgium, posted to protest the Flanders secession crisis. The offer attracted a bid of €10 million.

GO TO HELL!New York’s Daily News, after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad requested a tour of the World Trade Center site during his visit to the United Nations

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-06” author: “Jeanne Johnson”

“We can’t actually recall anything that you wouldn’t see in most pubs across Australia.” –Australian opposition leader Kevin Rudd, in his apology for visiting a New York City strip club in 2003, saying that he was too drunk to remember what happened that evening

“The correction was exaggerated during the printing process.” –Paris Match magazine, on its retouching a photo that showed French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s love handles

“This is too much of a surprise.” –University of Minnesota astronomy professor Lawrence Rudnick, unsure of what to call his discovery of a cosmic blank spot spanning nearly 10 billion trillion kilometers of nothingness

“We will pay no attention. We care for our people and our Constitution and can find friends elsewhere.” –Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, during a trip to Syria, responding to criticism of his government by President George W. Bush and other U.S. officials

Quotation sources, top to bottom: New Zealand Herald, Financial Times, BBC, AP (2)

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-17” author: “Terry Carter”

Vermont Sen. Patrick Leahy, pushing for further investigation into whether departing Attorney General Alberto Gonzales gave false testimony to Congress

“I’m sure that there are going to be a lot of red-faced people over at the U.N. trying to just figure out how [the materials] got there.” White House spokesman Tony Snow, on decade-old Iraqi chemical gas that was found in the United Nations’ New York headquarters

“The real question for Republicans in Washington is how low can you go, because we are approaching a level of ridiculousness.” Republican strategist Scott Reed, on the string of scandals that have rocked the party. The latest involved Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, who was arrested for soliciting sex in a Minneapolis airport bathroom.

“Based on what we knew at the time, I believe we did the right things … You have to understand how fast things were occurring.” Virginia Tech president Charles W. Steger, on a report that harshly criticized the university’s handling of the deadliest school shooting in history

“It was dark as the dickens outside, and I was looking out the little window. I saw the red glare of a shell or a missile coming up toward our plane.” Alabama Sen. Richard Shelby, on being shot at as the military plane he was aboard with three other legislators left Baghdad

“It is not the responsibility of the Federal Reserve—nor would it be appropriate—to protect lenders and investors from the consequences of their financial decisions.” Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, on a potential interest-rate cut

“Public service is a privilege, and I urge all to try to find some time in their life to serve the needs of others.” Virginia Sen. John Warner, a respected authority on the war in Iraq, who announced he would not be seeking a sixth term

“Our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” Lauren Caitlin Upton, of South Carolina, at the Miss Teen USA pageant. Her incoherent answer was in response to a question about why many Americans are unable to locate the United States on a map.

Reader William Duffy of Greensboro, N.C., submitted this quote:

“The monkeys grab their breasts and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us.” Lucy Njeri, on apes that have invaded her village in Kenya. They have destroyed crops, creating a food shortage, and mocked the women who guard the food.

title: “Perspectives” ShowToc: true date: “2023-01-20” author: “William Mcmahon”

Sen. John Warner, on his proposed withdrawal of an as-yet-undetermined number of U.S. troops from Iraq by winter

“Sentencing is about a final accounting. It is a closure; it is a reckoning.”

Judge Richard Howard, in his sentencing of Florida sex offender John Evander Couey, who murdered 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford. Couey received the death penalty.

“He was hoping the judge would have done the right thing and sent him back to Panama, his home country.”

Attorney Frank Rubino, on a judge’s decision that clears the way for his client, former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, to be extradited to France, where he faces charges of money laundering

“We don’t react the same when other animals are being killed for sport or the sake of human pleasure.”

New York Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, on public response to Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who pleaded guilty to charges stemming from dogfighting. Marbury later added that he does not condone Vick’s actions.

“I’m sorry to say I won’t be in the iPhone scene anymore. I leave for college in two days, and I have so much to do.”

Seventeen-year-old George Hotz, who claimed credit for successfully unlocking the Apple iPhone, enabling it to be used with any carrier, not just AT&T, with which Apple has a five-year exclusivity deal

“No country can shield itself from invasion by a pathogen incubating in an airline passenger or an insect hiding in a cargo hold.”

World Health Organization director-general Margaret Chan, on a WHO report citing air travel for a rise in infectious disease

“I want to know why I’m planning a funeral while George Bush is planning a wedding.”

Anika Lawal, of Maryland, whose daughter, an Army sergeant, was recently killed in Iraq

“The sheriff wants everyone to do 100 percent of their time. Unfortunately, the facilities we have, and the capacity we have as mandated by federal court, doesn’t allow us to do that.”

Los Angeles County Undersheriff Larry Waldie, on the decision to release celebutante Nicole Richie after serving only 82 minutes of her four-day jail sentence for driving intoxicated

Reader Derek Barr of Moorefield, W. Va. submitted this quote:

“I’ve never had a naked man run to my house bleeding, you know what I mean?”

Tony Ballard, of Gilbert, Ariz., after his neighbor fled to his home. The neighbor, Juan Gonzalez, was allegedly stabbed by his estranged wife while the two were having sex. His wife, Falon, was charged with attempted murder, while Juan was listed in serious condition.

Quotation sources from top to bottom, left to right: New York Times (2), Associated Press (2), Fortune, Reuters, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Fox News